1
(slow music)
I caught you watching
me under the light
Can I be light
They say it's easy
To leave you behind
I don't want to try
Couldn't recall that day
All courage to project
Don't want to wait for you
Don't want to have to lose
All that I compromised
To feel a love that high
- I mean, come on, now, how old
is he?
- 20.
- He looks about 12.
- Well, he wasn't.
- Do you love him?
- Oh my god.
- Well, I had to say it
first, though, didn't I?
- I said it back very quickly.
- One of politeness.
What's your fantasy?
- What's my fantasy?
- Hence.
- I don't know, I'm just,
just happy to be alive.
- [Benjamin] No, no, that's too
dangerous.
- No, what's the, you want
me to dress up or something?
Maybe I could tie you to
a chair, what about that?
- Yeah, that's the
thing, like a kidnapper,
it would be like a kidnapper.
- And then what?
- Demand a ransom, call your
family and demand a ransom?
- You need to find some
way to get over yourself,
or you're gonna end up alone.
- I think,
I think I love you, it took a
while
because if we believe that
the self is an illusion--
- What does that mean?
- I don't know, that we're,
you know, it's physics.
- Okay, look, what do those
words mean?
And you put words to it, I mean,
like, I,
what is that supposed to be, I
mean, I--
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
listen, listen, listen,
- What I feel is that we are
love.
That's the thing, there's no
separation,
I'm you, you're me, I'm the the
table--
- Do you love the table, do you
love me more than the table,
or the same?
- It's all,
I don't know what I'm trying to
say.
- How about you just go fuck the
table?
- [Benjamin] What's wrong with
it?
- Nothing.
- Was it too funny?
- I don't think so.
- Would it be insane if I'd
made it black and white?
Where's he going?
(door slams)
Maybe we should just, or what
if,
I don't know.
- Ben, it's really good.
- Shouldn't I just keep one
of the scenes with the monk?
Just one, I feel like I've made
something
about a couple who don't get on.
- It's about a man who's so
defended
that he's incapable of love,
isn't it?
- Say that again?
- Look, what about if we just
looked
- We're picture locked,
why do we need a monk?
- I just don't know who
I am if this isn't good.
Maybe it's not as good, I
just want someone to say,
you've done a good thing,
now you can rest, just rest.
- Okay, why don't you come
and sit down for a minute?
Come on.
- [Benjamin] Maybe I could be a
farmer.
- Maybe.
- How is this, compared to--
- Don't do that.
Look, some people will quite
like it,
and other people won't be that
into it.
- And then, quite soon
enough, all of those people,
each and every one of
them, will die, won't they?
- All of them?
- We're all going to die.
- We're all going to die.
Is that better?
(slow piano music)
- Hello, baby.
(slow piano music)
(cat meows)
(slow piano music)
We're all right, aren't we?
(slow music)
- Everything is dominated by
one's self.
(slow music)
You are defined, not loved.
(slow music)
Then what?
(slow music)
To be awakened, to be free
is to see
there is no self.
Can we sit in meditation?
Find out
who we really are.
(slow music)
(cash register beeps)
(cashier mumbles)
- [Television] Get out of my
lighthouse,
TJ, show these people out.
(Benjamin retches)
- [Benjamin] Well, what do you
suggest?
(door buzzes)
Hello?
- [Benjamin] Yes, come on
up, Billy, yeah, come on.
(stove clicks)
(door knocks)
(door bangs)
Hi, come on in.
- Hi, Benjamin, I am so late.
- [Benjamin] No, no, no, you're
not late, come on in, hiya.
- God, you're quite far out,
aren't you?
I had to get the tube, which
was--
- [Benjamin] Well, thanks
for coming to meet,
it's great.
- Horrific.
- [Benjamin] Excuse me, Tim.
- No, god, no, I just
had a bit of an emergency
- Yeah, I thought something
smelled a bit odd.
- No, it's fine, it's not
overwhelming.
Is it a big cat?
Try one, try one with a smile.
- [Billy] Just try one, and
then you've got the choice.
- [Tim] Can you just pull that,
just pull that bit of hair down?
- I don't know, no, I don't
really--
- [Tim] Fuck it, all
right, okay, that then.
- [Billy] That's the, that's it.
- [Billy] No, what you just did.
- Okay.
- [Billy] But, like, that
expression, like, laugh,
laugh.
- Laugh?
- [Tim] Yeah, sort of nose up a
bit.
- [Tim] Yeah, yes, and the,
and the sort of window.
- [Billy] Can you, like,
your nostrils look quite big.
- I'm not, I mean, I'm not
flaring them.
And the other one down,
by, on your knee, yeah.
- [Tim] That's really
good, that's really good.
- Yeah.
Should we talk about the film,
just to--
- Yeah, and maybe that will,
cool.
I really just need, like, two
lines
for the top of the press
release.
Should we say
it's about an, I don't want to
say an abusive relationship,
would you say difficult?
- Well, I don't know, I think
maybe we should focus more
on the loss of self-esteem that
comes from being, you know.
- So loss of, loss of
self-esteem.
- [Billy] Loss of, loss of
self-esteem.
- Should we try and get some
with the award in the shot?
- Yes, yes.
- [Benjamin] Well, really?
to be like it was there's this
thing I won seven years ago--
- Couldn't we open a window?
It's been quite a while since
Happy came out, which I loved,
by the way,
as you know.
- Thank you.
- I guess people will want to
know why.
- Yeah, well, I think
it just took me a while
to come up with something I
wasn't,
I don't know, I think when
people say
that they like what you've done,
it's best to just stop doing it,
Ideally, I'd have just
made that film, and died.
Is that not a good answer?
- Should we just say
you're a perfectionist?
Ugh, do you know what, I'm
gonna have to get this,
I'm really sorry.
- That's okay.
- Martha, I'm in the cab right
now, yeah.
Sorry, he took longer than I
thought.
No, he was yesterday.
He lived alone.
Small.
Okay, yeah, all right, love you,
bye.
Do you know Martha Franklin?
- No, I don't really know
anyone.
- She's having a thing on
Friday to launch her new chairs,
you should come, I'll put your
name down.
I don't really like going
anywhere I haven't been before.
- Do you have any wine,
is it too early for wine?
- I don't really drink.
- What?
- Sorry, I don't know, would
you,
what about, do you want some
cocaine?
- Oh, no, no, no, sorry, I'm
joking,
I've got coconut water.
- [Stephen] It's a chair party?
- [Benjamin] It's the launch of
a chair.
(background noise drowns out
speaker)
- All right.
Pretty sure it's up here.
Ow, what are you doing?
- So frigid.
- So I'll start, you're
not allowed to touch me.
- No, please do not touch me.
(slow music)
- You go in, I'll--
- No, what, come on.
- [Stephen] It's a children's
party--
- Benjamin, you came.
- [Benjamin] Oh, yeah, of course
we did.
- [Stephen] We're in the past.
- [Benjamin] We're not in the
past.
- Hi, I'm Billy.
- Stephen.
- Stephen's a comedian.
- Oh--
- Really?
- I'm not funny.
- Okay, great, so it's all quite
arty,
and young in there, but
with such great (mumbles),
I don't think it's gonna be a
problem.
- [Harry] Oh (mumbles), Benji!
- [Benjamin] Harry, what are
you?
Oh, you made it.
(overlapping chatter)
Oh my god, you did a film
together.
- Hey, I like, I like your
clothes.
- Thank you, yeah, thank you.
- You know I invented Harry,
right?
- Oh, are you two--
- [Billy] What are you doing?
- Harry's not someone who
likes to define things,
or be specific about
words that mean things.
of the day, and go, there's
some table tennis tables
in my local park, and there's
a Sports Direct nearby,
why don't we just get some bats
and balls, and play table
tennis?
- Yeah.
- [Billy] Do you drink,
oh, no, of course not,
what about you, beer wine?
- I'm trying not to drink in a
week.
- [Billy] Why?
- [Stephen] Vodka coke?
- I'd really like that it's
not something you'd want
to sit on.
- Oh, thank you.
- [Billy] There's nothing I can
get you?
- Ben--
- Do they have water?
- [Man Wearing Hat] Hey, Billy.
- Oh, gosh, you're just, like,
(mumbles).
- [Billy] Try to be cool.
- Sorry.
(Stephen coughs)
- He has a cough.
- I'm fine.
(slow guitar music)
- What is it, what's happening?
Why be so shy
Come and swim in the park with
- [Benjamin] Who's that singer
man?
Can I watch you play, it's not
safe to
- Could I do anything to
make him want to be with me?
- Definitely say that to
him, maybe lose the coat.
It was really good to
see you, meet you, Henry.
- Stephen, I knew that, with a
V.
- P-H.
- Good for you.
And I don't want to
go if you don't come
I don't want to leave
you here with him
Don't make me go
But you're braver
than you think you are
I can meet the monster once a
week
Just you and me
- Can we, can we sit down
somewhere?
Only me
It's only now
All the time he'd
fade and die the light
You know there's
something that I'd like
- How old is he, do we think?
- I don't think we should dwell
on it.
- Okay.
- He's very good looking.
- Oh, god, he's ridiculous.
I should never have left the
flat.
That's just it, look, here it is
again,
the thin boy on stage.
- Yeah, you just like
people who are well-lit
and weak, don't you?
(slow music)
Oh, oh, oh, oh
- Maybe I should wait
until the film's out,
and I have some sort of success
again.
- Well, maybe you should
talk to him before,
just in case.
- That film's all I've got.
- Just go and speak to him.
- Will he laugh at me?
- No.
- Okay, come on.
I can be yours
- You go, I'll hold the fort.
- What fort are you holding?
Anything at all
I'd be your toy
I'm not the boy you think
you want in your life
I can be yours
I can be anything at all
Oh, oh, oh, oh
(Benjamin and Stephen clap)
Thank you.
- I think he looked at me.
- Are you sure it wasn't
the middle distance?
- Sure, it's okay, shh, shh,
shh.
He's just a person in a room.
- [Billy] What's your name?
- Yeah, I'm just trying to find
my breath.
- [Billy] So this is the
award-winning Benjamin Oliver,
this is the shockingly brilliant
Noah.
- Oh, Noah, like, Noah, hi, I'm
Benjamin.
- Hi, nice to meet you.
- Great gig, man.
- You're really good at
singing, congratulations.
- Thanks, it was kind of a mess,
but.
- No, you were very clean,
very tight, very solid.
And you're French, too,
that's exciting, isn't it?
- [Noah] Yeah, I suppose so.
- I'm a big fantastic of Les
Mis.
- Oh.
- Noah's studying music at
Guildhall.
- Oh, really, wow, that's
the good one, isn't it?
Have you had any drugs yet?
- You should come to a screening
- Oh, yes, I've made a
film, I'm a film person.
- My inability to love, but I'm
fine now,
and we're writing a
musical about depression.
Are you hungry, we should eat,
maybe,
rather than standing and
talking,
better to be sitting and eating,
right?
- I know a vegetarian place.
- [Benjamin] Oh, I'm vegan.
- We should get married, or for,
we could just eat some vegan
things.
- They have veggie dumplings.
- Well, we should get dumplings,
then,
you like dumplings, don't you?
- Yeah.
- Dumplings?
- I can't eat dumplings.
- Okay, I'll see if the band
will come?
- Oh, the band, they're a
relief, yeah.
- Okay, find you at the front?
- Yes, great news, dumplings.
- Oh, god. (laughs)
- Well, that was horrific.
- No, which was?
- Put your number in that.
- Okay.
(slow piano music)
- [Benjamin] Dumplings!
(overlapping quiet chatter)
- [Stephen] Well, that's
how you get dumplings.
(Benjamin laughs)
- Sorry, it's my laugh,
nothing can be done.
(slow piano music)
(overlapping quiet chatter)
- You should probably
talk to him at some point.
- I think we're fine, he
asked me about the asparagus.
I mean, he's just trying to make
friends.
- Maybe he just wants to
know more about asparagus.
I'm gonna go to the toilet,
and then I'm coming right back.
and then I'm gonna ask
him to move in with me.
- [Noah] Hey.
- Sorry, I was getting bothered
at the end of the table.
- Yeah, must be terrible down
there.
(Stephen's phone beeps)
- [Noah] So, (mumbles) to me.
- Oh, Stephen and I, we were
just talking about the lights.
- Actually, I'm gonna head off.
- Sorry, I can't, I'm just
tired, I'll get the next one.
- I'll look after him.
- Noah's looking after me.
- [Stephen] Make sure he
does a wee-wee before bed.
Stephen, we're just eating
dumplings.
- [Stephen] Okay.
(overlapping quiet chatter)
- So.
(Benjamin laughs)
Why are you laughing?
- I don't know.
Your band are so sweet.
- Yeah, they're cool.
- Yeah.
- They liked you.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Oh, that's very good.
All right, well, I guess we
better both go
to our respective homes, and
sleep, right?
- Yeah.
And how do I see your film?
- Oh, yes, yeah, I can sort that
out,
I know the people, it's in two
weeks.
Are you free, hopefully you'll
be free.
Should I give you my number?
- Yeah, sure.
- Okay.
Okay, should I say it
loud, or type it in, or?
- Oh, no, I don't have a pen,
just.
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.
- All right, right. (laughs
nervously)
All right, I think, I think
that's it, is that it?
- Yeah.
- Great.
- Perfect.
- Okay.
So should we hug?
- Sure.
- Okay.
Oh, and I (mumbles), by
the way, I was mesmerised.
- Be careful, there's, there's--
(car honks)
- Sorry.
(slow piano music)
(phone rings)
You missed me already?
I, yes, I'm, yeah, I just need
to figure out how to do that.
Where do you live, or do you
want,
I'm just getting off the bus.
(slow music)
- No, no, very badly, I can
juggle.
(cat meows)
- Oh, you have a cat.
- [Benjamin] Yes, here, have a
cat.
I don't really have anything,
do you want some water?
- Yeah, yeah, sure.
What is a Person, oh my
god, isn't it hard enough?
- Well, I haven't read that,
I just thought it was a good
question,
who are we, you know, who are
we.
- Yeah.
- [Benjamin] Do you want
to see a bit of the film?
- You can tell me if
you think it's any good.
- Okay.
(slow music)
- [Atticus] What's your fantasy?
- [Benjamin] Okay, all right,
then, right.
- [Atticus] Tell me what
you're gonna do to me.
- Oh, boy, I'm, maybe I'll upset
you.
- How?
- With my,
no, you can't talk, you're
not allowed to talk.
Maybe I should gag you, do I
have a gag?
- What happens if I talk?
- Oh my god.
- [Benjamin] No, sorry, I--
- I don't know who I'm supposed
to be.
- Hey, try to do a voice.
- Well, what voice should I do?
- Scottish.
- Here we are, then.
(Noah laughs)
- [Atticus] Okay, maybe
not an old woman, but.
- Stop saying, "Here we
are," we know where we are.
Would it be better if I tied you
up?
I'm gonna go, and I'm
gonna come back again.
- [Atticus] Okay.
- Hello.
(Noah laughs)
So, what do you think, funny,
sexy?
- Both, both.
You look kind of elfin.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Do you like elves?
Maybe we should kiss, is that
a good idea at this stage
in our lives?
- Are you okay?
- Sorry, I'm a child of divorce.
- I'm vegan, this is a dream.
Do you want to talk about the
divorce?
- Not really--
- I was 13.
- Do you know it wasn't your
fault?
(slow music)
- Where do you want me?
- Stop talking.
- Okay, I'll keep, keep talking,
no, no?
(slow music)
- Goodbye, I'm really
sorry, my mum's coming over,
so it's probably best if you're
not here
when she gets here, but
it was good to meet you.
- [Stephen] Sure, sure, well,
maybe it's time I met your
mother.
- [Stephen] No, I'll be quicker.
- [Stephen] That was,
that was a, that was.
What do you think about,
maybe we should,
would you like to get
some dinner sometime?
- What do you mean?
- Well, would you like
to have dinner with me?
- Oh my god, I'm still
seeing someone (mumbles)--
- Oh, right.
The actor?
- [Billy] Yeah.
Why won't that little shit text
me back?
- [Stephen] I'm sure he will.
- Cool, okay.
- [Stephen] I love you.
I don't, that was a joke.
- Yeah, I got it.
- [Stephen] Yeah.
- Should we maybe not
tell Benjamin about this,
just 'cause it's.
- It's probably not a good idea,
so.
- [Stephen] Yeah, good idea,
yeah.
Well, I'll miss you.
- Is that another one?
- [Stephen] Yeah.
- Cool.
See you.
(door slams)
(slow piano music)
- Hey.
- Hi.
Sorry, I was just staring at
you.
I'm Benjamin.
- Hi, Benjamin, I'm Noah.
- What about all that sex, huh?
(slow piano music)
What was that?
- Oh, I don't know.
I like your place, it's pretty
cool.
- [Benjamin] Is it?
- Yeah.
- [Benjamin] You can
take anything you want.
Do you want a piano, have a
piano.
Okay, this is a good porridge,
we're all gonna have a lovely
time.
What's your type, or what
do you usually go for?
- I always end up with geeks
like you.
- [Benjamin] Oh, good.
- [Noah] Shit.
- What happened?
- Oh, there was a manager at the
party,
he just said he doesn't want to
manage us.
- [Benjamin] Oh, who is this
guy, is he?
- He's quite a big deal.
- Well, I don't know if this is
helpful,
but external validation isn't
everything.
Like, what's, what's
important is that you know
that you're great.
- Yeah, that isn't helpful.
- Okay, I think you'll
get another manager.
- Yeah, sorry, I just, I just
don't want to go home yet.
- [Benjamin] Well, you won't,
you mustn't.
- Okay, listen--
- [Benjamin] Oh, no, I'll, what,
oh, you don't have to eat the
porridge,
I don't want to pressure
you into the porridge.
- No, no.
Is it, is it weird if
we carry on hanging out?
It's just that today--
- No, no, I've got nothing.
No, that's, yeah, go on, what,
what should we do with our
lives?
- We could, we could get some
mushrooms.
- Magic mushrooms, or just
mushrooms?
- Magic mushrooms.
- Yeah, that sounds, that sounds
fun,
let's get some of those
mushrooms.
- [Noah] Yeah?
- Cool, so we eat the porridge--
- Oh, fuck the porridge.
No, no, we'll eat the porridge.
- Okay.
(slow music)
Did you hear that?
- Oh, shit.
(Benjamin and Noah laugh)
That's, like, oh my god.
The continental breakfast thing,
I don't understand what that
means.
What does that, I mean.
What are, what are they trying
to suggest?
Oh my god, where's she
going, where's she going?
I'm gonna have to touch
your hair, is that okay?
(slow music)
- [Noah] Yeah.
- Oh my god.
(slow music)
- Yes, we will get water,
how will we do this?
(slow music)
Shop.
(slow music)
Okay, shh, shh.
(slow music)
- [Benjamin] You want those
ones?
- Yes.
(slow music)
- [Benjamin] Hey.
- Yeah, that sounds
reasonable, one pound 20.
(slow music)
There you are, money for the
water.
There's money for the water.
(laughs)
- Oh my god.
(slow music)
We can't go in shops.
- [Noah] You know, you are quite
funny.
- [Benjamin] Am I?
but then I lived with
someone who didn't laugh,
- [Noah] Why did you live
with someone who didn't laugh?
- [Benjamin] I don't know,
I thought it was better than
dying alone.
(Noah laughs)
(slow music)
Isn't it weird
Isn't it strange
Even though we're just
strangers
On this runaway train
We were trying to find
A place in the sun
But we lived in the
(horn honks)
(traffic rumbles)
- [Photographer] Over here.
(overlapping chatter)
To your left, yeah, (mumbles),
thanks, just smile, thanks.
- All right?
(overlapping chatter)
- Oh, hi, how are you?
- Yeah, I'm okay, thanks, yeah,
yeah.
Are you excited about the film?
- Why are you being weird?
- You didn't tell Ben, did you?
- 'Cause you know nothing's
gonna happen, right?
- Okay, well it was good to see
you.
- Okay.
- Now, you're being weird,
surely you can see that.
- Well, why, I haven't done
anything.
Can we start again?
I like your outfit.
- You're being really creepy.
- [Billy] Okay, so serious,
god, I was just saying.
- [Billy] Martha, yeah,
I'm in the cab now.
(overlapping chatter)
- What are you doing?
- Just have to meditate.
- Okay, come on now, time to be
someone
who can host a screening like a
big boy.
Ben, everyone has sat, you need
- I don't think we should have
put the monk scenes back in.
- Well, it's about to be
screened now, so we'll find out.
- [Benjamin] Oh, god, no.
- Tonight's film is the second
film
from Benjamin Oliver, starring
Benjamin Oliver himself,
alongside Harry Barrage.
Here to introduce the film,
please welcome Benjamin Oliver,
Tessa Houston, and Harry
Barrage.
(audience applauds)
- Hello, and thank you,
thank you all for coming.
So yeah, this is the, this
is the first time I've shown
this to anyone, so that's
exciting, right?
And hopefully, yeah, you'll all
like it,
so I can continue doing
this sort of thing.
Well, maybe we should watch it,
maybe we should just watch the
film,
and then you can all
write wonderful reviews,
I think it's all gonna be fine,
should we,
or does somebody else want to
talk?
Do, no, we should just
bring the lights down,
and we should watch it.
Oh, and have fun, everyone.
Yeah, yeah, good luck.
(background noise drowns out
speaker)
(audience applauds)
- What is it that you want?
To be free from problems, yes?
But only when you want nothing
will you have what you want.
Who is it?
What?
Who are you?
Who?
Who?
(slow orchestral music)
(audience applauds)
(overlapping chatter)
(overlapping chatter)
- [Benjamin] Shit.
(toilet flushes)
- Hey, I looked for you, are you
okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine, how are
they, how are they taking it,
are they happy?
- Yeah, I think so, yeah.
Listen, it was really
good, really interesting.
- God, did you hate it?
- Is the relationship over?
- What, no, okay, listen, maybe,
maybe it's better for
me to go so you can--
- No, no, no, no, it's very
important
that you come back with
me tonight, okay, come on.
(overlapping chatter)
- Hey, hey, (applauds) bravo,
bravo.
- [Benjamin] Thanks, it was
terrible?
- It was good, it was good,
I just had a couple talk
about your shot composition.
- It was fine.
- And here, what about the monk?
- See, I didn't, I wasn't--
- Okay, yeah, I think I'm gonna
go home
and try and cry, are
you gonna be okay here?
- [Benjamin] Maybe you
can go say hi to Billy.
- No, no, you go, I'm fine.
- Okay, just tell me, was it
really bad?
- It's.
(overlapping quiet chatter)
- Will you just say no, please?
- No.
- Hello, hugely talented,
multi-skilled wonder man.
- Oh, boy, really?
- Please, I mean, who has
a monk, you're so clever.
- I'm gonna get a drink.
- [Benjamin] Okay.
- Hello, beautiful Noah.
- So your Boyfriend's a bloody
genius.
- Oh, yeah.
(Harry whistles)
- What's up, maestro, this film.
Benjamin.
- [Benjamin] Harry.
- It's genuinely obscene.
Seriously, thank you.
Everyone here thinks what
you've done is profound.
- What, no, who, which, who--
- I cried.
- But you only watched the first
half.
- And I can't wait to
see what happens next.
Sorry, Martha was having a
crisis.
- Oh, yeah, Martha, with the
chairs.
Is there somewhere we can sit?
- [Stephen] Hey.
- [Harry] What the fuck,
man, what was that?
to be a playful, you know,
a knee behind the knee--
- [Harry] Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah,
- [Benjamin] This is
Stephen, he's very playful.
(Stephen mumbles)
- This is Noah, he's also a
delight.
- Just don't touch him--
- We have to go.
- [Stephen] Yeah.
- Oh my god, shut up, just shut
up.
- Nothing, it doesn't count, can
we go?
- What do you mean it doesn't
count?
- It was only for a minute.
- [Harry] What does that mean?
(laughs)
- Fuck's sake, it wasn't
a continuous in and out,
it was just an in, then an exit.
- Whoa, hang on--
- Nothing happened, okay, bye.
- It was normal, actually,
it was normal sex.
- I really need to--
I was going home, I wasn't
even--
- Excuse me, how old are you?
- How old are you, you're
a fucking psychopath.
- What do you want from me,
do you want me to dance,
huh, you want me to dance,
do you want to be sexy?
Will that put a smile on your
face,
a little dance, make it sexy--
- Stephen, Stephen, what are you
doing?
- I don't know.
- [Benjamin] You okay?
- Yeah.
- That was a very good dance.
- Thanks.
- [Benjamin] You okay?
- Yeah.
Go.
- [Benjamin] Okay.
(overlapping quiet chatter)
- [Noah] Hey, sorry, it
was crazy down there.
- Yeah, it was, wasn't it, are
you okay?
- Yeah, yeah, I just
wanted to say goodbye.
- Goodbye, why do you want to
say,
what, goodbye, that's
ridiculous.
- I have things to do tomorrow,
so--
- Yeah, I got things to
do tomorrow, I got things
to do, what, what is it?
- No, nothing.
- [Benjamin] No, go on, it's
okay, what,
what is there, or what is it?
- No, just, like,
maybe I'm, I'm not ready for,
like, a relationship, you know?
- Right, yeah.
- [Noah] Sorry.
- No, it's okay.
- But congratulations on
making your film, it's,
it's amazing, really.
- [Benjamin] Is it?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Cool, you have to go,
you have to get to bed.
- [Noah] Yeah.
- And sleep, but.
- Okay.
Thank you.
Okay.
Bye.
- [Benjamin] Bye.
(slow piano music)
- Which, on the one hand,
is this sort of nice,
interesting, lovely
kind of romantic comedy
about him and his
non-relationship
Harry Barrage, he's in the
new Piranoti film, Sibling.
But then, the other half of the
movie,
as implied by the title, No
Self,
is about the Buddhist idea of
the self being a projection
and an illusion to somehow
protect you from falling in
love.
the pretentious monk from a
film about this Buddhist, and,
but it has absolutely no place
being in this film at all.
And you think, why didn't
some producer just go,
enough with the monk, just do
the thing
that you did before, that you
can do,
less monk, we've had maximum
monk.
The reason I'm getting
slightly exasperated is
'cause I'm sort of disappointed,
because, you know, you see
somebody,
and you're a bit, like--
- He's let you down?
- He's let himself down, and the
whole--
- He's let everybody down,
(laughs)
I'm sorry, it's not funny,
actually, it's not funny.
(slow piano music)
(traffic rumbles)
- It's actually this way.
(overlapping quiet chatter)
(slow piano music)
(overlapping chatter)
- I could just say the
Southeast Asian archipelago.
(overlapping chatter)
You like that?
(overlapping chatter)
Okay, very good, is it Southeast
Asia?
- [Director] South Asia.
- [Director] Yeah, yeah,
yeah, and can I just have one,
- [Actor] Yeah, so this is the
first shot
where you've ever seen.
- So how's it looking?
- Well, it's all good.
- Tell me, what have you been up
to?
Oh, fantastic having a proper
project.
Lucy?
- Do you go to lunch, or a--
- Lucy, we need to start
shooting,
or we'll lose the children.
Sorry, sorry, I'm listening.
- No, I was just thinking,
I'm not sure exactly
what I want to do next,
and I just thought,
if you have anything coming up
that needed a director or
anything,
then I'm really up for doing
something
that doesn't come directly
out of my own pain.
- What is all this pain that
you're in,
Ben, I mean, are you really in
pain?
- [Benjamin] Oh, sorry, am I in
your seat?
- Yeah.
- [Benjamin] I'm sorry.
- Oh, no, oh, so sorry,
it's just a packed day.
- Yes.
this is all looking so
good, congratulations.
- [Danny] Oh, thanks.
- [Danny] Oh, you're
the competition winner?
- No, no, no, I'm no one.
Do you know what time it is, do
you--
- Oh, I'm so sorry we haven't
been able to speak properly.
- Oh, it's okay, sure, we'll
catch up whenever you're done
with all this?
- Yeah, I'd love that.
- Great.
- I'd love that.
Lovely to see you.
- Yes.
Okay.
- You know where you're going?
- Yeah.
Okay, bye.
- All right, bye bye.
- [Assistant] Can we have quiet,
please?
- [Benjamin] Oh, sorry, forgot
my bag.
- [Assistant] And let's turn
over.
(slow music)
Don't make me go
- Yeah, my name is Harry
Barrage, I'm an actor.
My favourite film from
childhood?
I would probably say The Parent
Trap.
- Like, my own idea
was, like, if there was,
say there's, like, a part, or a
character,
or something that you've
never got the chance to play,
and you'd love to play it, or,
like,
if there was a role that
you'd never been offered,
then I could probably write that
for you?
- Oh, tell Ben about your big
nude scene.
It's Harry's cinematic debut,
oh, apart from your film.
But does that count, I mean,
this is being released.
- I think it counts, but,
so what, you're a bit naked?
Or, like, the penis?
- Yeah.
- How do you, I mean, is that
okay,
'cause it's the character's
penis?
- Ben, I don't know if I should
say this,
it may be, like, insulting to
your craft.
- Oh, please, I'm, this is a
safe space.
- I'd really love us to
write something together.
so many standard,
mainstream bullshit scripts.
I love the way you don't
chase success, you know?
- And it would be so, like,
it would be so fucking cool
to create something with you
that's, like,
totally original, but,
like, not an easy watch.
- Yeah.
It can be quite intense writing
as a pair.
Like, I've actually been
writing something with Stephen,
a completely different--
- Who?
- My friend, Stephen, he--
- Oh my god, we never
talk about that again.
You slept with that idiot
dancer.
- She's not an idiot.
- It's just obvious.
God, Christ, can you take this
off me?
- Well, it would actually be
this funny--
- Yeah, yeah, 'cause he's so
funny.
- Do you have an idea for a
story?
- Well, I don't think we
should limit ourselves
to the idea of telling a story.
- [Billy] Okay, so you'll do it.
- [Benjamin] Well, I don't
know if I should commit
to anything right now.
- [Billy] Okay, who are you
texting?
- No one.
- [Billy] So weird.
(slow piano music)
- Wanting this, wanting that.
If you are expecting things,
make no mistake, you are a
puppet.
(slow piano music)
Many people, they search
their whole lives,
looking for a false
reputation, but finally,
there is obscurity,
and obscurity,
this is the best thing.
(slow piano music)
- [Benjamin] I don't know, is
there, is there a character?
Or something that you've got in
mind?
- I mean, I can see
maroon, for some reason.
- [Benjamin] The colour?
- Yeah.
- [Benjamin] Okay, um.
Maroon.
But,
like, if we were to say how we
imagined the film beginning,
or can you see that?
- Well, I think it's,
I don't think we should
be too literal about it.
- No, no.
Maybe we open on maroon.
- Hmm.
And there's a feeling in the
air,
of, is this blood?
- [Benjamin] Okay.
And,
it turns out to be?
- A coat.
Yeah.
- [Benjamin] Okay, great, yes,
and wearing the coat is you,
maybe?
- Yeah.
- [Benjamin] Okay, and
you, you're, what are you,
what are you doing?
- I'm asleep, I'm dreaming.
- [Benjamin] Okay, what
are you dreaming about?
- A swan.
- Okay.
Okay, and then,
sorry,
is there a particular kind
of message, or an idea--
- Could I sketch you?
- [Benjamin] Can you sketch me?
- Yeah.
- And you should take your top
off.
- Why, what do you?
How are my nipples, good
texture--
- Shh.
- What do you like to, to
paint most of the time, is it--
- It's difficult to talk about.
- All right.
But is it, is it usually people,
or fruit?
- Well, it's everything, you
know?
I mean, if you say, what do I
paint,
I would say feelings.
My paintings are kind of like my
journals,
so I can look by and say,
that's how I was feeling last
week.
- Oh.
How were you feeling last week?
- Well, I'd have to go in
the other room and look.
So, it's not completely
what I was trying to do.
- Oh, wow.
Wow, you, you made me sort of
attractive.
- You are attractive, seriously,
I find conventional beauty so
boring.
- Okay, then, should
we go back to work, or?
- And this is the work.
- Yes.
Should I draw you?
(Harry laughs)
- Okay, cool.
- Oh, wow, gosh, okay.
Is that the penis from the film?
- How are my nipples?
- Yep.
Hmm.
- You seen my bedroom yet?
- Do you have a bedroom?
(slow music)
Oh, sorry.
(slow music)
Maybe, oh.
- [Harry] You can write here, if
you want.
Let yourself out whenever, yeah?
- Okay, yeah.
I'll flesh it out a bit.
- You okay, you seemed a bit
distracted.
- Oh, no, no, I was,
I liked it, we did well.
What are we gonna say
to Billy about this--
- What do you mean?
- I mean, will we want
to do this again, or?
- I think it was
kind of an experiment, you know?
- Oh, good, what were the
results?
You let me know.
Okay, oh.
Okay.
(door slams)
(slow orchestral music)
(bell rings)
(overlapping chatter)
(slow violin music)
Hi.
Hi.
How are you?
- I'm good, I'm good.
- Good, is this a bit strange?
Was it a good day for music?
- Good, I was just wondering
if you might still be
in the business of being
interested in me?
by being a lunatic, and
I've sort of missed you.
- I missed you, too.
- Really, have you, how much?
- A bit.
- Like, maybe
we should just have fun?
Rather than anything more
formal, like,
maybe we should just be people,
should we just be people?
- Is that what you want?
- [Benjamin] Yeah, just
people.
- Okay, I think we can be
people.
- Great.
So what should we, or how should
we,
a handshake?
(slow piano music)
- Did you all sleep,
or maybe it's just the,
the beginning of a love story.
Yeah, and there was a
moustache, (mumbles).
(slow music)
- Oh, god.
(both laugh)
- Did I look cool?
- Yeah.
(both laugh)
(slow piano music)
Wait, where's D minor?
- Just move your first
finger down one key.
Yeah, yeah.
- Right there?
That's it?
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay, and so then.
(slow piano music)
That's B minor.
- Yeah.
- Okay, okay, right, this
is all making sense now.
- Okay, so play it again slowly,
and think of something sad.
(slow piano music)
Good.
(slow piano music)
Really good.
(slow piano music)
- Okay, now play a Vanessa
Carlton.
(slow piano music)
Amazing.
This is like what monkeys do.
- Shh.
- [Benjamin] Right?
- No talking in the bath.
- Is there a French word?
- [Noah] Don't speak.
- Okay.
Well, what are you doing?
- Shh.
- Oh, god, no, please, I don't
like this.
I don't like it.
- [Noah] Hey, it's okay.
Hello.
Would you like to be my
boyfriend?
(slow piano music)
What'd you just do?
(slow piano music)
(overlapping chatter)
(slow piano music)
- A funny place, don't mind,
but.
(audience laughs)
(overlapping quiet chatter)
Are you in show business,
get your foot off the stage.
Right.
(audience laughs)
Let's get the next one out,
shall we?
All right, tickled, thank god,
right.
Hey.
Nice socks.
Nice, you're not gonna need
those,
'cause this bloke is gonna laugh
them
straight off your feet.
Here we go, are you
ready for your next act?
(audience cheers)
He's a great friend of
mine, ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome Stephen Arnold,
come on.
(audience cheers)
(audience applauds)
- Hello, audience, how are you?
You like to laugh, huh?
(overlapping chatter)
I laughed so hard, some
milk came out of my nipples,
which was unexpected.
What about all this sexism,
right?
I mean, how is there any sexism
in the world when we
all come from a woman?
I mean, when do we begin to be
sexist,
are we just there in the womb,
being like,
but I think my dad would do a
better job.
(audience laughs)
Sorry, are you okay, is, oh,
right.
He's getting married.
(audience oohs)
Oh, there she is, wow,
round of applause for the,
for the future groom and bride.
Wow, congratulations.
(audience applauds)
You know, everything ends.
(audience laughs)
That's something you can count
on.
Any, any orphans in tonight?
No, see, that would be tough,
that must be really tough, but
I do think if my parents were
dead,
I'd find it a lot easier to kill
myself.
No, okay, show of hands,
who's father hit them?
No, come on, come on.
You guys know, no, man, Jesus.
- [Audience Member] Fuck off,
mate.
- Oh, this is, this is terrible.
Right.
No problem, no problem.
(audience gasps)
You know, actually, I think, I
think,
I think that's me, good night,
everyone.
Sorry,
did someone say encore?
- Are you all right?
- I don't know, I suppose.
Hey.
- Hey.
- [Benjamin] Hey.
- So that was great,
right, perfect date night.
- It was, it was very real.
- What did you think, Noah,
you're the voice of youth.
- I think it was funny, maybe
it was just the wrong crowd,
or, but it was good to see
you on stage, and perform.
- It's cool, it's cool, it was
cool.
- Please don't upset
Noah, he's very young.
- Well, what else would he be?
Hey, is this gonna be a film
soon, huh?
- Okay.
I think that we, maybe we need
to leave?
- But we'll come, we'll
come to the next gig.
- No, that was my last gig,
do you want me to sign any
autographs, or?
- So when's the next one?
- No, that's it, I've been doing
it
for eight years, I can't
write anything new,
all that's happening is I'm
just, just getting older.
Don't waste your life like us,
I don't know, this guy knows
what I'm talking about.
- Okay, I think maybe it's home
time,
but thank you for all of the
laughter.
We should just feel grateful
for the sperm, right?
Sorry, man.
Done with you, sorry.
Good night, everybody.
Drive safe.
(birds chirp)
(door knocks)
(birds chirp)
Hey.
- Oh my god, what happened?
Should I hold your arm?
- No, I'm okay, thank you.
- Okay.
Do you want to talk about it?
- I really can't.
- We could have a conversation.
- Why do you think this kind
of thing keeps happening?
- I don't know.
- Maybe you do.
- I don't.
- Well, okay--
- Don't talk about it, please,
bitch.
(Stephen cries)
I don't know.
It just, it just--
- Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, yes--
- It's.
- Yeah.
- Let it all out, that's
amazing.
(Stephen cries)
What's,
what should I, do you
want me to do something?
Like, what should I do, do
you want to make a list?
(Stephen sighs)
Do you want to hear my song?
- Sure.
I can't get out of bed
I can't get out of this bed
Why do I feel this way
Is it because of
Daddy
(Stephen laughs)
Yeah?
- Yep.
- There you go.
- It's good.
- It's pretty good, isn't it?
- It's good.
- Just came to me on the bus.
(Stephen laughs)
(slow piano music)
(moves into slow orchestral
music)
(audience applauds)
- Cheers.
(Benjamin claps)
(speaking in foreign language)
- Oh, it was so good, it
was so good, well done, oh.
(speaking in foreign language)
- [Adrienne] You played so
beautifully, it was lovely.
- Thank you, Mama.
- [Claude] And how is the band
doing?
- Good, good, we have a,
we have a gig tomorrow,
so it's good.
- [Claude] Have you found a way
to make any money with it?
- But, like, the band are
actually,
they're so, so good, I mean,
there was,
I actually saw the band before
we met,
so I knew nothing about him
beforehand,
so good, and then, and
then we met, and yeah,
you're so good, like, honestly.
Just a really talented bunch of
people.
- And you are so very
creative, aren't you?
Noah said that you write films?
- [Paul] Yeah.
- [Adrienne] Do you?
- Oh, yeah, he does.
- Yeah.
Oh my god.
Sorry.
- What is it?
- No, it's okay, it's cool--
- No, it's okay, it's
just that my ex is here,
it was just, it's, that's fine,
it's, it's fine, I mean, he's
fun.
This'll be fun for us, I can,
or maybe I should go over
and say hello before he sees me,
or maybe I should, Paul, hi.
- Hi.
- [Benjamin] How are you?
Are they new glasses?
- No.
- They're lovely, this is Noah,
and Adrienne and Claude, this is
Paul.
- [Adrienne] Hi, Paul.
- Hi.
- So is this, is this
you meeting the parents?
- A bit, we just saw, Noah
just graduated from Guildhall.
- Of course he did,
congratulations.
- Thanks.
- So what are you, how are you?
- Yeah, I'm fine, I heard you
wrote a film
about me and cast a white guy.
- The last film that I did,
it was about a relationship,
and it was slightly inspired by
Paul,
but it was mainly about me being
an idiot.
But, anyway, thank you, thanks,
Enrique.
Sorry, this is Enrique, Paul,
Paul, Enrique, Enrique, Paul.
What's going on, are you in
love?
- Am I in, am I in love?
- Have a breadstick, why
wouldn't you want a breadstick.
- 'Cause you're not really
offering me
- [Claude] Okay, well, boys,
it was lovely to meet you.
- Sorry, sorry, who are you?
- This is Claude, should we--
- I'm sorry, you write a film
about me,
and then you fuck the guy that
plays me,
- Okay, should we, can you take
(mumbles)?
- [Claude] I think that's
a really good idea.
- Okay, you need to chill out,
Claude.
Good luck, mate, hopefully
it won't be two years
followed by a shit film about
how much of a cunt you are.
- He's in fashion.
Paul.
What was that?
- What?
- Oh, oh, was that embarrassing?
Why do you surround yourself
with all these stupid children?
- Noah's French, I like him, I
like him.
- Oh, 'cause it's easy.
It's safe.
How long are you gonna keep
doing this?
- [Benjamin] I don't know.
- You're gonna end up alone,
you're gonna end up unhappy.
- I know this, I've written
this,
you're saying words I've
actually written.
- Because you're still
doing the same thing.
Have some pride in yourself,
what do you think I was
with you, it wasn't a fetish.
- [Benjamin] Well, how much
of that was about what I do?
- We were together two years,
your work isn't that good.
- Okay, I think I'm gonna go
back inside--
- But what are you gonna do,
Ben?
Are you gonna adopt him?
I just,
I just wanted to mean
something to you, that's all.
- What, I, you did, you did.
- Okay.
Do what you want,
it's not me who's never
gonna feel anything.
(silverware clinks)
- I'm back.
I think in the future
that'll all seem quite funny.
(slow piano music)
I think I'm gonna end up hurting
you.
- What do you mean?
Maybe I hurt you.
Hey, what happened?
You just had a bit of a shock,
yeah?
- Oh, god, please, don't
look so sad, I can't take it.
Please.
What can I do to make this not
so awful?
- Just talk to me, you know.
- [Benjamin] I'm sorry, I don't,
I can't.
- You can't what?
You want me to go?
- I don't know.
I don't know.
- You don't know?
Okay.
Okay.
- One way to be happy
is to enjoy being sad,
understand that.
(children shriek)
- [Announcer] A new contemporary
piece
by Anna Block called Womb.
(audience applauds)
(bell rings)
(slow ambient music)
(audience applauds)
- It was incredible.
(audience applauds)
- Yeah, man, that was great.
- Yeah, that made me
think about life and shit.
- Anna.
Fuck, that was amazing, I mean,
I--
- Thank you.
- You've met Ben, right?
- Hi, yeah, congratulations,
that was,
it was, how did you come up
with it, with all the paper?
- Just came together over the
year.
- Year, no, was that,
was that the last time
that you were doing it, or
will you need more paper?
- [Anna] That was it.
- Well, good, good, well,
otherwise,
that's a lot of paper
all the time, isn't it?
Like, where'd you get such big
paper?
- I'm sorry, I'm really
exhausted--
- Seriously, everything you
just did, it was the truth.
(Benjamin laughs)
- No, no, no, yeah, that's,
I know, yeah, the truth.
I'm laughing 'cause it's true.
- Okay, I'll see you later.
- Yeah.
That was so fucking rude.
- [Harry] I'm gonna go see if
she's okay.
- She's fine.
What are you doing?
- I think I'm gonna go--
- Don't leave me here on my own,
just stay here until
Harry gets back, okay?
- Okay.
- Do you hate me?
(slow music)
(Benjamin laughs)
- I've. (laughs)
It's a hedge.
Isn't it weird
Isn't it strange
Even though we're just
strangers
On this runaway train, we both
(Benjamin groans)
(Benjamin gasps and cries out)
- Who are you?
- Hello.
- [Cat] Who?
- Hello, Stephen's voicemail,
where are you, Stephen?
I think my hair is growing.
What are they gonna
say, they're gonna say,
you already got this cut last
week,
and now you're back again,
and now you're back.
Call me back, my hair is
growing.
(bird chirps)
(phone beeps)
- [Voicemail] Hey, you've got
Stephen,
please leave a message.
(slow music)
(phone beeps)
Hey, you've got Stephen,
please leave a message.
(phone beeps)
(slow music)
- [Benjamin] Stephen!
(door knocks)
Stephen!
(slow music)
- [Voicemail] Hey, you've got
Stephen,
please leave a message.
(slow music)
- Stephen!
Stephen!
(slow music)
(glass shatters)
Stephen!
Oh my god, oh my god, thank god.
- What the fuck are you doing?
- Why didn't you answer your
phone?
- [Stephen] I was in the shower.
- You can't have a bath?
- Because answer your phone
if you've got depression.
(Stephen laughs)
It's not funny.
Could you, could you just call
me first,
if you're ever thinking of doing
anything,
can you just call me,
and we'll discuss it?
- [Benjamin] Careful,
careful, there's glass.
- Are you okay?
- I broke your window.
- Yeah, I saw.
(Benjamin cries)
- Oh, what's happening to me,
ugh.
(Benjamin cries)
- Benjamin, you're a real boy.
- I'm a real boy?
- [Stephen] Yeah.
(Benjamin laughs)
(Stephen laughs)
(Benjamin whimpers)
- [Benjamin] Oh, shit.
- Do you--
- Oh, god.
I'm really sorry about the.
Oh, god.
- [Stephen] Okay, yeah, yeah.
(slow guitar music)
I still don't know
Oh, oh, oh
I still don't know
Who you thought I would be
Where did you go
Oh, oh, oh
When you were trying
to be here with me
And you know that you're safe
On your own
But you lost
Or were you lost with me, too
Are you longing to be scared
forever
Are you planning to meet
somebody new
If you feeling something,
say how you feel
You know it's safe to
let someone hold you
Let somebody make you cry
Let somebody ache for you
Are you longing to be scared
forever
Are you planning to meet
somebody new
If you feeling something,
say how you feel
You know it's safe to
let someone hold you
Are you longing to be scared
forever
Are you planning of
the meet somebody new
If you're feeling
something, say how you feel
You know it's safe to
let someone love you
(audience cheers)
(audience applauds)
(overlapping chatter)
- [Benjamin] Hi.
- Hi.
- You're really good at that,
you know?
- Thanks.
- [Benjamin] Shouldn't
you be very famous by now?
What's this manager doing?
- What are you doing here?
- I think I made a mistake.
Can we--
- I'm going home.
- Home?
Home home, when?
- [Noah] Tomorrow.
- Tomorrow?
You can't go tomorrow.
- Why?
Why wouldn't I?
- Do you want to move in with
me?
- I know, I'm sorry, I was
scared I wasn't capable of love,
which, I think was actually just
covering
the really scary thing,
which is that I love you.
- That's ridiculous.
- Can you stay another week,
maybe?
- No, I can't.
Come to Paris.
- Paris?
I can't move to Paris.
- [Noah] Why not?
- I've got a career,
like, where would I live,
who would I be in Paris?
Okay.
(slow music)
Fill your heart with love
today
Don't play the game of time
Things that happened in the
past
Just happened in your mind
Only in your mind
Forget your mind, and you'll
be free
The writing's on the wall
Free, yeah
And you can know it all
If you choose
Lovers never lose,
'cause they are free
Of thoughts impure
And of thoughts unkind
Gentleness
Clears the soul
Love the cleans the mind and
makes it
Free
I used to cry, now I
Shut my eyes, still I
Hear you cry
So I won't cry
I needed to hold me
Someone to fit me
I needed to keep you alive
And I don't want to
go if you don't come
I don't want to leave
you here with him
Don't make me go
And I don't want to go if you
don't go
I don't want to leave
you here with him
Don't make me go
But you're braver
than you think you are
I can meet the monster once a
week
Just you and me and I am all
you need
All I need
And I don't want to
go if you don't come
I don't want to leave
you here with him
Don't make me go
And I won't ever go if you
don't come
I won't ever leave you here
with him
Don't make me go, don't make
me go