|
Big Top Scooby-Doo! (2012)
(BEEPING)
(GUARD SNORING) Like to thank the Academy... ...and all its members... (ALARMS RINGING) ...and thank the little people! Halt! (GROWLS) Oh. No, no! Aah! (GRUNTS) (GROWLING) (SIRENS WAILING NEARBY) Freeze! (ROARS) (OFFICERS GASP) -Was that your mom? -Dude, shut up. (OFFICERS GRUNT) -Did I hit it? I think I hit it. -I don't think it matters much... ...unless you've got silver bullets in that thing. Also, you're right, it did kind of look like my mom. (HOWLS) (GROWLS) DAPHNE: A whole week in Atlantic City. This is gonna be the best vacation since Pismo Beach. Didn't we get attacked by a demon clam there? Okay, since Santa Fe. Where we were chased by those radioactive cactus monsters. -Since Washington D.C.? -Washington? Hmm, Washington? What happened there? Hmm. Lincoln Memorial. Oh, heh. Oh, yeah, the Lincoln Memorial came to life... ...and tried to stomp on Scooby-Doo. "Four score and:" (GROWLS) Calm down, guys. This is Atlantic City. The fun capital of the world. Nothing bad ever happens here. Well, gangland shootouts. Okay, yeah, obviously, gangland shootouts. But otherwise, it's nothing but fun, fun, fun. Beaches and shows and-- (SHAGGY YELLS) Wulfsmoon! My favorite band. Gang, we have to see them while we're here. Their lead singer, Wulfric, is so awesome. He does that one song that goes: (HUMMING) You think that's cool, check this out. A circus. Remember how I explained to you what "cool" means? I love the circus. You know, I took that circus-arts class last summer. ALL (IN UNISON): We know. I really could have mastered the trapeze if I hadn't broken all those bones. The trick is to not fall. That's great, Fred, but, like, not everyone loves the-- We gotta go see it tonight. -Really? I think we'd rather-- -My treat. -Maybe some other-- -I insist. -But we don't-- -I'm glad that's settled. You guys are gonna love it. Hooray, the circus. (SCOOBY GROANS) Well, they don't open till tomorrow night. -Let's get going. -Hang on. -I wanna see if there's anyone here. -Wait, no. Like, they're closed. I am not going into a dark circus. Hey, the door's open. Let's just have a little look around. (BOTH WHIMPER) Okay, I am not staying in a dark circus. Look at this place. Even the stuffed animals are scary. Especially that. What is that, a clown? Come on, guys. On the creepy scale this place ranks higher than a graveyard. An old graveyard. Higher than an old graveyard in a swamp. On fire. Hello? Anybody here? Scoob... ...like, I have a really bad feeling about-- (BOTH YELL) BOTH: Phew. (BOTH YELL) SHAGGY: Run, Scoob! (ALL GRUNT) (ALL SHRIEK) What are you doing here? I'm sorry. But the door was open and we just-- Open? But I'm sure I locked-- (HOWLING NEARBY) He is here. -Come. We should stick together. -But what--? Come. -He will not elude me this time. DAPHNE: Who? The werewolf. -The werewolf? -The werewolf? Yes. I think he is this way. -Let's get out of here, Scoob. -Okay. (BABOON GRUNTS) (SHAGGY YELLS) Hey, it's a baboon. BABOON: Hmm. Ah. (CHUCKLES) (BABBLES) (BABBLES) Let me try. (MIMICS APE GRUNTING) (GRUNTING) (SNORTS) (SNORTS) (CHUCKLES) Ha! (SHIEKING) Sorry, baboon dude. I didn't mean to scare you. (WEREWOLF GROWLING) You again? It's just that-- (BOTH YELL) (BOTH WIMPERING) SHAGGY: Werewolf! (BOTH WHIMPER) -There's nothing there. -Yeah, guys, there's nothing-- -Nothing? Oh, heh. That's a relief. -Yeah. If it was right behind us, you'd say something, right? I don't wanna look. I looked. (BOTH YELL) This way. Down here. Slow down, Scoob. (SNIFFING) Like, I think we lost him. I think we lost everyone, Shaggy. All I know is I don't wanna see anything big and hairy. Especially that, eh, Scoob? -Let's see if we can find that werewolf. -Find it? I wanna run away from it... -...like a terrified school girl. -Yeah. Let's find it so you'll know which way to run. But-- You know, that kind of makes sense. This place sure is empty. Ah! Just a...thingy. (BOTH SHRIEK) You know, Scoob, I think it went away. (WEREWOLF HOWLS) (BOTH SHRIEK) (WEREWOLF HOWLING) Velma. Velma. Quiet. (GROWLS) I can handle it. Back. -That's vampires. -What? -Garlic. That's for vampires. -Are you sure? Because I really think-- (ROARS) Pretty sure. I thought a little light might help. It's gone for now. Thank you. I am Marius Brancusi, owner of this circus. How can I repay you? Maybe first you should explain to us what's going on here. I inherited this circus from my uncle last year... ...and I've been working to modernize it. I've been making it more stylish... ...phasing out the animal acts, giving it more of a theatrical flair. Also I cleaned the toilets, which has been a huge improvement. All this has led to our latest show: "Celestia." This is so fantastic. Did I mention I love the circus? Uh, several times, yes. -But what about the werewolf? -It's terrible. I thought tonight, while all my employees are having a night on the town... ...I might find some clues about the beast. I'm certain the werewolf must be someone who's part of the circus. You mean, in disguise? Perhaps it is not a disguise. You understand that I'm saying it might be a real werewolf, right? -Yeah. -It's just that I expected a bigger reaction. I was being so dramatic and did I show you my pectoral muscles? Moving on. All right. For the last few months, the creature has plagued us wherever we go. It has scared off many of my artists. And in every city we visit, it has stolen jewelry. -Jewelry? -Jewelry. And I thought my accent was thick. Anyway, it's very strange. Why would a werewolf want jewels? Like, maybe he's a lady werewolf. Because, um, you know, girls like pretty things to have. It was just a thought. I think I remember a case like this in 18th century Bavaria. -May I use your computer? MARIUS: Of course. VELMA: Bavaria, werewolf. Oh, here it is. It was in Ingolstadt. A werewolf known as "Hans" collected certain gemstones... ...and used them to increase his power. Normally, a werewolf only becomes a wolf at the full moon. But with the right combination of jewels... ...Hans was able to change from man to wolf at any time. He and the werewolves he created terrorized lngolstadt for decades. MARIUS: Created? VELMA: Yes. Anyone who is bitten by a werewolf and lives turns into a werewolf. Apparently, the Ingolstadt werewolves claimed hundreds of victims... ...before being driven out by Maximilian lll. Wow, you guys are lucky you didn't get bitten. Yeah, like, we.... (GASPING AND CHOKING) Everybody get back. He's turning into a werewolf. (PANTING) Some friends. I need the Heimlich and you're reaching for the silver bullets. You get that? Silver bullets for werewolves... ...garlic for vampires, the Heimlich for Shaggy. Who are you people? How do you know so much about werewolves? We solve mysteries. It's kind of a hobby. A hobby? Stamp collecting is a hobby. Solving mysteries is-- Wait. Maybe you could help me investigate this werewolf. Yes. And we could pose as circus performers. Sure, why not? Of course, it will be very dangerous. -And there's the "Why not." See you. -We have to do it, Shaggy. -For the good of the circus. -Forget it. For the safety of the public. No way. For all the cotton candy you can eat? Count me out. Hey, and, uh, churros too? -And churros. -Like, dude, heh, I'm in. Yeah, me too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. MARIUS: Well, if you're going to pass for circus artists... ...it's going to take a little work. So do any of you have circus skills? I took a circus-arts class last summer. Why am I not surprised? And what did you learn? I worked out on the trapeze a bit, but, uh, I ended up breaking a lot of bones. You seem to have healed well. What? Oh, not my bones. I was supposed to catch this guy and, uh, I dropped him. Onto someone. And they both fell into some other people. -That's terr-- -Who hit the tent support... ...which tipped the popcorn cart, which set fire to the audience risers... ...which collapsed with 48 people sitting on them. -Well, I'm sure it wasn't your fault. -No, it was. But I did learn a valuable lesson about the trapeze. -Which was? -Don't drop people. Oh, and don't fall. Yes, those are kind of the basics. How would you like a junior, second-assistant, backup trapeze position? -It would be an honor, sir. -You are a strange fellow. But I admire your neckwear. Anyone else have any talents that might apply? When I was a kid I used to do a little motorcycle act. Really? It takes years of practice to-- It went like this. Right, that'll do. I've phased animal acts out of my circus, but I could make an exception. -Your friend here seems very well-trained. -Oh, he is. Shake. -Beg. -Like, please, please, please. Good boy. Uh, just for the sake of tradition, maybe you should do the tricks. That's probably a good idea... ...because Scooby-Doo does more circus-y stuff than me. Show him, Scoob. Ta-da. You taught him all this? He tried, but, like, I just can't get it. -Poor baby. -And.... -Hello? -Hi. If you're afraid, I could put you on the churro cart. -No, no. I can do it. -Do what? I don't know. Something. There are still a few acts I could use. -How about knife-throwing? -No. -Sword-swallowing? -No. -Fire-eating? -No. Hmm. The only thing that's left is the human comet. -That doesn't sound so bad. -You get shot out of a cannon. (GROANS) Can we go back to the knife-throwing? I have to get everyone prepared. -Meet me back here in the morning. -Check. What time? Five o'clock. (CHUCKLING) There's no 5:00 in the morning. Is there? I have a bad feeling about this. (YAWNING) (SHAGGY SNORING) I wonder if we should use code names while we're undercover. VELMA, DAPHNE & SCOOBY: No. I could be Dominic St. Chinard... ...ne'er-do-well son of a New England shipping magnate who-- VELMA, DAPHNE & SCOOBY: No. Finally, you're here. Come on. You have to meet your fellow circus artistes. Yay! Any one of whom could be a bloodthirsty monster. Boo. Whitney Doubleday. He's our animal trainer. (SHAGGY GROANS) -Hello? -Yes? (SCOOBY GASPS) Like, what happened, Scoob? Oh, terribly sorry. Thirty minutes every day. Marvelous for the lower back. Whitney Doubleday, animal trainer. Good boy. (SHAGGY MUMBLES) Whitney Doubleday, animal trainer. Good boy. Sorry, after 40 years of handing out treats... ...it's become a habit. Oh, thanks. Uh, Shaggy Rogers, I'm also an animal train-- -Um, I guess I'm more of an animal partner. -Yeah. Partners. Well, I suppose if you're a team, that's different. I thought it was odd that Marius hired you. You see, he eliminated all the trained animals from the circus. Really? Huh. Well, you must be angry and embittered and seeking revenge. Ha, ha. Not at all. I was retiring anyway. The public doesn't want trained animals anymore. Too many stories about abusive training techniques. Of course, I never hurt any of my animals. Right, Leoni? (PURRS) But there are a few bad apples out there. No, I'm afraid my kind of act is a thing of the past. Hey, um, have you ever trained, I don't know... ...for instance, just off the top of my head, um, wolves? Wolves? No, no one works with wolves. They're too unpredictable. I'd have better luck trying to train a hurricane. So if you're not in the show, why are you and your animals here? DOUBLEDAY: Well, we're just along for the ride. I'm transporting them to a sanctuary in California that's agreed to take them. I think I'll miss my baboons the most. So much like people, don't you think? Huh? Oh. I don't really see any resemblance. (SPEAKING IN SPANISH) BOTH: Huh? I always use Spanish commands. The animals are less likely to hear shouts from the audience and get confused. (SPEAKS IN SPANISH) Wow, Scoob. -Think we could do something like that? -Sure. (SCOOBY SPEAKS IN SPANISH) (LION ROARS) (SHAGGY & SCOOBY SHRIEK) Well, it's unusual, I'll give them that. (SHRIEKS) MARIUS: Velma, meet Archambault, our strongman. You'll be working with him. VELMA: Uh.... Don't be afraid, big hairy man is not werewolf. You heard about werewolf? Terrible, terrible. Very bad for circus, oui? -Okay. -Um, what are you--? Ah. Archambault forget, you are new to the circus. Please, you should step on the hand. -What? -Step on the hand. Trust Archambault. VELMA: Whoa! Archambault is not fake like some strongmans, eh? Archambault is genuine article. Strongest man in Quebec, eh? -But why--? -Is part of act. I carry you to cannon. Then you climb in, I pull lever, boom, boom, land in net, oui? -Um, I guess. -Good. We do some practicing. Make sure you shouldn't break head. (SHRIEKS) Human comet, fire! VELMA: Sorry. I think I tensed up. There. Those are the people I'll be performing with? Not performing. You're junior, second-assistant, backup trapeze. That means you stand by the net. -And do what? -As little as possible. If someone falls, you help them out of the net. Oliverio. Lena. This is Fred. Oliverio is very jealous, so don't look at Lena. But don't look like you're not looking at her, because that makes her flirty. Wait, what? Ah, the new net boy. -Something is wrong with your neck? -No, um.... Maybe his cute little scarf is too tight. Come by my trailer later and I loosen it for you, yeah? Listen to me, net boy. You stay away from Lena... ...or I pop your head off like a bottle cap. Nice to meet you. I'm Fred. You'll be with the clowns. -Ooh, clowns are fun. -Fun like a root canal. What? In there. Gotta go. Um, hello? This is easy for you to say. "Hello." North Americans... ...always so cheerful. "Hello." Well, maybe I don't feel like hello. -Are you one of the clowns? -No. I am an actor. I have merely undertaken the role of a clown. That is a clown. (HORN HONKING) (DAPHNE LAUGHS) No. You do not laugh at this honky-horn. It is low comedy, undignified. -I'm Daphne Blake. -Yes, yes, the motorcycle girl. Marius said. -The buffoon here is Sisko. -Pleased to meet you. -And I am Schmatko. -Ha-ha-ha. Schmatko. -What a great clown name. -It is not a clown name. I am Svyatopolk Stanislavevich Schmatko. Sisko, that is a clown name. Schmatko is a name of great dignity. Once I toured the Soviet Union performing the classics. -Chekov. Pushkin. Turgenev. -Bulgakov? You know Bulgakov? At last, a person of culture. Sisko, we must show this cultured lady our new routine. Sisko. And begin. So? What you think, eh? The umbrella represents intolerance. Sure, I got that. -Is funny, yes? -Yeah, ha, ha, funny. I like this motorcycle girl. Okay. I go to make smoothie. Who wants smoothie? -One strawberry. Motorcycle girl? -Oh, no thanks. Fine, suture yourself. Back in a littles. (SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN) (WEREWOLF GROWLING) (SHMATKO YELLS) So the circus is a little different than I'd always imagined. -How so? -It's full of crazy people. Oliverio threatened to pop my head off. I don't know if your werewolf is real or not... ...but if you're looking for someone with a grudge against the circus... ...there are plenty of suspects. Schmatko has a lot of bitterness about being a clown. Archambault seems nice, but he sure looks like a werewolf. Like, that Doubleday guy says he doesn't mind losing his job... -...but I don't know. -I know, I know. -And there's one more suspect. SHAGGY: Wulfsmoon? No way. They've been performing in every town where the werewolf has appeared. Oh, so you're gonna blame them. Just because they were there... ...and the lead singer claims to be a werewolf. -What? -You couldn't have mentioned this earlier? But it's just for publicity. I mean, heh, he also says he's from Sweden. -And he isn't? -Duh. Of course not. Sweden's just a made-up place, like fairyland or Australia. I bet you think kangaroos are real too. (BOTH CHUCKLE) -Shaggy. -Sweden. Ha, ha. Duh. Kangaroos. (CHUCKLES) Has he been kicked in the head or something? Not yet. Like, all this speculationing is making me hungry, Scoob. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guys, we are heading for the legendary Cap'n Fatty's Rib Ranch... ...home of the more-than-all-you-can-eat special. You eat as much as you can, then they force dessert... -...down your throat with a spatula. -My kind of place. Anyone care to join us? We'll catch up with you. -Okay, bye. -Just be back in time for the show. I mean, seriously. Like by a mule, kicked? After this, Scoob, we will have visited almost all of the greatest rib joints... -...in America. -Yeah. All that's left is that one where the ribs come with a coupon for free heart surgery. -What's it called? -The rib reaper. Yeah, the rib reaper. Someday, Scooby-Doo. Some.... (WEREWOLF GROWLING) (SHAGGY GASPS) Okay, when I say run, I want you to-- I didn't say it. Aah! Huh? (WHIMPERS) (BOTH GASP) (GROANING) (BOTH SCREAMING) Like, how did it get in there so fast? I don't know. FRED: Shaggy and Scooby. What's going on? Guys, I think we hit something. Werewolf! (BOTH YELL) There's two. -And that one, I think it's Schmatko. -I beg your pardon? Schmatko, the clown. I recognize his costume. Schmatko, it's me. Motorcycle girl. (ROARS) He doesn't sound very friendly. Actually he wasn't all that friendly even before he turned into a werewolf. (ALL SCREAMING) DAPHNE: This way. SHAGGY: No, this way. (BOTH GASP) DAPHNE: Uh-oh. They're after the girls. We gotta do something. It's time to take out the trash. Dang. They're fast. (CLANGING) What's that? I'm gonna guess it's Daphne and Velma pounding on the manhole cover... ...you just buried under a ton of garbage. DAPHNE: Get us out of here. VELMA: We're in the sewer. (FRED SIGHS) Well, guess we better start digging. Oh, this is worse than when the sword swallower go the hiccups. Did he leave a note? (HONKS) What about on the fridge? Did you look on the fridge? (HORN HONKS) Of course I don't think you're stupid, I-- Don't you think I know that? Thank goodness you're here. Schmatko's missing. Sisko hasn't seen him since 6 a.m. Six-thirty. -He's a werewolf. -What? We just got chased by two werewolves, and one was wearing Schmatko's clothes. They broke into the museum and stole an emerald necklace. He's collecting jewels. And he's making more werewolves. It's just like in lngolstadt. I know this is bad, but we've got a show to do in half an hour. Nothing is impossible. -Daphne, you'll stand in for Schmatko. -I'm doing what now? We'll need to fill some time. Fred, can you walk a tight rope? Of course, I maybe can. Archambault can do cowboy routine. -Not the cowboy routine. -Why you no like cowboy routine? Is best superb. I can make it space cowboy for this "Celestia" thing. Fine, do it. With that we should be okay. As long as Shaggy and Scooby go over well. Come on, everyone get into costume. It's showtime, folks. (SNIFFS) What's that smell? -We were in the sewer. -And we were digging through garbage. (LAUGHS) You Americans really know how to party. (CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) -Everyone ready? BOTH: No. Great. I'm going to start the show. (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) Ladies and gentlemen. With the finest talent from five continents... ...the Brancusi Circus presents, "Celestia." (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) (AUDIENCE APPLAUDS) (HORN WAILS) (DAPHNE SHRIEKS) (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) (AUDIENCE APPLAUDS) (AUDIENCE APPLAUDS) LENA: Mm. (GROWLS) (AUDIENCE GASPS) Whoa. Do it again. They love it. (SPEAKlNG IN SPANISH) (YELLS) Heh. I fell. (AUDIENCE APPLAUDS) Nice working with you. Yippee-ki-yay, I am the space cowboy, oui? But in Quebec, cowboy don't do things the easy way. (LAUGHS) (WHINNIES) (LAUGHING) Is best superb, oui? (HORSE NEIGHING) (AUDIENCE GASPING) You see what I mean? It makes people uncomfortable. Totally. Ladies and gentlemen... ...may I present Scooby and Shaggy? Hello, Atlantic City. I give you Scooby-Doo. AUDIENCE: Ooh. Ta-da. Thank you, thank you. Oh, I'm Shaggy, his, uh, trainer. AUDIENCE (CHANTING): Shaggy! Shaggy! Shaggy! But what about me? Shaggy! Shaggy! Shaggy! That went well. You're up, human comet. I can't do this. (SHRIEKS) -Don't worry. You are going to be fine. -You think so? Eh, fifty-fifty. Aah! Werewolves. (AUDIENCE GASPING) (GROWLING) Well, that's a relief. (CHATTERING) Those costumes are awesome. (AUDIENCE CHEERING) Like, don't bite us. I don't wanna be a werewolf. And I'm already a dog. (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) Get away, shoo. Go chase a cat. Huh? There has to be something we can do. Usually I drop a net on.... Ooh, that's a big net. No bitey. I am not a chew toy. (SHAGGY YELLS) Huh? (YELLING) (WHIMPERING) (YELLS) (AUDIENCE GASPS) Scooby! (AUDIENCE CHEERS) Shaggy. Scooby. Lead them over this way. Like, I'll try. -Now! -Unh! -Got them. MARIUS: Come on. (AUDIENCE CHEERING) They have to be here. Apparently not. Very strange. How could they just disappear like that? (HONKING) Maybe, but where would they hide the forklift? Why did they attack? They weren't stealing jewels. They went right for Shaggy and Scooby. -You think they were trying to scare us off? -It could be. SHAGGY: How do you, like, stop this thing? (CRASH) (AUDIENCE LAUGHING AND APPLAUDING) That's one way. Everybody out. Follow the ushers. -Werewolves. What a great idea. -Hilarious. (LAUGHING AND CHATTERING) (SCOOBY SNORING) MARIUS: Unbelievable. -What's that? Is it the werewolves? No, I don't think so. There were critics in the audience last night. There are circus critics? These are the most incredible reviews I've ever seen. They all assumed the werewolves were part of the show. And look at this: They're calling Shaggy the greatest circus artist since Felix Adler. -What? -I'm so excited. And I would be so much more excited if I had any idea who Felix Adler was. That's great, Shaggy. -Congratulations. -Way to go. What about me? Listen. "The performance young Shaggy Rogers... ...gets from his trained dog, Scabby--" -Scabby? "--is so remarkable, one might almost believe the animal has a mind of its own." I do. -It's true, he does. -Yeah, that was a little harsh. This is fantastic. Excuse me, I have to show these around. Looks like we're a hit, huh? -"Scabby." ARCHAMBAULT: You have heard? The newses are loving the show. We sell many tickets now, eh? You all be sure to come to breakfast today, okay? Archambault is going to make his famous crepes. Aha. Kitchen trailer key. Breakfast be ready soon. -What--? ARCHAMBAULT: Excusez-moi... -...Archambault put it back on shelf. -Wait a second. This is a book about the lngolstadt werewolves. But I thought Marius had never heard about them. That's what he said. Like, maybe he just bought that book yesterday? It was printed in Estonia in 1853. You really think Marius could have found this in just a day? What you are saying? Marius is werewolf? But last night he was with us when the werewolves attacked. He still might be one of them. Maybe he can change... ...whenever he wants, like in lngolstadt. Someone has circled all the jewels that Hans supposedly collected. They're the same ones our werewolf has stolen except one. It says it's a "carbonado." What's a "carnow"? -Carbonado. Beats me. -Carbonado, very puzzlement, oui? Okay, time to make the crepes. Breakfast in one hour. (STOMACH GROWLS) I'm not gonna last an hour. Hey, is Cap'n Fatty's Rib Ranch open for breakfast? -Yeah. -Then let's head on out, Scabby. Ha, ha. (GROWLS) Shaggy Rogers. Like, do I know you? "A star is born." -Oh, yeah. -Oh, no. Hey, everybody. We got a celebrity in the place. Shaggy, from that "Celestia" show. (GIRLS GASP THEN LAUGH) -Oh, my gosh, we saw you last night. -You were so awesome. How'd you teach it all those tricks? -"It"? -Um, you know, the usual way. -He's dreamy. -He's dreamy. (SHAGGY CHUCKLES) (SCOOBY GROANS) -Right this way, Mr. Rogers. -Would you ladies care to join me? (GIGGLING) Huh? Hey. Order anything you want, sir. It's on the house. And I'll bring a bone for your dog. A bone? So tell me more about how great I am. "Scabby." Hmph. -Care to explain this? -Well, it's a book. You see, they print words on sheets of paper, bind them together-- It's a book about the lngolstadt werewolves. We found it in your office. And what, that makes me a werewolf? My office is usually unlocked. Anyone could have planted it there. PHlL: Mr. Brancusi? Oh, over here, Mr. Flaxman. It's Phil, heh. Call me Phil, everyone calls me Phil, even my kids call me Phil. Heh. Come into my office please, Phil. If you'll excuse me, I have some business to discuss. And then I said, "So tell me more about how great I am." (GIRLS LAUGH) (MIMICS GIRLS LAUGHING) Disgusting. Who wants to get the superstar another hoagie? -Oh, I'll get you one. -No, me. -Me, I'll do it. -Me first. (YAWNS) -I want a hoagie. -Don't worry, Scoob. (YAWNS) Now that I'm a superstar, I won't forget the little people. I mean, dogs. Little puppies.... Ah. People. Pooples. Whatever. (SNORES) (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) Are you ready to rock? You understand that by "rock" I mean, "Watch a dog do tricks," right? Then behold my creation. (GROWLS) Scooby, no. (GASPS) (SCOOBY GROANING) Don't leave me, buddy. Don't leave! Scoob. Scooby. Scoob. Scooby? Dude, can I borrow your shades? No! Chillax. I was just asking. No. Oh, good, you're still a dog. And you're still a jerk. What do you mean, you won't do the show tonight? You heard me. -Oh, come on, Scoob. -No. Would you do it for a Scooby Snack? Uh-uh. Would you do it for two Scooby Snacks? -Forget it. -Fine. There's 342 pounds of Scooby Snacks here. You happy now? Yeah. Ha, ha. Happy now. I don't know what you just talked him into doing... ...but he must've really not wanted to do it. Thank you, Phil. We'll see you at tonight's show. Oh, I wouldn't miss it. Guess what. That man just bought out all the seats for tonight's performance. We're doing a private show for the Wulfsmoon guy. Wulfric Von Rydingsvard? Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! (SHAGGY PANTING) Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Is he going to be all right? As all right as he ever is. I am not a werewolf. -I really don't think it's him, Velma. -We'll see. Okay, so I found out... ...what a carbonado is. It's also known as a black diamond. (SCREAMS) Thanks, Shaggy. Deaf in this ear now. Black diamond. Black diamond. -What? -Wulfric. Wulfric. Wulfric. Shaggy. How about a verb? (GROANS) Wears! Wears! Wears! Let's see, if we put them together... ...Wulfric wears black diamond? Well, I guess we know what the werewolves' next target is. And this time, we'll be ready. -We're not ready. -It's okay, calm down. Calm down? We can't find Archambault. And look at his trailer. There's obviously been a struggle here. I hate to say it, but it looks like the werewolf has struck again. OLIVERIO: You. -Where is she? -She? Where is my Lena? You two are planning to run off together, aren't you? What? No. -Don't lie to me. -Oliverio, stop. Lena could have been taken by the werewolf. Ha. Net boy is the only wolf I see. (BOTH WHIMPERING) I hope Oliverio isn't too upset, Fred. Because you're going to be doing the trapeze with him tonight. We can do this. We can. We just need to get through this show... ...then we can find out what happened to everyone. All right. I'll take over most of Archambault's act. Velma, that means I'll be helping you into the cannon. The cannon? (WOMEN LAUGHING) They're here. There's Wulfric. He looks shorter in person. Okay. Here we go. There's just one thing you have to remember-- Yes? Marius? Oh. Like, not him too. (BOTH GULP) (HORN HONKING) Sisko is right. The show must go on. But what if the werewolves show up? I'm counting on it. We've got a little surprise in store for them. The circus is a metaphor for society, don't you think? Only instead of, like, rich people and poor people, there's other things. So true, so true. Isn't it true? ALL: Mm-hm. -True. WULFRIC: Shh. It's starting. Ladies and gentlemen. With the finest talent from 10 continents... I thought there were only seven continents. Well, they're discovering new ones all the time. (PHIL CHUCKLES) ...I present the Brancusi Circus. And now, Oliverio and Fred. Does that safety net look okay to you? No. Maybe the junior, second-assistant, backup trapeze artist forgot to check it. Who? Oh, heh, that's me, isn't it? Yes. I guess you'd better hope I don't drop you, eh? (WHIMPERING AND YELLING) No! MAN 1: Bravo! -You caught me. -Of course. If I don't, you think anyone ever gonna hire me again? MAN 2: Well done. (FRED CHUCKLES) (HORN HONKING) (SHRIEKS) (WULFRIC LAUGHING) Get it? Huh? The umbrella represents intolerance. PHIL: Hmm, ha, ha. Yeah, oh, yeah. Ha, ha. I get it. Hello, Wulfric Von Rydingsvard. Where? Where--? Oh, right. I give you, Shaggy. -And his performing dog. -Mm-mm-mm. -The guy in the dog suit is fantastic. -That's a real dog. (CHUCKLES) Phil, you fall for anything. I bet you believe in kangaroos. They're here. Go. (ALL GASP) Huh? (GROWLS) Now, this is what I've been waiting for. Hello, wolfy-wolf-wolfy. (CHUCKLES) (GRUNTS) Sorry, Schmatko. We'll get you back to normal, if that's really you. Oh, not good. (GROWLING) Fred! Ow! That's a Titanium chain. (ALL SCREAMING) Thanks so much for your help, everyone. Phil, you're the only one who stood by my side. I always said you were like a son to me, Wulfric. A wealthy, Swedish son with a tenuous grip on reality. Good dog, good doggy, don't bite Freddy now. So the affair goes on even now that she's a werewolf, eh? -You're crazy. -Crazy in love. Come back to me, Lena. I don't care if you're a dog. Bite me and we shall stalk the night together, two wolves in love. (YELLS) Heh. You two obviously have some stuff to work out, so I'll just be, uh.... (FRED YELLS) At least I don't have to do the cannon thing. (SCOOBY WHIMPERING) -Strike. -Hmph. Hey, I'm sorry I didn't introduce you. But you can't stay mad-- Ha. I knew you still cared. (SCOOBY YELLS) -I'm coming, Scoob. VELMA: Aah! Like, leave my friend alone. Huh? Red fur? Zoinks! SCOOBY: What the...? They're gone. Shaggy. They're baboons. Baboons? Baboons. (FRED, VELMA & DAPHNE WHIMPER) Oh, man, what was that command he used? Domingo. (SHAGGY SPEAKING IN SPANISH) They're the trained baboons. Which means Doubleday must be behind this. Stop him. Oh, no. Fred. Fire. -Are you sure? -Do it. Way to go, Velma. Oh, yeah. Best human comet ever. -Ow! That was glued on, you know. -It's Doubleday, all right. Get back. You won't take us that easy. (GUNSHOT) (GROANS) -What did you do? ARCHAMBAULT: He's okay. Just tranquilizer gun Doubleday keep around in case of problem with animals. -What are those ropes? -Archambault tied up. But Archambault break ropes. Such thick ropes. -It take hours. -Where were you? In storage shed, back there. (MUMBLING) -You okay? -Who did this? Did you catch him? What's going on? It was Doubleday. We've already called the police. (OLIVERIO SPEAKS IN SPANISH) (LENA SPEAKS IN GERMAN) This would have never happened at the Minsk conservatory. (DOUBLEDAY GROANING) MARIUS: How is he? -This is strong stuff. He could be out for hours, days even. Where did my amulet go? DETECTIVE: I've got men searching for it, and all the other stolen jewels. If we don't find them, we can get the information from Doubleday. My circus is supposed to be in Philadelphia tomorrow. Will that be a problem? No. If we need you, we'll contact you. You were the best thing in the show, my friend, and that dog costume is brilliant. Dog costume? Thanks again for all your help. Are you sure I can't give you anything? We did some major box office. This thing is crammed with cash. No, thanks. We're just glad we could help. Well, any time you want to see the circus, it's on the house. And all the churros you can eat. Yes. And maybe I could do the high-wire again, huh? Uh, let's think about whether that's probably maybe best, um.... Anyway, um, goodbye. Archambault say goodbye also. Goodbye, Archambault. Thanks for everything. Okay. I hope they find all those jewels. Especially that black diamond, it seemed very nice, oui? -Hey, motorcycle girl. -Schmatko. I guess Sisko told you I could never get your umbrella routine right. No, he say umbrella routine was funny for first time ever. Oh, uh.... No, no, is good. This finally make me decide clowning is not for me. So now I go to New York to pursue my true love, theater. That's great, Schmatko. I'm sure you'll be a huge success. Of course, Sisko will miss me terribly... ...but a man has got to be doing what it is that a man has got to be doing. Do svidaniya, all. Goodbye. Goodbye. I thought he'd never leave. Cheers. Well, another case solved. I don't know. Something's still bugging me. Yeah, I miss the part where the bad guy says he would've gotten away with it... -...if it hadn't been for us. -Wait. Archambault said "black diamond." But the last he heard, that gem was a carbonado. -So? -And do you remember... -...what Doubleday said? -You won't take us that easy. He said "us." Archambault caught Doubleday... ...after he tranquilized him. He could have the black diamond. And Archambault said he broke his ropes, but that rope hadn't been broken. The ends looked like they'd been cut. And the book. Archambault was the one who knocked it off the shelf. I'll bet he planted it there. It all adds up. Archambault was in on it. We've got to catch that train. -Come on, come on. -I'm going as fast as I can. Uh-oh. Look. We gotta get on that train somehow. What? What are you looking at? Shaggy, how far can you jump? Huh? Oh, no. Oh, no. No, no, no. No. No! Come on, guys, jump so I can get up there. How did we get talked into this, Scoob? How can you still be mad? I said I was sorry. (BOTH YELL) Too late, Daphne. -I guess it's just us, Scoob. -Hmph. Boy, he really can hold a grudge. (MARIUS GRUNTS) Tell Archambault where is key or Archambault get angry. This isn't angry? -We gotta stop him. -We? Scooby-Doo, like, dude, I'm sorry. You're the best friend a guy could have, and you're the best circus performer too. That's right. Won't you please forgive me, old buddy, old pal? Heh. Oh, maybe. I know it was wrong to treat you like a trained animal. I was a complete-- (IN UNISON) Trained animals. FRED: Hey. DAPHNE: Stop please. FRED: Slow down. Stop. VELMA: Stop that train. Ah, it's so nice to see young folks taking an interest in the railroads. (TRAIN WHISTLE WAILS) Hey, animals. We need your help. Um.... (SPEAKING IN SPANISH) Allow me. (BARKING) (BABOONS GIBBERING) Scooby speaks baboon? Who knew? (HORSE WHINNIES) Ha. Best superb. Archambault just wants to say he has enjoyed doing the business with you. Huh? (PLAYS "CHARGE") Ha, ha. Archambault never punch a horse before. Could be fun. (HORSE NEIGHS) (BABOONS GIBBERING AND SCREECHING) Sleepy time for the monkeys. (GUN CLICKS) Huh? What? Where are the darts? Don't worry, I got them right here. No! Bad monkeys! (BREAKING) Like, what do we do now? Hello, peoples. -Run! -Run! Come back here, dog and hippie. Archambault won't hurt you much. Did he just call me a hippie? (BOTH YELL) (BANGING) (GROWLS) (BOTH WHIMPERING) (SHAGGY YELLS) Jump. -Huh? -Well, duh. (YELLS) -Thanks, buddy. -Anytime, pal. (BOTH SHRIEK) (GRUNTS) Archambault not built for the long jump. Scoob. I got an idea. Follow me. What? (GASPS) (YELLS) Ow! (SPEAKS IN FRENCH) My.... (GROANS) (SNORING) -Good work, Shaggy. -You too, Scoob. This guy is tough. I think those tranquilizers are starting to wear off already. MARIUS: Apparently, Archambault and Doubleday were both angry... ...when my uncle left me the circus. I understand it. They worked for him for years... ...then suddenly his nephew comes in and wants to change everything. And then, when Archambault saw that Doubleday was caught... ...he double-crossed him, hoping to buy himself enough time... ...to make off with the jewels and the box-office money. And Archambault would have get away with it... ...if it don't be for the young peoples and the nosy dog, there. Oh. I do like to hear that. Guess that wraps it up. I got your call. Hey, that's a train. Choo-choo! Mr., uh, Wulfric, sir? Um, hi. Ha, ha. Uh, we caught Doubleday's accomplice... ...and, uh, he had this in his pocket. Brilliant. Just brilliant. That one's my second favorite. I really gotta thank you. And I have to thank you again. -Is there anything I can do for you? -They won't take money, I tried that. Well, there must be something, right? Hmm. Maybe there is. Like, man, this is the best. Heh. -Right, buddy? -You said it, amigo. Hello, Cleveland. (WHISPERS) We're in Atlantic City. Right. Hello, you guys. -Are you ready to rock? ALL: Yes! SHAGGY: Totally! Well, I need a minute. (YELLING) (BAND PLAYING HEAVY METAL MUSIC) (SINGING) Mystery Inc., Mystery Inc. They helped me out a lot, I think Mystery Inc., Mystery Inc. They helped me out a lot, I think There's a dog named Scooby And some other guys And I said I'd write them a song But I forgot to Scooby-Dooby-Doo. |
|