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Blues Brothers, The (1980)
The assistant warden wants this one
out of the block early. Wants to get it over with fast. Okay. Let's do it. Hey, wake up. It's time. Wake up. Let's go. It's time. This is it. - What wing? - Maximum wing, Block 9. Standard release? Parole, three out offiive. Good behaviour. Give me a minute. One Timex digital watch, broken. One unused prophylactic. One soiled. Boots, black. Belt, black. One black suitjacket. One pair black suit pants. One hat. Black. One pair sunglasses. Twenty-three dollars and seven cents. Sign here. - What's this? - What? This car. This stupid car. Where's the Cadillac? The Caddy. Where's the Caddy? The what? The Cadillac we used to have. The Bluesmobile. I traded it. - You traded the Bluesmobile for this? - No, for a microphone. A microphone? Okay, I can see that. - What the hell is this? - This was a bargain. I picked it up at the Mount Prospect City Police Auction last spring. It's an old Mount Prospect police car. They were practically giving them away. Well, thankyou, pal. The day I get out of prison... my own brother picks me up in a police car. You don't like it? No, I don't like it. Car's got a lot of pick-up. It's got a cop motor, a 440-cubic-inch plant. It's got cop tyres, cop suspension, cop shocks. A model made before catalytic converters... so it'll run good on regular gas. What do you say? Is it the new Bluesmobile, or what? Fix the cigarette lighter. What are we doing here? You promised you'd visit the Penguin the day you got out. Yeah. So I lied to her. You can't lie to a nun. We gotta go in and visit the Penguin. No fucking way. Who is it? Jake and Elwood. Come in. Hello, boys. Nice to see you. Please, have a seat. No, boys. Come over here in front of me. I want to see your faces. The county took a tax assessment ofthis property last month. They want $5,000. Won't the church pay? They would ifthey were interested in keeping the place. But they aren't. The archbishop wants to sell this building to the Board of Education. What will happen to you? I'll be sent to the missions-- Africa, Latin America... - Korea. - Forget it! Five grand? No problem. We'll have it foryou in the morning. Let's go. I will not take your fii lthy, stolen money! Well, then. I guess you're really up shit creek. I beg your pardon. What did you say? I offered to help you. You refused to take our money. Then I said, ''I guess you're really up shit creek.'' - Christ,Jake, take it easy, man. - Elwood! - Ow! Shit! -Jesus Christ! - Shit! -Jesus! - Shit! Goddam it! - Son ofa bitch! You fat penguin! Fuck this! You are such a disappointing pair. I prayed so hard foryou. It saddens and hurts me... that the two young men whom I raised... to believe in the Ten Commandments... have returned to me as two thieves... with fii lthy mouths and bad attitudes. Get out! And don't come back... until you've redeemed yourselves. Boys, you gotta learn not to talk to nuns that way. Curtis! - You look fii ne! - Good to see you! Buy you boys a drink? Boys, things are bad. They gonna sell this place to the Board of Education... and I'll be out on the street. That money's got to be in the Cook County Assessor's Offiice within 1 1 days. They wouldn't turn you out, would they? Shit. What's one more old nigger to the Board of Education? Curtis, you and the Penguin are the only family we got. You're the only one that was ever good to us... singing ElmoreJames tunes and blowing the harp for us down here. Well, the sister was right. You boys could use a little churching up. Slide on down to the Triple Rock... and catch Reverend Cleophus. You boys listen to what he's got to say. I don't want to listen to nojive-ass preacher... talking to me about heaven and hell. You get wise. You get to church! All I'm saying is, we got to fii gure out... some way to get that money honestly. That could be a problem. Like the Penguin says. We got to move toward redemption. We got to go to church. ''We got to move toward redemption. We got to go to church.'' Bullshit. Come on. And now, this week's sermon... is from our beloved, the Reverend Cleophus James! And now, people-- And now, people-- When I woke up this morning, I heard a disturbing sound. I said, when I woke up this morning... I heard a disturbing sound! What I heard was the jingle-jangle... ofa thousand lost souls! I'm talking about the souls of mortal men and women... departed from this life! Wait a minute! Those lost, anguished souls roaming unseen over the earth... seeking a divine light... they'll not fii nd because it's too late! Too late! Yeah! Too late for them to ever see again... the light they once chose not to follow! All right! Don't be lost when the time comes! For the day ofthe Lord cometh... as a thief in the night! Amen Say amen! - Let us all - All go back - To the old - Old landmark As we stay in the service of the Lord - Let uspreach - Preach the word - Got topreach - Preach the wordall the way Do it, knowit, feelit Jake, are you all right? Alleluia The band. Do you see the light? What light? Have you seen the light? Yes! Jesus H. Tap-Dancing Christ! I have seen the light! The band! - Praise God! - And God bless the United States! Stay in theservice ofthe Lord Yea, Lord We'll put the band back together, we do a few gigs... we get some bread. Bang-- five thousand bucks! Well, getting the band back together might not be that easy. - What are you talking about? - They split. They all took straightjobs. Yeah? So you know where they are. You said you were keeping in touch with them. I got a couple of leads, a few phone numbers. But, I mean, how many ofthem visited or even wrote you? They're not the kind of guys who write letters. You were outside. I was inside. You were supposed to keep in touch with the band. I kept asking you ifwe were gonna play again. What was I gonna do, take away your only hope? Take away the very thing that kept you going in there? I took the liberty of bullshitting you. Okay? - You lied to me. - It wasn't lies. It wasjust bullshit. - Shit. - What? - Rollers. - No. Shit. - What? What did I do? - You failed to stop at a red signal. The light was yellow, sir. May I see your license, please? Goddam it! I haven't been pulled over in six months. I bet those cops have got SCMODS. State County Municipal Offender Data System. Elwood, we show your license currently under suspension. Step out ofthe car, please. First you trade the Cadillac for a microphone. Then you lie to me about the band. Now you're gonna put me right back in thejoint! They're not gonna catch us. We're on a mission from God. We are in high-speed pursuit northbound on Courtland Avenue. Black-and-white 1 974 Dodge sedan with Illinois plates. Request assistance. We'll be all right ifwe can just get back on the expressway. This don't look like no expressway to me! Don't yell at me. What do you want me to do, motor head? Try not to be so negative all the time. Why don't you offer some constructive criticism? You got us into this parking lot, pal. Now you get us out! You want out ofthis parking lot? - Will there be anything else? - Do you have Miss Piggy? - There's pants and burgers. - Yeah, lots ofspace in this mall. Disco pants and haircuts. Baby clothes. This place has got everything. New Oldsmobiles are in early this year. Pier 1 Imports. Oh, shit! They broke my watch! I'm gonna catch that sucker... if it's the last thing I ever do. Nice place, huh? Hey, Sam. Hey, Lloyd. - Anybody call for me on the phone? - No. No calls. Some guy left his card. Cop. Said he'd be back. This here's my brother,Jake. He just got out of the joint. He's gonna be staying with me for a few weeks. Yeah. Okay. Did you get me my Cheez Whiz, boy? Well, it ain't much, but it's home. - How often does the train go by? - So often you won't even notice it. What are you doing? Making dinner. Want some? Tomorrow we got to get the band back together. I'm gonna quit work in the morning, fii rst thing. And how are you going to get to work... Mr Lead Foot, Mr Hot-Rodder, Mr Motor Head? Those cops tookyour license away. They got your name, your address. No, they don't got my address. I falsifiied my renewal. I put down 1 060 West Addison. That's Wrigley Field. I gotta hit the sack. Hey, you sleaze! My bed! This, gentlemen, is the elegant abode ofone Elwood Blues. Thanks, Mr Mercer. - I kinda like the Wrigley Field bit. - Yeah, real cute. Hi, Sam. Hi. Has my friend arrived yet? He failed to report in yesterday. I don't want trouble. Tell us where they are, and there'll be no trouble. Stand back. It's almost 9:00. We've gotta go to work. Hello, Elwood. Sit down. What's on your mind? I gotta quit. Why is that, Elwood? I'm going to become a priest. I'll call payroll and have them get your severance pay ready. - Good luck. - God bless you, sir. Thankyou. - What's this? - This is the last known address... of Bones Malone and Blue Lou Marini. The Lord works in mysterious ways. - Mrs Toronto? - Tarantino. Ma'am, do you have a Thomas Malone or Louis Marini living here? Not any more. They moved out a long time ago. I don't take in boarders any more. - May we come in, ma'am? - Please. Did they leave a forwarding address? A phone number? Did they live quietly? What were their personal habits? They were good boys... but they made a lot of racket at night. Are you the police? No, ma'am. We're musicians. Mr Man! - Yes, ma'am? - They left this card. Maybe it'll help. Thanks. Thankyou. You're marvellous. Thankyou. I'm Murph, and these are the Magic Tones. Steve ''The Colonel'' Cropper, Donald ''Duck'' Dunn... Willie ''Too Big'' Hall and Tom ''Bones'' Malone. We'll be back with the Magic Tones for the Armada Room's... two-hour disco swing party after this short break. Till then, don't you go changing. So you're out. You're free. You're rehabilitated. What's next? What's happening? What you gonna do? You got the money you owe us, mother-fucker? Let's get something straight here. The reason he got locked in the slam in the fii rst place... was for sticking up a gas station to coveryou guys. You're kidding. He pulled thatjob to pay for the band's room-service tab... from that Kiwanis gig in Coal City. - You did? - That's right. So I don't want to hear any more ofthis small-change shit. We're putting the band back together. Who here at this table can honestly say... that they played any fii ner or felt any better than they did... when they were with the Blues Brothers? You were the backbone... the nerve centre ofa great rhythm-and-blues band. You can make that live, breathe and jump again. Murph and the Magic Tones? Look at you in those candy-ass monkey suits. And I thought I had it bad inJoliet. At least we got a change in clothes. You're wearing the same shit from three years ago. Jake ain't lying, though. We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline. We'll never get that fat sound again without more horns. We'll never get Mr Fabulous. - Where is he? - Forget it. Mr Fabulous is the top maitre d' at the Chez Paul. He's pullin' down six bills a week. - Matt Murphy got married. - Where is Matt ''Guitar'' Murphy? He opened a restaurant with his old lady on Maxwell Street... and he took Blue Lou with him. You'll never get Matt and Mr Fabulous out ofthem high-paying gigs. Oh, yeah? Well, me and the Lord... we got an understanding. We're on a mission from God. Mainly French cuisine. No, sir. Mayor Daley no longer dines here. He's dead, sir. Private dining rooms are available. Oh, no. It was supposed to be fiive years. Didn't you get fiive years? No, sir, not you. And your name, sir? Rizzolo, for eight at 1 1 :30. Thankyou. Mr Fabulous, how marvellous it is to see you. - You're looking younger than ever. - Wait. You guys can't come in here. Nonsense, my dear fellow. My brother and I have come to dine... to celebrate my early release from the service ofthe state. Wait. Let's talk outside. - Let's have a cup ofcoffee outside. - Why, heavens, no. We seek a full meal and all the compliments ofthe house. Come, Elwood. Let us adjourn ourselves to the nearest table... and overlook this establishment's board offare. Good evening. Chez Paul. Wait! Hey! Sir, do you mind calling back in about fiive minutes, please? We'll have a table in a few moments. Excuse me. Give us a bottle ofyour fii nest champagne... fiive shrimp cocktails and some bread for my brother. We have a Dom Prignon '71 at $1 20. That'll be fii ne, pal. Seriously, the food here is really expensive. The soup is fucking $1 0! Let's go outside. I'll buy you a cup ofcoffee. We're putting the band back together. - Forget it. No way. - We're on a mission from God. Hold it. Hold it. What's this? Waiter? Sir? Please, waiter? Yes, sir? How are your salads? The salads are fii ne. It'sjust that we'd like to move to another table... away from those two gentlemen. Why? Have they been disturbing you? No. It'sjust that-- Well, frankly, they're offensive-smelling. I mean, they smell bad. Excuse me. I'll see if I can locate another table foryou. Thankyou. Wrong glass, sir. How much for the little girl? - The women? How much for the women? - What? I want to buy your women. Your little girl. Your daughters. Sell them to me. - Sell me your children. - Maitre d'! Cut it out. The owners are gonna ask me to call the cops. - You wouldn't do that to me, would you? - Hejust got outtaJoliet. He's on parole. You can't call the cops on him, man. - We're putting the band back together. - I said no. Absolutely not! How much foryour wife? We're putting the band back together. We need you, man. We need your horn. I really can't. We got everybody except Matt ''Guitar'' Murphy and Blue Lou. - We're getting them next. - No way. Ifyou say no, Elwood and I will come here for breakfast... lunch and dinner every day ofthe week. Okay. I'll play. You got me. Sir? White men! White women! The swastika is calling you! The sacred and ancient symbol ofyour race... since the beginning oftime. TheJew is using the black... as muscle against you. And you are left there, helpless. -Fuckyou! -What are you gonna do about it, whity? -Just sit there? - Go back where you came from! Ofcourse not! - Son ofa bitch! - You are going tojoin... with us... the members of... the American Socialist White People's Party: an organization ofdecent... law-abiding white folk... just like you. Go to hell, bastards! Go to hell! I pledge allegiance to Adolf Hitler... the immortal leader ofour race. To the order for which he stands. One great cause. Sacred and invincible. Hey, what's going on? Those bums won their court case so they're marching today. - What bums? - The fucking Nazi party. Illinois Nazis. I hate Illinois Nazis. Heil Hitler! Ten-hut! - Gruppenfuehrer! - Yes, sir! Get that car's license plate number. We're gonna kill that son ofa bitch. Come on home, babe Oh, come on home, woman Oh, come on home, pretty baby lloveyou When she walk that walk Andtalk that talk And whisperin my ear Tellme thatshe love me llove that talk That baby talk When she talk like that lcan't take it like that Come on home to me, baby Walkyour walk Talkyourtalk Talkyourtalk, baby Thankyou, ladies and gentlemen. That was ''Boom, Boom,'' a song that I wrote back in the '50s. - No, you didn't. - It was a hit. - No, you didn't. - Yes, I did. I wrote ''Boom, Boom''! I wrote ''Boom, Boom''! - Can I help you, boys? - You got any white bread? Yes. I'll have some toasted white bread, please. You want butter orjam on that toast, honey? No, ma'am. Dry. - Got any fried chicken? - Best damn chicken in the state. Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke. You want chicken wings or chicken legs? Four fried chickens and a Coke. And some dry white toast, please. You all want anything to drink with that? - No, ma'am. - A Coke. Be up in a minute. We got two honkies out there dressed like Hasidic diamond merchants. - Say what? - They look like they're from the CIA. - What they wanna eat? - The tall one wants white-bread toast. - Dry. With nothing on it. - Elwood! And the other one wants four whole fried chickens and a Coke. And Jake! Shit! The Blues Brothers! - Hi,Jake! - Matt! How you doing? - How wasJoliet? - Oh, it's bad. On Thursday night they serve a wicked pepper steak. Can't be as bad as the cabbage rolls at the Terre Haute Federal Pen. Or that oatmeal at the Cook County slammer. - They're all pretty bad. - Matt-- Me and Elwood-- we're putting the band back together. We need you and Blue Lou. Don't talk that way around here. My old lady-- - She'll kill me. - Ma'am, you gotta understand. This is a lot bigger than any domestic problems you might be experiencing. Matt, what the hell is he talking about? - Don't get riled, sugar. - Don't you ''sugar'' me! Now, you not going back on the road no more. And you ain't playing any more two-bit, sleazy dives. You're living with me now... and you're not gonna go sliding around with your white hoodlum friends. But, babes! This isJake and Elwood! The Blues Brothers! The Blues Brothers! Shit! They still owe you money, fool! Ma'am. Would it make you feel better ifyou knew... that what we're asking Matt to do is a holy thing? You see, we're on a mission from God. Don't you blaspheme in here! Now, this is my man, my restaurant... and you two are gonna walk right out that door... without your dry, white toast... without your four fried chickens... and without Matt ''Guitar'' Murphy! Now you listen to me! I love you. But I'm the man and you're the woman. And I'll make the decisions concerning my life! You better think about what you saying. You better think about the consequences ofyour actions. Shut up, woman! You betterthink Thinkabout whatyou're trying to do to me Yeah, think Letyourmindgo Letyourselfbe free Let'sgo back Let'sgo way on back when ldidn 't even knowyou, you couldn 't have been too much more than ten lain 't nopsychiatrist lain 't no doctor with degree lt don't take too much high lQ to see whatyou're doing to me You betterthink Thinkabout whatyou're trying to do to me Think Letyourmindgo Letyourselfbe free Freedom Yeah, freedom right now Hey, thinkabout it You, thinkabout it There ain 't nothingyou couldask lcouldansweryou, but l won't But l wasgonna change that, l'm not ifyou keep doing things ldon't Thinkabout whatyou're trying to do to me Damn it Letyourmindgo Letyourselfbe free People walking aroundeveryday playinggames andtaking scores Tryin 'to makepeople lose theirmind Now, be carefulyou don't loseyours You needme Andlneedyou Without each other there ain 't nothing eithercan do - Yeah, thinkabout it, baby - Whatyou trying to do to me To the bone Thinkabout it right now Oh, freedom You, thinkabout it There ain 't nothingyou couldask lcan answeryou, but l won't But l wasgonna change my mind ifyou keep doing things ldon't You needme Andlneedyou Without each other there ain 't nothing eithercan do - Thinkabout it, baby - Whatyou're trying to do to me To the bone, man Thinkabout it, baby - Yeah, right on - To the bone - Fordeepening - To the bone, fordeeps Deepening Right now Thinkabout it, yeah, yeah To the bone Fordeepening Thinkabout it To the bone Don't give me the Blues Brothers You hadbetter Stop andthinkabout it Think Let's boogie. Well, go ahead, damn it! Shit! Pardon me... but we do have a strict policy concerning handling the instruments: An employee of Ray's Music Exchange... must be present. Now, may I help you? Ray, it's me.JolietJake. I once rented some column speakers from you... for my band-- The Blues Brothers. Hey, Ray. It's me. Murph, of Murph and the Magic Tones. Remember me? I bought three Fender amps. - Oh, we sell a lot ofamplifiiers. - Not like these. They were beautiful. - Upholstered with thick, red shag. - Right! I remember now. I'll buy them all back for 350 apiece. Three fiifty? I paid 800 each not six months ago. You know-- depreciation, man. Ray, we're here to buy stuff. We need pianos, amps, mikes-- the works. Go on! Get! Breaks my heart: a boy that young going bad. Tell me a little about this electric piano. You have a good eye, my man. That's the best in the city of Chicago. - How much? - Two thousand bucks and it's yours. You can take it home with you. I'll throw in the black keys for free. Two thousand for this chunk ofshit? Come on, Ray! Really, Ray. It's used. There's no action left in this keyboard. Excuse me. I don't think there's anything wrong with the action on this piano. Well, lheardabout the fella you've been dancing with All overthe neighbourhood So why didn 'tyou ask me, baby Didn 'tyou thinklcould Well, lknowthat the bugaloo is out ofsight But theshing-a-ling's the thing tonight But ifthat wasyou andme out there, baby l wouldhave shownyou howto do it right Do it right Twisting Shake it, shake it, baby Here we go loop-de-loop Shake it out, baby Here we go loop-de-lai Bendover Let meseeyoushakeyourtailfeather Come on Let meseeyoushakeyourtailfeather Come on Come on, baby Allright Do the twist Do the fly Do theswim Anddo the bird Do the duck Do the monkey Watusi And what about the frug Do the mashedpotato What about the bugaloo Oh, the Bony Maronie Come on, let's do the twist Twisting Shake it, shake it, baby Okay, man. We'll take these axes. Naturally. And as usual, I gotta take an IOU. You guys go inside. Get yourselves a bite. I've got to make a phone call. Does this phone call concern our fii rst gig? Have I ever lied to you? What are we gonna do, man? We don't got no gig. How much money you got? - I got a quarter. - That's enough for a phone call. Come on. - What are you doing? - You said we were gonna make a call. I said I was gonna make a call. Who are you gonna call,Jake? Do you remember Maury Sline? Sline? Booking agent? What about him? He got us some good showcases in the old days. He got us the Morgan Park. He got us the Ticktock. I got him laid. He owes me. Give it a shot. There's got to be at least seven dollars' worth ofchange here. Sir. - What did you fii nd out? - Okay. I called a friend at the Motor Vehicle Department. That license plate is like a rash all over the computer. The car belongs to a known traffiic menace. - What's his name? - His name is Elwood Blues. He's got a record a mile long. And he's a Catholic. - Did you get his address? - Ofcourse. Let's go. Anybody with that kind of record is gonna make a mistake. I want all party members in the tristate district... to monitor the city, county and state police on their CBs. Mr Blues is gonna fuck up. And when he does... he better pray the police get to him before we do. We been in this car for three hours now. Where is this place? I told you it'd take a little while to get there. - What's the name ofthe place? - The name ofthe place is-- Bob's Country Bunker. - Here we are. - Bob's Country Bunker? The sign says, ''Tonight only, the Good Ole Boys.'' Blues Brothers! It should read, ''Tonight only... the Blues Brothers' triumphant return.'' Must be some kind of mistake. You guys unload the stuff. Elwood, come with me. What can I get you boys? You thirsty, hungry orjust driving through? Maybe you'd like a beer or something a little harder? We happen to make the state's best pepper steak. No, thankyou, ma'am. We may be sucking back a few beers later on. We'll be here all night. You see, we're the band. You are? Gee, that's nice! Hey, Bob, this is the band! All right! What kind of music do you usually have here? We got both kinds. We got country and western. Jake, are you sure this is the place? Yeah, sure. This is the place. - Hi! You the Good Ole Boys? - That's us! The rest ofthe band's in the parking lot getting our stuff. Well, I'm sure glad to have you boys here. I'm Bob and this here is my place. Well, it's a beautiful place, Bob! I guess you wanna get your steel guitars and everything set up on stage. Claire, get up and turn those stage lights on and get these boys going. Chicken wire? What do you say we have a sound check? Excuse me, sonny. I'll give this to you. You're the tallest one. Okay. What is it? That there is a list ofthe songs... that you boys will be playing tonight. I don't think we know any ofthe songs on this list. This list doesn't mean anything. They'rejust requests. Do our regular set. First tune. ''Give Me Some Loving.'' One, two-- One, two, three, four. Shit! What are those damn freak pecker heads playing? Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We're glad to be here tonight. We're the Good Old Blues Brothers Boys Band from Chicago. We hope you'll like our show. I'm Elwood. This is my brotherJake. Well, my temperature's rising Andmy feet on the floor Crazypeople knockin ' 'Cause they wantsome more Let me in, baby ldon't know whatyougot Bettertake it easy 'Cause thisplace is hot Andl'm soglad we made it That ain't no Hank Williams song! Give mesome loving Get off the stage! Everyday Why'd they turn off the lights? - Maybe they blew a fuse. - I don't think so. Those lights are off on purpose. We gotta fii gure out something these people like, and fast! I got it. Remember the theme from ''Rawhide''? Old favourite. Rowdy Yates. - What key? - ''A.'' Good country key. ''Rawhide'' in ''A.'' Rollin ', rollin ' Though thestreamsare swollen Keep them dogies rollin ' Rawhide Through rain and windand weather Hell-bent forleather Wishin 'mygal wasby myside All the things l'm missin ' Good vittles, love andkissin ' Are waiting at the endofmy ride - Move 'em on - Head 'em up - Head 'em out - Move 'em on - Move 'em on - Head 'em up Rawhide Cut 'em out Ride 'em in Cut 'em out Ride 'em in, rawhide Theme from the TV show ''Rawhide.'' Thankyou. We'd like to do a favourite ofthe horn section. We hope it's one ofyours. Sometimes it's hard to be a woman Giving allyourlove Tojust one man Andifyou love him Oh, beproudofhim 'Cause afterall He'sjust a man Standbyyourman Give him two arms to cling to Andsomething warm to come to When nights are coldandlonely Standbyyourman Andtell the worldyou love him Keep giving all the loveyou can Standbyyourman Standbyyourman Andshowthe worldyou love him Keep giving all the loveyou can Baby Standby Yourman Well, folks, it's time to callit a night. But do whatyou feel, andkeep both feet on the wheel. You don't have togo home butyou can't stay here. So, tillnext time.: - Move 'em on - Head 'em up - Head 'em up - Move 'em on Rawhide - Cut 'em out - Ride 'em in - Ride 'em in - Cut 'em out Ride 'em in, rawhide Let's get the hell out of here. Shit, I wanna tell you, that's some ofthe best goddam music we've had... at the Country Bunker in a long time. Well, sorry we couldn't remember ''The Wreck ofthe Old 97.'' Why, hell! You guys can learn it next time when you come back. Bob, about our money for tonight. That's right. Two hundred dollars... and you boys drank $300 worth of beer. When we fii rst came in... the bar lady never charged us for the fii rst round. So, like, we fii gured beer was complimentary for the band. Well, I'll just go out and take up a collection from the boys. I sure would appreciate it. I say this trip is nowhere, man. I say we gotta quit. What? Quit? I wish you guys would make up your mind. Otherwise I gotta call Mr Ronzini at the Holiday Inn to get our old gig back. Back at the Armada Room? Listen, they want us to pay for the beer we drank. So you'd better split. The next gig is gonna be dynamite! Huge! You'll see. I say we give the Blues Brothers just one more chance. Why not? Ifthe shit fiits, wear it! Scoot over, goddam it! Boys look a little upset. Hey, man. Don't worry. We got a couple ofdays. We'll get the Penguin's tax money. I mean, look. We got an appointment to see Mr Sline tomorrow. Everything's gonna be all right. Let's skate. Goddam it. Excuse me. Are you the Good Ole Boys? That's right. I'm Tucker McElroy, lead singer, driver ofthe Winnebago. I'd like to talk to you, but we're running very late. I'mJacob Stein, American Federation of Musicians Union, Local 200. I've been sent here to see ifyou're carrying your permits. Our what? Your union cards. May I see your cards, please? Suppose we ain't got no union cards, and we go in and start playing anyway? What you gonna do about that? You gonna stop us? Stein! You gonna look funny trying to eat corn on the cob with no fucking teeth! Listen, let me talk to Bob, the owner. See ifwe can put your band on contract waivers for tonight. I don't want you to move from this spot. Just let me handle this. We'll talk to Bob. Get in the car and start her up. You know you boys owe me a lot of money for that beeryou drank! - Goddam it! - Bob, we loved playing here tonight. My brother's writing out an American Express traveller's check... to cover the bar tab. I sure would appreciate it. I'd better check up, see how he's doing. I have to sign it too. I usually sit in the car and write it out on the glove compartment lid. Need a pencil. - Were them guys from the union? - What the hell, ''union''? Those boys skipped out of here owing me a lot of money for beer. What the hell are you guys all dressed up for? We're the Good Ole Boys! You're the Good Ole Boys? ''A.F.M.'' Shit! Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail me now! I don't believe it! It's that shit-box Dodge again. The bastards are ours now! Holy shit! Boys, you in big trouble. Maury, you owe me. We'll play anywhere, anytime, for anybody. Put us in the Double Up Lounge, or the Morgan Park Theatre, or the Crystal. We always knocked them dead in thosejoints. Discos. They're all discos. Singles. Mixed singles. Gay singles. These people like to dance with each other. We are a dance band. I don't know, boys. I just don't know. Times have changed, you know what I mean? What are you guys gonna do? The same act? You wear the same farkakte suits. You'll scare people away. Don't you ever wear bluejeans orjump suits... like Wayne Cochran and the C.C. Riders? You gotta come through for us. We need 5,000 bucks fast. Five thousand bucks? Who do you thinkyou are? The Beatles? You know the size hall you gotta work to take in that kind of money? We'll fii ll any hall in the country. You guys familiar with the Palace Hotel ballroom? - Never heard of it. - Nice place up north. Built in the '40s on Lake Wazapamani. That seats 5,000. You guys fii ll that place, you can make 5,000 bucks, easy. - Book us for tomorrow night. - Hold it! Tomorrow night? A gig like that, you gotta prepare the proper exploitation. I know about that stuff. I been exploited all my life. Forget it. There's no way with you guys. Forget about it. Say, how's Mrs Sline? I might have some information she'd like to know. You blackmailing me? Ifyou wanna put it that way. Maury, we need this gig! We're on a mission from God. Get us the hall, and I guarantee we'll pack them in for miles around. What do you say? Okay. I'll get you the Palace Hotel. I'll print up show bills. I'll make the place look real pretty, okay? I don't thinkyou guys are gonna gross dollar one. But ifyou do, I want a taste ofthe gig, okay? Thanks, Maury. Let's go, boys! Listen, you boys heard me talk aboutJake and Elwood. They used to live here, just like you. And I used to sing to them, just like with you. TonightJake and Elwood are going out to sing and play... to raise money to help you children. Your lazy butts are in this too! So get up on that wagon. We're going up north to put the word on the streets. Tonight only, the fabulous Blues Brothers... Rhythm andBlues Revue... at the Palace Hotelballroom, Route 16... Lake Wazapamani. The fabulous Blues Brothers... ShowBandandRevue. There you go, boy. All right, man! Check it out! - Tonight only! - From Chicago! - The Blues Brothers. - Rhythm and Blues Revue. One night only! The fabulous-- Blues Brothers Show Band and Revue. You! On the motorcycle! You two girls! - Tellyourfriends! - Free parking. Two-dollarcovercharge only, folks! - That's a lot ofentertainment. - For two dollars. Will you please put this in the window, 'cause it's real important. Tonight only, from Chicago... the fabulous Blues Brothers... Rhythm andBlues Revue... foryourdancingpleasure. Andit's ladies'night tonight. at the Palace Hotelballroom. ''Tonight only, the Blues Brothers... genuine Rhythm and Blues Show and Revue. Palace Hotel ballroom. Tonight only.'' How we doing? So far we covered Lake, McHenry... and part of Du Page County. Good. Let's get to the gig. What is it? We're out of gas. Oh, shit. Wow! A classic. What a room! This place is gonna swing tonight. It's a fucking barn. We'll never fii ll it. We've gotta fii ll this hall tonight. A lot ofyoung children are depending on it. Young children? What do you mean? Jake and Elwood are donating the band's share ofthe door money... to pay the taxes on the St. Helen's orphanage... in Calumet City. What? - We're out of gas. - Yep. Mind ifwe fii ll her up? Nope. I said ''we're'' out of gas. Tanker truck's late. Should have been here two hours ago. It's always late on Thursdays. I guess we'll have to wait. Excuse me, sir. Yes, you. Could you fii ll it up with premium, and check under the hood? Sure. You want I should wash the dead bugs off the windshield? No. I'm in kind ofa hurry. Where in the hell are they? So maybe you'd like to come by and see the show. I'm awfully sorry, but I do have a prior dinner engagement. Thanks, Marvin. Get me Troopers Daniel and Mount. I don't see those Blues Brothers. We'll wait. Okay, you're all set. That'll be $94. Here's 95. Thankyou. Okay. And that's a dollar change. - Oh, keep the change. - Thanks. So, look. Ifyour date... don't work out tonight for any reason... there's a motel up on the interstate. Maybe we could, say, meet... around midnight? I'll think about it, Elwood, okay? Bye. Son ofa bitch! Come on! We're really late. You'd better step on it. I always like to perform for angry mobs. You can't quit now. What can they be doing? My head hurts. That Night Train's a mean wine. You'd better get bright! We got a show to do. Then we gotta fii gure out some way to collect that gate money... get it to the County Assessor's offiice as soon as they open in the morning. We want the show! Gentlemen, I'm leaving. Man, we were so close. Hey, you guys know ''Minnie The Moocher''? I knew a hooker once named Minnie Mazola. No! The song ''Minnie the Moocher.'' - Yeah. So what? - Hit it! Hey, folks, here's a story 'bout Minnie the Moocher She wasa low-down hoochie coocher She was the roughest, toughest frail But Minnie hada heart Asbig asa whale She messedaround with a bloke namedSmokey She lovedhim though he was cokey He tookherdown to Chinatown Andheshowedherhow to kick thegong around She hada dream about the King ofSweden Hegave herthings thatshe wasneedin ' Hegave hera home built ofgoldandsteel A diamondcar with theplatinum wheels This is glue. Strong stuff. What the hell are you doing? This can is from a surplus disposal run. Fifteen overcharged ounces of pure, uncompounded... isopropyl butane monosulfate. When combined with oxygen and a little heat... it will cause a rapid expansion. PoorMin, poorMin - Let's take them! - Wait a minute. I've never even heard these boys sing, all right? All right. They're not going no place. All right, cover all exits! Let's go! Come on! Hurry up! Move it! Who wants an Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips. Excuse us. Good evening, ladies. One, two, one, two, three, four. Now, ladies and gentlemen, it is the distinct pleasure ofthe management... to present to you the evening's star attraction. Here they are, back after their exclusive three-year tour... of Europe, Scandinavia and the subcontinent. Won't you welcome from Calumet City, Illinois... theshowband ofJolietJake andElwoodBlues. The Blues Brothers! One, two. One, two, three, four. We're so glad to see so many lovely people here tonight. We'd like to welcome all the representatives... of Illinois' law enforcement community... who have chosen tojoin us in the Palace Hotel ballroom at this time. We certainly hope you all enjoy the show. And remember that no matter who you are... and what you do to live and survive... there's still some things that make us all the same. You. Me. Them. Everybody. Everybody Needs somebody Everybody Needs somebody to love Someone to love Sweetheart to miss Sugarto kiss lneedyou, you, you ln the morning When mysoul's on fire Sometimes lfeel lfeela little sadinside When my baby mistreats me lnever, never Findaplace to hide lneedyou Sometimes lfeel lfeela little sadinside When my baby mistreats me lnever, neverfindaplace to hide lneedyou People, when you do fii nd that special somebody... you gotta hold that man, hold that woman... love him, please him, squeeze her, please her! Signify your feelings with every caress. Because it's so important to have that special somebody... to hold, kiss, miss... to squeeze and please! Everybody needs somebody Everybody Needs somebody to love Someone to love Sweetheart to miss Sugarto kiss lneedyou, you ln the morning When mysoul's on fire When there ain 't no one around lneedyou Thankyou. That was for Wilson Pickett. This is dedicated to the late, great Magic Sam. One, two. One, two, three, four. Come on Baby, don'tyou wannago Back to thatsame oldplace Sweet home Chicago Six andthree is nine Nine andnine is eighteen Look there, brother, baby andsee what lsee - The Mafiia's after us now. - You guys were hot! You were great! I've got to record you. - Bullshit. - I don't bullshit. I'm president of Clarion Records... the largest recording company on the eastern seaboard. - So what? - Here's $1 0,000. An advance on your fii rst recording session. Is it a deal? Yeah. Sure, it's a deal. Yeah. Sure, it's a deal! Listen, all these cops out here-- they're waiting for us. We gotta get out with nobody seeing us. You know a back door out? Sure. I used to be head bouncer here back in the '70s. There's an electrical service duct behind your drummer's riser. Do us a favour. Take $1 ,400 and give it to Ray's Music Exchange... in Calumet City, and give the rest to the band. - You got it. - Thanks. Bye. Me and Elwood are gonna make a break for it. You and the band keep playing. - Something's wrong. - Where'sJake? Where'd they go? I sure hope this thing leads someplace. Elwood, we're gone, man. Who is that girl? Well,Jake. You lookjust fii ne down there... slithering in the mud like vermin. No problem. You're not gonna get away from me this time. Check that out! Let's go! It's good to see you, sweetheart! You contemptible pig. I remained celibate foryou. I stood at the back ofa cathedral... waiting, in celibacy, foryou... with 300 friends and relatives in attendance. My uncle hired the best Rumanian caterers in the state. To obtain the seven limousines... my father used up his last favours with Mad Pete Trullo. So for me, for my mother... my grandmother, my father, my uncle and for the common good... I must now kill you and your brother. Oh, please don't kill us! You know I love you, baby! I wouldn't leave you! It wasn't my fault! You miserable slug! You thinkyou can talkyour way out ofthis? You betrayed me! No, I didn't. Honest! I ran out of gas! I had a flat tyre! I didn't have money for cab fare! My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. And old friend came in from out oftown! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! It wasn't my fault, I swear to God! Jake, honey. Let's go. Take it easy. You're now going to totally demolish that car. You want to maybe consider going after the Blues Brothers? It's 1 06 miles to Chicago. We got a full tank of gas, halfa pack ofcigarettes... it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it. Shit, man. Can't this damn thing go any faster than this? Bob, I think I've got a little problem. Goddam, boy. Shit. Don't you say a fuckin' word. All units, we have a ten-seven-niner. Offiicers are in pursuit: a black-and-white southboundon 47. Respondto signal, ten-seven-niner. Occupants ofvehicle.: oneJolietJake Blues... one ElwoodBlues. - Consideredextremely dangerous. - Gruppenfuehrer! Jake, I gotta pull over. Southbound on State Highway 47. Hi! Wanna hand me the mike? Thanks a lot. This is car-- What number are we? Five-fiive. Car 55. We're in a truck. Signal ten-seven-niner still engaged. Vehicle travelling southbound approaching Chicago city limits. Commander advises will contact Chicago precincts... for a local intercept. Maintain pursuit. Use of unnecessary violence... in the apprehension ofthe Blues Brothers has been approved. Well, this is defii nitely Lower Wacker Drive. If my estimations are correct... we should be very close to the Honourable Richard J. Daley Plaza. - That's where they got that Picasso. - Yep. Son ofa bitch! There they are. - Oh, no! - What the fuck was that? The motor. It's thrown a rod. - Is that serious? - Yep. Faster. Holy shit! I've always loved you. There it is! Come on! Sir, where's the offiice ofthe assessor of Cook County? Down the hall. Turn right. Take the elevator to 1 1 02. Thankyou, sir. Excuse me. Did you see two guys... with black suits and hats, one carrying a briefcase? Yeah. I just sent them down there. Thankyou. Hold the door. Let's go. Can I help you? - This is where they pay taxes, right? - Right. This money is for the year's assessment... on the St. Helen ofthe Blessed Shroud Orphanage in Calumet City, Illinois. Five thousand bucks. It's all there, pal. Stand back! Fire! And here is your receipt. Warden threwaparty in the countyjail Prison band was there andthey began to wail The band wasjumping andthejoint began to swing Youshould ofheard those knocked-outjailbirds sing Let's rock Everybody, let's rock Everybody on the whole cellblock Wasdancing to thejailhouse rock SpiderMurphyplayed the tenorsaxophone LittleJoe wasblowin ' on theslide trombone The drummerboy from lllinois went crash, boom, bang The whole rhythm section was the Purple Gang Let's rock Everybody, let's rock Everybody on the whole cellblock Wasdancing to thejailhouse rock SadSack wassitting on a block ofstone Way overin the corner weeping allalone The warden said Buddy, don'tyou be no square lfyou can't get apartner use a wooden chair Let's rock Everybody, let's rock Everybody on the whole cellblock Wasdancing to thejailhouse rock |
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