1
[RAVEN SQUAWKING]
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS]
[GARBLED TALKING ON RADIO]
[CLOCK TICKING]
[TALKING CONTINUES]
[GUN COCKS]
[GUNSHOTS]
[SCREAMING, GUNSHOTS]
[GUNSHOTS, GLASS SHATTERING]
[GUNSHOT]
[GUNSHOTS]
MAN:
[SHOUTING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE]
[ROUND CLIPS CLANKING]
[WHISPERING] Please.
You have to.
Please.
Please do it.
- [BREATHING HEAVILY]
- Do it.
Do it. Please.
Please, please.
Go!
Go do it.
[DISTORTED VOICE] Go!
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
[TALKING ON RADIO CONTINUES]
- MAN: Aah!
- [PUNCHES LANDING, CLATTER]
[PUNCHES LANDING, CLATTER]
[SCREAMS]
[SCREAMS]
[DOWN-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
[DOOR CREAKING]
DEEP MALE VOICE: Sid.
Sid.
There you are.
I did it.
It's done.
You're not done, Sid.
We will tell you
when you're done.
[SQUISHING]
- Make her go away!
- [DOOR SLAMS]
Now... beg.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
I'm sorry.
I fucking try!
I can't stop.
[SCREECHING]
[SCREECHING CONTINUES]
[WAILING]
It's time for us
to show you
what your soul looks like.
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
[TALKING ON RADIO CONTINUES]
[GAGGING]
You are alive
to serve that girl.
Do you understand?
- She is your daughter now.
- [HISSING]
All her love.
All her hate.
All her pain.
You will see it.
You will feel it always.
When you look in the mirror.
When you are alone.
When you try to sleep.
You will never know a moment's
peace until she does.
Until her spirit is at rest.
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS]
[GASPS]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
You are awake.
This is real.
You are with us now...
in the place between places.
Your little miseries
entertain us like children
who trap flies
- just to pull their wings off.
- [GUN COCKS]
Just because they can.
[GUNSHOT]
You have realized by now
that you cannot be killed.
What do you think
is keeping you alive?
We are.
[VOICE BREAKING]
Please, just let me fucking die.
Now you are a prisoner
of your own flesh.
Fucking kill me.
As long
as even the smallest part
of your body's intact,
just a fingertip,
you will remain alive.
Alive and aware forever.
You will find the men
who killed that girl,
and you will make them suffer.
You are an animal,
just like them.
That's why we chose you.
[ECHOING] Now go!
[SCREECHING]
[TALKING ON RADIO CONTINUES]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS]
[GRUNTS]
[SPITS]
[GRUNTS]
[GROANING]
[DOOR OPENS]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
Aah!
[GROANING]
[DOOR SLAMS OPEN]
[PUNCH LANDS]
- [PUNCH LANDS]
- [GAGS]
[VOMITS]
[SCREAMS]
[DOOR SLAMS OPEN]
[DOORKNOB RATTLES]
[THUD]
[SPITS]
[CLARINET PLAYING]
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS]
[CLARINET PLAYS]
- [CHUCKLES]
- [SCOFFS]
[THUD]
[DRUMROLL]
[RIM SHOT, CLARINET SQUEAKS]
[HEROIC MUSIC PLAYS,
CROWD CHEERING IN DISTANCE]
[ANGELIC MUSIC PLAYS]
[GASPS]
[SPITTING]
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
[BIRD CRYING]
Dawson!
Jeremy Dawson!
[BIRD CRYING]
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING
IN DISTANCE]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
[WATER DRIPPING]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS]
[WATER DRIPPING]
[WOMAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
[MAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING
IN DISTANCE]
Jeremy!
I'm looking for Jeremy Dawson!
[SINGSONGY VOICE]
Jeremy!
[WATER DRIPPING]
[WATER RUNNING]
[WATER DRIPPING]
WOMAN: All right,
take it slowly, Jeremy.
Okay. Come on.
[WHIMPERING]
[CRYING]
JEREMY:
I'm really sorry, man.
You have to believe me.
[SIGHS]
They told me to stop.
I just...
We were all fuckin' wasted.
I hate myself so much.
You have to forgive me.
- Please.
- I can't.
That's just not possible.
What the fuck
do you want from me?!
I'm going to spend
the rest of my life in jail.
What more do you want?
[SOBBING]
[LAUGHTER IN DISTANCE]
[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]
[SOBS]
[SNIFFLING]
[CRYING]
[GUN COCKS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
[GUN CLICKS]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
[SCREAMS]
Aah!
Aah! [CHOKES]
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING STOPS]
I know it's probably not
what you want to hear right now.
But you can't even begin to
imagine how much I hate myself.
There's nothing you can do to me
that I won't do to myself.
I'm begging you.
You have to forgive me.
I'm really sorry.
But I can't.
That's not gonna happen.
What do you want from me?
[SCREAMS]
Jacob North?
[BODY THUDS]
Lower the weapon.
I will not lower my weapon.
He took away all I had left...
all I cared about.
I'm going to do this.
[GUN COCKS]
I can see how you feel
a little bit
Different
than the other ones
And I can feel how you see
a little bit
Different from the rest
of the world
And I know
you will never talk to me
But you need to know
That you'll always have
the biggest place in...
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
[SIREN WAILING]
And when you're young,
I know the time is slow
[HANDCUFFS CLICKING]
But I learned to be patient
[WAILING CONTINUES]
Because someday
this difference will pay
And your time will come
And your time will come
[DRUM CADENCE PLAYS]
[CADENCE CONTINUES]
[CAN SPRAYING]
[CAN RATTLING]
[CAN SPRAYING]
Rifle ready?
Check.
Grenades?
Check.
We better bring some knives,
as well.
It could get to close contact.
I have to pee.
Right, um...
There's bushes back there.
Go on.
[SIGHS]
[URINATING]
[CHICKEN CLUCKING]
Great.
[SIGHS]
What the fuck?
We've got enemy soldiers
coming this way.
Why didn't you tell me you took
the last fucking tampon?
You know mine starts
a few days after yours.
Come on.
Is this really the time?
SMITH:
You could have left just one.
My knickers are stuffed
with toilet paper.
Yeah, well,
you do like a good stuffing.
SMITH: [SIGHS]
TAYLOR:
You're in charge of the med kit.
You should have got more.
- [RADIO CRACKLES]
- MAN: Taylor, Smith.
There's enemies 30 feet
from your position, 3:00.
You can't move
until you take them out.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
[CHICKENS CLUCKING]
SOLDIER: This way.
Good job.
I suppose you've taken
all the painkillers, too.
You know how bitchy I get
with my cramps.
Do you really want me
in a bad mood?
SOLDIER: Right there.
Come on. My cramps
are way worse than yours.
[EXPLOSION]
You're supposed to tell me
when you take the last one.
You know how much I bleed
the first few days.
TAYLOR: And I don't?
I need the really big ones.
It's like fucking afterbirth.
Use a pad, then.
Tampons won't soak that shit up.
No. That makes me feel like
I'm wearing a nappie.
SOLDIER: [GRUNTS]
[SCREAMS]
- [MOANS]
- We'll go to supplies
and get you all the tampons
you need, all right?
Am I gonna have to start
labeling mine? [SCOFFS]
[THUD]
[GRUNTS]
That's not the fucking point.
I'm gonna bleed on my gear.
These stains don't come out.
I'll do your washing for you,
all right?
Will that make you happy?
And the next round's on you.
[GUNSHOT]
[CHICKENS CLUCKING]
Aah!
TAYLOR: Were you hit?
Fuck, no.
Just cramps.
TAYLOR: Right, come on.
Let's get you some painkillers.
Yeah, and then a pint.
Do we have to go to that pub?
That beer gives me gas.
- I like that pub.
- Oh, you would.
You've got shit taste in pubs.
- Can't go anywhere with you.
- [FLY BUZZING]
[CHICKEN CLUCKING]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS]
[VEHICLE APPROACHING]
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF]
[WATCH TICKING]
- Morning.
- [SNORING]
[SNORING CONTINUES]
[COUGHS, GROANS]
- Morning.
- [COUGHS]
[BREATHES SHARPLY]
Now I know
what the ringing in my head is.
- Can never be too cautious.
- [CHUCKLES]
You were in my boot
for a reason, sunshine.
[GRUNTS]
You got a cigarette?
I'd smoke my own, but, you know,
you stole them from me.
Which, to be honest,
is pretty rude.
I mean, sure,
this is your job, right?
Taking a man's last cigarette?
It's like
some messed-up character flaw.
[COUGHS]
Big guy in the sky.
He judges you
for shit like that.
[SPITS, GRUNTS]
Come on, man.
I'm in the dirt.
I can't feel my hands,
and my brain feels like
it's leaking out my fuckin' ear.
Hook a brother up.
You want to go back in the boot?
So, how much they paying you
to deliver me?
No, wait. Who?
Who's the client?
Then how much.
- Then a smoke.
- You Yankees ever stop yapping?
You know, it's one thing
to be a ruthless cunt,
but it takes real effort
to be a fucking asshole.
I know you.
- No, you don't.
- Sure, I do.
Scarred lip, half-Indian.
Agent Smith-looking
motherfucker.
You're The Postman, right?
I knew it!
[LAUGHS]
You know Healy.
Did he work for you in Chinatown
back in the day? That true?
See, I never believed him,
right,
partly 'cause, no offense,
but we all thought
you were an urban legend,
and partly 'cause, you know,
he is a compulsive fucking liar.
Prick can't help it, though.
Oh, man.
This one time...
Oh, all right!
All right, all right, all right!
I bab... I babble
when I'm nervous, okay?
That's why I smoke.
It calms my nerves.
Inside right pocket.
So, Red... Rediva...
Redivera?
I'm gonna call you Vee, Vee.
So, Vee, you got something
to cut this?
You know what?
I'll just teeth it.
It's cool.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
[INHALES DEEPLY]
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
[EXPLOSION]
[SNARLS]
[KNIFE CLATTERS]
[GRUNTS]
[SCREAMS]
[PUNCH LANDS]
[LAUGHS]
Whew! [LAUGHS]
Ah. Man.
I can't believe
I'm fighting The Postman.
This is, like, the fourth
best moment of my...
[BODY THUDS]
[SPITS]
[SCREAMS]
[GROANS]
[GRUNTS]
Whoo!
THE POSTMAN: [WHIMPERING]
You want to hear
something funny?
The client, he ain't late.
He's standing right here.
[SCREAMS]
[BODY THUDS]
[PANTING]
[CHUCKLES]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
You Swifty?
Yep.
The Postman?
You sure?
Yep.
- [JOINTS CRACKING]
- [GRUNTS]
[RATTLING]
We've been trying to track this
asshole down for a long time.
Next time, call me sooner.
No problem too small
and no job too fucked-up.
I gotta write that down.
Ms. Jackson wants a word.
Sure.
Get in contact
with my secretary.
You don't have a secretary.
There's only so many
sexual-harassment cases
one man can take, right?
He knows what I'm talking about.
Sorry, sweetie.
Ms. Jackson's waiting.
Ohh.
Ah, shit.
[TIRES SCREECH]
[SCRAPING]
[VEHICLE DOORS CLOSE]
[ENGINE STARTS]
[VEHICLE DEPARTING,
TIRES SQUEALING]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS]
[CLOCK TICKING]
[POLICE RADIO CHATTER]
Ready?
I think so, yeah.
You think so?
This isn't the time
to be getting blurry.
You're either in, or you're out.
No half measures.
[SIGHS]
It is a two-man job.
I can't do it without you.
It's risk versus reward.
If you want the latter,
you have to take the former.
Okay.
I'm good.
Then let's go.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]
[LOCK DISENGAGES]
[TRAIN PASSING]
Oh! Oh!
Where you gonna go?!
- Ah, fuck you!
- Come here!
Who the fuck are you?!
Aah!
Fuck!
[GRUNTS]
- [THUD]
- Come on!
- [BONES CRACK]
- Aah!
[THUD]
- Fuck!
- Get his arms!
[ZIP TIE CLICKS]
- [GRUNTS]
- Fuck!
Fuck you, you cunt.
Who's your fucking boyfriend?
Be nice before I wash your mouth
out with pepper spray.
Upstairs!
We're here to effect
a search of the premises.
I'm presuming we're gonna have
your full cooperation.
Well, if you tell me
what you're looking for,
- this can go a lot quicker.
- He doesn't speak.
- He doesn't move.
- I gotcha.
[GRUNTS]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
Hey. Why don't you
cut my hands loose?
And I'll pour us both
a drink, eh?
I've got a lovely bottle
of scotch in the cupboard.
Not a whiskey drinker?
How about I chop us out
a cheeky bit of line?
I won't say anything to the gov.
Just keep it down, all right?
Sorry.
Can't help it.
I talk when I'm nervous.
Don't even bother trying
to play games with me.
Hey!
I was fast asleep,
and two coppers broke in,
dragged me out of bed,
and started fucking up my house!
If there's games to be played,
I've already lost.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
What the fuck
are you doing here?
Get back up there
and keep an eye on him.
How much longer?
As long as it takes.
Just hurry the fuck up.
Listen!
Watch your mouth.
Remember who's in charge here.
The chain of command
went out the window
the minute we broke in here
without a warrant.
We're here till we find the bag
or the sun comes up,
whichever comes first.
Now get back upstairs
and keep an eye on him!
Fuck!
VINCE: No warrant, no lawyer,
no phone call.
Surely it's about time you
told me what you're looking for.
You know exactly
what we're looking for.
Yeah, maybe.
But I want to hear you say it.
The bag.
And what did he tell you
was in the bag?
- Enough.
- To kill for?
- No one's getting killed.
- You sure about that?
Yeah, I'm fucking sure.
Don't flatter yourself.
Well, if I don't, who will?
Looks to me like you two
have got very different reasons
for pulling me out of bed.
You, you're just greedy.
But he's desperate.
You see, there's a lot more in
that bag than just easy money.
Your partner,
oh, he's up to his neck in it.
Had his hand in my pocket
long as I've been in business.
Just bad luck for him
I keep such detailed records.
You're gonna tell me
where it is.
VINCE: Who you been talkin' to,
Jimmy boy?
Oh, come on.
You might as well tell me.
Now, what difference
does it make?
It was Simon.
Simon.
And what did he tell you?
He said you kept it close.
And you believed him?
Gave him good enough reason
not to lie.
Did he tell you everything?
Looks like you're gonna
have to fill in the blanks.
And if I don't?
I'll carve you up.
Ohh.
Don't forget what you are,
Jimmy.
You cross this line,
you're one of us.
Fair game.
I'm nothing like you.
You're poisoning communities.
You're killing people,
and you're getting fat
and rich off it,
and that disgusts me.
See, I don't want to hurt you.
Give me a reason.
Go and fuck yourself, Jimmy!
Aah!
- It's in the bedroom!
- Where?
On the floor is a secret
compartment in the corner.
Christ!
[SIGHS]
Keep your eyes on him.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
[GRUNTS]
You know he's got a gun, right?
When this turns from robbery
to execution,
where does that leave you?
Witness to a murder
you wanted no part of.
Either that or a loose end.
[CHUCKLES] Seems to me
you're double fucked either way.
- Shut your mouth.
- Or what?
You'll handcuff me, ransack
my house, and steal my shit?
Now, you want to threaten me,
you do what your partner did...
Grab a knife and start cutting.
[GROANING]
[SCREAMING]
Listen.
Blue sofa, behind one
of the cushions is a gun.
It's reliable,
and it's ready to shoot.
Loaded gun gets you
another five years.
You're wasting time.
Any second now, your partner's
gonna come storming up
those stairs
and stick a gun in my face!
Now, I am done.
But you've still got
half a chance.
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
Did you not find it?
- Fucking time waster.
- [GUN COCKS]
What the fuck
are you doing, Jimmy?
You never said anything
about a gun.
Why should I? I'm
an authorized firearms officer,
and this is a firearm.
That is not police issue.
No, I know it's not.
I took it off his pal Simon.
It's got his prints all over it.
I pull the trigger,
and Simon takes the blame.
Jimmy.
Jimmy, we never agreed to this.
Well, it's happening,
so either man up or fuck off!
This is fucking murder.
That's up to him.
Now, I'm not gonna say
this is your last chance,
'cause you've already had that.
Where's the bag?
- Where's the fucking bag?!
- Jimmy!
Jimmy, listen to me.
You need to calm down.
- Jimmy!
- Where's the bag?
Where's the fucking bag?
Where's the fucking bag?!
[GUN COCKS]
Jimmy, I'm fucking warning you!
[GUN COCKS]
[BREATHING RAPIDLY]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
NATHAN: [GASPING]
[BREATHING RAPIDLY]
[COUGHING]
[CHOKING]
[COUGHING]
VINCE: Hey.
Let me look, okay?
It's bad.
If I put my finger in the wound,
I can maybe stop the bleeding
long enough
for an ambulance to get here.
[CHOKES, COUGHS]
[CHOKING]
[GASPING]
[GASPING STOPS]
Simon.
Yeah, he showed up,
just like you said.
And there was no going, so...
not exactly according to plan,
but it's done.
Yeah, he's off our backs
for good.
I'm gonna need a hand
with the cleanup.
Simon.
Bring the bag.
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS]
In 2019, humankind fell victim
to the most devastating plague
in recorded history.
No one knows the origins
of this virus,
and, as yet, no cure exists.
All we know is that,
with every savage bite,
the plague spreads.
Entire nations were decimated.
Some fought back...
driving the infected
away from the cities
and barricading them out.
Behind fortified city walls,
society struggles to rebuild,
leaving the world beyond
to the savage outsiders.
Many believe all hope is lost.
Many believe
this is the end of times.
Many believe
this is Armageddon.
But one man
sees things differently.
One man gives hope to millions.
One man thinks...
it's awesome!
[HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
I'm Hunter Smith, and, today,
we're in the moors of England.
As always on this show, we're
gonna be hunting the outsiders.
But in the first time
in the show's history,
we're gonna be doing it in their
own environment... in the wild.
With me is Dr. James Borans,
notorious pro-outsider activist.
He thinks these flesh-eating
bastards are just misunderstood.
Good to have you
on the show, Doc.
Thank you for having me.
- Ready to get some?
- Well, that's not really why...
Ah, then let's get some!
- [ENGINE REVS]
- Oh, Jesus.
Now, I think it's fair to say
that you see the outties
a little differently than most,
what I would call sane, people.
The outsiders,
as I and other normal people
prefer to call them...
Beast hugger, monster botherer,
Dr. Strangelove,
Professor Chinless...
all names hurled at you
for your beliefs.
The outsiders
need our compassion,
not our hatred and fear.
Fear?
Who's afraid, Doc?
No offense,
but I'm gonna show you
just how batshit certifiable
the idea of compassion is
where outties are concerned.
By tackling
these mindless, savage beasts
on their home turf,
we've driven them
from our cities.
It's time to finish the job.
Let's get some!
And cut.
Good work, Doc.
- Great stuff.
- [SIGHS]
Can you please stop
calling "cut"?
No, the moment was perfect.
Got to keep the energy up.
- Let's turn it around, people.
- Right, respect, Hunter...
There is such a thing.
I respect
each and every one of you.
Come on, Lise.
I respect B.J.
Don't I, B.J?
That's just 'cause
he makes you look good.
- I respect this guy.
- What's his name?
He's the sound guy.
He's called Mike.
It's honor to be a Mike.
I'm gonna be the first.
That's the spirit.
Oh, God.
How do we find these people?
- Look, doll.
- Don't call me "doll."
You used to like it.
Yeah, well,
we all have our bloops.
[SIGHS]
Don't let him browbeat you.
You could outsmart
this Neanderthal in your sleep.
He has an ax.
You have a brain and a voice.
- Use it.
- Oh.
You have a great voice, sir.
Very rich timbre.
Like velvet. Hm.
Mm, thank you.
You said "the first" earlier.
The first what?
The first sound man
to survive an entire wrap.
Mike 3, Ned Butters...
He holds the record.
Made it past the final outbreak.
Disemboweled two minutes before
the end credits. [SCOFFS]
Well, you're gonna need
more than fancy training shoes
to run faster
than the outsiders.
Oh, I only need to run faster
than you, sir.
[CHUCKLES]
We're ready for action, and
the fat lady's ready to sing.
Now, just to remind you, Doc.
Should you be infected
by the outties,
I'm legally bound to shoot you.
Hope that's not too simplistic.
Stick close.
- Right?
- And cut!
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
So, pop quiz, Doc.
Your wife's infected
by the virus.
She's turned mutie.
She's literally after
your beating heart.
Probably your old fella
for dessert, too.
You're packing heat.
It's her or you.
What do you do?
Well, first of all,
I wouldn't be packing heat.
And secondly,
I think it's wrong to frame
the debate in such terms.
Look, all I'm saying is that
we have a duty as human beings
to our less fortunate fellows
to do everything we can
to try and help them,
to try and cure them.
[SCOFFS]
The only cure are these puppies.
I won't believe
that their humanity is lost.
Ugh. In all my years
hunting these beasts,
I haven't seen a single
shred of evid... Aah!
Aah! [COUGHS]
[WEAKLY] Cut!
[COUGHING]
[GASPING]
Please tell me
you set this trap.
Why and when
would I have done that?
I don't know!
Some stupid, secret way
- of jazzing up the show.
- All righty, come on.
Not single shred?
[SCOFFS] There's no way
outties could have done this.
We don't know what outsiders can
and can't do
because you're too busy
slaughtering them
like some moronic butcher
before anybody gets a chance
to study them.
- I am not a moron.
- And outsiders
are nothing
but knuckle-dragging monsters,
incapable of setting
moron-snaring traps.
Ha!
There, you admit it.
I'm quoting you.
We can find a cure.
You couldn't find a cock
in a dick shop.
Children, we need to leave,
okay?
- It's gonna be dark soon.
- Ergo, Mr. Buffalo Bell-End,
you're an alpha moron
in complete and utter denial.
Yeah?
Well, you can...
ergo and suck on
my grandfather's leathery balls!
[GROWLS, GUNSHOT]
[HIGH-PITCHED SCREECHING]
B.J., you still rolling?
- B.J.: Yeah, I got you, mate.
- Come on!
[GROWLING, GUNSHOT]
[RIFLE COCKS]
[SNARLING]
HUNTER:
B.J., help would be nice!
- [THUD]
- [GROWLING]
Aah!
And cut!
[SIGHS]
[GROANS]
B.J., you're legend.
Great techers.
- Everyone okay?
- [GRUNTS]
Oh, shit, B.J.
I'm sorry, Hunter.
I'm sorry.
We all signed the waiver.
[CROW CAWING]
I never thought I'd be putting
you in a mike bag, buddy.
See you on the other side.
LISA:
If these things can think,
we need to get back
to the city, reassess.
No, we can't go back now.
How do we know we'll be able
to find this pack again?
We might have spooked them.
Yeah, they looked
really fucking spooked.
JAMES: Look, they were smart
enough to lay that trap.
If the outsiders can think,
then they can feel.
That means the great Hunter
is a murderer.
HUNTER: [SIGHS]
You want to go out there,
blind, outnumbered,
with no cameraman?
Yeah, that's exactly
what I'm suggesting.
Fuck that.
We go back to the city,
come back with better light,
bigger guns,
and a new cameraman.
Nuke the motherfuckers
to kingdom come.
All those in favor
say "fuck, yeah."
BOTH: Fuck, yeah.
Get the rest of the camera.
I guess your vote doesn't count,
Dr. No.
MIKE: Holy shit!
- [BREATHING HEAVILY]
- Oh, my God.
JAMES:
It looks like a child.
- Maybe they can breed.
- Keep it in your pants, Doc.
- [SCREECHES]
- [RIFLE COCKS]
No!
It's just a kid.
Think about how much
we can learn.
- We got to get out of here.
- Come on.
It's your lucky day, Smagol.
[SCREECHING]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
[GROWLING]
[GUNSHOT]
- [GUNSHOT]
- Aah!
- [GUNSHOT]
- Come on.
MIKE: Go, go!
I'm gonna make it!
[PANTS]
I'm gonna make it!
- Aah!
- [GROWLS]
- [GROWLS]
- [GASPS, SCREAMS]
I am gonna make it!
I'm gonna make... Aah!
- No, no, no!
- [OUTSIDERS GROWLING]
[SCREAMING]
We're dead.
We're dead.
HUNTER: We will be
if you don't move it, Borans!
- Go, go, go.
- Where's Mike?
He's a sound man.
He was never gonna make it.
LISA:
You're such a cock!
Hurry up, Hunter!
I'm Hunter Smith, and...
- Hunter!
- Oh, fuck it!
[MACHINE-GUN FIRE]
- [RIFLE CLICKS]
- Fuck.
LISA:
Bring it on, fuckers!
Shit!
Help me, Hunter!
Hunter!
[ANIMAL HOWLING]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
[OWL HOOTING]
[TWIG SNAPS]
You okay?
- Move.
- [RIFLE COCKS]
[GUNSHOT]
Keep it.
You're gonna need it.
So, you ready, Doc?
[RIFLE COCKS]
Then let's get some.
[MUSIC-BOX MUSIC PLAYS]
WOMAN: Shh.
Shh, shh, shh.
Shh.
Shh.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
Sasha.
[DOOR OPENS]
[ZIPPER UNZIPS]
TOGETHER: Nasdrovia!
Ahh. Ahh.
Sasha.
[BONES CRACK]
[COUGHING]
Oh!
[CHUCKLES]
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
[CHUCKLES]
[SCREAMS]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
Aah!
Wow.
Oh.
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Hmm?
[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHS]
Ah, please.
Mm.
Hmm?
- Hmm?
- [SOBS]
[SNIFFLES]
- [SCREAMS]
- [COUGHING]
[CRYING]
[PUNCHES LANDING]
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Shh, shh. Shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh, shh.
[CHUCKLES]
- [THUD]
- Aah!
[KICK LANDS]
MAN: Aah!
[GROANING]
Hey!
- [TAPE RIPS]
- [GROANS]
Okay?
[TAPE RIPPING]
Sasha!
Aah! [STRAINS]
[SCREAMING]
Sasha!
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
[MUSIC-BOX MUSIC PLAYS]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS]
FETCH:
You got to be kidding me.
Remember that old TV show
"The Rockford Files"?
God, I used to love that show.
Rockford could always
see through the bullshit
to the truth.
Anyway,
let me introduce myself.
My name is John Fetcher.
But you can call me Fetch.
Because I get things.
It's what I do.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
Live like
you're gonna die tomorrow
Shoot your gun
at the rising sun
Crash right into your walls
and watch them
So, I got a call around 2:00
a.m. about this guy Sonny.
Seemed he'd jumped bail,
and he was worth about 10 G's.
Now, the only reason
I bring him up is,
they always tell you it's easy.
But you know what?
It's never easy.
She don't mind,
shakes it all the time
- Like a monkey's on her back
- [SNEEZES]
You got time
Man, she got the crime
Gonna get it while she can
Live like
you're gonna die tomorrow
[KEYS JANGLE]
[ICE RATTLING]
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
[SNIFFS]
[RINGING CONTINUES]
[BEEP]
It's Fetch.
- You know what to do.
- [BEEP]
SUSAN: John? Hey, it's Susan.
[CHUCKLES] Quick question.
Do you think you could get
your head out of your ass
and send me my alimony check?!
I'm still waiting for it, John.
What is going on?
Listen, all of the girls
are getting together this week.
We were all gonna go
to the islands...
Marla, Emily,
all of my girlfriends.
And I had to be humiliated
by the fact
that I can't even afford to go.
Maybe if they were gonna go to
IHOP for some lingon pancakes,
I'd be in, but in this case,
I have to sit it out.
John, send me the check!
FETCH:
She wasn't always that greedy.
Then, again,
I wasn't always this broke.
Either way,
she's not as bad as she seems.
[SLOW MUSIC PLAYS]
I quit smoking
the day she left.
6 months and 12 days.
All right. Give me a break.
I'm working on it.
I just got hit by a car,
for God's sake.
She's the finest girl...
[CELLPHONE RINGING]
JIMMY: Hey, Fetch.
How you doing? It's Jimmy.
You got my 10 grand?
JIMMY:
Not exactly, man, but listen.
I got something better for you.
50 G's.
No problem.
Be a piece of cake, man.
- It will be easy.
- It's never easy.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
Live like
you're gonna die tomorrow
I've been doing this so long,
it all starts to look the same.
- [DOORBELL RINGS]
- For example,
a gig like this
always begins with a mansion.
Sometimes a maid.
I have an appointment with...
...the Smiths?
And let's not forget.
Mr. Fetcher.
Thanks for coming.
The desperate rich couple.
[COUGHING]
Call me Fetch.
Can you help us?
Can you find her?
Well, tell me what happened.
Well, last Friday night,
we came home late from dinner.
- She was gone.
- My mother was babysitting.
They must have taken her
while she was sleeping.
[SOBS]
[CRYING]
She must have been so scared.
- [SOBS]
- Cops?
No.
[PAPER RUSTLES]
- You paid?
- Of course we paid.
Look, we just want Bella back.
And we haven't heard anything.
It's okay.
We're gonna get her back.
- [SIGHS]
- Right?
I'm gonna need a recent photo.
That's a cute kid.
I'll be in touch.
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
I got all the information
I needed from the rich couple.
[COUGHING]
It may not seem like much,
but that ransom note gave me
a pretty good idea
where to start.
See, this was Susan's problem
with our relationship.
It was always me waiting
in some dirty alley
and her waiting
at home for me.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
Here we go.
Like clockwork.
My low-life informant
and his entourage.
[SNEEZES]
Meet Spike,
your typical small-time crook
who believes he's a rap star.
Come on, Spike.
Sunglasses on a rainy day?
Hey, Spike.
Long time, no see.
Yo, how ya doin'?
[CHUCKLES]
Yeah, it's been awhile.
I hear you're one
of the big dogs now.
[LAUGHS]
I'm doin' all right.
What?
I don't know nothin'
about that kidnapping!
Yo.
Now, this happens a lot
in my line of work,
and it's only gonna get worse,
so let me just make this quick.
[MAN SCREAMS]
SPIKE: [GRUNTING]
It never takes Spike long
to give up the information.
All right.
I know what you're thinking.
Come on. I just got attacked
by four guys.
SUSAN: I wish you could pull
your head out of your ass
and just call me back.
Give me a little bit of
fucking respect, you bonehead.
It's your ex-wife.
I'd like my money.
- It's...
- [CELLPHONE CLICKS]
Well...
Hmm. No.
I think it's gonna be
five more big ones, and, uh...
what do you say, Franky?
I'm in.
[REGGAE MUSIC PLAYS]
- Son of a bitch.
- [LAUGHS]
- What?
- Son of a bitch.
We are so easy!
FETCH:
Look at these guys.
Dressed in black,
smoking cigarettes,
playing cards.
They got to be bad guys.
- [LAUGHS]
- FETCH: Hello?!
Hello?!
Hello? [WHISTLES]
Anyone home?
- So...
- [CLANGING]
Sorry.
My car broke down.
And I saw your sign out here.
I...
I don't even know what this is,
but I was wondering
if you guys could h...
Am I... Am I interrupting?
Who the fuck are you?
I'm John Fetcher.
- You can call me Fetch.
- Right.
Franky, would you take care
of Fetch here?
What the fuck do you want, man?
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
Vinny! Chet!
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC
PLAYING ON EARBUDS]
[SIGHS]
[ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS]
[VOLUME INCREASES]
[GROANING]
[SNEEZES]
[BLOWS NOSE]
[LAUGHS]
Hey! [GRUNTS]
[BODY THUDS]
[DEVICE CLICKS]
[MEN SCREAMING]
Remember when I said
it was gonna get worse?
This is
what I was talking about.
[GLASS SHATTERING]
[PUNCHES LANDING]
[CRASH]
[PUNCHES LANDING]
[CRASH, MAN SCREAMS]
[PUNCHES LANDING]
[GLASS SHATTERING,
PUNCHES LANDING]
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS]
[MUTTERS]
Hey, what the fuck is going on?
You let me down, man.
FETCH:
Here's the deal.
I'm gonna ask you a question.
You're gonna give me
the right answer.
- If you don't...
- [LIFT WHIRRING]
[GRUNTING]
What, are you out
of your fuckin' mind?!
Do... Do you know who I am, man?
No.
Where's Bella?
I don't know
what you're talkin' about.
- [CLICKS]
- Bella?
Oh! Oh! Stop, Stop!
Stop, stop!
Stop, stop, stop, stop!
I'm sorry.
Did you want to say something?
Listen, they're gonna kill me
if I tell you, man.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait a minute.
Okay, there.
We just dropped her off.
Oh! Oh! Wait, wait, wait!
Wait, wait, wait!
She's at a warehouse on Morgan
downtown.
That's all I know.
I swear to God.
[WHIMPERS]
It was all starting
to come together,
just like a good episode
of "The Rockford Files."
I was finally starting
to see through the bullshit.
[GUN COCKS]
Surprise, surprise.
It could have been so easy.
Bruce, it's never easy.
BRUCE:
She wouldn't listen to me.
She had to call you.
She's so annoying.
Do you know what it feels like
to be bitched at all the time?
Have somebody tell you
all the time what to do?!
As a matter of fact, Bruce,
I do.
Really?
Well.
Well, there's no harm done here.
What do you think we should do?
I'll tell you what.
Uh...
How about I double your fee,
and you're on your way?
That's not an option.
You might want
to reconsider that.
No.
Where the hell
did she come from?
I should have seen it comin'.
That's original.
[CHUCKLES]
Crooked husband extorting
money from the rich wife
while all the time
cheating with the...
Hot maid.
Right.
[SIGHS]
Normally, I-I don't hit women.
Do you do windows?
[CELLPHONE RINGS]
[LAUGHING]
You hit like a girl.
[RINGING CONTINUES]
SUSAN: John, are you there?
I can hear you breathing.
John, listen,
I just want you to know
that I spoke to my father
this morning,
and he told me he thinks I can
go back to the judge in court
and I can get more money.
What a bitch.
SUSAN: Who is that?
- I know.
- Is there someone with you?
Was that a girl? What,
are you two laughing at me?
Listen, bitch,
you get on the phone!
[SCREAMS]
[SUSAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[SNEEZES]
SUSAN: John? Hello?!
John, are you there?
John, I can hear you!
You know what, John?
I am sick and tired
of your bullshit.
It's been days, and you haven't
even bothered to call me back.
Do you forget who's the catch
in this relationship?
I was Miss Iowa!
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS]
No way.
You got to be kidding me.
Like I said...
it's never easy.
But this time, it was worth it.
They call me Fetch.
'Cause I get things.
It's what I do.
SUSAN: Hey, it's Susan.
Leave a message.
FETCH: Um, Susan, it's John.
I'm calling.
I have the check
you've been waiting for,
so give me a call back,
and maybe I could drop it off?
Let me know.
Okay, bye.