Best F(r)iends: Volume 2 (2018)

1
You have no respect for me.
What are you talking about?
Nobody, no one will spoil
my birthday. No one.
I know everything.
- Like what?
- I know everything.
- You don't know shit.
- Let's start with this.
Who's Malmo?
Malmo?
I gave you everything!
A job, friendship, advice!
You didn't give me nothing!
Aah!
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna confront
this Malmo fuck.
And then I'm gonna deal
with Harvey after that.
I'm gonna do it the right way.
By that time,
it's gonna be too late.
All your money's gonna be gone.
I mean, this guy's stalking you.
You already know he's a psycho.
What we need to do
is come up with a plan.
Something... something
he can't catch on to.
If you remember, trust me.
Friendship before money.
Can you say that?
- Yeah.
- What?
Come on. "Trust me,
friendship before money."
- Yeah.
- Right.
Oh, what a day like today
Oh, how everything changed
I put a bowl of love
Out the back door
Ain't got??
Out there no more
Is there somebody out there
Waiting for me
I have a good story
for you, a familiar story.
One guy meet another
in a big city,
they have dreams.
But something changed.
Greed, hatred, jealousy.
You know this word,
Jon? Do you?
Come on, listen to me.
If you're gonna end it,
just do it!
All right? I'm not
playing this stupid game.
Sometimes in life we fall down.
I'm drowning,
but you left me, my friend.
And I wonder,
what will become of me?
Will I die alone?
You were my best friend,
and my worst friend.
Oh, what a day like today
Jon...
What the fuck did you do?
An ATM?
Are you kidding me?
It's not an ATM.
It's a fuckin' safe.
"It's a fuckin' safe."
Hurry up, Jon.
What are you doing?
Come on, get out of here.
Hurry up!
I'm trying to!
I thought you said
you saw him do that.
I did! I watched him
from right over there.
It doesn't matter.
How hard is it
to use a fucking key?
Are you kidding me
right now? Let's go!
Come on...
- Jon!
- Shit!
I got the wrong keys!
He's got two sets of keys.
- We gotta go back to the cliff.
- What do you mean?
It's the only way we'll get
this thing open.
- You didn't check it?
- No! I didn't check his keys
as he was falling off the cliff.
- Well, you should've--
- Wait! Wait.
You got the car jack
in the back, right?
Why don't we just take
the whole thing with us?
It's an ATM machine!
All right, just--
It's not even bolted.
Shut up!
It feels like there's
so much money in here.
It's gonna hurt your back.
I am so tired.
I can barely keep my eyes open.
We're still eight hours away.
That's fine, let me drive.
I'm not-I'm not tired at all.
What's that? Is
everything all right?
Yeah... it's probably just my
boss, wondering where I'm at.
Probably thinks
something happened to me.
Let's get back on the road. I don't
feel comfortable just sitting out here.
We're fine. We're
in the middle of nowhere.
What highway are we on, anyway?
We should be on the 8.
I know where I'm going.
- I got this..
- Shit.
Just let me
handle it. I got it.
Shit.
He's coming up.
Fuck!
Evening!
Hey, officer.
How you doing?
Everything okay in here?
Yeah, you know, I just...
I pulled over 'cause I was
starting to get a little bit tired.
I noticed. I saw you
swerving back there,
- in Yuma highway.
- Yeah.
I recognized the worm
on the back of your car.
- Tags are expired.
- What? Really?
Nine months past due.
My God.
I'm so sorry. I'm so bad
about getting these things done.
- I'll get it fixed
first thing in the morning.
May I see your license
and registration, please?
Yeah, sure. Jon?
- Can you get that?
- Yeah. Yeah.
There's an...
owner's manual...
This is really embarrassing.
I moved the paperwork out and
placed it into my other purse,
and we're going through
this move,
so you know how things
can kind of get jumbled up?
Your license as well?
Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Sorry.
Yeah...
Here you go.
Where are you headin'?
We're headin' up toward
Colorado, Estes Park?
You guys coming from Mexico?
No, officer, no.
No, not Mexico.
What do you guys got back there?
Just packing stuff.
We got a call-- Border
Patrol gave us a call
about a minivan
fitting your description.
A little suspicious.
Possible smuggling.
Officer, I already told you.
We're just on our way
to Colorado
with a bunch
of our moving stuff.
Let's take a look.
Please open your vehicle.
No.
Excuse me?
According to Arizona state
law, you need my consent,
or a warrant in order
to search a vehicle.
Now, I'm willing to accept
a violation for expired tags,
but that doesn't give you
a valid reason
or probable cause
to search my vehicle.
Well, you said it yourself.
Probable cause.
No, I'd consider it harassment.
Okay, Judge Judy.
We'll have it your way.
You two sit tight.
Holy fuck! Why didn't you
just let him see it?
Just tell him it's a
collector's item or something.
I'll let you off with a warning.
You need to get off my highway
with these expired tags.
There's a bed and breakfast
up the road.
Oak Bar.
Get this taken care of
first thing.
You two have a good night.
Shit! That was close.
Glad we got out of that.
What do you want to do?
Well, let's get off
the highway, all right?
If we get pulled over, we're
fucked, we lose everything.
I don't really want to
stay out here, do you?
Look, it's a mile away.
Hello?
Can I help you with something?
Um... we're just looking
for a room for the night.
Um, I'm sorry, but you know,
this is an exclusive residence,
it's a private retreat,
people book this place
five months in advance,
so I don't think
we're going to be able
to find anything
to accommodate you.
I don't know what else
to tell you.
Just one night, a few hours.
Okay, all right.
Listen.
Just hold on a minute.
Let me check something,
and I'll be right back.
So here we are.
The Night Owl suite.
Wait, I'm-- I'm
forgetting something.
I didn't tell you that breakfast
is served tomorrow
6:00 to 9:00,
and it's tea and crumpets,
English style.
You will be joining us, right?
Actually, no.
We're gonna head out
early in the morning.
Yeah, we just got
to hit the road,
you know, get an early start?
Guess you're gonna
be needing these.
Just make sure you sign the
guest book before you leave....
bitches.
I think we got
enough to get to Colorado.
All right? Tomorrow morning we
find a pickup truck or something,
ditch the van...
I think we'll be fine.
What?
Tomorrow morning.
Just get a different car,
get out of here.
I really need to get
some fresh air.
What's wrong?
Yeah, and then the cop
just showed up.
Nothing's going to plan
and I kind of need your help.
Calm down.
Jon, when you end up in jail,
I will not rescue you, okay?
The only thing what I can do,
I can send you a few oranges.
Tu comprends la vie?
Mark my words, it will not
end up well for you. Okay?
I have a feeling
that cop's gonna come back.
I really think we need
to get out of here.
We can't get out of here.
We have the van.
We have to wait
till the morning.
I made a phone call, so
someone's on the way to get us.
You called somebody
to come here?
Why would you do that?
That's a terrible idea!
You need to chill out.
This is the best bet we have.
How are you gonna explain this
ATM in the back of your van?
Like your creepy friend said,
it's a collector's item.
That's all it is.
A safe.
Who'd you call?
It's my uncle.
I was so worried about you.
I'm glad you're okay.
Give me a hug.
Goddamn, it's good
to see you, lil' darling.
You must be Jon.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
Now I know you're in a
little bit of trouble,
but I'm here
to get you out of it.
Holy shit!
You weren't kidding!
You really do need my help.
Where the hell
did you get this thing?
Hey, nothing
like mobile banking?
Wow.
This is gonna be fun.
So what brings you out
to Tucson, darling?
We're just on our way
to Colorado.
Colorado... you know,
I just got back
from a road trip there
a few weeks back,
by Harley? God dammit,
it was great!
Beautiful country.
Man of few words, amigo?
I like him that way.
No, he's just a little bit shy.
We appreciate your help.
Yeah, well, you can
thank me later.
Now the week before that,
I had a date with a big woman.
I mean big, big, big, gosh!
She was big, and it was
like a wrestling match,
like, "Who's gonna take who?"
I was like, "what the heck?"
You know, and I hung in there,
manned up, I took her down...
We had a great time.
That was fun.
I gotta tell you, every once in a while
you just gotta go for that kind of stuff!
You know what I'm saying, Jon?
You know what I'm saying.
Good-- good times.
It's good to see you.
How far is the ranch from here?
The ranch's about
an hour and a half.
We'll get there in no time.
You all look a little bit tired.
You know what? It's okay,
take a little catnap.
Relax. I got this.
Sometimes life gives you lemons.
You need to make little drink.
Cut the fuckin' bullshit,
all right? Who's Malmo?
Jon, you never change!
I'm trying
to teach you something.
And you ruin everything.
Where'd all
the fuckin' money go?
This
was done not for money, Jon,
but for friendship.
To teach one friend about life.
You sold our fuckin' friendship!
You stole my whole goddamn idea.
You will learn today, my friend,
you cannot buy
or sell friendship.
Or loyalty. You cannot.
I know you have
secrets too, Jon.
Like your bloody t-shirt.
When we first met, I knew.
But we'll get to that.
We'll get to the truth.
All the truth, Jon.
Come on in, sit down, relax.
Make yourselves at home.
Hey, there's food in the fridge.
I'm not gonna fuckin'
babysit you.
You guys are gonna
have to hang tight...
while I get a little workout in.
A midnight pump.
Get that look out
of your eye, Jon.
Not for you.
So Uncle Rick,
do you think you can
open the safe for us?
'Cause he lost the key,
and we really need to get in.
How the hell'd you fuck that up?
You know, she's not
gonna put up with that shit.
He's just a little
unorganized sometimes,
my little bo-bo.
Sorry for the inconvenience,
sir.
It's Rick.
What the hell's
in your safe, anyway?
Let me guess:
satin bra and panties?
No, I'm trying to get
into Colorado State
and I left my-- I left
my transfer records in there,
I got a big meeting,
actually, on Monday,
so I'm hoping to get in...
For what?
I'm trying to study...
um, bakery science.
Bakery science.
Holy shit! I-- I've never
heard that one before.
I mean, for a minute I thought
you were gonna say for football.
In which case, I was gonna tell
you you need to hit the pull-up bar
just a little bit more
there, pal.
Unless you want to be a kicker.
You know, back in the day--
- What?
- Really?
Not the story, not right now.
- Look...
- Don't...
1986, Fiesta Bowl.
National TV.
About an hour from here,
Sun Devil Stadium.
It's 10 seconds left, 4th
and one at the goal line.
I-- I'm gonna run
a quarterback sneak,
and this dickhead, Switzer,
jumps off sides, takes me
down with a cheap shot...
and blows out my ACL.
Can we get back
to Jon's problem here?
- Yeah, yeah... I'm sorry.
- About the safe?
You know, I might be able to just rip
that thing open with my bare hands.
You know, I once wrestled a
gator down in the Manchac swamp.
And I kicked his ass, or his tail,
or whatever you want to call it,
but I came out without a scratch.
That doesn't work,
I got a Manchin garage in
the back here, full of tools.
First thing in the morning,
I'll crack that thing open,
you guys will be
on your way. Promise.
Thank you, sir.
Sorry, I mean Rick.
And you know, I'd love--
love to hear
more of your stories,
they sound really-- really fun.
No problem there, buddy,
I got you covered with those.
On that note, I'm gonna
show him the backyard.
Go on, guys.
Make yourselves at home.
I'm gonna sit back, get drunk...
well, drunker,
watch a little football.
Hey, go on up, really.
Have some tequila, chill...
You know, go take
your Snapchats,
or whatever the hell
you guys do.
Watch out for the rattlers.
And I got a cougar stalking me.
She lives next door.
Yeah...
Cute, though.
Are you trying
to make me look bad?
Bakery science? Really? Where
in the hell'd that come from?
I just tried to come up with
some shit, I don't know...
- Weird.
- It was your terrible idea to come here.
Come on, your uncle, he's
not gonna fall for this.
You didn't tell me your
uncle was Clint Eastwood.
Look, Jon, I know
where your head's at.
Okay? It was
an accident.
If the roles were reversed,
he wouldn't have cared.
I just-- I just wish I'd
confronted him one more time.
- He wouldn't have listened.
- No, maybe he would have.
Look... by the time
anything's discovered,
okay, we're gonna be
all the way in Colorado.
It's not even gonna matter.
Is this really worse...
than going back
to having nothing?
Well, he was my best friend.
I mean, he's all I had.
He was my only friend.
He was not your best friend!
He wasn't even a friend!
How can you not see that? He
was blatantly ripping you off.
I know, I know,
I got it, all right?
Look, I just-- I need
some time alone.
It's not-- it's
not you, it's me.
Guess what? We're
in a dark room, Jon,
and we are the light.
Are you okay?
What's wrong?
Yeah, I killed
that one by accident.
Hey, I'm not interrupting, am I?
- No, not at all.
- Good.
Hey, I mixed you up
a little nightcap.
Call it "Mother's Milk."
Put a little lead
in your pencil.
Okay.
You'll sleep like a baby.
It's better if you
do it in one big shot.
There you go.
Well, listen, um...
get some sleep.
I'll see you guys
in the morning.
Good night.
You know, you had a long day.
Why don't you get some rest?
I'm gonna go watch some TV with
Uncle Rick for a little bit.
- All right.
- All right?
Good luck
at Colorado State, Jon.
I got your ATM, cracked
wide fuckin' open for you.
Got your transfer papers
on the kitchen table.
You're gonna make
one hell of a baker
with all that dough in there.
What did I teach you?
Friendship before money, Jon.
You never learn.
I warned you to listen.
They're coming after you now.
Soon, everybody in the world
will know what you did.
Do you feel evil, Jon?
Do you?!
You drive me crazy, Jon!
Evil man!
Burn in hell!
Hey, you up?
I really wanted
to let you sleep in,
but Rick's been at it all night, and
he still can't get that safe open.
No dice, amigo.
Where the hell did you
get this box?
My-my friend gave it to me.
You know, he said I
could use it as a safe.
And then it just--
It's just a novelty thing,
right?
Yeah.
All right, come here, look.
It's got two locks, right?
But in between the two, there's
some kind of electronic barrier.
I mean, this is aftermarket.
It's black market, I don't
know what the fuck it is,
but it's being a bitch to open.
Kinda like a few
of the women I dated.
When the hell's the last time
you opened it?
Rick.
- He doesn't know. Leave him alone.
- He doesn't know?
- No.
- All right.
All right, I'll keep busy.
You're dead.
- Hey, Rick?
- Yeah?
You got a computer I can use?
Yeah, it's in the office.
Guest passcode is FU1986.
- FU?
- Yeah, you know, fuck you.
Okay.
Jon, what are you doing?
I need to find out
who that guy was.
- And we really need to get going.
- The guy at Harvey's shed
he was giving money to.
I need to find out who he was.
Well, I got it.
- You got in?
- No.
But I got an idea.
Look, I'm thinking Tombstone.
I know this old bastard
up there, Doc Seagar.
He can open up
just about anything.
It's gonna cost you
a little bit,
but... I think it's
our best bet.
- It's worth a shot.
- Yeah. Sure.
All right.
All right, Traci. Run on
in there and get the ball rolling.
Why me?
Well... Doc Seagar,
he likes beautiful women.
You know, it ups our chances
he might give you a better deal.
Yeah, okay.
Whatever.
Attagirl.
Thanks.
- Hey, Trace?
- Yeah?
Don't tell him it's
an ATM, all right?
- Let me do all the explaining.
- Okay.
Hello?
How long you've been seeing her?
A few months now.
Few months? Hell, that
explains everything.
Your dick's been
pink steel 24/7, right?
And let me guess, you run out,
get yourself a little
engagement ring,
and like a knucklehead
you throw it in the safe,
lose the key,
here you are. Right?
Hey, there. What can I
do you for, miss?
I have a safe that
I need help opening.
You look familiar.
You used to have
different hair or something.
- You from around here?
- No.
I'm from out of town, so you
must be thinking of someone else.
Right...
Well, you know
what model the safe is?
I think it's best
we bring it in here.
Here?
No. Not here.
Dad doesn't like any hanky-panky
going on in the shop.
Doc's orders.
Doc Seagar knows my uncle.
Rick Stanton?
How about you? What
are you doing for work?
Well, I'm not doing
any male stripping,
if that's what you
were hoping for.
Hell, I run
my own construction company.
I mean, how else do you think
I know dirtbags like this guy?
Now you listen here.
No sticky Stanton,
no extracurricular activities.
That stuff doesn't
go on in here.
Dad prefers a private location.
Okay.
When's the soonest
you can come out?
- Out where?
- To our ranch.
- Soon as today, if the money's
right. -00 p.m., I reckon.
Just jot down your information
here and fork over some cash.
If you need an ATM,
there's one in town.
It's not an issue.
Just be there at 4:00.
Right.
Hey, Uncle Rick, how you doin'?
We need your help.
We lost the key.
It's just a little safe.
You can open up that.
This whole thing's starting
to smell like shit.
Jon...
You're lying to yourself.
You cannot handle truth.
Can you fuckin' take
that thing off?
You know why I make
this mask of you, Jon?
We both have something
in common, Jon.
We both survived scary fall.
You never tell me
about your fall.
When exactly did you
lose your mom? Remember?
You are flying, Jon.
What were you feeling?
Yeah, I see you as a lemon, man.
You were saved
by the little tree...
Why you trying
to destroy yourself, Jon?
Do you realize how dangerous
lack of human connection,
friendship, can be?
You surround yourself
with strange people,
wrong vibration. Heh.
Yeah... Tell me about it.
Doc Seagar, the living legend.
How are you?
Not an easy place to find.
- Are you on foot?
- Always.
Listen, kids here,
they're from out of town.
They've got a little problem.
Young lady tells me you've got
something giving you trouble.
That's right. We've got
a box that needs opening.
Come on over, I'll show you.
Hey, look!
It's my ex wife.
She had all the money.
An ATM. What fun!
- What's in it?
- Just some of my school documents.
Well, you're a smart
little bastard, aren't you?
- I don't know about this one.
- I don't either.
Let me check the serial number.
Does this have
a memory device in it?
I have no idea.
You know, Doc and I here,
we share the same girl
down at the massage parlor.
He goes first,
I get the happy ending.
An old ATM model.
Something's not right.
Serial number only
has nine digits.
Where'd you get this baby?
Beats me.
Elaborate little setup,
double locks.
You don't have a key
for either, I presume?
- You know, look,
we're in a bit of a rush here,
we don't have time for 20
questions, we just want it opened.
Well, maybe you should find
yourself another locksmith, then,
one that doesn't mind
messing with a stolen ATM.
It's not stolen.
You're the dudes who knocked off Gus'
Liquor the other night, aren't you?
For fuck's sake!
Maybe you'd like to explain the
situation to the Pima County Sheriff.
I'll get him on the line
for you.
God dammit, Doc!
You know what? Could you
just help us out here?
I mean, nobody likes a box they can't
open any more than I do, all right?
The kids here, they
don't want any trouble.
You're talkin' to me
like you know me.
Let's cut the bullshit.
I can open this thing
but it is going to cost you.
Um, here. We don't
want any trouble.
That's fuckin' chump change! I'm
naming the price for this thing.
Christ! You're
just opening up a lock.
But first things first.
I'm gonna have to have
a whisky over ice.
Gotta unwind from my walk.
I'll open this thing for you,
but after I finish my drink.
Man, we'll get right on it.
Come on, guys.
I oughta stir this thing
with my dick.
How far are you willing to go
trying to get this thing open?
You got another grand?
You got that kind of coin?
Let's just do what we gotta do.
All right? Let's
just get it open.
Vinny! Vinny!
You gotta get your ass
over here A.S.A.P.
We got ourselves a golden goose!
Yeah, Sticky Stanton's!
All right, get over here!
It's not just college transfer
papers in there, is it?
Look, I don't give
a shit what's in it,
I just wanna help you guys
get it open, all right?
Let's go.
I feel like kicking him
right in the pussy.
Let the good times roll!
- Here you go.
- Let the fun begin!
Look, we're gonna give you
an added bonus of $1,000
if you can crack it open
within the hour.
No, no, no no, no!
This is gonna take
way more than an hour.
We have to give this
the nitric acid treatment.
You just plan to
chill out for a while.
Nitric acid?
Well, shucks.
How about I make it 1,500?
You guys are awfully anxious
to get in there
for just a few papers.
Value's written
all over your faces.
You're gonna have to lay
25 grand on me,
or this thing is toast.
You know what?
I'm sick of your shit.
I'm tired of you
blackmailing us.
Give us our money back,
and I want your shriveled,
geriatric ass
off my fucking property.
You know, I called
a friend over.
I hope you don't mind.
- Fuck...
- Hand it over.
Hand it over!
Get over here, against the wall.
Come on!
Get the fuck over here!
Faster! Come on!
And here he comes.
Get back against the wall!
Fucker!
Eyes forward, come on!
What the fuck is this party?
Yeah, they brought me
this stolen ATM.
I can't get it open, they
won't tell me what's in it.
But I bet you it is
a king's ransom!
- Whose fuckin' safe is this?
- It's mine.
Why are you being a little bitch
and giving Doc here a hard time?
Look, hombre, we just want the
damn thing open, all right?
I just got some tools
in there, that's it.
We just need your--
Now it's tools you got in there.
See that, chica?
Do you remember me?
What's your name?
Um... I'm Miranda.
I noticed right away.
Your eyes...
You're the one.
Hey, lay off the girl.
Doc...
- it's her.
- I don't know you.
- It's her, Doc.
- Shit!
I haven't seen you in six years.
I promised you, m'hija,
your Mom took you from me!
I don't know you.
I promised I'd kill
seven, m'hija.
By gun, by hand,
by rope, by car,
by water, by fire,
and finally...
by knife!
- Dies irae, dies illa...
- I don't know you!
- Solvet saeclum in
favilla...- Get away from me!
Teste Satan cum sibylla...
Get the fuck back to the wall!
Get back there!
Do not move.
- Come to me my baby!
- What're you doing?!
Come to me, my baby!
Vinny! I told you
to open the safe first.
You can torture and do
your satanic shit after.
I know you're fucking in there!
I know you're fucking in there!
Don't you look at me, goddammit!
- Rick!
- My God!
Ay, ay, ay...
I know you're in there, baby.
I'm gonna get you.
Come on, baby.
Come on.
Vinny! Vinny!
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Traci!
Trace?
Traci?
Shit, are you okay?
Fuck.
Who the hell shot Santa Claus
and his elf here?
It wasn't you?
Shit! Come on, come
on, come on, down, Jon.
Down. Let's go.
Why you trying to destroy
yourself, Jon?
Why jealousy, hatred, greed?
You only attract other
people with same emotion,
dangerous people.
I told you, Jon.
I said you couldn't trust her.
What really happened
with that woman?
Did you do anything to her?
Did you hurt her?
Jon... she was my life.
She was everything.
Do you understand?
Her body was found completely
destroyed and tore apart.
Her face ruined and slashed.
Police doesn't want
to hear truth.
They call it unsolved crime of the century.
They transform Elizabeth into
a dark fantasy of Black Dahlia.
I transform myself
like a phantom of opera.
Love and tragedy, Jon.
I see it in your eyes.
Colorado State, Jon?
ATM.
College transfer papers, Jon?
I don't think you're going
to get into Colorado State
the way you've been
handling this job.
You're fucking everything up.
Keep your heads down, guys.
Traci, not that far down.
You know, I hope you know--
because of you and your fucking up,
we got two fucking
bloated bodies out there
the javelinas
are gonna start chewing on.
What do you think about that?
You don't give
a goddamn, do you?
Well, I'll tell you what, I'm holding
you responsible for this shit.
Jon...
You're a fuck-up.
This whole ATM thing,
it's just fucked.
I mean, are you this much
of a fuck-up in real life?
What does she see in you?
Did she find you under a bridge?
What a fucking pussy, man. I can
hear your heart beating from here.
Don't fucking disappoint me.
Tomorrow is a big day.
We gotta get the fuck
out of here alive.
Well...
if they wanted to kill us,
they would've.
You know, maybe it's a vendetta
against Doc
and that black rat of his.
Maybe somebody
followed him here.
Or it could be the drug
lords looking out for me.
Hell, it could be that crazy cougar
lady neighbor friend of mine.
She's a pretty good shot.
Jon, come here, come here.
What about that friend of yours,
the guy who gave you the safe?
Maybe he had
something to do with this.
Did he have anybody after him?
I don't know.
Maybe, yeah.
- Maybe?
- Maybe.
I think there might be.
Now listen, Jon,
every once in awhile in life,
your balls gotta get
a little bit bigger.
And now's the time.
I need you to go out to the
garage and get the guns.
They're in an army duffel bag,
in a box
behind the white Impala.
Check for ammo, all right?
Traci needs this,
I need this. We need you.
- Army?
- Yeah.
It's green,
it's an army duffel bag.
You can do this, all right?
It's a one of a kind,
and I said yeah, I'm a one
of a million too, right?
I'm special, I'm unique.
My little baby!
I can lick it.
- Come on.
Let's go for spin!
How the fuck did Harvey's car
get into Rick's garage?
What are you talking about?
- Did you know about this?
- What're you talking about?
Harvey's car is
in Rick's garage.
- Those are Rick's cars.
- No, they're not.
Now either
you tell me the truth,
or I'm going to the cops.
- That's impossible.
- Where the hell is Rick?
Speak of the devil
and he shall appear.
Now you're not
going anywhere, pal.
And what the fuck
were you doing in my shit?
What a pain in the ass you are.
I've never had this much
trouble with anybody else.
And you...
Come here.
Finish packing, baby.
Now I know what you're thinking.
Did I fuck her
five or six times?
Well, to tell you the truth,
with all that excitement,
I forgot.
We've been doing
this shit for years.
I can't tell you how many bodies
I got buried up in the hills.
Now Jon, I don't really want
to have to kill you.
But I don't mind.
Now here, put these cuffs on.
Put 'em on.
It looks like
your kind of jewelry.
Now move.
Come on.
All right...
Pull over.
You know, Jon,
you could've gone back
to being a nobody.
But now?
You're gonna die like a
stray dog in the desert.
Then I'm gonna head
back to the ranch,
I'm gonna burn through that safe
now that Doc and that baby
burrito of his are out of the way.
Traci and I are gonna catch
a flight to the Caymans.
And I won't have to hear
you bitch ever again.
Move.
Down there, let's go.
Right up here.
Right there, down.
Get on your knees.
Nice place to die, Jon?
I owe you that much.
This is where I take
everybody to kill.
What did you do
with my friend's body?
I didn't do anything
with your friend's body.
He probably washed out to sea.
I was just supposed to pick up
the car and get it out of there.
And nice car, by the way.
One of my favorites.
Your buddy had good taste.
We were then supposed to
meet you at the gas station.
Get the keys from you
and then ditch you.
But you and your buddy
had a little catfight,
started bitchslapping each
other and he went skydiving.
There's no such thing as love.
Jesus, you think
Traci loved you?
Hell, I was fucking her
so hard last night,
I thought there was gonna be
a headboard homicide.
And you were right in the next room.
You think she cared?
Hell no.
But I tell you what--
Jesus, Jon, you look
like a schoolgirl
that's just seen
her first pecker.
Traci and I do have an
understanding about one thing.
Life's a lot easier
if you don't give a shit.
About anything.
I learned that
after my first kill.
My ex-wife.
Hell, she deserved it, Jon.
Fuck. What a pain
in the ass.
I mean, she belittled me
any time she could
about my football career
being over.
How I wouldn't amount to
anything, how I was a loser.
We get into it one night, she
had a little too much to drink,
and she just went too far,
so I fucking punched her.
Man, it felt good.
It felt... right.
So I kept punching her.
And punching her.
Next thing you know, I don't hear
that irritating little voice of hers.
And when I looked down into that
bloodied, battered face of hers,
you know what I felt?
Peace.
Jon, there's
no such thing as a hero.
In life,
you have to fight back.
What're you doing, Jonny?
What the fuck, Jon?
What're you doing?
What the fuck's this?
For fuck's sake, the karate kid!
Go ahead, let me see you.
What do you got?
Yeah.
Hey!
This is great.
Ooh!
What the fuck was that?
Jesus Christ!
What the hell?
Yeah?
Yeah, it's Rick Stanton.
Yeah, listen, I might be
a little late for that flight.
I got kinda... hung up
here for a minute.
What's that?
Fuck!
I'll do the steak fajitas.
Thanks.
Fuck!
Fuck!
You can't run from death, Jon.
Nobody can.
Although I just might
be the exception.
Jon...
Thank God you're okay.
I can explain everything.
It was all Rick's idea.
He's a pig and you saw that.
What else was I supposed to do?
I was terrified.
I thought we were real.
Jon, I love you.
It was me you were laughing
with, watching movies with.
We were happy!
Don't you remember that?
Don't you want to be happy?
We can still go to Colorado.
Jon...
Where's the safe?
Sorry to interrupt you, Jon.
She take you for ride.
She is biggest scammer ever.
Her name is Rachel Brisby,
and she run dating scam website "Hot
and Horny" -- escort, crazy shit, man.
You gotta be kidding me.
Jon, he's lying.
He's so jealous of us,
he always has been!
That's why he started
ripping you off.
Jon, please listen.
This time, for once.
Come on, listen!
You believe this crap?
Anything's possible! You
could Photoshop that shit!
She's wanted in three states.
He's the reason
we're in this mess!
Don't you remember?
He's the one
who tried to kill you.
Your decision, Jon.
I warn you again.
Babe, I'm sorry.
Come on, we-- we can
still make it to Colorado.
Somehow you made it
back to me. It is fate.
Come on.
Jon. What're you doing, Jon?
Jon! Turn around!
Look at me!
Are you serious?!
After everything
we've been through?!
What am I supposed to do,
just sit here?
Jon!
Dammit, Jon! I hate you!
I fucking hate you!
I recreate myself because
I cannot deal with pain.
So I became Harvey.
And Harvey's a man
of many faces.
He's a seeker of happiness
and goodwill.
Then I meet you, Jon.
All these decades later.
And I see lost soul.
And I hope to save you.
Give you second chance
in your life.
But you didn't trust me, Jon.
Be careful what you wish for.
In life, you take
what you deserve.
Yeah.
You have to learn!
You cannot hide from life,
you have to listen, the music!
Well, that's the story.
You survive, Jon.
Now it's time to face
the truth, your truth.
You are different.
Different is
what pushes life forward.
Different deserves special gift.
So I ask you--
what is your dream?
What would make you happy?
And what did you say,
you remember?
What did you answer?
Well, if you don't
remember, I do.
You say your mom pass away.
You grow up in broken home.
And all your life, you
searching for your own corner,
your own place
to call home. Remember?
Here, read it.
All we need is
your signature right here
and your dream come true.
You know what,
he's my best friend
and I cannot wait
to give him this gift.
Yeah. Well, he work very hard.
That's his money too.
I want to surprise him,
that's the bottom line.
So he will sign later on.
I make my wish right now.
Hey, you like it?
It's beautiful?
Look at the windows.
Wow.
- Congratulations!
- Here you go again!
- Hey, how you doing?
- Nice to see you.
- Hey, nice to see you again.
- Nice to meet you.
- I believe this belongs to you.
- Yeah, it's yours.
The entire house is yours.
That it is. That it is.
Okay. Go inside?
Nice, isn't it?
- Great.
- Wow.
After all, your dream come true.
I can't believe it.
Let's go inside.
Man.
Did it again, Malmo.
Did it again.
Hey, I hope you enjoy it.
- It's your house!
- Hey, I gotta tell you--
Yeah?
I don't know how I'm ever
gonna repay you for this.
It's okay, but I
forgot to tell you.
Guess what?
I sign you up for school,
and next month we are attending
junior college together.
Your mom would be
so proud of you.
- Let's go in?
- Yeah, okay, let's go in.
So you never told me.
How old are you?