Why in God's name would the Stantons
have their summer house...
out in the middle of all this yuck?
- I don't think they do.
- What's that supposed to mean?
It-It means we're lost.
Oh, we're just gonna keep driving
until we hit someone's pig?
Is that it, Harlan?
- Binky. - How in God's name
could you drag me down here...
to Yuckville, West Virginia,
when I'm 40 months pregnant?
Not that that was my idea.
Don't start that again.
You agreed.
Against my better judgement.
Well, you will have your own
personal beach house to console you.
Most husbands find it unnecessary
to bribe their wives to reproduce.
That's why I "dwuv doo."
Haven't these people
ever heard of pavement?
Oh, Huntsy.
Something happened.
What? What is it?
I think the kid wants out
at the next stop.
My wife is having a baby.
Where's the nearest hospital?
You might try
down in, uh, Jane Lew.
How close are we?
Oh, I'd say about...
forty, forty-five miles.
- Is he crazy?
- There's no time!
Well...
the Hollowmade Hospital's
in Jupiter Hollow.
It's about three miles, but...
Hollowmade!
Thank you!
You ain't gonna get in there.
Garth?
It's time again.
Where do you want me
to put this, Doc?
Just put it right here,
Eufus, on your way out.
Uh, check with me tomorrow,
and don't worry about it.
Mmm, that's good cider,
Nanny Lewis.
Uh, could you take that
down to the lab?
Snack time!
There's the hospital, Harlan.
- Cross your legs.
- Hunt!
Tell them I want my own room.
- My wife is having a baby.
- Oh, well...
Jane Lew Hospital's probably
what you're lookin' for.
- This is a hospital?
- Yes.
But it's for employees
of Hollowmade only.
- Company policy.
- This is an emergency.
Oh, I'd love to help you out,
but I can't do anything without
Mr Stokes's authorization.
- He's a real stickler...
- Mr Stokes?
He owns the Hollowmade factory.
Lives in that big, grey house
right over there.
That's gratitude!
I shan't be a minute.
Hunt, where are you going?
Hunt? Hunt!
You all right
back there, Iona?
Don't you fret.
I'm just fine.
- Howdy, Iona.
- Mornin', Jake.
- Mr Stokes!
- Doctor, I'd like you to meet
Mr and Mrs Shelton.
They're the new owners
of Hollowmade Furniture.
Scrub up, Doc.
Your new boss is having a baby!
Oh, look at this place.
What a dump!
Hi, Doc. Guess what?
I hate needles!
Now, hold on a second.
It'll just be a little prick.
Yeah, that's what got me
into this mess.
It-It's a girl.
Coming, Iona.
There you are.
I like that lamp.
- That new since last time?
- Yeah.
One more push.
It's a girl.
It's another girl!
Doctor! There's something
stuck in here!
Nanny, I think you'd
better get in here quick.
Nanny!
It's another girl!
Well, I hope you both
wanted twins...
'cause that's
what you both got... girls.
- That's wonderful!
- Damn.
That was the messiest, ickiest,
most unbearably primitive experience...
I've ever had.
If it's all right with you...
I'd-I'd like to name them
after my great aunts.
- I shudder to ask.
- Rose and Sadie.
Ugh.
You'll look so lovely
in that tiara.
All right.
We'll name them Rose and Sadie.
What colour are the stones?
You done real good.
Oh, Garth!
Why, that's
your prettiest one.
Well, what
should we call them?
It's just a duck.
Oh, you mean, the, uh...
How about Rose and Sadie?
That's pretty.
Sadie and Rose.
- Good morning, Moramax.
- Good morning. Hi there.
Thanks very much.
Thank you.
Miss Davis isn't in yet. Would you
take a seat in the reception area?
- Yes?
- She's coming.
It's Sadie!
Good morning, Moramax.
Please hold.
Good morning, Moramax.
Please hold.
Good morning, Moramax.
Please hold.
- Good morning, Miss Shel...
- Depreciation schedule,
on my desk by 5:00.
Stuart. You know, when I ask
for demographics, I expect you
to include all age groups.
- Uh, children 7 to 13 don't
purchase stocks, Ms Shelton.
- I did.
- Miss Shelton, the...
- Is this how we dress for the office?
You look like a blood clot.
- Everything's ready
for the board meeting.
- Flow charts.
- Profit pyramid.
- I hope you'll be pleased.
We were here until...
What's going on in research?
More money for more lab rats?
Uh, some of our new products seem
to create, um, adverse reactions.
Get tougher rats.
- Where's my sister?
- Not in yet.
- Dieting again, are we?
- Shh. Not here.
- Good morning, Judy. Come on, Duke.
- Oh, hi, Rose.
I know I'm late. It's just,
I got to walking in the park...
and it was so beautiful,
and I, I found this cute little guy
and he was lost.
- And l...
- Rose.
- I think I'm gonna call him Duke.
- Because I've always wanted
to have a dog named Duke!
- Let go, Rose.
- Oh, God! Duke!
Oh, what have I done?
- Push the button.
- Oh, call someone.
Do something. Duke.
- The down button, Rose. Calm down.
- Oh, help me!
Call the security!
- It'll be all right.
- Duke!
- See? There he is.
Oh, Duke, you're okay. I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to do it.
It's all right. I deserve it.
Rose, why don't I take Duke
while you're in the meeting?
Oh, the meeting.
Oh, I almost forgot. L...
l-I'm just not myself today.
Or any other day.
You're late. The meeting's
in two minutes.
I know, but, Sadie,
do I have to go?
I sit there, and everyone
looks at me like l... like I'm...
You know, because... especially today.
I'm just not grounded.
I'm not centred in the way
I should be, because last night...
Dr Jay and I, we were having
this... this candlelight dinner...
and, you know, too much wine.
I started opening up, and,
I mean, he started closing up
like he usually does.
But I started talking about
getting married and-and having kids...
and maybe a goat
and some ducks...
and a little garden
with fresh veggies.
- You know how I love to chop and...
- What happened?
- Oh, we broke up.
- Good riddance.
You are so completely out of sync.
You are dreaming about
growing old in the country
while other women your age...
- Our age.
- Don't interrupt!
Are thinking about tummy tucks.
I tell you, it's not normal.
Now, stop it. Stop it.
Do you want one of the board
members to see you?
They'll say you're a snivelling...
hysterical, pre-periodic twit!
I have a right
to my own feelings, Sadie,
and I am not a twit.
I may be pre-periodic,
and I may be hysterical. So what?
So there are drugs for those things,
and we make most of them.
Now get in there.
I could just kick myself
when I act this way, Sadie.
Splash some water
on your face and maintain.
- Oh, Rose!
- DrJay for Rose.
Put him on. Look, Jay...
- Rose, Rose,
I'm so glad I reached you.
- I'm not...
I'm sorry, honey.
It's not that I haven't thought
of the-the M word.
I have. I have.
No, l-I maybe, uh, uh, might.
It's just...
You know what it is?
Well, I'll be honest with you.
It's your goddam family!
The idea of your blood-sucking
sister Sadie...
as a permanent
fixture in my life...
is so inexpressibly nauseating...
Well, take a purge.
I'm just gonna throw myself
into your work. Who was that?
A heavy breather
with intestinal woe.
- Oh, dear. Paw prints.
- Look, I'm fed up with you.
You're a senior vice president...
and the window washer knows more
about this company than you do.
You're so wispy, wispy, wispy.
Why can't you focus?
- I'm going to.
- And these weird attacks
of domesticity.
- Where do they come from?
- I don't know.
You're going to have to see
Dr Sullivan, I insist.
As soon as possible.
- He didn't stop you
from getting married.
- That was a brief girlish fiasco.
Well, uh, this, uh, fiasco would
like to have a few words with you.
- I tried to tell him.
- Hi, Michael.
What are you doing here?
I'm going into a board meeting.
Well, that's certainly
more important than your son.
Yo, Ma. It's me, Sly.
It's your day with him.
You're not dumping him on me
five minutes before a board meeting.
I am not dumping him on you.
I just want to know
the meaning of this.
- He said you gave it to him.
- I did.
- Do you mind telling me why?
- He earned it.
How?
A hundred dollars for every C,
two hundred dollars for every B...
You pay our child to learn?
Why not?
Let's just call it a, a perk.
You're out of your mind! You're
raising a child, not a, not a CEO.
Well, perhaps I'll raise both.
I got you. I got you.
Oh, all right. All right.
I'll take the money back
if you'll just get him out of here.
Hey, that's my money!
Mine!
Spoken like a true Shelton.
Jason!
Come along, Rose.
L-I don't even know
what's on the agenda.
There's a ridiculous little
company we've had forever.
- I'm going to ask the board
to offload it.
- What's it called?
Hollowmade.
Let's hear it for
the Hollowmade shop class
and marching band!
Playing, well, frankly,
I didn't recognize the tune, but, uh...
Now, to head up this fight...
we think we got somebody who's
more than a match for Moramax.
Hollowmade's own factory foreman,
Miss Guts and Gumption...
Miss No-Nonsense herself,
Rose Ratliff!
- Come on up here, girl!
- Yee-haw!
Bless your heart.
- Go get 'em, Rose!
- Think big, Rosie!
Thank you. Whoo!
I appreciate that, Mayor.
I really do.
I don't know about you all,
but I'm mad as a wet wasp.
I've been doing some checking up
on these Moramax folks.
Last year, they put
300 Santa Clauses out of work,
and right before Christmas too.
And now, it's Hollowmade
they want.
No tellin' what they got
up their designer sleeves.
Could be condos,
a ski resort.
Strip-mining's one
sure thing comes to mind.
Are we gonna let 'em swoop down
on us like a bunch of turkey
buzzards in business suits?
- No!
- Pick our bones clean?
- Take our factory,
our jobs, our way of life?
- No!
Can we outsnake 'em?
Hell, yeah!
Now, go on and get out there
and buy those canned peaches
and ceramic items.
Mayor Finkar brought his
two-headed calf all the way
up from Jane Lew.
And it's a beauty. Whoo!
Twenty-five cents a look.
Come on, we got to raise some money
so I can go up north...
and raise some hell and kick
some snooty New York ass.
- Whoo! Are you with me?
- Yeah!
'Cause right here, right now,
we've got the Swamp Mud Boys...
featurin' my sweet sister,
Miss Sadie Ratliff.
Hit it!
Well, hello, Jupiter Hollow
I know you're doin'fine
Every day you work the factory
Every night, a jug of wine
But now them bums at Moramax
They're tryin'to milk us dry
But you all knows my sister Rose
will sound the battle cry
Yee-haw!
Sister Rose is gonna kick 'em
in their little-lo-lay-hee-hoo
Their little-lo-lay-hee-hoo
Their little-lo-lay-hee-hoo
Every cent's gonna help us kick
their little-lo-lay-hee-hoo
The most fiscally prudent action at this
point is to take an aggressive posture
and divest ourselves of Hollowmade.
It's a little backwoods
furniture factory.
They actually still make
porch rockers.
Now, the opportunities
for expansion are virtually nil...
and the buyer has offered us
a most attractive price.
So you can see, gentlemen, that
were we to liquidate Hollowmade...
the return on our investment
would in fact be quadrupled.
Oh, but liquidate... I mean,
aren't there other considerations?
Uh, may I make a-a point? L...
I'm sitting listening here,
and l... what l...
I'm feeling, uh, deeply inside, l...
I mean, what it is, is... I mean, things
are just not computing exactly right.
I mean... Sorry.
Gentlemen,
help yourself to Danish.
Oh, God.
How many times have I told you
you're not to talk about things
you don't understand?
- I know, but...
- Where do you get
this bleeding heart from?
I can't help it.
I think the way Daddy bought
the company is so sweet.
If Daddy were alive, he'd be
the first to agree with me.
Sweetness wouldn't stop him...
from taking a huge profit
out of some toothpick mill
in-in Hickville, West Virginia.
Now, eat the goddam muffin.
And for God's sake,
try to show some poise.
- Poise.
- Miss Shelton?
- Yes?
- We're for it.
But we don't want
any publicity about it... uh...
people losing
their jobs and all that... uh...
From a PR standpoint...
we might look rather heartless
if we shut down the mill.
Last year's hostile takeover
of the Santa City chain
hurt us immeasurably.
Everyone's forgotten all about that.
I know I have.
Three hundred angry Santas picketing
our world headquarters tend to be
remembered rather vividly, Ms Shelton.
Yes, indeed they do.
Gentlemen, gentlemen.
And Rose.
You have my full and complete
assurance that the buyer...
Mr Fabio Alberici, will
continue running this factory...
in concert
with current management.
Therefore, I urge you
to give your most serious
consideration to a "yes" vote...
to the Hollowmade sale initiative at
next Wednesday's stockholders' meeting.
S-So the people of Jupiter Hollow
are in support?
Oh, they are!
I assure you.
Oh, that was...
Did you see that?
Oh, Sadie, you were so good.
You got 'em singin' and dancin'.
- That's gonna add plenty to the fund.
- Oh, the fund, the fund.
- You sung so good, Sadie.
Didn't she, Rose?
- Oh, she did.
What's wrong with you? Don't you
want to save Jupiter Hollow?
I know it's small of me, Rose,
but this doesn't strike me as a way
of life much worth preserving.
Hey, Sadie!
I got this thing all wrapped up.
I'm gonna get that little squealer
right there just for you.
- Oh, great, Petey!
- Yeah? Wanna go get a grape soda?
Not with a man covered
with pig poop. No, sir, I don't.
What, I'm not good enough for you?
You're gettin' a little above
your raisin', if you ask me, Sadie.
She's just kiddin', Petey.
That's sure the truth.
- You been above your raisin'
all your life.
- Mighty nice job, ladies.
We're gonna win. How can you say
that this is a way of life
not much worth preservin'?
Just look at this. How can you
not just love this place?
Oh, God, Rose,
I wish I knew.
I, I feel like the real me is
all cooped up inside, you know?
And I want so many things.
I want designer clothes.
I want to see the world.
I want a penthouse in the sky
and a maid to pick up after me.
I want to say things
like, "Keep the change."
God, sometimes I get so bored...
I find myself just prayin'
for a UFO sightin'.
I'd stand here and I'd say,
"Come and get me. Come and get me."
Yeah, well, you're bored 'cause
you got no sense of purpose.
Why don't you help me
with this Moramax mess?
Over my dead...
What do you mean?
Leave town?
Go to New York City?
- It's a dangerous, dirty,
low-down place, Sadie.
- I know! I know!
Oh, my God! What'll I wear?
I gotta get my hair cut.
Oh! This is just
the sense of purpose I need.
I gotta get me some
of those press-on nails.
Do those things stay on?
I wouldn't want 'em floppin' off
in any of those fancy nightclubs.
Listen. Nightclubs? This is business.
Now, you get a grip on yourself.
We're goin' to New York City!
We're goin' to New York City!
Ooh! Oh! What are you
gonna tell Roone?
I don't know.
Just keep your eye on the ball.
Hey, how's my baby?
You know, If I can birdie the
windmill hole this year, I got a good
chance of winnin' the Masters.
- Oh, look at that!
- Whoo-whoo! You see that?
- Isn't that somethin'?
- You know, when this tournament's over,
I'm gonna take you away for a week.
I'm gonna take you up to the tiptop
of Blue Ridge Mountain.
- It might be more like
the Empire State Building.
- What?
Oh, no, you're not gonna get me
in no New York City.
You know, for a while there, I was
worried they were gonna send you
to New York during the tournament.
- Listen.
- Hey, without my good luck charm,
I'd be sunk.
- Listen, Roone, I have
to tell you something.
- Oh, wait, wait. Shh, shh, shh, shh.
- I got a surprise for ya.
- Oh, goodness.
- What is this?
- It's a real golf ball,
miniaturized down.
I saw it in Big Putts magazine.
And if I win this tournament...
I'm gonna replace it
with a real diamond.
- Well, um...
- Marry me, baby.
Roone, um...
Oh, God.
- He just doesn't understand me.
- So what happened? What'd you say?
I told him
I'd let him know.
- You didn't tell him you were
gonna miss his tournament?
- No, I did not.
It's bad enough breaking his heart
without throwin' his game off.
- Mornin', Mayor.
- Mornin', ladies.
- Oh, come on, Duke.
Get your tail out of that truck,
you big ol' baby!
Oh, here, let me help you.
Oh! Feels like you packed
your whole damn closet.
- How long you plannin'
to stay for, anyway?
- For as long as I can.
- What do you mean by that?
- I mean I'm not comin' back.
Are you crazy?
Does Hilda know? Does Winona?
No, and don't you tell 'em, either,
or I'll tell Roone
you're missin' his tournament.
- Oh, you got a heart the size
of an unsoaked pinto bean.
- Then I oughta fit right in
in New York.
Mama and Papa would've
been so proud of you.
- Don't carry all your money
in one place.
- Don't go into the subways.
- Don't talk to any strangers.
- No.
- Or eat clams.
- No.
Auntie Sadie! Auntie Sadie,
will you bring me back a surprise?
Oh, little Levon.
You know I wouldn't forget you.
Now, what's that all about?
We're gonna see you in two days.
- Come on, let's go. Let's go. Come on.
- Okay, you go, you go.
- Get in the truck.
- Bye-bye!
- Good luck!
- Bye!
Take care! Hurry home!
Yee-haw!
Well, first of all, I thought I'd
show you this year's annual report.
- The photo of you two is great.
- Oh, my God! How did I get so fat?
I look like a walleyed salmon!
What did he use,
a wide-angle lens?
No, he didn't.
See, I look thin.
L-I mean I look thin. I mean,
I was sitting near the window.
- There was a lot of light.
- I know what you mean.
I don't understand how it is...
that you, my own sister, can stuff
your face and nothing happens...
and I subsist on 60 calories a day
or else blow up like a Macy's Day float.
Do you mind?
No, we're not going to Greenwich
tonight. The stockholders' meeting
is at the Plaza.
Get us our usual suite.
By the way, Rose...
Fabio Alberici is flying in today.
Uh, Sadie, uh, you know, I know that
I'm not that good at figures, but, um...
I mean, if we can't make a profit,
what makes him think he can?
That's his problem.
Now, this deal is not closed yet,
so I think we should...
trot on out to the airport
and greet him personally.
Italians love meaningless
gestures of respect.
Makes them feel virile.
- What are you laughing at?
- Oh, this is another crank letter.
- From whom?
- This R. Ratliff person
from Jupiter Hollow.
I've written him all sorts of
soothing letters, but he insists
on coming up with his sister...
to, uh, "raise some hell and kick some
snooty New York ass at the stockhol..."
Why didn't you show me this?
What if he actually shows up?
I mean, this is just the kind of
hysterical intrusion I don't want.
A couple of moist-eyed bumpkins making
an impassioned plea to save their...
- Well, the board is
suspicious enough as it is.
- Suspicious? Of what?
Nothing.
I have a job for you.
A Harvard MBA for this?
How are we supposed to find
these Ratliff people?
Who do I look like to you?
Nancy Drew? I mean, really!
Now, listen. These Ratliffs
are absolute hicks.
- There should be no problem
in finding them at all.
- Taxi!
- Over here, taxi!
- Chuck? Chuck!
- Where did you go?
- I'm in the cab.
- Harlan, stay to the right.
- Who are you kiddin'?
I haven't got lost since the day
the two of you were born.
- And that was at least...
- We know how many years ago
that was, Harlan. Just drive.
Where do we find
the suitcases, Rose?
- Oh, here. Look.
Over here, Sadie. Over...
- Okay. All right.
Oh, look at my glove.
- Oh, my God.
- Here, stick with me.
Come on, now, stick with me.
- Watch where you're going, lady.
- You're going the wrong way.
- What's the hold-up here?
I'm late for a flight.
- Rose! Rose!
- Stay with me.
- Wait here.
- Thank you, Harlan.
Here you are, Mr Alberici.
Oh, great. He's early.
Well, who looks Italian?
I don't know, you foreigners.
Oh, I hope we didn't miss him.
- Bus number 79 to Roosevelt Parkway.
- Come on, Rose.
- 182 to Kew Gardens.
- Oh, the heck with that, Rose.
- I'm in New York.
I wanna act like a New Yorker.
- Sadie, hold on! Hold on, now.
Hold on!
Oh, my God!
- I don't know what I'm gonna do...
- Rose and Sadie?
At last we meet.
Do we know you?
Oh, uh, I am Fabio Alberici.
Graham Sherbourne told me
to look for you.
But you are not easy to find.
They wouldn't let me park.
I had to keep circlin' and circlin'.
Did-Did you go and buy
yourselves brand new outfits?
- How'd you know?
- Come over here a sec.
- Wow, what's goin' on?
- You know that Graham Sherbourne who
wrote us those shuck and jive letters?
I bet he sent this fella
over here to soft-soap us.
- Oh, but how'd they know
when we were comin' in?
- Are you kiddin'?
Computer chips. They got their ways.
We better be on guard.
Sadie, don't you dare.
For once in my life, I'm gonna be Joan
Collins, and you're not gonna stop me.
Don't think we're always
gonna be this easy.
Perhaps we should
discuss business later.
Fine with me.
Oh, I just don't understand it.
I spoke to everyone
wearing an Armani suit.
Oh, oh, that must be he.
- Oh! Oh! Oh, my!
- What the hell is Harlan doing?
- Gee, these press-on nails. I guess
I should've pressed harder, huh?
- Shh.
You want
the air conditioning on?
Uh, it's not
n-necessary for me.
I don't know if...
- Don't touch.
- I just wanted to feel it.
- God, you are so bossy.
- Be quiet.
Will one of you
get the damn phone?
- Hello?
- Ah, glad I got you.
Which would you prefer
in your room, roses or tulips?
- Roses.
- Rose is me!
Thank you.
It was one of those surveys.
Well, I'm utterly humiliated.
How could Harlan do this to us?
- Look at this.
Not enough to get two blocks.
- Well, for God's sake,
don't tell him that.
Oh, he'll understand. Driver,
we're a little short on cash, and l...
- Hi.
- What is this hideous compulsion
you have to be honest?
- L-I don't know. I'm so sorry.
- Now, we are going to walk
very casually...
and yet very quickly.
Oh, Rose,
it's just so cosmopolitan.
- Isn't it excitin'?
- Oh, yeah. The noise, the smog...
the crowds, the muggers, sex fiends...
white slavers, politicians...
it's a pistol.
I got about as much use for it
as a toad has for spit curls.
You American are...
are so funny, eh.
Oh, thank you.
- What's goin' on?
What are we doin' here?
- I don't know, but don't take
your eye off your suitcase.
Wine and cheese.
Good morning.
Welcome to the Plaza.
Right this way.
Come on, Sadie. Quit gawkin'.
I hope we will be seeing
each other soon.
Here we are.
It looks just like the White House.
Yeah, and I bet the CIA's
in the basement too.
Look, let's level with each other.
Who's paying for this room?
The arrangements were made
through Moramax.
- Is everything all right?
- No, it's not all right, because...
Rose. Oh.
But I guess it'll do.
We oughta cancel our
reservations at the Y.
Testing, one, two, three.
Look, a sink in the livin' room.
That's what the French call a bidet.
- Well, the French must be
taller than me.
- It's me.
Wasn't there supposed to be
a gift basket in this room?
- Will there be anything else, ma'am?
- That's not ours.
- It's not?
- Oh, golly, no. Oh, I wish it was!
Oh.
Wow, what a room!
What do you mean you've
given our suite to someone else?
L-I don't know if we did, l...
The key's not here.
I want to speak to the manager.
Rose, look at this!
Red wine and cheeses
of the world!
Oh! And look!
Real wooden hangers.
But they don't come off.
Huh.
"Here's to another great year
for you and Moramax. Graham."
- Who's Graham?
- Graham Sherbourne.
He's the pinstriped trouser snake
sent us those letters...
and that big car and this room
and now this basket of goodies.
He's just tryin' to buy us off.
Well, we are not impressed.
Oh, they got the cutest little soaps
in the shape of swans.
Could you die?
I want our room,
and I want it now!
Uh, yes, ma'am, I can give you
the suite right next door.
It's identical. I'll have the bellboy
take up your luggage.
What luggage?
It's evaporated!
No. There it is.
I feel like my stay here
is already ruined.
Oh. Enjoy your stay.
I just know we're gonna have
the most marvellous time.
Lunch.
Thank you.
That was the Hollowmade factory.
All I could find out is
that they've already left.
My God! They may already be here.
I mean, what are we gonna do?
Call every hotel in New York?
I wish to God I'd never
heard of Neptune Gulch...
or whatever the hell it is.
Hi, everybody. Chick Hearn here
with ESPN's coverage...
of the 26th annual Mini-Masters.
Oh, it's a gorgeous day
for professional putt-putt...
and we've got ourselves
a real barn burner.
Let's take a look now at the
leader board. In the first round,
our leader is Roone Dimmick...
who's heading for the 12th hole
with a two-shot lead, six under par.
Now let's go to the 12th hole and meet
another member of our ESPN
broadcast crew, lan Churchill.
Lan?
Mr Dimmick here is being most
thoughtful with club selection
on his par-three tester.
The windmill, or perhaps
the hole of lamentation to him...
has plagued Mr Dimmick throughout
his otherwise stellar career.
He's now finished studying the lie...
and positions himself
as a hush falls over the crowd.
Roone! Hi there, Roone!
We're rootin' for ya!
Hi, Winona!
Hey, where's Rose?
Well, personally, I think
she should've told you herself.
- Told me what?
- Well, this morning...
she and Sadie just up
and went to New York.
- Ladies and gentlemen, just a second.
- Roone, what are you doin'?
- I think we 've got a surprise
turn of events here.
- It looks to me like Roone Dimmick
is walking off the course.
- Roone, where are you going?
Lordy, it's high!
Well, Rose, I'm going
to get my legs waxed.
Are you coming? Or are you just
going to hole up here...
and pretend you're wafting
through a field of poppies?
You go ahead. L-I'm going to the
library. I have some reading to do.
Sadie. About that factory...
Rose, if you can't trust your
own sister, who can you trust?
Darling girl.
Oh, Rose, it is
so gorgeous up here!
Whoo, makes me dizzy. Well, I am
gonna go find that Mr Sherbourne.
I am gonna dip him in flour
and let him fry in his own grease.
- Are you comin'?
- No, I think I'll just, uh, go for
a walk, if that's okay with you.
Well, here. Wait a minute. Don't go off
without a "Save Jupiter Hollow" button.
All right, Rose.
If you insist.
Hold the door.
Hold the door!
Hold the door!
Moron.
Oh, excuse me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Is everything satisfactory now?
Oh, my, yes!
That is some room!
Have you seen the view from up there?
- No. I've never been
above the third floor.
- You haven't?
Well, you just gotta
come up there and see it.
- That's very nice of you.
- Oh, no. It would be such a shame
not to share it.
And, you know, I bet it's just
so beautiful at night.
Well, bye.
I'll see you later.
Oh, well, buongiorno.
Would you care
to join me for a drink?
That's not really my style.
You know, you are not
making this very easy for me.
Is there any reason on earth
why I should?
I guess this is going to be
a difficult negotiation.
I cannot imagine what you think
we're negotiating for.
I thought it was understood.
Oh, really?
Eurotrash.
Oh. Oh, I thought I'd just go
for a walk, if that's okay.
You, walk?
Well, this I gotta see.
Oh. Hello.
Can you tell me what room
Fabio Alberici is in?
Yes, he's in room 1402.
But if you're looking for him,
he's right over there.
Oh, my God.
He must think I'm insane.
By the way...
I thought the delay when we
first checked in was inexcusable.
Oh, what cute dogs!
Oh, hello.
- Oh, no, you don't.
- Well, it makes no difference to me.
I'm getting paid
whether you ride or not.
Suit yourself.
What the hell are they doin'?
Are they crazy?
I should've quit
this damn job years ago.
Oh, Harlan!
Harlan! Harlan!
Harlan!
That happened to me once.
- Well, buongiorno.
- Buongiorno.
- You have changed your mind.
- Oh, I feel absolutely ridiculous.
Of course I should've
known who you were.
You must meet a lot of people.
There was such a mix-up at the airport.
I still don't know what happened.
It's already forgotten.
Campari and soda.
Well, business.
My geologists have given me
the plans for the strip-mining
of your Jupiter Hollow.
But first tell me,
would you have any objection...
to us making
our transaction in yen?
Mmm, laundering
some lira, are we?
Ah, the Japanese
are, eh, so discreet.
Well, tell me. Who buys
and sells money for you?
- Jack Butler.
- Jack? I went to Yale with Jack.
Oh. I did my first
hostile takeover with Jack.
No!
Hi, Rose.
How's Duke doing?
Duke? My dog?
Boy, when you go snoopin'
into people's lives...
you don't miss a trick, do ya?
I'm sorry.
I'm here to see
Graham Sherbourne.
Okay. He should be
in his office.
- And where is that?
- Well, where it usually is, Rose.
Oh, you're a big help.
Hi, Rose.
Hi.
Hi, Rose.
Oh, hi. Hi, everyone.
Just fine.
Had a good breakfast.
Oatmeal.
But I guess you know that.
Got on my Tuesday panties,
but I guess you know that too.
- My God, it's nearly time to go.
- There he is.
- Well, I know, but we have something...
- We-We have to get over to the Plaza,
for heaven's sakes.
- Oh, you're right.
- Could I see your report tomorrow?
- Maybe tomorrow.
- Hi, gentlemen.
- Tomorrow morning.
- Hi.
- Well, what are you doing here?
We were just on our way over to
the Plaza to see you and Sadie.
Uh, is, uh, everything okay?
No, everything is not okay.
We have to talk,
and we have to talk now.
All right.
What's the problem?
What's the problem? Have you got your
brains and your balls in your briefcase?
- Did she say "balls"?
- Let's just go in here
and talk, quietly.
You want some reassurances
that it'll be business as usual
at Hollowmade after the sale?
- You know we can't do that.
- Well, you sure as hell better.
Or I'm gonna kick up a big ruckus
at the stockholders' meetin'.
And I've said my piece.
Amen.
What are you talking about?
Does Sadie know how you feel?
- 'Course.
- Does she agree?
Is a frog's ass watertight?
Do you suppose it's hormonal?
Who cares?
We're off the hook.
How about some racquetball, and,
uh, where should we go for dinner?
Please, please. Let me just coast
for a few precious moments...
without having to make
any decisions.
I wanna go down to the South Street
Seaport. Do you go that way?
Step on it, please.
- Out of the way, bitch!
- Wha... Wha... Wait-Wait-Wa...
I'd like a mint julep, please.
Oh, no, you don't!
- Yo, Ma!
- Wha-What the heck did you do that for?
- I just wanted to go the distance.
- Go the distance? You...
- Get over here, you! Get over here!
- Hey! Ow!
- What are you doing?
- I'm gettin' you out of harm's way.
- Get off me!
- Get off!
- Relax, squirt. I've tied hogs
slipperier than you.
- I'm not a hog.
- Oh!
- Boy, you are hell on wheels!
- Well, what do you expect?
- Are you responsible for this?
- His mother spoils him rotten.
Well, she's a damn fool.
He's a disaster area.
- You don't really mean that?
- Oh, yes, I do.
I'm very sorry. But you know,
it's never too late.
Now, if you'll both excuse me,
I must be getting back to the...
Plaza Hotel.
Come back! Where you going?
- Wait! Your money.
- It's my money!
That's Sadie Shelton.
- How about an ice cream soda?
- I'd rather have
the MP-60 rocket water gun.
How about an ice cream soda?
And I get to keep the dollars
overseas, where they aren't taxable.
Uh-huh. And invest them
in a villa in Italy.
But aren't Italian property values
a little... soft right now?
No. Very hard.
Hold that thought.
Here's to our deliverance
from repugnant tasks.
Here's to the Ratliffs,
wherever they are.
What are the two of you doing...
lazing around, guzzling Dom Perignon
on my expense account?
This had better mean you found
those Ratliff people.
But I thought
you changed your mind.
What fantasy is this? Are we hearing
voices now, like Joan of Arc?
- But Rose said...
- No matter what bleeding-heart
sentiment my sister Rose
may have expressed...
it has nothing to do
with what Moramax wants.
Now, I want those people
found tonight.
- Now?
- Now.
This is for you from Sly.
Thank you.
You intimidate
your subordinates so well.
Don't I, though?
And what other
talents do you have?
Do you... dance, perhaps?
Don't think this is going to affect
my judgement in the slightest.
I'm planning to gouge you
on this sale.
And I, to impale you.
Thank you.
- Try the Y. Hicks always stay at the Y.
- I just did.
- And?
- They were going there,
but they cancelled.
Are you ready for this?
They're here.
- Where did you get it?
- It's from somebody named Sly.
It's a bribe. They want us
to keep our mouths shut.
- How come?
- They've got to be up to
somethin' terrible.
- Wait until the stockholders
hear about this.
- Do they have to?
- What do you mean?
- Well...
just 'cause we take a bribe doesn't mean
we have to do what they say.
Sadie Ratliff, sometimes I wonder
if we got the same blood.
My own sister. Damn.
I can't think how things
could get any worse.
They say the neon lights are bright
On Broadway
They say there's always magic
in the air
But when you're walkin'
down that street
And you ain't had enough to eat
The glitter rubs right off
And you're nowhere
They say the women treat you fine
On Broadway
But lookin'at them
Just gives me the blues
- The Plaza.
- At the Plaza?
- Well, where's the Plaza?
- 59th and Fifth.
On Broadway
As soon as I get my shoes on,
I'm gonna take this evidence...
and put it in the hotel safe.
Fine by me.
- Hello?
- Rose? Listen.
Did you say anything to Chuck and Graham
about calling off the Hollowmade sale?
- Of course not.
- Well, they are totally inept.
Look, I want you to go downstairs
and help them find these Ratliff people.
Sadie, why can't you do it?
Because Fabio has turned out
to be something of a perk.
I had plans
for the evening, Sadie.
I know what your plans were:
To hole up in your room and
make love to the pastry cart.
Now put down that eclair
and get downstairs.
Okay, Sadie.
I want to put this
in the hotel safe, please.
Rose Shelton, please.
Thank you. Never mind.
- Excuse me. Rose!
- Oh! Yes?
I've been doing a lot of thinking.
We can fix this.
- What is this?
- Open it.
- Oh, you're Sly.
- Sly... I don't know what you're talking
about. I couldn't be more sincere.
- Please. Another bribe?
- Bri...
- If you don't want this,
what do you want?
- If you think you can
buy me off with this...
- Look, honey...
- Don't you touch me,
and don't you call me honey...
you no-good, belly-scrapin'
pile of cow plop!
- Come... Come along.
- What's a cow plop, Mommy?
O-Obviously, you're still upset.
You can't outsnake me.
Excuse me.
L-Is this the Plaza Hotel?
It's all yours.
Hey.
You stand here long enough,
you see yourself come out.
- What?
- Yeah.
There's two of everybody in there.
The ones on the top,
and one of those cocoa truffles
with the little swirl on it.
And, um, I'll take two...
No, give me three of those
pretty parfait nougats. Uh...
Surprise!
Ah, yes.
I know I'm the last person
you expected to see here...
and maybe you don't believe this,
but you're the gal for me
and I'm the guy for you...
and we're gonna get married,
and there ain't no two ways about it.
- Is... Is this some kind of a joke?
- Is that all you can say?
I heard you were up here, and I come up
all this way, zippity split,
and you think it's a joke?
You'll have to excuse me.
Can you believe he actually tried
to buy me off with a diamond ring?
I think I've earned a...
a few hours' sleep.
- Are you comin' to bed?
- But it's only 9:00.
Mmm, boy, I never thought I'd
have to wear this old thing again.
Oh, Sadie, that used to be
your favourite dress.
Yeah, well...
- Where are you goin'?
- I'm goin' downstairs.
I'm not gonna stick around here
like a clove on a baked ham.
I'm gonna kick up my heels.
They got dinin',
they got dancin', food, beverages.
Shoot, I could stay right here
in this hotel the rest of my life
and be happy as Beulah the cow.
I thought you was gonna help me.
Ratliff. Ratliff. A man
and his sister from Jupiter Hollow.
I'm telling you, they're not here.
They must be registered
under an assumed name.
- Graham! Graham!
- Graham?
- Well, who's Graham?
- Rose.
- Hi. I'm Roone.
- I'm Graham.
- Uh, this is Chuck.
- Howdy.
- Uh, y'all from Moramax?
- Uh, yes, yes, we are.
- I'm from Jupiter Hollow.
- Jupiter Hollow?
- I was born in Jupiter Hollow.
- And you're proud of it.
Uh, do you...
do you know the Ratliffs?
Well, you're standin'
right in front of one of'em.
Uh, would you excuse us
for one minute?
Just... Wh... Rose.
I've never seen this person in my life.
He mu... He must have seen my picture
in the annual report.
- He calls himself Roone?
- He's R. Ratliff.
He's a factory foreman from Hollowmade.
This must be his perverse idea
of having fun.
Let's just humour him
until Sadie gets here.
Oh, do I have to?
Uh, Roone.
Would you like to join us for dinner?
Well, that sounds like a good idea.
Yeah, I could use a tuna fish sandwich.
Hi there.
- Hello.
- Gee, you're still workin'?
I bet you're lookin' forward
to gettin' off tonight, huh?
- I was, uh...
- I wanna have some fun tonight.
It's too early to go to bed.
You got any ideas?
Maybe.
Maybe I'll see you around.
Okay. I'll keep
my eye out for you. Bye.
So, you will not take back
any paper on the sale...
even if I kickback a percent
of the strip-mining profits?
Absolutely not.
I insist on total liquidation.
Well, this evening cannot end
until we conclude our negotiation.
Perhaps in my room?
Let me get my messages
and I'll meet you upstairs. L...
I want to change
into something less al dente.
Do you have any messages for me?
One. I get off at 10:00, and I'd love
to see the view from your room.
Well, we certainly can
look forward to that.
Uh, ma'am, could you,
uh, uh, put a little more fire
under this fish, will ya, hon?
I think I just heard it
holler "Help!"
- Smooth. Very smooth.
- Mmm.
Excuse me.
Well, what do y'all think of our Rose?
She's quite a little beauty, isn't she?
Don't you be gettin' any ideas now.
Oh, my God. Excuse us.
I know... I know it looks horrible,
but we've got the culprit right here.
He's a professional. Fake name.
Totally a genius. Totally prepared.
He actually knew Rose by sight.
Well, don't you let him
out of your sight until after
tomorrow's stockholders' meeting.
Is that quite clear?
Oh!
What are we supposed to do,
immobilize him with a death ray?
Let me think.
- Stop.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
L-l-I know it seems strange,
my comin' up all this way
from Jupiter Hollow like this...
but, Rose, I love you.
Why are you doing this to me?
Well, from the first moment
I heard you were in New York,
all that mattered to me was finding you.
You can't be happy here.
I mean, the traffic alone... I just can't
see you up here in all this traffic.
And the food. I mean, back home
we'd use this stuff as bait.
Look, I'm doing just fine.
Really.
I know. You'd do just fine in whatever
spot on earth they dropped you on.
It's just, Rose, I know you.
You don't belong in New York City.
That's in your eyes.
That's all over your face.
You don't belong in that...
that suit.
I mean, all this Moramax stuff is just
bleedin' the heart right out of ya.
You know you want a whole
other kind of life than this.
L-I've never told that to a living soul.
How did you know?
Well, I know you.
That-Tha-That's nothin' to cry about.
Oh, h... here.
Thank you.
Well, you're in America now.
Speak American.
Y-Yes, but you are dressed to go out.
Did you want to go out again,
or back upstairs?
I was going to go back upstairs.
Good.
- Shall we?
- No! I can make it on my own.
You go right ahead.
Ah. Of course.
By the way, why don't you take
this, uh, reading material now?
Last thing I planned
to do tonight was read.
Oh.
Well...
- Hi.
- You!
You look almost...
almost wholesome.
- What are you doing here?
- I wanted to talk to you.
- Talk to me about what?
- About what you said about Jason
in FAO Schwarz.
I was impressed and amazed.
It reminded me of a...
of a girl I used to know.
Listen, I think we should
have lunch or something.
You want me to have lunch with you?
Well, I mean, Jason too,
if you want.
Well, long as you keep him
bound and gagged.
Well, um, we could talk more easily
if it was just the two of us.
Okay.
Um, what about, uh, here,
tomorrow, at 2:00?
Yes, ver-very nice.
- I'll see you.
- Mm-hmm.
Mmm, friendly men in this town.
- Have a good evening now.
- Of course.
Hey, babe.
I used to be allergic to angora,
but I'm okay now.
I love to see a woman
with a good appetite.
You do?
I feel obliged to point out to you
that this man is a con artist
of the first rank.
Maybe he isn't.
How do you know?
So, where are you staying, Roone?
Well, I ain't exactly stayin' anywhere.
I just got off the bus
and come lookin' for you.
Well, we have a whole suite.
Why doesn't Roone stay with us?
Oh, no.
I couldn't crowd you guys.
We insist.
You know, this meal has not
satisfied my appetite one iota.
I got such a craving for some country
cookin', I'm gettin' downright homesick.
Shameless.
Hell, I only been out of Jupiter Hollow
one day, but I sure do miss it.
What do you miss about it?
Well, uh, my porch,
for one thing.
Nothin' like rockin' on your porch
around twilight time.
Yeah, your bones just go
as limp as a willow tree.
The shadow from the mountain
makes its way up my steps like a...
well, like an old friend
comin' to visit.
And the stars... I mean, that's about the
only thing crowded about Jupiter Hollow.
Right now, that sky'd be
plumb full of stars.
You know.
Kids playin' in the schoolyard.
Doors with no locks.
Folks who'll look you
straight in the eye and smile.
Yeah, people as close as corn
there in Jupiter Hollow.
You know, when Mother Nature
looks through her window...
Jupiter Hollow
is the view that she loves best.
The Colbyco board
has already approved the merger.
Adam, may I have
a glass of water, please?
Give 'em hell, Alexis!
Golly, look at her go.
She is just runnin' that whole company.
Would you turn that damn thing down?
I'm tryin' to think.
You have seen that episode
a thousand times.
Oh, I just love it
when she fires everybody.
I'm a very direct woman.
If I do not get your approval...
And please understand...
that I have controlling interest
in Denver-Carrington...
I shall fire you all on the spot
and replace you with a board
that will approve the merger.
- What's this?
- Oh, somethin' that guy
from the airport gave me.
- So, may I have a show of hands...
- Oh, my God.
- What's the matter?
- Oh, my God.
Um, just... just a minute.
Roone.
How could I go to sleep
without kissing you good night first?
Good night, darlin'.
No one's ever called me "darlin"'
like that before.
Well, I should hope not.
Look, I want you to keep this.
- And, uh, please don't fuss.
- Oh, no, no. Oh, no, l...
Roone, l... I couldn't.
Uh, well, uh,
I'd better go now, Rose.
Good night, sweetheart.
Good night.
Don't blame me. Don't blame me.
You're the one who lost him.
Well, he just bolted for the elevator.
What was I supposed to do,
wrestle him to the ground?
Roone!
Sure is nice of you boys
lettin' me bunk here.
Hey, that's classical music,
isn't it?
Uh, uh, yes. Yes, it is.
Yeah, I could tell. No lyrics.
So, what do you think of my plans?
Fabio, you fiend.
I'm in the mood for love
- Simply because you're near me
- Oh, my God. He's not a Ratliff.
His name is Roone Dimmick.
He's travelling with $25,
no credit cards and a harmonica.
- Will you look at this quilt.
- The workmanship!
Simply because
You're near me
Hey, I like your kimono.
Get that in 'Nam?
Uh, no. Fire Island.
Huh.
Well, let's all have a drinkie,
shall...
No, I think it's time
for beddie-bye.
- Chuck.
- Hmm?
Good night, Roone.
Don't tell me you two guys
are sleepin' in the same bed together.
- Yes.
- Gee, I feel awful about that.
Now, if you want, one of you can take
the couch and I'll share the bed.
Oh, we... That's very generous of you,
but, uh, we wouldn't hear of it.
You guys are all right.
Oh, wow.
How's the traffic out there
this morning, Joanna?
Well, we're starting out this morning
with the Long Island Expressway
bumper to bumper...
I am upset. There's only a hour
to the meeting, and we don't have
a chance of finding these people.
- Keep your voice down.
- We are not going to find the Ratliffs!
Is that all that's botherin' you
is findin' the Ratliffs?
Do you know where they are?
Sure. Just let me finish my Pop-Tarts
here, and I'll take you right to 'em.
- Morning, Rose.
- Morning, Sadie. You're late.
- I already ordered.
- Oh, good. Grapefruit.
Can you believe these guys?
First they bribe us to keep
our mouths shut. Then they hand us
a complete copy of their plans.
And if that isn't bad enough,
they got the nerve to charge $ 12.50
for four tiny little pancakes.
Oh, come on, Rose.
Rose, come on now. Look.
You got your butter
in the shape of a goldfish,
and you got your choice of syrups.
And I know how you like to mix
and match those syrups, and... Oh, look!
They got boysenberry.
Oh, Sadie, damn. Good bread.
Oh! Oh, Rose, look!
All over my brand new
polyester jacket.
Quick, do somethin'...
Well, go on and hurry and change.
Oh, I guess so. Okay.
Lord, my load is heavy.
Oh, good. A grapefruit.
- Where did you get that?
- Milan.
Well, it's awful.
Excuse me? I'm being criticized
by a grown woman wearing a bib?
We've got to make a good impression
with the stockholders, and you look like
you're runnin' a state prison.
Well, maybe
it's a trifle severe, but...
Oh, all right,
I'll change before the meeting.
Now, tell me more about Roone.
What are botherin' me
about Roone for?
- You know I'm worried about the meetin'.
- The "meetin"'?
Why are you worried
about the "meetin"'?
- What's got into you?
- Well, what's got into you? You know
the stockholders will do what we want.
- Can I get you ladies anything else?
- Do not even contemplate.
- Boy, you're bossy.
- Just the cheque, please.
Is that good enough for you?
Yeah, but it probably costs $50
for each little-bitty polka dot.
Listen, meet me back here.
All right?
- Good morning.
- Hi!
- I really must have that
polka-dotted number in my size.
- Oh!
- I'm a three.
- Uh...
A five.
Very well, give me a nine.
- Did you forget something?
- Oh! No, I don't think so.
Can you please tell me,
is my sister here?
Well, she was. She left.
Oh. Well, then I guess I'll just have
a little bit of something myself.
May I?
Oh, excuse me.
- Oh, l...
- Uh-uh. Let me guess.
- Pancakes.
- Yes.
Madam.
You can give these to the maid.
So, what do you think?
Sadie, I am so upset
about this Hollowmade sale,
I don't know what to think.
What are you worried about that for?
We're gonna march in there,
we're gonna set things right.
Set things "ra-aht"?
Right! Come on, let's go.
I knew I could c-count on you.
Keep the change.
Well, if I know the girls, they oughta
be havin' breakfast about now.
- The girls?
- We should have been
looking for two women.
We are so stupid!
Rose, I have to visit the toilet.
Well, we'd better hurry. The meeting.
And never say "toilet." Say "tee-tee."
Oh, look.
Well, they're not in there.
- I have to go "tee-tee."
- What are you talkin' about,
go visit the toilet?
Uh, hold on a second.
There they go.
Wait a minute!
Someone's in here!
Really!
Yoo-hoo.
What are we doing? I mean, look at us.
We are staking out a ladies' room.
Six more seconds, and we've got them.
Can you contain yourself
for six more seconds?
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!
Oh, you just get out of here!
They're clones.
What a cheap trick.
It's pod people!
I saw that movie!
- I was at the premiere!
- Get back! Get back!
There... There is no such thing
as pod people, is there?
- You're not my sister!
- And you're not my sister.
Thank God! Don't touch me.
Don't touch me, I say!
- Whoa!
- Ghastly! Ghastly!
- Are they real?
- They're robots. They want to kill us
a-a-a-and take our places.
- Oh, you've seen too many movies.
- You get back. You just get back.
- Shut up.
- We must be in some kind of...
- Now, there's got to be
an explanation for this.
- Parallel universe.
- That is the dumbest damn thing
I ever heard.
- P-Please don't shout.
Oh, you're such a hick.
There's UFO written all over this thing.
- They're probably relatives.
- Don't you ever talk to me that way.
- Relatives? How can they be?
Listen to them.
They're imbeciles.
- Now, listen...
- Now, listen,
I think what we oughta do...
- I think the thing we...
- Please stay calm.
- I really think that...
- No, you're not any more in charge!
- Be quiet.
- We're going to go clockwise,
starting with me.
- Well, how come you?
My God, it's me
with a bad haircut.
Bad? I paid 12 bucks for this.
I am going to kick your ass.
- I like it. I think that...
I think if we could all...
- Stop it!
All right, who are you,
and where the hell do you come from?
- Rosie, Rosie, my sister Rosie.
- I love it. Oh... Oh, my goodness me.
- We gotta figure out who's who here.
- Rosie.
- Boy, I sure hope I'm still me.
Rose, there's a chance
I could be her.
- Oh, God.
- Oh, isn't she divine?
- I know for a fact I'm not me. Boo-hoo.
- Damn, l-l-I just gotta be me.
- Rosie, wait for me.
- I can't wait to know!
- And then you went where?
- I work nights at the factory.
I make real nice spare parts.
- How many?
- Six brothers.
- And four sisters.
Sadie, ten.
You make eleven!
- You sure do.
- Oh! I can't believe it.
- Oh! Good morning.
- Good morning.
- Morning!
- Morning!
- Yes.
Hold it. I know who it was.
It was that rickety old Nanny Lewis.
She couldn't see worth a darn.
She spent her last days
puttin' diapers on chairs.
All my life I felt like I was
out of place, like I didn't belong.
And I didn't.
I hate my job.
I hate shopping.
I hate New York in June.
- How about you?
- I hate grits.
And I hate men who smell
like beer and bean dip.
And I hate makin' love
in the back of recreational vehicles.
- Am I rich now?
- We're all rich.
Oh, to hell with that.
We got a meetin' to get to.
We're all on the same side,
now that we're sisters.
- Right.
- Right?
Of course.
The meeting's already started.
Now, we can't all of us go in there
because the spectacle of all this
seems to upset people.
So, Rose, you take them
sightseeing.
I'll go in, call off the sale, and then
we'll all go to Elaine's for lunch.
- Elaine's?
- Elaine who?
How do we know that
you're gonna call off that sale?
- Oh, no.
- Well, of course I will.
Are you sure that while we're out there
lookin' at the Statue of Liberty...
you won't be in there
votin' so that Italian fella
can strip-mine Jupiter Hollow?
- Strip-mine?
- Yes.
- You lied to me.
- Would I strip-mine our birthplace?
Oh, no, you don't. You're the only one
that's gonna get strip-mined
if you walk through that door.
- You'd never miss that old sinkhole.
- Ohh! What did you say?
I'll buy you a nice little condo
on the East River.
- How dare you!
- Rosie! Rosie, help me with
this terrible, vulgar woman!
- Rosie! Rosie! I need your help!
- Don't you dare!
Sadie, l-I just have to.
Ohh. Ohh. Ohh. I've got her!
How could you do this to your own
sister? Sadie, don't let them to do
this! I'll share it all with you!
- No.
- Join me in this, and I'll show you
a life that'll make your head spin.
I'll introduce you to the most
glamourous people in the world.
- Joan Collins?
- Yes!
- No!
Sadie, I know you're shallow,
but you're not heartless.
- You don't wanna help
do in Jupiter Hollow!
- You're not one of them.
You're me. Look. We've even
got the same taste in clothes.
Yeah, and where in the hell did you
get the money to buy such a dress?
Or do I need to ask?
Come on, Sadie. Who needs
these dumb old hayseeds anyway?
I do.
Oh, grab her, quick!
In the closet! Throw her in!
- Oh, you're a Ratliff deep down inside.
- Open up, I tell you!
- I knew you were.
- Don't push it.
- Quick, go get that chair.
- Oh.
- Security! Help!
- I'd better stay with Sadie.
- Let me out!
- Oh, boy.
I can't wait to loose my lip
at those stockholders.
- Wait!
- Help!
- You can't.
- Why not?
Because no one will believe you. The one
who always does the talking is Sa...
You fools. They'll never fall for that.
They'll see right through her.
By the liquidation of the Hollowmade
factory, we'll double our corporate...
Open up! Let me out!
- Oh, just hold your horses!
- Let me out!
- Good morning, Bill and Tom.
- Bill, Tom.
Good morning.
Well, good morning, ladies and
gentlemen. Sorry if I'm a bit late.
Well, let's get right down to
new business, shall we? Hollowmade.
I have come to the conclusion...
- that the sale of Hollowmade
to Fabio, uh, uh...
- Alberici. Alberici. Alberici.
What's-his-face
is not in our best interest.
What?
Excuse me, Miss Shelton, but we were
just, uh, reminding the stockholders...
that you strongly advocate
liquidation.
Rose, darling, may I have
a glass of water, please?
- Certainly.
- I'm a very direct woman.
If I don't get your approval to
cancel this sale, please understand...
that l...
I have controlling interest
in Denver-C-Carrington...
uh, M-M-Moramax, and I...
uh, will not hesitate to fire you all
right here on the spot...
- and replace y'all
with a board that will go along.
- Miss Shelton.
This is outrageous!
We were told the sale
would make a huge profit.
Isn't that
what we're in business for?
What the hell's going on here?
- W-What Sadie means, um...
What she's trying to tell you is...
- W-W-W-W-W-W... l-l-l-l-l-l...
- I just want to say that... What...
- Uh, wait. Gentlemen,
I have something to say.
This deal is a fraud.
Mr. Alberici plans
to close down the factory...
and to strip-mine Jupiter Hollow.
You're probably wondering how come
all of the sudden we care about
this poor little Podunk town.
- Yes.
- Well, it's... it's...
it's simply because...
- Because?
- Because of...
of the terrible image problem
we've been facing.
As you well know, Moramax
has the image problem of...
- of a... of a...
- Of a...
- a...
- Pit bull!
Yes! Look, everyone hates us, and now
we're going to put 500 hard-working,
decent Americans out of work?
- They're not gonna take it lying down.
- They're not. They're... They're liable
to be arriving here any minute now.
- In pickup trucks.
- RVs!
- Factory workers picketing Moramax,
with wives, kids, dogs...
- Pigs!
- All right! Get on with it.
- Oh, look.
Ladies and gentlemen, we're asking you
to please say no to this sale...
not just because
it's going to spare 500 jobs...
not just because it's gonna save
10,000 acres of the most beautiful land
God ever put on this earth...
and certainly not just because
it's the right thing to do.
No, we appeal to you
as businesspeople.
We appeal to your
basic business instinct.
Yes, to save your own asses!
- What?
- Yes.
How many of you are in favour
of saving Jupiter Hollow?
You were wonderful.
So eloquent. You nailed 'em.
- Rose?
- Sadie!
- Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!
- Oh, oh, oh.
- That's him. He's here.
Two Sadies.
You.
Oh!
No, it's me, uh...
Think about it
There must be higher love
- Down in the heart
- What next?
- Or hidden in the stars above
- How about a nice, long weekend
on my yacht?
- Without it
- Mmm, we can describe the weekend...
- Life is wasted time
- as offshore drilling.
Look inside your heart
I'll look inside mine
Things look so bad everywhere
- Yes, yes, just like you read that.
- In this whole world, what is fair
I have been out of control
with that kid. I mean, absolutely
out of control with that kid.
We walk blind and we try to see
- Falling behind in what could be
- Rose, Rose.
- You remember me... the ring,
the dirty names? I'm sorry.
- O-Oh, you know, I'm so glad
to see you because...
I want to take you for some coffee.
You've got quite a mouth, haven't you?
L-I feel so good today.
I just saved Jupiter Hollow.
Bring me a higher love
- Where's that higher love
- Hey, let's get one of these.
I keep thinking of
Worlds are turning
- And we'rejust hanging on
- A nice front porch.
- With a rocker.
- Whoa there.
- Facing our fear
- And standing out there alone
- Oh, Roone.
- Ayearning
- Will I have a rocking chair too?
- Sure will.
- That is real to me
- Whoo!
- There must be someone
- Who's feeling for me
- Taxi.
Things look so bad everywhere
In this whole world, what is fair
We walk blind
and we try to see
Falling behind
In what could be
Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love, oh
- Bring me a higher love
- Excuse me. Good morning.
- We'd like a room.
- Where's that higher love
- Please?
- I keep thinking of
Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love, oh
Bring me a higher love
I could rise above
On a higher love
I will wait for it
I'm not too late for it
Until then
I sing my song
To chant the night along
Babe
I could light the night up
with my soul on fire
I could make the sun shine
from pure desire
Let me feel
that love come over me
Let me feel
how strong it could be
Oh, oh, oh
Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love, oh
Bring me a higher love
Where's that higher love
I keep thinkin'of
Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love, oh
- Bring me
- Bring me a higher love
Ohh
Bring me a higher love
Oh, oh, bring me higher
Bring me a higher love
- Bring me
- Bring me a higher love, oh
- I said, bring me
- Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
- Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa
With a higher love
- Bring me a higher love
- Oh
- Bring me a higher love
- Bring me a higher love
- Bring it on home
- That love, bring me a higher love
- Bring me a higher love
It's that love, whoa
- Bring me a higher love
- I said, bring me
Bring me a higher love
Oh, yeah, bring me higher
Bring me a higher love