Just your nose and
then we're done, Mr. frost.
You butt-fucker!
I'm a baby.
Boys! It's dinner time.
Come inside please.
Hey, mom.
I know I said that I would stay
home and pack tonight but...
Yeah, of course
I'm wearing headphones.
Anyway, yeah, so surprise!
I'm not home. Um...
The Lerners asked me to babysit.
What?
Sneak off and see Ricky?
Why would you, why would...
Shit!
Sorry.
Ashley!
Ashley, are you okay?
Hi, mom, no, no, no,
everything's fine.
It's just traffic.
Mom, look, I gotta go.
I love you.
Yeah, yeah,
come here, come here.
Come on, give me a challenge,
give me a challenge.
Oh, that's right, you can't,
'cause I'm the best.
Okay, here we go.
Damn, I'm on a streak!
"Want to put her in the mood?
Watch a horror movie.
"When we're scared,
our brains pump out dopamine
"the same chemical we release
when we're aroused."
So fear really makes girls wet?
Told ya.
Bam!
You believe everything
you read online.
It's like with the paint cans.
Oh, my god, are we seriously
back to the paint can debate?
I ended that last week.
I was unconvinced.
No, no, no, no, no,
we looked it up.
That er doctor said
that the paint can
would've smashed
the robber's face in.
Just admit you're wrong.
Only reason to read this
stuff is for the pictures.
It's a plus. I know
what women want.
Dude.
What?
She's, like, twice our age.
I really don't think
it's gonna happen.
Five years. Big deal.
My parents are five years apart.
You don't get it.
Luke, Ashley's a ten.
A solid ten.
And you're like a fi...
Never mind.
She likes me, I know it.
It's tonight or never.
Okay, go ahead.
But my brother gave me weed,
so instead of trying to
bone your babysitter
maybe we could just, you know...
Puff-puff?
No, man, I'm going
through with the plan.
Don't mess it up for me.
I mean, Luke,
for both our sakes,
I truly, sincerely hope
you get some ass...
sistance...
Uh, with that
computer problem you got.
Like, technical assistance.
Call, uh, geek squad.
They're good.
Real smooth, Einstein.
You smell great,
Mrs. Lerner.
Don't you have a curfew,
Garrett?
Yeah, but my mom said
I could stay in...
Bed by 11:00, okay?
I know.
And don't forget
to brush your teeth.
I will, mom.
I left pizza money.
Okay!
Robert.
Robert, turn that shit off.
It's giving me a migraine.
Yes, uh, darling.
My ornaments were conspicuously
missing from the tree.
We're not putting those
on the tree.
Bell shoes, or I'll chop your
legs off below the knees.
Are you sure you've never
sucked another man's cock?
Not even in college?
Not some lost weekend?
Fishing trip?
Secret, special friend?
Ever?
Not that I can recall.
Because, honestly,
Robert, this is so...
Meterosexual?
That's not even the word.
It's Metro.
Metrosexual.
I'm allowed to like gay things.
I need a drink.
Oh, my god, the fetus machine!
I forgot you still had this.
What the fuck?
Dude! That is so creepy.
I'm sorry. Please tell me you
don't still sleep with this.
You totally do.
Shut up, dick.
You so do.
Of course not.
Hey, maybe it'll put you in the
mood while you're, you know...
She's here.
Good lord, you are breathtaking.
Thank you.
Nice sweater.
Thanks, nice tie.
Thank you.
So, uh, you're leaving us.
Deandra says that you're moving.
Yeah, in a couple of days,
to Pittsburg.
Did I give you permission?
So thank you for coming
because you've
gotta be busy packing.
Yeah, but I mean, I couldn't
leave without saying goodbye.
Wow! What
a nice thing to say.
Mrs. Lerner,
you look incredible.
Well, thank you. But I
told you, call me Deandra.
"Mrs. Lerner"
makes me sound fossilized.
Robert!
Oh, look who decided to
come out of his room.
Don't I remember something about
the trash getting taken out?
And don't forget the shovel.
Go on, Luke, and then
we can hang out.
Yeah, come on, you grab the garbage
and I'll get the recycling.
I don't know about you, tiger,
but I'm gonna miss that girl.
New carpets!
Damn it, rob.
Here we go.
Okay, I want to show you this.
Mmm-hmm.
We're going to do things
a little bit differently.
Lucas has been
sleepwalking again.
Oh.
No, crap!
Oh, just a minute.
Garrett, what are
you doing in here?
Oh.
Uh, do you have any itch cream?
My shoulder really... Top shelf.
Honestly, that kid
is a bad influence.
I want you to keep
an eye on him.
Once he's brushed
and he's in bed,
don't forget to give him
his sleeping pill, okay?
Then you take this pencil
and you put it
on his door handle.
See? Like that.
That way, if he stays in, great.
If he walks around, we know.
And what he doesn't know
can't hurt him.
Honey, it's time to go!
All right.
Okay, Ashley, call us if you
need anything, all right?
See ya. Good luck.
Now, don't stay up
and watch scary movies, okay?
It'll give you nightmares again.
Please don't do that. You're
embarrassing the lad.
Oh, Robert, that tie.
I know, right!
No, wrong.
Please, please, please?
Thank you.
Always be...
Prepared.
Please don't embarrass me like last year.
Oh, I promise.
Finally.
So, what do you wanna do?
Movie? Actually, I
gotta make a call.
So how about you hang out and
play video games or something?
This is just happening
so fast, you know?
I just need some space tonight.
Like, clear my head, say goodbye to
everything, if that makes any sense.
Ricky, of course
I wanted to see you.
I don't know.
11:30.
Well, if you want to break
a few dozen perv laws,
you could always ignore me
and come over anyway.
Ricky, no, that was a joke.
No, don't.
Luke!
Luke!
What? There's a spider. Kill it.
Just kill it.
Squish it!
It didn't do anything wrong.
Ash!
Ah.
Ashley!
Ashley, are you okay?
What?
I can handle myself
just fine, thank you.
The answer's still no.
Go on.
You're free now.
There you go, big guy.
Ricky, I know.
Yes, I know I leave soon.
You know you're my guy.
Can't we hang out tomorrow?
Okay.
Okay. Okay, well, maybe
if kiddo falls asleep early.
Okay.
All right, bye.
Luke?
Luke!
Luke, where are you?
Luke, where are you?
Luke!
Lucas, what are you doing?
Oh, you won't?
No, you are way too young
to be drinking. Give me that.
Oh, this?
Yes, that.
Give it to me.
Lucas, stop!
What has gotten into you?
One time me and Garrett
drank a whole bottle.
He puked so bad.
He can't hold his liquor
like me.
Wow, I'm super impressed, okay?
Now, give it.
Lucas, I'm so serious right now.
Don't.
Thank you.
Oh, my god.
Pardon me.
You forgot to shut
the door, doofus.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
Hey, no, sorry, I can't...
I can't talk right now.
He just opened
a bottle of champagne.
Uh-uh, no, that is
not an invitation.
Look, um, listen, I don't think
tonight's gonna to work out.
A chance to what?
Make things harder
than they already are?
What?
Okay, you know what? That was a low
blow, and I'm gonna hang up now.
Busted.
Me? What about you, mister?
Well, I won't tell if you don't.
Okay, deal.
You know, drinking
won't impress me, okay?
I already think
you're pretty cool.
Let's, uh... let's get
some food into you, hey?
Pepperoni or Hawaiian?
Anything but mushrooms.
Why don't you start the...
Whoa, calm down.
Have another drink.
Lerner residence.
Hello?
Hello?
Help! Somebody help me!
Come on, come on!
Who was it?
No one.
Why are you dating Ricky?
He's such a jerk.
I'm sorry. I didn't
mean it like that.
How did you mean it?
It's just like first Jeremy
and now Ricky.
You could choose
any guy in the world,
and you're choosing these
guys who treat you like shit.
Luke...
First off, you're sweet,
but second, there's actually a
really wonderful side to Ricky.
And my move's been really
tough on us, so be nice.
Plus, you're drunk, kiddo.
I am not drunk
and I am not a kiddo.
You're 12.
Thirteen in a few weeks.
I'm mature for my age.
I know.
If I were your age,
I'd date you.
Really?
Shit! I forgot to order
the pizza.
God, Luke, you didn't tell me
you ordered something.
I didn't.
Hi. Sorry,
we didn't order that.
This 312 Claremont?
Yeah.
Well, someone ordered this.
It was probably my dad.
Here, keep the change.
Hey, you, uh...
You have a pleasant night.
Okay, thanks.
Plates and napkins, mister...
I fuckin' hate this thing.
Help! Help!
You come here a lot?
Every now and then.
Come here to think,
be by myself.
What?
It's good ambience.
You are something else tonight.
Wait, if your dad
ordered the pizza,
why is there mushrooms on it?
I don't know, 'cause
they're like vegetables?
Hey, you mind
grabbing those beers?
Sure, hold on.
Hello?
Cindy, don't be stupid.
My boyfriend's going to kill
me if I don't get home soon.
Your boyfriend isn't here.
You're bad.
So what are your family's
plans for the holidays?
Drinking and arguing.
You crack me up.
Ricky, why can't
you just leave me alone?
Look, I'll be back
in one second, okay?
Hello?
Oh, you crack me up.
Okay, we'll see.
Yeah, I don't know.
I said, "we'll see!"
Hey, I'm still
pissed at you, you know.
You don't get off that easy.
I'll talk to you later, maybe.
Okay, bye-bye.
Hey, you'll always be
my little buddy.
You know that, right?
Can we just watch the movie?
Hey, where'd you go?
Bobby, are you up there?
Oh, my god! No, I can't!
I can't watch this part.
Why would...
Why would they go
into the attic?
It's just...
Oh, it's so stupid.
Oh, god!
Did you hear that?
Mmm-mmm.
Luke, Luke, Luke, no!
No, no, no, Luke.
Why?
No, just because, Luke.
Look, I know you've
been drinking...
So have you,
so why won't you kiss me?
Because, Luke, it is the most
inappropriate thing ever!
Okay?
Lerner residence.
Are you gonna talk?
I can see you.
Is this Jeremy?
Joey, is that you?
If you can see me, how many
fingers am I holding up?
I see something.
No, let's get out of here.
There's somebody out there.
What's gotten into you?
There's somebody over there!
Luke, could you
just turn that off?
Why?
Can you just, please?
Come on, let's go.
There's somebody out there...
Can you...
Give me that.
Luke?
Was it Jeremy?
I don't think so.
Then who was it?
Everyone knows he's totally
obsessed with you.
What the fuck!
Where's the hose?
I'm spraying
whoever's out there.
Luke, get my phone!
Oh, god damn it, Luke!
Oh, shit! Sorry!
God, do you know how much that cost me?
I didn't mean to.
8 plus. Do you not look
when you're throwing?
Ashley, my mom'll buy you
another one.
Oh, Luke!
What, I'm, I'm not scared.
Yeah, well, we don't
know who it is.
Then look.
No one's there.
What the hell?
Luke, no! Don't.
What are you...
Luke! Whoever's out
there, cut it out.
I know TAE Kwon do.
See? Scared 'em...
Hi. How are you?
Get off me!
Dude!
Your guys faces!
Your faces.
You were like...
You asshole!
What the hell, man?
Come on, I'm just
checking up on you kids.
I nearly called
the fucking police!
What were you doing
sneaking around back there?
Back where?
In the backyard.
I didn't go in the backyard.
Stay here.
What was that?
I, I don't...
Hey, hey, hey, what's that for?
Luke, where's your phone?
My parents took it.
I have one.
Okay, dial 911.
I'm going up there.
If I scream, press send
and hide, got it?
Okay.
Dude, if this is a prank,
I'm kicking you in the balls.
Jesus! What are you doing?
Stay down there.
We heard something.
Please don't leave us alone.
Okay, but just stay
right behind me.
Where did the noise come from?
Oh, my god.
Someone's about to spend
Christmas in fucking jail.
What?
My phone always works here.
What?
What the fuck?
Where's the computer?
Guys!
It's in my room.
We need the police.
If this is Jeremy,
I'm not even fucking around.
Shit.
What the hell?
Where's Finnandjake?
What's that?
The network.
It's gone.
How are they doing this?
Okay, Luke, come with me.
Garrett, stay here
and just get on another
one of those like...
What, Wi-Fi?
They're all locked.
No, god, Garrett!
Just use your fuckin'
techno magic.
Hey. Hey!
What the fuck's
that supposed to...
Jesus Christ!
Okay, we just need to find
the security panel,
and the cops'll be here
in minutes.
How the hell don't you
have a security system?
We never needed one.
It's a really safe neighborhood.
Okay, we'll just take my car.
We'll grab it and we'll, um...
What is it?
Stay back.
Get against the door.
Garrett!
Garrett!
Garrett, what are
you doing? Get down!
Garrett, get away
from the window!
It was on the other side.
What was?
What the fuck is that?
Did you hear that?
Get upstairs.
Everybody get upstairs. Move!
Shit!
I'm getting out of here.
Garrett, come back!
Garrett!
Garrett!
What happened to Garrett?
Is he hurt?
Listen, okay?
We're gonna go upstairs, okay?
In the bedroom
and lock the door and hide.
And then what?
And then what?
We're going to scream
out of the window, okay?
We're going to scream as hard as we
can until the neighbors can hear,
and then they'll call the cops.
What if they shoot us?
What if it makes them
come inside?
Look at me.
I need your help,
and I need you to stay calm.
We're gonna get
through this, okay?
Okay.
Do your parents have a gun?
Yeah.
Where do they keep it?
By my parents' bed, dad's side.
Okay, we get the gun.
And if anyone tries to
come inside, we'll...
You know, we'll shoot 'em.
Okay.
Okay.
Hug the wall and stay
in the shadows, okay?
There's someone there.
What are they doing?
What do they want?
What do we do?
Go, go, go, go, go, go.
He's coming!
Okay.
Okay, Luke, we're just going
to stay here until they leave.
They killed Garrett.
What if they kill
my parents, too?
No.
Lucas, that is not
going to happen, okay?
I think we should get the gun.
No, Luke, the guys down there
have a shotgun, okay?
No, we're staying here.
What are you doing?
Stay here!
Jesus, Luke.
Lucas!
Seriously!
Luke, they can hear us.
Where are you?
Shit, something's on me.
- Luke!
- What?
- Oh, shit, something's on me!
- What is it?
Something's on me!
Ah, shit!
No, no, on my face!
No!
Get it off!
Ash, look at me!
Get it off!
Get it off! Get it off!
Look at me!
I got you.
You're going to be okay.
I can't do this.
I've just gotta get
my dad's gun.
Then we'll be okay.
It's okay.
It's okay to cry.
I'm scared, too.
But I have to get the gun.
Wait, no.
Wait.
Quick! I think
he's downstairs.
Is that loaded?
Yeah, I checked.
No!
Okay, go, go, go.
You stay here.
I'm gonna go out there
and I'm gonna scare them away.
No, no, Luke, stay here.
Don't worry, I'll protect you.
Luke, going out there's
not brave, okay? It's stupid.
Luke!
Trust me.
Luke, come back!
Let go of me.
Oh, my god! Shit!
Can you turn it off?
It won't.
Turn it off!
Go away.
Go away.
Luke, I'm so sorry.
Please go away.
That's your mask.
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god!
Ash, no!
Garrett!
Ah, dude?
Take that mask off!
What? Is this
a fuckin' joke?
I...
We were gonna scare you.
Yeah, well you did. You
scared the shit out of me.
Why? Why?
Why would you do that?
I was gonna go save you,
but dipshit here...
Luke, your friend
is holding a real gun!
This is serious.
How could you do that?
Because you treat me
like a child.
And what, you were going to show
me how much of a man you were
by rescuing me
from fake armed robbers?
You are a child!
I almost broke my neck.
What delusional infant thinks
that staging a break-in
is gonna get you to second base?
You're mental!
You're a selfish brat with no
consideration, and you need therapy.
Lots of it.
I'm gonna go and put your dad's
hunting stuff back there...
No, Garrett, you stay
right fucking there.
Luke, you are in
so much trouble.
I'm calling your parents.
Ashley.
Ashley!
Ashley!
What?
Dude, what'd you just do?
What the fuck did you just do?
Oh, my god. Oh, my god,
I'm moving so fast!
Whee!
Whoa!
Okay, uh, kill-fuck Mary with
the adventure time chicks.
Go.
Fuck Princess bubblegum.
What?
Not Marceline?
Hell no.
One, she's made of bubble gum
so she can, like, stretch,
which leads to two,
her pussy tastes
like bubble gum.
Ooh, dude, that means she's all,
like, sticky and moist and shit.
Dude, those are pros.
Where'd you
learn that, your mom?
No, your sister.
Further, everyone from the candy
kingdom is ravenous for flesh
so you know she gives
legendary head.
Yeah, as long as you don't mind
cutting gum out of your pubes.
Not that you have to
worry about that.
Oh, my god, dude.
You gotta have one of these.
It's like...
It's like marshmallows.
Everywhere.
Maybe I should have
given you a half dose.
What'd you call it again?
Oxy.
Oxy.
It's awesome.
It's awesome.
Awesome, awesome
awesome, awesome.
Awesome.
Is that a word?
Oh, I gotta do that again.
I'm gonna go and explore.
Watch the carpet!
Damn it, my mom will kill me!
Sorry.
Just get out of there.
Come on.
Sure you know what you're doing?
Always.
Something's missing.
What the fuck is going on?
Jesus!
How many different
lotions do you have?
There.
All better.
Dude, that's fucked up.
Come on, it's hilarious.
What do you think, Ashley?
Oh, thank you, Luke.
I've literally never
looked better!
You're probably
wondering what's going on.
It's out in the open now.
You know how I feel about you.
Look, I really, really don't
want to shoot you, Ashley,
but I will.
So if I take the gag off,
you won't scream, right?
'Cause then I have
no other choice
but to shoot you,
and like I said...
I really, really don't want to.
You get me?
Luke, listen to me, okay?
Uh-uh-uh.
I didn't say talk.
You talk when I tell you.
Okay.
Talk.
Luke, listen to me, okay?
I think I have a concussion.
I need to go to the hospital.
Put the gun down and untie me.
This needs to stop immediately.
No.
Whatever you think that you're
gonna get away with, you're not.
Ashley, you used to tell me
I could get away with murder.
- Luke!
- I'm just kidding.
God, Ashley.
Lighten the fuck up.
I'll tell you what.
Let's play truth or dare.
How about you untie me
right fucking now?
Language, Ashley.
If you win, I will untie you,
but if you lose,
well, if you lose...
Then you drink this.
What is that?
We'll call it
my insurance policy.
Isn't it amazing
what you can get
on the playground these days.
Luke, I have known you
since you were eight.
You're threatening me
with a gun tonight.
- This is not okay.
- Whatever.
Neither is, like, political
corruption in west Africa.
By the way, I need help
with that paper.
It's due Monday.
Okay, Ashley, I'll go first.
Truth or dare?
I dare you to grow up.
Truth or dare, Ashley?
Don't make me
point the gun at you.
This is so stupid.
Truth.
I knew you'd say that.
Okay, truth.
How many guys have you fucked?
What?
Luke, what are you doing?
This isn't you.
Just answer the question.
None.
Bullshit!
You're not a virgin.
Everybody knows
you screwed Jeremy.
No, I broke up with him because he
went around telling everybody that.
Okay. Guess it's
my turn then.
Uh, Luke, truth or dare?
Well, it'll be dare of course.
Okay.
Um...
I dare you to touch her tit.
No, please don't do that.
It's the universal rules,
Ashley.
Do you have a preference?
Right or left?
Fine, I'll pick.
Oh, that is nice.
I can see
what all the fuss is about.
Dude, are you...
Shut up!
Hey, hey.
Hey, dude, why are you shoving?
Don't push me, dude.
I will kick your ass.
Okay. Okay.
It's pretty nice, huh?
How'd that feel?
Like a little boy
just felt me up.
Ashley...
Do you know what it's like to love
someone who doesn't love you back?
More than you'd know.
No, you don't.
Everyone loves you.
All the guys wanna fuck you.
Oh, Luke. You are
in so much trouble,
the both of you,
when your parents come home.
They're never going to find out.
Your turn.
Luke, truth or dare.
Why isn't anybody asking me?
Ah, truth.
Did you ever tell Garrett
that you killed his hamster?
What?
The answer is no.
Next turn.
You said Lebron escaped out
of the hole in my screen.
He did.
He was just dead first.
What the fuck, man?
It was an accident and besides,
it was, like, two years ago.
You have a cat now so he
would have died anyway.
Garrett, truth or dare?
Why would you lie to me?
Truth or dare?
Dare.
Dare, and you'd better dare us
to make out or something.
- Not on your life.
- Why not?
Why do you get to
have all the fun?
Because she's my babysitter.
You don't touch her.
Then what am I
even doing here, dude?
We were just gonna scare her and now
this has turned into, like, shit.
What if we get caught?
Look, I don't like this, man.
Really?
Dude, stop!
What are you doing?
Dude, I'm done, man.
I just wanna go home.
No, no, no, you can't go now.
We have to finish this.
This isn't as much
fun as you said it would be.
What if someone finds out?
You know what they do
to white kids in jail.
Garrett, listen to me.
You're an accomplice now.
You'll get caught
if you don't help me.
We have to stick to the plan.
She won't remember
any of this, trust me.
Fine.
Let's just...
Let's get this over with.
Shit!
Oh, shit!
Aw, so close.
So, because you cheated,
here's what's gonna happen.
When my parents get home,
they'll find you passed out
and realize that
after I went to sleep,
you raided the liquor cabinet
and partied hard before
your big move to Pittsburg.
Exhibit a and exhibit b.
And in the morning, you
won't remember any of this.
Luke walked me through.
It's the best way.
Luke is taking you straight
to jail with him, Garrett.
You're making a big mistake.
Just run.
Call the cops now.
You can stop this.
Drink.
Hard pass.
Come on!
You love drinking.
You drink with Ricky
all the time.
What's the problem?
Eyes up here.
If you drink,
all of this goes away.
We don't have to do this.
Drink.
Oh, you bitch!
Help!
- No, no, no, no, no!
- No, no, no, no, no!
Stop.
Shh, shh, shh!
Stay calm, and stay here
and clean this up.
Okay.
Hey, hey, shh, shh!
Who is it?
I'm here to see Ashley.
Ricky?
Yeah, man, open the door.
She's not here.
Listen, I know she's in there.
She texted me to come over,
like, half an hour ago.
She doesn't want to see you.
I just wanna talk to her.
Go away.
She doesn't love you anymore.
She told me.
Ashley!
Ashley, come out and talk to me!
Dude, shut up!
She doesn't want to see you.
All right.
All right.
Hey, listen, man.
Could you just
give her these, please?
Fine.
Pass them through the door.
All right, awesome.
Thanks, man.
Get the fuck out of here.
Hey, get out!
Ash!
You have pizza?
Ash!
Dude, why is that music so loud?
Ash!
Are you hiding?
'Cause I'll find you!
No! She's upset.
Dude, I know that.
What do you think these are for?
So she can't see
you till tomorrow.
Be quiet please.
Please, please!
Dude, why not?
Hey, I got...
I got the rat.
The big rat. The fucker was
fast, but I got him...
Where is she?
Where's ash?
Upstairs, but it's probably
better if you come back tomorrow.
No! It's not just you.
She has cramps.
What?
Menstrual cramps.
It's real bad. Yeah,
she has diarrhea, too.
Oh.
Ash! I'm gonna
come up!
I don't care what you have.
Fucking diarrhea?
Sorry, dude. What do we do?
I don't know.
Just stay with her.
What the hell are you doing?
That was so not cool.
Ash!
Dude, where the hell is she?
I told you, she doesn't want
to see you now. Ashley!
Come on, you don't have
to be embarrassed.
Babe!
Don't you, like, have some
tampons, or something?
Dude, what happened...
Whoo-hoo!
What the fuck?
Hey!
What the fuck are you doing?
What have you done with her?
Hey, where is she?
You're fuckin' dead,
you little piece of shit!
Hey, hey, hey! Ah, drop it.
Drop... drop it.
I'm serious. I'll blow your
fuckin' face off in three, two...
All right, all right, all right.
Whoa, man!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Okay, don't shoot me, okay?
Okay, get on your knees.
Please.
Okay, okay.
Please, get on your knees.
All right, all right!
Okay, thank you.
He lines up the shot.
No, no, no!
Luke!
What the fuck? Holy shit!
What do we do now?
Isn't this exciting?
No! No, dude,
we're going to jail.
Don't you get it?
We're going to fucking jail!
Luke, we're gonna
fuckin' die in prison.
No, we're not.
Fuck!
Why can't we just
roofie them both?
That was all I had.
And even if it wasn't,
jiffy lube here has
a fucking hole in his face.
You really messed
things up, Ricky.
Things just got a whole lot more
complicated for me and Garrett.
Ah.
Just let Ricky go.
We both know I can't do that.
Look, we can say that he fell on
an exposed nail or something.
Garrett can go with him to verify
the conversation with his roommate.
You and I, we stay
here, we clean up.
You go to bed before your
parents get home and then...
You call the cops and they
arrest me in my Jammies.
I don't think so, ash.
What if she's serious?
Dude, she can help us
get out of this.
You got a lot to
learn about women.
Why didn't you listen?
I said I'd text you.
You did text me.
What?
Check my phone.
You texted him.
What are you talking about?
You don't want us
to get out of this.
You invited him here! Blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
Luke, what the...
You texted Ricky to
come here, didn't you?
No, man.
Why would I do that?
Okay, I did.
I was gonna tell you,
but grease monkey got
here 15 minutes early.
Caught me off guard.
Lighten up. I got it
all planned out.
Yeah, what else you got planned?
What else are you gonna lie to me about?
Garrett...
Go take a walk
and chill the fuck out.
Garrett?
Garrett, no, please don't go.
Please. Just take another
Oxy if you have to.
Garrett!
Oh, look.
Your phone still works.
It's about time we invite
our second guest.
The douchebag ex.
Jeremy?
Invite him here.
I'm not asking.
You're not going
to shoot me, Luke.
I will shoot you, Ashley,
if you don't invite him here
right now.
Sorry, kiddo.
I'm not involving anyone else
in your bullshit.
Fine.
God, please don't pick up.
Please don't pick up.
Please don't pick up.
Please don't pick up.
Please don't pick up.
No, not again
with the duct tape.
1,001 uses for duct tape.
- Hello?
- Hey, Jeremy.
Uh, who's this?
I'm actually calling for Ashley.
There's no Ashley here, dude.
Wrong number.
Oh, my god, what a moron!
I can't believe
you dated this guy.
Hello?
Hey, Jeremy, don't hang up.
I'm here with Ashley.
She wants to talk to you,
but not on the phone.
Who is this?
She's being all weird.
I think she wants you
to come over.
She's babysitting me and...
Is this that little taint
on Claremont?
Yes.
Tell her to stay there.
I'm coming over right now.
Okay, come around the back.
What's going on?
Nothing.
Luke. Luke,
listen to me, okay?
You don't know
what you're doing.
If you don't stop,
someone's going to get hurt.
Don't you remember when you
killed Garrett's hamster?
You cried when you
told me about it.
You were sad.
It wasn't an accident.
As if.
Say it, you grease monkey loser.
You actually think Ashley's
gonna remember you in a year?
Whatever you just said,
say it again,
I fucking dare you.
I said... I need
the bathroom.
Gross! Stop it!
Fucking Mongo!
God, I'm getting us out of here.
Ash, as soon as
you're free, you run.
I'm serious, don't turn back.
I can handle myself.
Listen. Keep cutting.
Look, I know you've
been avoiding me
'cause you've got this
whole future planned out.
You know, you got college,
you got a career.
The kid's right. I don't
have those things.
I just want you to know
I'm happy for you.
You're gonna be awesome.
He's coming. Hurry!
Dude, your piss reeks.
Reeky.
What the fuck you been eating?
Jeremy lives, like,
30 minutes away, right?
Ugh! We've got time to kill.
Fuck!
Yeah, fuck!
I want to watch
the two of you fuck.
Listen, you little shit...
No, you listen to me.
I got the gun.
Just let him play big boy.
He likes that.
Ashley says she's a virgin,
but I bet you hit that shit
twice a day, right, Reeky?
You haven't?
Well, tonight's
your night, guys.
I'm just kidding.
God, relax.
I'm not a pervert.
It's not piss.
Garrett, what the fuck!
What, man?
You told me to calm down.
Nobody's smoking
weed in the house!
Well, like,
next time be more specific.
You moron!
My mom's gonna kill me!
Stop bossing me around.
- Give it to me.
- No.
- Give it.
- No. Hey!
Give it to me!
- Hurry up!
- I am.
Shit!
Puff.
No, man.
I don't fuck with that shit.
Luke, just...
Garrett, both of you guys, okay,
can we just talk and relax?
I feel like there's a solution
that can make everybody happy.
You're right.
We all just need to relax.
Ricky, you first.
I said no.
Do you want a hit from the
joint or a hit from the gun?
Luke, stop it!
I'm giving him a choice.
Whoa!
That's awesome!
Hey, stop it!
What are you doing? Stop!
The house smells like marijuana so
I need to get it in his system.
What do you mean, "in his system"?
Garrett, come here.
Help me pull.
Where are you taking him?
Stay there, smoke up.
Dude, why do you
hang out with this guy?
Because he's my best friend.
You sure about that?
Yeah.
You painting something?
We're gonna see who's
right once and for all,
mythbusters style.
Hey, Garrett, in scouts,
were clove hitches
clockwise or
counter-clockwise?
Clove who?
Never mind. Got it.
Got what?
Dude, what the fuck is going on?
Dude...
I have no idea.
Whoa! What the fuck, man?
Oh, you're fucking
home aloning him?
Dude, what are you doing, man?
Please, let me out of this.
Is it level with his head? What
the fuck are you doing, dude?
You're gonna kill him!
Just stop it.
Garrett.
Garrett, right?
Yeah.
Please untie me.
Okay.
You said that the paint can
would knock him back,
like in the movie.
Okay, look, I take it back.
Everything I said, I'm sorry.
You win.
Just stop it, please.
Let's just try it one more time.
Ashley!
Oh, shit!
Blindfold him.
No, no way, man.
Dude, stop, man, stop!
This is fucked!
Garrett, I'm warning you.
Blindfold him.
Listen, man,
whatever it is, I'm sorry.
All right? Luke, I'm sorry. I'm
sorry for hitting you, man.
Make sure it's good and tight.
You don't have to do this, guys!
You are fucking insane!
Ashley!
Oh, fuck it!
Ashley!
Put it down,
or I will shoot you!
Thank god, Ashley, thank god.
I said, put it down!
Okay.
Oh, my god!
Holy shit, his head!
His head, it just exploded!
I told you, Garrett.
I told you!
Why are you laughing?
I said, why are you laughing?
Because you can't shoot me, ash.
Don't come any closer,
I mean it.
A responsible parent always
keeps the ammo separate.
Garrett, get her!
If she gets away,
we're both dead!
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck! Fuck!
Hey, hey!
Please, please!
No! No!
Hey. Hey, just come back.
Just come back.
Oh, hey! Fuck!
Get off of me, you crazy fuck!
Hey!
Get away from me!
Please. Please!
No! It would make
everything easier, please!
Let go!
Ow! What the fuck?
No, no, no, no, no,
Ashley! Ashley! Ashley!
No, no, no, no no, no, no, no!
Help!
Help!
Oh, thank you,
that was wonderful!
Thank you! Hope the cocoa
keeps your guys warm!
Have a good night.
Merry Christmas.
There's a couple of new folks
in the group this year.
Really improved
their harmonizing.
Oh, look who's awake.
Tough break, ash.
The carolers are gone,
and the lingards next door?
Well, they're in Florida.
I got rid of Ricky for you.
It hurts now,
but you'll thank me later.
You like that?
Mmm-hmm.
Why did you kill him?
Correction. You killed him
by smoking pot in the house.
That weed is evidence.
You wanna go to jail?
It was a fucking joint, dude.
You didn't have to kill someone.
Garrett, we are going
to get out of this.
Remember when you ditched
fourth period and got caught?
Who convinced them that you stopped
some vandals in the locker room?
Me.
When my mom caught us
stealing from her purse,
who faked sleepwalking
so you could slip out?
Say it. This is so much bigger.
Dude, I am the Harry Houdini
of getting away with it.
I know how tonight plays
out, and we get out clean.
You just gotta do what I say.
Okay?
I said, okay?
Yeah.
Good.
Now, watch this.
Ashley is going to make a post.
Something simple, like...
"Why can't exes just go away?
"Jeremy is, like,
freaking me out!"
Now, all you gotta do is
make sure she stays quiet
while I deal with Jeremy.
Deal with him?
You mean kill him?
Of course not!
God, Garrett. Just...
We'll just plant a little seed.
And after that, we'll
get the paint off you
'cause you look like
a fucking hot dog.
I don't want to know.
Garrett, please.
Whatever it is,
just please stop.
Hmm.
Hey.
Hey, ash. Hey.
Hey, it's good to see you.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah!
We all good, yeah.
Yeah, we cool.
We're cool.
Mmm, mmm, mmm!
Yeah, we cool!
Fuck yeah! Yeah!
Yeah!
Ash! Ashley!
Fuck! What the
fuck is that?
Ashley!
Ashley?
Ashley?
Ashley!
Shh! Please.
Ashley?
Please be quiet,
please be quiet. Please.
- Please be quiet.
- Ashley, come on.
Ashley.
Ashley.
Hi.
Holy shit, man.
You scared the fuck out of me.
Where is she?
Inside.
Okay, cool.
Wait.
What?
Just slow down.
Come here.
Have a seat.
No. Where's Ashley, dude?
She's coming.
Chill out.
She's just asked me to
come talk to you first.
I just want tonight to be over.
What the hell's that?
You said she wanted to see me.
She wants you to apologize.
For what? Shh! Don't
wake the neighbors.
I could give a fuck!
A fuck about
the fucking neighbors.
She said that you'd know.
Fine. Where is she?
I'll apologize.
She wants you to write it down.
This is so fuckin' stupid.
"Dear, Ashley.
"I'm sorry."
That's it?
What?
What do you want me to say?
I'm just asking, is that it?
Should I go tell her
you're done?
Here, fuck.
Shit.
"Ashley.
"I am so sorry."
I don't know why I'm doing this.
Because you're
a good person, okay?
And you didn't know any better
and you didn't know
what he was capable of.
Just untie me, okay?
We'll run across the street
and we'll call the cops.
But Luke will freak out
if he finds that you're gone.
He won't hurt you. Okay?
I won't let him.
He's my best friend.
No, he's not.
Luke doesn't give a shit
about you, Garrett.
He uses you, he manipulates you.
No friend would put
you through tonight.
There, she wants Shakespeare?
Kid?
I'm done!
Hey, kid, where'd you...
Fucking cat!
Hey, kid, where'd you...
Ah! Ow!
Sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm gonna... I'm gonna
fix this, okay?
It wasn't supposed
to be like this.
I'm really sorry, Ashley.
I just wish I'd had
the balls to step up...
I told you not to touch
her, you asshole!
You shot...
You shot me.
Look what you made me do!
I'm... I'm dying.
Why did you make me do it?
Why did you make me do it?
Help! Help!
Help! Help!
Shut up!
I want my mom.
Fuck! Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Fuck you! Fuck!
Shit!
Fuckin' hell.
He was starting to
annoy me anyway.
You were never going to
let me go, were you?
Guilty.
I remember, my mom
used to tuck me in.
I'd hold onto her
and never let go.
She felt so safe.
I'd just fall asleep.
Then she stopped.
I don't know why.
And now, I don't
sleep well anymore.
I know exactly why she stopped.
Why?
Why?
Open your eyes.
Ashley, open your eyes.
Just answer the question!
Look at me!
Tell me I'm fucked up.
Tell me you're disappointed!
Say you're scared or you wanna go home.
Say something!
Ashley.
Ashley.
Please, say something.
Goodnight.
Shit, the hole in his cheek.
Oh, fuck!
Fuck!
What the...
Shit.
Fuckin' deers!
It wasn't even funny,
and Chantal and Dave
could not stop talking
about how awful it was.
I was so embarrassed.
Oh, dude,
they're just being cunts.
They're what?
Nothing.
Are we talking
about some sort...
We're not talking
about sex, are we?
'Cause after this meal,
I feel bloated.
Oh, my god, where's Lucas?
Oh, my god!
Lucas!
Lucas! Lucas!
What's going on?
Shh, I got you.
I got you.
It's an unspeakable tragedy.
Do any of the parents know?
Have they been made aware?
Garrett's parents?
Not as yet, sir.
I was speaking to Garrett's
father just last week.
Is there going
to be a grief councilor?
We'll arrange one for you, sir.
This one's still alive!
Okay, wait. Okay, honey,
just stay here, okay?
Just stay here.
Vitals are holding.
What have we got? Stab
wound to the neck.
She put duct tape on
to stem the bleeding.
Smart girl.
Saved her blood.
Let's go.
Mom, I'm worried about Ashley.
I think we should
go to the hospital.