Look at the water.
- What's this?
- Towel.
- What kind of towel?
- Super towel.
What does the super towel get
the super boy? Super clean, right?
Super boy.
That's super boy. Super, super clean.
Super wet.
Who's this?
Jeremiah.
He's a Jeremiah.
It's Jeremiah versus Moby Dick.
Jeremiah was a bullfrog
Was a good friend of mine
Never understood a single word he said
But I helped him drink his wine
Singing joy to the worid
All the boys and girls now
Joy to the fishes
In the deep blue sea
Joy to you and me
- Yes, this is Dr. Cooper.
- What's that?
Superman. Super nothing.
That's super nothing!
That's right, super boy is not
getting out of this tub...
...until he's as clean as a whistle.
And super mom is going
to be very happy.
I can't move that far.
Come here. Come here.
Head on down.
Down onto the end.
Come on.
Right on down there.
There's a spot.
- Harold.
- Sam.
Christ.
- Here, I'll get it.
- No, I'll get it.
Let me put it in here.
You can drive
this to the cemetery.
Oh, Christ.
Were you here?
What? No, Alex was staying
down here at the summer house.
Sarah and I were up at
the Richmond place with the kids.
- Well, you're looking fit.
- So are you.
Listen...
I want you to sit with Chloe.
I've got to be up there, and it's
a little tricky with Alex's folks.
I understand.
Who's Chloe?
It's Alex's girlfriend.
I'll take care of her.
Chloe, this is Michael.
This is Chloe.
Do you want to sit up with us?
I'm going to sit here
by myself for a while, okay?
Sometimes...
...it is hard for us to believe...
...that the good Lord had a plan.
This is one of those times.
I didn't know
Alex Marshall personally.
But after speaking
with his loved ones...
...I feel that I do.
A brilliant physics student
at the University of Michigan...
...who paradoxically chose to
turn his back on science...
...and taste of life
through a seemingly...
...random series of occupations.
When a man like Alex...
...chooses to leave us, there is
something wrong in this worid.
I'm a pallbearer.
This is not Alex.
This is the empty shell of his body.
Alex is spirit now.
But why are we left with this?
It makes me angry.
And I don't know
what to do with my anger.
Are not the satisfactions
of being a good man...
...among our common men...
...great enough to sustain us anymore?
Where did Alex's hope go?
Maybe that is the small resolution...
...we can take from here today.
To try to...
...regain that hope...
...that must have eluded Alex.
I did know Alex.
And I loved him.
See here today all those people
that Alex loved.
Not all of us have been able to see
each other much these last years.
But neither time nor distance...
...could break the bonds that we feel.
Alex drew us together
from the beginning.
Now he brings us together again.
I don't know...
...why this happened.
But I do know...
...that there was always something
about Alex...
...that was too good for this world.
I only hope...
...that wherever he is now...
Burial...
...will be at Westglade Memorial Park.
There will be a reception...
...at the home of Harold and
Sarah Cooper...
...immediately following.
And now...
...Karen Bowles, an old college friend
of Alex's...
...will play one of Alex's
favourite songs.
Nicholas, this is Richard.
Pleasure to meet you.
I just met Meg earlier.
Just before the-
Can I go over there?
Sam Weber, this is Richard.
Really enjoy your TV show.
My boys and I watch it all the time.
Thank you.
Well, we'll see you out there.
What is this?
It's pretty strong stuff.
I feel terrible.
Last time I spoke with Alex,
we had a fight.
I yelled at him.
That's probably why he killed himself.
What was the argument about?
I told him he was wasting his life.
You all right?
Yeah.
I'm a little disappointed, though.
I wanted to ride up there.
I've always wanted to ride
in a limo.
I do half my work in limos.
Are you a chauffeur?
No, a journalist.
I write for People magazine.
I can't believe you're still mad
about that thing.
This isn't the time.
Just drop it.
I will if you will. Today most of all
we should remember we're friends.
And you're an actor?
Nothing like you described.
Not at all.
Not one of those people looks
like I thought they would.
I can't believe these are the people
you've talked about all these years.
I'd love to hear the way you
describe me to them.
Amazing tradition. They throw you
a party on the one day you can't come.
So how long were they together?
Four months.
Can't believe it.
His funeral and she's stoned.
Karen and I are staying here tonight.
We fly back to Detroit in the morning.
Are you staying?
I have to fly
out to Dallas tonight.
I'm interviewing
a 14-year-old blind baton twirler.
Where do you
get those stories?
It's just good
investigative journalism.
- How's your life?
- Great.
- Yours?
- Not so great.
We're telling the truth.
You heard about my divorce.
Yeah, I'm really sorry.
Are you J.T. Lancer?
No, no, that's the character I play.
I'm Sam Weber.
Can I have your autograph,
whoever you are?
You think it's time we
should be thinking about Alex?
I'll give you a buck.
Okay, you're on.
You'd never get a crowd
this big at my funeral.
Come on. I'll come,
and I'll bring a date.
I know this is hard for you,
but it's all beautiful.
We put on a great funeral here.
Maybe I'll have mine here too.
We give first preference to people who
kill themselves in our bathroom.
That was a terrible thing to say.
I don't know why I said that.
That's why I don't smoke anymore.
Dope makes me stupid.
You talking about me?
Here's the guy who did this to me.
I no longer know
how to handle myself stoned.
You don't have to
handle yourself with us.
Will you marry me?
Both of you?
That shit they got
about your marriage wasn't from me.
I didn't know they were doing a story,
or why you don't believe me.
- Let's drop it!
- Say you believe me.
I believe you.
I always believe you.
Honest to God, I know it's crap.
That's why I'm getting out.
Yeah? What're you going to do?
I'm opening a club.
No shit!
Like Elaine's, but hipper.
Elaine's is dead.
You got the money?
Almost, almost.
Well, let me know.
What do you mean?
I might be interested.
Really?
So you and Alex were staying here?
We have a room downstairs.
Well, we did.
I do.
I found him.
God, it must have been awful.
It was. It was a real mess.
What will you do now?
We cleaned it up.
Are you going to stay here?
Yeah, till Sarah kicks me out.
I'm sure she'd never do that.
That's right, if I may.
That's why I'm calling, Jim.
That way, I can have a piece for you
this week and next week...
Give me a break.
I'll fly to Dallas on Monday.
She won't regain
her eyesight over the weekend.
I know, but I think I've got
something good right here.
I don't know.
It's about everything.
Suicide, despair, where did our
hope go...
Lost hope.
That's it, lost hope.
You think everything's boring.
You wouldn't say that
if it was the "Lost Hope Diet."
Michael's office called.
He doesn't have to be
in Dallas till Monday.
He asked to stay the weekend.
Harold, you didn't.
What could I say?
He knows that Sam is staying...
...and Karen, Richard and Meg.
Meg's not staying.
Well, actually...
Where will we put them?
We'll make room.
Hi, guys.
- Hey, Nick.
- How you doing?
Good.
Advertising's all right.
A lot of bullshit
with clients and stuff.
But it's all right.
It's a decent living.
Not as much as we spend, of course.
Just kidding.
It's exactly as much as we spend.
What have you got, an oil leak?
Can I give you a hand?
I think I got it.
I feel like I have never been
alone in my own house.
Never. Either Richard is there,
or the boys or the housekeeper.
Remember those lab rats who went
crazy when deprived of privacy?
They're living with you too?
- Should we push the beds together?
- Why?
Okay. How about further apart?
In January we open in Greensboro.
And in April, our second store
in Charleston.
How many is that now?
Twenty-seven and twenty-eight.
Better watch out.
Some big monster will buy you.
We've had offers.
Who would've thought we'd both
make so much bread?
Two revolutionaries.
Good thing it's not
important to us.
Fuck them if they can't
take a joke.
Chloe. Hi, you there?
I just wanted to...
...make sure you're okay.
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- Good.
Thanks, Michael.
Come along?
Are you kidding?
So I'm in the Philadelphia Public
Defender's office.
My clients were the scum of the earth.
Extreme repulsivos.
One of them got caught
in the house.
He and his friends beat up
the husband, rape the wife...
...then tried to blow the place up.
When I ask what happened, he says:
"I was in Montreal at the time."
Who'd you think your clients would be?
Grumpy and Sneezy?
Huey and Bobby.
I don't know.
I just didn't think they'd be...
...so guilty.
And then?
Then I left.
A law school friend is at a firm
in Atlanta doing real estate law.
I went to see them.
The offices were very clean...
...and the clients were only
raping the land...
...and then of course
there was the money.
El greedo strikes again.
Sarah has that robe.
Not this weekend she doesn't.
I always jump her
when she wears it.
Harold, don't you
have any other music?
Like, from this century?
There is no other music in my house.
There's been a lot of terrific music
in the last 10 years.
Like what?
How about you, Michael?
Tell us about big-time journalism.
Where I work we have
only one editorial rule:
No writing longer than an average person
can read during an average crap.
I'm tired of having
my work read in the can.
People read Dostoyevsky in the can.
But they can't finish it.
This certainly is a familiar scene.
I'm feeling very guilty about it.
I'm happy to be here,
but I'm sick about the reason.
I'm going to bed.
I'm sorry.
We could talk about something else.
That's okay. I'm exhausted.
Good night, everyone.
I'll be up in a minute.
Good night, Sarah.
Harold, I'm sorry.
We all feel that way.
I forget what this is like.
In L.A., I don't know who to trust.
I feel like everybody
wants something from me.
I know that sounds terrible,
but it's true.
Tell me about it.
It's a cold world out there.
Sometimes I think
I'm getting frosty myself.
I don't know what people
think about me.
I don't know why they like me,
or even if they do like me.
You don't have
that problem here.
You know I don't like you.
Me either.
Ditto.
So relax.
Assholes.
I was just coming down.
Don't.
What are we doing?
I didn't get to talk to you before.
You got me stoned too quick.
But I'm okay now.
I'm just drunk and therefore brave.
I've always been
a cowardly drunk myself.
I bought the land three years ago.
He and Chloe were working on it.
There's an old house they were fixing up.
It's really pretty. I can take you
out there tomorrow if you want.
That's what I don't get.
It's one of the things I don't get.
He was really
involved in that.
It seemed to really mean
something to him.
I went with him three weeks ago
to buy a table saw.
Why does he do a thing like that?
I should've known.
- How could you know?
- Nobody knew.
I can't even believe it now.
I don't care.
I should've known.
All I want is a little warmth.
What?
Sweetheart?
Did I ever tell you...
...what happened to me in Vietnam?
It's a fucking bat, and I think
it touched my hair!
I hate them!
They're like rats with wings.
No, pigeons are rats with wings.
- They're harmless. They eat mosquitos.
- I'm going to wash my hair and puke.
- Puke first, of course.
- Stand aside!
That's cashmere!
Give me that.
I'll be right bat.
Where'd it go?
Listen for it.
It makes weird sound.
Kind of:
It's quiet in here.
It's too quiet.
Shit!
Look out, Nick!
Behind you.
Here, let me open this.
Maybe it'll split.
All right!
Okay, now we got a fair fight.
Keep your mouth shut.
I'll do the talking.
You can't go in there.
I told you never to
walk in here without knocking.
What's this?
I'm not sure.
What's it about?
I don't know.
Who's that?
I think the guy in the hat
did something terrible.
- Who wants to be next?
- Like what?
You're so analytical.
Sometimes you just have to let art...
...flow over you.
I'm hungry.
I had this really dirty dream.
Was it about Karen?
- Why do you say that?
- Why should anything have changed?
You're the one she always wanted.
In the old days, I wasn't emotionally
equipped to satisfy her.
Now the equipment doesn't
work at all.
Why do we have to talk about that?
Come on in the kitchen with me.
I think she found what she was
looking for in Richard.
Be careful what you want,
young lady...
...or you will surely get it.
What're you doing up?
Why didn't you come in?
I didn't realize anybody else was up.
I've been thinking
about your friend Alex.
Did you ever meet him?
Karen's told me some.
I'm imagining mostly.
I never sleep through the night.
Insomnia. Karen doesn't know.
I might have something
that can help.
No, thanks.
I don't mind it.
Sometimes when my family's asleep,
I sit downstairs and it's so quiet.
I hate not being able to sleep,
but I don't mind the time alone.
Sometimes I think the thing about kids
is their instant priorities.
You know you must
protect and provide for them...
...and sometimes it means your life
isn't exactly how you want it to be.
There's some...
...asshole at work you
have to kowtow to...
...and sometimes you do things
you never thought you'd do.
But you try to
minimize that stuff...
...and be the best person
you can be.
But you set your priorities.
And that's the way life is.
I wonder if
your friend Alex knew that.
He couldn't live with it.
I know I shouldn't talk.
You guys knew him.
But the thing is...
...nobody said it was
going to be fun.
At least nobody said it to me.
You can't run in those shoes.
I'll get you some good shoes.
I'm about to tell you something I'm
not supposed to tell anyone.
Then maybe you shouldn't.
I already told Alex.
Look what happened to him.
In a few months, a very large
corporation...
...a conglomerate, is going to
buy my very small company.
Anyone who has our stock
will triple their money.
That's how Alex could afford
to buy the land.
I was thinking you could use
the information...
...to get into another line of work.
You never learn, do you?
By telling you, I've violated about 16
regulations...
...of the Securities Exchange
Commissin.
So please don't repeat it.
Repeat what?
I loved Alex.
What happened between
him and Sarah...
...hurt, I can't deny that.
But that was five years ago.
We all got over it.
I think they felt as bad as I did.
You know...
...they only slept together
a few times.
But in a way, their affair
had been going on since Ann Arbor.
She didn't marry Alex.
You'll explain everything?
I'll explain to them.
Have a safe trip.
That's the trouble with these.
You must watch them every minute.
Did I miss Karen and Richard?
Nope.
Just Richard.
Karen's staying the weekend.
But not Richard?
Went back to be with the kids.
That's interesting.
How did Richard feel about it?
If you sleep this late,
you'll miss a few mini-dramas.
I just hope you'll wake me
for anything ugly.
How do actors learn all those lines?
How do you remember them?
My wife used to run them with me,
but now my maid does.
- Your maid?
- That's how she learned English.
Sarah says to make three
of those milks nonfat.
Sure you don't mind this?
I'll never remember that.
Will you?
I don't know.
If we'd gotten married, we'd
go shopping like this.
No, if we'd gotten married,
I'd be doing this alone.
No, I did not say that, Molly.
I said we'll see.
I don't have to
explain it, young lady.
I want you to do it because I said so.
Understand?
When you're a mother you can be mean.
All right, you can do that.
Tell Carmelina I said it's okay.
I love you, sweetheart.
Daddy will call you later.
Sometimes I don't believe
what I hear myself saying.
So you came back from Vietnam...
...a changed man.
Well, why don't you just
tell everybody?
Then, in 1972...
...you returned to the University of
Michigan...
...to enter the doctoral program
in psychology.
But you couldn't seem to
finish that dissertation.
I could have. I chose not to.
I'm not hung up on
this completion thing.
Then you had many jobs,
all of which you quit.
What are you getting at?
I was evolving.
I'm still evolving.
But your real fame came
as a radio psychologist...
...on KSFO in San Francisco.
I wouldn't call it fame exactly.
I had a small...
...deeply disturbed following.
What are you doing...
...now?
Or I should say,
what have you evolved into now?
Oh, I'm in sales.
What are you selling?
I don't have to answer that.
We're leaving.
Have you seen Chloe?
We're on the air here.
Sorry.
Sorry, pal. Got to go.
Just answer that last question.
I said, "I've got to go."
So what happened to your partner?
He wasn't my partner.
He had the idea for the club.
He's out of it now.
We weren't conducive.
We got together and hypered
each other into a frenzy.
His wife left for a younger woman,
he couldn't make love.
He was hospitalized for
being such a nerd.
So he's out of it?
Yeah, he's out. It's just me,
looking for investors.
Alex and I made love the night
before he died. It was fantastic.
He went out with a bang,
not a whimper.
They're either married or gay.
If they're not gay, they've broken up
with the most wonderful woman...
...or they've broken up with a bitch
who looks like me.
They're in transition from a monogamous
relationship and need space.
Or they're tired of space,
but can't commit.
Or they want to commit
but are afraid to get close.
They want to get close and you don't
want them near.
Can't be that bad.
You don't know.
I've been out there dating
for 20 years.
I know in the first 15 seconds
if there's a chance in the worid.
At least you're
giving them a fair shot.
Easy for you to say.
Married to Harold, the perfect man.
Sometimes I think I don't
want a man anymore.
So here I sit on my
ticking biological clock.
The only thing I've known my entire life
is that I want to have a child.
Don't remind me.
It was the right thing to do at the time.
So what do you do?
I'm going to have a baby.
What?
She was young when
Robin and I divorced.
Now she has a new father.
Sometimes I think it's confusing
to her when I'm around.
I don't know.
- I don't need it.
- God knows I don't.
- We should think of the others.
- Don't want to be selfish.
I know Sarah and Meg would
want some of this Fudge Royale.
They have no self-control.
And the Cherry Nugget too, I think.
I don't know.
Maybe I don't want to
give her the time.
Could I be that big an asshole?
It's one giant toilet.
Maybe you should put a spot like
this in your club.
It will be big.
You should take it more seriously.
You'd have your own table
waiting at all times.
I'm considering it.
I've always wanted my own table.
Now, I'd have a chair too, right?
Remember senior year we were all going to
buy that land near Saginaw?
What happened with that?
We didn't have any money.
That's when property was a crime.
You know, it's raining.
It's nice, isn't it?
Nice.
You're not afraid of snakes, are you?
You're a doctor.
Doctors know everything.
Be supportive for a minute and
shut up.
I've been taking my temperature
and I know I'm ovulating.
The ground is ready.
I need someone to plant the seed.
Who's going to be the lucky farmer?
These are the best guys I know.
My favourite men in the worid.
Unfortunately, I found out Nick is
no longer a candidate.
Michael's a possibility,
but I think as a fallback position.
So to speak.
So that leaves Sam.
- Harold's not good enough for you?
- Are you kidding? I'd love it.
But I couldn't ask that of you.
Anyway, Harold's got enough kids.
That's very considerate.
Too bad Richard left.
Have you and Sam discussed it, or
are you planning a surprise attack?
Why should he have a problem with it?
There won't be obligations.
I love him as a friend.
I assume he loves me.
He'd do anything for me.
Somehow I feel it isn't quite
this simple.
For one thing, it doesn't
always happen the first time.
That's not what they told
us in high school.
This is great.
This is really great.
Alex loved this place.
I can understand it.
It's terrific.
You remind me of Alex.
I ain't him.
Nobody thinks they're
a bad person.
I don't claim people
think they do the right thing.
They may know they do
dishonest or manipulative things...
...but think there's a good reason
for it.
They think it'll turn out
for the best.
If it turns out best for them, it
is by definition what's best.
You also come up against
a question of style.
My style may be too direct.
Perhaps given my style
I seem more nakedly...
...opportunistic or jerky or...
What was the other thing?
- Manipulative?
- Whatever.
All that's happening is
I'm trying to get what I want.
Which is what we all do, but
their styles are so warm...
...you don't realize
they're trying to get what they want.
So my transparent efforts
are more honest and admirable.
Why does this sound
like a massive rationalization?
Don't knock rationalization.
Where would we be without it?
I don't know anyone who can go a day
without 2 or 3 rationalizations.
They're more important than sex.
Nothing's more important than sex!
Ever gone a week
without a rationalization?
What's your shoe size?
Six and a half.
Still the best way to determine
if it's ready.
- Meg, what's your shoe size?
- Who wants to know?
What, it's about a six and a half?
It used to be, but now it's seven.
- Your feet grow as you get older.
- I wish everything did.
How much longer?
Everything's getting cold.
After 12 years you haven't
learned to make anything else?
- I've improved on it.
- Now it's edible?
- The meal is ready. Let's go.
- J.T. Lancer!
Let's go watch this incredible show!
Oh, my God!
Come on, Sam.
Jesus.
Look at that hunk of man, kids.
He's so handsome.
Jesus!
Look out!
You forgot your Dramamine.
- Turn that off.
- No, it's great!
Does the suit
come with the machete?
You're dashing.
Dashing!
Why are you doing this to me?
You look great!
There she is.
I interviewed this girl.
Where is this?
I'm going to Hollywood.
"I want a Margarita now!"
Kids, don't try that at home.
That's a warning.
Watch out for that stick shift!
- Two at once?
- He's done a lot of pec work.
My favourite part!
Here it is.
- Say, baby, let's eat.
- Come on, big guy!
- The pasta's ruined now.
- You get money when that airs?
One thing I do want is
a Cosmic Invaders game for my trailer...
...so Nick and I can watch it
and kick back.
- What? I don't want to hear this.
- What do you mean?
Video games?
You relax with video games?
Don't knock video games.
I let you guys out of sight and you
develop moronic interests.
Don't knock morons.
Would you prefer we got
into heavy drugs?
That might be better.
No offense, Nick.
He should be here.
I feel like we should've
had a chair for Alex.
Of course, we don't have
enough food.
This is all so familiar.
I love you all so much.
That sounds gross, doesn't it?
No, it doesn't.
I feel I was at my best
when I was with you people.
I know what you mean.
When I lost touch with this group...
...I lost my idea of what I should be.
Maybe that's what happened to Alex.
We expected something of each other then.
We needed that.
Not me.
Getting away from you people
was the best thing to ever happen to me.
I mean, how much sex, fun,
friendship can one man take?
Had to get out in the worid,
get dirty.
No, I think Sam is right.
There was something in me then...
...that made me want to go to Harlem
and teach ghetto kids.
I was going to help the scum, as I so
compassionately call them now.
Some of them are scum.
Some of us are scum.
So what's the thrust here?
We were great then and we're shit now?
I don't buy that.
That's not what we're saying.
I don't know.
I'd hate to think it was all just...
...fashion.
What?
Our commitment.
It wasn't.
We accomplished things.
- All evidence to the contrary.
- You're just taking a position.
Sometimes I think
I've put that time down...
...just so I can live with
how I am now.
Help me with these bleeding hearts.
I know what Alex would say.
What?
What's for dessert?
I'm not cynical about dessert.
- Want to load the dishwasher?
- I'd be thrilled.
I think I've just been too slow
to realize...
...that people our age with histories
like ours...
...having gone through the same stuff...
...could be dishonest, unprincipled,
backstabbing sleazeballs.
Could have told you that
a long time ago.
I was prejudiced in their favor.
I thought because they look like us...
...and talked like us they would
think like us.
I know that Richard
will always be faithful to me.
That's nice.
A little trust.
Fear of herpes.
It's not right.
Alex is still warm.
Can't blame Chloe.
She's a kid.
Michael hasn't changed.
Wait.
What?
Ever meet Michael's girlfriend,
Annie?
She's great.
She teaches the fourth grade.
Still teaching in Harlem.
It's not right.
I can't keep my eyes open.
I don't want to
go to bed, but I must.
- You really don't want to?
- I must.
But you don't...
...want to?
Come with me.
What?
You want me to what?
Come on, Sam.
Don't make me say it again.
You've given me a massive headache.
You're not going to
use that old excuse, are you?
You've got good genes.
Where'd Chloe go?
She's coming right back.
No, I'm not in the mood.
Wait a minute.
What is that, a lude?
You want it?
Do you take a half?
Full stomach, I'd take a whole.
Right, I'm sure you would.
What the hell. L'Chaim!
There's a shift in your
perceptions of the world.
Forever you're responsible for another
living thing.
It's wonderful.
But it's a huge commitment.
A commitment that has nothing to do...
...with legal names
and legal obligations.
I'm sorry, Meg.
I'd love to help you but I can't.
You know, you're something.
I love you.
- Really, I can't.
- I accept that!
I mean, I really love you.
You're a nice person.
Really?
So you want to fuck?
Just kidding!
Then one day I was driving home.
They were running a tape
of one of my shows.
I heard myself talking
to someone who had called up.
Someone in real pain.
I listened for about 45 seconds.
And I'm talking...
...like I know them and understand...
...and have something
useful to say about their lives.
The worst part was they
believed me.
I quit the next day.
You helped me.
I was 15 and my family was
living in Oakland.
And I used to
listen to you every night.
One night I called you up.
I was upset and thought
something was wrong with me.
- Like I was a pervert.
- What did I say?
That I'd be okay if I did
my homework...
...and went to bed at a reasonable hour.
You were right. It was okay.
You helped.
I don't want to discuss this now.
Why? You have more people
to tell about the stock thing?
It's really a charming side of you.
Remind me to
get more cocaine tomorrow.
If you tell everyone about the stock deal,
it will blow up in your face.
Who will you tell next? Michael?
He came down here to find investors for
that moronic club of his.
- He came down for Alex's funeral.
- Maybe.
You are in no condition
to discuss this now.
You can't change people's lives!
Who do you think you are,
John Beresford Tipton?
I'm going to sleep.
How can you go to sleep?
I'm not even tired.
Some say suicide is
the ultimate act of self-absorption.
Alex didn't commit suicide.
It was an accident.
That's right, he was shaving.
Alex had hairy wrists.
Masturbation's the ultimate act
of self-absorption.
You jerk off?
Does a bear have fleas?
No, does a bear
shit in the woods?
Does a bear jerk off?
I shit in the woods,
but I can't jerk off.
We're trying to avoid
dealing with Alex.
Every time it comes up,
someone changes the subject.
It's a dead subject.
I get real tired of these jokes.
What are we afraid of?
To show our emotions?
Are we mad at him for
leaving no explanations?
I could say something funny
about that. But I won't.
Great, they got here early.
Thanks, Toby.
I appreciate it.
Yes, sir, Mr. Cooper.
It was my pleasure.
Yes, sir, Mr. Cooper. Sir.
Give me a break, that's my name.
Mr. Weber.
So you just fell asleep?
That's what I just said,
didn't I?
About five times.
I didn't know him in the biblical sense.
Is that clear?
I don't know why you're touchy.
I don't know why you're curious.
These feel great.
I'm never taking these off.
I will sleep in them.
Which doesn't mean he'll
have sex with them.
Is there any salt and pepper, please?
What do you think about
this latest brainstorm of Michael's?
I'm not sure I want to be part owner
of a jet-set greasy spoon.
Think we could
stall him for a while?
What is that?
Nick wanted to
take a look at the property.
He'll be back before
the game starts.
Thanks.
Are we the first ones up?
You remember.
Alex used to call me Sam the Sham.
Don't say that.
It was real.
I stood with thousands of people
listening to you. You moved them.
Now I reach
millions of people every week.
Hell, it's just garbage.
That's not true.
You entertain people.
God knows, we need that now.
I try.
I try once every show
to put something of value in there.
- But I don't know.
- You do.
I can see it.
I feel my kids have
gotten something from J.T. Lancer.
Really?
Kids.
There you go.
You've done something.
You and Richard have
built something for yourselves.
You know the secret of Richard?
Remember my father?
I didn't want that
to happen to me.
Richard looked like all that
had been missing in my childhood.
A man like that could
build a stable environment for children.
And he did.
It's just that now...
What?
Well, you know.
Tell me.
Well, it's not like
talking to you.
All my life, deep inside...
...I felt there was something I wanted
to express...
...but always felt, I don't know,
stymied.
I'm proud of what I did.
I'm doing a good job of raising my sons.
If it meant giving up
my writing, that's the way it goes.
- You don't remember my writing.
- Sure I do.
It's just poems and short stories.
I didn't show it to many people.
Why talk about it?
I made my decisin.
My children come first.
It's just that now it leaves
kind of a...
...I don't know, a space.
And all of Richard's...
...country clubs and home improvements
and business deals...
...are pretty superficial stuff.
I'm not complaining.
Well, maybe I am.
Sorry.
It's just...
...being with you...
...opens me up somehow.
Forgive me?
Hail to the conquering heroes.
Come on, the game's starting!
You don't want to miss
any of the Blue.
Yes, you do, all right.
And you were ready to write
this one off at 10-0.
- I didn't say anything about that.
- I saw that smile.
That pass, I can't believe it.
Go, go, go!
A flag? What?
What are they calling that?
- What is that?
- Clipping.
That was a clean hit.
- He clipped him.
- What are you talking about?!
Clipping.
Called against Michigan.
Sorry, Chloe.
Come on, Blue, you're not supposed to
fold till the fourth quarter.
Don't heckle Bo.
He's got enough pressure.
Where is Nick?
I can't believe he's missing this.
Teach them the basics, Bo.
Ugliest helmets in the worid.
I don't know.
Sometimes I wonder
if I was sick of being a good girl.
I could be counted on
to do the right thing.
It's a disgusting curse.
Probably thought Alex could touch
that part of me...
...that was unpredictable and magic.
The part I was always afraid of.
Who knows if it's even there?
When it was over, everything
went back to how it was before.
That's what we all agreed.
That's what we all said.
I was sorry everyone knew, but that was
as much my fault as anything.
Of course...
...things weren't really the same.
Alex withdrew from me then.
I was probably different with him.
We never wanted Harold to think that...
You can imagine.
So we finally consummated
this ancient lurking passin.
All it had done was
put up a wall in our friendship.
What?
He's not passing!
Nobody in the area.
Who was he passing to?
I'm sure you're happy.
He threw it right to you!
Idiot!
They're flying up a new quarterback
from Texas or something.
What? I didn't throw the ball.
So what am I, chopped liver?
- What are you talking about?
- You know.
- No, I don't.
- You know.
You asked Sam.
What is this, published somewhere?
You know we can do it.
We've done it.
Remember the march on Washington?
Armies of the night?
I remember.
I thought you'd be grateful.
- You're sweeping me off my feet.
- I thought you wanted a kid.
Thank you, Michael.
This is a big decisin.
I'll get back to you
in the third quarter.
Look at this! This could be us!
The next generation.
It could be.
Think about it.
Think!
Shit.
- How you doing, Harold?
- Not bad.
This guy claims to be a guest.
That true?
Depends. What'd he do?
- For one, he ran a red light.
- No, I didn't.
- He became verbally abusive.
- You got etiquette laws here?
He could be one of them Yankee
drug dealers we sometimes get...
...passing through on their way
to Florida.
This is my lawyer.
I don't have to take this.
It's true, officer.
Do you have probable cause?
Excuse me, aren't you J.T. Lancer?
Yes, sir, Officer.
I'll be.
What's that make you, Perry Mason?
You know, Pete.
He does look suspicious to me too.
Let's take him out back
and kick the shit out of him.
Must be quick.
The second half of the game's starting.
I'd be willing to drop this
whole thing...
...if you could persuade Mr. Lancer
into showing us...
...how he hops into
that sports car on TV.
I'd really appreciate it.
I watch that show every week
and I've always wondered.
Myself, I always have to open
the damn car door.
You have a hard top.
Don't do it.
Go for it.
I don't believe this.
Damn it!
It's not that bad, guys!
Don't talk.
Don't try to talk.
Make sure you keep his arm up.
Am I going to need a tetanus shot?
- You won't amputate, will you?
- I got to see.
What about my career?
I am sorry.
I thought they could do that stuff.
It's not your fault.
- Enjoy that second half, now.
- Will do.
Since when did you
get so friendly with cops?
You know, you're fucking stupid.
Stupid!
That cop has twice kept
this house from being ripped off.
Happens to be a hell of a guy.
And you...
Come on, what is it?
What is it with you?
Is jail another experience to try?
See what it's like?
You know, I live here.
This place means something to me.
I'm dug in.
I don't need this shit.
You know, I really can do it.
It's these damn running shoes.
They practically kill me.
We know you can.
Being a private eye
is dangerous work.
I got to get
back to the game, coach.
Walk.
We're deep in the third quarter.
Just testing.
A little joke.
Michael has graciously
agreed to act as stud for me.
A repeat performance.
He didn't say that, did he?
Well, it's almost that romantic.
What are you going to do?
I can't do it with him.
Too much history, it's not right.
I can't believe this.
I'm just deciding this as we speak.
It's not going to happen this weekend.
Maybe it's a sign from God
that I should reconsider.
Too bad I'm an atheist.
- Like what?
- Say anything.
Tell us about your past.
- I lived with Alex.
- Before that.
Before that.
Randy.
I don't like talking
about my past as much as you guys do.
Okay, I'll buy that.
Can you tell us
something about Alex?
Well, he was cute.
He said we made a good couple because I
had no expectations and he had too many.
He believed in reincarnation.
He never ate meat.
He said he was afraid
he would come back someday as a steak.
He said he should have
accepted that Rutledge fellowship.
What's the matter, Nick?
Two, three, four.
The biggest mistake I made was not
trying harder to steal you from Nick.
You know I always
wanted you to try.
I never got that feeling.
I guess you weren't
paying attention.
It's a little late now, isn't it?
Is it?
What are you saying?
I think you know.
I think you've known
this whole weekend.
Wait, you mean you and Richard...?
See?
You've always been able to read me.
You know my life with Richard
isn't working.
Well, I knew you two
weren't exactly...
But I didn't think-
I'm going to leave him.
Let's get the Wonton Express rolling.
You want to come along?
No, you go ahead.
I'll be right here.
Just climb in there regular, okay?
Listen to those guys.
Goddamn!
Remember the night we
saw them in Cobo?
No, you probably don't.
You were hallucinating
pretty bad that night.
We didn't even have any drugs.
Have you noticed anything
unusual about this weekend?
Other than Alex dying?
I've been getting
some pretty weird propositions.
I don't think I could
live down here all the time.
Last year I went to Hawaii
with my friend Reena.
We ate at a Chinese restaurant.
When they brought the fortune cookies...
...hers said,
"You'll never amount to anything."
I don't believe it.
"Friendship is the bread of life..."
Wait a minute!
"...but money is the honey."
It doesn't say that.
- You're kidding.
- That's great!
Even fortune cookies
are getting cynical!
Cynical?
It's pragmatic.
I think it's touching.
There's nothing I'd rather
do right now than make love to you.
When it's over...
...come into my life.
You and your kids
come out to L.A., move into my house.
There's plenty of room.
It's lovely, it's great.
I can't do that.
It has to do with Robin.
No, it's not that.
My marriage is completely over.
When Robin and I broke up,
I had a million good reasons.
A million things that
were wrong with her, wrong with us.
When I think back on it now...
...and see my daughter with her new
father, I realize what broke us up.
What really did it,
and I hate to admit it, even now.
What did it was...
...boredom.
I couldn't stick with it.
I'd hate to see you
make that same mistake.
You're a much better person than that.
Don't give me that shit!
For 15 years, you've acted like
I'm the one you really wanted.
You made sure everyone knew.
And now I come down here-
Don't be mad at him, honey.
Well, it's called an anus.
I'm sure it is boring to
hear it 20 times, but just ignore him.
All right.
Yes. Just a minute.
She's right here.
No, just hold on.
Hello, muffin.
How are you?
You got it? Great!
You did?
When I saw it, I said I have one friend
in the worid who'd appreciate it.
That's going
to be our little secret.
As soon as your
mommy and daddy say you can.
When do you get off from school?
So what would that have meant?
What do you mean?
It would've told us something.
What are you talking about?
Meg is pissed off because
Alex didn't leave a note.
- Could he summed it up in a note?
- Maybe a long note.
I can sum up
people's lives in 32 paragraphs.
I did a rock band in a page and a half
and they had 2 drummers.
Do you think this is funny?
One of our best friends
kills himself and we don't know why.
No one knows why anyone does anything.
Why did I choose these socks today?
Your socks, Alex's death.
They're pretty sad socks.
I believe that
everybody does everything to get laid.
Who said that? Freud?
No, I did.
All I'm saying is how could we
let Alex slip away like that?
Maybe he let us slip away.
I never heard from him.
- Did he hear from you?
- I tried. He resisted.
It's true.
We saw him a lot.
But he didn't tell us much.
Not me anyway.
I can't speak for Sarah.
I knew he was unhappy.
That doesn't tell you much.
I had no idea how bad it was.
I think he
wanted to cut off from us...
...because he was so unhappy
with where he was at.
Is that true, Chloe?
Did you feel that?
I don't know.
We had some good times.
I haven't met many happy people
in my life. How do they act?
I'm sitting here and I realize...
...I don't know what he
did for the last 5 years.
I remember he left
that caseworker job in Boston.
That was, what, '78 or so?
I don't know why he was doing that.
He was a scientific genius.
Why was he doing welfare work?
Then the construction job.
What was that for?
He didn't know what to do.
I can relate to that.
If you'd been in touch with him,
you could've saved his life?
You have that effect on people?
Keep them all jolly, do you?
Wise up, folks.
We're alone out there.
And tomorrow we're
going out there again.
It was straight of him not to cook up
a Reader's Digest condensation...
...of his screwed up life
for our entertainment.
I am sick of people
selling their psyches for attention.
He was classier than that.
It was a real classy act
he pulled in the bathtub.
For some people it isn't a question
of why kill yourself, but why not.
Give me a break.
Spare us the tragic existential pose.
Didn't mean
to get into your area.
Come on now, guys.
We're all friends here.
This is a well-known dynamic.
I've seen it a million times.
Some people...
...ease the pain of separation by
denigrating their relationship.
You're so deep.
I think Michael's right.
I feel shitty
about 10 different ways tonight.
I don't want
to let any of this go.
That's healthy. The only way to avoid
pain is to pretend you don't care.
I know. I've left
more places than you'll ever go.
Give him your pose line, Sam.
There's the existential man for you.
You're one tough cookie.
I could say you're one...
...cold, manipulative guy and it
wouldn't bother you.
I'm deeply hurt.
At least our last night will be fun.
Please don't do this, guys.
This is happening because we miss him.
And we're really hurting.
That's a crock of shit!
We're afraid
just the opposite is true.
Alex died for most of us
a long time ago.
I think you're a crock of shit.
Don't speak
for me or anybody else.
You hate your life.
That's your problem.
- Don't tell us how we feel, okay?
- That's it.
That's all I'm saying.
If I hate my life, it's my problem.
Too bad you weren't around
to comfort Alex as compassionately.
We go back a long way.
I won't piss that away
because you're higher than a kite.
A long time ago we knew
each other for a short period.
You don't know anything about me.
It was easy then.
No one had a cushier berth than we did.
It's not surprising our
friendship could survive that.
It's only here in the world
that it gets tough.
I don't care what you say.
I know I loved you
and everybody else here.
And I'll go on
believing that till I kick.
What's wrong with you?
What's happened to you?
Wait!
I believe you can help other people.
I really do.
Sorry about that.
I do too.
Not that you can
save them, probably not.
But you can do what you can do.
That's how I feel.
So lay into me now.
Really let me have it.
I was just trying
to keep the conversation lively.
So you'll continue
to love me no matter what?
Just don't cross me.
Could you help me
in here for a sec?
Well, I think I've had enough.
I love you very much.
I'm yours.
I want you to do
something for me.
Anything.
I'd marry you, if you want.
No, wait. I did that.
Yes, you did.
Thank God.
It's about Meg.
Where to?
You know, I don't do anything.
It's me.
Come on in.
Nobody else will.
This bed has always
been lucky for Sarah and me.
I got to try and relax.
I think I just
forgot how to do it.
What, what?
It's not going to come out right.
Try me.
I feel like I got
a great break on a used car.
I remember this.
I remember when he got this.
I must tell you...
...I'm picking up vibrations
here at the house.
I'm almost certain
there's sex going on around here.
Have I ever
told you how beautiful your eyes are?
My head.
Your feet.
Tell me about the club.
Fuck the club.
I couldn't deal with the hours.
It'd be nothing but aggravation.
Let's say it becomes successful.
I become a star.
People magazine sends
a nasty schmuck like me...
...to do interviews. Big deal.
Nope. I'm going back to my novel.
I'll write
about this weekend.
What were you going to
write about before?
Last weekend.
If Richard and I
bring the boys to L.A...
...maybe you could
get us in to see a studio.
Yeah, sure.
Absolutely.
No problem.
Good.
Richard would like that.
I'm the worst about writing.
But I promise I will,
from now on, answer your letters.
- Great.
- Good morning, youngsters.
So how did everybody
sleep last night?
Did anybody sleep last night?
I know I did.
All alone in my airplane.
No co-pilot.
I slept like a baby. Even wet the bed.
Drink your coffee, Michael.
I'll come see you
whether you like it or not.
Well, good morning.
Good morning.
How you doing?
Don't have to be
in such a good mood.
Look what I found in Alex's papers.
I will be in Detroit
sometime on this deal...
...and I'm just dying
to meet your boys.
I'd love it.
- You're all welcome in New York.
- Great!
Not in my apartment, you understand.
But in the city.
I'll accompany you anywhere,
even to Elaine's.
Thought Elaine's was dead.
That's why I can
get you guys in.
What's that?
The column I wrote about Alex
when he turned down the fellowship.
This is not bad.
Good, clean style.
Lean, economical, the right touch
of ideological fanaticism.
I remember Alex
was angry about that.
What do you mean?
I made him famous.
Think he saved
it because he hated it?
He also saved
his induction notice.
I'm collecting addresses.
Do you have one?
Or should I copy down
your license plate?
You can reach
Nick here for a while.
Nick and Chloe will stay here
and do some work at the old house.
I guess there's a certain
symmetry to that.
What's the flight schedule here?
Is there any way...
...to coordinate
the airport transport?
I'll be glad to drive somebody.
Great, if we can take Harold's car.
Get Harold to drive it.
You're no fun.
That won't be necessary.
We took a secret vote.
We're not leaving.
We're never leaving.