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Berserker (1987)
Homer, hurry up!
I wanna take one last walk before pappy comes to pick us up. I keep telling you he isn't picking us up until Wednesday. Well, this is Wednesday. No, edna, this is Monday. Okay, Homer, just hurry. Remember when we came here 40 years ago? Uh-huh. Still the same, hasn't changed a bit. But we have, Edna. Only in appearances. I still love you as much as I did then. Me too. Silly. I mean, I love you too. Silly. I told you, we should have turned back there by the stream. Quiet, woman, you trying to say I didn't remember the way back to the tent? I been coming here for 40 years. I know the way back to the Sargant Place. I mean it's, it's. Oh Homer, Homer, I know it isn't that you can't remember. It's just that I am so scared. Oh, it's that way. Oh Josh, please turn it down. Come on, Kristi, be real, will ya? Hey Larry, let's go, dude! A week of freedom, I can't believe this, it's gonna be so good! Okay, well, let's make sure we got everything. Yeah. We got the sleeping bag. Pillows. Chips. What else did we bring? Beer. Pot. Come on, you fucking bookworm, the mountains await! Look, I didn't wanna go on this trip and I still don't. Come on, Kristi. No, let me out. Oh, come on. I want out! It'll be fun, we'll get out of the city. Ooh, fun. We'll go swimming, clean air, just ignore him! Okay. Okay? Okay. Let's go, cube, we're leaving without you! Hey Josh, cool it man, he's comin'! Okay. Hey! Larry! Hey, good to see ya'l heya, buddy. Smile! Hey, babe. What's with the books, dude? We're going camping. Hey, does he read to you while you hump? Oh, shut up, Josh. What are you gonna do, teach Smokey The Bear to read? Very funny, wise ass. These books happen to be about the area we're going to, the cultural implications, the history of the economy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, you guys ready in back? Guys? What the hell's he smoking? All right, goodbye people, goodbye smog, hello freedom! where are you headed what state of mind are you bound for tell me, where do you get it what do you sell at the dime store why do they always want more king king tell me how how did you get there I don't even remember tell me why why do they rush there their mind was only a member you've gotta love a member king king king king king hey gee, you're the chooser you choose the Lane that let you in but you you you're a loser you think it's down to you and them you know you're always gonna win king king king king king no, hey, it's not okay. get into your brain to mess with your mind your life is gritty and living is sad and whatever you do I won't make it bad you always seduce me, together are we you need me, you feed me, you mind alter me you take me and take surprise I knew it. I do not! We just stood there. Oh, Josh! Sick! Beer, give me a beer. Beer. Gotta keep the flow going, man. Yeah. the king king they all need you hey, this is interesting. but you are gonna neglect them Rainbow Valley is also known as little Norway because it was originally settled by Scandinavians, direct descendants of the Vikings. Really? Yeah. The Vikings, yeah, yeah, cool! It's a good band, that early '60s, they were great. Remember Erik The Red? He was great. king king yeah, Erik The Red, man... Erik The Red, Erik The Red. He was like six feet seven and he had red hair and he would shave part of it, so it was like really weird looking, and then he would get up the microphone and he'd stick it inside of his mouth ew. And then he'd start singing like aw, aw, yeah! Oh, my god, oh yeah that sounded great. king king uh-oh. Damn. Is it a cop? Stop, take that would you? No, just stop, that's pot! Just relax, relax. All right, just be cool, all right? Be cool. Just pretend like we're just driving. Pull over, pull over. Good afternoon, officer. Take this. What can we do for you, officer? Your driver's license? Sure. Registration? Yes, sir, right here in the glove box. No. Let me look in there. What's that? What's what? That book. Oh, it's a book about Rainbow Valley. Oh, yeah, yeah, I know that book. My cousin read it, says it's all about our ancestors. Hey, you're welcome to have it. Yeah, have it, yeah, you can have it. No. Yeah, take it. No, that's all right, my cousin got a copy. Well, that's great, officer. So, what seems to be the crime? You kids been drinkin'? No, no no no sir No, sir. No, sir. No, sir, uh-uh. No, sir. I suppose that beer can just flew outta this window all by itself about five miles back down the road, huh? Uh, yeah. Well, I can explain that. Okay. Yeah, my dad and his friends used the car last week, and we were just cleaning it out, and I threw the can out the window. Well son, this country isn't a garbage dump. We don't take kindly to littering up here. Every summer, you tourists come up here and treat it like you do the city. We don't like it. Yes, sir, I realize I was wrong, I'm sorry. Well, I'll let you go with an apology this time. Don't let it happen again. Yes, sir, thank you, sir. Kids going camping? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, watch yourself out there, wild animals out in them woods. We will, yeah. Yeah. Looks like you tangled with one yourself there. I got your wild animal. Shh, quiet. Did you see the way I handled that dude? No way he was gonna fuck with me, man! Right. Aw, right! Yeah, you were great. Right! No way he was gonna fuck with Mel you're out of your mind! No way! No way! No one's gonna fuck with you. Right. Josh, we should stop! Aw, don't worry about it. My dad and I been coming up here every summer for years, man, we practically own the place. Anyway, Old Pappy knows me. He'll come up and find us, it's no big deal. Hey, what the fuck, Josh! That's Pappy, that's Pappy. Yeah well, Pappy doesn't look so friendly. Oh, not to worry, man, he has known me since I was a little kid. He's known me since I was this high. Hey, Pappy! Pappy Nyquist! It's me, it's Josh. Josh Winter. Come on, man, you know me. My dad and I came up here for years, you know. We stayed at the Sargant Place. No, I don't know you. Okay, this is great. Well, we want the Sargant Place. You got a reservation? No, I don't have a reservation. I never needed a reservation! Why should I have one now! You got to have a reservation. Hey listen, old man, I just drove 75 miles, I been coming here for years! I'm hot, I'm tired, and I want a campsite, and I want one now! Heya, hey Josh, Josh! Relax. Good afternoon, sir, my name is Mike Stone. I am Pappy Nyquist. We're pleased to meet you. Using his charm again. My friends and I would like a campsite for about a week. We'll take anything you got. Yeah, well, I tell you what. Since you is such nice young man, so maybe we can work something out. But I put you up the Miller place, okay? We want the Sargant Place! Sargant Place is all ready rented. They had a reservation. The Miller place will be fine, how much? How long you gonna stay? About a week. $25. Great. No, no, young man, this is not the city. Here in the woods, we deal in cash, okay? Right, yeah. Here, Mike, you have enough? Another nice young man. Larry Fishman, sir. There you go. Ah, all right, now before you go out there, there's something I must tell you 'cause you are city people. When you are out there, don't litter. You throw something on the ground, you pick it up again. Right. And be careful out there because there is wild animals in those woods. Well, yeah, we will, thanks a lot. Ow, jeez! Can't even believe he didn't remember Mel oh, me either. Get over. That Josh Winter ain't never had no manners, even when he was yea high. stop tellin' me what you're gonna do about this stop tellin' me all about that 'cause I don't wanna hear it 'cause that ain't where it's at stop tellin' me how you're gonna change the world stop givin' me all of that crap you don't wanna do it ooh, you only wanna rap 'cause you're a cool dude you got your real antisocial side yeah, you're a cool dude a regular rabbity guy you're a cool dude you're such a cool dude you're just a cool, rude, drood, dude a cool dude stop feedin' me all of that fool about life stop givin' me all of your jive 'cause I don't wanna hear it I know what it takes to survive stop layin' all the guilt of the world on my head stop talkin' out the side of your mouth 'cause you ain't never down and out you don't know what you're talkin' about 'cause you're a cool dude you got your real antisocial side get on, cool dude regular rabbity guy you're just a cool dude you're such a cool dude you're a cool, rude, drood, dude a cool dude yeah, woo! stop tellin' me all about your phds stop hey, you guys, come on in! All right, it looks great! so don't go rolling me hey! Why not? beggin' me down on your knees 'cause you don't practice what you preach nah. you're just a social disease 'cause you're a cool dude you got your real antisocial side 'cause you're a cool dude a regular rabbity guy yes, you're a cool dude such a cool dude you're a cool, rude in the 10th century, Viking Marauders ruled the North Sea and ranged as far as the Mediterranean and North America. The Vikings were ferocious warriors. The most feared of these ancient pirates were those that not only fought with a blood lusting frenzy but were also known to eat the flesh of their human victims. They were called Berserkers. These Berserkers were used as the first line of assault in Viking raids. They wore bearskin robes, some with bear snout masks that they had killed with their own hands. These snout masks were the upper jaw of the bear with the canine teeth exposed, which they used to tear the flesh of their prey. These snout masks were strapped to the heads of these men, who because of their treatment, the vicious nature of the acts they committed and the sometimes drug-induced frenzy they were forced to endure, eventually went mad. When a berserk became too much for even their fellow Vikings to control, they would be kept in cages and fed raw meat, human and otherwise. When a raid was planned, they would be de-caged, chained and placed in the bow of the Viking boats. They would huddle down in their bearskin robes waiting for the boats to land. When the sound of the boat hitting the shore was heard, they would be released by their handlers. They'd leap out of the boat in a howling frenzy, attacking any living thing in their path, fight in a blood lusting frenzy until they finally fell down exhausted. Only after the Berserkers had completed this first assault would the other warriors join in the battle and mount cleanup operations, which included re-chaining their Berserkers who were often involved in eating their slaughtered prey. It is believed by many persons of Viking heritage that Berserkers who ate human flesh can never enjoy the forgiving peace of a restful death. They are forced to forever revisit the earth by possessing the body of a blood relative. It is said that living humans who are direct descendants of the Berserk will always be in danger of being possessed by them. This possession by the Berserk will cause the death of the possessed and ultimately, the extinction of the entire Berserker bloodline. Mike, it's me, come on, Mike! Mike, it's me! Hey, come on, man, enough's enough. Where'd you get that thing anyway? I don't know, I found it in the woods. Some cross country skier dropped it. It was a joke! It was a joke, come on. Yeah. Well, that's just the biggest scare, huh? Yeah. So, why don't you two kiss and make up? Oh, yeah, right. No more gags, all right? All right! Let's crash, I am beat. Check. Well now, Walt, maybe there's a checkmate, huh? Looks like you got me, cousin. What do you mean, I got you? When I didn't got you, huh? I been winning from you this game for 20 years. Hmm? 18 years ago. 18 years what? Grandpap died. No, no, no, grandad died 26 years ago. I wasn't there, I was in the old country. But when'd Uncle Sallanan die? Uncle Sallanan died 20 years ago. That's when you beat me. Maybe it was 18, no? I don't remember. You want a beer, Walt? Sure, why not? Hey Pappy, did a group of kids come through here today? Ya, ya, they was here, why? Aw, I stopped a pickup full of kids back down the road today, littering. Driver looked like he had a few. Ah, ya, I think I know the kid you mean. Nice-looking boy? Dark hair? Areal wise-ass punk, huh? Name of Josh Winter. Vinter? No, I don't think it started with a v. Walt, look at me. Watch my lips. Winter not Vinter. You know, wall, I worry about you. I think maybe you ought to see a doctor, you know, for the ears? Because lately I notice you don't always understand the words what people say. I worry about you too. 22 years in this country, you still can't speak the language. I speak english much more good than you, I'll bet. Josh Winter. Josh Winter, that's the one. Yep, that's the one. You know, I worry when I see those city kids come out here without somebody to watch over 'em. Where they camping out there tonight? Aw, I sent them over to the Miller place. Miller's? Pretty deep out in those woods, ain't it? No, not for Josh Winter. Nah, he's been coming up here ever since he was small child. Every year now until about maybe four, five years ago. Nah, he knows these woods good. You want another beer or what? No, here you can have this. I didn't touch it. I think maybe I'll ride out and take a look on 'em. You worry too much, Walt. It's been six years. Maybe, but I'll have a look anyway. Walt, you let me know next time you wanna get got on the chess game, okay? I will, Pappy. Have a good one. This place holds a lot of memories for me. My dad and I used to come up here. Ever since I was four or five years old, we come up here and go fishin' and campin', just relax. It's the only time I ever got to really know him. The rest of the year, he was a real bastard. And then he'd bring me up here and we'd leave the city and work, and he would just mellow out. Sounds like you miss him. Yeah, I never thought I would. But up here, I do. Why'd you stop coming up here? About six years ago, there was a rumor a little girl got mauled by bear. A bear? It turned out it was just a rumor. They found her body in the river a few weeks later, she was real torn up, but they figured that happened when she was washed down the rocks in the river. Right after that, dad took off for good. But five years later, I return with my faithful companions. It's too bad you couldn't get the Sargant Campground where your dad... Uh yeah, uh well, this place is fine, it really looks the same, really it's fine, it's fine. Well, Mr. Boy Scout, I've got a question for you. Shoot. Where does one, you know? You know. You know, yeah, you know. Well see, that could be a lot of things. That could be, you know, and then that could be you know. Oh, cut it out. You know what I mean. I think you find the nearest tree, Kris. Yeah, that's what I was afraid of. Hey, be careful, remember what happened to that little girl. You're very funny. I'm serious. Pappy! Pappy! Hey cousin, you there? Sure, who is out there? Oh, what the hell you doing here, Walt? It's gotta be goddamned near midnight! Come back from the Miller Place, out looking for those kids. There's nobody there. No? I looked all around the place, doesn't look like anybody's been there for a month or more. You sure you sent 'em out to the Miller Place? There's nowhere else they could have gone? Oh, wait, wait, wait, what a minute, I think I know what happened. You remember I tell you about that Josh Winter? How he used to be here before? He always stay at the Sargant Place. I'll bet he took those kids out there just 'cause I told him not to. I thought Homer and Edna Roberts were staying out the Sargant Place. Yeah, ya, ya, but you see, they never use the cabin, they is always putting up the tent, you know? What's tomorrow, is Wednesday? Yeah. Well, tomorrow morning early, I got to go out and bring them in back here. I tell you what, I look in the Sargant Cabin. I bet I find them kids there. All safe and snuggle, just like bugs, ya? I hope you're right. What do you mean, you hope I'm right? Of course I'm right, that's where they are! You go on home, you get some sleep, Walt. All right. Walt, is only a book. Yeah. Hey. Sorry, dude, I'm gettin' a little worried about Kristi. Mike, maybe we should go look for her. Oh, okay, Josh you hold the fort down, okay? Right. It's all right it's us. Oh, you guys. Oh, I'm sorry, oh after Larry and Josh's stories. Oh, I feel so stupid. Hey, I know what you mean, it's pretty freaky out here. I can't find my way back to the cabin. Well, if you head straight back that way, you'll be there in two minutes. Okay, well, what about you guys? Don't worry about us. Uh. We're just gonna take a little walk. Yeah, okay, okay. Hey man, turn it off! Fuck you, no. Please! I love you. I can't give a damn 'cause I feel down the musical bars hey, man, you got no right to do that! The hell he doesn't. I don't believe I did that. God, it's beautiful. Yeah. Mike, think everything'll be the same in 10 years? What do you mean? I don't know, just everything. This place, you, me, us? Maybe, if one of Larry's monsters doesn't get you! Mike, it's serious. I am. Seriously, my dear, I am being serious. I'll tell ya how serious I am. I am so serious. What's this? Shelly, Shelly! Shelly, Shelly! Shelly! Shelly! Shelly! Shelly, Shelly! Wake up, wake up, Larry. Come on shut up! Come on, wake up, man, this is serious! Come on! Let's go! Shelly! Shelly, please help me. Kris! Please, Shelly, I'm over here. Kris! Me. Kris! Oh my god! Oh god, what happened? Kris! Mike! Mike, Shelly! Mike! Mike! Mike! Kristi! Hey dude, where are you? Kristi, can you hear me? Mike! Josh? Josh, over here! Come on! Shelly, Shelly! Mike. Oh man, am I glad to see you guys. Where's Shelly? Whoa, let's go! Hey. Hey. Kristi! What could have? All right everyone, listen up. Listen up! You too, Mike! Now, whoever or whatever did this is probably still out here. We don't wanna end up like Kristi and Shelly, we gotta get back to the cabin and go for help. What about them? We'll send for them when we get help. No! Mike, we gotta be strong. Now, let's get outta here, we don't have much time. Mike, Larry. Yeah? I have no idea where we are. What? I thought you knew the way! This is great, Mr. Eagle Scout! Now, what the fuck are we gonna do! I'm sorry, man, it was the fog! Oh, come on! Guys! Dude! I'm sorry! Come on, the last thing we need to do right now is fight against each other. He's right, sorry Josh. Thanks, Larry. Let's keep movin'. Which way? We followed you this far. Okay, let's go this way. All right, Josh. Shit. What's the matter, we're almost there. No, we're not. What do you mean? My truck and stuff's not at the Miller Place. Huh? My truck's not at the Miller Place, it's at the Sargant Place. I don't get it. It's simple, we weren't at the Miller Place. I wanted to go to the Sargant Place, so. So? So I did, we were at the Sargant Place. Yeah, but the old man said there were campers there already. Yeah, and it didn't look like anybody'd been there. I hid their tent. So, that must mean... They aren't coming back. Let's get outta here. I may be crazy, but I think we're gettin' close. Let's go this way. Hey look, over there! Hey, stop! Stop! Hey, hey! Stop, stop, help! Help, stop! Help, stop! Let's follow those lights. Josh Winter! Josh! You in there, Josh? Where the hell are those kids? Ow! Damn, shit, oh damn it! Come on, Larry. Larry, listen to me now, you gotta try to walk. Come on, lift him. Okay, okay. Okay now, easy, up. Okay, okay, now, put your foot down. I can't. Walk! All right, try please. Please Larry, just try. Do it, try! I am, damnit, I can't! Okay, okay, let's sit him down. Okay, all right. Just leave me alone, man. It's broken. Oh god, what are we gonna do? I don't know, we can't just leave him here. Hey, this is it! This is what? This is the spot where Shelly and I made love. So? So, I know where we are. Are you sure? I'm positive. This is near where we met Kristi. Her body's what scared Shelly in the first place. Mike, do you know where the cabin is. I do. Okay, take Kathy, go there get my truck, and for god's sakes get help. What about you and Larry? We'll wait here for help. Here? We don't have any choice. Go. Go! You sure you'll be okay? Go! He's right, Kathy, it's the only thing we can do. Josh. Listen, I'm gonna send someone back for you as soon as I can, okay, don't worry. This is all gonna be over before you know it, okay? I love you. Oh god, I love you too. Let's go. Let's go! Okay. How you doin', big guy? Okay. Got anything in your books about this? Home, sweet home. There's somebody here! Hey! Hey! Help! Help! Hey! Hey! No one's here. I wonder whose truck this is. It's Pappy's. Well, where is he? Three guesses, the first two don't count. Larry? Yeah? Just want you to know that. Well, I just want you to know that. You know how I'm always fuckin' with ya and teasin' you about your books and all that stuff? Yeah. I don't mean anything by it, man, I just, sometimes I just get a little, I get jealous of you being so smart and all. Hey, Josh, it's all right. If you didn't give me a hard time, I'd think you didn't give a shit. Shit, Josh left the radio on. Oh, great! Hey, how about Pappy's? Let's try it. Keys, fuck! Mike, three-Wheeler. That's it. Kathy, really gonna have to travel, I think you better stay here. Come on, no, I'm coming with you! Look, we can't afford anther accident. Besides, I can drive faster with less weight. Go in the cabin, barricade the door, I'll send help. Man, normally this Berserker shit would drive me Berserk, but after our night, I'm ready to believe any of it. Ah, well the guys were real, but the curse is just a legend. So, what'd they look like? They wore bearskin robes. What was that? I didn't hear anything. Must be my imagination. Go on. They wore bear snout masks, with like tusks and... Wow, must be some wild parties. Jesus! No, no, please, no! No, stop! Yes, yes! Yeah! Yeah, come on, bear! Yeah, yeah, get him! Yeah, yeah! Come on, bear, yeah, yeah! Yeah! Yeah, come on, bear! What am I saying? Nice bear, good bear. Holy shit. We'll be back for you, Josh. take me back on the wings of a sweet dream take me back to a simpler time take me back to the young and the sweet things take me back, lord make her mine a jet plane over the high places Mike, is that you? Mike? No! Go away! take me back, Lord make her mine oh man, am I glad to see you. Please, got to get back to the Rainbow Campground. Kathy! Kathy, come on out, hey! Kathy! Larry! Larry? Larry! Yes, Kathy, Kathy! Larry! Larry! Larry! Larry! Oh, thank god! Oh, I thought I'd never see you again! You're alive! Where's Josh! He's alive, Berserker attacked him but the bear came and... Shh, oh no, no, no, shh. We'll talk about it later. I thought it was gonna get me, thought it was gonna get me. Just relax. It's okay, it's okay. Oh god, oh god! What's that? No, no, be still, be very still. Oh, oh my god! Oh my god! Shh, shh, no! No, no, shh! What, oh my god! Wait, wait. Oh, hurry, hurry! Hurry, come here! Hurry! Oh my god! Over there! Get him, he's in the bushes, hurry up! Hurry, hurry, shoot him, shoot him! Hurry, in the bushes, the bushes, hurry! Over there, shoot him! Shoot him! Shoot him! Hey Larry! Hey man, oh Mike buddy. Where's Josh? He's in the clearing, he's all right. He was attacked, but he's all right. Okay, you're gonna be okay. Here, put your arm around my neck. What should I do? Here, take his other arm, take it real slow. I got it. You're gonna be all right. Come on, come on, easy, man. It's all right. You'll be okay. This is Rainbow Valley Patrol requesting medical assistance. Code four, you copy? prisoner prisoner when I was 18, I knew what I'd be 'cause rock and roll was my destiny at least inside myself, my music was real deep within my musical dream all I wanna do is scream 'cause I'm the prisoner of rock and roll prisoner of rock and roll yes, I'm the prisoner of rock and roll and I won't be gettin' out of jail for a long, long time prisoner they told me it was nasty they screamed, it's too loud they locked me in but if I had a second chance I'd do it again I can take whatever they say I know I'm gonna break out some day 'cause I'm the prisoner of rock and roll prisoner of rock and roll yes, I'm the prisoner of rock and roll and I won't be gettin' out of jail for a long, long time prisoner prisoner prisoner when I'm set free, I will still be me everything I do full of intensity the world will become my musical dream |
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