- Hello.
- Evening.
- Do some walking. - Walking?
- Yes. - Gosh!
I'm not very much good at walking.
It gets warm and cold afterwards.
- Well! - Well! - See you tomorrow.
- Yes. Bye-bye. - Bye-bye.
- Would you like a Malteser, Sylvia?
- I won't, thank you. - Sure?
How's Hilda today?
Super.
Have you seen what film they've
got on this week?
Can you do, er... two million
copies of that?
Two million?
Yeah.
I'll have to do several stencils.
No, just one. One top and two bottoms.
Like a beauty queen at a freak show.
Yes.
Right.
Two-fifty-nine and a half.
Two-sixty... seventy... eighty...
ninety... three pound.
- Right. - Thank you. - Thanking you
very much. Thank you.
Good evening, ma'am.
- There we are, sir. Thank you.
- Seeing you. - Bye-bye now. - Bye-bye.
Now...
Fifty-nine please.
Sixty? Thank you.
Fifty-nine.
And one is sixty, thank you.
There we are, dear.
Enjoy yourself.
- Hello. I thought I heard running feet.
- Yes, I'm a bit late this morning.
I was... wondering if, er...
if the weather stays nice-if, er...
your sister might like to go for a
walk on Sunday?
If you like.
I thought we could...
either take the Green Line out to
the country, or...
just maybe go to the park.
You should like Peter. He's a teacher.
Come in.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Had a good lunch?
Yes, thank you.
Where's Hilda?
Upstairs.
Good.
A little present.
Pontefract cakes.
I'll put them on the arm.
Maybe she'd like them later.
I'm really very sorry we didn't...
go for a walk.
The three of us.
How old is Hilda?
Twenty-nine.
- Did you have a good weekend?
- Yes, thank you.
I went to the-I went to the
cinema on Saturday...
on my own... and uhm, on Sunday
I went to a meeting again.
It was in the room downstairs this
time; it wasn't in the large room.
There weren't so many people this week.
I'm ready to become a member now.
I spoke to the lady and she thought
it would be a good thing.
- The meetings don't cost so much,
you see. - Jolly good.
And you can also go to the group
sessions.
I'd like to go to one of those sometime.
Very good medium: she came from Belfast!
She was... funny... she sort of...
When the people... wanted to
contact the people...
when the spirits wanted to contact
someone in the audience...
she got involved with it, and she was...
she spoke to them-you know they speak-
and she'd say to them, "Be quiet!"
She made us all laugh.
Would you like a Malteser?
Actually, I won't have one... just now.
- Sure?
- Yes, thank you.
Hello.
We've come like to put the stuff in
the garage like.
- Oh. Do you want the key?
- Aye, yeah.
- Ta.
- There you are.
Norman's told you, has he?
What we're using the garage for?
- I mean, you know it's not for a car?
- Yes!
We'll be sort of duplicating and printing,
and Norman will be around for most of the day.
- That's okay, is it?
- Yes.
The other thing-now I remember-is
the money.
When would you like it?
I haven't really thought about it.
Well I'll give you, and...
Norman will give it to you later on,
if that's okay?
- Fine.
- Okay.
Can you get your duplicator, Norman?
Does your daddy wear glasses?
- Alan?
- Yeah?
- Does your daddy wear glasses?
- Yeah.
No, they don't go there. That's the
ones that's been done.
What's they like?
Round?
They're black.
You know what you've done?
- All done, Alan? - Yes, thanks.
- How many have you done?
- I've forgotten.
- You'll forget your cat next.
Pack up now.
Hilda, will you get the brush?
Pack up now, dearie.
Now, how many have you done?
Fifteen, have you?
Now then. Nevermind, let's pack up.
- Is it time to go home yet?
- Yes, it's quarter to four.
- Do you have sunglasses, Alan?
- Yeah.
- You don't wear them.
- No.
- Don't be late in the morning,
will you? - No.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
We nearly missed the bus
yesterday, Linda.
Freight train, freight train,
going so fast.
I don't know what train I'm on.
Won't you tell me where he's gone?
When I die please bury me deep...
Down at the end of Baker Street.
Then I can see old Number Nine...
As she goes rolling by.
This fighter could attain a speed
of 410 mph.
Cocaine's for horses and it
ain't for men.
I know it'll get me but they
don't say when.
Cocaine...
It's all around my brain.
Keep still: come on, keep still!
Hey, baby, won't you please come quick?
This old cocaine is makin' me sick.
Cocaine...
It's all around my brain.
Cocaine's for horses and it
ain't for men.
I know it'll get me but they
don't say when.
Cocaine...
It's all around my brain.
Yonder come a policeman,
dressed in blue.
Don't worry, baby, pushin' ain't cool.
Cocaine...
It's all around my brain.
Yonder come my baby, dressed in white.
Hey, baby, won't you stay all night?
Cocaine...
It's all around my brain.
Hey, baby, take a whiff, it's free.
- Hello.
- Hello.
I heard you playing.
I wondered if-if you would er... like
to come in and have a cup of coffee?
Aye, please!
Right!
I'll put the light out.
Sit down.
Would you like something to eat with it?
No, it's alright, thanks.
I've got... five nuts here.
Four nuts... now. Would you like
four nuts?
Biscuits?
Well, I'll put them through.
- Do you take sugar?
- Aye, yeah: two please.
Down to three.
- Two.
- Ta.
- I've left you the biggest one there.
- Oh, ta.
Thanks.
- Do you smoke?
- Please.
Ta.
Ta.
- I've got ink on my hands.
- They're a bit grubby, aren't they?
I'm the duplicator.
Who's actually doing the writing for
this magazine?
Well...
The idea like, you know, is that...
anyone can write for it, you know,
but... for this one like...
well... Malc, he's-
he's editing it like, and erm...
other people in the house are, you
know, writing other stuff, but, er...
well, for the next one like...
anyone can write what they want.
- What about you?
- No... I'm just duplicating like.
Talcum powder.
I've just been bathing my sister.
Would you...
Would you like to earn your living by
playing your guitar and singing?
I don't know.
Last job I had like were...
were in this toy factory.
But it weren't much good.
We had-we had like to put-put all
this doll's house furniture in boxes.
It were a bit of a waste of time like.
- I jacked it in. - Where was that?
- That were in, er, in Doncaster.
Thing is that...
it's easy enough like, you know, to...
well to-to know what it is
you don't want to do.
I mean, you know, if you've-
if you've got a job like, and...
well it's-it's no good...
you know it's-you know when it's
no good, so you...
you know, you know you don't do it,
but... it's-well it's not...
you know-it's not so easy to know what
it is you-you really do want to do.
What-what do you do like?
I'm the president of Venezuela.
Well, what does your husband do, then?
I'm not married, actually.
You know before... when I said like...
I come from Doncaster.
Well, I don't really...
I come from Scunthorpe like.
Only like when-when people say,
"Where d'you come from?" and...
and you say "Scunthorpe"...
they laugh like.
So I always say I come
from Doncaster instead.
I'm not actually the president of
Venezuela.
I gave it up to be a secretary.
For my sins.
What-what would you like to do?
You know, if you could do what you
wanted like?
I don't know.
I don't know at all... really.
Sometimes I have a little sort of
fantasy about... writing...
but...
I don't know.
Do you have, uhm...
far to go when you finish?
Well, no, I'm erm... living in
Brixton like, you know, in...
people who do the magazine, you know...
it's like a commune like, you know...
I'm living there.
If you finish late one evening...
we've got a spare room.
It's not very far like: I can-I can
walk it.
Yes, of course.
Well, I'll have to be like, uhm...
getting back to the duplicator like.
Yes, of course.
Well, thanks for the-
for the coffee like, you know.
It's alright.
Peace.
- Cheerio.
- Cheerio.
Sylvia...
Yes?
What time would you like me
to come round tomorrow?
About five o'clock.
Hilda will be pleased.
What's his name?
Peter.
- Hello.
- Hello.
My sister wanted to come and...
see you play the guitar.
- She's being silly. Would you...
come in? - Aye, alright.
Come on.
This is Hilda.
She's a bit dopey, aren't you?
Here's the music.
- Would you like some tea?
- Aye, please.
Right!
Aye up!
Candy man...
He's been and gone.
Candy man, he makes me high...
And I wish I was down in New Orleans...
Sittin' on a Candy man stand.
Run and fetch a pitcher,
get the baby some beer...
And I wish I was down in New Orleans...
Sittin' on a Candy man stand.
You've got a fan.
Slowly light the evening candle...
Softly smile the evening smile.
All the things that you can't handle...
Disappearing soon, forgotten
for a while.
Pulling faces in the looking-glass...
There's no-one there to see.
You should have seen us
on the skyline...
When we both were free.
Softly, softly falling down...
Hello, Hilda!
What a shame!
I'm sorry.
Hello, Sylvia.
Hello, Pat.
Is this your young man?
No!
This is Norman. Norman's renting
the garage.
- I'm very pleased to meet you.
- Hello.
I'll just go and take off my coat.
Shall I, er, like split, you know?
No.
Please!
That's a lovely cup of tea, Sylvia.
All along another afternoon...
He's very good, isn't he?
Evening shadows falling soon...
No one left for you to guide...
Running down the stream.
- Chase a man through the undergrowth.
- Here they are! Hild!
- I thought I couldn't find them.
- Looking for a place to hide...
- Present.
- Maybe you should come inside...
Shelter for a dream...
Running down the stream.
- Sylvia!
- Took a walk down by the Universe...
- Sylvia!
- Everyone was lookin'...
Eileen's birthday card!
Eileen's birthday card.
Thank you.
She likes animals.
Don't stop because of me!
I was enjoying it!
Why don't you play something
we can all join in?
Something happy.
It won't stretch.
Hilda!
It's alright.
Sylvia, she could easily break it.
It's very delicate.
I was getting an E.
- Pardon?
- No, on that one-there! Right.
Is that it?
Excuse me.
Pat... this is Peter.
- Very pleased to meet you.
- How do you do?
And uhm... this is Norman.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Norman's renting the garage.
- Ah, yes.
Hilda...
Say hello.
Hello, Hilda.
Hilda...
Say hello!
Hello, Hilda. How are we?
Shall we have a brew-up?
Right!
I shouldn't really...
Oh dear.
Thank you very much for the tea, Sylvia.
Hilda and I will be back at ten.
- Right?
- Right.
Bye-bye. Have a nice time.
Say bye-bye Hilda.
Say have a nice time.
Bye.
Do you, er... read much?
I read, you know-aye, I suppose so.
What kind of thing do you like?
I'll read ought, you know.
- Anything that comes along?
- Aye, yeah.
- Where did you go to school?
- I went to the Grammar school like.
- How did you get on there?
- I were gonna take my A-Levels.
- But you didn't?
- No.
I see. Why not?
They threw me out.
Do you read the things that you
mimeograph in the garage?
Aye, yeah.
What are they like?
Well, you know, I've only like-
well we...
I mean, you know, we've only just like
started so I haven't read much.
- What's it called, this magazine?
- It's Open Family.
Cheers.
I come to go to this folk club.
I mean, I hitched down like.
- And you didn't go back.
- No, I didn't.
What made you stay?
I ran into this bird like, you know...
How long ago was that?
It were uhm... week before last like.
- I'm like... going back out.
- Yes.
- Cheerio.
- Nice to have met you.
Thanks for the tea and that.
It's alright.
Sorry about the other.
- Cheerio.
- Cheerio.
See you.
Are you ready to go?
Yes.
I thought we might, er... drop in for a
drink somewhere before dinner.
If you like.
Yes, that would be lovely.
I'm looking forward to this evening.
So am I.
You alright, love?
What you got there then, eh?
Got a sweetie, have you?
What you got then? Minty?
You like minties don't you?
They're your favourite ones aren't they?
I like minties.
I don't like Maltesers though.
A fella used to come into the shop...
always used to bring me minties on a
Saturday he did.
He was a widower you see.
Hilda! Are you alright?
Of course she's alright!
We're having a nice little chat.
He come to tea once he did.
Got a ginger cake I did, coz I knew he
liked 'em you see, coz he told me that.
Pat didn't half play up.
First of all she wouldn't speak to him.
Face white, lips tight.
I'll be in in a minute.
She don't half-she don't half get on
my wick she don't.
For two?
Yes, please.
Coat.
Thank you.
What would you like?
Vegetable curry.
- Would you like... rice?
- Yes.
- Boiled rice?
- Boiled.
Right.
That's uhm... a vegetably curry...
and boiled rice.
- Would you like, er... to share-?
- Come back!
In a minute we'll have a nice
cup of tea.
You'd like that, wouldn't you, Hilda?
- Here, what's going on?
- I've put them in the box over there.
I don't want 'em in the box over there. I want
'em there where I can get 'em if I want 'em.
Mum, you can't have them there when
Hilda comes round to tea.
Hilda don't mind, do you, love?
Mum!
- You can't have them on show.
They're not an ornament. - Why not?
You have yours on show, don't you?
One vegetable curry...
Nine.
Number nine.
Ah, yes.
And boiled rice.
Fifty-four.
- Yes.
- Two?
No. For one.
One sweet and sour pork...
with fried rice.
One chop suey...
Four! Number four!
Yes. For two.
And plain noodles...
number thirteen.
For two.
Excuse me.
This not enough for two people.
It's one-one-one-one-one!
No, there's...
You'd just like a vegetable curry?
Boo!
Hilda...
- Alright? - What have you been doing
since you was here then, Hilda?
- What you been up to, love?
- I thought I told you not to
leave those teeth out here again.
Eh, don't you move my teeth!
- We're having tea!
- You leave 'em there!
Don't put 'em on the dressing table,
I can't get 'em, can I?
You've never done this before.
You must be going mad!
- You leave my teeth alone! - You don't
even listen to what I'm saying.
- You leave my teeth alone, do you
hear me? - Stop shouting!
- Stop shouting, what will the
neighbours think?
Hilda...
Fried noodles.
Give us some peaches and cream will you?
Do you... have any close friends?
In London?
Yes.
No.
No, not really in London.
Most of my friends are scattered all
over the country now.
For example, there's...
a fellow I knew quite well in Cambridge
who's working in Leicester now.
What's he like?
Oh, he's... materialistic.
Sorry, it's a strange way to
describe a friend.
Have you got any schoolfriends?
I didn't go to school in England.
Well, where did you go to school?
Scotland.
Did you know that uhm...
the Haggis in Scotland...
tend to...
run about on the highlands as
opposed to the plains?
And that they developed two little...
short legs on one side?
Did, er... Hilda...
go to school in Scotland... as well?
No.
No, uhm...
she stayed at home.
You're waiting for your slave to bring
you your tea, are you?
I'm waiting for you to bring me
my tea, coz you-
Yes, well, I'm just about getting
fed up with it.
I'm just about getting fed up with bringing your
tea all the time and doing everything for you.
I just don't know what you expect
from me. You never give me-
You can make me a cup of tea, can't you?
- I made you a cup of tea, didn't I?
Why don't you get up and make it
yourself for once?
- You heartless-! - Get up out of that
bed and make it yourself for once!
Here, don't take her out of here!
You come here! Bring Hilda back
in here! Bring her back in here!
Bring Hilda back in here, Pat!
Pat!
Please come back.
Oh, please.
I'm sorry, shall I take you home or
something?
I'm sorry, Hilda.
Shall I take you home?
Hilda?
You old witch!
Coffee?
No.
I don't think so.
- Would you like some?
- No, I'm fine thanks.
Right?
Right.
Shall I tell you?
I might be getting married next year.
About January.
I wonder when Sylvia will get married.
I wonder when we'll get married.
Cheer up. This littly piggy.
Shall we do this little piggy?
This little piggy went to market, and...
he went wee-wee-wee...
all the way home.
Hilda, be careful! No, be careful!
Now lie down.
Now lie down.
Alright?
Alright?
Good girl.
They've come back together.
"He's not as timid as a mouse,"
said his wife.
Just go through. I won't be a minute.
"He just doesn't like the thunder.
He never did. "
"He can sleep with us in our
room tonight. "
- Hello.
- Hello, Sylvia.
- Did you have a nice time?
- Yes, lovely.
Did you have a nice time?
Yes, thank you.
I'm just going to make some coffee for
Peter and I. Would you like some?
No, thank you. We've had our cocoa.
Right.
Come on now, let's tuck you up and
then let's say goodnight.
There we are. Warm?
Alright?
Smile?
Kiss?
See you next saturday, alright?
Perhaps we'll go to the pictures.
It's only me!
Hello.
Where's Sylvia?
She's upstairs.
I've come for my bag.
It's just by the chair.
Ah, yes.
I like Chinese food.
Yes, it's er...
Yes.
I'll just get my bag.
Do you walk?
Pardon?
Do you... walk? Home.
Oh, no, thank you. It's not far.
Good.
Sylvia.
Well, two's company.
Three's a crowd.
Goodye, Sylvia.
Bye.
Don't bother to see me out.
I'll see you on Monday.
Funny woman.
I'll see her out.
Not much fun in the restaurant, was it?
Sorry.
It's alright.
It's just that I get very angry with...
waiters who...
well, don't do their job.
Shall we sit down?
Yes.
Good coffee.
Oh, Hilda.
Hilda, Hilda, Hilda, Hilda.
Would you like some sherry?
No, I'm...
fine with coffee, thank you.
I'm going to have some.
So you'll have to join me.
Here we are.
Enjoy yourself.
- Cheerio!
- Cheers!
Do you, er... listen to the radio much?
I do.
Quite a lot.
Which do you find easier-watching
television... or radio?
I find it easier... watching the radio.
Words, words, words!
Let me... rephrase my question.
Which activity...
do you find...
more satisfying? Watching...
the television, which...
involves audio and visual signals...
or...
listening to the radio, which is
merely audio signals?
The latter one perhaps involves a little more
activity, and consequently is a more satisfying...
form of communication.
- You've... read McLuhan?
- Yes, actually, I...
I never actually got to the end of
it, though.
Yes, they're... difficult concepts.
Drawing a distinction between...
the content of a communication, and...
the particular medium employed.
And understanding the...
relationship between them, and...
how they interact to produce the...
well, the end product meaning.
And how, very frequently, the medium
is the more important...
in transference of information.
For example, uhm...
this evening I... said to Hilda:
"How are we?"
We. How are we.
Which-well, she didn't understand.
One has to learn... a language
for... communication.
It's like learning any foreign language.
Yes.
Do you speak any languages?
I speak a little French.
You're not drinking your sherry.
No, I'm just finishing off my coffee.
I never know quite what to say to her.
Just say whatever you want to say.
Yes, but it's, er...
not just a question of...
what to say, but in what
terms to couch it.
In the-well, the usual
conversational gambits...
don't seem to be... any use.
I don't think...
conversational gambits...
are ever of much use.
They seem to me...
to be an evasion... of what's going on.
It depends how you define
conversational gambit.
It's just a... mechanical tool.
I'm having more sherry.
- Will you have some more?
- No, no, I'm fine with this, thank you.
Too late.
What are you going to do?
Hold it... very steadily.
I was, er...
noticing the...
design on the... couch.
It's very... unusual.
I was thinking that...
design's a kind of language.
A language in the sense that somebody...
makes it in a certain way.
Lampshades or...
tables.
Furniture.
Houses.
Cars.
Ships, aeroplanes.
Pottery.
Plates and cutlery.
Jewellery.
Clothes, shoes.
Carpets.
Glasses.
Bulldozers? No.
- You're not having anymore.
- No, I'm fine with that, thank you.
Are you sure?
Yes. Oh, yes, yes. Really, thank you.
Yes, that was fine.
Yes.
I'm having some more.
Would you like some nuts?
No. No, thank you.
I haven't got any nuts... anyway.
What's the matter?
I was-I was just saying something
to you in my head.
It was quite amusing.
What?
I was saying to you...
"Take your trousers off!"
It was a sort of uhm... joke.
Actually it wasn't a joke.
It wasn't a joke... really.
I mean...
I can sense that...
if we could...
ever get around to...
touching one another,
it wouldn't be a bad thing.
I'm er... sorry I, er...
didn't know... what to... say.
I really... didn't know... what to say.
Would you like a cup of
coffee or something?
Yes.
Yes, that would be very nice.
Right.
Would you... mind if I...
changed my mind about... the coffee?
I...
- think I should be... getting along.
- Fine.
I'll er... just... get my coat.
Are you alright?
Yes.
Fine, thank you.
Sorry about the coffee.
That's alright.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Mama don't allow no marijuana here.
We don't care what Mama don't allow,
gonna smoke marijuana anyhow.
- Hello.
- Hello.
I wondered if you'd like to
come in for a binge?
Well, I were just off to the West End.
I'm-I'm going to Cousins.
I didn't know you had
relatives in London.
No, uhm, Les Cousins. The folk club.
to get a bus.
- Have a nice time!
- Aye.
- See ya. - See you.
- Cheerio. - Bye.
God, all these cars piled up.
I wonder what all the people
do for a living.
In the cars.
Peter, do you like Peanuts?
The humour project. Next term,
for the thirds.
I've decided, that the... just to confine it
to literature is somewhat irrelevant.
Really, they should understand why...
they laugh.
Like Tom and Jerry. What are
the elements...
in the humour that they see
on Television... and films, and...
graphic humour, cartoons.
Who's your favourite cartoonist?
Jokes, of course.
Collate them, categorise them.
So that they begin to understand that
really there are only about 4 or 5...
classifiable sorts of joke: there's, you
know, the shaggy dog, the pun, and so on.
Good jokes and bad jokes. Why are jokes
good, why are jokes bad sometimes?
- What do you think about all that?
- Well, the thirds...
I don't think they've got much
sense of humour at that age.
I think you underestimate them.
Right, coffee's over.
Back-back to the summit.
Okay?
Perhaps if you-if you read this book,
you'd be able to understand.
- You don't realise that there are a lot
of people. - Jesus Christ!
Jesus Christ?
There, you see: that's-that's proof
that you don't understand.
Because well-Jesus was a faith-healer.
Didn't you know that, Sylvia?
You've got to let me take her!
Please-please, please, Sylvia!
I don't want Hilda to go.
Well, I want to take her.
- Well, I'm sorry, you can't.
- Yes, I can, if I want to take her...
and once I've made up my mind
about something...
I'm going to do it. And I will take her.
I shall go and take her from the
Centre one day.
- You can't do that. Don't be silly.
- Yes I can, if I want to.
How would you like it, if you were in
the same position as her?
And somebody said that you couldn't go?
How would you like it?
- Can't answer that, can you?
- Pat, I don't want her to go.
It's only because you don't understand
about it, Sylvia.
Look, I'm sorry, Pat, but she's-
she's just not going. Okay?
What more perversion could a
man desire...
than to beat his wife with a
rubber tire?
Just lay me down in my native peat...
with a jug of punch at my head and feet.
A birdie sang on an ivy bunch...
and the song he sang was a jug of punch.
Do you like that, then?
How are you?
Fine.
How are you?
Alright, I suppose.
How are the mornings?
Ah, fine.
It's just like Romeo and Juliet all over
again, isn't it, Hilda?
Well...
- I'd better go.
- Yes.
- I'll see you again.
- Yes.
Hilda...
I'll have to like... give you the key.
- Why?
- We're like moving out like.
- You didn't tell me.
- I didn't like know till Thursday.
I'm afraid one of our star turns has
dropped out, so...
we have to lay old Norman off for a bit.
Go on!
Look out, I'll run your feet over!
Two old ladies locked in the lavatory...
They've been there from Monday
to Saturday.
Come and lean on my piano.
We must buy you a new cardigan...
sometime.
Come on, come and tell me all about it.
Isn't she sweet?
I really came round to-
to get out of the house.
How's your mum?
She's not really getting any better.
And all this week she's really been
much worse.
I don't really think we should talk
about it.
Can't you help me?
I'm sorry, Sylvia, I didn't mean-
mean to get in such a state.
I'd better be going.
Thank you very much for the coffee.
I don't suppose Hilda would like to
come to the pictures, would she?
Oh, yes.
Yes, that would be a very good idea.
Actually.
Thank you.
It's a shame you won't be coming
with us, Sylvia.
Have a nice time.