Once in a while,
although not very often, -
- you find a place where
the menu is irrelevant.
Where you don't come merely to eat,
but just to be there.
Just to sit in a quiet corner
watching the staff radiating...
...a rare sense of satisfaction.
And to watch them work.
And suddenly you realise
that here, and only here, -
- is where they've always belonged.
Grown people, and they are fucking late?
He's from Poland.
- So what? He should be here now!
Don't be too hard on the guy.
Why are you so late?
What's he saying, Peter?
- It sounded like "diarrhea."
Yeah, goulash gives drivers diarrhea.
So of course he is late.
I've had diarrhea since I was 16.
Cigarettos?
What the fuck's this?
The wrong brand! Now what?
What the hell do we do
with 34,000 cartons of "Look"?
Nobody smokes that menthol shit.
Cigarettos...
- Arne, cool it!
Peter, tell him!
- Take it easy, man...
Torkild!
- Cigarettos!
Maybe we can trade them,
or something.
He might not even notice.
It's Torkild.
Get me the Eskimo.
I know you'll never read it.
- I'll read it.
MEN ARE FROM MARS,
WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS
I gave it to you before,
but you threw it out.
I'll... I'll read it.
Thanks.
Let's go back to your place.
- I've met someone.
What?
- It's over.
Look, when I've paid back the Eskimo...
- You've said that for five years.
That's not true!
I was just thinking about
starting my own business.
Maybe a pet store.
- You couldn't feed a fish.
I can learn. I could do anything.
No, you can't.
You're 40 years old.
Who is he?
- He works at the paper.
What's his name?
- Don't you touch him.
You're crazy about him?
- I guess so.
You're going to have kids and stuff?
- Maybe.
That's what regular people do. Have
kids, take them to Disneyland.
Six Flags is better.
Not so many Canucks.
Don't you care?
Good luck.
- Yeah. You, too.
A rifle...
- A rifle? This bad boy is an AK-47!
You know it can penetrate iron?
Iron?
This baby can blow away suburbs.
Give it to me, I'll show you.
What took you so long?
- My mom called.
We're opening the presents...
- What did you give him?
You remember that guy that shot
at the White House?
A psychopath let off 20 shots at it.
- Never heard about it.
Fuck that, he used an AK-47.
- Hanne chipped in, too.
No it isn't, Stefan!
It's very nice. What is it, a splat gun?
- What did she say?
A splat gun... It looks real.
- Of course it's not real.
Uhh... So you're Hanne?
Stefan talks about you all the time.
We have met before?
- You remember Hanne.
I was just...
Yeah, yeah. Sure.
Don't worry, I always forget her, too.
You like it, or what?
Sure I do, it's...
I just need to...
Goddamn, Peter.
- You want some?
I could have shot you.
- No harm done.
Celebrating without me?
Why the hell didn't we invite the Eskimo?
You got your period, or what?
No, I was just coming...
Happy birthday.
Thanks.
You got my money?
- No.
Now you're mine, Torkild.
Yeah...
You'll pick up a suitcase for me tonight.
- Okay, where?
It's in a Greek diplomat's house.
In his moneybox.
His...?
- His safe.
Exactly. William will fill you in.
Don't open the suitcase.
Can't I do one big job?
So I can pay you off once and for all?
I'll do anything, just something new.
I almost shot Peter...
You're mine, Torkild.
Get the suitcase, capiche?
Sure...
Shut up Arne, goddamit!
Wow, what a mirror!
Great craftsmanship.
Concentrate!
- We could take it with us...
We're not dragging that around, bozo.
I've always wanted one of these.
You know what these things cost?
Well bring it along.
Look at this! Beautiful!
Where's Stefan?
What's that?
Stuffed peppers. You want some?
- That's disgusting.
There's some cold tzatziki, too.
You mind giving a hand?
- Take it easy.
Holy shit...
That's a lot of dough, Torkild.
Torkild, he shot me.
Torkild, help me!
Come on, out in the car.
How come people have to keep
on talking when they're dying?
I'll smack you if you don't shut up.
- I have to keep awake, I'm bleeding!
It's a flesh wound!
I bleed more when I jerk off.
You're bleeding on the money,
you pig!
Don't bleed on the money, Peter!
- I'm cold, okay?
That's because you've been shot.
Crybaby.
What do we do now?
Where are we going?
Torkild?
I want out.
- What?
I want out.
Torkild, help us out here.
- What do you want out of?
I'm 40. I can't even have a birthday
party without shooting someone.
I get an AK-44 for a present.
- 47.
I should get a golf bag.
I should have a house in the country.
The country?
- We can go there if you want.
No! I don't want to go to the country.
- Then what do you want?
How much cash do you think there is?
- Three or four million?
But the Eskimo would kill us.
I'll never have that much again.
- That's right! Let's go!
Barcelona?
Where Coke Henry got the clap?
Fine, let's go there.
As long as we keep a low profile.
- What's going on?
For how long?
- Until I know what I want.
We can't.
I can't.
Hanne's making brunch.
You'll get 100,000 each if you come.
I need medical care, now!
- It went straight through you.
You'll be fine in a couple of days.
Let's try out Torkild's idea.
I should have left a note for Hanne.
- Shut up, Stefan.
She'd never have let you leave.
Women don't know
how to say goodbye.
They don't like endings. That's why
they watch "Days Of Our Lives."
They never end.
I saw all of "Rich Man, Poor Man."
- That's only four episodes.
No, there were at least six.
- In "Rich Man, Poor Man"?
Yeah, the one with Falconetti?
- There's only six episodes.
There are eight. I watched them.
You guys seen it?
- I should have left a note.
I taped it. I never saw it.
- Weren't there 24?
I don't remember.
- I'm positive.
No, we're definitely here.
Arne, concentrate, will you?
There's a hell of a lot of trees.
- Can't we take a real road?
Yeah, this one. The border's here.
- Yeah. Take a right next time.
I don't fucking believe this!
Where are your brains, Arne?
I said a getaway car!
And you find this...
- Fucking spasmobile.
Fucking spasmobile!
- You wanted something low-key.
And what do you call this?
No thanks! Get your shit
and let's get out of here.
Why are we stopping here?
- We can spend the night here.
It must be an old inn or something.
- Or a stable!
This is really the sticks.
- It's disgusting. Birdshit everywhere.
It's okay for a night.
- Exactly.
What did I tell you, Torkild?
lt'll bear fruit this year.
Now you see
why we bought this place.
There's only three.
- So what?
Some have lots,
and some have few.
And ours has three.
- Mine.
It's my apple tree!
They're my apples.
Can't we get a bigger place soon?
- Are you nuts? We can't move now.
And why should we?
- I want my own room.
Stop it, Torkild!
Did you eat one of Dad's apples?
You know what they mean to him.
For 18 years he's been going on
about that tree.
I want my own room.
- Shut up!
Dad's tree is bearing fruit.
We've waited so long, understand?
Promise me
you'll leave the last two alone.
Then can I get my own room?
- Just promise me that.
I promise
I'll leave the last two alone.
Paul!
What's that?
- An apple.
It was an apple.
How could you do this to us?
Why, Torkild?
Don't you care about your family?
Torkild, can't you understand there
are things you don't do to people?
Everyone needs something
that's just theirs.
So promise me
you'll let the last apple be.
Come here, you! What the hell are
you trying to do? Are you crazy?
Your father can't stop crying.
You go apologize to him right now!
Paul...
Torkild!
Peter's sick.
You'd better come.
Come on, get up.
- Leave me alone.
Stop it, Arne!
- Arne, put him down.
Torkild, I don't feel so good.
Can you move?
- Think I'd be lying here if I could?
I need water, and a doctor.
- And a cheeseburger?
Check if there's a doctor outside.
- Get some water.
We have to get going.
- Shut up and get some water!
I feel weird, weird...
Is it bad?
It doesn't look too good.
- Torkild!
Someone's coming.
Who's that clown?
- Who is it?
It's empty, you jerk.
- Who the fuck is it?
It's a... hunter.
- Stay here.
I once fired one of those.
Howdy!
- How... dy.
I hope you got it cheap?
- Cheap?
That pile of shit's been empty
for 20 years.
We were scared they'd make
it into a refugee camp.
We can't have a flock of boat people
running around here.
No, of course not.
- You're not from the Red Cross?
No, no. Don't worry.
We just bought the place.
You guys opening a restaurant?
- Yeah, that's right.
Not a pizza joint, I hope?
- No, just a... nice family restaurant.
We used to eat here, my dad and I.
We liked it.
- Yeah... it's a nice place.
We really liked it.
Well, you'd better
put those boys to work.
Those two look like lazy bums.
Keep after them!
See you around.
- You know where to find a doctor?
One of them's feeling bad.
- He's just trying to get off work.
No, he's really sick.
We need a doctor.
Carl?
- That's me.
He's inside.
How did this happen?
- It was a hunting accident.
I've seen a few hunting accidents.
But this isn't one of them.
I'll pay you to fix him up.
- No, no, I can't...
I've got plenty of money...
if this stays between us.
That kind of thing is expensive.
There.
Okay.
He's got to lie still for two weeks.
- Two weeks?
He can't.
He's got to ride with us.
No! Any movement could kill him.
The wound could open.
He has to lie still,
drink plenty of fluids, and eat salt.
We don't have any salt.
- I'll give you a ride into town.
That's your treatment?
- Yup.
You're not going to do anything else?
- Nope.
I'll go with him.
Torkild... that guy's a psycho.
Want me to go along?
No, stay here.
You're losing some of that.
- Thanks.
I don't know who you are,
or why you shot him.
If you want to run a business here,
you have to stop shooting each other.
We don't do that around here.
- No.
What's taking him so long?
It's not like Torkild.
Shut up.
He took all the money?
- Sniff your shit.
I did. It's all gone.
Here he comes.
Howdy.
- "Howdy"?
What's that?
- A van.
You bought a van?
- Yeah. It fits our alibi.
Our what?
- Give me a hand.
What the hell's that?
- What are you doing?
What's all this junk?
- It's not junk, it's culture.
Why should Arne be the only one
of us to see "Rich Man, Poor Man"?
It's a cultural treasure in eight episodes,
and only Arne has seen it.
I've bought eight thousand worth
of culture.
There's Karen Blixen,
and Hans Christian Andersen...
Fuck Hans Christian Andersen!
- No, Arne. We can't.
And there'll be no more
"fuck" or "shit." Say "darn."
We'll be here two weeks,
so we have to fit in.
What about Barcelona?
- You heard Carl.
He was hammered!
He wasn't...
- Shut the fuck up!
You want to take the back road
to Barcelona?
Knock it off, you idiot!
Fuck you.
- No more cursing.
Don't you see?
This a chance for us.
Those rednecks think
we're opening a restaurant.
We just need to do a little work
on it, and they'll leave us alone.
You're my crew.
I'm not your fucking crew.
- It's just until Peter gets well.
Then we go to Barcelona.
Come on, give me a hand.
They're gone.
What do you mean?
- They vanished.
No one's seen them,
and the suitcase is gone.
Fuck me.
What do we do?
- We wait.
They'll make a mistake.
And then we knock.
We strike.
- That, too.
Go. You're disturbing my fish.
When they made cannons
in the old days, -
- the gunsmith had to sit on it
the first time it was fired.
There were so many bad cannons.
They blew up when you fired them.
So the king said the gunsmiths had
to sit on them for the first shot.
Arne, we've had frozen pizzas
for five days now.
Who fixed the oven? Me.
You can fix your own oven.
Just shut the fuck up.
There's all kinds of
vegetable shit in this.
It was a good idea.
- To sit on a cannon?
I mean, being responsible.
- I won't eat this shit anymore!
How many guns have you sold?
- I don't know.
What if one of them
gets you shot one day?
What do you think?
I'd take the guy bowling.
But who's responsible?
- I did 16 months, didn't I?
Who cares if he sold
bazookas to O.J. Simpson?
I need food, I need a bath!
I need some coke!
You can't have any.
- I've got to!
I've got to have something
for my nose, or I'll go crazy.
Torkild! Look at me.
Look at me, Torkild!
You've got to help me.
I can't, Peter.
Arne...
Yeah?
- It's Peter.
Peter who?
- Peter... you know.
Henry, I need a few bags.
- Where are you?
Henry, I need a lot.
- Okay, but where are you?
I don't know...
Newport.
We could meet at the docks.
I need it now.
- You'll get it Wednesday.
Okay, Newport docks.
Damn!
What the hell are you doing, Peter?
You trying to get us all killed?
I warned you, Torkild.
Arne!
I told you!
What's going on?
He stays in there.
- He'll suffocate.
No, he won't.
He was calling Coke Henry.
So why can't I call Hanne?
- I stopped him in time.
Cool it, now.
- Come out, I'll kill you!
He promises not to do it again.
He broke the rules,
he must be punished.
Let's go outside.
- Shut up.
He'll kill us. He can't stand smoke.
- He won't find out shit.
It's actually my granddad's fault.
He caught my dad smoking and put
him in a closet with 50 smokes.
He had to smoke them all.
He's completely crazy.
What did you say?
In you go, Peter.
Okay. You can come out
when you've smoked them all.
No, Peter's busy.
No, I don't know when
he'll have time.
Have you smoked them?
No.
- Then you stay there.
Happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday, dear Peter
happy birthday to you...
Here.
- Thanks.
Happy birthday.
Come and join the guests.
Nice gravy.
Call an ambulance!
Come out, Peter, hurry!
Your father's had a stroke.
Hurry up, now.
- Is he dead?
No, no. But hurry!
Let me out!
- Torkild, he needs methadone.
No! We don't use that around here.
Okay... If they don't use that here,
we'll do things the proper way.
Give him food, water and salt.
And... this.
You sure about that?
- Are you a doctor?
No...
- Then do as I say.
He's plastered, Torkild.
- Arne...
You are! You shouldn't be driving.
It's illegal.
That's a very serious accusation!
That's enough, Arne.
Don't mind him...
We ought to lock him up.
- Barcelona...
Arne!
Let me out, Arne!
I've got to get to Newport.
Let me out!
They're not there.
- I told you so.
They're screwing you around, Dagur.
Let's go...
We stay. We paid to cross the
fucking bridge, so now we stay.
They're fucking with you.
They could be anywhere.
I can feel they're here.
- What can you feel?
Fuck, man!
I always wanted to see the country.
Peter...
I want to get out.
- You will.
Can I? I'll be good.
Can you walk?
- Just let me out. I'll be good.
Peter, what the hell are you doing?
I want to get out.
- You are out, man.
Further out.
- Peter?
How are you feeling?
Torkild, can I get further out?
- Of course.
You don't want to shower first?
- No, I just want to get out.
Hey, where the fuck you going?
- Out.
Can't you slow down a bit?
Fuck, you stink!
Can't you smell it?
You okay, Peter?
Can we leave now?
Torkild! Peter's okay.
Let's get out of here.
Sure, but slow down...
- Don't tell me, tell him.
Peter, for chrissakes!
Wow!
It's beautiful.
You're standing on a condom.
There's a little soup left...
Look at kid brother here!
He ain't grown up yet.
Shit, what an idiot!
He will get sick now.
That water's not cold.
It's fucking cold!
Torkild, you're chicken!
We're going to Barcelona!
Peter?
Peter, we have to go.
- I need some more sleep.
Hey. What the fuck's happened here?
Where's the money, Torkild?
- Aren't we leaving?
I bought the place.
1.7 million. It was a bargain.
All the ground's included.
Why are you doing this?
I don't want to go to Barcelona.
I want a place of my own.
All I want is right here.
The woods, the beach... you guys.
Don't you see?
We'll do it.
Do what, Torkild?
- Open a restaurant.
No, we're going to Barcelona.
We can't even fry an egg!
We can learn.
- One and half million, and no roof?
I'm going to Barcelona, okay?
- Well, I'm staying here.
You'll get paid.
- I want 28,500 a month, like Hanne.
No problem.
- Stop this right now.
Are we going or what?
- No, we're staying.
Okay...
See? Peter wants to stay.
Arne, look!
Hi there...
You got him!
- What the hell are you doing?
You can't just shoot the animals!
It was a squirrel...
I don't give a fuck! You can't
keep doing this. Give me that.
It was a squirrel!
- So what?
No more shooting.
They don't do that here.
What if the Eskimo comes?
- Stop shooting, then he won't.
How about "The Golden Rooster"?
- Nah... sounds like a roadhouse.
I preferred "The Ritz."
- That's too swanky.
We need something catchy.
Stefan?
What is it, Stefan?
- Something wrong?
It's just so... beautiful.
Listen:
In the long night where memory strays
lights from the past flicker on
distant signals from childhood days
to a fearful heart on the run
There's more...
someone who wants to share your nights
and your days will never get far
your life lies behind in the flickering lights
and no-one will know who you are.
Must be something missing.
What's it called again?
"Flickering Lanterns"...
by Mily Dickinson.
The mice have been at
Mily Dickinson's book.
It's all right, nothing's missing.
Mily Dickinson is a famous poet.
It's good that Stefan's reading.
- But what does it mean?
Who cares!
Stefan, are you crying over a poem?
- No.
It's a metaphor.
- What kind of crap is that?
Are we literary critics now?
- Arne, cool it.
And your brain hasn't worked
since you got out of the freezer.
Stefan! Are you crying over a poem?
- No, no...
Jesus, is this a sauna club or what?
Bunch of faggots.
- I'm sorry.
No, I liked that, "Flickering Lanterns."
So did I. It sounds good.
So let's call the place that.
How much does all this cost?
- Don't worry about it.
Stefan, help us.
- There's no handles.
I'd like to know how much is left.
- There's plenty.
Why can't those two help?
- Just leave them alone.
Now we've got a real refrigerator.
- Never mind that.
Beers should be cooled in the ground.
That's just how it is.
It's a question of finding
the right depth.
If it's too shallow,
the frost gets them.
You want a hand?
- No, no. Just wait.
You'll be digging plenty of holes.
It can take years to
find your personal depth.
How do you know
when you've found it?
You can taste it.
One day,
you'll take one out and taste it, -
- and it's as if
the heavens open up for you.
All your sorrows are gone.
You're at peace with yourself.
You're in a state of joy!
Earth-cooled joy.
Howdy!
How's the work going?
A little housewarming present.
My dad shot it,
over on the other side of the lake.
We're busy, Alfred.
- Oh? Sorry...
Then I won't be bothering you.
Very sorry about that...
See you later, Alfred.
Yes. Well...
Say hi to Torkild.
Bye, Alfred.
He's not all there.
Now. Dig your own hole!
You call that a sauce?
- What else?
I could think of many things,
but not "sauce." Start again.
You can't be serious.
- You should care for it like a human being.
It needs constant attention
and massive amounts of love.
This sauce hasn't had that.
It's merely a fetus.
You calling my sauce a fetus?
It's sloppy.
It needs wisdom and care.
Make a new one, and give it what
it deserves. And a lot more wine.
It's only a sauce!
I can't take this much longer, Torkild.
You have to learn.
I'm finished.
Good, Peter.
Now clean up.
While we're waiting for the sauce.
Where did you learn to cook,
anyway?
I was married to a woman
who couldn't cook.
I cooked for my wife and kids
for 17 years.
I think I know how to cook!
- Take it easy.
We can stop now.
- No, it's good to be cooking again.
When you're alone, you don't bother.
How did she die?
- A drunk driver.
A station wagon.
Completely irresponsible.
They went to pick up my mother
at the train station, and... bang!
Henrik, my eldest son,
died on New Year's day.
Did you get the driver?
- He died, too. They all died.
But you still can't teach me
how to make a sauce!
Right, Arne?
- I'm taking my break now!
You're useless, Arne!
Hi...
Is Stefan here?
Hanne...
- Hi.
Are you here?
- It's a great place.
How did you find us?
- What do you mean?
Didn't you tell them I was coming?
- I didn't know.
I told you.
- Stefan, did you call her?
For chrissakes...
I told you not to come.
- Take it easy!
Bet she brought the Eskimo along.
- Your stupid friends can stay away.
Especially now with the baby coming.
Holy shit...
- What about the soup?
Come on, Arne...
- The baby coming?
I couldn't tell you on the phone.
You're going to be a dad.
We're going to be a little family!
Aren't you happy?
- Sure...
You fucking bet.
Those two are going to smash up
the whole place.
I just painted that ceiling!
- Ssh. Watch the film.
Oh, so she bought one too?
Yeah, he gets one, too.
For being kind.
He turns into a faggot later on.
- Don't tell us!
Can you fuck like that
when you're pregnant?
Won't the kid get it
right on the head?
Torkild,
what does a horse like that cost?
That's enough, you two!
Good morning.
We're going for a walk on the beach.
Good idea. We'll come too.
You don't have to come.
- We were going that way anyway.
We'll walk on ahead a bit.
You can catch us up if you want.
I'll kill that little bitch.
Hey, language!
- Shut the fuck up.
Look: We've got customers.
- We're not ready.
- Yes we are.
They're our first customers!
Put on a clean shirt.
But who's going to cook?
- Arne, of course. Get going!
Howdy!
A table for two?
Open the register!
Give us the money or...
I'll hurt you.
Arne, if we keep calm,
it'll be all right.
Relax, it's a robbery.
What's going on here?
Where'd you get that?
Give me that.
Give it here!
Pick them up.
- What?
They're not loaded.
- Don't say that!
Here, take this...
And get the hell out of here.
Jesus, Arne!
Stop it!
Let go of that fucking glass!
Take him and get out, for chrissakes!
You stop this right now, Torkild!
- Arne, take it easy.
Shut the fuck up!
What the hell's going on?
They just ran off with all our change.
Enough of this fucking shit!
That "fuck" will cost you 50.
Fuck you!
I like "Torvald", too.
- So what's wrong with "Torkild"?
It's nearly the same.
- No, it's not!
My granddad's name was Torvald,
not Torkild.
No child of mine is gonna be called...
Someone's going to break a leg
in this.
What is it?
- Arne's gone.
What happened?
- Some mess, huh?
Whose blood is that?
- Just some customers'.
Is Arne all right?
- Yeah.
How was the beach?
- Customers? Are you all crazy?
They're psychos, Stefan.
- Here, give a hand.
What?
Take it easy, nothing happened.
What are you looking at?
Are you deaf or what?
I said, what are you looking at?
You like staring?
You're so fucking ugly.
Big, fat cow.
Shitty cow.
What the hell are you doing?
Are you shooting my cows?
- Sorry, I didn't know it was yours.
You'll pay for that cow!
What did you shoot it with?
- It's a Desert Eagle.
Israeli Army.
Take it.
She's... a heavy mother, ain't she?
Biggest handgun ever made.
It's yours. For the cow.
That's a nice shotgun, too.
- It's a Georg Christensen.
It was my dad's.
Want to take a look?
Can I?
Take a look at this.
Arne, Jesus!
What the hell are you doing?
- We're hunting.
Get lost.
I don't need your shit.
He just needs
to get it out of his system.
I'll send him home afterwards.
Don't worry, Torkild.
A buck, Alfred!
- Be seeing you.
Nice place, this.
- It saves going home.
If I stay here, I'm ready to shoot
ducks when the sun comes up.
The ducks come in the morning?
- Yeah.
But you have to be alert,
because they're fast little mothers.
My dad, he could shoot ducks.
Eight or ten at a time.
He must have been good.
If so much as a snail moved,
we'd blow it away.
But then he went off to Thailand and
brought one of those hookers home.
For 13 years,
we didn't even shoot a pheasant.
She was vegetarian and Buddhist
and all that crap.
So he was sold on all that.
When he died she went back home,
and I went back to the woods.
But like Carl always says,
it's more fun with two.
Yeah, Carl's always right.
- Don't feel sorry for him.
Believe me, I don't.
- You know he's a liar?
How's that?
- All his stupid stories.
His wife left him so fast
his head spun.
They took his kids
because he beat them.
He hit them?
- You bet he did!
Well, I hit them a few times too,
so he wouldn't feel bad.
He should never have had kids.
You have to have a license,
and papers, -
- and all kinds of shit,
just to buy an airgun, -
- but people can have
as many brats as they want.
It should be the other way around!
What about you guys?
You got families?
No.
You're not really cooks,
are you?
No. We're just in hiding.
But I'm fed up with it.
Did you kill someone?
- Yeah, that too.
Always wanted to try that.
But I've never really had a reason,
so I've stuck to animals.
Are you leaving?
- I don't know.
Torkild just has to be set straight.
It's always been like that.
You boys go back a long way, huh?
Yeah.
Arne?
Come here.
Where do you think you're going?
- Just over to Lars.
Lars? That four-eyed kid?
Aren't they in Sweden?
They let him stay home.
- Come here.
No trouble, okay?
- No. We're just studying.
That's right. If you work hard at
school, you can't go wrong.
Off you go.
- Bye, Dad.
Did you get him?
- I think so. Go see.
We'd best be getting back.
You've tried it now.
It's your turn now.
- I don't want to.
Do it!
- I don't want to.
You want more?
- No.
They're only pellets.
Take it easy,
they're just pellets!
Look, it's nothing.
Let's go for a walk.
- Wait a bit, okay?
Why do we have to stay here?
Arne left, why not you?
But he's coming back.
This is so boring. The first
episodes are much better.
Can't we go down to the beach?
- Then do it on your own!
You can't talk to me like that!
- Idiot.
Did you hear what he said to me?
- Oh, shut up.
There he is.
Howdy!
Hi, Arne.
I shot twelve ducks, Torkild.
Alfred says he's never seen anything like it.
Twelve in one shot!
- That's great, Arne.
Where's your bag?
- I gave it to Alfred.
And he gave you the shotgun?
- Yeah. We swapped.
Well, what the hell.
I suppose one shotgun's okay.
Lots of folks have them. But
don't let the customers see it, okay?
There aren't going to be
any customers, Torkild.
You can't just open a restaurant
in the middle of the woods.
Want to see a fox?
Hi, Arne.
Torkild...?
It's just that Hanne...
- We'll all take a walk now.
We're all here, so we can
go down to the beach. Together.
Let's go...
I'll give you the rest of the money
if you drown her.
Now, now. Show a little tolerance.
Look how happy he is.
What the hell's going on?
You sound like a bunch of faggots.
Give her a chance.
Are you feeling all right?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Look, they're not so bad.
- They're nuts, can't you see?
They're a bunch of psychopaths.
We can't stay here.
They're all right.
You just have to get to know them.
How? All you do is drink and hunt
and watch television.
Then let's do something else.
What do you want to do?
What is it?
- I feel like blowing eggs.
What?
- I want to blow eggs.
Your turn, Stefan.
Isn't this fun?
- Yeah...
Did you blow eggs, too,
when you were kids?
Yeah, I did.
Every Easter, we used to blow forty
eggs until we were red in the face.
It was real fun.
Did you guys have animals, too,
when you were kids?
Let's just do the eggs.
Your turn, Torkild.
I don't want to.
- Come on, everyone else did one!
If he doesn't want to, then...
Okay, I'll blow one.
Nothing's happening, Torkild!
You're doing it all wrong, Torkild.
Torkild, you're doing it all wrong.
Torkild, you haven't got a clue.
Let him try.
- I've never seen anyone worse at it.
Here, let me show you.
Wait, Stefan.
Torkild, if you just...
Shut the fuck up, bitch!
There's something wrong
with that egg.
Stefan, get her out of here.
- Come on, honey...
What happened?
Look at that, the shell's all wrong.
It wasn't you, Torkild.
Yeah. It must have been a sick hen.
Yeah, the shell looks weird.
- Sure, just forget it.
Drive!
Maybe I should say goodbye?
- No. Then we won't get the van.
It's Torkild's van.
- You don't owe him anything.
He owes you money, right?
- Yes, but...
Then drive!
Come on, Stefan!
- Okay.
Dagur...
- I'm playing billiards.
Just listen to this.
Are you guys related or what?
What is this childish crap?
Why won't he come back?
Sit down and watch this.
- I've seen it 20 times.
It's no fun anymore.
How about a card game?
- I'm going to bed.
To bed?
- Alfred's coming tomorrow morning.
You could stay up for a bit. What if
Stefan comes back? Or customers?
Listen, there won't be any customers.
If there are, wake me up. Good night.
What if he doesn't come back?
- Good night, Torkild.
They want to know
if we've got fireworks.
So, Stefan.
Open Granddad's present.
Oh, my!
- Thanks, Granddad.
It's from Grandma, too.
Not that you care.
Eat properly, Stefan!
Small bites.
You don't care that Grandma
is full of cancer, do you?
Yes, I do.
- How often have you visited her?
Once! One lousy visit from you
in two weeks.
You'll be sorry when she's gone.
When I went blind, they told me my
other senses would be enhanced.
But I've just had these damn colds
all the time.
Stefan,
today you become an adult.
So let me tell you what my father
told me when I was confirmed:
Never forget your family!
No matter what happens,
never forget your family.
Just look at Susanne and...
- Anders.
Anders. Susanne and Anders.
We all know what you went through
with your little boy.
The Lord took him.
But did you give up? No!
You kept on going,
because you had your family.
Stop that!
- What happened?
Nothing.
- Was I snoring?
It's okay.
- You get used to it.
Just wait till you meet Uncle Sven,
he nearly choked on his own snot.
I hope they come to the christening.
They're looking forward to seeing you.
- You said that.
I'm sure they'll like you. And you
have to meet Rolf and Marianne.
They've had three kids
with water on the brain, imagine!
The essence of all this is...
...no matter what happens,
you've got your family.
Rely on them,
and there's nothing you can't do.
Cheers, my boy,
and don't forget that.
Why can't you behave!
Look at that...
I knew it!
I knew it would happen.
I'm bleeding.
I'm bleeding!
Not again!
No, don't lie on the carpet!
You can't get blood off.
I don't want to lose it, Mom!
- Come out here on the floor.
Come on.
- What the hell's going on?
What the hell's going on?
Evening!
There's a fucking restaurant
here somewhere.
It's in the woods.
- I know, that's what they all say.
We've been looking for it
for a fucking day and a half.
Watch your mouth, son!
Let me go.
- Show me where it is!
It's here.
Thank you!
Any customers?
- Sure, they all went for a piss.
What about Carl?
- Not yet.
I think we should go.
- What?
We could drive south.
It's empty, Torkild.
And you owe us a lot of dough.
We'll rob a couple of gas stations
on the way to Barcelona.
You can get some coke, Peter.
And you can get guns, Arne.
I'm going hunting tomorrow.
Get over there!
Take their guns.
Why the fuck did you do this, Torkild?
They're clean.
Have you guys hung up your guns?
It's a trick.
You know I won't shoot unarmed men.
But it won't work.
Here you are...
Now it's a fair fight.
Stay where you are.
Howdy.
Stefan?
- Hi, Torkild. Arne... Peter.
But why?
- It didn't work out.
What about Hanne?
Well...
She cried a bit.
And then she yelled a bit.
Sorry about this, boys.
That's all right, Torkild.
- Shut up!
What is it with you guys?
Are you faggots or what?
Why am I always left out?
You think you're better than me?
Give me the money
so you can die quickly.
It's all gone.
- Don't lie! Where is it?
It's true, it's gone.
We bought this restaurant.
- A restaurant?
But why, Torkild?
Because I wanted my own place.
There he is!
Alfred, for chrissakes, they're dead!
Easy, Alfred.
It's over.
Easy, now...
So that was three roast pork
and one stewed cabbage?
He met his end right there.
Weren't you scared?
- Yes. It was frightening.
And he was an Eskimo?
- Carl thought he was.
But he was actually Norwegian.
- Who's Carl?
The guy sitting at the bar
with Alfred.
He met his match in those two.
Can I show you to your table?
Just sit down,
I'll be there in a moment.
Two more, please.
And one for me, too.
- In just a moment.
Hi, Torkild.
- Hi.
This is Flemming.
- Hi.
Hello.
- Hello.
Is this the... him?
- It's him.
So this is your place?
- Yes, it is.
Would you like to sit down?
- Yes, thank you.
Anything you like. On the house.
- You don't need to do that.
The paper's paying.
But don't give us anything special.
- Of course.
This looks disgusting...
You know who's in there?
Yeah, she looks a lot nicer now.
- No, she doesn't.
She does, Torkild.
- She's blossomed.
He must be well-hung.
- Shut up. Peter, get our best wine.
It's gone.
- It can't be. What's in the holes?
Beer.
Please, help me.
Just do this for me, and
I'll never ask for another favor.
We can't make gourmet food.
- It doesn't matter, just do your best!
That's all that matters, right?
Torkild, you shouldn't have.
- Today's menu. Same for everyone.
I've visited more restaurants
than most people do in a lifetime, -
- but the meal I had
at the Flickering Lanterns, -
- was the worst
I've ever experienced.
But despite the unhygienic tableware -
- and the overcooked,
half-peeled potatoes, -
- I'm giving them four stars anyway.
One for Stefan, one for Peter, -
- one for Arne,
and one for Torkild.