1
("DEAD MAN'S PARTY"
BY OINGO BOINGO PLAYS)
I'm all dressed up
With nowhere to go
Walkin' with a dead man
Over my shoulder
I'm all dressed up
With nowhere to go
Walkin' with a dead man
Over my shoulder
SANDRA:
Now, onto trail conditions,
we've got another cold front
coming across Truman county
for the next few days,
onto the weekend.
Temperature drops overnight
can hit 25 degrees.
Waiting for
An invitation to arrive
SANDRA: Make sure to carry
with you extra water
and be prepared for an increase
in frostbite related calls.
Stay safe.
Stay warm out there.
I was struck by lightning
Walkin' down the street
I was hit by something
Last night in my sleep
It's a dead man's party
If you see any hikers out there,
walk them through
our standard precautions.
Everybody's comin'
Leave your body at the door
Leave your body and soul
At the door
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
We'll be moving
the public waiting line
for the Botany exhibit indoors
through the rest of the week.
Don't be afraid
Of what you can't see
Don't be afraid
Of what you can't see
(PANTING)
Hey.
- MAN: Honey.
- Mm-hmm.
SANDRA: There has also been
an increase in bear
and mountain lion sightings
in the upper west end trails.
As winter's setting in,
they're coming down the mountain
looking for food.
You don't want to be that food,
especially those of you
heading down the back country.
Okay, we're gonna do
a roll call.
Just give me a here people
and we can get this wrapped up.
Oh, and no trades day of shift.
It's getting too confusing
for the office to keep up.
- Okay, Adam.
- ADAM: Here.
- SANDRA: Craig.
- CRAIG: Here.
- SANDRA: Daniel.
- DANIEL: Here.
- SANDRA: Davey.
- DAVEY: Here!
- SANDRA: Chip.
- MAYA: Where have you been?
WENDY: My car broke down,
I missed the bus again.
- SANDRA: Maya.
- Um, present.
SANDRA: Oh, Ms. McHolmes,
how nice of you to join us.
Maybe you wanna tell us what uh,
whatever tale seems to be
so much more important
- than my morning minutes.
- Um...
SANDRA: Actually, you know what?
Why don't you come on up here
and do it for me,
and then I can sit down?
Um, no ma'am,
you're doing great.
(MAYA GIGGLES)
I mean, uh, I didn't mean, uh...
I mean...
Remember people,
to be early is to be on time.
If you are not checked in
at the beginning
of my safety meeting,
minutes will be deducted
from your timecard.
For those of you
who haven't checked yet,
your assignments
are on the board
and assignment packets
can be found in the eagle rooms.
Stay safe out there!
Stay safe out there!
(LAUGHS)
So, do you, uh,
know where you're at yet?
- Nah, I gotta check.
- I'm at exhibits with Chip.
Been after that guy for a week.
Just look at his face.
It's... It's so...
- Frat boy?
- Yes! Bing! Love it.
WENDY: Oh, looks like
you're not the only one.
MAYA:
Yeah, you don't have to tell me.
She's been bird-dogging everyone
I even glance at recently.
Let's get her.
Wendy, you really
stepped in it this time.
Are you trying to get fired?
What? What do you mean?
I was being sincere!
Just, you know,
the one time I'm late.
Oh!
What?
Girl, you are late all the time.
Come on, I'm not always late.
It's adorable
that you think that.
WENDY: Uh-oh.
You're not on exhibits today.
You're, uh, posting signs
on Hitchback Ridge.
What? No, no, no, no.
I'm supposed to be on exhibits
- flirting with a quarterback!
- WENDY: Nope.
I'm on exhibits, you guys
need to stop reading this wrong.
- MAYA: Um, Craigy.
- No.
- Craigy.
- I'm not switching with you.
I can do it.
Yeah, you take the info booth
and I'll take the trail
and then...
That way you get to see Chip
all day.
- Hmm.
- (SCOFFS)
I know that face.
Yeah, that's your pity face.
- No!
- It so is.
- I'll handle this for you.
- Thank you.
Maya doesn't think
that you can do it.
I'm just as qualified
as you guys.
Yeah, don't you mostly do
like kiddie trails?
What about the, uh, spider
that made you jump...
- WENDY: Oh, my God.
- ...15 feet across the way?
WENDY:
You guys it was a black widow!
- MAYA: It was a daddy long leg.
- It was a daddy long leg.
So, I don't want you
to get in your head
- about this though, it's okay.
- CRAIG: It's not a big deal.
It's just that
being on the trail,
you kinda have to be,
like, tougher.
- Yeah, hardy. Yeah. Uh-huh.
- Hardy is a great word.
Uh-hmm. Come on you guys,
it's just tying signs to trees.
No, it's a lot of rough terrain.
And you have to be ready
to get your hands dirty,
your pretty hands.
Listen, you're an indoor kid,
okay?
- Like, uh, Davey.
- DAVEY: Oh!
- Oh, Davey?
- MAYA AND CRAIG: Oh, Davey.
- We're trading.
- Wow, okay.
All right, okay, fine,
your... your funeral babe!
- Thanks, Davey.
- CRAIG: All right, calm down...
Uh, let's switch packs, yeah?
So, you don't have to go
through outfitting.
Yeah.
Here ya go, and, um,
you're sure you're okay, yeah?
Yeah, I'm fine.
- Okay.
- I'll be fine.
Great, I will see you later.
Yeah, it's just
a walk in the woods.
I mean, how hard can it be?
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(LEAVES RUSTLING)
(CROW CAWING)
WENDY: (SIGHS)
(MUSIC SHUFFLING)
("POINT OF NO RETURN"
BY EXPOSE PLAYS)
SINGER: Common love
Seems just like a dream
It's no mystery to me
Fill me within
When we're together
Oh baby, can't you see
It took so long
Life of denial
The love you give to me
And when you smile
It warms my heart and me
Oh baby, can't you see
I...
I like to feel the passion
To the point of no return
Oh baby, I...
Will be
in full reaction
I want to take you
in my arms
You're taking me
To the point of no return
Hey, hey, hey
("POINT OF NO RETURN"
BY EXPOSE PLAYS)
I wanna be with you baby
I'm gonna...
WENDY: (GASPS)
Jesus Christ, Davey.
You scared the shit out of me!
It's not my fault,
I called your name three times.
You didn't look up!
- WENDY: (SIGHS)
- Oh, I'm sorry. Lemme help you.
- WENDY: It's fine
- DAVEY: Oh, nope, okay.
WENDY:
It's fine. I've got it. Thanks.
What are you doing out here?
DAVEY: I'm refilling
the dog shit bag holders.
All the way out here?
Not usually.
Usually, I work
with the maintenance crew,
helping them
with electric stuff.
- Hmm.
- But I left the gate open
and one of the mowers
rolled down the hill
right into a maintenance shack
so, now I'm on
dog shit bag duty.
(LAUGHS)
Yeah.
Do you ever feel like...
I don't know, this isn't
the right job for you?
DAVEY: No, I mean,
I may not be the biggest guy
in the crew.
They may not think
I'm the best person for the job,
but I know I can do it.
That's what matters, right?
Yeah.
Well uh...
I guess I'm gonna, you know...
get back to it.
DAVEY: Okay, right yeah.
See ya!
Hey!
I could come with you!
If you want.
To make up for messing up
half your stuff.
- I'm pretty much done.
- No, it's okay.
It's just less work
for me now, so...
Right, right.
I should probably go too.
All right, see ya!
Watch out for snakes!
- (LAUGHS)
- (CHUCKLES)
Okay, I will.
WENDY: (HUMMING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(ANIMAL NOISES)
WENDY: (PANTING)
(SIGHS)
Here.
- (LEAVES RUSTLING)
- WENDY: (GASPS)
WENDY: So...
let's see.
Okay. So, I'm here.
- (RUSTLING)
- (GASPS)
WENDY: I can make it up there.
- (BRANCH SNAPS)
- (GASPS)
(GROANING)
(SIGHS)
(PHONE BEEPS)
You lost yet?
(SIGHS)
(GRUNTS)
(PANTING)
Yes.
(CAMERA SHUTTERS)
(PHONE BEEPS)
Okay.
(WIND HOWLING)
WENDY: (GROANS)
(CAMERA SHUTTERS)
(KEYPAD TAPPING)
(PHONE BEEPS)
(PHONE BEEPS)
(CHUCKLES)
(SIGHS)
What's she talking about?
I'm here.
What?
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
Okay. Let's get back here.
(PHONE BEEPS)
Oh, shit.
Hey!
Hello!
Are you okay down there?
Hello?
No, no.
Shit!
(SIGHS)
Okay.
Okay. Okay.
WENDY: Hello?
I, uh...
I... I work for the park.
Sir?
Sir.
(GASPS)
WENDY: (PANTS)
Okay.
Come in, this is Wendy McHolmes,
is anyone there?
Please, come in.
I've... I've got a code 030.
Repeat I have a code 030, over.
I have a dead fucking body here.
KEVIN: This is APAC Kevin
at base, over.
Oh, God.
Hi, this is Wendy McHolmes.
I'm on Hitchback
just over the peak
and, um, I have got a code 030.
KEVIN: You're breaking up Wendy,
can you repeat?
Um, there's a man,
I... I think
he must have fell, um...
KEVIN: Switch to channel three.
Okay.
Okay, channel three here.
KEVIN: Are you sure he is 030?
You checked all his
vital signs?
Yes, yeah, yes definitely.
Um, he looks like
he's been here,
um, I don't know. He looks like
he's been here a while,
um, like a couple of days maybe.
KEVIN: Wendy we don't show you
on any trails today,
you don't have that level
of trail clearance yet.
Yeah, um, I traded
with Maya Davis earlier
and, um, she had Hitchback.
Fuck!
Actually,
I'm not actually on Hitchback.
I don't think.
Um, I don't have my map.
And I must have lost it
a while back on the trail.
KEVIN: Copy that,
okay now Wendy.
Are there any distinguishable
landmarks you can see?
Um...
yes, yeah, I can... I can see
Brighton Rock, uh, just...
just across the valley.
KEVIN: Okay copy,
see anything else?
WENDY: Uh, I'm on a ridge,
just a big flat spot.
KEVIN: That'll be a good place
for you to be
when the search team arrives.
Now, is anyone else there?
Is anyone else hurt?
No. It's just me and him,
I mean the body.
There's, uh,
there's no one else up here.
KEVIN: Listen, it's a long ridge
around Brighton
but we'll reach out
to the fire lookout station
and the proper authorities.
Be careful up there,
that area has active
wildlife warnings
and category three terrain.
It might take us a while
to find you
without an exact location,
just secure the area
and hold tight.
Okay, um...
do I leave a sign
or tie a t-shirt to a tree?
I mean, what... I mean,
what... what do we do now?
KEVIN: As I said,
a park official
must secure the area
and you're a long ways
out there.
Are the fire lookout people
gonna be here soon at least?
Is... is anyone
gonna be here soon?
KEVIN: The area you're in
is about six hours from base.
It's 16:00 now,
they're not gonna get to you
before dark.
That's... That's not
until midnight now.
I have to stay here until then?
KEVIN: No, Wendy. You need
to stay until morning.
Every ranger pack is equipped
for these types of emergencies.
You should be fine
for one night.
No fucking way,
are you out of your mind?
I'm not staying here
with a dead body!
KEVIN: Look without an
exact pinpoint location,
you shouldn't move
from where you are at all
until we can send someone
up there safely
and that unfortunately
won't be until morning.
(STATIC)
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
Shit.
SANDRA: Wendy?
Wendy! It's Sandra.
Listen, someone has to stay
until the first responders
can get to the scene.
They can't get up there
in the dark for extraction,
it isn't safe.
And me staying here is?
SANDRA: Well, it's safer than
you trying to come down
in the dark
without even knowing
where you are in the daylight.
There's miles and miles
of unmaintained woods
up there, Wendy.
You could get lost
and we'd never find you ever.
But I'm not a forest, uh...
service official or certified,
whatever.
And anyway,
I'm like a park guide, you know,
like, I like pick up trash
and I like hand out pamphlets
and I tell kids not to start
forest fires, I'm not...
SANDRA: Someone has to stay
and trust me,
I'm sorry that's you.
They know the vicinity
you're in,
just, just stay put.
Tough it out and we'll be there
as soon as we can.
And Wendy, you didn't touch
or move the deceased, did you?
(BEEPS)
No.
SANDRA: Good.
That's really good.
Whatever you do,
make sure that you...
(RADIO BEEPS)
- (RADIO POWERS DOWN)
- Fuck!
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
No, no, no, no.
Don't, don't, don't, don't.
Fuck!
(CRIES)
Fuck!
(CRIES)
(SIGHS)
(BIRD SQUAWKING)
Hello?
Anybody in there?
(BIRD SQUAWKING)
I'm an employee
with the park service.
(BIRD SQUAWKING)
WENDY: You know it's, uh...
it's illegal not to answer
a park employee.
(CREAKING)
(CREAKING)
- (GASPS)
- (CREAKING)
(CREAKING)
(CREAKING)
(LEAVES RUSTLING)
(LEAVES RUSTLING)
(CREAKS)
WENDY: (COUGHS)
(GAGS AND COUGHS)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
WENDY: Oh, my God!
Hey, hey are you okay?
(GASPS)
(CROW CAWS)
Shit, what do I do?
Oh, fuck!
Fuck.
Fuck! Wait till dawn.
Oh, shit. Wait till dawn.
(INDISTINCT)
Okay.
(PANTING)
Okay.
Okay. Okay, so...
okay, so...
Okay.
(SIGHS)
Okay.
(THUDS)
(LEAVES RUSTLING)
Anybody in there?
(THUDS)
- (TWIG SNAPS)
- (GASPS)
(FLIES BUZZING)
(RADIO STATIC)
(SIGHS)
WENDY: Come in.
This is Wendy again
to office or Kevin.
Come in.
My radio is dying. Hello.
(SIGHS) Come on.
Come in.
Shit.
- (RADIO WHIRRING)
- WENDY: Ugh, yes! Oh.
Hello, this is Wendy
to main station, over.
KEVIN: There ya are!
How ya doing out there?
Have you secured the area?
Anything to report?
Um, I found a tent
about half a mile from the body.
But it didn't look like anyone
had been there in a while.
KEVIN: Copy.
Did you find anything else?
I thought there might have been
something in the tent
so I went in there
to check if...
KEVIN:
Wait! You went inside the tent?
That could be a crime scene.
You should not have done that.
Well I was just... I was just
checking to see if there...
if there was someone hurt or
if there was someone in there.
KEVIN: Look, I know
this might be hard for you,
but you might have just
contaminated evidence.
Evidence of what?
KEVIN:
Well, they probably just fell,
nine times out of ten,
that's the cause of death
out here, and it sounds like
that from what you've described
but that's why the coroner
needs to come
so just don't touch
anything else, okay?
In the morning, you should
get back up on that ridge
so the search team
can spot you.
- The team is gonna start...
- (GASPS)
KEVIN:
...a little before dark, copy?
There's someone here.
KEVIN: What do you mean,
like another hiker?
No, there's just a man.
He's just...
he's just standing
over the dead body.
KEVIN:
Well, go tell him to back off.
That's the whole reason
you're there.
You just told me that
there might be a crime scene
and that means that he might be
a murderer!
Shit!
No.
Shit.
- RED: You're with the park?
- (SCREAMS)
Whoa, whoa! It's okay.
It's okay.
You're okay, okay?
What were you doing?
You shouldn't be here.
I've been coming up here
for years.
No, I don't mean the woods.
I... I mean, right there.
There's been an accident.
Who is he?
WENDY: I don't know, a hiker.
The police are on their way.
When are they getting here?
WENDY: Soon.
Hey!
Hey!
Stop! You really need to leave.
This is a crime scene.
I thought you said
it was an accident.
Maybe. Maybe not.
That's why you need to leave.
Hey, what are you doing?
You're gonna contaminate
the... the remains.
Oh, I don't think
he's gonna mind.
I said stop.
Stay, right there.
Which one is it?
You want me to stay right here
or go away?
I can't do both.
What were you looking for?
Look,
I know what a fall looks like.
Broken neck, broken bones,
and this just... this just
doesn't look like that
or at least not just that.
What does it look like then?
I don't know. That's what
I was trying to figure out.
I was looking for a wallet
or ID or something,
but he's got nothing on him.
But I did feel...
Hah!
That thing doesn't still work,
does it?
RED: Nah, it's dead.
I got one just like it.
Oh, you've got a phone?
Ah, not on me.
I think I left it at home.
Always have that damn thing
with me, you know?
It isn't safe to be up here
without a means
of communication.
You know?
When did you say
help was coming?
Soon.
Yeah, well, getting dark
pretty soon.
- Yeah, they'll be here soon.
- RED: Hmm.
Lotta big critters up here.
Actually, I'm surprised
they haven't gotten to him yet.
In fact,
kinda...
As a forest service marshal,
I'm gonna have to request
that you vacate
the premises immediately.
- Look.
- WENDY: Go on.
I'm just trying to help,
all right?
Now, if you wanna stay up here
all night,
sit in the dark with a cadaver,
that's your own damn business.
But I'm telling you,
this is not the kind of place
you want to be at night.
Especially
a little thing like you.
Lotta predators up here.
If you find yourself
face-to-face with one,
don't run.
You're still a couple notches
down on the food chain.
Remember that.
Have a good night, marshal.
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(INSECTS CHIRPING)
What the fuck.
(PANTING)
Shit.
This is...
(OWL HOOTS)
(WIND HOWLING)
(LEAVES RUSTLING)
(ANIMAL NOISES)
(ANIMAL SCREECHES)
WENDY: (PANTING)
(CLANKS)
WENDY: Oh, God.
What the fuck.
(CREAKING)
Okay.
(LEAVES RUSTLE)
WENDY: Hello.
(LEAVES RUSTLE)
WENDY: Is anybody there?
(LEAVES RUSTLE)
WENDY: (PANTS)
(SIGHS)
(LIGHTER CLICKING)
(SIGHS)
(BLOWING)
(SIGHS)
Hmm.
Okay.
(FOREST AMBIANCE)
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
(GROANING)
(GASPING)
(GROANING)
(GASPING)
(GASPS)
(PANTING)
(LEAVES RUSTLING)
WENDY: (PANTING)
(ZOMBIE SNARLS)
(TWIGS SNAPPING)
(ZOMBIE SNARLS)
(FOOTSTEPS)
(ZOMBIE SNARLING)
(FOOTSTEPS)
(PANTING)
(BRANCHES CREAKING)
(GROWLS)
(PANTING)
(LEAVES RUSTLING)
- SANDRA: Wendy?
- (GASPS)
SANDRA: Wendy?
SANDRA: (INDISTINCT) you just
have to be tougher...
(ECHOES) tougher... tougher.
CRAIG: Maya doesn't think
that you could do it.
SANDRA: If you get lost,
we'd never find you...
(ECHOES) find you... find you...
CRAIG:
You aren't ready for this.
SANDRA: Ever. Ever.
MAYA: And you have to be willing
to get your hands dirty,
to jump 15 feet across the way.
CRAIG: You mostly do like
kiddie trails, right?
(OVERLAPPING RADIO CHATTER)
SANDRA: I'm sorry that it's you.
(ECHOES)
That it's you. That it's you.
(BRANCH SNAPS)
WENDY: Ha.
(YELLS) Ha!
(WIND HOWLING)
(SIGHS)
- (THUDS)
- (GASPS)
(PANTING)
(DISTANT GROWLING)
(DISTANT GROWLING)
(PANTING)
- (FAINT SOUND)
- WENDY: (GASPS)
(LEAVES RUSTLE)
(PANTING)
(ZOMBIE SNARLS)
(YELLS)
(GROANING)
(GASPING)
(COUGHING AND GASPING)
(GASPING)
(PANTING)
(WIND HOWLING)
You're just cells
and tissues and atoms
breaking down
into their composite parts.
It's a totally natural process.
There's nothing to be afraid of.
I'm not afraid of you.
I'm not afraid of you.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(GASPS)
(THUDS)
(WIND HOWLING,
BRANCHES SNAPPING)
(GROWLING)
(PANTING)
(GROANS)
(PANTING)
(GROANS)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(GROANS)
(GRUNTS)
(PANTING)
RED: Hey! Stop!
WENDY: No! No!
(BOTH GRUNTING)
(PANTING)
All right.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(GRUNTS)
(LEAVES RUSTLING)
(GROWLS)
(SNIFFING)
(GROWLING)
(SCREAMS)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(PANTING)
(GROANING)
(SNARLING)
(GROWLS)
No!
(PANTING)
(GROWLS)
Oh, shit!
(PANTING)
(GROWLS)
(SCREAMING)
(PANTING)
(GROWLING)
(GUNSHOT)
(GROANING)
MAYA: That's how we found you,
we saw you up on the peak,
and the next thing we saw,
you were fighting a bear.
I can't believe you fought
a fucking bear, dude!
How did they find me so fast?
Sandra convinced the police
to come out early in the dark.
I mean, we followed the peaks
by the moonlight
almost all the way
to Brighton Rock.
To be early is to be on time.
SHERIFF: A fall then?
No. These marks indicate a bear
most likely got to him first.
Poor bugger was probably
still alive.
MAYA: Wendy, will you sit down?
I mean, your leg.
CORONER: ...fall probably
happened after.
There's bear hair
underneath his nails.
You're real lucky, miss.
Once a bear gets a taste
for blood,
there's no fear of humans
left in them.
This one was denned up in a cave
not a quarter mile up that way.
Real territorial
this time of year.
Smart of you not to run.
If you had you would've
ended up like this fella here.
Wh... who was he?
Red Bumgardner.
He's a local hunter.
He went missing a while back.
Camping. Presumed dead.
This can't be him.
He was here.
I... I... I talked to him.
Look, honey,
whoever you talked to,
was not him.
This man's been lying here dead
for days now.
No, I saw him, okay?
He had a knife, and...
Do you mean this knife?
No. That...
That's not possible.
Well, we need to get
his prints back to the lab
to be 100 percent, but...
- the photos match.
- WENDY: Photo?
SHERIFF: Oh now, we found this
in his pocket. Here.
It still works
if you can believe it.
It charged right up
after we gave it some juice.
I've been coming up here
for years.
I've got one just like it.
There's a lot of predators
up here.
No!
(GROWLS)
You had a rough night.
You did good.
There's nothing
to be afraid of now.
(EXHALES)
Miss? Miss?
MAYA: Is she okay?
SHERIFF: Are you all right?
MAYA: Wendy?
- Wendy?
- (WENDY LAUGHING)
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)