Hi, I'm Alex.
I play football for the
greatest college in the world,
blue mountain
state university.
We excel at three things here,
science, social awareness
and...
I'm kidding.
It's a straight party school,
no one goes to class here.
This is Sammy,
he's my best friend.
That's Donnie,
he likes to drink.
Harmon, he likes drugs.
Mary Jo, she's a cheerleader.
This is Larry.
Ah, what can we say about
Larry? I don't know.
We'll think about it.
That's our coach.
He's legendary.
Oh, and this is thad.
He was our team captain.
Great football player,
terrible person.
He just graduated and
I couldn't be happier,
because this is
my senior year.
Without question,
this is going to be
the greatest year of my life.
They call him the
fifty million dollar man!
Last month was the NFL draft
where thad castle of blue
mountain state was selected.
Number one overall, a pick
that was widely regarded
to be enormously risky.
Now is he the most naturally
gifted linebacker we've seen
since Lawrence Taylor?
Yes.
Is he also the least naturally
gifted when it comes
to making decisions,
off the field?
An even bigger yes.
I'm dhani Jones here
with thad castle
to discuss his new
fame and fortune.
Thad castle,
thanks for being here.
You're welcome
for having me.
Thad, let's just get
right into it,
multi-million dollar contract.
Peanuts.
Fifty million dollar
signing bonus.
Peanuts.
Are you calling
fifty million dollars
peanuts?
It's a good start,
but honestly,
I expected to be
making billions.
With a "b"?
No.
With a dollar sign.
Thad, what are you
gonna do with
all this money?
Probably just...
Make myself happy.
Like the other day,
I was feeling so down.
I almost cried.
I went out and
bought 97 guns.
I love guns.
I got a pistol,
a machine gun,
a call of duty gun,
a halo gun.
And I got a tank.
I got this one gun
that just shoots
for 45 seconds, straight.
Oh, also,
I bought a zoo.
I got wolves
and giraffes,
I got monkeys.
Mountain lions.
Woah!
Saber tooth tigers. I mean,
I figure what the hell?
If Matt Damon can buy a zoo,
so can thad castle.
How do you like
them apples?
I also got a dinosaur.
It's the, ah, the big monster
one with horns growing
out of its face.
A rhinoceros?
What?
With the horn,
a rhinoceros.
The dinosaur.
Yeah.
I got one.
Thad, talk to me
about Alex moran.
There's a lot of talk
questioning his ability
to lead the...
Mountain goat team.
Oh, ask me
about my shoes.
Hey, well, tell me
about your shoes.
They're called
"thadinators."
They're like Jordan's,
but in mine,
you can run higher
and jump faster.
Isn't it a run faster
and jump higher.
We're still working
on our slogan.
So which company
is making these shoes?
Uh, mine does...
Uh, thad company.
Thad company.
It's the same company
that makes my hats,
and waterproof shirts,
and condoms.
And also the
same company
that makes this
hall of fame jacket
you haven't even
asked me about yet.
Don't you think you should
wait until you get to
the hall of fame
before you wear
a jacket like that?
Oh, yeah. Don't you
think you should wait,
till you get in
the hall of fame?
Waiting is for pussies.
Well, there you have it.
Thad, meet the world...
Hey sloots,
say "hi" to the world.
Hey, world.
World, meet thad castle.
And we're out.
Somebody get my chopper!
Blue 16.
Blue 16.
Hey, o'brien!
I'm pretty sure if that
ball was an std you
would've caught it!
Sorry, coach.
Good throw.
Thanks, coach.
Let us go home.
What? What'd you say?
Hmm?
Another? You want me
to throw another one?
No.
I could throw
another one.
Second team,
get second team
in there.
Second team!
Let's go, let's go!
Then all at once I was
shot out into the light
like a Cannon ball.
Anyway, that's how I got my
kicking shoe out of that
elephant's asshole.
Somebody's got to
talk to coach about these
four-hour practices.
This is killing me.
No. We need them.
Season's right
around the corner.
I gotta be honest with you
guys. It doesn't matter how
much extra practice we have,
we aren't going
to do well this year.
We're terrible.
Whoa, we're not
gonna be that bad man.
We've got you
and your arm,
we've got my kicking leg
and we've got Donnie's...
Hmm-mmm.
I wanna say muscles?
That'll work.
But three people
can't carry this team.
No. Right now is
our time to party.
Right now.
It's just...
I mean look at Sammy.
He's been hammered
since 10:00 am.
He's doing it right.
Hey, Sammy!
Hi, buddy,
how you doing?
I got fucking
hammered last night.
I don't know what
he's saying right now.
Do you understand that?
I don't know
what he's saying.
He's so hammered.
Sammy.
You're doing it all wrong.
I know you're drunk
but you're fucking it up
for all of us.
It's not even me.
It's the fucking goddamn goat.
He's a fucking asshole.
He's a goat.
You're a human person.
There's no rivalry here.
Ouch!
What the fuck,
he just bit me!
He did not
just bite you.
Billy would never
bite anyone...
Aw.
Aw.
He did.
He fucking bit me!
Yeah, fucking
go pet him,
you little piece of shit!
Okay, coach summers,
round them up.
Round them up,
like, here?
Yes, right here!
Round them up.
So he said, "at least
it wasn't a reach around."
Ha, ha, ha, ha, okay.
Joke time's over.
I need you guys
to round up.
It's too weird.
I'm sorry,
it's coach summers now.
And I need you guys
to round up.
Hey, can I try your hat on?
I've always wanted
to wear...
No, don't take my hat!
Give me back...
All right, I'll give you
your hat back.
I need my playbook.
- Give me that.
- Hey!
Quit screwing around!
Round up!
God!
You don't bone tag
your coach!
All right
now listen up.
You all know the cheerleaders.
They helped me
prepare a little cheer.
Especially for you guys.
You ready?
Oh.
It's kind of catchy.
Great practice
today, champ.
Oh, my god,
I do not want to talk
about practice.
Yeah, neither do I. I actually
need some advice from you.
And it's about a girl.
I've seen the girls
you get with, Mary Jo.
I should be taking
advice from you.
No, this one's
different.
She's not some
brainiac phd like
i usually go for.
Okay.
She's dumb as rocks
like you usually go for.
But she's so fun.
It's...
Really nice.
Okay, well, my advice,
you should bring her
by the goat house.
That's the advice
from Alex moran,
king of bms?
Yes.
Bring her to a house?
Well, it's not
just a house.
It's just a house.
It's not just a house.
It's just a house.
It worked on you,
freshman year.
Fine.
Maybe it worked
on one smart girl.
It's like an
aphrodisiac.
It's like oysters
or money.
It's magical.
Fine. I'll bring her
to the goat house.
I don't know, maybe
I'll finger her on the
lawn or something.
Well, Sammy did just
mow the lawn yesterday.
So...
Okay, perfect.
Skin it here, Alex.
All right.
Thanks, dude.
Ugh!
Bye.
What are you
doing here?
It's a...
...drug I'm working on.
Figure if I am going to
get into the family drug
manufacturing business
after I graduate,
i really gotta...
Buckle down.
Yeah, yeah. Let me
have a hit of that.
Oh!
This isn't
for everybody.
It's pretty intense.
Alex, what the hell
are we doing here man?
I have some
very important
drinking to do.
The coach called
a meeting, he said
no booze.
And he's the boss.
That's right, moran.
I am the boss.
This is Dean oliviar.
Olivares.
Say again.
Olivares!
Whatever.
Anyway he's
new here at bms.
So, I want you to sit there.
And I want you to show
him some respect.
And stop making
that face.
What? This is just my face.
Well, sorry.
Anyway, Dean
the floor is yours.
What is a Dean?
Excellent question.
A Dean is like a coach.
For the
whole university.
You could say
that I am the coach
of your coach.
Excuse me are you
saying cooch?
Coach, yeah.
That's a cooch.
Like a female.
Coach, coach.
"Coach." He's saying coach.
Oh, coach.
Yeah. Got it.
Way off on that one.
As your coach,
I have a big problem
with your behavior.
Twenty-five percent
arrest rate.
Yeah!
Drinking,
drugs, indecent exposure.
What I find
is a house full of drunkards,
prostitutes, and imbeciles...
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
We are not prostitutes.
Oh.
Mr. moran.
Hi.
I've heard a lot
about you.
Hey, congrats, man.
Thanks, guys.
The king of
blue mountain state.
The king of
blue mountain state.
I wouldn't say that.
Well I got news for you,
Mr. moran.
Your kingdom,
has a new ruler.
Me!
I thought you were
the cooch?
I heard that the first time.
You better makeup
your mind.
I'm the coach.
But I'm going to be king just
as soon as I storm your
castle, Mr. moran.
You're gonna bang Alex?
What?
I'm not comfortable
with that.
Why would you
want to do that?
He's not banging
anybody!
Now, shut up!
Yeah, uh...
What I mean to say,
Saturday at midnight,
blue mountain state,
will seize this...
Goat house,
and auction it to
the highest bidder.
What?
That you understand,
don't you?
You can't take
the goat house.
Oh, I can.
I can.
This house of filth and
lawlessness is no longer
yours to rule.
Now if you'll excuse me.
I have other students
that I need to
coach.
Shit. Okay, all right.
Okay, okay.
Coach, coach,
you can't let this happen.
Next year is my senior year.
If the team sucks,
this house
is all I have.
Well, then you better
make sure that the team
doesn't suck.
Just gonna have a beer,
we're gonna have a beer
and just relax.
Too much shit has happened
here, we can't let it go.
I waited three years
for this house to be mine.
Now I'm not letting
some smug prick
walk up in here
and take it from me.
No. What we need is a plan.
Prostitutes.
We'll become prostitutes,
sell our bodies,
make some money.
We're definitely not doing
a hunger strike.
Oh, I'm having a brainstorm.
We kill the Dean!
No.
We kill the Dean's family and
make it look like he did it.
That's a great one.
No, guys.
We're not killing
anybody, okay?
What we need is
some quick cash.
Now let's think
about this.
Who would be dumb enough
to spend hundreds of
thousands of dollars
to buy this house?
What the hell
is this shit?
Did I not tell
this prick chef,
medium-rare well?
I heard you say it.
You definitely told him.
And you call
this bearnaise sauce?
I'm appalled right now!
Somebody tell that chef
I want a ham, with veal in it,
and crab legs sticking out.
I'm paying $12,000 for it,
so it better taste
like $12,000!
Hey, thad.
I was just won...
Yep, there it is. Okay, hi.
I'm Alex. What's your name?
Seriously?
He's clean.
Hair.
Clean.
Balls.
What?
Ah, what the...
Clean.
Yeah.
I, uh, I just...
Hey! Whoa, whoa!
Whoa!
Do you want
me to put the...
Put it on.
Who is this guy?
This is dick dawg.
He's my security guy.
And my cousin.
And, um, like my
Butler sometimes.
That's dawg with
a "w-g" motherfucker.
Ah.
Suck my dick,
you bowtie-wearing
piece of shit!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, man. Nice work, dick dawg,
write yourself a check.
Fuck yeah!
You're wearing one too.
You put this on me.
Yeah and he'll do it again,
if I tell him to!
I could dress you in bow ties
for the next thirty years
if I want.
Don't think I got
the money?
Read a newspaper.
Don't got a subscription
to a newspaper?
I could buy you that too.
Reading is fundamentional,
you giant bag of dicks.
Amazing! Write yourself
another check.
All right.
I'm starting to see
the family resemblance here.
Sit down before
i friggin lose my mind!
Um, I guess, I'll just
get to it then.
Um...
Um...
Fucking say it.
The Dean is selling
the goat house.
And I was just thinking that
now that you're super rich,
and famous that you could
maybe you could buy the house
and give it to me.
Hey, you wanna see
something funny, moran?
Watch this.
Whap, whap, whap, whap,
whap, whap, whap, whap,
whap, whap,
whap, whap, whap, whap,
whap, whap...
It's so fun, you have
to try it moran.
Do you know what,
I'm good thanks.
Whap, whap, whap.
Fine. Suit yourself, god.
So, the goat house then?
Hmm?
Why would I buy
the goat house?
Because it used to be yours.
We had a lot of
good times there, thad!
We can't let the Dean
take it away.
The past is the past, moran.
I don't have time
to think about bms.
Okay.
I've got better things
to do now.
Bigger things.
Huge things.
Enormous things.
Gigantic things.
Infinity things.
Uh... why did I not
think of that?
Write me a check to myself.
Please, thad,
you're my only hope.
Okay,
you really talked me
into it, moran.
So, here's what
I'm willing to do.
Aw!
I'm on a fucking
roll right now.
What the...
You throw me this party?
The fuck!
And I'll help you out.
Thadland?
I came up with the idea
when I was 10.
I wished for a party
that was...
Bigger than
any party the world
had ever seen before.
A party full of wonder,
and dreams, and titties!
A place where I could
celebrate going pro and
being a billionaire.
And I called that place...
"Thadland."
I only have $50,000,000
so far,
but it'll have to do.
Okay.
Why can't you just throw
this party yourself?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah
oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because that would be tacky.
Here's your veal.
Stuffed ham with crab legs.
Whoa!
Look, I, I...
I just don't think that this
is gonna be possible.
Well, that's my offer.
Do it and I'll help you out.
Don't do it,
and I won't.
Now get out!
I never want to see your
handsome face in here again.
Get out!
And where the hell
are my meatballs?
This is insane!
I mean, it's doable but
it's all pretty screwed up.
Is, is that a unicorn
shitting a rainbow?
Yeah.
That's not a horn
coming out
of its head,
that's a dildo.
So it's a dildocorn.
But yes,
it is shitting a rainbow.
Okay, guys look,
I have been thinking
a lot about this.
Throwing this party is not
going to be that bad.
Thad and I were really
started hitting it off before
he left school last year.
I'm in. I'm doing this.
Nice.
Screw it. I'm in too.
Gentlemen, before we
get ahead of ourselves,
I'd like to remind you, all
the man we'd be inviting back
into this house.
You are the very same man who
viscously burned down
a field of my weed,
just so he could get
god high.
I understand where you're
coming from, harmon.
Trust me,
there is no other way
to save the goat house.
All right,
you are the king.
Huh?
So you're in?
I'm in!
Yes!
So, we're doing this.
All right, we are.
All right.
Bring it in.
Thadland on three, baby.
Let's go, baby.
One, two, three.
Thadland!
You guys have any clue
what the hell is going on,
on this last page here?
You think he wants to fly?
No. It's a metaphor.
Yeah.
He wants to get so high
it feels like he's flying.
No. He's a plane.
I had a dream the other night
that I was a plane,
and I crashed and burned.
But then I woke up
and I realized
that my bed was just on fire
because I fell asleep
with a lit cigarette.
Um, I'm sorry.
Where did you come from?
Heaven.
Oh, this is your friend!
Right, well, welcome
to the goat house!
It's magical.
Yeah. I can feel it.
Like, the magic.
Right.
And I like the
magic here too.
Yeah, they just cut the grass.
Oh.
Uh, so... we're...
We're throwing
a party this weekend.
You should come.
I'll be there.
Oh, good.
Yeah, we'll be there.
Skin it.
Okay.
All right. Oh! Ha!
Yeah, it's me.
Sammy, how do I look?
Wow, I love that suit.
Yeah?
It looks just like
the one thad drew.
Hey, if he drew it,
we're gonna make it happen.
I don't want to give him
any reason not to
buy us this house.
All right?
Guys, I'm beginning to think
thad's not coming.
Oh, he's coming.
I know it.
What the hell
is that sound?
Is that a...
Is that a fucking
hovercraft?
He's here!
He's here!
Hey, thad.
You're hand's on
a $30,000 coat
right now, moran.
Hey, cool suit,
ass wipe.
Hilarious.
You're the one who told
me wear... never mind.
You remember
the guys right?
Donnie.
Hey, buddy.
Oh, thad.
It's so great to see you,
thanks for coming by here!
Who are you?
Sammy!
You know you used to call
me mascot, or houseboy!
I wore the goat suit!
I'd go, "go team, go."
I was out there.
There was someone
in that thing?
Hey, back off.
Oh, no, it's okay I'm just
talking to my friend.
Oh, your friend?
I don't think
he knows you man.
Well...
I don't know you.
I've never met you.
I have.
I just don't remember you.
I don't think so.
I have met you, your face
isn't ringing a bell.
I've never met you
in my life bro.
Okay. Thad.
Are you ready?
I drew this thing
when I was 10.
I've been waiting for...
Thirteen. Thirteen years.
I was gonna say that.
All right then, let's just
step right up here.
Welcome
to thadland.
I...
Fifty-four strains
of marijuana?
Yep. And all the most
expensive in the world.
Cocaine!
United nations of cocaine.
Purest strains from
around the world.
Tested
each one personally.
Just one rule about
the cocaine room.
Guys, don't die.
Or do, who gives a shit.
More coke for me!
Boobie bomb!
Oh!
Yeah, baby!
Booze room.
Every kind of booze ever?
Yep, just pull a tap.
Woo!
My ass is getting
pounded tonight!
Hammered. Your ass
is getting hammered.
Tomato, potato, bro beans.
Is the champagne from France?
Nope. California.
Good. Everything good
comes from America.
France can suck my balls!
And here we have...
Mojito hot tub!
Well?
It's perfect, moran!
Horny?
Grab a sloot!
Thirsty? Grab a mojito!
I'm, I'm good thanks.
You haven't even seen
the best part yet!
I wanna see.
Do you wanna
see the best part?
Yeah.
Let's go see the best part.
I can't believe
i drew this.
I'm a frigging genius!
And your most genius
invention is coming,
my humble friend.
In thadland,
it always snows cocaine.
So? Thad?
What do you
have to say?
What do I have to say?
Fuck you Walt Disney,
you unimaginative
piece of shit!
This is thadland!
Hey, thad,
going to
a butcher,
ask your friends
for opinions.
Like which
of those sloots I'd bang?
That's it guys,
get him the
hell out of here.
Goat fans have spoken.
They want
Marty Daniels out.
And in other news...
Forget them.
You guys are gonna
be fine this year.
Plus, you're
not that old.
I lost my virginity
the day Kennedy died.
One more, please.
Coming right up.
I think
you're amazing.
I mean,
with everything that
you've been through,
the lawsuits,
and losing thad castle
and Craig shilo
and radon randell
and still winning.
We should
be building
your statue,
not bitching
about your age.
Would you like
to take a ride
on my motorcycle?
Ahhh. Mmm.
Mmm.
Oh, fuck me!
Alex!
Hey! What's up?
Alex, so good
to see you.
You too.
This party
is bonkers!
I just did a half
hour in the
bath-salt bubble room.
I bit like
seven people!
Working it!
Congrats!
Hey, come
with me,
I wanna show
you around!
Okay. Oh, I wanna
show you
my nipples.
Oh, okay.
Coming.
Locked and
loaded, sir.
Oh, sweet.
Hey, everybody!
Open your mouths!
Free drugs!
Ahhh! My face!
Oh, god damn it.
My face!
That's why we
have medics!
Go see a medic!
Help.
Cocaine!
Hey, welcome back.
Coach?
I just wanted to
stop by and congratulate
you on everything.
And we're really
proud of you.
Oh, yeah!
What happened
to you?
Oh, I hit
a pothole.
I was riding
my motorcycle.
And, everything's fine,
I'm okay,
everything's great.
Yeah! Yeah!
Me too!
Never been better!
We should
hangout sometime.
Definitely.
We definitely
gotta do that.
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah. Yeah.
Don't go. Don't go.
I miss you.
What?
Huh?
Oh, no.
I thought I...
No. No. No. No.
Hey uh...
Oh, wait...
I... no, I thought
you were gonna
say something else.
No, no, no.
Hey, have fun.
Take care
of yourself.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Keep training,
you look good.
Oh, yeah.
You look
great too, coach.
Very handsome.
Hey, thad.
Hey, man.
Hey, uh...
Thad, thad, thad,
thad, thad,
thad, thad,
we've got,
we've got bit
of a situation, dude.
Hit me!
What the hell
was that?
You said,
"hit me."
What the... what?
I'm sorry.
Okay, look,
i don't know what
was going on here,
but we're running
out of drugs.
The party's running
out of drugs, man.
How the hell
did that happen?
I don't know. I don't know.
Free drugs!
It makes no
sense to me, man.
Because thousands
of people are
here, okay?
I mean, half the
cocaine was reserved
for the carnivals.
But, I mean,
that was reserved.
It's called the
reserve for a reason.
We need that
for the carnival snow.
Sorry, I'm talking so fast.
I'm just really freaking out,
we need that cocaine.
Well, go get Alex
to get more drugs
and fix it! God!
Hey, I already bought
all the drugs east
of the Mississippi,
there's no
more drugs
to buy.
That's not true.
We've got drugs.
Who are you?
What? I'm...
I'm the...
I...
You know what?
It doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter.
What maters is,
you need drugs,
harmon and i
have some.
Real premium
shit too.
Amazing.
Okay. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah...
I don't
think that's
a good idea.
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, no,
no, no, no.
No, no, no,
no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You idiots go
get free drugs,
you'll be my
best friends
for life.
Well sorry, I can't.
No, no, no.
You know what? Done!
Consider it done.
Yeah, yeah we got this.
No, I'm not.
Thank you so much,
we'll get this buddy.
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.
I trust this guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Me too, me too, me too.
I told you it's
a bad idea, man.
How much more
of this shit do we
have to put up with?
What shit?
The titty-whapping,
the groping.
I mean, sure,
it's paying for
my doctorate
in applied physics,
but I don't know if
i can keep doing this.
You're in this
for the money?
You gold
digging bitch!
I love thad.
I love him!
I wouldn't drink
that if I were you.
Why not silly bear?
It's free booze.
I can think
of a reason.
Whoops!
Whoa, there it is!
I know.
Whoa, there it is!
I've got
your wiener.
I know.
Alex!
Hi.
Hi. I just saw
a woman deep
throat a 40.
Really?
Mmm-hmm, a full 40.
You should go find her.
I am going to
go find her
and Sammy.
Have you
seen Sammy?
No, he's not
in the tub.
This is true.
I'm gonna go
find Sammy.
Bye. Bye.
Don't touch that.
Why not?
Oh, this is awesome!
How long has this
been down here for?
Built it my
freshman year.
It's nothing compared
to my cousin Dennis'
set up back home.
Holy shit, what is this,
like steel or something?
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Don't touch that.
Don't breath on it,
don't even look at it.
My cousin Dennis
blew up his trailer
just by sneezing
on a tank.
Oh, man,
that means it must
be powerful. Yes!
Thad is gonna love
this then he's gonna
remember my name!
Oh, yes!
Hey look at me.
This isn't a
typical drug, okay.
It's highly unstable.
Yeah, well,
I'm highly unstable
too, my friend.
That's why
i brought Billy.
I figure,
you know,
test it on
him first,
see if he
can handle it.
Animal testing,
Sammy?
Once again,
not a good idea.
You know what?
It's fine.
Billy's a little
fucking asshole.
So whatever
happens to him,
happens to him.
Oh, yeah.
Look at his eyes.
Oh, he's
loving this.
You like
that, Billy?
Huh? "Oh, no.
I can't handle
my drugs."
"I can't handle
my drugs."
There you go.
Get your
balloons here!
Hey, man,
i really think
we should have
gone with
a lower dose.
Dude, relax, okay?
Billy's fine.
We're all good.
Oh, shit,
there's thad.
Thad, thad,
thad, thad. Listen.
Uh, here's the
drug I was
telling you about.
This?
Yeah, yeah.
Just suck on it,
you'll love it.
This better
be good.
Oh, it will be.
I'll devour
your soul!
It's perfect.
Dick dawg, write this
guy a check.
Oh. No, no,
no need
for payment.
I, uh...
All I need from
you is, uh...
Fiendship. Just,
you know,
remember what my
name and stuff.
How about
a hot sloot instead?
Well, that'll work.
Yeah. It's good.
Tina!
Tina. Hey.
Tina, this is...
Sammy.
And, uh...
Sammy.
This is Tina.
Uh, Tina,
would you mind
showing, uh...
Sammy.
Upstairs and
showing him
a good time?
Okay.
Thank you so much.
Thank you. Ahhh!
Let's go!
Ahhh! Thank you
so much, thad!
I really appreciate.
Thank you, Tina!
You're the best!
Oh, lets go
look at the
pretty white pony
with the
golden horn.
Let's do that, huh?
Want one?
No, thanks.
Hey, don't worry
about her, okay?
It's just a thing.
Just a thing?
I invited
her tonight
to specifically
turn her into
a dyke.
And he can't
keep his
hands off her.
Dude, come on.
You're not mad at him,
you're mad at her.
She's taking
Alex away
from you.
This so reminds
me of my dad.
Um.
He loved horses.
Oh, okay.
I don't know
what you think
is going on
between me
and Alex,
but I like pussy.
No, no.
I love pussy.
Yeah,
i love pussy!
Woo-hoo!
Woo!
Yeah, but before
that you didn't.
And you were
into Alex.
And you
know what,
I don't think
you're gay.
You're college gay.
Which is
totally different.
You're just
killing time
with women.
Okay, now I am
offended. Yeah.
You are
offending me
right now.
What makes you think
you know the first
thing about my gayness?
Well. I'm gay.
What?
Since when?
Since forever.
I just never say
anything about it
because no one
ever asks.
But yeah...
I'm gay.
No way.
Awesome.
Thad. Thad,
it's not
a big deal, okay?
It's a personal
thing and I'd
really appreciate
if we could keep
it that way.
Donnie, absolutely.
Totally agree.
Thank you.
Hey, everybody!
Donnie's gay!
Hey. Seriously, man.
Congratulations, dude.
You're gonna
get so much dick.
Hey, harmon.
Donnie's a gay guy!
I know that.
Again, thad,
it's never been
a big deal.
Let's keep it
that way. Okay?
How's this for
not a big deal?
I'm gonna buy
you a car,
you brave bastard.
Dick dawg,
write this gay
guy a check!
Fuck yeah!
It's for the
whole gay
thing, man.
Congrats.
I'm gonna shove
so many things
up your ass.
Let me put it
to you this way,
you can drive
a fucking
Cadillac up there,
just as long as
i get to have
sex with you after.
Wow. Um...
There's the pool
stick downstairs,
i could try it.
Uh, yeah.
That sounds great.
Why don't you give
me another hit
and then run that
- cute little butt of yours downstairs and grab it.
- Okay?
Okay.
Mmm.
I'll be
right back.
Oh, yes. Go!
Tina, I love you.
Sammy,
we're gonna need
more balloons.
You're right,
people are
going nuts for...
Billy!
Oh, shit!
Oh, shit!
Thad, thank you
so much for
this opportunity.
Leave the
lot to me.
Thank you
so much.
Tina!
Tina, is that you?
Okay, well,
i hear walking,
I wanna hear
some running, okay?
Get over
here, Tina.
Whoa.
Uh, all right.
All right.
Oh! Wow! Wow!
That felt very nice.
You are a dirty girl,
Tina. Dirty girl.
Oh, go easy...
Go easy...
Easy...
Nice and slow.
All right, finish it up
so I can have sex with you,
okay?
Sammy! I'm ready
if you are!
Tina!
Billy! Bad Billy!
That's a bad goat.
Bad goat, Billy!
Bad goat, Billy!
Bad goat!
Hey, everybody!
Listen up.
I have a very important
announcement to make.
Donnie schrab is gay!
Not a big deal
everybody.
So you know,
I don't know,
buy him a drink...
Or if you're a guy,
suck his dick
or whatever.
But it's great.
Let's party!
Hey, are you feeling
a little overshadowed
by all this?
I mean, a cheerleader
comes out as gay
and no one
bats an eye.
But when
a football player does,
suddenly
he's the hero?
Mary Jo, wait!
Do you have
any blueberry waffles
because I'm super-duper
starving right now.
Is that a yes?
Mary Jo! Ah...
Oh, shit.
The auction!
Where did he...
- Thad!
- Billy!
Billy!
Oh, hey, Sammy,
Sammy.
Have you seen Billy?
Nope. I have not
seen Billy.
And those balloons,
not good.
Yeah I told you that.
You okay?
Me? Totally fine.
Never been better,
never been better.
There we go.
Oh, there we go.
Officer.
We're going to shut
this party down.
I'm sorry, Dean, mate.
I can't let you in.
Thad castle and Alex moran
made a very
significant donation
to our benevolent fund.
They specifically asked
that we not let you
into the house.
Fine! They want to play
like that?
We sell this house
right here,
right now!
Auctioneer, bidders,
right now.
Thad!
Thad!
Thad!
Round and round
he goes!
Where he stops
nobody knows!
Okay, Barbara,
you have to take
a jell-o shot
and make out
with jeanine
for five seconds.
Okay.
Oh, my god!
- Oh, my god!
- Thad!
Okay. Thad,
it's midnight, okay?
The auction
is happening
right now.
We need to go.
Uh...
We're playing
spin the thad-dle,
page twenty-one
of the book.
I know what it is!
I'm the one
who set it up for you,
like I said I would.
Okay, great!
So you know
how important
this is to me.
Spin me!
Yay!
Thad,
saving the goat house
is the whole reason
i agreed to throw this party
oh, my gosh!
In the first place.
I can't take this
anymore.
We don't have time
for this, moran!
Debbie, do a line of coke
off Nancy's knockers and...
- Spin me!
- No, no, no.
Don't spin,
don't spin.
Yay!
Never stop spinning me!
Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you for coming.
We're putting up
for auction
this piece
of real estate.
We'll start
the bidding
at $150,000.
Do I hear
$150,000?
One-fifty right here.
Looking for 175, 175.
Do I hear 200?
Do I hear two?
$200,000.
Your reign here
is over, Mr. moran.
It's best to step away
gracefully.
We have 240 right here.
Looking for 250.
240,000
going once...
Shit!
240,000 going twice...
Three million!
Son, the current bid
is $240,000.
Oh...
Maybe you should
make it three and a half
million dollars.
Okay, $3.5 million
going once...
Four million dollars!
Thad, you don't have to
outbid yourself.
Five million dollars!
Oh, my god.
Fine, $5,000,000
going once,
$5,000,000
going twice.
Oh, yeah!
Yeah, nice try.
I'd have to be a real idiot
to pay more than $5,000,000
for this piece
of shit house.
Sold for $5,000,000.
To the oiled up man
in the white,
furry slippers.
Woo-hoo!
- They cannot do that!
They can't do this.
He bid for it
fair and square.
Oh, sorry, deany.
This castle
is very well protected.
Officer, would you escort
the Dean off of my property,
please.
You don't know
who you're messing with,
moran.
All right,
let's go.
I will bring the thunder!
And you, Daniels!
Daniels! I come
for you next!
I know
what really happened.
You're a drunk!
All right.
Everybody back inside.
Let's party!
Oh, my god!
I did it!
Oh! I finally got
my goat house back!
What did you
just say?
Hmm?
Oh, thank you.
You really helped me
out here, man.
I got my goat house back.
Your house?
Yeah.
God...
This has never been
about me, has it?
It's always been
about you.
Alex moran this.
Alex moran that.
Well,
guess what, moran,
newsflash.
Newsflash.
Dick dawg.
Escort this selfish jerk
off my property.
What?
Then write yourself
a check.
Fuck yeah!
Hey, thad!
You can't do this.
You can't kick me
out of my own house.
It's not your house
anymore, cock tease!
All right!
First one to bring me
a mojito
wins a whap session
in the ham sandwich room!
Hey, man,
balloon?
Thank you.
I invited you here,
you said yes,
so why aren't
we hanging out?
Wait,
I'm confused.
Do you or do you not
have blueberry waffles
because
I'm starving.
Hey!
No.
What?
Get out
of here.
No.
You're not invited
into this conversation.
Okay. I think I get
why you're pissed at me,
but Holly is not gay.
And you can't
turn her gay.
Is that right?
Yeah, that's right.
Did you know
you can eat bark?
Whoa! Your tongue
is bonkers.
All right.
All right.
Okay.
There it is.
Alex, your lips
are sick.
Thank you.
Hmm?
Your tongue
really is bonkers.
Why didn't I remember...
Why didn't you remember what?
Holy shitballs.
Are you guys...
Fuck a duck.
Alex.
Hmm?
Why didn't we
ever talk about it?
We hooked up,
it was good
and then...
I... I liked you.
But you said
that you were gay.
I was a sophomore.
That's what
sophomore girls do.
Freshman year
we're drunk and slutty.
Sophomore year
we experiment
with our sexuality.
Junior year
we start caring about school,
and senior year
anything goes.
It's called
the college experience.
This is my last year
of college.
And I can't...
I can't have a girlfriend.
And you shouldn't.
But if you do...
It should be me.
Oh, my god.
Are we all
gonna do it?
What is going
on here?
I think
they're trying
to fuck.
So...
What's going on here?
I think these guys
are trying to fuck
and those guys
are talking about it.
Beer's inside?
Houseboy!
Get your ass in here,
houseboy!
Houseboy!
I need more olives
for my Martini,
god damn it!
Thad?
He can't hear you.
Why not?
You're looking at
15 years in the future.
You're serious?
Fifteen years
in the future
thad is living
in the goat house?
Oh, no,
he never left.
You know, uh, thadland
became thad world
and, uh, he's been here
ever since.
Houseboy!
And you're living
with him?
Me? Oh, no, no, no.
I am long gone.
Long gone.
I, uh, I died
at thadland.
Fell off the Ferris wheel
jerking off.
You died?
Houseboy!
Wait, then
who's houseboy?
Sorry, bro-beans.
I was polishing
your trophies.
Also, your car
is washed,
your laundry's done,
and your chrome
pocket pussy
is all buffed up
and ready to go.
No way.
Yeah. Yeah,
and you're fat, too.
What?
No, no, no.
No way
that is happening.
You made this happen.
You should be pumped!
I mean, yes,
you sacrificed everything
that was good in your life
along the way
but you got
your goat house
and you and thad
are happy living here.
What, what about,
what about Mary Jo?
She, uh,
she couldn't
wait around.
I'm real sorry
i got in the way
of your sneeze
there, boss.
That's bullshit.
No. You want to know
what's bullshit?
Toilet duty
in heaven.
Jesus says
if I don't clean
the toilets by 6:00,
he's gonna give me
a spanking.
Jesus spanks you?
Well, it's more like
a tickling thing,
but either way
i just don't like it.
See you
around, pal.
Houseboy, my hemorrhoid
needs cleaning!
Wait, Sammy!
We got to fix this.
You're on your own.
I don't want to
get spanked.
Sammy!
Coming, Jesus!
Sammy! Sammy!
What the fuck?
Sammy!
Mary Jo?
Hey!
Hey! Yes!
Thank you so much
for stopping.
Shilo?
Ooh! Alex moran.
What the hell
are you doing
out here, man?
You look nuts.
It's a long story, man.
Where are we?
I gotta get back
to the goat house.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That's where I'm going!
Hop in, man.
To thadland!
I can't believe
you guys didn't invite me!
Thadland?
Mmm-hmm.
That was last night.
It's over.
Oh, no, no, no.
I've been seeing
the commercials
all weekend long.
Commercials?
Biggest, baddest party
of all time.
They've got games
and rides
and a contest
for the best abs.
Now let me ask you.
Who's taking home
that prize?
Uh...
Go ahead.
Touch it.
I'd rather not.
No, no, no.
No, I'm good.
They're just amazing abs.
They're not gonna bite you.
Wait, what day
is it today?
It's Monday.
No fucking way.
Do you like fun?
Do you like excitement?
Well, we... well, then
come on down to thadland!
We've got lots
of that kind of stuff!
Whoo!
I'm thad castle!
And whether
it's bouncing with sloots...
Whoo-hoo!
Or sweet beach
on a Ferris wheel.
It even snows
cocaine here!
Here's fun facts
about thadland.
It was created three days ago.
Our only currency is checks.
And we're open 23/7,
nine days a week,
385 days a year.
So round up your bro-beans
and come on down to the place
where the fun never ends!
Fuck you, Walt Disney!
This is thadland!
This is disgusting.
What happened
to the party?
It's right here?
Hey, ladies.
Check out these abs.
This fucking
tastes so bad.
Sammy...
Alex!
Holy shit, man.
You know, people think
that you're fucking dead.
I'm not dead.
I'm right here.
What is going on here?
Thadland.
It's been going on
for quite some time.
You know, these fucking
crazy guys,
are so much fun,
it's amazing.
God, this is
all my fault.
Yeah. Oh, shit, man.
Do you want some food?
I feel weird.
Do you want some?
No, I...
Is that?
Yeah, things got
a little weird
between Billy and I.
You know, uh,
he bit me, so uh,
I'm biting him.
Jesus, Sammy.
This, this has to end.
Where's thad?
I haven't seen thad
in a little while.
But get this.
Just yesterday,
he almost remembered
my name.
Oh, good.
He called me, "biscuit."
Which, you know, to me
is pretty close.
You know,
cause it's like...
Sam-my!
I know, it's...
Bis-cuit!
It's not really
that close at all.
If you think about it,
and you sound it out.
Biscuit's like tomato.
I'm gonna go find thad.
You just enjoy it.
Biscuit!
What the fuck.
Donnie!
Donnie!
Hey! Radon,
stop the ride!
It's just that,
all it would take
is one of you to show me
respect as a coach
and not just your friend
and everyone else
would be on board.
No. It's not
like that, dude.
We respect you.
Really?
Hey, coach
summers, fuck you!
- Not cool, man!
- Donnie!
I'm so glad
i found you.
Yeah, thad,
what's with the bracelets?
You don't like them?
It's just I asked you
not to make a big deal
out of this
and instead you manufactured
thousands of bracelets
and handed them out
to everyone here.
You're welcome,
bro-beans.
Hey, thad. Congrats
on all your success.
Dick dawg!
Dick dawg,
get over here.
I got something
you're gonna love. Watch.
Watch where
you're stepping, dude.
Go ahead.
Open it.
I think I can tell
what it is, thad.
Open it!
Open it!
Yeah. Yeah!
I bought you a guy.
I can see that.
Go ahead.
Whap his dick around.
Whap, whap.
I'd rather not,
thad.
What's the matter,
you don't like him?
No. I do,
he, he's great.
He's already paid for.
Whap him.
Look, I'll do it.
Watch.
Whap. Whap,
whap, whap.
Whap, whap, whap,
whap, whap,
whap, whap, whap,
whap, whap, whap,
whap, whap, whap,
whap, whap, whap.
Whap it. I'll leave
you two alone.
You're welcome,
bro-beans.
Dick dawg!
Have fun, man.
Sorry about them.
I'm frank.
I'm Donnie.
I'm gonna go.
Coach Daniels!
So glad
you could make it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But what the hell
is this all about?
Just a friendly
little gathering
where I reveal to the world
the kind of person
you really are.
I'm sorry.
Like when
they steal my hat
and then laugh at me,
it hurts.
You know,
i put on a brave face,
but I'm a real human being.
Human beings
means people.
Exactly.
And like...
Larry,
i need you.
Alex, come play with me
in the bath tub.
Maybe another time.
Larry, I need
your help right now.
I need you to round up
the whole team
and meet me out front, okay?
Very funny.
Come on, man.
I'm serious, Larry.
Coach summers.
This party is over.
Round 'em up.
Don't do this,
moran.
We need you
right now, coach.
Round up this team
right now.
Man, I...
Round 'em up!
No.
Round 'em up,
coach summers!
Not you too.
Round 'em up!
Not you too.
Round 'em up!
Round 'em up!
Get out of there!
Get of there,
coach summers! Yeah!
I'll see you
out front.
Mountain goats...
Round up!
Check out this guy.
He's been asleep
for, like, two hours.
I can't wake him up.
Holly,
where is Mary Jo?
She's with Chad.
Who?
Chad. You know,
like chadland?
Right over there.
Giddy-up!
To the stables!
Holy shit!
Marco!
Marco!
I just want to say
that in spite
of all the rumors,
I was not drunk
when I crashed
my motorcycle.
And furthermore...
You know what?
That was a lie.
I was drunk.
In fact,
I'm a little drunk
right now.
I was hammered
when I crashed
my motorcycle,
and I was just
about to have
an enchanted moment
with this girl,
who happens to be
a very wonderful person.
So, you can all go
fuck yourselves.
And go goats.
Well, alrighty then.
Let's open it up
for questions, shall we?
Coach! Coach!
Julia king from can.
What can you tell us
about your feelings
on thadland?
Have you been?
And can you comment
on thad castle's open bashing
of the late Walt Disney?
He's called him,
and I quote,
"a short, anti-semite...
"With less imagination
in his whole
"Jew-hating body
than I have in the tip
of my pee-hole."
He said "pee-hole?"
He did.
Well, you know,
I don't think
any of those allegations
were proven
to be true.
So I don't want to
comment on Mr...
What about the drug
use at thadland?
Why does thad castle
hate the French?
That's the question
you idiots have?
Thadland?
Ask him
about the drinking.
Ask him
about the driving.
The accident
with the little chick.
Ask him some
of this stuff. What?
Coach!
Oh, yeah,
this is great.
Can wear you
all the way to...
Sammy!
Alex! Holy shit,
what's up, buddy?
I really need
your help.
I need you to sneak me
back into the goat house.
Why?
Oh, my god, that's right,
'cause you're banished!
Hey, everybody,
Alex is back!
Whoo! We gotta keep it
down though.
We gotta keep it down.
But I can help you out.
Follow me.
Follow me, pal.
You're not gonna
believe this.
I fucking, I ate
basically the whole goat.
Did you boil it?
Oh, yeah.
Thad is pissed
at you.
He's declared
your name
a swear word.
Actually it's pretty cool
if you ask me.
Why is that cool?
At least he knows
your name.
Harmon, you got
a visitor, buddy.
Alex, you're alive.
I thought you were dead
or something.
I almost was,
thanks to your balloons.
This drug affects
different people
in different ways.
Me, I grew up
on the stuff.
It was like formula to me
when I was a baby.
What is it?
Don't ask yourself
a question
that you don't want
the answer to.
Just go on back
up to the party
and enjoy yourself.
Harmon. What is
in your balloons?
It's shit.
It's not shit...
It's jenkum.
Okay, what the fuck
is jenkum?
Shit.
It's not...
He said
shit again.
Shit.
It's poop fumes
and pee fumes.
It's very popular
in the south.
See, what I've done
here is
I've rerouted
these sewer pipes
into this steel tank.
And then whenever
anyone uses the facilities,
it collects here
where it's allowed to ferment
at a very high temperature.
Then it's simply a matter
of filling these balloons
with the fermented fumes,
et voila.
This stuff will knock you
straight on your ass.
Which is ironic
considering
that's where it all started
in the first place.
Please tell me
you're kidding.
No.
We've been down
here for days
messing around
with different
temperatures,
more poop, less pee,
more pee, less poop...
No, no, no.
This experiment
ends right now.
I lost two days
of my life to this shit!
And dignity.
Stop huffing that!
Jesus Christ!
Shut it down,
harmon.
No, no, no,
what about thad?
Forget thad!
This is my house.
And I'm your captain.
Now shut it down,
harmon.
Shut it down.
Consider it done,
captain.
Have you seen thad?
Thad's upstairs.
Are you
an assassin?
Thad?
You can't kill me.
I'm not killable.
I'm not here
to kill you.
I'm here to tell you
that this party is over.
Guys, I have no time
to explain.
You don't want to be
sucking on those balloons.
Trust me.
What balloons?
These balloons?
Please stop.
Thad, stop doing that.
Thad, stop!
Thank you.
Hey, hey.
Don't let him
do that.
What do you care?
You got
what you wanted.
The house is safe.
I do care,
all right?
And I don't know
if what happened
between us
was real or not,
but I meant every word
i said to you.
Then prove it.
Hey!
Enough!
This is about me!
Not you a-holes!
Okay, let's talk
about you.
How about we start with
what the hell is going on.
You were a number one
draft pick in the NFL.
Why aren't you
at practice?
And what do you
even want with my house?
Let's not do this
again, senor.
Officer, I carry
in my possession
information
which may interest you
and your tiny
little benevolent fund.
I didn't catch
any of that.
Look at the papers!
I need all available units
to blue mountain
state campus.
All available units.
There goes
the department
booze cruise.
Argh!
Thad, we were teammates
for three years.
You've got to trust me.
What is happening?
This may come
as a surprise to you,
but I'm not the super smart
Alan Einstein that
everyone thinks I am.
No. Don't say that.
If I told you the truth,
you'd think
i was the biggest idiot.
Never.
I'm not going pro.
What?
Wait, I saw
the draft, thad.
We all
saw the draft.
Now you're mad at me.
I knew you'd get mad at me.
I'm not mad at you.
Yes, you are.
The draft was real,
and the contract
was real,
but then,
I bought a zoo...
And I was messing around
with that big animal
with the horn
growing out of its face.
A rhinoceros?
Sure.
And the stupid thing
stabbed me
with his stupid horn.
My coach found out
and they canceled
my contract.
No, no, no,
stop stop stop!
What?
How long have
you known about this?
Since the day before you
and I met at that restaurant.
Wha...
So this, this book...
This, this, this dream,
it was all a lie?
I drew that the night
before I gave it to you.
I imagined a party
in my honor.
A place that was safe
and warm
and I'd never ever
ever ever leave.
You motherfucker!
What the...
Holy shit!
Actually,
that's a lie too.
I didn't draw
those pictures.
I traced them.
So you knew
your contract was void?
How did you
pay for all this?
Checks.
But they weren't real.
I just ordered them online.
You have no money?
Who else knows
about this?
Just me and dick dawg
and the Dean.
Olivares knows
about this?
How does he know?
Dick dawg told him.
Why would he
do that, thad?
Because I told him to.
Oh, my god!
Oh, my god!
Are you gonna
help me?
I'm in real
deep shit.
I started my
own sneaker line,
for Christ sake.
I made my own
hall of fame jacket.
I can't face them.
I'd rather be dead.
Is that what this
is all about?
This?
This drawing.
Tracing.
Tracing in your book.
It's you?
In heaven.
No. No way.
Yes.
Absolutely not.
Yes.
No, I'm not
doing it. No.
Yes, you have to!
I'm not doing it.
That's the deal!
You have to help me!
I bought you
this house!
Technically you didn't!
But goddammit!
Shhh!
Thad?
Yes.
If I help you
out of this...
Yes?
All debts are paid.
I owe you nothing.
Deal.
All right. Shit!
I got a plan.
Shit.
I'm gonna
need dick dawg.
Shit! Goddamn it!
Shit.
Ohhh!
Well!
Jesus Christ!
If it isn't the guy
i don't remember.
Oh, god,
why are
you naked?
Wait, what's
on your head?
Oh, I'm wearing
the last guy who
tried to mess with me.
What the fuck do
you think you're
doing down here
in my lab, pal?
None of your
business, pal.
None of my
fucking business?
Well, down here...
This is fucking
Sammy's world, pal.
Who is Sammy?
It's me! I'm Sammy!
You listen to me,
and you listen
to me good...
You touch another
valve on my fucking
jug right here,
you're fucking
going down, buddy.
Oh, no, no.
Wait wait. Is that?
Yeah.
Ok, um.
You don't wanna?
Don't you...
You don't wanna...
Eh, no...
Oh, I shouldn't...
Hey, I swear...
If I were you...
If I were
to do that?
Oh, wow!
Whoo! I don't know
if that was such
a good idea.
Oh, god,
i really don't wanna
fight you, okay, man?
So, the plan...
What do i
do again?
Oh, my god!
This is the police,
open up!
Whoa! God!
Whoa!
Shots fired!
Oh, god! Oh!
Christ,
you keep that thing loaded?
Why would I have
an unloaded gun?
Mama!
Oh, yeah!
Ahhh!
Ahhh! Hey!
Oh, right in the eyes.
Look, we really don't
have time to
fight right now.
Oh, okay, yeah,
you don't wanna
fucking fight this?
Ugh!
Oh, gosh!
Ugh!
You're showing
a tremendous amount
of heart right now.
I admire
your tenacity,
i really do.
But, every pipe
in this place is
about to explode.
You need to
just give up
already, all right?
Get outta here.
Jesus!
Okay, okay.
How's this for
a fucking explosion?
Get your dick
off my back!
Get your back
off my dick!
What the fuck
was that?
Oh, god!
Oh, no!
Oh, what the
fuck, man!
Holy shit!
Are you sure
you wanna go
through with this?
It's the
only way!
Make sure you
tell people
my story.
I don't think
that'll be
a problem!
Let's go!
Oh! Get off me.
What's happening?
Hey, you gotta
get outta here,
man, right now.
I don't wanna die
fighting a naked guy.
Come on!
Truce!
All right, truce.
Hey, you fight like
a goddamn champion.
Oh, shoot,
look at that. Shit!
What?
Get back!
Holy shit.
The lab.
The beer.
Alex, your house.
It was just
a house.
I did it! I did it!
I win!
I am the coach!
The house
is gone!
It's okay, captain.
I got this one.
Dean olivares,
you need some air.
Here. Deep breaths.
Got it?
Everything?
Julia king?
Thank you,
good man.
My pleasure.
Good day
to you, sir.
Hello, there.
Hi.
Could you tell us
about what happened
here today?
I...
Baby and baby...
Hey, baby. Hey, baby.
Hey, wait.
Where's thad?
He, uh,
he didn't make it.
So sad!
At least he went
out the way
he wanted to.
Partying like
a mother fucker,
ain't nothin'
wrong with that.
Blaze of glory.
The man was
a hero.
He was a legend.
To thad!
To thad!
Then why
can't I taste any?
You telling me
there's lime in this,
I can't taste
a goddamn
ounce of it!
Now get back there!
You go back there
and you tell
that bartender,
I need
lime in all
my mojitos!
Go! Run!
Oh, wait.
Wait, never mind!
I can taste
the lime now!
It was hidden
under all the mint!
Come back,
i can taste it!
Sammy!
Sammy, wake up.
Come on, man.
Come back to me.
Sammy,
come on, buddy.
Wake up!
Dick dawg?
It's me, pal.
Yeah, you're gonna
be okay.
Were you saying
my name before?
What? No. No. Nope.
You did.
You said Sammy.
Whatever you
say, chief.
No.
Sammy.
You said Sammy.
You're okay,
sport. All right?
Just lay back
down, bucko.
Say Sammy.
Say Sammy.
Shh!
You said Sammy.
I fucking heard you.
You're gonna be
okay, tiger.
Sammy!
Sammy.
I'm not actually
saying it.
You said Sammy!
That's just you
moving my lips.
Dick dawg, say it,
you fucking
piece of shit.
You inhaled a little
too much shit fumes.
You fucking asshole!