1
[MUSIC PLAYING]
DARRYL: Yep, folks.
It's just another smoggy
day in downtown Los Angeles,
where everyone seems
to have their head
on straight, except for
my friend Sean Reynolds.
He says he's going
to walk out that door
with a sack full of cash.
All comes down to this.
He's walking toward with a bag.
Why cash, you say?
Because the Sasquatch dude
says he doesn't take Visa.
I'm just going
to ruin your day.
Looks like you're stuck
shoot the pilot, smartass.
DARRYL: No.
Man, you don't have
that much cash.
That's--
Far from the only one, buddy.
DARRYL: Who the hell
did you steal that from?
7,500 of them--
and I don't mean
the Canadian kind.
Let's get one more shot,
before we get out of here.
Come on.
Spin around here.
Get in here with me, buddy.
You wave to that camera.
Say hello to all of your--
- What's happening?
What's happening?
--soon-to-be adoring fans.
Seven days a pit
toilets to mosquitoes.
I'm just elated.
Darryl Coleman, you
are about to embark--
Can you feel it?
--on the journey
of a lifetime.
We're uncomfortably
close, aren't we?
- Mom, I'm sorry.
- Let's-- let's go Come on.
I never meant to go this low.
SEAN: Let's go.
Let's go find a van.
You know I don't
carry equipment.
Not for what you're paying me.
SEAN: Relax.
Just pack the gear
a little tighter.
Make room for the rest
of the stuff, huh?
Here we are, folks, at
Video Gear Rentals, where
our producer and sound
engineer have the rest
of our equipment lined up.
And there she is, Miss
Robyn Conway, television
producer and longtime friend.
Man, why are you filming me?
Damn, I miss working
for a studio.
Amateurs.
SEAN: It's called reality
television Darryl.
Get used to it.
You've had 10 years.
Yeah, you're right.
I guess bringing
your ex-girlfriend
along is about as real as
reality gets, so that's--
good call.
SEAN: Robyn is coming
along because she's
the best producer I've ever
worked with, thank you.
And she's so good on top,
and under, and on the side.
[MOCKING LAUGHTER]
SEAN: It's ancient
history, all right?
Yeah, whatever.
Hey, and don't forget the
fact that she believes
in all that woo-woo crap
that trashed your career
in the first place, right?
SEAN: Yeah, it's perfect.
She's the yin to my yang, the
true believer to my skeptic,
the--
ROBYN: Long time no see.
DARRYL: Good to see you.
Good to see you.
How have you been?
Good, good.
I've been locked up in a
feature and two commercials
all back-to-back.
You know it is.
Gotta make that money, keep
paying my 401k to the ex-wife.
Yeah, well, hopefully
this will be your jackpot.
Yeah, maybe.
We have one problem.
SEAN: Now what?
Curtis is having
second thoughts.
SEAN: What?
ROBYN: Yeah.
You didn't tell him.
The answer is no.
SEAN: I love that shirt.
It's an outdoorsy shirt.
You don't even know
what the question is.
CURTIS: I-- I--
SEAN: Curtis, I need
you on this, man.
Now I'm your
friend, but I'm just--
What's with the cameras?
The cameras are
here because Sean
and-- and Darryl apparently
have a great project.
SEAN: It's a gig, dude.
You record sound, you get paid.
What am I missing?
- What am I missing?
Do you know what
you're missing?
LATONYA: Cameras?
The part where you take us all
out into the woods for a week.
SEAN: Yeah, so?
- Yeah.
Who lives in the woods, Sean?
Who lives in the woods, Sean?
SEAN: You can't--
Say it.
Say his name.
Bigfoot that's who
lives in the Woods.
Bigfoot is a fantasy, OK?
The crazy old dude
that-- that the three
of us are going to interview
is just hoaxing us--
No, no, no, no.
--with some of it made-up
story about a Bigfoot body.
Oh, it's a made up story
about a Bigfoot body.
SEAN: Yeah.
See, when you
put it like that--
I'll pass.
SEAN: Look, man, the
show's going to be a hit.
No.
SEAN: It's going to be huge.
And I'll tell you what, I'll--
I'll restructure the deal,
so that you get taken care
of on the back end, as well.
Points.
Would you talk
some sense into him?
I don't know what
else to say, but--
He's not talking straight.
That's your friend.
Just remember, you
guys don't have
benefits or life insurance.
Really, Latonya?
CURTIS: That's a
really good point.
Life insurance?
CURTIS: Really good point.
Life-- what are
you laughing at?
Curtis, just slow down.
CURTIS: Sean, no.
SEAN: Hear me out.
You're not thinking straight.
CURTIS: Leave me alone.
SEAN: The van leaves
in 10 minutes.
I need you in it.
CURTIS: I don't care.
Move, Kevin.
SEAN: I need you in the van
with-- excuse me-- with me.
CURTIS: God.
You, me, Darryl, Robyn,
back together again.
How can I put this to you?
You are shooting a horror show.
And no black man in his
right mind is going out
into the woods with a
bunch of white folks--
no disrespect-- for a horror--
Latonya--
- Curtis.
Latonya, come here please.
Come here.
Thank you.
What now?
Just-- please, for a second.
I know you get
confused sometimes.
Someone like you
might not understand,
but let me explain it, OK?
Look at us.
We are light-skinned,
but we're still black.
We're not white.
We're not going camping.
We're not going to
roast marshmallows,
and we sure as hell
are not chasing
Bigfoot in the forest, Sean.
None of the above.
None.
SEAN: I have never done
a show without you.
I understand.
I can't do this
show without you.
- That's not true.
- Sounds like you, Curtis.
I need you on this one, buddy.
You need me?
Yes.
No, no, no.
You know what you need?
You know what you need?
You need a sound guy who's
dumb enough to get a Bigfoot
broke off in his ass, and I
don't just the guy for you.
Come here.
Kevin, Kevin is your man.
SEAN: Huh?
What?
SEAN: Aw, that's adorable.
He smells.
Oh, no.
Seriously.
At the next stop,
can we switch please?
SEAN: Well, it was a
bit of a rough start,
but ladies and gentlemen, I am
pleased to announce we are now
officially on our way out
of Los Angeles and on track
to arrive in northern
California later this afternoon.
Much later.
We each get to shoot our
own stuff, how cool is that?
ROBYN: Hey, Sean, you do
know how dangerous this is,
don't you?
Every producer's secret
dream is to be a cameraman.
Then go crazy.
I want at least one of you
guys shooting at all times.
Darryl's going to
shoot the main stuff.
He'll shoot the--
the interviews,
the establishing shots,
of course, the unveiling.
But you guys, for filler
and for confessionals,
I want you shooting
at all times.
Burn those batteries out.
Fill the camera's up, every
delicious off-the-cuff moment.
DARRYL: Man, you better check
yourself, bro, because I'm
not shooting confessionals.
This is a documentary.
This is not Real
World, Bigfoot Edition.
Wait, Bigfoot Edition?
DARRYL: This is bullshit.
What's up with that?
ROBYN: You guys didn't tell him?
Tell me what?
DARRYL: It's the show.
The show guys we're
going to go interview,
he's claimed that he's bagged
himself a dead Bigfoot.
What?
ROBYN: I believe you
guys didn't tell him.
SEAN: Stay with me here, Kev.
It's all a hoax.
The whole thing's a fraud, OK?
I wouldn't be
surprised if it's--
No.
No it's not.
I know this guy.
I've seen him on the internet.
DARRYL: What?
- Yeah.
Dude, this is epic.
DARRYL: Come on.
Like-- no, this guy
actually found a dead Bigfoot.
Guys, we're going to
be fucking famous.
ROBYN: Good spirit, Kev.
KEVIN: Thank you.
SEAN: See?
It's totally epic.
DARRYL: Are you guys related?
Do we look like?
Look.
DARRYL: Depends on the light.
Look at us.
Look at us.
DARRYL: I'm good, thanks.
All right, Darryl, what
do you want to-- which
way do you want to go here?
DARRYL: I think-- I
think on your right.
On your right.
- Over here?
DARRYL: Move to your right.
SEAN: All right, cool.
So we'll catch--
we'll start on this?
DARRYL: Yeah, hang tight.
Hang tight right there.
Yeah.
DARRYL: OK, all right.
Let the genius step in here.
OK, check it out.
So we got this nice color,
nice depth of field.
We got you and the small rocks--
SEAN: Start up here.
DARRYL: --then we
glide across, and you
got you and the big rocks.
- OK.
And this is where
it all happens.
Little travel in
the shot, land there.
This is where it all happens.
Yeah.
I'm going to win
an award for this.
You make magic
with the camera?
- Yeah.
- All right, good.
Let's go.
Let's do it.
- All right.
- We got it?
Yep?
Everybody set?
DARRYL: This is it.
All right, how's my hair?
DARRYL: It's still there.
Robyn?
Thank you.
ROBYN: So, Mr. Reynolds, finally
back in the saddle after four
years, tell me, what to
you skeptics do, when
you get a case of the jitters?
Mostly we act competent.
Oh, thank you.
You're welcome.
And I'm sure
you'll give us one
of your patented goddess shaman
blessings, before we shoot?
- Well, of course.
- Good.
Darryl, we're going
to shoot that next.
DARRYL: Of course we will.
No, if you want a blessing,
let's just do it now.
Well, I'm ready to go here.
It's raining, so we'll save the
fucking blessing for next, OK?
Come on, come on.
Rain, we got to go.
Sean, consider
yourself blessed.
Thank you for your
professionalism.
Are we-- Kevin, are you set?
Yeah.
DARRYL: Sweet.
All right.
When you're ready, buddy.
DARRYL: Kev.
What?
DARRYL: Soundman doesn't
usually stand in frame.
Come on.
Over here.
Oh, yep.
Sorry.
Thank you.
Got it.
DARRYL: You're awesome.
Yeah, microphone
doesn't normally poke
the talent in the head either.
KEVIN: Oh, OK.
My bad.
My bad.
DARRYL: Step away please.
Thank you.
You're rolling.
Hoax Busters, intro take 1.
California's lost
coast, more than 400
square miles of
unpopulated forests,
mountains, and streams--
but maybe not so unpopulated.
Here we are in beautiful
northern California.
More rain's set
in, and we should
be at Fieldbrook any time now.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
DARRYL: What?
What?
SEAN: That was it That was it.
You missed it.
That was the turn right there.
You missed it.
DARRYL: That?
SEAN: You must have blinked.
You've got to be kidding me.
That is a shack on
the side of the road.
The sign said
Fieldbrook General Store.
DARRYL: I'm fine.
It looks-- looks chewy.
Is it any good?
SEAN: Pretty good.
Needs more basil.
Buy stock in the company.
DARRYL: I plan on it.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Guys, this is him.
I got it.
Yes, hello.
Mr. Drybreck?
Yes, this is Sean Reynolds.
The Sasquatch
Bigstick-- it's actually
ground from Sasquatch ass.
SEAN: We're here.
We're here in Fieldbrook--
KEVIN: It actually
could be, like, a thing.
SEAN: --right in front of the--
ROBYN: Hey, save me a bite.
SEAN: --Fieldbrook
General Store.
Hey, if you sit
thre long enough,
you will literally
look like him.
SEAN: Yes, sir.
Robyn-- Robyn.
KEVIN: But you can grow hair on
your chin, so it's-- you know,
he can't do that.
ROBYN: Yes?
SEAN: One second please.
OK.
Hold on a second.
OK, go ahead.
Uh-huh.
8.2 miles south
out of Fieldbrook.
OK.
OK, then 4.2 west oak tree--
2.6 back north.
Uh-huh.
And then?
What is this,
the Himalayas, man?
SEAN: OK, OK.
DARRYL: Come on.
Thank you.
Thank you, sir.
I got it.
DARRYL: Can you even read that?
Kev, we're out.
Let's go.
- Oh, sorry.
OK.
Bye.
Thanks for the story.
And I didn't mean the Santa
Claus thing in a bad way.
It's just--
SEAN: Kevin.
--beard.
Sorry.
Last mileage again
please, Darryl?
DARRYL: Yep, that is
4.3 miles on the nose.
Well, it's been
45 minutes now.
It's begun raining again.
And according to Drybeck's
somewhat complicated driving
instructions--
Paranoid-- paranoid
driving instructions.
SEAN: Thank you.
KEVIN: Thank you.
We seem to be lost.
There should be a
left turn right here.
Great.
Great, we're in the
middle of nowhere
with $7,500 in unmarked bills.
ROBYN: Kevin.
No, OK?
Look-- fucking pot farmer
gang members out here, man.
There are hardcore
Colombians and shit, man.
DARRYL: Kevin, chill, man.
Let it flow.
KEVIN: What?
Ain't nothing like
that's going to happen.
You're much more likely to have
a leg torn off by a Sasquatch.
SEAN: Darryl.
It's like you're
not even getting wet.
How the hell's that--
Does that look anything
like a road to you?
DARRYL: That looks
like a bike trail.
SEAN: I know.
DARRYL: Fat tires.
But hey, it could be.
SEAN: Definitely tire
tracks though, yeah?
DARRYL: Yeah.
ROBYN: Come on, you guys.
Have a little faith.
What's the worst
that could happen?
SEAN: Come on, baby.
All right, all right.
All right.
We got to get something
under that tire.
I need a tree
branch or something.
KEVIN: Holy crap.
Hey-- hey, Professor Bigfoot--
look, 9 o'clock.
What's-- what's that?
Ssh ssh ssh.
Mr. Drybeck.
Got the wrong tread
for this terrain.
Sean Reynolds.
Yeah.
It's nice to finally meet you.
Your directions, they had
us going there for a bit.
These three are your--
your crew.
Fine.
Gather your things.
Follow me, please.
From here on out, we'll
be traveling in my truck.
I'm sorry.
Wait.
We're driving with this guy?
Leave your van here.
And hurry, please.
(BREATHLESS) We don't want
to be traveling after dark.
Uh, tell me, tell me you
got that nice tight shot
with good sound.
ROBYN: Yeah, Sean.
I got every word,
even his comment
about our inappropriate tread.
I love you.
Hey, hey.
I'm not leaving this here.
Buddy, this guy, he's
made for reality television.
Look at him.
No.
We just struck gold, guys.
Get excited.
Come on.
Let's get the van unloaded.
I come back and this is
gone, I'm going to-- d'oh.
Don't even--
These guys are made for,
like, to catch a predator.
Enough.
And now for the
sad part, folks.
Handing over $75,000
just to a crazy man.
And on top of
that, he's covering
all the production costs.
He's spending over
$100,000 on this.
What?
ROBYN: Emmy.
Think Emmy.
Think broke.
Appreciate that.
Oh.
All worth it.
CARL: One last formality,
ladies and gentlemen.
Cell phones, please.
Oh, man.
You'll get no
reception at the cabin.
And I assure you, you will
get them back upon our return.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Now, pass these out, please.
Put these on your heads.
What?
And under no circumstances
remove them until you
are instructed to do so.
Is that clear?
Is that clear?
Yeah.
Yes, sir.
CARL: Good.
Quickly now, please.
Here's your present, D.
Great.
Hoods.
Guy's with the frickin' Taliban.
I hate all of you.
In for a penny, in
for a pound, buddy.
I don't know what that means.
There's no handle.
There is no door handle.
Get in the car.
What kind of car
has no door handle?
Tell me, is there no evidence
for the Sasquatch that, uh,
teases your doubt?
Afraid not.
Now that the Patterson
film has been debunked,
what do you really have?
You got-- you got
stories and footprints.
Footprints.
DARRYL: Hey, what's
the Patterson film?
I'm sure you've
seen it, Mr. Coleman.
Nothing less than
a motion picture,
with a large Sasquatch striding
through the wilderness.
DARRYL: Oh, right.
SEAN: Except it was a
guy in a gorilla suit,
and the guy who wore
it confessed to it.
KEVIN: Oh, God.
Oh, God.
SEAN: Hey, puke
on his floor, Kev.
Come on, man.
Let it flow.
He deserves it.
KEVIN: Oh.
SEAN: Jesus.
KEVIN: Oh.
We have arrived.
KEVIN: Oh, Jesus.
And as for that gorilla suit,
several eminent scientists have
all attested to the
fact that it cannot
possibly have been a costume.
KEVIN: All right.
Let me out.
Let me out.
Get that door open.
It's coming.
It's coming.
[VOMITING]
Don't forget to smell it.
Poor Kevin.
You doing OK over there, Kev?
You gonna make it?
You're tough.
Check out this little pow wow.
Who's that guy?
Remember the, uh,
press conference footage?
Yeah.
That's Jacques La Roche.
Oh, right.
Canadian tracker, been
Drybeck's number-two for years.
Yeah, I remember that guy.
[WHISTLE]
Mr. Lancaster.
Get away from that pole.
It'll kill you.
That'd be good.
I take it we can start
unloading the truck then.
Your sleeping quarters
are there and there.
Main cabin's up there
under the trees.
I'll see you all
for supper shortly.
All right.
And over there, that's
where I'll get hacked up.
And over there, that's where
Sean will get hacked up.
Kevin.
Chill, man.
Jesus.
Come on.
Help me get the Bronco unloaded.
- Yeah.
Give me a hand here.
Please tell me
you brought a gun.
Don't worry, old body.
Get that inside before
Bigfoot smells your lunch.
So despite Drybeck's
warnings of boogeymen,
Robyn has taken it
upon herself to welcome
the forest people and a large
community of mosquitoes.
Meanwhile, as we step
inside, it doesn't
take long to note
that our sleeping
quarters are pretty spartan.
No electricity.
Kerosene lamps for light.
No heat in these cabins either.
But for those late-night trips
to the latrine, we do have--
Nice.
Oh.
[CLANK]
It's full.
Oh.
OK.
We'll cut there.
Uh, why don't you and
Kevin take this cabin,
and Robyn and I will
bunk in the other one.
Yeah.
That's no problem.
I'll pit my snoring against
his whining any day,
although he may need a
midnight breastfeeding.
I know you're good
with that, so I
can go to sleep with Robyn
if you want to stay in here
and help out.
It's already cool.
I've already milked off a
couple of quarts for you.
[CACOPHONY OF INSECTS]
Are you shooting?
Yeah.
All right.
Let's go.
As much as I hate to interrupt
Robyn's third welcoming
ceremony, if I don't eat soon,
Bigfoot's not the guy we're
going to have to worry about.
Hi.
I'm very hungry.
[RUSTLING BUSHES]
Did you hear that?
What?
Somebody's moving out
there on the hillside.
[CACOPHONY OF INSECTS]
Probably like a squirrel
or a raccoon, right?
No.
It's much bigger.
Yeah.
I think I heard some growling.
But, uh, pretty sure
that was my stomach.
Oh, the energy
here is very strange.
It's definitely not what
I would call welcoming.
Let's eat.
You heard her.
Come on, man.
I'm hungry.
Let's eat.
Let's go.
Sorry.
You guys coming?
Yes.
It's my bad.
ROBYN: Is there
any meal plan here?
Or do we have to
fend for ourselves?
I don't know the
answer to that.
ROBYN: Heh.
It's cold tonight.
[BIRD CALLING]
Jesus.
Whoa.
I found Drybeck, guys.
Mr. Drybeck, um, we
brought a whole bunch
of technological
gizmos and gadgets
that work a lot better
with electricity.
We're completely cut off
out here, Mr. Reynolds.
And I have a sweet little
generator in the back which
will provide enough power for
your lights, not to mention
our primary means of
defense against some,
uh, recent aggression
displays we've been
experiencing lately at night.
[ELECTRIC BUZZ]
And there was light.
Oh, nice.
Oh.
Lighting perimeter too.
Worry about that later.
Now, ladies and
gentlemen, dinner awaits.
Sweet.
Best news I've heard all day.
Watch your step.
Welcome to we talk.
Oh, ho.
The gathering place.
Nice.
This just gets
better and better.
Check that out.
Look at all this Bigfoot stuff.
Damn.
CARL: And now, red or white?
Hm?
I'm more of a red
kind of guy, actually.
Look at this, all right?
Yeah.
That's perfect.
That'll get it.
Except now your
sleeve's on fire.
What?
Oh, Jesus.
ROBYN: Oh, my gosh, Kev.
Aargh.
ROBYN: Kevin, you OK?
Kev, hit it with
your other hand.
KEVIN: What?
SEAN: It'll put it--
it'll put it out.
Just hit it with
your other hand.
KEVIN: Don't just say shit.
ROBYN: Oh, my gosh.
SEAN: Just smack it.
ROBYN: Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
You all right?
[LAUGHTER]
- Hey, you all right?
- Yeah
- You get it out?
- Are you OK?
Yeah.
ROBYN: You OK, Kevin?
- Yeah.
I'm fine.
My bad.
OK.
Get set up for sound, huh?
ROBYN: Please stop
laughing at him.
Let's get you a little
more wine here, Mr. Drybeck.
[CLINK]
That's enough.
Please.
There we go.
OK.
Darryl, you all set?
DARRYL: Got it.
SEAN: OK.
First of all, I think we all
want to thank you for what
was an excellent dinner.
Absolutely.
Good stuff, Mr. D.
ROBYN: I'm going to
have to get that recipe.
And also I want to thank you
for letting us shoot outside.
I know you're hesitant to
be out here after dark.
So I appreciate--
Well, caution is always
wise, Mr. Reynolds.
But since you have paid
handsomely for the opportunity,
I shall try to accede
to your wishes.
We will, of course,
have to retreat inside
at the first sign
of any visitors, hm?
OK.
Campfire spook story.
Gotta love it.
Heh heh heh.
OK.
Uh, so just to kick things
off, why don't you tell us
your best Bigfoot story.
More than two years
ago, this summer,
I was at the headwaters
of the Klamath
River surveying ranch property.
My partner at the
time, Frank Killbuck,
had brought along his
big yellow Labrador.
He thought we might
need one, and we did.
One night when we
returned to camp,
we discovered that
something had rummaged
through all of our things.
Frank took a lantern, followed
tracks up a game trail.
After a while, he came back,
stood in front of the fire,
looked at me.
He said, Drybeck, that bear's
been walking on two legs.
I had no idea what
he was suggesting,
till about midnight
when we heard it.
I smelled it.
Terrible smell.
And there it was.
Most disturbing
sight I've ever seen.
No further away than,
uh, I am from you.
It's, uh, steaming breath
coming in, uh, short grunts.
[CLEARS THROAT] Towering ape,
9 feet, matted brown hair,
it's eyes staring down on me.
What did you do?
Nothing I could do.
Frank fired off the shotgun.
The dog lunged for it and then
go back out into the blackness,
till we couldn't hear
it barking any more.
About 8 feet up,
right above our heads,
was the body of the
yellow Labrador,
impaled onto a tree branch.
KEVIN: Whoa.
It's a great story.
No.
I mean, whoa,
something's moving--
[RUSTLING BUSHES]
--out in the trees.
Just as I thought.
The campfire's attracted
their attention.
Everybody gather your things.
I didn't-- I
didn't hear anything.
Lucky for you.
If you want to continue
this interview,
we will do it inside, please.
OK.
- Quickly now.
- OK.
Wrap it up.
Let's head inside.
Come on.
[LOUD TAPPING]
- Oh, God.
- Hey, guys.
I'm ready to go here.
- Yeah, we're set.
We're set.
ROBYN: Mr. Drybeck,
we're ready for you.
So, uh, where do you need me?
Tonight, I thought we
would lay the groundwork
for my theory of the Sasquatch's
origin and its purpose.
And I thought maybe we
could keep our audience awake.
Sorry.
Um, maybe you could give
us just a little taste,
a tease, if you
could show us where
you're keeping this evidence.
I'm afraid that won't
be possible, Mr. Reynolds.
There's no way we could keep
the evidence here at the cabin.
Of course not.
Why would you?
Why would you do that?
You have no idea the
precautions we've had to take,
Mr. Reynolds.
SEAN: We've got a
pretty good idea.
What with the bizarre driving
instructions, the, uh,
hoods over our heads,
confiscating our cell phones,
the electric fence running
around the entire property.
Oh, that fence, as you call
it, is the key to everything
we've accomplished.
SEAN: Heh.
An electric cattle fence.
What does it do?
Keep Bigfoot out of the yard?
CARL: Let me ask you something.
Have you ever asked
yourself why the, uh,
physical evidence
for the Sasquatch,
its bones, its remains,
why nothing conclusive
has ever been found?
SEAN: Oh, I don't know.
Maybe because Sasquatch
doesn't exist.
And yet, we've had an
estimated 50,000 sightings
in the last century alone.
How do you explain that?
Did you know that the
Native Americans believe
he's got one foot
in the spirit world,
able to move between
our world and the next.
KEVIN: That's epic.
I'm sorry.
It's just-- I--
you have like a-- you
have a really great, uh,
speaking voice.
SEAN: Kevin.
So it just sucks me
in and it freaks me out.
CARL: Thank you, Mr. Lancaster.
Two centuries of
scientific study and it
still defies explanation.
Then stop.
Stop trying to explain it and
just show us the damn evidence.
I-- I gotta tell you, Mr.
Drybeck, with all of your,
uh, delays and secrecy
and your paranoia,
it's starting to
look like you're
either a fraud or delusional.
CARL: So now I'm delusional.
Did your psychiatrist
suggest this aggressive
journalistic approach?
Perhaps to, uh,
forestall your next visit
to the Pasadena
Psychiatric Center.
SEAN: OK.
We'll cut there.
DARRYL: No, he's uh--
looks like he's
done his homework.
I wouldn't want to miss your
delicious off-the-cuff answer,
so go ahead.
This could be gold.
No.
We wouldn't want to
miss that, would we?
Screw the evidence we came for.
Now all we care about is
Sean's mental breakdown?
Man, I'm just saying,
it's good stuff right there.
[CLATTER]
What the hell was that?
CARL: They're taking
out the generator.
What do you mean?
Wait.
What do you mean they?
- Kevin.
Kevin.
Please, drop it.
No.
Who the hell's they?
SEAN: Robyn.
Are you all right?
ROBYN: Yeah, I'm fine.
[GUTTURAL SOUND]
ROBYN: Did you hear that?
SEAN: Hear what?
ROBYN: Outside.
Listen.
It sounded like something
shouted from far away.
Uh, no.
I did not hear anything.
I don't want to hear anything.
Darryl, do we
have the, uh, do we
have the night vision cameras?
DARRYL: Yeah, they're
in the sleeping cabin,
but don't worry, this
shoots great in low light.
Sweet.
Guys, I'm not going outside.
[GROWL]
Now, that I heard.
Oh, damn.
ROBYN: Do you see
anything, Sean?
Ssh, ssh, ssh.
[CRICKETS]
That was no
canine, I assure you.
It was the start of
an aggression display.
Meaning, of course, it's--
Your hoax, Mr.
Reynolds, your hoax.
And as such, our priority
should be re-electrifying
the perimeter fence.
Yeah?
You gotta put the tinfoil hat
back on this, 'cause I got you.
I got you.
Let's go get it.
- No.
No.
No.
What it-- guys.
CARL: I highly recommend
you stay inside.
KEVIN: Yeah.
I'm not going outside, guys.
That's just it.
You're putting the
camp-- we're going?
SEAN: So there's a hundred
different animal species
right outside that front door.
We're out in the
middle of nowhere
in the middle of the woods,
and your first explanation
for a sound is Sasquatch?
ROBYN: Come on, Kev.
DARRYL: (WHISPERING) Yeah,
I'm not getting much,
but I'm getting a
dim shot of you.
SEAN: (WHISPERING) Kevin,
you hearing anything?
KEVIN: Nothing,
except my heartbeat.
[CACOPHONY OF INSECTS]
ROBYN: Listen.
[BARK]
ROBYN: Over to the right.
[GROWL]
SEAN: This show just
went up 10 rating points.
That's the promo right there.
Did you see?
No.
(WHISPERING) I
don't see anything.
ROBYN: Oh, guys.
Drybeck's in the shed.
Check it out.
Oh, damn.
That's a direct hit.
[SQUEAKING DOOR]
That'd just be an
accident, though, right?
Or somebody threw
it to scare us.
ROBYN: You think La Roche did?
Yeah.
Probably.
I bet you that's it.
Can you fix it?
CARL: Not tonight.
We don't have time.
Mr. Reynolds, shut
off the light, please.
[LOUD GROWL]
Right now, I wouldn't
mind if it was La Roche.
CARL: It was not La
Roche, I assure you,
or any other human
for that matter.
You talk about
evidence, Mr. Reynolds.
I would think this
is all you need.
Well, since the fence cannot
be repaired tonight, we have no
choice but to retreat inside.
[HEAVY BREATHING]
Maybe we should
do what he says.
OK.
OK, you follow him.
You film every second.
You're not coming?
What do you say, boys?
A quick trip around
the perimeter?
Stop at the cabin, get
some fresh batteries?
You risk killing me
to get fresh batteries?
You know what?
Hell with this.
I'm going with Robyn.
Be careful.
Darryl, come on.
What do you say, man?
Death by Bigfoot.
It'll look great
on your tombstone.
It's La Roche.
This is the Canadian
tracker guy.
He's been, uh--
What'd you hear?
I don't know.
(WHISPERING) Nothing.
Come on, man.
God damn it.
Did you hear that?
No, man.
I didn't hear shit.
Well, our first night that we're
out here, all this crazy stuff
starts to happen?
[SHARP CLICKING]
[RUSTLING BUSHES]
Listen.
[SHARP CLICKING]
What?
Did you hear that?
No.
[CRACKING BRANCH]
Look out!
Go.
Go.
Fucking.
[HEAVY BREATHING] God, where
the fuck did that come from?
You're not fucking kidding me.
I'm not standing
around and getting
something dropped on my head.
Now, get the fuck outta here.
OK.
OK.
OK.
We can get the batteries later.
Let's get back to the cabin.
Come on.
Oh, they're
heading back, fast.
ROBYN: Something happened.
[BAM]
CARL: Mr. Lancaster, step
away from that window.
ROBYN: Those noises, I take it
that you've heard them before?
CARL: For the past
several weeks.
Damn fools.
I warned them.
And now I'm warning you.
Step to the center
of the room, please.
ROBYN: What are you going to do?
CARL: As little as possible.
But they've never taken
out the fence before.
[COUGHING]
Gotcha.
Damn it.
Awesome.
Now you got a gun.
CARL: That is a fact
that you may come
to appreciate, Mr. Coleman.
Now, please, gentlemen.
Step to the center of the room.
We didn't see
anything outside,
just, uh, there's somebody
thrashing around making noises.
Still almost died, though.
What?
Yeah, a falling tree branch.
CARL: Yeah.
That's typical.
Hey, man.
This battery's
not going to last.
ROBYN: Listen.
[CREAKING]
[CRASH]
What the?
CARL: You wanted
evidence, Mr. Reynolds.
Yeah, some evidence.
La Roche could be out there.
CARL: Please, keep
your voices down now.
[HEAVY BREATHING]
[LOUD POUNDING]
Oh, my God, this
isn't happening.
This isn't happening.
What, is it
throwing rocks now?
What?
Hey, La Roche
is throwing rocks.
Yeah, right?
[HIGH-PITCHED TONE]
Gah.
[LOUD POUNDING]
Ssh, ssh, ssh.
OK.
That got me.
Easy.
Heh heh heh heh.
That was pretty good.
- That was good.
That was pretty good.
He's not done.
[CLATTER]
Oh, come on, man.
You just going to
stand here while it
comes through the wall?
- Hey!
Turn that light off!
- Hey.
Not cool, man.
- Guys.
Everybody down.
You think it's funny with
just playing us like this, huh?
- Easy.
- Ssh.
Jesus Christ.
What the fuck is out there?
[HEAVY BREATHING]
Quit fucking around.
CARL: (WHISPERING)
Mr. Reynolds, don't.
Don't.
Fuck it.
Something else, please.
I gave you 75,000 reasons
to let me do what I want.
Please don't open the door.
See who it is.
[GASPING]
Heh heh heh heh.
- Oh, man.
- All right.
Gimme, gimme.
- Oh, that was good.
Give me a recap.
- Oh.
- That was good.
We got some good stuff.
Give me a recap.
Let's do this quick.
Hold it.
Hold up.
OK.
OK.
OK.
Hey.
Night number one here
at the Drybeck cabin
and far from an uneventful one.
A series of unknown noises
from the north, south,
and east walls of the cabin.
Their origin unknown to us.
Our brief foray into the
black beyond this door
revealed no clear
source of the sounds.
So now we wait.
We wait.
That's where we'll end.
Nice.
Darryl, what is
the only thing better
than 12 episodes, my friend?
DARRYL: 13 episodes.
13 episodes.
That's it.
Shut it down.
We're good.
DARRYL: Heh heh.
Good stuff, man.
Good stuff.
SEAN: OK.
It's been more than an hour
since the last noise now.
And believe it or not, the
world's bravest woman says
she needs her beauty sleep.
Respect the
unknown, gentleman.
Don't fear it.
Fear?
Shit.
I'm excited.
I mean, what's
better than heading
off to ice-cold
sleeping bags and cabins
with cardboard walls?
Thank you.
You're welcome.
There's no way I'm
going outside, man.
I'm sorry.
I'm staying here.
OK.
You're more than
welcome to stay here.
Stay here with
crazy shotgun dude.
ROBYN: Come on, gentlemen.
Our visitors, whoever they
are, are long gone by now.
SEAN: Yeah, come on.
Ugh.
Damn, it's dark out here.
Did I mention I had
poor night vision?
'Cause I do.
I wish I did.
Moonshine.
Wait.
No.
No.
Hold on.
No.
Hold on.
Wait.
You get to sleep with her,
and I'm stuck with Darryl?
Come on, man.
I threw up.
I set my arm on fire.
This is bullshit.
He's got a point, you know.
I mean, between my
snoring and your moaning,
he's pretty much fucked.
ROBYN: Darryl.
I'm not a moaner.
(WHISPERING) I'm a screamer.
DARRYL: Oh.
Oh ho.
So to make it clear, when she
does scream, do not come help.
Fuck you, man.
Don't kid yourself.
Heh heh heh.
Come on, Darryl.
[ENGINE REVVING]
Hey.
Hey!
Hey!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Hey, Drybeck!
Stop!
[ENGINE REVVING]
(ANGRILY) Damn it.
Hey.
What's going on?
Drybeck.
He just-- he took off.
What?
Drybeck just took off
like a bat outta hell.
Fuck.
That figures.
He take the money?
He took the money, right.
No.
No.
He took my breakfast order.
I'm sure he'll be back any--
- (ANGRILY) Fuck.
I don't know.
I knew it.
You fucking pay an old
bastard like that--
Hey.
--75 grand, it's a
fucking expensive camera.
It's not the end
of the world, OK?
Fucking A.
Relax.
Hey, he left the
generator on for us.
What a nice guy, huh?
$75,000 electric bill.
Get Kevin up, will ya?
Damn it.
Kevin, wake the fuck up.
Robyn.
Hey, Robyn, we got a problem.
Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty.
It's Von Trapp
family meeting time.
What happened?
SEAN: Drybeck's gone.
Get ready.
I'll meet you outside.
Relax, Darryl.
I'm sure he had a good reason
to take off this morning.
He's playing us.
He's probably out
behind some TV watching
this whole fucking thing.
ROBYN: Morning, Kevin.
Hey.
Morning, Kev.
Want coffee?
Here you go.
There's toast in the kitchen.
You're lucky I love toast.
We may have been abandoned.
At least we've got food.
So fearless leader, what
is the game plan now?
What's the genius move, huh?
Lead us into the light.
What?
Like we've got a choice?
We're hoofing it
back to the van.
OK.
I checked it out.
The tire tracks are
as clear as day.
Well, not so fast.
You see, I've spent
this morning going over
some of last night's footage.
We're getting gold here, people.
Dude, the man split
with your money.
He's not coming back.
We can't shoot without him.
Great.
He's on his way to Jamaica.
That's my problem.
In the meantime, we should
get as much footage as we can.
Are you kidding me?
Dude, we are cut off out here.
We're in the middle of nowhere.
ROBYN: Yeah.
But there's got to be
some physical evidence
for the noises that we
were hearing last night.
Ha ha.
That's my girl.
Exactly.
Fine.
Two more points, I'm in.
Yeah, damn.
I-- I didn't sign
up for this, man.
OK.
Hold on, boys.
There'll be plenty of time
to talk about that later.
Today--
That he gets.
--it's war.
Darryl, I want you to get out
to 8 to 200 millimeter zoom.
Going to be a lot of
low-light situations.
Kevin, bust out the syncing mic.
Robyn, pack up the game cameras.
ROBYN: You got it.
Technology is about
to kick Bigfoot's ass.
Uh, sound is good.
Kevin.
(LOUDER) Kevin.
Hm.
Oh.
Damn, I wish Curtis was here.
Hey, you gotta
to step outside.
It's a simple concept, man.
There's a rectangle.
You just stand outside of it.
- OK.
OK.
My bad.
You know what?
Don't even sweat it.
I got it.
Day two.
Scene 1, take 3.
[CLICK]
Thank you, kitten.
And Darryl, don't be filming
my ass when I walk away either.
DARRYL: Yes, ma'am.
SEAN: Mr. Coleman.
Thank you.
So after a literally disquieting
night in the Drybeck cabin,
we've begun in
earnest our search
for the first hard evidence
of the existence of Bigfoot.
And given the nature and
proximity of last night's
noises, we've needed
to look little farther
than the exterior of the cabin.
And I have to say, the
damage is quite extensive.
Numerous impact marks here,
and if you look just a little
further down and
a little closer,
you'll find what appears
to be claw marks.
And, nice touch.
Now, I'm going to step
back for a second.
It's right about here where
you are suddenly confronted
by what is an
absolutely overwhelming
odor, incredibly unpleasant.
So I'm going to do this
as quickly as possible.
We have right down here on
the side of the cabin what
appears to be urine residue.
Bigfoot urine?
I'll let you be the judge.
And we'll cut there.
Oh, my God.
You think he could have at least
written his name or something.
- Oh.
- Maybe it's Drybeck's
La Roche loves asparagus.
How can you guys be
that close to that?
This is good, man.
This is good.
This is a great setup.
Not too bad.
Oh.
OK, Darryl.
What do you think, man?
I mean, heh, part of me wants
to ridicule how obvious this is.
No, no, no.
Let it build.
Let it build until the end.
Didn't you learn
anything from Scooby Doo?
Come on now.
Fuck this, man.
DARRYL: Oh, Kevin.
Zoinks.
Let's get down to the river.
This is awesome.
SEAN: Come on.
Let's move, guys.
ROBYN: But the feeling is
totally different here.
I don't know.
Actually, in a way, it
feels more balanced.
But there's something else.
I don't know.
There, by the stream.
Oh.
Hey.
Guys, check it out.
- Slow down.
- Oh ho ho ho.
- Jesus.
Sorry.
My bad.
Darryl?
You getting this?
Got it.
OK.
Um, We found some conveniently
large and clear footprints.
For reference--
DARRYL: No.
Go to the other side.
Other side.
SEAN: Oh, OK.
DARRYL: Oh, this is nice.
SEAN: All right.
DARRYL: Start over.
SEAN: So we found some
conveniently large and clear
footprints here.
For reference, I'm a size 11.
KEVIN: I thought you
said this was a hoax.
Kevin, they're footprints.
Come on.
I could make it look like
a Tyrannosaurus walked
around here if I wanted to.
What the hell is that?
That is a tree, Kevin.
Sorry.
Freaking out.
Freaking out.
ROBYN: Hey, I'm going
to check down this way
and look for more footprints.
I'm going to check
the other side.
I should've left this morning.
I would be remiss at
this point in not remarking
on the landscape
behind me which, to me,
seems eerily similar
to the landscape
we all recognize from the
famous Patterson-Gimlin film.
ROBYN: Hey, guys.
Over here.
SEAN: Oh.
DARRYL: Ho.
Nice.
SEAN: So here, we've found
another set of prints.
ROBYN: No.
Down here.
DARRYL: There it is.
SEAN: Well, that clears
things up a bit, doesn't it?
Heh heh heh.
Tell me, Darryl, my friend, does
Drybeck strike you as the sort
of guy who wears sneakers?
DARRYL: No, he does not, Sean.
He strikes me as more of
a Jack boot kind of guy.
You think this is La Roche?
Ah, well, I find that
the simplest explanation
is usually the best.
DARRYL: I concur.
ROBYN: All right, you guys.
Why don't we spin
your theories later.
Let's just try to get a feel
for what's going on around here.
DARRYL: Well, I
want to get a feel.
SEAN: I think she said
she wanted to feel you.
DARRYL: Oh.
ROBYN: I didn't
mean it that way.
Thank you.
KEVIN: Guys.
No, no, no.
You could have
meant it that way.
KEVIN: Guys, could we be--
- We're talking a feel.
Can we be respectful?
- Come on, Kevin.
- All right.
I'd like to feel.
Yeah, everybody wants a feel.
Feel it up.
God, do you see
what I'm dealing with?
Robyn's been doing her
psychic thing for a while
now, trying to get
the vibe of the area.
But from the looks of
it, she's not very happy.
KEVIN: Oh, hold on.
Hold on.
- What are you doing?
- Ssh ssh ssh ssh.
- Come on, dude.
- Stop.
Stop.
- I'm in the middle of a take.
Shut up.
You hear that?
Wait.
Right there.
[RUSTLING]
DARRYL: Yeah, Kev,
sometimes those mics
get a little bit too sensitive.
Just chill out, man.
What is it, Kevin?
What does it sound like?
OK look.
Either you guys are
fucking with me, OK,
and that's not fucking
funny, or I heard
somebody, something talking.
OK?
But I don't know.
I've never heard that
fucking language before.
Kevin, calm down.
All right.
There's nobody talking
up there, all right?
Between the footprints
and your voodoo vibe,
he's just a little freaked out.
We're OK.
We're good, right?
- Yeah.
Dude, check out
these branches.
All right, come on.
ROBYN: For what it's worth,
I think I found a nest
down there in the clearing.
- You found a nest?
- Yeah.
A Bigfoot nest?
Yeah.
Come look.
Follow down here just
a little bit further,
we run into what Robyn is now
claiming to be a Bigfoot nest.
I want to get that right.
As we approach, the smell
really hits you immediately.
[FLIES BUZZING]
It's obviously-- it
obviously appears
to be made by an animal.
- You know what?
- As we look inside--
KEVIN: You know what?
Here.
Fuck this, OK.
- Hey, what's going on?
Come on, dude.
It's--
- You record your own sound, OK?
- Kevin.
Fuck, man.
Kevin.
You fucking approach the nest.
Just-- you guys are
fucking nuts, OK?
I'm sorry.
Do your own sound.
SEAN: It's not a
Bigfoot nest, Kevin.
It's some kind
of fucking nest,
and I don't want
to be near it, OK?
Sorry.
DARRYL: Fucking--
All right.
Take it easy.
Can you just--
I know you got a camera.
Can you just hold that up?
How am I going to--
Just hold it, please.
Please.
Thank you.
- Look.
Just-- I want to
show you something.
What?
Smell this.
It smells like them.
They've been here.
Oh, God.
Ho.
Jesus.
It smells like a
wet dog lost a fight
with a skunk or something.
OK.
You know what?
You know what?
I want to put the
game cameras here.
I want to put one here.
I want to put one
back down by the creek
where we found the footprints.
OK?
ROBYN: Sean, you're not going
to catch him on a game camera.
No, no.
Don't-- don't-- don't
be too sure about that.
Anything comes within 20 feet of
these babies, they get snapped.
We're going to get
whatever comes by here.
And it doesn't have
to be a Bigfoot.
Yeah.
That'll work.
Is that pointed right?
Does that look right?
I want to get one by the
footprints right away.
Let's go.
Hey.
- Just give it to me.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
You all right?
- Yeah.
I'm just going to
go check on Kevin.
DARRYL: Don't
worry about it man.
She's all right.
Oh, great.
Now what's he doing?
What do you think?
He's leaving.
What?
- You freaked him out.
- Yeah.
Seriously, folks.
It's been fun, but
I'm outta here, OK?
- Kev.
- No.
I don't know what you
guys are trying to pull,
but there is no way that I'm
going to be your Guinea pig.
Shit.
Seriously.
You're going to walk
away just like that.
KEVIN: Yes.
Yes.
I will take a
30-minute hike back
to the van over another
night in this freak show.
SEAN: Kevin, hey.
Kevin, come on, man.
God damn it.
Come with me, Darryl.
DARRYL: No.
Darryl, come with me.
DARRYL: No.
Come on.
Look.
Hey.
Hey.
You want to be
punked by these guys?
DARRYL: I'm not going to
be punked by these guys.
I'm not going to lose
my 15% of the show.
Jesus Christ.
- Kevin.
No.
Let it off.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
OK.
- Stop.
- Jesus.
Chill out.
Look.
I'm not saying don't go.
In fact, I think you should
hike back to the van.
I'm not staying
another night here.
OK.
We don't have to
stay another night.
I would like to know what you're
planning on doing with the van
without the keys.
So, yeah.
You hike back to the van.
OK?
I'll give you the keys.
Only I want you to
drive it back here, OK?
You said we're not
staying another night.
And we won't.
We'll shoot the rest of
the day till it gets dark.
Then we'll pack up nice
and neat and leave.
You want to get paid, right?
If you do this, you'll get
everything that's coming to ya.
Give me the keys.
OK.
Now there's one more thing.
It's no big deal.
I just want you to
wear the body mount
when you hike back to the van.
- No.
No.
Sean.
No.
- Will you stop.
- You are--
- Excuse me.
- --ridiculous.
- Excuse me.
Do you mind?
- You're outta control.
Will you take a second?
Take a breath.
- Get off me.
- Will you calm down?
DARRYL: Come on, guys.
It's not a big deal.
I just want him
to wear a camera.
It is a big deal.
So just relax while
I handle this, OK?
I just want you to
wear the body mount
when you hike back to the van.
- That is sick, man.
- You can do it.
- That is sick.
No, it's what you're going
to do if you want to get paid.
Give me the keys.
God help you if you don't
come back with that van.
You know what?
I don't-- I don't like--
I hate you and I
hate your shirt.
I hate everything.
Noted.
Kevin and Robyn and you too.
No matter what happens,
don't stop filming.
DARRYL: OK.
So night is approaching
here on day number two
at the Drybeck cabin.
Our sound engineer, Kevin, was
so shaken by what he heard,
he's hiked back to
retrieve our van.
That was more than an hour ago.
And we're still waiting.
As for Carl Drybeck,
there's still
no explanation for his sudden
disappearance this morning.
And as the hours
tick past, whatever
small shred of credibility
he still possessed
is rapidly vanishing.
Without his incontrovertible
evidence for the existence
of Bigfoot, we have little more
than footprints in the mud,
moans and groans, and
Robyn's heebie jeebies.
Did you get that?
DARRYL: Got it.
- Yes.
DARRYL: Damn.
I would watch this.
I would so watch his show.
I hate television, but
I will watch this show.
ROBYN: Heebie jeebies?
DARRYL: This is good, man.
ROBYN: Heebie jeebies.
That's what you think I have?
OK.
That was unfair.
It's more like you've
got the willies.
DARRYL: Or da creeps.
SEAN: Well, hey.
If you wanted me to
keep my mouth shut,
you should have said so.
Right.
OK.
You're right.
I apologize, OK?
Finito with the
sarcasm, I promise.
You too.
While we wait for Kevin, will
you please let me do my thing?
OK?
SEAN: Sage ceremony?
Get the night
vision camera ready.
DARRYL: Got it.
- I want that.
ROBYN: No no no no
no no no no no no no.
This is important.
I have to figure this out.
I totally agree.
I couldn't agree more.
And I want you to do your thing.
But I want you to
get it on film.
OK?
We'll set you up in
the body mount rig.
Nice, tight shot on your face.
It'll be perfect.
You gotta let me.
ROBYN: Sean.
I need to focus.
I'm doing this
for you, you know.
Thank you.
Looking good.
Yeah, that looks good.
Drybeck tries
anything, he's going
to stand out like a sore thumb.
Hope he does.
It would be a good
end to the show.
DARRYL: What does she do
with that stuff anyway?
It's called a smudging.
Done this on a lot of shows.
DARRYL: Then what?
She gets the sage burning.
Then she waves it around.
Supposedly it clears
away any bad mojo.
In the clear and perfect
channel, light is my guide.
I think she heard something.
[RUSTLING]
Mr. Drybeck?
You guys, not feeling so good.
Please.
I don't like this.
We've got to get closer.
[HEAVY BREATHING]
[ETHEREAL MOAN]
SEAN: Where's that
sound coming from?
Robyn, where are you?
Rob--
[SCUFFLE]
Oh, shit.
What the fuck was that?
What the fuck was that?
A fucking bear?
Shoot.
[GROWLING]
(FRIGHTENED) Sean?
Darryl?
SEAN: Robyn!
Robyn!
DARRYL: Robyn!
ROBYN: Sean!
[GROWLING]
[SCREAMING]
SEAN: Robyn!
[SCREAMING]
SEAN: Robyn!
[GROWLING]
Robyn!
You all right?
You all right?
Get her back to
the cabin quickly.
She OK?
You son of a bitch.
Now, you-- you
expect me to believe--
Hey!
Hey!
--you didn't anything
to do with this?
Get her back to the cab in.
She's hurt.
We're not safe out here.
Now!
- All right.
Get the fuck going.
Come on.
You OK?
Can you walk?
- Everything OK?
Can you walk?
You OK?
My leg.
Hey, you don't want me
to film this, I won't.
[GRUNTING]
The show must go on.
Besides, I can use
this in my lawsuit.
SEAN: Oh, God.
Oh.
Oh, Jesus.
I'm sorry.
SEAN: Lawsuit, nothing.
He's going to jail for that.
ROBYN: Actually, it's you
that I'm going to sue.
That's funny.
DARRYL: What the hell
happened out there?
I mean, was is Drybeck?
Did Drybeck carry your
through the woods?
Does this look like something
that Drybeck could do?
I don't know.
I was just too stunned.
It happened too fast.
SEAN: It doesn't matter.
He's responsible anyway.
Where the hell is he?
Drybeck!
Drybeck!
ROBYN: Guys, I don't think
I'm going to be to walk.
No, no, no.
You're not going to have to.
- We got you.
- Sit down.
You stay down.
We got this.
Hey, did you hear that?
Robyn needs a doctor.
Now, we're getting outta here.
Where the hell are
the cell phones?
Cell phones are
in a desk drawer.
As far as leaving, I'm
afraid that's impossible.
(ANGRILY) The hell it is.
Wait.
What?
We're getting outta
here, and you're going
to give me the goddamn keys.
If you only knew how
dangerous it was to even set
foot out here.
The only danger
we're facing out here
is from you and your
douche bag partner.
Yes, my partner.
If you only knew what
La Roche was doing.
He has been keeping an
eye on us for our safety.
Good.
Finally some truth.
Now, here's some more.
You're going to give me
the keys to this truck,
and we're going to take
Robyn to see a doctor.
Give me the keys.
[KEYS JINGLING]
- Aargh.
- Hey, mother fucker.
- Aargh.
Back up.
Back up.
CARL: Mr. Reynolds.
I got the keys.
What you're
suggesting is pointless.
I have been trying
all day long to find
a way out to the main road.
What the hell is that sound?
[SNORING]
That's La Roche.
Here, give me a hand.
He's badly injured.
He has a concussion.
Oh, shit.
Dislocated hip.
Rush.
I've been trying
unsuccessfully all day
to get him to the hospital.
Mr. La Roche.
He's unconscious.
He looks like he fell
down a hill or something.
He me get him back
inside the cabin.
What did you do?
He's going to a hospital
with the rest of us.
Mr. Reynolds, there's no
way out to the main road.
I've been trying all day long.
Every road is blocked.
Why can't you understand that?
Every road is blocked.
He's bullshitting, man.
[SCUFFLE]
Now, you stay back.
Stay back!
You keep an eye on him.
- Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
You put that camera down.
You help me get
Robyn in the truck.
- Yeah.
- You keep an eye on him.
I got it.
I got it.
You and your fucking
two-bit shoots.
SEAN: Get us outta here, buddy.
Robyn, you OK back there?
- Yeah.
But none of these cell phones
are getting any reception.
No bars, nothing.
SEAN: Damn it.
DARRYL: Oh, mother fucker.
Shit.
SEAN: What?
DARRYL: God damn it.
ROBYN: Listen.
I can't see.
DARRYL: The fucking tree!
SEAN: Hang on.
What the fuck could've
brought that down?
Christ.
DARRYL: It's a fucking redwood.
SEAN: Jesus.
Jesus Christ.
There's no way we're
getting around that.
DARRYL: Fuck!
ROBYN: Kind of explains why
Kevin's not coming back, huh?
You want to fucking continue.
So this is how it ends.
Like most hoaxes, with a lot
of indignation and bluster,
only this time innocent
people got hurt.
You have to ask yourself,
what kind of minds
are we dealing with when
an obsession like this
turns deadly?
God.
It is not deadly.
It is not fucking deadly yet.
Not if I have anything
to do with it.
Get back in the fucking truck.
Get back to the cabin.
Get us outta here.
You comfortable?
Eh.
Yeah.
SEAN: Nourishment.
Eh.
Thanks.
How's the leg?
It's a little bit better.
Anyone seen Drybeck?
Yeah.
He was shuffling around earlier,
taking care of La Roche.
Oh, poor guy.
I hope he's OK.
Save it, all right?
He probably got hurt
trying to scare poor Kevin,
dropping a tree on
him or something.
DARRYL: Jesus, man.
SEAN: What?
My money says the
wus just abandoned us.
What is this?
"Platoon?"
Really?
The dude is-- he's
dropping acid out there.
He thinks a war
is going to come.
What the f--
Stop.
How's Mr. La Roche?
He seems to be improving.
Another damn bed should suffice.
Stupid mistakes come
with a price, I'm afraid.
SEAN: Boy, do they.
And we're done paying.
Young lady's injuries
are not my fault.
You were all clearly warned.
SEAN: (ANGRILY) already.
DARRYL: Fuck you, man.
SEAN: You really don't
want to push me now.
ROBYN: Sean!
Sean!
SEAN: Do not defend him.
We're leaving.
OK?
Thank you for the show.
It has been a fascinating
anatomy of a hoax.
And you, you have played
your part beautifully.
Now, if you'd be kind enough
to give us a ride to where
that tree's blocking the road,
we can carry Robyn to our van
from there.
I'll do one better than that.
I'll show you the Coast Trail.
It's a shortcut to,
uh, Field Brook.
You'll be safer and
ultimately faster.
SEAN: We'll pass, thanks.
DARRYL: No.
And the trail will take us
right by where we've hidden
the body, the body of a
completely intact juvenile
gigantopithicus, Mr. Reynolds.
The Sasquatch.
SEAN: Darryl, take this camera.
DARRYL: Bullshit.
Fucking Sasquatch, Mr. Reynolds.
All right.
This is your final
opportunity, Mr. Reynolds.
If you walk that
road back to town,
you will have completely
voided our contract.
Is that understood?
Absolutely.
I'll keep your money.
Someone else will
get the unveiling.
SEAN: Hah.
Good luck.
I'm sure networks will be
jumping at the opportunity.
Fair enough.
And perhaps you'll be
kind enough to film this
as a teaser for the networks.
And what's this
supposed to be?
The anatomy of a
hoax, Mr. Reynolds.
When I return, you can,
uh, give me your decision.
DARRYL: Let me guess.
He's got Bigfoot's
wiener in a jar.
Right?
No.
It's a-- it's a
finger or something.
An orangutan.
Who knows?
DARRYL: It's bullshit,
whatever it is.
It's bullshit, whatever it--
Sean.
No.
We are not hiking
out with Drybeck, OK?
She's busted up.
This show is done.
I don't even know why I'm
still filming this shit.
If for no other reason to
protect our asses in case
something else happens.
Keep that camera up.
DARRYL: Fuck you, man.
What?
What are you thinking?
SEAN: It's the
goddamn money shot.
DARRYL: No.
You cannot be serious.
SEAN: 35%.
DARRYL: This is bullshit.
SEAN: 35%.
This is money you want.
ROBYN: You, guys.
(LOUDLY) That's enough.
This is my choice.
I am the one that has
to stay here alone.
SEAN: OK.
I need to talk to Drybeck.
Mr. Drybeck?
Could I talk to
you for a moment?
Oh, of course.
ROBYN: Let me just
set down my camera.
How are you today?
I'm well.
How are you doing?
Just a little sore.
Heh.
I'll bet.
Mr. Drybeck, um, last night
when whatever it was that
was carrying me,
when it dropped me--
It was a Sasquatch.
It was a Sasquatch, Miss Conway.
Yeah.
But it didn't feel like
it was trying to hurt me.
I mean, I don't know.
It just felt like it was trying
to rescue me from something.
By dragging you
through the woods?
Well, by dragging me away from
something, something dangerous.
I'm sorry, Miss Conway.
You just crossed into an
area of Sasquatch theory
that I find very difficult
to take seriously.
What theory?
One that I've been
arguing with Mr.
La Roche for years about.
He too believes the
Sasquatch's role is that
of a protector, a guardian.
The usual Native
American Indian fables.
Mr. Drybeck, what
are they supposed
to be protecting us from?
Why, the spirit world,
of course, Miss Conway.
Things on the other side.
I'm sorry.
Gotta put aside such childish
fantasies, Miss Conway.
What we're dealing with
here is nothing more
than a nocturnal
primate, one that
simply wants to be left alone.
I assure you, you have
absolutely nothing to fear.
Shouldn't be doing this.
SEAN: Easy.
Easy on the hill.
Fucking bullshit.
Slow.
Hey, Robyn?
Do me a favor.
Before you lock those
doors, you come in here
and you get my gun, OK?
Outer pocket.
It's loaded.
I'm going to put one in the
chamber for you and de-cock it.
All you gotta do,
point and shoot.
I am not touching your gun.
I wouldn't even know how
to use it if I needed it.
- Hey--
- No.
If it gets to that point,
you will know how to use it.
SEAN: Just do as
he says, all right?
I'll feel better.
Yeah, you'll feel better
when you get your money shot.
It's in the outer pocket.
Outer pocket, OK?
SEAN: Watch where
he puts it, please.
Please, just watch
where it goes.
Remember where it is.
I don't want you
to have to use it,
but it's better if you
know where it is, OK?
DARRYL: Fucking bullshit.
SEAN: Darryl, take this, please.
Yeah, all right.
SEAN: Listen.
Hey.
I have to know
you're OK with this.
Yes, I'm OK with this.
Look me in the eye, tell
me you're OK with this.
I am.
I'm fine, seriously.
I'm OK with this.
All right.
There's Drybeck.
Look.
I believe in you.
I wouldn't be doing
this otherwise.
Listen.
We'll be back soon, OK?
I mean, it might be dark, but I
promise we'll be back tonight.
DARRYL: Hey.
We going to do this or we
just stand around all day?
Because I'm fucking ready, man.
I'm fucking ready.
What are you gonna do?
- Are you OK?
Break a leg.
Lock yourself in
the cabin, please.
Yes.
Lock yourself in
the cabin, please.
DARRYL: Grab my gun.
And turn his damn fence on.
And promise me you
won't go outside.
ROBYN: I promise.
Thank you.
CARL: Come on, gentlemen.
Let's head out.
[HEAVY BREATHING] God damn.
How much father, man?
Watch you step, dude.
Hurry, gentlemen, please.
Your head, right here.
We don't have much time.
DARRYL: Hansel and
Gretel shit down here.
CARL: No no no no.
We don't have time for that.
Please, hurry.
SEAN: You want to tell
me why you hid this thing
so far from the cabin?
So I can remain in possession
of the body, Mr. Reynolds.
What?
So we're supposed to believe
that you and La Roche
dragged a 9-foot
Bigfoot this far.
I told you it was a juvenile.
You'll find out for
yourself soon enough.
Now, come on.
Juvenile.
Watch your footing up here.
You didn't mention
anything about this
being all uphill to the coast.
Because this camera's starting
to feel like it's made of lead.
[GRUNT]
There.
SEAN: That's where you hid it.
What, you bury it in sand?
DARRYL: You hiding from pirates?
There's a sea cave
over there, gentlemen.
We have a limited window of
opportunity at absolutely
low tide to access the passage.
Otherwise, the sea
blocks off the entrance.
A convenient
deterrent to those who
want to, uh, claim our trophy.
DARRYL: And who would that be?
Oh, they're a
legion, Mr. Coleman.
SEAN: (WHISPERING) Oh, God.
Who talks like that?
All right.
Get the-- get the whole
shoreline here to the south.
Come on.
DARRYL: Yeah.
SEAN: Is that the loop
around where we came from?
Watch your step.
All right.
Let's go.
DARRYL: It better
not be his wife.
SEAN: Get going in the cave.
Hold up.
Hold up.
ROBYN: Mr. La Roche?
[HEAVY BREATHING] Oh, God.
What happened to you?
Are you feeling better?
My name is Robyn Conway.
I've come to film the evidence.
Drybeck.
It's OK.
Mr. Drybeck will be back soon.
He-- he's with my friends.
They went to film the evidence.
(WHISPERING) Others.
What?
- Others.
- Others?
What does that mean?
The camera.
What camera?
In the truck.
The camera.
What camera?
Mr. La Roche?
Follow closely, gentlemen.
And don't touch anything
and don't speak.
DARRYL: Hey, can I
use a light or what?
Yes, you can use your light.
DARRYL: Fucking
dark in there, man.
Come on.
Follow my instructions
to the letter.
Is that understood?
DARRYL: Whatever.
We may have had some
unwanted visitors.
[WATER DRIPPING]
All right.
Come along now.
DARRYL: Water, water.
Watch the water.
Sean, get-- tight
tight tight tight.
SEAN: Watch yourself.
I said quiet.
Don't speak.
[GASPING]
[CREAKY DOOR OPENING]
[GRUNTS]
[CRIES OUT]
Oh, God.
I did not sign up for this.
This show better be sold
to fucking MTV or something
or I am personally going
to go postal on someone.
Oh, fuck this.
Oh, fuck.
Fuck.
Here.
Check this out, assholes.
How the fuck am I supposed
to get around that thing?
I was brought on to record
sound, fucking sound.
This is bullshit.
[GROWLING]
Oh.
Oh, no.
Oh.
[SCREAMS]
ROBYN: (CRYING).
All right.
Stay close by, gentlemen.
You with me?
SEAN: Yeah.
CARL: Quietly.
DARRYL: This is OK.
CARL: Quietly.
It's just down here
a little bit further.
OK.
It opens up up here.
When it does, get
all the interior.
I want to see all this.
Yeah.
There she is, Mr. Reynolds.
What you've been waiting
to see is in that box.
SEAN: Recognize that?
Ready, Mr. Conway?
DARRYL: Yeah.
OK.
Bring your camera in here.
Wait.
Stop.
What?
We're not alone.
What?
There's something
in here with us.
All right.
You stay here.
I'm going to-- I'm
going to go investigate.
SEAN: Wait.
Where you going?
DARRYL: What?
SEAN: Drybeck, where you going?
DARRYL: Oh, come on.
What the f--
That crazy mother fucker.
ROBYN: [HEAVY BREATHING]
[POUNDING]
[RATTLING]
[CREAKY DOOR]
[CLATTER]
[MOTOR STARTING]
All right.
Let me get some
shots of this thing.
No.
This'll-- this is going to--
this'll have to be the reveal.
So get, uh-- build it up.
Get everything around this and
then get down tight on the box.
And we'll lay some di-- ssh.
[GROWLING]
Drybeck.
Over there.
[CLATTER]
Oof.
Oh.
SEAN: You all right?
DARRYL: Oh.
SEAN: Darryl.
What happened?
DARRYL: Oh, God damn it.
I hit my nose.
SEAN: Let me see it.
Wow, you busted it open, dude.
DARRYL: Oh, fuck.
SEAN: You're bleeding.
DARRYL: Fucking rocks, man.
God damn, Drybeck.
Shine your light
over here, dude.
SEAN: I can't-- this-- this
light's not doing much, man.
It's dark in here.
DARRYL: D'oh.
SEAN: Darryl, watch out.
DARRYL: Ugh.
Dude.
I'm over here, man.
[WATER DRIPPING]
SEAN: Get the camera light on.
Let's find the flashlight.
DARRYL: OK.
I got it.
[CRASH]
DARRYL: Shit.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, shit.
SEAN: Darryl, what?
DARRYL: I saw it.
SEAN: What'd you see?
DARRYL: I don't know.
I fucking saw it, though, man.
SEAN: You saw Drybeck
or you saw whatever
Drybeck wanted you to see, OK?
Come-- pull it together.
DARRYL: Oh, my God.
Run.
Run.
SEAN: Let's go.
DARRYL: Let's get outta here.
SEAN: Drybeck?
CARL: They've broken through.
SEAN: Who?
CARL: Run.
SEAN: Jesus Christ, that's cold.
Watch your feet.
DARRYL: I swear I saw something.
You didn't see that shit?
It was fucking--
it was-- it was--
it was huge.
SEAN: Darryl, you
didn't see anything, OK?
Will you stop it?
Will you pull yourself
together and focus.
DARRYL: I swear to you.
SEAN: You saw whatever
Drybeck wanted you to see.
Now, get over it.
Put your head on straight.
Let's get back to that
cabin before Drybeck does.
DARRYL: There.
SEAN: All right?
Watch your step.
There's rocks everywhere.
[HEAVY BREATHING]
Even though I may have
never held a gun in my life,
Darryl's right.
I'll figure it out.
[ETHEREAL MOAN]
Oh, God.
No.
Please, no.
[HEAVY BREATHING]
[WHIRRING]
[CRIES OUT]
[HEAVY BREATHING]
[WHIMPERS]
ROBYN: Sean.
Darryl.
[CRASH]
[GROWLING]
[ROAR]
ROBYN: Stop it!
Stop it!
[SCREAMING] Oh, my God.
[WHIMPERING]
[HEAVY BREATHING]
[CRIES OUT]
[GROWLING]
[CRIES OUT]
[SCREAMS]
ROBYN: I should
have stayed inside.
[CRYING] I'm sorry.
[CRIES OUT]
[CRUNCHING]
OK.
Here's the story.
About a minute ago, we heard
what sounded like a gun.
[GUNFIRE]
- Oh, Jesus.
SEAN: What the fuck.
Get down.
He's right behind-- get down.
Move.
Where's Drybeck!
Hey, Drybeck!
It's Sean!
[SCREAMING]
- It's Sean.
Whoa whoa whoa whoa.
Put the gun down.
Put the gun down.
Let us help you.
I saw it.
Get back.
Go!
Go!
[GUNFIRE]
SEAN: Stay down, man.
What did you see?
DARRYL: You crazy mother--
[SCREAMING]
SEAN: God damn it.
DARRYL: Hey, Sean.
Hold it, man.
Hold it.
SEAN: Easy.
Easy.
Easy.
DARRYL: You see him?
SEAN: Did you see him?
I don't see him.
Do you know where he went?
Should we hold up?
CARL: Get back!
DARRYL: Oh, shit.
SEAN: There he is.
There he is.
Come on.
There he is.
DARRYL: Hey, man.
What you--
SEAN: Drybeck.
Fuck.
Drybeck!
DARRYL: Put the gun down, man.
SEAN: Let us help you, Drybeck.
CARL: All get back.
SEAN: Wait.
Wait.
[GROWLING]
What's going on?
[CRASH]
[GROWLING]
Where'd it go?
Where'd it go?
What the fuck?
What the fuck is that?
Oh, God.
Oh, fuck!
Oh, fuck!
[SCREAMING]
- Who's that?
- Oh, shit.
DARRYL: Bull shit.
Oh, fuck.
Sean.
Sean.
God damn it.
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
[GASPING]
DARRYL: (YELLING) Do not
break down on me now.
You will not break down on--
There's no fucking way I'm
going break down that mess.
DARRYL: Somebody did.
- Fuck no.
Fuck no.
DARRYL: Somebody did.
Shut the fuck up.
You just stand on your feet.
You get up on your feet.
Come on.
Come on.
Hey.
Hey.
We left Robyn alone
back at the cabin.
SEAN: Robyn!
DARRYL: What's wrong with you?
All right.
Fucking that's right.
All right.
OK.
You keep fucking filming.
DARRYL: No.
You want to fucking
take this, you fucking
take that camera yourself.
Fuck it.
Come on.
Come on.
Why don't you go fuck yourself.
Hey.
You fucking hold it together.
Hold it together.
All right.
You fucking stay with me.
SEAN: All right.
We gotta run.
- She better fucking be OK.
SEAN: We gotta run all the way.
- You fucking run hard.
Move.
Go on.
[HEAVY BREATHING]
[WIND]
You hear anything?
SEAN: No.
Robyn.
Robyn.
Robyn.
Robyn.
Robyn.
Robyn.
Robyn.
Robyn.
Robyn?
Robyn's not there.
She's gone.
La Roche.
La Roche is gone too.
The whole cabin's empty.
Hey.
Hey.
Do you think she
could have hiked out?
You think she could
have hiked out?
Darryl.
Darryl!
You think she could
have hiked out, man?
Now could she
fucking hike out?
My gun's lying on
the ground out here.
Robyn!
SEAN: Oh, fuck.
Robyn!
SEAN: What do we do?
Hey, what do we do?
What do we do?
We stay?
We-- we hike out?
What do we do?
Do it your fucking self.
SEAN: Come on, man.
Hey.
Hey!
DARRYL: Huh?
Robyn!
SEAN: Darryl!
Where do you think
she went, man?
Where is she?
What are you doing?
What's the plan, man?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
SEAN: Hey.
Hey.
DARRYL: Get ready to fucking--
SEAN: Hey.
We gotta figure out
a fucking plan, man.
DARRYL: I'm not going
fucking through with it.
SEAN: What are we going to do?
DARRYL: Fucking plan.
[GUN COCKING]
Quit fucking filming me.
God damn it.
Listen.
We're going to fucking die.
We're going to fucking die
if we don't kill it first.
Why?
We gotta get to it first.
SEAN: Darryl.
Hold on.
Wait.
[SCREAM]
SEAN: Wait!
Darryl!
DARRYL: Die, mother fucker.
SEAN: Darryl, wait!
DARRYL: You want
to know my plan?
SEAN: What are you doing?
[GUNFIRE]
SEAN: God damn it.
Fuck!
DARRYL: Come on, mother fucker.
SEAN: Fuck.
Fuck.
[GUNFIRE]
SEAN: Hey, Darryl.
Wait, man!
DARRYL: You want a piece of me?
You want a piece of me?
SEAN: Darryl!
[GROWLING]
SEAN: Shit.
Shit.
[GUNFIRE]
SEAN: Fuck.
DARRYL: Come on, mother fucker.
SEAN: Fuck!
DARRYL: I'm ready.
I'm ready!
SEAN: God damn it!
[SCREAMING]
SEAN: Don't run!
Darryl!
God damn.
[HEAVY BREATHING] Darryl.
Darryl.
What is it?
What is it, man?
What did you see?
[GUN COCKING]
SEAN: Darryl.
Darryl.
[GUNFIRE]
SEAN: (DESPERATELY) No!
No!
Fuck!
Oh, fuck!
[SOBBING] Darryl.
Darryl.
[HEAVY BREATHING] Oh, God.
Darryl.
Darryl.
Oh, God.
Darryl.
Oh, fuck.
Darryl!
Darryl!
Oh.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey!
God damn it!
Ugh.
Ugh.
[CLATTER]
Oh, no man.
Darryl.
Darryl, I'm sorry, man.
[CRASH]
[WIND]
[ETHEREAL SOUNDS]
Something's in the bedroom.
[GROWLING]
These noises.
These noises.
A few moments ago, accompanied
by these strings of light.
Oh, what is that noise?
Who the hell are you?
People are gonna know.
[WOO]
People need to know.
[GUTTURAL SOUNDS]
This is Sean
Reynolds reporting
from the Drybeck cabin.
Our investigation into
the existence of Bigfoot
has yielded no
hardcore evidence.
Nonetheless, we've
paid a terrible price.
My team-- Robyn
Conway is missing.
Darryl Coleman.
Carl Drybeck is dead, by
who or what, I have no idea.
And now these lights--
[GROWLING]
--these lights, accompanied
by sounds coming from them,
and the clearing in the trees.
The round, the clearing,
and I see something moving.
I see something.
It's coming this way.
It's tall.
It's-- it's 8 feet, maybe more.
It's moving.
It's moving this way.
It's-- Robyn, I hope
to see you again.
To my friends and my family--
[ROAR]
--I'm sorry for what I've done.
I'm sorry for what I have to do.
[GUN COCKING]
Oh, my God.
It's not a Bigfoot.
It's not a Bigfoot!
[SCREAMING]
[ELECTRICAL BUZZING]
[ETHEREAL SOUNDS]
[POUNDING]