1
[ Commencement ]
- Where's Mother?
- I don't know.
- Hello, Mother. We were
beginning to worry about you.
- Hello, Ann.
- Hello, Mother.
- Hello, Ernestine.
- Hello, Mother.
- Hello, Frank.
- Hello, Mother.
- Hello, Martha.
- Hello, Mother.
- Hello, Bill.
- Hello, Mother.
- Hello, Lillian.
- Hello, Mother.
- Hello, Fred.
- Hello, Mother.
- Hello, Dan.
- Hello, Mother.
- Hello,Jack.
- Where were you, Mother?
- I ran into someone from
the engineering department.
- He insisted that I--
- Shh!
- Oh, hi, Mom.
- Hello, Bob, dear.
- Where's Jane?
- In front. Fifth from the left.
[ Continues ]
The baby.
The baby's being graduated.
- The last one. I can hardly believe it.
- What was that, Mother?
- [ Man ] Ladies and gentlemen...
- Shh.
it gives me great pleasure
to introduce to you...
the class valedictorian,
Miss Susan Whitaker...
who will speak to you on...
''Our Generation and the
Challenge of the Future.''
Professor Dickerson,
members of the faculty...
honored guests
and fellow students...
this is an important day
in our lives.
[ Mother Narrating ]
Yes, it is an important day.
And there were times, Frank,
when I thought this day would never come.
But it had to,
for in my mind...
I had promised you
that thejob would be done.
I remember we hadjust sold
the house in Montclair...
the house that you
had bought for us...
and had moved to one not quite so spacious
and not quite so full of memories.
I was packing to go away
on a lecture trip...
for I was determined that I would
keep on with your work.
I had to.
[ Boys ]
Lazy
I want to be lazy
I long to be out in the sun
With no work to be done
Under that awning
They call us
Ay-yi-yi
Stretching and yawning
And let the world go drifting by
I want to peep
through the deep
Tangled wildwood
Counting sheep till I sleep
Like a child would
With a great big
Valise full of books to read
Where it's peaceful
[ GirlJoins In ]
While I'm killing time
Being lazy
-Janey, you do a good job down there.
- Lazy
I want to be lazy
I long to be out in the sun
With no work to be done
- I pressed your dinner dress, Mother.
- Dinner dress?
Just because you're a lady engineer
doesn't mean you can't dress up.
Thank you, Martha.
Ernestine, dust the banister
on your way down.
While I'm killing time
Being lazy
[ Humming ]
Counting sheep till I sleep
Like a child would
And I'll pack my valise
And I'll say good-bye
to the Gilbreths
While I'm wasting time
- Being lazy
- Tom, you wouldn't leave us.
'Course not. Where could
I get such an easy job?
1 4 rooms to clean,
36 meals to get every day.
If I hadn't quit school
in the second grade...
I could tell you how many meals
that'd make a week.
- 252. Are we having hash again?
- [ Sighs ]
- That ain't hash. That's lamb Rangoon.
- What is lamb Rangoon?
- Been in my family for generations.
- It smells like it.
- [ Doorbell Ringing ]
- I'll get it.
Lazy
I want to be lazy
I--
- Hello, cousin Leora.
- Hello, Martha, and Jean, isn't it?
- Ann here and Ernestine there.
- How stupid of me.
- I always get you turned 'round.
- Well, there's so many of us.
- Yes, isn't it heartbreaking?
- Hmm?
- How are things?
-Just fine.
- I'll tell Mother you're here.
- Thank you, dear.
I'll tell her too.
Honestly, every time she comes here,
she makes me feel like a charity case.
- Shh! She might hear you.
- I hope she does.
Maybe she'll stay away and mind
her own business.
[ Banging ]
- Good afternoon, Tom.
- Good afternoon, Mrs. Simmons.
- Old snoop.
- Did you say something?
No. I just said I'd swoop
in here later.
Will you close the doors, Tom?
- Hello, Leora.
- Hello, Lillie.
[ Indistinct Chattering ]
- Hey, what's she want?
- Shh!
It's very simple.
I talked to your brother Bill
and to Aunt Margaret.
And each of us has agreed
to take two of the younger children.
I wouldn't think of it!
Why, it's outrageous!
Do you--
There. I told you
you'd fly off the handle.
Now you listen to me, Lillie Gilbreth,
and try and be sensible about this.
I know nearly all of Frank's life insurance
money has been spent already.
- That's true, isn't it?
- Yes.
Well, I have that whole big house
up in Westchester, and it's empty.
If I'm willing to take in
two of your children...
and give them some of the advantages
you can't possibly give them...
why should you feel
that I'm being outrageous?
I know it's hard to give them up.
That's only natural...
but you're not thinking
of the children when you feel like that.
- You're thinking of yourself.
- I never thought I was being selfish.
Oh, I don't think you mean to be, but
that's the way it works out for them.
Suppose something were to happen...
- to one of them while you're away.
- Oh, Leora!
You can't just shut your eyes, Lillie.
You've got to think of things like that!
I'm right. I'll telephone Bill and Aunt
Margaret and tell them you've agreed.
No. No, I have to think about it.
- Call me tonight.
- Very well, Lillie.
Oh, Leora, would you like
to stay for dinner?
Thank you very much,
but I think not.
There are enough hungry birds
to feed without me.
Well, hello, children.
Oh, you little darling.
- How would you like to come and live with me?
- No!
- Call me later, Leora.
- [ Crying ]
I will, Lillie. Good-bye.
Good-bye, children.
[ Children ]
Good-bye.
[ Telephone Ringing ]
[ Lillie ]
Hello?
Yes, Leora.
Yes, I have made up my mind.
I want to thank you and Bill and
Aunt Margaret for all your kindness...
but we've decided
to stay together.
[ All Cheering ]
No, I'm still going away.
I'm going to fill Frank's last lecture contracts.
I'm sure they'll lead to something.
No, Leora. I'm afraid once
we broke up the family, we'd--
So you're going away
and leaving those children...
to the mercy of the heat
and theJersey mosquitoes.
No. I'm sending them
to Nantucket.
- [ All Cheering ]
- Shh.
No, not by themselves.
Tom will go with them.
I'm sorry, Leora.
I-- I have to do
what I think is best.
- Thank you and good-bye.
- [ All Chattering At Once ]
When did you decide on Nantucket?
I don't know.
It just came to me.
We have that house there,
and we haven't been able to sell it.
We've gone there every other year.
Why not this one?
- [ Cheering ]
- Now, you will be careful, won't you?
- We'll be so good, nobody will know us.
- Don't worry about a thing.
- I'll try not to.
- Oh, everything will be fine, Mother.
I'll take your place, Martha can
have charge of the money and the meals...
Frank will take care of the boys
and Ernestine will take care of the girls...
- and we'll all take care ofTom.
- [ All Chuckling ]
- and we'll all take care ofTom.
- [ All Chuckling ]
Let's go, everybody.
We only have 20 minutes.
- See you at the station.
- All right.
- Ain't they comin' with us too?
- No, no. It'll be too crowded.
How can you say that? Eight valises,
a dog, a cat, a canary bird.
- Nine people.
- Nine people? We're only supposed to be seven.
One, two, three--
Mickey and Peter Schermerhorn!
- You two get right out of this taxi.
- ButJackie said we could go.
I'm sorry. You can't.
Go on. Out of there, quickly.
Hurry now. We've got enough trouble
without taking the neighbor's children too.
Drive on.
Bye.
[ Horn Blowing ]
Oh,Janey!
If it isn't the bathing beauties.
Aren't you going in?
Later, Frank, later.
Oh, I get it.
Look at that poor sucker
standing there.
- Does he know what plans
you have in store for him?
- Please, go away.
- Oh, that poor Morton.
- [ Scoffs ]
- Morton just noticed us.
- Has he?
- What plans do you have in mind for him?
- None. Absolutely none.
He looks exactly the same
as he did last year.
I thought you found him
rather attractive last year.
I did, but I'm a year older, and women
mature so much earlier than men.
- He's a baby. Really, he is.
- I don't think he's a baby.
- Want him?
- Want him? He's an Amherst man.
Well, here he comes.Just catch
the ball when I throw it to you.
Hello, Ann.
Oh, hello, Morton.
You remember my sister Ernestine.
Oh, yes. Hello. Ann, how about going in
for a swim? The water's keen.
- I don't think so.
- Come on. I'll race you to the pier.
I don't feel like it, but if it's
a race you want, Ernestine--
Hi, everybody.! Who wants
to race me out to the pier?
- I do!
- Well, come on, then.
Say, you're not the only one
who got mature this year.
Oh, Martha's just an infant.
She doesn't look like
an infant in that.
Well, thanks for turning
Morton over to me.
Believe me, Ernestine,
you haven't lost a thing.
I know. How can you
lose something you never had?
Fight, fight, fight, fight
Fight on for Sagiwan
Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight
Fight on for Sagiwan
Fight, fight, fight, fight
- Hi. Is this the Gilbreth house?
- Yes, it is.
- Thanks.
- You're new around here, aren't you?
Yep. First day on the island,
first day on the job. Al Lynch is the name.
- I'm Ernestine Gilbreth.
- ''Meased'' to ''pleet'' ya.
[ Chuckles ]
Is that ''S'' for Syracuse?
No. Sagiwan Agricultural
and Technical.
- I got that for football.
- Isn't that marvelous.
Tom, I'd like for you to meet Mr. Lynch,
our new deliveryman.
- Hi.
- Ah, Mr. Lynch.
I'm very pleased
to make your acquaintance.
And now, would you mind bringing
the groceries in, or do you need some help?
Help? Me?
I only took this job
to keep my muscles in trim.
All the football players do.
You know, Red Grange
is delivering ice this summer.
- Here?
- No, no, someplace else.
But I take a great interest in him.
We both play the same position.
- Oh?
- Isn't that interesting.
- What fraternity is that?
- Tau Tau Tau.
You're looking at the head
of the house. Well, so long.
So long.
I'll be seizing ya.
[ Clicks Tongue ]
[ Sighs ]
Dear Mrs. Gilbreth--
It all started in the kitchen.
Saw it with my own two eyes.
I was standing there
with Ernestine...
when this handsome young giant
walked in with the groceries.
- Oh, Tom.
- He had the body of an oak tree...
and the mind of an acorn.
'Twas love at first sight.
'Twas love at first sight.
Beans.
Beans?
Beans, beans, beans.
Howdy-do, children
Howdy doody-do
Sister Martha bought some extra
special groceries for you
- Beans
- [ All ] Beans?
Beans!
[ Ann ]
Beans for our breakfast
[ Frank ]
And beans for our lunch
[ Martha ]
Beans for suppertime
[ All ] Boiled beans, soup beans
stewed beans, baked beans
Beans rain or shine
[ Tom ] Martha never has ham
chicken or lamb
Strange as it seems
[ Ann ]
Whom we admire
[ Girls ] But who doesn't tire of
eating beans, beans, beans
[ Martha ]
Oh, I never tire of eating beans
Beans, beans
- Tau Tau Tau.
- It's Greek. Do you know what it means?
- Property of Al Lynch.
- Oh, Al.
Martha, if I take a girl out,
I have to have some money in my pocket.
I have to buy her something--
an ice cream soda or a hamburger.
- No.
- I won't eat anything myself. I'll just watch her.
We have no money to spend
on strange girls.
- Here comes Ernestine with that great big--
- Don't say it, Fred.
He never takes any of us
for a ride in his truck.
I start my deliveries tomorrow morning
at 1 0:00. Be waiting for me.
I will. Good-bye, Al.
I'll be squeezing ya.
[ Clicks Tongue ]
I'll be squeezing ya.
[ Clicks Tongue ]
Phooey!
Hello, everybody.
Hello.
- What's the matter with you?
- Did you hurt your back?
- Take a look.
- [ Whistles ]
- Wow!
- Dainty, isn't it?
Al's?
- Oh, no, not Al Lynch.
- Oh, you.
You're just jealous because your
younger sister got engaged before you did.
- Are you engaged to him?
- Yes.
- Really?
- Yes.
Then get him to slip you a couple of steaks
some night by accident, will ya?
Oh, honestly! All anybody in
this family ever thinks about is food.
It's the next best thing
to eating it.
Martha, couldn't you just squeeze
some hamburgers out of that budget?
The budget only calls for meat
for the little ones. We're all full-grown.
Well, I'm not. My best
growing years are ahead of me.
All right. Tonight you're going
to get some meat.
Meat?
- Did I hear right?
- I can't believe it.
I said we're going
to have meat tonight.
To celebrate Ernestine's engagement,
we're going to have a barbecue.
Oh, boy. That fire looks great.
When do we start cooking?
- As soon as the meat comes.
- Haven't you got it with ya?
- It'll be along.
- What do you have to do, shoot it?
- I told you it was clams.
- We don't have to shoot it
and we don't have to dig for it.
Just leave everything to me.
I walked on the bottom
of the drain
Across the raging main
I lost my love
with a boxing glove
It's the Putnams.
They're gonna have a barbecue too.
Well, isn't it a good thing
we got here first.
Martha, is this the meat
you said would be along?
- You can't.
- No? Watch me.
You can't possibly.
You don't have to stay
if you don't want to.
- Hello.
- Hello, Colonel.
- Were you planning a barbecue too?
- Why, yes, but--
Oh, I'm sorry.
Gosh, we didn't know it.
Why don't you take over the fire.
We'll just go back to the house
and boil ours on the stove.
I wouldn't hear of it.
We insist. Don't we?
After all, you're planning
a party, and, well, we're only family.
All we have is frankfurters, anyway.
Let's get our things together
and get out of Colonel Putnam's way.
You'll do nothing of the kind.
You're going to stay right here with us.
We'll combine forces.
- Oh, no.
- I insist.
We have more than enough steaks
for everyone, haven't we, Emily?
Oh, yes, Colonel.
Enough for a regiment.
Well, it isn't up to me.
It's up to Ann.
- She's the oldest.
- [ Stammering ]
If you don't stay,
I won't enjoy a mouthful of food.
Well, we couldn't do that
to you, Colonel. Could we?
- Absolutely not.
- Good.!
[ All ]
Then you'll be a bit older
In the dawn when you wake
And you'll be a bit bolder
With the new day you make
Here's theJapanese sandman
Trading silver for gold
Just an old secondhand man
Trading new days for old
- Here's theJapanese sandman
- [ Scatting ]
Sneaking on with the dew
- Just an old secondhand man
- What does he do
- He'll buy your old day from you
- [ Scatting ]
- He will take every sorrow
- Take it away
- Of the day that is through
- [ Scatting ]
And he'll give you tomorrow
- No sorrow tomorrow
- [ Both ] Just start life anew
- Then you'll be a bit older
- [ Scatting ]
- In the dawn when you wake
- Things will be jake when you awake
- And you'll be a bit bolder
- Bolder and bolder
- With the new day you make
- And you'll be making no mistake
- Here's theJapanese sandman
- [ Humming ]
- Trading silver for gold
- Come on, Martha. Dance.
- Yeah, Martha, come on.
- Come on and dance
New days for old
Dance, dance, dance
[ All Humming ]
[ Continues ]
- Sandman
- [ Scatting ]
Trading silver for gold
- [ Whistling ]
- [ Blowing Air]
[ Scatting ]
Didn't think we could do it.
Look! There's Mother!
Mother!
Mother, what a surprise.
[ Laughing ]
Oh, children, you look wonderful.
- Welcome back, Mrs. Gilbreth.
- Thank you, Tom.
Hello, Mrs. Gilbreth. I'm Colonel Putnam,
one of your new neighbors.
- How do you do?
- Won't you join us?
- Thank you, Colonel.
- [ Emily ] Come and get it, everybody.!
[ Singing Indistinctly ]
Is something wrong, Mother?
- No. Why?
- We weren't expecting you
till the middle of August.
I know, dear. I just did everything
very quickly.
Isn't this steak delicious?
Seconds, anyone?
Uh, y-yes, please.
Just a song
At twilight
When the lights
Are low
- [ Continues Indistinctly ]
- What a beautiful night. Seems such a shame.
- What does, Mother?
- Well, Ann, you might as well know.
We'll all have to go
back to Montclair.
I stopped in to see
the real estate agent...
and he thinks he can rent the house here
for the rest of the summer.
Then the trip didn't go very well.
No, two of the lectures
were canceled...
and I couldn't get any of the others
to renew your father's old contracts.
But you and Father always
worked so closely together.
I guess he was the one
they were really hiring.
They think of me as someone
who just tagged along.
- What will you do, Mother?
- I don't know, Ann.
But when we get back, I'll write letters
to every firm I can think of...
and hope that someone will condescend
to hire a lady engineer.
Mother, I don't have to
go back to college.
I can skip a year. I could stay home
and get a job and help.
Well, we won't make
any drastic plans until we have to.
- Mother.! Mother.!
- Yes, Frank?
Don't say anything to the others.
I'll tell them in the morning.
Ernestine's no good at the harmony.
Would you take it?
- Well, I'll try.
- [ Chuckles ]
Though the heart be weary
Sad the day
And long
Still to us
At twilight
Comes love's
Old song
Comes love's old
Sweet
Song
[ Mother Narrating ] We went back to Montclair
and faced the problem of making ends meet.
We scrimped and cut corners
with one purpose in mind--
to keep the family together.
There you are.
- Thanks, Albert.
- Thank you, Doctor. Come in again.
If you don't mind, I'll take my lunch
while the business is slow.
- You go ahead, Albert. Enjoy.
- Thank you, Doctor.
Good afternoon.
Good afternoon.
Where's the other barber?
- Oh, he-- Uh, he just went out to lunch.
- Oh.
Is there anything
I can do for you?
Well, I had hoped to talk
to Albert because I--
Dan, Fred, stop that right now!
We've been coming here for so many years
and he knows us so well.
Whatever Albert can do for you,
I'd be glad to do, and more.
Well, these are
my brothers and sisters.
All of them?
No, there are four more.
But since we're such a large family
and need so many haircuts...
don't you think we ought
to get a special rate?
I think you should get a medal.
[ Chuckles ]
I mean, large families
are the backbone of the nation.
That's not the point. The point is,
do you think you can give us a special price?
Well, that's a lot of hair.
How do I know these are really
your brothers and sisters?
How do I know you didn't
collect them on the street...
and you're getting a rebate
from their mothers and fathers?
I never! Everyone in Montclair
knows the Gilbreth family.
- Gilbreth, how do you spell that?
- [ Fred ] Cut it out.!
G-I-L-B-R-E-T-H.
- Mm-hmm. First name?
- I don't need a haircut.
Yes, I noticed that.
You look fine.
You should always
wear it that way.
You don't sound like
a barber to me.
Ah, Miss Gilbreth,
glad to see you back.
- You still here, Dr. Grayson?
- Doctor?
- Are you a doctor?
- Don't feel bad, Miss Gilbreth.
I'm usually taken for a busboy
or a street cleaner.
- Do you think a mustache would help?
- No.
Neither do I.
Good-bye, Gilbreths.
[ Children ]
Bye.
Well!
Oh, Dan!
Hey, come on!
Hurry up, for crying out loud!
What kept you so long?
- Gee, you sure got a lot of bottles.
- We couldn't carry them.
Any rags, any bones
any bottles today
- Hurry up, you kids.
- [ Scatting ]
Any rags, any bones
any bottles today
Funny old ragpicker
coming this way
A ny rags, any bones
any bottles today
Rags
[ Scatting ]
- Pass him, Ann. Pass him.
-Just watch me.
T he same old story
in the same old way
Rags
[ Scatting ]
Rags
[ Scatting ]
Any rags, any bones
any bottles today
Funny old ragpicker
coming this way
Whoa! Whoa!
[ All Laughing ]
- Rags
- [ All Scatting ]
Any rags, any bones
any bottles today
Same old story
in the same old way
[ Scatting ]
[ Laughing ]
[ Laughing ]
- Here you are.
- Thanks.
That a boy.
Here's another load.
Okay, now. Step on it.
You're doing fine.
Keep it up.
Here she comes, Bill.
- Gangway!
- Let her slide.
Bottle caps!
Bottle--
- Accident?
- Why?
- Because if it wasn't--
- I'll slaughter you.
- Yeah?
- Yeah!
[ Frank ]
Jiggers.!
- What on earth's going on in here?
- We're making root beer.
- To sell?
- Who wants to sell it? We wanna drink it.
Do you know how much root beer
this family drinks in the summertime?
- No.
- Three cases a week.
A total cash expenditure
of $3.60 every week.
- It's astonishing.
- Oh, Mrs. Gilbreth.
- Yes, Tom?
- Uh, man here to see you.
Drove up in a mighty fine car.
Waitin' in the sittin' room.
Thank you.
Bill, when you empty that, send up
last week's batch. And remember.
Don't touch the ones with chalk marks.
They're Tom's.
- Okay.
- What flavor did Tom make?
I saw him put some yeast, prunes
and sugar in 'em.
Eew! Must taste terrible.
- How do you do?
- How do you do, Mrs. Gilbreth?
- That your husband?
- Yes.
- They tell me he was quite a guy.
- Yes, he was quite a guy.
I was just down here visiting
the Wilson Tool and Die outfit.
Wilson's got a couple of boys running
the plant for him and they're just great.
- They should be. My husband trained them.
- I know. That's why I'm here.
I got a great opportunity
for fellas like them.
Know anybody you'd like to do a favor for?
I could use a couple of good men.
- I could use a half a dozen.
- Well, Mr., uh--
- Harper. Sam Harper.
- Of Harper Electric?
- That's right.
- Well, Mr. Harper...
my husband trained many men,
but they all have very good jobs.
Bet they wouldn't
give 'em up, either.
I tried to steal those two fellas
from Wilson, but nothing doing.
- They wouldn't be exactly right for you, anyway.
- No?
We trained Evans and Boyd
for Wilson Tool and Die.
- They wouldn't be right for Harper Electric.
- We?
Yes. My husband and I
always worked together.
- Is that so?
- I'm an engineer too.
Oh, women are creeping
in all over.
- What?
- Oh, nothing.
Do you suppose you--
No, that'd never work.
- It certainly would. Why wouldn't it?
- Why wouldn't what?
What you're thinking about.
I'll train some men for you.
- Where?
- Right here.
My husband and I trained
all the others at home.
Aw, never work.
No man who's worth anything would ever
take instructions from a woman.
I know I wouldn't.
That is a very narrow-minded,
bigoted point of view, Mr. Harper.
Well, maybe it is, but it's my opinion,
and I'm stuck with it.
Yes, you are.
And if it's any comfort to you...
that opinion is shared by most
of the big industrial firms in the country.
- There's no reason to get excited.
- Good day, Mr. Harper.
- [ Boy ] Oh, boy. That was fun.
- We sure have enough.
[ All Chattering At Once ]
Are you teaching school here?
No. These are my own children.
Children, this is Mr. Harper.
[ All ]
Hi.
- How do you do?
- Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry.
- This is another one. Ann, this is Mr. Harper.
- How do you do, Mr. Harper?
You think you can train
executives here too, huh?
That is my opinion, Mr. Harper,
and apparently, I'm stuck with it.
Yes, well, good-bye.
Pardon me.
- Stupid, arrogant, hardheaded, ignorant--
- Mother, what is it?
Oh, Ann, it would have been
absolutely perfect.
I could have earned enough
money right here at home--
enough to take care of all of us,
send you back to college...
and I wouldn't have had
to leave the children.
It's absolutely maddening to come up
against that stupid male conceit.
- I don't understand.
- Oh, I'm so sorry, dear.
It's just that I'm at my wit's end.
Oh, Mother, I know you'll get something.
Some of those letters you wrote.
I've already had enough answers
to know what they'll all say.
''Sorry, we have nothing for you.''
It makes me so furious.
For a moment there, I thought
all my troubles were at an end.
- [ Explosion ]
- Mercy Maude! What's that?
- In the cellar. It must be the furnace.
- [ Explosion ]
We've gotta get the children
out of the house before it blows up!
The house ain't blowing up.
There ain't nothing to get excited about.
- Well, what is it?
- It's just the children's root beer, that's all.
- Thank heaven!
- Don't you worry about a thing.
I'll go clean it all up.
Children's root beer?
Tom!
Just a minute.
- Root beer doesn't explode.
- Huh?
[ Sniffs ]
Alcohol.
Alcohol? You smell alcohol,
Mrs. Gilbreth?
Smell it? If I lit a match,
the whole house would explode.
What have you been
making down there?
- Me?
- Not the children. You.
Well, it's an old family ''re-ceep,''
you might say.
You take some prunes and yeast, and add
a little sugar just to change the flavor.
It's just possible that with
this you might create something...
that has a chemical reaction
like alcohol and smells like alcohol.
- And tastes like alcohol.
- Yeah-- Uh, no.
- And tastes like alcohol.
- Yeah-- Uh, no.
Step in here, Tom.
Tom, this is outrageous.
I know you've been with us
many years, but this is the last straw.
I warned you time
and time again.
But now you leave me no alternative.
You'll simply have to go.
- I had to do it. I had to let him go.
- [ All Complaining ]
- We couldn't get along without Tom.
- I know how you feel about him...
but you're just going to have to
get along without him.
Well, come on, everybody. Let's go on down
there and clean up the mess.
[ Doorbell Ringing ]
- Good afternoon, Mrs. Gilbreth.
- Yes?
I think you ought to let me come in
because I've changed my mind.
- You have?
- Yes.
Oh, come in. Come in.
Thank you.
You can have your school.
I'll send you two men.
- But two men won't do.
- What?
It won't really pay me to start
a school unless I have at least six pupils.
It would be inefficient to teach two
when I can teach six at the same time.
You said yourself you could use half a dozen,
so it'd be just as inefficient for you--
All right. You phone me tomorrow
and we'll work out the details.
- Thank you, Mr. Harper. I'll do that.
- You're quite welcome.
[ Explosions ]
- What the devil is that?
- Oh, the children have a laboratory downstairs...
and I expect they're fooling
around with chemicals.
Chemicals?
[ Sniffs ]
Smells like alcohol to me.
Mr. Harper, alcohol is a chemical.
Yes. So it is.
Good afternoon.
Good-bye.
I'll call you tomorrow.
Mrs. Gilbreth, I know
you're a busy woman...
with your scientific
management and engineering...
so I wrote myself
a character reference.
- If you'll sign it, I'll be obliged to you.
- You wrote yourself a reference?
I learned something in the years
I've been here. I'll read it to you.
''To Who It May Concern:
''Thomas George Bracken
has worked for me for 20 years...
''as cook, cleaning man,
gardener, furnace man...
''children's nurse and butler.
''After 20 years
of loyalty and devotion...
''I was forced to fire him
against my will...
because of certain financial reverses
which he was not responsible for.''
I most certainly
will not sign that.
I know it stretches
the truth a bit...
but if we tell the truth,
who's gonna give me a job?
- Quitting just when I need you most.
- But, Mrs. Gilbreth--
A fine time you picked.
Just when I'm getting my school started...
and you know I can't get along without you,
you decide to walk out after 20 years.
I never heard of anyone
so ungrateful.
Yes, ma'am.
Sorry, ma'am.
- Thank you, ma'am.
- That's better.
[ Explosion ]
Uh, Mrs. Gilbreth, the last one.
[ Mother Narrating ] By Thanksgiving,
the school was fully launched.
Sam Harper more than kept his word.
He not only sent
four men himself...
but he contrived to have the biggest
department store in New York send two more...
and persuaded Kincaid Rubber
to send an additional two.
We must remember that of all the factors
involved in industrial management...
the most important
is the human being.
In view of the fact that
tomorrow is Thanksgiving...
we'll end our class
a little early today.
My eldest daughter is home
from college for the holiday.
And this is a very big day
in our house.
I hope you'll all have
a very happy Thanksgiving.
[ All ]
Thank you.
[ Musical Horn Honking ]
- Boy, what a catsy car!
- Wow. Pipe the sheik.
- That coat cost $600 if it cost a nickel.
- I can't see!
And that roadster, I wonder
what he paid for that.
- Don't you dare ask him.
- Yes, Ernestine.
You can count on me to act civilized.
If you marry him, none of us will have to work.
[ Martha ]
Yeah, we'd all come and live with you.
- Who is it?
- It's Al Lynch, the Nantucket heartthrob.
- Oh.
- You said it was all right for me to invite him here.
Yes, dear, I remember.
- Remember, boys, you all stand up
when he comes in.
- Here he is!
Quick, everybody,
sit down.
- What for?
- How can we stand up
if we're not sitting down first?
[ Doorbell Ringing ]
Why, Al Lynch,
what a delightful surprise.
- Baby!
- [ Gasps ]
Oh, Al. Oh, Ally, dear.
- Baby, whose pin are you wearing?
- Oh, no.! Al, please.
[ Gasps ]
No, Al.
Okay. Did you get a load of the chariot?
Cost 2,000 smackers.
- I hope that answers your question.
- It's beautiful, Al.
- How about taking a quick spin?
- I want you to say hello to my family first.
I got plenty of time for that.
I'm gonna be here the whole weekend, ain't I?
- I'll just tell Mother.
- Sure. I'd like to meet your old lady.
[ Growling ]
Get away from me!
Mother, I'd like you
to meet Al Lynch.
- Al, this is my mother.
- Your mother?
I could have sworn
she was your sister.
She looks just like your sister.
I'd have sworn it.
Ernestine, won't you be cold
in that open car?
It's all right, Mrs. G.
She gets cold...
I'll give her part
of my coat-- the sleeves.
- Oh, Al!
- [ Chuckles ] Well, be seizing ya.
[ Door Closes ]
And to think we're having
a party tonight in his honor.
Lend her his sleeves. I'd like to lend him
a swift kick in the pants.
That's what Dad would've done.
[ Engine Starting ]
[ Musical Horn Honking ]
If you don't really care for
Morton Dykes, why did you invite him?
Why didn't you ask
somebody else?
Because there isn't
anybody else I do care for... yet.
[ Humming ]
[ Door Opens ]
- Hello.
- Well, hello.
We had the most divine spin
in the roadster.
- For three hours?
- We ran out of g-g-gas.
- Oh, Ernestine!
- You didn't fall for that old chestnut?
- You're jealous.
- Believe me, Ernestine, I am not jealous...
not the slightest bit.
You're not?
[ Shivers ]
- You poor kid, you're frozen to death!
- Better take a hot bath.
- You poor kid, you're frozen to death!
- Better take a hot bath.
Fight on for Sagiwan
Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight
Now just do what I told you.
You go first, Bill.
- Yeah.
- A nd fight, fight, fight
- Fight on for Gilbreth.
- Right.
- For Sagiwan
- Hi.
Hi.
- Hey, I thought I locked that door.
- Oh, that lock never worked.
Nobody pays any attention
to a thing like that in a big family.
You mean one of the girls
might walk in here too?
Sure, but they probably wouldn't
even look at you.Just walk right past.
- What?
- That's the way we were brought up.
You weren't brought up.
You were dragged up.
That's very funny.
- Hey, close the door!
- Sure, but it won't keep anybody out.
Fight on for Sagiwan
Hi.
- Sure it's out there?
- Sure. I threw it up and it didn't come down.
- Okay, I'll get it for you.
- What are you doing?
- His ball's out there and I wanna get it for him.
- Are you crazy?
Oh, it isn't dangerous out here.
There's a big, wide roof.
[ Wind Gusting ]
Give me that brush.
I can't reach it.
- Sure.
- Hey.
Gee, you got hair on your chest.
You got more hair than Tom.
[ Indistinct ]
- Get away from me!
- I got it.
- Good. Come on, Fred.
- Okay. Thanks a lot, fella.
Close the window!
Close that door!
- [ Screams ]
- [ High-pitched ] Oh, pardon me.
I'm terribly sorry, Al, dear.
It is Al, isn't it?
[ Giggles ]
[ Big Band ]
- Mother, let's have a PaulJones.
- All right, dear.
A PaulJones, everybody. Every time
the music stops, change partners.
- I don't wanna change partners.
- I'm just trying to pep up the party.
- Have you seen Al?
- No.
- I wonder what happened to him.
- To who?
- Oh, no, you don't.
- [ Resumes ]
Oh!
Excuse me, please.
No locks on the doors...
people parading in and out
while other people are taking a bath...
brothers dressing up like sisters.
I always thought
this family was a little peculiar...
but I never thought
they were just plain crazy.
I don't want to hear another word
against my family!
If you don't like us,just go!
- What do you think I'm doin'?
- Well, then go.
- Not without my pin.
- Oh! As if I wanted it.
Believe me,
it's just an oversight.
How anybody could overlook anything
as vulgarly large as that!
Al Lynch takes that
from who it comes.
W e're sorry to see you go
We're sorry to see you go
W e hope to heck you'll never come back
We're sorry to see you go
W e're sorry to see you go
We're sorry to see you go
- W e hope to heck
- [ Musical Horn Honking ]
[ Scatting ]
Oh, Mother!
I don't know what they did to him,
but they did something terrible.
- Who did?
- I don't know.
But, Mother,
I gave him back his pin.
You did exactly right.
- Go in there and try to have a good time.
- I can't. I can't possibly.
You must.
You have other guests.
- [ Stops ]
- I'll get to the bottom of this.
I'll find out exactly what happened.
- Tom, you know everything
that goes on in this house.
- [ Resumes ]
What happened upstairs?
Who was wearing his sister's dress?
- I knew I forgot something.
- Tom, who was it?
I'm sorry, Mrs. Gilbreth,
but I'm no informant.
Frank. Will you come out here a minute?
I wanna speak to you.
Oh, sure, Mother.
Did you have anything to do
with insulting Al Lynch?
Well, it took quite a bit of doing,
but we managed it.
Frank, Al Lynch
was Ernestine's guest.
Well, sure, Mother.
That was the trouble.
It wasn't up to you to judge him.
- The poor girl's heartbroken.
- Huh?
She's in tears. He took his pin back.
She's beside herself.
- Ernestine?
- Yes.
Mother, come here.
There's something I want you to see.
Now, Mother,
you'll just have to face it.
From now on, there are certain things
the men of the family will have to do for you.
Yes, Frank.
[ Horn Honking ]
[ Horn Honking ]
- Oh, I beg your pardon, madam,
but are you Dr. Gilbreth?
- Yes, I am.
Would you mind waiting here
for just a moment?
- Why, no.
- Thank you.
[ Horn Honking ]
Dr. Gilbreth, I'm Kendall Williams,
chairman of the Speakers' Committee.
How do you do?
Is something wrong?
I'm terribly sorry. This is awfully embarrassing,
but a dreadful mistake has been made.
One of the rules of
the Engineers' Club is...
that no women
are allowed to enter it.
- Surely, you must be joking.
- I most certainly am not.
I tried to call you at your home,
but you'd already left.
I'm terribly sorry.
Would you mind telling me
why I was invited in the first place?
I read an article by L.M. Gilbreth,
and I was very much impressed with it.
I thought it would be interesting
if L.M. Gilbreth would speak to us.
But-- But you're a woman.
Well, I'm afraid there's nothing
I can do about that, Mr. Williams.
After all, even engineering
has its limits.
Oh.
Here's a copy of the speech
I was planning to give tonight.
Perhaps your members would find it more
enlightening if it were delivered by a man.
Good night!
[ Door Slams ]
[ Horn Honking ]
[ Phone Ringing ]
Hello? Yes, this is
the Gilbreth residence.
This is Martha Gilbreth.
Montclair Hospital?
Mother?
But-- But that's impossible.
- She's in New York delivering a speech.
- What's the matter?
Shh! Oh.
What happened to her?
Your mother was in an automobile
accident and she was brought here.
No, you can't speak to her now, but you'll be able
to see her tomorrow morning at 1 0:00.
Tomorrow morning at 1 0:00.
Not before that?
You're... sure she's all right?
- Thank you.
- What happened?
Mother, she's-- she's been
in an automobile accident.
- She's at Montclair Hospital.
- Is she all right?
That's what they say,
but I'm going to call Ann.
I think she ought to
come home from school.
If she leaves tonight,
she should be here by morning.
Operator? Operator,
I want long distance, please.
- How long will I be here, Doctor?
- Until you get well.
But I must know. I have all
my children at home alone...
I teach a class and I have a lecture
at Rutgers on Saturday.
- I think you better plan to
cancel everything for a while.
- But I can't--
Mrs. Gilbreth, you drove
your car into a parked truck.
And it doesn't take a doctor to tell you
anybody who does that needs a rest.
Come in.
Mother.
- [ All Chattering At Once ]
- Hello, children.
Oh, it's so good to see you.
- Are you all right, Mother?
- I'm fine, dear.
How are the other children?
You couldn't bring them down, could you?
No. No, they're not allowed in,
but they're fine.
- Where's Frank?
- Is she all right, Doctor?
Well, yes, but she needs
some rest, plenty of it.
- It's the barber!
- That's right.
- You know each other?
- I almost gave them all a haircut once...
but we couldn't agree on the price.
- Oh, really?
- I'll send the nurse in to do
something about the flowers.
Thank you.
Shh.
Go on. Go on back.
Go on.
- Frank, dear!
- Shh. I've got all the kids with me.
- Hello, Mother.
- Hello, Lillian.
- For you, Mother.
- Oh, thank you, darling.
- You're wounded.
-Just a little, dear.Just a little.
- Does it hurt, Mother?
- Now, don't cry.
If the doctor hears you,
he'll put you all out.
Yes, Mother.
None of you
went to school today.
You'll just have to go
straight from here.
I better write some excuses
for you for being late.
Don't bother, Mother.
I have them right here.
An original and eight carbons.
Just sign the top one.
I guess I don't have to worry
about the house running smoothly, do I?
No, Mother.
Oh, my. Another bouquet.
I'll have to get another vase.
By the way, Dr. Grayson
saw you come in.
- He said to take the little ones
out the way they came.
- Yes, ma'am.
And when you come tomorrow,
be sure to use the back stairs again.
- Yes, ma'am.
- Now, that's enough for today.
You better say good-bye.
Tomorrow you can stay longer.
- Good-bye, dear.
- Good-bye, Mother.
Good-bye love.
Good-bye, dear.
Be careful. You'll jiggle the bed,
and your mother's in considerable pain.
Not anymore, I'm not.
Good-bye, Bill.
Good-bye, Fred, dear.
- Ernestine.
- Good-bye, Mother.
- Good-bye, Mother.
- Good-bye, Ann.
Good-bye.
- Good-bye, Mother.
- Good-bye, Frank.
Well, hello, girls.
How's your mother?
The doctor says she's gonna be fine,
Mr. Harper.
- That's fine. I'm glad to hear it. Where is she?
- Room 309.
- Thank you.
- [ Dr. Grayson ] Miss Gilbreth?
Oh, yes, Doctor?
I just wanted to reassure you
about your mother's condition.
All she needs is plenty of care,
and I'll see that she gets it.
- Thank you, Doctor.
- Hope you come to see her every day.
I think that'd do her
a lot of good.
Oh, I won't be able to.
I have to go back to college tomorrow.
- But I'll be back for Easter vacation.
- Good. Good.
- Well, good-bye.
- Good-bye.
- Is Mother gonna be here till Easter?
- Of course not.
- Well, then, I don't understand.
- It's all right, Ernestine.
Ann does.
And when that Kendall Williams
person left me standing on the sidewalk...
in front of the Engineers' Club
all dressed up...
with no dinner to go to,
I was so furious...
I guess I didn't watch
where I was driving...
and I ran into a parked truck.
- And here I am.
- Oh, it's ridiculous.
It's positively ridiculous.
Everybody in the country ought to know
that Dr. L.M. Gilbreth is a woman...
and a very remarkable one.
Lillie, what you need
is some good publicity...
- and I'm going to see that you get it.
- How?
Well, you remember the day I walked into your
house and told you my name was Sam Harper?
And you said,
''Of Harper Electric?''
- Right?
- Yes.
Then you just leave
everything to me.
[ Horn Honks ]
I promise you, if you
ever ask me out again, we'll go alone.
Oh, I don't mind.
It's quite an experience.
Come on. Hurry along, everybody.
The newsreel is starting! Come on!
[ Horn Honks ]
That's the Gilbreths.
They used to live on our block.
- Gee, was my mother glad when they moved away.
- [ Laughs ]
[''Hail To The Chief'']
[ Scattered Applause ]
[''Hail, Hail,
The Gang's All Here'']
[''There's No Place Like Home'']
[ Audience Laughing ]
Look, Mama! There's Ann!
Don't eat the plate!
- Good heavens! Isn't it almost over?
- I think so.
Oh, no! It isn't!
Do you realize that that newsreel
will be shown all over the United States?
- And Canada and the British Isles.
- [ Moans ]
I still say it's darn good publicity.
I know. You keep saying that.
But how could that be good publicity?
I'll tell you. They mentioned your name.
They spelled it correctly.
They used your picture.
And believe me, that's all that matters.
Children, your mother
is now a public figure.
[ Sighs ]
And so am I.
- That first day when we go back to school--
- I'm not going.
I'm gonna catch something
that'll keep me in bed tillJune.
What's the matter
with all of you, anyway?
Don't you realize you were in the same newsreel
with the president of the United States?
Yes. I thought he looked
much funnier than we did...
but nobody laughed at him.
I don't care whether they laughed
at you or not. They'll remember you.
- Isn't that right, Doc?
- Well, I don't see how they could forget.
[ Sighs ]
Well, ships that pass in the night.
Yeah, east is east
and west is west...
and so on and so forth.
It's all in a lifetime.
You meet all kinds of people...
so I guess you haven't
really wasted your evening.
No, I don't think I have.
Well, see you tomorrow night.
Say, I forgot to ask.
Are you free tomorrow night?
- Yes.
- Good.
- Good night.
- Good night.
[ Train Whistle Blows ]
It's coming in on time.
Be here any minute.
Bob, please.
This is a railroad station.
Exactly. People always kiss
in railroad stations.
- But I'm not going anyplace, and neither are you.
- Shh. Somebody might hear you.
- Stop it!
- I'm only trying to put you in a good mood...
so you'll look happy
when we tell your mother about us.
Bob, I suddenly think
I should tell her myself.
- Don't make it sound so solemn.
- I'm not.
But suppose I break down and cry
or something? I wouldn't want you there.
- Do you always cry when you're happy?
- Sometimes.
You should have seen me
when I was graduating from college.
You'd have thought
I was being flunked out.
- Why don't you come by the house at 5:00.
- Okay, darling.
Good-bye, darling.
Have a nice trip, darling.
[ Steam Hissing ]
- Mother.
- Ann, dear.
- How did the lecture go?
- Oh, it was wonderful.
I have the most marvelous news.
- How would you like to have
a professor for a mother?
- No.
Yes. You are now looking at Professor
Lillian Gilbreth of Purdue University.
Purdue.
Well, that's wonderful.
Yes, if only it were nearer Montclair.
I hate leaving the children
for so long.
But now that you're home and can
take over, I think it'll work out all right.
Oh, Porter.
That's mine. That brown bag.
Now, don't tell Sam Harper.
It'll only make his head bigger.
But you know, I think that
silly newsreel helped.
The dean told me he never laughed
at anything so much in his life.
But he also read an article of mine
last month and came to hear me lecture.
- Taxi, lady?
- Yes, please.
- Taxi?
- The car broke down again.
Oh.
- How's everything at home?
- Oh,just fine.
- Are you sure?
- Yes, Mother. Why should anything be wrong?
Oh, I don't know.
But when I'm away, I'm always afraid...
that something dreadful
might happen.
- Why, Mother.
- I know. It's silly.
But I'm never sure until I get back
and look at every one of you.
But I won't worry now
so much that you're home.
You'll never know
what a comfort it is to me, Ann.
[ Man ]
Thank you, ma'am.
- Thanks, Ben.
- Okay, Doc.
- Hi, Ann.
- Hello, Bob.
How'd it go?
I didn't tell her.
Bob, do you think
it's such a good idea?
Come again?
Well, taking on a wife when
you're just starting practice.
Don't you think it'd be better
if we wait a while?
No, I don't.
Why do you want to wait?
I just told you.
No, you didn't tell me.
This afternoon you weren't
worried about the two of us...
facing the world together.
There's obviously another reason.
- All right, then. It isn't fair to them.
- To whom?
To Mother and everyone else
in the family.
Oh, Bob, don't you see?
I've had all the best of it.
Now it's Ernestine's turn
to go away to school...
and someone ought
to help Mother.
I think I ought to.
I mean, we can be engaged...
but let's not get married for a while.
- How long a while?
- I don't know.
- Ayear? Two?
- I don't know!
I've heard of families like this,
but this is the first time I ever met one.
- Families like what?
- Oh, they raise the children and then use them.
Never let 'em go. They turn them into
a lot of assistant mothers and fathers...
bringing home the paycheck,
taking care of the younger kids.
My mother isn't like that at all.
Maybe she isn't, but that's the way
it comes out for you and me.
It's wrong, Ann, and if you won't
tell her, I will.
No, Bob, no.
Oh, won't you please wait?
It won't work, Ann.
We're too much in love.
We should get married now and start
out together. Now, you know that.
So let me tell her.
I can't.
Okay. So you can't.
Please, Bob, I love you so.
- Okay, okay, let's forget it.
- Oh, please, Bob.
- That's the way it is, that's the way it is.
- Aren't you going to come in?
No, I... got to get back
to the hospital.
- Will you call me?
- Oh, sure, sure.
Oh, boy, this strawberry's good.
- What flavor are you gonna get?
- I'm gonna get cherry.
I want lemon. Look.
[ Phone Ringing ]
Hello.
Oh, yes, Mrs. McIntire.
This is Ernestine.
Oh, that's wonderful.
Thank you very much.
That was Mrs. McIntire.
Mrs. Fox won't be able
to come tonight...
so I've been promoted to take charge
of the refreshment booth.
Zowie.
Well, dear,
you volunteered to help.
I only volunteered because no boy
volunteered to take me to the dance.
- Hello, Ann.
- Hello, Mother.
- [ Ernestine ] Annie, is that you?
- Yes, it is.
Will you lend me your
evening bag for tonight?
- Sure. Take it.
- Gee, thanks.
- I thought you were going to the dance.
- No, I'm not.
Ann, is everything all right
between you and Bob?
Why, yes, of course.
I don't like to be poky, dear...
but it seems to me I haven't seen him
for a couple of weeks.
Well, he's been working nights
at the hospital.
Two weeks in a row?
That's a bit unusual, isn't it?
Yes, it is. They're, uh, shorthanded,
I guess.
[ Phone Rings ]
Hello. Hello. Yes.
New York calling. Hello.
Oh, hello, Morton.
This is Ernestine.
Oh, I'm fine. How are you?
- You want to talk to Ann? She's right--
- I can talk to you just as well.
- Are you and Ann free tonight?
- Both of us, Morton?
- You mean, Ann and me?
- Yes.
I know it's the last minute
and very bad form.
But my cousin just got in
from Atlanta...
only be here for a few days, and I wonder
if we could all go out together?
Oh, Morton, there's a dance
in town tonight...
and it's for a worthy cause.
I promised to go and help out.
Maybe we could all go.
Wait just a minute. I'll ask Ann.
Ann, Morton has his cousin
from Georgia with him.
They want to take us to the dance tonight.
How about it?
- Oh, Ern, I don't think so. I'm not up to it.
- Oh, please, Ann.
If you don't go, I'll be stuck behind
the refreshment booth all night.
Please, Ann, for my sake.
Oh, all right. I guess so.
Morton, she said
she'd be delighted.
See you at 8:00.
- Golly, I got a million things to do.
- Ann.
- Are you sure you want to go?
- Of course. Why not?
Oh, you were planning to go out
with Mr. Harper tonight, weren't you?
That's all right.
It's Tom's night in.
Oh.
[ Doorbell Rings ]
- Oh! Good evening, Sam.
- Good evening. For you, Professor.
Thank you. Makes me feel
as if I were going to a dance too.
Everybody going to a dance?
Well, the older girls
and Frank.
Why don't we go too?
I feel great tonight--just like a kid.
[ Chuckling ]
Ah, Lillie, you look beautiful.
- Thank you.
- Come into the living room. I want to talk to you.
Uh, sit down.
You know me, Lillie. When I have
anything to say, I say it straight out.
- Yes?
- Well, uh--
- [ Doorbell Ringing ]
- What I was going to ask you--
Excuse me, Sam.
That must be someone calling
for the girls.
- Oh, hello, Morton.
- Good evening, Mrs. Gilbreth.
- This is my cousin, Franklin Dykes.
- How do you do?
- How do you do, ma'am?
- Won't you come in?
- Thank you.
- I'll tell the girls you're here.
Oh. Here they are.
- Hello, Morton.
- Good evening, Morton.
Hello, Ann. Hi, Ernestine.
I'd like you to meet my cousin,
Franklin Dykes.
How do you do, Miss Ann?
Well, I never expected to draw
anything like you.
- Morton, I'm real obliged to you.
- But-- But, Franklin--
It's all right, Morton.
When you come to Atlanta...
I just hope I can repay
your hospitality in kind.
But I doubt it.
Shall we go?
Come on, Morton.
Good night, Mother.
- Good night, dear.
- Don't you worry about a thing, Mrs. Gilbreth.
I'll take real good care
of your daughter.
- Good night, ma'am.
- Good night, sir.
[ Doorbell Ringing ]
How do you do? I'm Mr. Beasley.
I've come for Martha.
- Oh, won't you come in Mr. Beasley?
- Thank you.
I'll get her.
Oh, Frank, will you tell Martha
that Mr. Beasley is here?
- Martha, Bubber's here! Hi, Bubber.
- Thank you.
- Hi, Frank.
- Mother, this tie-- I can't get it straight.
Yes, dear. I'll try to fix it.
Lillie, what's going on?
I'll only be a minute, Sam.
Oh, uh, I'd like to present
Mr. Beasley. Mr. Harper.
How do you do, Mr. Beasley?
Good evening, everyone.
Hello, Bubber.
Hello, Martha.
It was so kind of you
to ask me to the dance.
That's okay.
Frank's taking my kid sister.
Come on. Let's go.
Good-bye, sir.
- Good-bye, Mr. Beasley.
- Good-bye, Mrs. Gilbreth.
- Good-bye, Mr. Beasley.
- Thanks, Mother. So long, everybody.
Good-bye, dear.
Was that Martha?
Yes. She's been practicing
all day how not to be an old maid.
- Won't you please sit down, Lillie?
- Yes, Sam.
You know, Lillie, I'm pretty well
fixed financially...
and I've got a lot of power.
But there's only one thing
that gives me a real kick these days.
[ Doorbell Ringing ]
Isn't there somebody else in the house
that can answer that?
No, Sam. I'm not very well
fixed financially.
[ Ringing Continues ]
- Evening, Mrs. Gilbreth.
- Good evening, Bob.
May I see Ann, please?
I'm afraid not.
She's gone out... with Ernestine.
Oh. Do you mind if I wait?
Of course not,
but it might be a while.
I'll wait.
You know Mr. Harper?
- Sure. Hello, Mr. Harper.
- Oh, hello.
Is he going to stay here?
Why don't we go out
someplace then?
Oh, no, I don't think so.
Thanks, anyway.
- Is there something on your mind, Bob?
- What?
- Is there something on your mind, Bob?
- What?
She asked if there was something
on your mind.
Oh, no, no.
I'm sorry, but it's just that
I have so much on my mind.
- I see.
- You do?
I'm leaving for Detroit.
That appointment
at the Detroit General Hospital?
Yes, it came through, and I have
to leave immediately. Tonight.
That's why I wanted to see Ann.
But Ann went dancing.
She won't be home--
Dancing?
I thought you said
she went out with Ernestine.
It was a double date.
She just did it to help Ernestine out...
so that Ernestine
would have an escort.
Oh. So now she's
helping Ernestine?
Well, the last time
I talked to her, she was helping you.
I suppose a year from now, she'll be
helping Martha or Frank or somebody else.
Is she ever gonna do
anything for herself?
What on earth
are you talking about?
It's ridiculous.
It's perfectly ridiculous.
I came here to tell her
that it's all right. I'll wait for her.
But I was just going soft-headed.
This isn't a family. Most families
only have two hands to hold you with.
This is an octopus,
holding on with every tentacle!
Maybe Ann is willing
to waste her life, but I'm not!
Good-bye, Mrs. Gilbreth.
Good-bye, Mr. Harper.
- [ Door Slams ]
- What the devil was that all about?
I'm not sure, but I have
a pretty good idea.
[ Up-TempoJazz ]
You know, Miss Ann, my mother always
wanted to have a large family too...
but all she ever had
was little old me.
- Gee, I hope nobody else cuts in on us.
- Me too.
You know, Martha, when Frank said he'd take
my sister to the dance if I'd take you...
I thought it was going
to be a terrible night.
- But it isn't. It's swell!
- Oh, it's swell for me too, Bubber.
Why, up till tonight,
I always wanted to be a boy.
[ Ends ]
- Thank you.
- Thank you, Morton.
If you don't mind, I think
I'd like to sit down.
Oh, sure.
- Can I get you some punch?
- No, thank you.
[ Drumroll ]
Ladies and gentlemen,
your attention, please.
We will now have the first event
in our dance contest-- the shag.
Choose your partners
for the shag contest.
- Ann, would you like--
- Come on, Ann. I'll show you
how they do it in Georgia.
[''Sweet Georgia Brown'']
Would you like
to enter the contest?
No, thank you, Morton.
You'll just lose with me.
- If you're sure you don't want to.
- Well, all right.
The worst they can do
is put us out.
- Put us out? I think we might win this contest.
- Really, Morton?
Certainly.Just watch us go.
- Frank--
- Mother. What are you doing here?
- Where's Ann?
- She's out there on the dance floor.
- I'll get her, Lillie.
- You can't do that. She's in a contest.
A contest?
But I have to talk to her.
Wait. I think one of the judges
is putting her out now.
- Oh, dear.
-Just a minute, Lillie.
Thank you.
Ann, your mother wants
to talk to you.
She's over there
by the refreshment booth.
Sir, I protest. This is the first dance contest
I ever lost in my whole life.
Well, you were doing
the Southern version.
That's not allowed in New Jersey.
- Mother, what is it?
- Come out here, Ann.
I've got to talk to you.
- I have a message for you from Bob.
- Did he call?
No. He came by and told me to tell you
he's leaving tonight for Detroit.
He got that appointment.
Oh, no.
Will you please tell me what happened
between you two?
What's this business about
your telling him you have to wait?
Why do you have to wait?
- And why is the Gilbreth family an octopus?
- Did Bob say that?
Yes.
Mother, it's just that you have
this wonderful opportunity to go to Purdue.
I ought to stay home so the others
can have the chance I've had.
Oh. And how long do you figure
that will take?
I don't know. Ayear, two.
Why not 1 5 or even 20?
By that time, we might have
Jane married off.
Or maybe she'll decide
never to get married...
and you'll both be old maids
and live with me forever.
Is that why I've kept
this family together--
so that I can have spinster daughters
around the house?
Is that why?
No. No.
- Is that a question or an answer?
- I don't know.
Well, I'll tell you.
What I've been working for
and hoping for and praying for...
is to have someone like Bob
love you and marry you.
Oh, Mother.
Now get down to that hospital
and catch him before he gets away.
- Bob!
- Listen, you. Both of you.
I'm not going to Detroit alone.
I'm not gonna let Ann sacrifice herself.
You'll just have to figure out some way
to get along without her. I can't!
- You can't?
- You're darn right I can't.
Well, what are you waiting for?
There she is. Take her.
- Everything's going to be all right, Sam.
- I'm glad that's settled.
- Now, Lillie--
- Mrs. Gilbreth, have you seen Ann anywhere?
I've been hunting high and low.
I have terrible news
for you, young man.
She just left for Detroit.
Detroit?
But that's in Michigan.
[ Chuckles ]
There's a man knows his geography.
Lillie, let's you and I
find someplace that's quiet.
- I have something I want to say to you.
- [ Drumroll ]
Ladies and gentlemen, please
get your partners for the waltz contest.
Oh, Sam, I feel like dancing.
Let's enter.
All right.
If that's what you want.
[ Waltz ]
You dance beautifully.
Oh, my feet!
And I felt like such a kid
when I came to see you tonight.
Lillie, do you have
many days like this?
All the time.
Pretty crowded life.
You haven't very much room
in it for, uh, anything else, have you?
No, Sam. I guess I haven't.
- Well, here we are.
- Yes.
- Oh, don't bother to get out, Sam.
- Thank you, Lillie.
Oh, Lillie.
Uh, keep this in memory
of Sam Harper...
the fellow who you won
a dance contest with.
- Thank you, Sam. Thank you for everything.
- [ Explosions ]
Good grief. Are those kids working
in the chemical laboratory at this hour?
I don't know. I'd better go find out.
Good night, Sam.
Good night, Lillie.
Good night.
- Home, Mr. Harper?
- Please.
[ Explosions ]
- Tom!
- I was sure I had that ''re-ceep'' right this time.
Tom, you're absolutely incorrigible.
Janey.!
Did that noise wake you up?
No.
Well, then, why are you crying?
I just want a drink of water.
Oh.
[ Man ]
Miss Jane Gilbreth.
- Congratulations,Jane.
- Thank you.
You're a great one,
I must say.
You work hard your whole life
to send your children through college...
and when that final great moment arrives,
you go to sleep.
I wasn't asleep, dear.
I was just thinking of someone
who loved us all very much...
and saying thank you.
I got teary
when you called me dearie
'Twas down where
the bluegrass grows
Your lips were
sweeter than julep
When you wore a tulip
And I wore a big, red rose
Bum, bum
When we walk along
Life's highway
Alma mater
Will walk along
With you