Yo, Maurice!
Jackie-Jack!
How you doin'?
And Miss lovely Amber Waves.
You haven't been around.
We were on vacation.
Don't ever stay away
from my club that long again.
You got it.
And not for nothing, honey...
but you are the sexiest bitch
here, and I love you!
Such a charmer.
I got your booth
set up in the back.
I'm ready, I'm available.
You put me in a movie,
we're talking box office.
G. G!
Jack and Amber's table...
take them over
an order of clams.
How's it going here?
It's gonna be me and you.
We'll take a picture later on.
I love you, baby.
How's it goin'?
I was looking for you.
Where were you?
I was here.
I love you back.
Hey, Maurice, cowboy.
That's the cowboy?
You like it?
Yeah, if you like it.
I love it!
Compliments of Maurice.
- Thank you.
- Can I get a margarita?
A 7-UP.
Hi, Rollergirl.
Did you call that girl today?
I forgot.
If you don't do it tomorrow,
you'll never see her.
What's the matter down there?
I gotta go pee.
Well, go then.
Hey, Little Bill.
Hi, Amber. How are you?
How's our schedule? Are we
still on for day after tomorrow?
More like the day after
the day after tomorrow.
Come on. I gotta call
Rocky and Scotty and Kurt.
It's going to be
a small group on this one.
- A low-key deal?
- Exactly.
Do we... I'm sorry.
Do we have a script?
How you doin'?
Fine.
How old are you?
I have a work permit.
I have all the papers.
Not that.
Been working here long?
A month.
Maurice give you the job?
You from around here?
Canoga? Reseda?
You know where Torrance is?
How do you get here?
Take the bus.
What do you want to be?
Excuse me?
You take the bus to Reseda
for this job.
Can't you get a job
like this in Torrance?
Yeah, but I don't want to.
So...
Do you want a five or a ten?
What?
If you want to see me jack off,
it's ten...
but if you only want
to look at it, it's five.
Guys pay to watch you do it?
You already done it tonight?
Couple times.
And you can do it again?
If you want.
If you got ten bucks.
My name is Jack.
Eddie. Eddie Adams.
Eddie Adams from Torrance.
I'm Jack Horner, filmmaker.
Really?
I make adult films,
exotic pictures.
I know who you are.
I read about you in a magazine.
Inside Amber, Amanda's Ride.
You made those, right?
Those are great.
So, now you know
I'm not full of doggy doo-doo.
Want to come back
to the table and have a drink?
I'd love to,
but I have to work.
You have to work,
get money, pay the rent.
I need money,
but I don't pay rent.
I still live at home.
How old are you?
Seventeen.
Seventeen-year-old
piece of gold.
Yeah, right.
Why don't you
come back to the table?
I do know you.
I know who you are.
I'd love to come for a drink,
and you're not full of...
Doggy doo-doo.
But I just couldn't walk out
on Maurice. I'm sorry.
I got a feeling
beneath those jeans...
there's something wonderful
just waiting to get out.
Hey, Bill. What's up?
What are you guys doing?
A couple of bad girls.
I guess I'll see you later.
What are you still doing here?
Half hour be OK.
Listen, thank you.
Love you, mamita. Take care.
This is the man you let in
any time, understand?
All right.
A luego.
Hasta maana.
Make you some eggs, beauty?
No. I'm going to sleep.
Good night.
Good night, honeytits.
Sleep beautiful.
Tom? It's me.
I know it's late, but I...
Is Andy there?
I'd like to say hello to my son,
and that's all.
Let me tell you something
you don't know.
I know a lawyer, you understand?
You think I don't, but I do,
and I'll take you to court!
Don't. Please.
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck
does it look like I'm doing?
Can you close the door?
Will I close the door?
That's my wife, you asshole.
I'm sorry.
Get out.
Go sleep on the couch.
Don't stop, big stud.
That's right.
Shave if you're gonna do that.
You'll scratch my face.
Sorry.
Morning.
How's that work?
You get home late now?
You work in a nightclub.
If it means so much to you,
find one that's closer.
I gotta get to work.
- A car wash.
- What?
You work at a car wash
and a nightclub.
School never occurred to you?
You're getting twice the bass
with the TK-421...
which we've got on this system
right here.
I don't know
if I need all that bass.
I think you need all that bass.
If you want a system
to handle what you want...
you need the bass.
This is hi-fi, OK?
High fidelity.
You know what that means?
That means this is
the highest quality fidelity.
Hi-fi. Two very important
things in a stereo system.
It's the price for the...
I have this very unit
in my home.
Really?
But I got it modified
with the TK-421...
which kicks it up another...
three or four quads per channel.
But that's technical talk.
That doesn't really concern you.
Still a little uncertain,
aren't you?
You know what you need?
You need a test drive.
That's what you need.
It's one thing to hear it
from Buck's mouth.
It's another thing to hear it
from the TK-421.
So let me just pop in
this 8-track...
and you just give a listen,
tell me what you think.
You hear that?
You hear the bass? Right?
You hear it? It kicks.
It turns.
It curls up your belly.
Makes you want
to freaky-deaky, right?
You got that?
If you get this system as is...
it won't sound like this without
the TK-421 modification...
and we do that in the store,
very small price.
Move with it if you need to.
It helps me.
Thank you for your time.
So long, partner.
What the fuck was that?
Have I told you?
I don't know
what you're talking about.
With that country-western shit,
no one's going to buy a stereo.
What kind of brother are you,
listening to that shit?
Look, Jerry...
I gave you a job here because
I thought your acting stuff...
might bring some nice pussy
into the place...
and it has, but I can't have
any more fuckups.
You dig?
- You dig?
- Yeah, I dig.
Now get in the back
and unload those new 484s.
All right. Sorry.
Settle down, class.
This is your final.
Keep your test papers facedown
until I tell you to turn them.
Clear your tables, please.
There should be nothing
on your desk...
but your test paper
and a pencil.
We're covering chapters
seventeen through twenty-eight.
Your eyes should stay
on your test papers, please.
Are we ready?
Class, begin.
Honey?
You OK?
Sweetheart?
Is something wrong?
I got to get back.
I need it once more.
I have to go back to work.
Come on. Give it to me.
Don't make me pounce you,
Sheryl Lynn.
- I'll do it.
- You promise?
That's it!
- You want it?
- Yeah.
- How bad?
- Bad.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
You asked for it!
Oh, God. Wait.
Stop.
What?
Your cock is so beautiful.
Do you know
how good you are doing it?
Having sex? Fucking me?
Making love to me?
Everyone has one thing,
you think?
I mean, everyone's given
one special thing, right?
That's right.
Everyone's blessed
with one special thing.
I want you to know
I plan on being a star.
A big, bright shining star.
That's what I want.
That's what I'm going to get.
I know.
I got to go.
Get lucky.
Want a ride?
I'm going really far.
Do you remember me
from a couple hours ago?
I remember.
Come with us, sweetie.
This is a really cool car.
What I'm trying to tell you...
is it takes a lot of the good
old American green stuff...
to make one of these things.
You've got your camera...
you got your film,
you got your lights...
your sound, your lab costs,
your developing...
your synching, and your editing.
Before you turn around,
you spent maybe $20,000...
$25,000, $30,000 on a movie.
That's a lot of money.
You bet your ass it is...
but if you make a good one...
there's practically no end
to how much money you can make.
Have you seen Jack's house?
- No.
- He will.
He'll see it.
You got maybe fifteen,
twenty guys standing around...
just making sure
that your lighting is right.
But you can work out
in the morning...
you can work out at noon,
you can work out at night.
Doesn't matter if you don't
have those juices flowing...
down there in the Mr. Torpedo
area, in the fun zone.
But you got to get
the people in the theater.
You need the big dicks,
the big tits.
Here we go.
How do you keep them in
the theater after they've come?
With beauty...
and with acting.
I understand you've got
to get them in the theater.
You got to keep
the seats full...
but I don't want
to make a film...
where they show up, sit down,
jack off...
and get up and get out
before the story ends.
It is my dream, it is my goal...
it is my idea to make a film
that the story sucks them in...
and when they spurt out
that joy juice...
they just got to sit in it.
They can't move until they
find out how the story ends.
I want to make a film
like that.
And I understand
they have to make films.
I've made them myself
that are a few laughs...
everybody fucks
their brains out...
and that's fine...
but it's my dream...
to make a film...
that is true...
and right...
and dramatic.
You sure
you don't want a Fresca?
- No, thanks.
- Are you sure?
You're out of limes.
Check in the kitchen.
I'm going to bed.
Good night, Jackie.
Don't stay up too late.
Good night, beauty.
Good night, Eddie.
Glad you came by.
You're great.
Thank you.
She's the best.
She's a wonderful mother.
She's a mother
to all those who need love.
She's really nice.
You know what I'm thinking?
I'm thinking I want to be
in business with you.
- Really?
- Yeah. What do you think?
I'd love it.
What do you think of Rollergirl?
She's great.
Would you like to do it?
- Have sex?
- Oh, yeah.
I'd love to.
She's really foxy.
You bet your ass she is.
You're officially
out of limes, Jack.
I'll pick up
some for you tomorrow.
Come here, darling.
I want you to go over there...
and sit on the couch with Eddie.
Here we go.
Are we going to fuck?
Wait a minute.
Are you ready?
Yeah. Are you?
Are you going
to take your skates off?
I don't take my skates off...
and don't fucking come in me.
Aim it at her tits, Eddie.
Where were you?
- Nowhere.
- Shut up.
You see that little slut girl
you see?
Sheryl? Sheryl Lynn?
Don't say that.
Make you feel like a stud
to see trash like that?
Is she your girlfriend?
She's not my girlfriend.
She's a little whore
and a little piece of trash...
and I know you're not
the only one she sees.
Why would you say something
like that?
I heard things about her.
Don't think I don't know
what goes on when I'm not here.
I wash your sheets.
I know she's been here.
Or you doing something else
in there...
with your music
and your posters on the wall?
What is your problem?
OK. Fine.
Go to that little whore
Sheryl Lynn.
- Why don't you go to her?
- Maybe I will.
What are you going to do?
I don't know.
I'll do something.
You can't do anything!
You'll always be a loser!
You couldn't finish high school
because you were too stupid!
- What are you going to do?
- I'll do something!
I'll go somewhere,
and I'll do something!
Maybe I'll run away
where you can never find me!
Go ahead!
Fuck that little girl!
What do you think you're doing?
- I'm getting my stuff.
- You think that's your stuff?
That's not your stuff!
You didn't pay for it!
That is not your stuff
because you didn't pay for it!
None of this is yours!
You leave here,
you leave with what you've got!
Nothing!
You understand me?
You want to treat me
like this?
This is what happens!
Is that fair?
- I didn't do anything!
- You want to live that way?
You think
you're going to do this?
Goddamn poster!
Don't do that!
Why are you doing that?
You're not going to be shit,
because you're too stupid!
- I'm not stupid!
- Yes, you are!
Please! Don't fucking do that!
Please don't be mean to me!
I'm not being mean to you.
You're too stupid to see it!
You don't know
what I could do...
what I'm going to do,
what I'm going to be.
You don't know. I'm good.
I have good things
you don't know about...
and I'm going to be something!
I am!
Don't fucking tell me I'm not!
Don't be mean!
And you don't talk to me!
Fuck!
Eddie Adams from Torrance.
I knew you'd make it.
You take the bus
the whole way here?
It wasn't bad.
Great. I got some people
I want you to meet.
You like music?
- I love music.
- What kind?
All kinds of music...
rock, jazz, classical.
I want you to meet
a couple of great people...
Buck and Becky.
I'm Eddie Adams.
Buck Swope. Nice to meet you.
- Our new fella.
- Becky Barnett.
- It's nice to meet you.
- This is the new fella?
- Is that a faccia?
- That is a faccia.
- Faccia's "face," right?
- That's right.
- Nice to meet you guys.
- All right.
Great people.
He's one hell of an actor.
Hey, Reed. Reedo!
I want you to meet the new boy
on the street... Eddie Adams.
I'm Eddie.
Reed Rothchild.
I want you to stick around
for a while, OK?
Sure.
- Make him something special.
- Aye, aye.
- You live on this street?
- No.
I thought Jack
just said you did.
- Want a drink?
- Sure.
- Margarita?
- Great.
Wow.
Two, four...
whatever.
Can I ask you something?
Do you work out?
You look like it.
What do you squat?
About two.
Super, super.
What about you?
What do you squat?
- 350.
- Wow.
- It's no B.S.
- That's a lot.
- Where do you work out?
- In Torrance, where I live.
Cool.
Do you ever go to Vince's
out here?
No, I would have seen you.
I'm there every day.
I've always wanted to work out
at Vince's.
Cool. Here. Taste that.
- Rock and roll.
- All right?
Did you ever see that movie
Star Wars?
About four times.
People tell me
I look like Han Solo.
Really?
What do you bench?
You tell first.
I asked you first.
Same time.
Cool.
Are you ready?
Ready.
One... two... three...
- You didn't say anything.
- Neither did you.
Hey, guys. Look at me.
Thank you, Johnny.
My dear, it's party time.
Do you look lovely?
Hello, Colonel. How are you?
This is my lady friend.
Darling, I'd like you
to meet Jack Horner...
the finest director
in the business.
Do you have any coke
at this party?
I'm sure they can find some
somewhere.
Great.
You're no bigger
than a minute, are you?
Shy as a butterfly, I'll bet.
He doesn't have the right
to tell me how to dress.
Baby, it's just plain old.
Wait. Let me tell you something.
First, he was obviously
pissed off about the music.
What's wrong with it?
Second, the cowboy look
ended about six years ago.
- It's coming back.
- No, it's not. It's dead.
I don't think you know
what you're talking about.
I know what I'm talking about...
and it sounds like your bosses
are saying the same thing.
- What?
- You have to get a new look.
You get a new look.
I have a look, OK?
The look I have is just fine.
- What's your look?
- Chocolate love.
Take a pill.
You don't have to lash out
like that.
I'm just trying
to be your friend.
I tried opening up a club
there...
but I'm just this poor fellow
from Puerto Rico.
I got this club here.
That's one thing.
But soon that goes,
I die, and what do I have?
I got nothing.
I want something
I can send home.
Something I can send my brothers
and say, "Look at me...
and all the beautiful women
I've been with."
So, what?
You want me to talk to Jack?
Yeah. I mean, you know.
What am I asking you here?
Honey, Amber, baby,
please talk to Jack.
Tell him I can do this.
Tell him I won't be bad.
You want to be in a movie?
- Baby, please.
- I'll see what I can do.
Would you, love?
Thank you very much.
Thank you, mamita.
Maurice, can I talk to you?
I need to talk to you now.
Pal, buddy...
Excuse me.
Can I join in?
Most certainly.
The cowboy look,
that's not dead.
What is Becky talking about?
She's got a fucking
something up her ass.
- Fuck that shit.
- Bitch.
Do a cannonball!
No. Watch this jackknife.
- Did it look cool?
- Pretty good.
Let me show you
what you did wrong.
Full flip.
You all right?
You got to bring your legs
all the way around.
I know. I know.
This is my point.
You know what I say?
Wear what you dig.
Just wear what you dig.
- That's what I say.
- What's the problem?
Should I get that?
Can you speak
a little louder, please?
Who? Maggie.
- Do you know a Maggie?
- I don't know a Maggie.
Sorry.
There's no Maggie here.
Your mother.
Just give me a second.
Watch that for me, OK?
Excuse me.
Is there a Maggie here?
Maggie? Are you Maggie?
Do you know Maggie?
You Maggie?
Can you believe this?
I'm sorry.
There's no Maggie here.
OK. No. It's not a problem.
Ciao.
Who was that?
Some kid looking for his mom.
What the fuck are you doing?
What's it look like
they're doing?
- That's my wife.
- Shut up, Bill.
You're embarrassing me.
Yeah, Little Bill. Shut up.
Hey, Kurt. How's it going?
What's wrong?
My fucking wife.
She's down there,
some idiot's dick in her.
Everybody's standing around
watching.
It's a fucking embarrassment!
Yeah, I know. Anyway, listen.
For the shoot,
I want to talk about the look.
I want to see about
getting this new zoom lens.
I was wondering if we'd get
some more lights, too.
Jack wants a minimal thing.
Very often, minimal means
a lot more photographically...
than most people understand.
- I understand.
- I know you understand.
I'm talking about
some other people.
I think what Jack
is talking about is minimal...
not really natural, but minimal.
- I was just saying...
- I understand.
Because I'm trying to give
each picture its own look.
Can we talk about this later?
Oh, yeah.
You got to go somewhere?
I was hoping
for the shoot tomorrow...
we could send Rocky down,
and he could pick it up.
No, hey. Got you.
You got to go somewhere...
so what the fuck?
It's only the photography...
of the film we're talking about.
Are you giving me shit?
Hey, no way, Little Bill.
My wife has an ass
in her cock in the driveway!
I'm sorry if my thoughts
are not on the photography...
of the film
we're shooting tomorrow, OK?
OK. No big deal. Sorry.
- All right?
- Got you.
All right. Where is this?
I think she's sick.
What the fuck is this?
I didn't do anything.
I didn't.
Is she breathing?
I don't know.
I think she did too much coke.
Do you think so, Doctor?
This girl's definitely OD'd.
I want you to handle this
for me, Johnny.
Pick her up, get her in the car,
and drive her to Saint Joe's.
Drop her off in the front.
Got you.
Make sure no one sees the limo.
What the fuck is this?
This is twice in two days
that a chick has OD'd on me.
Do you think maybe
you ought to get some new shit?
Shit. She's freaking out!
See? Look at this.
With all this fucking
conversation. Come on.
Please don't die!
Come on!
Back door, Johnny.
You got it.
Fuckin' shit!
Get out of my way.
- Is she all right?
- Shut the fuck up!
Hey, Scotty J. How are you?
You know, you know. Who's this?
Eddie, this is Scotty J.
He's a friend.
He works on some of the films.
- Nice to meet you.
- Oh, yeah. Me, too.
You going to be working or...
Maybe.
Probably.
That's great.
How'd you meet Jack?
Because I work on the films
sometimes.
So if you ever...
Come here a second, will you?
Could you excuse me
for a minute?
Very nice to meet you.
Take care.
Eddie Adams,
this is the Colonel.
How do you do?
Eddie is interested in film.
I can't give you much advice...
that Jack probably
doesn't know...
but I can advise that maybe
you think about your name.
My name?
Think about some name
that makes you happy...
or something
with a little pizzazz.
Sure.
The Colonel here puts up
all the money for our films.
It's an important part
of the process.
Great.
I'm looking forward
to seeing you in action.
Jack says you got
a great big cock.
I don't know. I guess so.
- May I see it?
- Really?
Please.
Thank you, Eddie.
No problem.
Thanks, Eddie.
All right.
You want to hear a poem
I wrote?
I love you, you love me...
going down the sugar tree.
We'll go down the sugar tree...
and see lots of bees...
playing, playing.
But the bees won't sting...
because you love me.
That's it.
That's fucking great.
Did you write that?
- I write songs, too.
- Wow.
How's it going, boys?
Having a good time?
Excellent time.
Thank you, Jack.
- It was a great party.
- The best.
That's what
Jackie's house is for.
- Right?
- That's right!
Coming in.
How about
a little bubbles, Reed?
Excuse me, Jack.
I'm thinking about what
the Colonel said about my name.
I was just wondering
if you had any ideas.
I had some thoughts on it.
What about you?
What do you think?
My idea was
I just want a name...
I want it so it can cut glass,
like razor-sharp.
Razor-sharp. Right.
When I close my eyes,
I see this thing.
It's this big sign...
and the name
is in bright blue neon lights...
with purple outline...
and this name is just so bright
and so sharp...
that the sign blows up
because the name's so powerful.
It says, "Dirk Diggler."
I think Heaven has
sent you here, Dirk Diggler.
I think the angels have blessed
us all because of you.
You're Dirk!
Amen.
Talk to me, Kurt.
- Twenty to thirty.
- Why?
I got a couple of
tough shadows to deal with.
There's shadows in life, babe.
You want to go over this?
The setup is... Here we go.
One, Amber talking to Becky.
They make the telephone
call to the agents...
to send over some actors.
Two, enter Reed
to audition for Amber.
They go at it. Becky watches.
Three, Becky goes
to the bathroom to jack off.
She gets interrupted by Amber.
They go at it.
Four...
Who's Dirk Diggler?
That's that new boy,
good-looking kid...
Eddie at the club.
Good name.
Anyway, enter Dirk.
He meets Becky. They go at it.
Change that, will you?
I want Eddie to be auditioning
for Amber.
Got it.
Darling, where are you going?
I got to go wash my vagina.
How long will you be?
Two seconds.
You want it clean, don't you?
I'm back now.
I'm ready to start.
I'm supposed
to come get you now...
and tell you
that they're all ready now.
Do you think you could
give me a minute?
Thanks.
I'm back now.
I'm ready to start
my acting career.
That's right.
- You look really good.
- Thank you.
And you look really sexy.
Thanks.
- I like your name a lot.
- You do?
- It's really cool.
- Thanks.
You'll be right down there.
Thanks.
How's my boy?
- Great. Let's do it.
- All right.
Remember everything
we talked about?
Now, you're going
to come through the door...
walk right over here.
I'll say, "Action, Eddie."
That will be your cue, right?
You come through the door...
you walk right over to
the desk to Amber, and we shoot.
Do we go right into
the sex or...
Is that all right?
Is it OK with you?
Good.
You don't need a rehearsal?
No. It's OK. I can do it.
Then we'll shoot the rehearsal.
- Great.
- All right.
Could I ask you something?
Can you call me
Dirk Diggler from now on?
- Absolutely.
- Great.
- I'm sorry.
- It's all right.
From now on.
Let's get a good one.
Do you want to practice
your lines with me?
No. I know it.
- You look great, honey.
- Thanks.
Does he want me to keep going
until I come?
Yeah. You just come
when you're ready.
Where should I do it?
- Where do you want?
- Wherever you tell me.
Come on my tits if you can, OK?
Just pull it out and do it
on my stomach and my tits.
Yeah. No problem.
Are you all right, honey?
This is great. I'm fine.
I just want to do good.
I just want it to be
really good.
Is it OK if I really try
to make it look sexy?
Would that be OK?
Great.
You ready?
You're going to enter
through this door right here.
He'll call "Action."
You got the lines for the scene?
If you drop one, just call
for it, but do not stop, OK?
You want some water
or something?
- No. I'm fine. Thanks.
- You're going to do fine.
Roll it, Scotty.
Speed.
Sticks.
Marker.
Camera's set.
We're ready, chief.
And...
Action, Dirk.
Hello. Are you John?
Your agency recommends you
very highly.
I'm a really hard worker...
and if you give me a job,
I won't disappoint you.
What special skills do you have?
I've been in the Marines
for three years.
I just got back
from a tour of duty.
- You're kidding.
- No, I'm not.
It got really hard being
surrounded by guys all day.
How long has it been
since you've had a woman?
- A long time.
- That's terrible.
But I'm back and ready
to pursue my acting career.
As you may or may not know...
this is an important film
for me.
If it's not a hit, I'll get
kicked out of my apartment.
- My landlord's a real jerk.
- Really?
Why don't you
take your pants off?
It's important
I get an idea of your size.
No problem.
I think that you have the job...
but why don't I make sure
of something?
This is a giant cock.
We've rolled out.
We got to change mags.
Do it quickly.
- Kids.
- Is everything cool?
It's going great.
We just got to change the angle.
Does it look sexy?
It's great.
You're doing so good, Dirk.
Does it feel good?
Roll sound, Scotty.
Speed.
Quiet. Sticks.
Marker.
We're back.
Action, kids.
We're going to go down now.
No. Do it again.
John, you're a wonderful actor.
You're amazing.
- You feel so good, Amber.
- You ready to come?
- Come in me.
- What?
Don't worry. I'm fixed.
I want you to come in me.
Oh, God.
Wonderful.
Cut. Terrific!
Nice work!
That's great!
Wasn't that sexy?
Rock and roll!
Really good.
- Looked great. Very sexy.
- Doesn't he fuck like a champ?
- He rocked.
- Thanks, Reed.
- The camera loves you.
- We didn't get the come shot.
We missed the come shot.
He came inside her.
Maybe we could go
to stock footage or...
Are you crazy?
It won't match.
I could do it again
if you need a close-up.
Here we go!
Everyone say, "Dirk."
These are real wood.
I know.
These are the ones.
These are great.
Those are really cool.
Are they lizard?
No. They're Italian.
I'm going to fucking buy these.
Guys!
It's funny you say that,
because we should be in a band.
- You like my shoes?
- They're pretty cool.
I got them with Reed and Scotty.
They're cool, huh?
They're embossed leather
with this reptilian pattern.
Cool.
Can we have some hot sauce here?
Hiya, Scotty.
Sit down and help yourself.
Thanks.
Say hello to Jaimelyn.
- You're a Leo?
- That's right.
My girlfriend wants to meet you.
- Is that right?
- This is Raymond.
How do you do?
What's your name?
- Becky Barnett.
- Excuse me?
- Raymond's a Leo.
- I knew it.
- What's your sign?
- I'm a Pisces.
What?
I can't deal with no Pisces.
That shirt's pretty sexy, too.
This is
imported Italian nylon...
and it's a special edition
limited silk print...
and it was done by this really
famous design artist.
Pick a card.
What's up, baby? I love you.
Bitch you later, baby.
What table's that going to?
Four? Five, Jose.
What's happening, my man?
You alive, man.
What's up, people?
Rise from the deck.
Damn! That's...
Two of diamonds, right?
That's my card.
That is incredible.
Doesn't it make you nervous
dealing with those evil forces?
- Horses?
- No. Evil forces.
Evil? No, man.
It's not evil.
It's an illusion.
Yeah, it's confusing.
Thank you.
Listen up, kid.
We're going to try and do this
all in one shot.
We start like this,
and you roll her over, Dirk.
Rollergirl,
you roll right over with him...
but try to give me every single
position. Is that possible?
If you wrap your leg around...
The other one, the left leg...
around and over. Good.
See, we can go
right into doggy style.
Perfect.
Is the movement of the waterbed
a problem?
No, not at all.
I dig it. It's great.
OK, can we do this?
All right, everybody,
here we go.
This is going to be great.
Do you want me to use
the Spanish accent?
"Jack Horner has found
something special...
"in newcomer Dirk Diggler.
"Another stellar sexual standout
from Horner and company.
"Diggler delivers a performance
worth a thousand hard-ons.
His presence when dressed
is powerful and demanding."
"When stripped to the bone...
"Diggler's more eruptive
than a volcano on a bad day.
"Amber Waves' ripe cherry lips
do a wonderful job...
of handling Diggler's
wide load."
"And Reed Rothchild's
stiff biceps...
do a slapping good job with
Becky Barnett's supple ass."
"But Diggler remains
the standout in this film.
"It's easy to predict
that after only two films...
that Diggler's suck-cess can
only grow and grow and grow..."
What else?
That's it for now.
Look at the character
Holmes came up with.
And look, I just...
Tell me.
I don't like seeing women
treated that way.
This guy he plays, Johnny Wadd...
it's always about
slapping some girl around.
It's not right. It's not cool.
It's just not sexy.
It's not sexy like it should be.
This guy's more
a James Bond type character.
You know, he's classy.
He's a world-traveled guy.
I like that.
Reed could play my partner.
I like that a lot.
We could make it really good.
If you direct it, we make
a series with a whole story.
It's exactly
what we've always talked about.
Please?
When we get back...
set up the typewriter.
We'll see what comes out of it.
I have to talk to the Colonel
when we get to Vegas.
And you got to work
on the Colonel, too.
You got to be committed.
I'll do whatever I have to do.
Does this character
have a name?
His name is Brock Landers.
His partner's name
is Chest Rockwell.
Those are great names!
And the award
for best newcomer goes to...
Yes! My baby boy!
And the award
for best cock goes to...
Here we go again.
The award
for best actor goes to...
I've seen all his movies, and
I can't wait to work with him.
Wow. I don't know what to say.
I guess...
Wow. I guess
the only thing I can say...
is I'll promise
to keep rockin' and rollin'...
and making better films.
It seems we make these movies,
and sometimes, you know...
they're considered filthy
or something by some people...
but I don't think that's true.
These movies we make,
they can be better.
They can help. They really can.
I mean that.
We can always do better.
I'm going to keep trying
if you guys keep trying.
Let's keep
rockin' and rollin', man.
Marker.
Set.
Shot of tequila, straight up.
I've been in this place
for twenty minutes...
just to get a seat.
Are you alone?
Yeah. Just visiting L.A.
Some people told me the food
in here was really good.
Good? It's not good.
It's probably the best place
to eat in Los Angeles.
- It's excellent.
- I certainly hope so.
I could die of starvation before
I get something in my mouth.
Still hungry?
Starving.
Why don't you feast on that?
Oh, it's true.
What's that?
You are Brock Landers.
Freeze! Don't make me
chase you, Raphael!
Freeze!
We're almost there.
Here's what I want.
I want you to trim the head.
Dump that shot of Reed
with the revolver.
And switch the title card.
I want it to come flying out
of the screen at the audience.
Nice. Piece of cake.
That's my guy.
I told him, "This is
a special party for Scotty J.
I want your lightest,
bubbliest champagne."
So this is
what he gave me, Scotty.
Take a little sip of this
and tell me what you think.
This is supposed
to be really good stuff.
Here. Take a sip.
Isn't that pretty light?
What do you think, huh?
Beautiful.
Great. Look how spacious it is.
Look, I like this, too.
That's custom-made.
Real imported Italian leather.
- Very unusual.
- Watch this.
- What's that?
- My initials.
That's so imaginative.
How'd you think of that?
I was thinking of my name
one day and dreamt it up.
How are you?
I'm almost finished.
Looks great.
I used a little poetic license
to capture your essence.
Looks great, Jessie.
It's good for conversation.
Jessie did
that oil painting as well...
and Buck is still installing
the stereo.
- That's a beanbag.
- You're kidding.
And that lamp,
those are real sterling silver.
They have
a very modern feel, too.
This could be the place
you could have conversations.
You ready? Ta-da!
It's my dojo.
It's all Asian.
You have an Asian dojo.
It has that whole karate feel.
It's very comfortable.
A lot of ancient China.
I have my statues
for my best-actor awards.
A good place
to keep your awards. I'm glad.
Yeah. Look at this.
- Oh, that's handy.
- Can you see yourself?
It's great, huh?
My whole entire wardrobe.
That's great.
It's all perfectly organized
by color and designer.
You don't have to think
about it or anything.
No. It's all ready.
You're going to love it.
This is my favorite thing
in the whole entire world.
You ready?
Close your eyes, please.
Yeah, baby.
- Isn't it beautiful?
- Oh, God!
This is it.
This is the thing.
You deserve this, baby.
Isn't it great?
This is the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.
Want to go for a ride?
She rocks!
You set us up, Chico.
You want to fuck with Raphael
and Ringo, that's your business.
You don't fuck
with Chest and Brock!
You know what?
You're not even worth it!
I gave you a chance!
I trusted him.
Well, we almost solved the case.
At least the women are safe.
Let's go get some
of that Saturday-night beaver.
No one fucks
with Chest and Brock.
This is the best work
we've ever done.
It's a real film, Jack.
It feels good.
You made it fly.
You know, this is the film...
I want them to remember me by.
Thank you.
As far as I'm concerned,
it's all about love, you know?
I mean, if you love someone,
how hard can the world be?
People will come and go,
and so will problems...
but ultimately, if you have
got love on your side...
and it is just...
I mean, it is just deep down
in your soul...
what's a problem going to be...
that takes your attention
away from that?
Do you understand?
I'm Becky Barnett.
I'm Jerome.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too, Becky.
So what do you do?
I'm in the auto industry.
Yeah, I'm a regional manager
over at Pep Boys.
Oh, wow! That's great.
That's great.
You've got
a really nice smile, Becky.
Thank you... Jerome.
The Colonel.
Excuse me.
Floyd Gondolli.
Great you could make it.
How are you? You look happy.
I'm fine.
Meet boys... Tommy, Pete.
Meet girls... Cyndi, Angie.
These are the next stars.
These are the real people
in the world.
I think we ought to do that talk
with Jack now.
Maybe iron this thing out
before we start the new year?
Let's do it.
What were you thinking?
What were you feeling?
Did you do research?
What are you
talking about here?
Nothing.
You want to come with me
for a little while?
- Where?
- It's a surprise.
Yeah. Let's go.
Excuse me, Jessie.
Hey, Buck.
Hey, Jessie.
How you doing?
- You sitting alone?
- Yes.
Todd Parker!
Rockin' Reed Rothchild!
- Aw, you made it!
- Yeah!
An amazing party, man.
Fuckin' chicks everywhere.
You bet.
Courtesy of Jack Horner.
I wouldn't mind having a piece
of that action over there.
Michelle.
I'll introduce you.
Sure. Introduce her to my lap.
Did you get off work, man?
Don't dance Sunday nights.
Right.
Whose 'vette is that
out in the driveway?
Dirk. I'm so jealous.
That shit's jammin', man.
Start down low
with a 350 cube...
3.25 horsepower,
4-speed, 4-10 gears...
10 coats of competition orange
hand-rubbed lacquer...
with a dual-plane manifold...
Full fuckin' race cams.
I'm pretty happy with it,
you know.
It's a great look for you,
I think.
It's pretty original,
you know, I think.
Right.
Take this off.
What were we talking
about before?
- Oil painting?
- No.
No... Yes.
I mean, but I was saying that...
Oh, sunsets.
Right, yeah.
I was saying I love sunsets.
But sunrises are better.
Exactly.
I thought I was the only one
who felt that way.
- No. I feel that way.
- Really?
Yes, really. Have you ever heard
my stereo system?
I'm going to open
my own business.
- Really?
- Yes.
It's my dream, OK?
It's hi-fi stereo equipment
at discount prices.
It's called
Buck's Super Stereo World.
That is a fucking great idea.
Yeah. The Eighties,
that's when it's gonna happen.
- Really?
- Really. The 1980s.
Wow.
I wanted you to come in
and give me a minute...
so I could tell you
how much I love you.
I mean, it's going
to be a new year.
We're going to start things
and do things...
and I just wanted you to know
how much I care about you.
I really care about you, honey.
You're my little baby.
Thank you, Amber.
You're the best thing
that's happened to me...
since my son went off,
and I just...
I love you, honey.
I love you, too.
Fuckin' 1980, you know?
Can you believe it?
I can't. It's, like,
the next thing you know...
it's going to be,
like, 1990 and 2000.
I mean, can you imagine?
Good-bye, 1979.
Hello, 1980.
Make sure you snort it back...
real quick and hard.
Like this.
It burns.
It's good, though, right?
It's going in my throat.
That's the drip.
The drip's the best part.
It tastes like aspirin.
Here. Do one more
in the other nostril.
I need a drink of water.
One more...
and then a drink of water.
Do you think
I look cool when I do it?
Let's talk about the future.
Let's talk about what it really
means to this industry...
and let's talk about
how all of us, not one of us...
how all of us
are going to profit.
Now, I've been doing theater
in San Francisco, San Diego...
about as long as you've been
doing stag and hard core.
We're all familiar
with your biography, Floyd.
No one doubts your credentials
or your history.
Then why the resistance?
This industry is going to be
turned upside down soon enough.
- Why help it?
- Why not be prepared?
The Colonel's got the money.
You got the talent.
I got the connections
to the equipment...
and the mail-order
distribution...
not to mention
those kids out there...
who are hot fuck action
to the max, Jack.
This is the future.
Videotape tells the truth.
Wait a minute.
You come into my house,
my party...
to tell me about the future?
That the future is tape...
videotape... and not film?
It's amateurs
and not professionals?
I'm a filmmaker.
That's why I will never
make a movie on videotape.
I'll tell you something else.
I will never, ever loan out...
any of the actors
that I have under contract.
Wait, Jack.
I'm not a complicated man.
I like cinema.
In particular, I like to see
people fucking on film...
but I don't want
to win an Oscar...
and I don't want
to reinvent the wheel.
I like simple pleasures...
like butter in my ass,
lollipops in my mouth.
That's just me. That's just
something that I enjoy.
Call me crazy,
call me a pervert...
but there's one little thing
I want to do in this life...
and that is to make a dollar
and a cent in this business.
I'm not trying to hurt you.
I'm trying to help you stay
one step ahead of the game.
We're going in circles now...
but we're in familiar territory.
The territory we're in
is the future...
not to mention the cost.
If it looks like shit,
and it sounds like shit...
then it must be shit.
You're holding on too tight.
It doesn't have to look good.
Film is just
too damn expensive...
and the theaters are already
converting to video projectors.
I haven't heard that.
Well, it's true.
Well...
ten minutes before the new year.
I'd like to spend it
with my friends.
We will or will not continue
this conversation.
What's up?
Fuckin' New Year's, right?
Man, right.
Did you see my new car?
You got a new car?
- Want to see?
- Yeah.
All right, cool.
It's out front.
Come on. It's out front.
I want you to meet my friend.
Todd Parker, Dirk Diggler.
What's up, man? How are you?
We finally meet.
I was telling you
about him before.
Todd Parker... he works
at Party Boys Strip Club.
Cool. You're a dancer.
Yeah. I got some moves.
I'm sorry. Are you coming?
Listen, I'll be around
in a little bit.
We can talk then, all right?
See you later, Reed.
When you get by the lights,
close your eyes, OK?
All right.
All right,
just follow my voice.
All right, here,
here, here, here...
Where?
Keep coming.
All right, open them.
This is it.
It's cool!
Yeah!
You want to get inside?
When did you get this?
Yesterday. Actually I had it
painted yesterday...
so the paint might still be
kind of sticky.
This is great, man.
You want to go for a ride?
Wait. Fuck.
Hell, how much time is left?
I'm sorry, Dirk.
What the hell
is the matter with you?
Why did you do that, Scotty?
You look at me sometimes.
I want to know if you like me.
Of course...
Yeah, I like you, Scotty.
Can I kiss you?
Please?
Can I kiss you on the mouth?
- No!
- Please let me.
- Scotty!
- I'm really sorry.
I didn't mean to grab you
like that or scare you.
- It's all right, man.
- Do you want to kiss me?
- What is the matter with you?
- All right, forget it.
I'm really drunk. Really, I am.
I'm out of my head.
I'm really wasted.
Really, Dirk.
I understand, man.
I'm crazy right now.
I'm really crazy.
Do you want to go back inside?
Do you like my car, Dirk?
What? Yeah.
Because I wanted to...
I wanted to make sure
you thought it was cool...
or else I was going
to take it back.
- It's great, Scotty.
- Happy New Year.
I love you.
I really love you.
I love you, too, Scotty.
Let's go back inside, OK?
All right. All right.
Fuckin' idiot.
I'm a fuckin' idiot.
Two minutes, pops. Two minutes.
Come on, Little Bill!
OK, Becky. I'm...
Little Bill! Smile, man!
Right.
Little Bill, champagne?
Aw, thanks.
That's really nice of you.
- Happy New Year.
- To you, too.
Hey, Kurt,
have you seen my wife?
No. Hey, they're doing
that countdown thing.
Come on in, man.
We need something
to make a toast.
Hey, Little Bill, look at me.
Ten, nine, eight...
seven, six, five...
four, three, two...
What about your character
Brock Landers...
and what some people consider
violent attitudes towards women?
Violence?
No. What...
I mean, if there's
a certain amount of...
you know, violence or action
in this series of films,
you know, that's the movie.
If Brock Landers
is slick with a gun...
he does so only in the vein
of good and right.
Brock protects the values
of the American ideal...
and fights for causes
that instill pride...
in a society where morals
are hard to come by.
Who sent you?!
Get the fuck off me.
Lie still, or I'll punch you
in the goddamn face!
Get the fuck off!
I'll find out who sent you.
Amber, I live in this world.
I don't like violence
any more than you do.
Violence is a bad thing.
But when you see
violence in films...
it's... you know...
if movies...
films caused violence...
we'd be able to wipe out
violence tomorrow.
Boom. No more films.
That's fine with me.
I'll find something else to do.
I'll fuck on my own time.
You know, I got other interests.
I'm a magician.
That will be something that
I focus on in the future...
because you can't fuck forever.
I realize that.
Anyway, violence...
is something that plagues us
as a society.
The fine line is,
I'm playing a character.
You know, I mean,
I'm Dirk Diggler.
Brock Landers is a character
that I'm playing.
I'm going to ask you once more,
and I'm going to ask you nice.
Where the fuck is Ringo,
you bitch?
Fuck you.
Why do I love him?
He's very special,
and he can fuck hard...
or he can fuck,
like, really gently.
He's the best.
I think that's... that's...
part of my reason
for doing this, you know.
I've gotten thousands
upon thousands of letters...
you know,
from people telling me...
"God, you've taught me this...
and you've made our love life
so much better."
And this isn't go out
and have sex...
with ten million people
and how to get a girl off.
It's about how to get
your wife off.
If only people could have
been doing this before...
we could have saved
a million relationships.
I've saved thousands.
Blocking,
an idea of movement...
Jack will put
the final touches together...
for what the camera needs
for editing and stuff...
but he allows me
to block my own sex scenes...
gives me the freedom to develop
the character and stuff.
God, I don't know any other
director who'd let an actor...
you know, do that.
You know?
I don't allow him to block
his own sex scenes.
It is. It's jealousy.
It's deceitfulness.
It's vindictiveness.
It's all of that stuff,
you know?
But I mean, God, what can you
expect when you're on top?
It's like Napoleon.
When he was the king...
people were just constantly
trying to conquer him...
in the Roman empire, so it's...
history repeating itself
all over again.
To all the critics out there...
I know they're going
to be reviewing this...
and I know they're going
to try to knock me.
I just want them to know...
Is it OK if I say this
into the camera?
I only am who I am
because I was born that way.
I have a gift, and I am trying
to not be selfish about it...
but to use it, OK?
If you want to knock me
for that, it's your own problem.
Jealousy will get you nowhere.
I'm going to keep rockin' on.
For Dirk Diggler...
the future is something
to look forward to, not to fear.
He is a creative man
of many interests...
film, poetry, karate,
music, dance.
He is a man
of passion and mystery.
He is a man of lust.
It's my poem to you.
It's good, Amber.
It's really good.
You're a director now.
So have you shown Jack yet?
No. I wanted you
to be the first.
It's really good, Amber.
Congratulations.
Thanks, baby.
The only thing
I was wondering is...
you might want to cut that part
where Jack talks about...
About blocking the sex?
That stuff about me not being
a black belt is not true.
Yeah. I can fix that.
- Ace of spades.
- How'd it turn out?
Are you sure?
Hey, how was it, man?
What?
Look, slow down.
Guys, guys, guys.
Slow down, Colonel.
Say again?
I'll be right there.
So?
Let me tell you, Jack.
I don't mean
to laugh about it...
but she was 15 going on 150,
believe me.
She was. You would
never know it, never know.
I was fooled completely.
I've had a few of them.
Anyhow...
You do believe me,
don't you, Jack?
Yeah, I believe you.
Anyway, so I take her home,
Jack...
you know,
and I got her there...
and I tell her not
to do so much coke...
but she must have done
twenty lines in five minutes.
It's like a vacuum in her nose.
Just going up like crazy.
Anyway, she's got
all this stuff going on...
and the next thing,
she stopped...
something must have
broken up there...
because blood poured
all over the place...
all over the sheets
and everything.
Just pouring out. Oh, Jack.
All right,
you thought she was older.
You didn't do anything.
She was just at your place.
You didn't do anything, right?
- Right. Nothing.
- You didn't do anything to her?
Not a thing. You know me, Jack.
I didn't do a thing.
- You didn't do anything?
- I didn't do anything.
All right, nothing.
But they...
they found something
at the house.
What?
There's something that's...
Jack, it's my fuckin' weakness.
They're so small,
and they're so cute...
and they're so adorable.
I just can't help it when...
Jesus Christ.
Listen,
I don't touch them, Jack.
I don't touch them
in any way, honestly.
Jack, please.
All right.
Now you think I'm an asshole.
Jack, let me tell you this.
I love you, Jack.
I'm your friend.
There's one thing
I want you to do, though.
Jack, come on.
Tell me that you're my friend.
Just tell me.
Am I your friend?
- I do.
- I do, too.
I now pronounce you
man and wife.
Listen, I'm dying
to do a movie with you.
I'll tell you
what comes to mind.
What comes to mind is,
I am the ultimate Latin lover.
There is no Latin lover
like me. You understand?
Once you get Maurice
as the Latin lover...
Have you ever been
to Niagara Falls?
That is great!
That's so great, you guys.
It's an opportunity for me
to run the store my way.
Just get those guys off my back.
Exactly.
I'll run the store my way.
Are you guys
moving to Bakersfield?
- Yeah.
- Soon?
Aren't your folks
from Bakersfield?
Hey, guys,
we're losing these two.
- Wow.
- You like it there?
Big promotion!
You look at the movies
and say, "Hell, I can do that."
I can do it.
It's a little more complicated
than that.
It's a tough racket.
Dirk, you made it.
- Hey, Jack.
- How you doing?
Good. Who's that?
Hi. I'm Johnny Doe.
You're... Dirk Diggler.
It's great to meet you.
Johnny's the new boy
on the street.
He's interested
in show business.
He's very tired.
And he's shy, you know?
So like I said,
it's a tough business.
You got a great kisser...
but there's a lot of work
involved, a lot of people.
We all have to work
our buns off.
Know what I mean?
It takes sixteen guys
just to do the lighting.
No, it's crystal, man.
You just want to do bumps.
Shut up, man.
Hey, you guys.
- What?
- Just saying hey.
Yeah, whatever.
Oh, man.
You all right?
It's getting me
fuckin' high, man.
It's that carpet dope.
The kind of dope
they used to put carpet in.
They'd mix it up
in the bathtub...
and while they were mixing it up
in the bathtub...
they'd drop in
a hunk of carpet into it.
It's a lot better
than that pink shit.
The pink shit's fuckin' weird.
They put fish scales
in that shit.
You look good.
You ready?
Come on.
I am a star. I'm a fuckin'
rock and roll star.
Man, I got to get hard.
Come on. Fuck.
Please don't do this to me.
No, please. Come on.
I'm a star.
You ready?
I was born ready.
Come on.
I'm ready to shoot.
Twenty minutes, huh?
No. I'm ready now.
It's got to be now.
Twenty minutes, babe.
Fuck it. Hey, Jack.
I'm ready to shoot now.
My cock is ready.
I want to fuck.
Twenty minutes.
I want to fuck.
Who's it going to be?
What?
Who do you want
to start fucking? Me or him?
- Me? What?
- Shut up, OK?
I didn't do anything to you.
You're not even an actor, man.
You got no business being here.
Yes, I am.
No, I'm an actor, man.
Shut up!
What?
Stop this Mickey Mouse
bullshit.
I want you to go in there.
I want you to cool off, OK?
Just cool off, and we'll
come back and shoot the scene.
I said I'm ready to shoot.
Not now.
I'm not going
to tell you again, Jack.
I'm not going to shoot you
in the state you're in.
What do you mean, state?
State of California?
I know where the fuck I am.
Jesus Christ,
you've been up for two days.
I haven't been up for two days.
You look like
you haven't been to sleep...
so I ain't gonna shoot you
because you don't look good.
You know what?
You don't tell me anything.
- Really?
- You're not the boss of me.
- Yes, I am.
- You're the king?
Don't you fuckin' touch me, man!
- Dirk, honey...
- You shut up, too.
You're not the mother of me,
and you're not my boss!
You're not my mother!
You're not my fuckin' mom!
I'll take you home.
No.
I'm ready to shoot the scene.
I want to shoot the scene.
I'm fine.
I want you out of here.
Look, it's over, OK?
I'm done.
Listen to me, kid.
I want you...
Don't you fuckin' call me a kid!
I'll fuck you up! You want
to see me kick some ass?
I know fuckin' karate!
You're fuckin' fired!
You're fired, you goddamn kid!
Jack, what the hell...
You know what?
No, no, no.
You know what?
I'm the biggest star here, man.
That's the way it is!
I want to fuck!
It's my big dick!
So everybody get ready
fuckin' now!
You know what?
I don't need this shit!
Fuck you! Fuck all of you!
You're not my boss!
You're not the king of me!
I am the fuckin' king of Dirk!
You're nothing without me, Jack!
You're fuckin' nothing!
Fuck this, man!
I don't need this shit!
Dirk, wait. I'm so sorry, Jack.
I'll take care of this.
I'll straighten him out.
OK, Dirk, you ready?
I was born ready, Nick.
Let's go, man.
- Dirk Diggler demo...
- Keep the vocals up.
You Got The Touch, take seven.
Excuse me, Reed.
You got the touch
You got the power
After all is said and done
You never walk, you never run
You're a winner
You've got the moves,
you know the streets
Break the rules, take the heat
You're nobody's fool
You're at your best
when the goin' gets rough
You've been put to the test,
but it's never enough
You got the touch
You think the bass
is taking away from the vocal?
No, not really. Maybe.
It sounds balanced to me.
It's definitely taking away
from my vocal.
Just take the bass down
and bring up the vocal.
OK, let's do it, Nick.
You heard him.
You want to take it
from the top?
Yeah. Let's try it.
Heat will rock you
And heat will roll you
Baby, don't you know?
My heat will move your soul
Come on, come on,
come on, come on
Love me today
Love me tomorrow
All day
All night
You feel
My heat
Feel, feel, feel, feel my heat
I think we should repeat
that again.
Feel, feel, feel, feel, feel
Feel my heat
Yeah.
It's definitely cool.
Let's lay it down. Nick.
You want to lay it down?
Were we rolling
on that rehearsal?
Is he going to fuck me
in the ass?
Is that what you want?
It would be nice.
Fuck her in the ass.
Lock and load, Jack.
I was gonna take a pottery class
at Everywoman's Village.
I want to do that.
Mondays, Wednesdays,
and Fridays at 3:00.
I was thinking something.
I was going to see
about taking the G.E.D.
Do you know what that is?
For high school, to graduate.
I never got my diploma.
I feel bad that...
I think you were right
about that.
You should do it, Rollergirl,
because you know what?
If you wanted to,
you could do anything.
- Mr. Swope.
- Yes. That's me.
Do you have
your loan application?
- Do you want to follow me?
- Yes, I do.
Kurt, are we gonna
have any more coverage on this...
No. We keep shooting.
This is video.
We shoot and shoot,
and then we deal with it later.
All right, now, Summer...
I want you to take Skye's
thong off.
Actually take it off.
That's good. And finger it.
That's good. Lick the thong.
That's really good technically,
but it lacks passion.
I want to see some passion here.
Yes, bitch!
Yeah, that's it. Lick my balls.
Fuck me.
Who's your daddy, bitch?
You'll live.
I'm back.
Perfect timing.
What the fuck
took you so long, man?
Fuck.
That's what Buck's
Super Stereo World is about.
It's about the customer
who wants to know...
what they're
getting into technically...
and I have the specific
technical hi-fi background...
to answer any technical question
somebody's going to have.
I've been in sound equipment
long enough to know exactly...
what a guy wants when
he walks through that door...
and that's the kind
of personal touch...
that Buck's Super Stereo World's
going to have.
I miss my two sons.
I miss my little Andrew
and... and my Dirk.
I always felt
like Dirk was my baby...
my new baby.
Don't you miss Dirk?
He's so fuckin' talented,
the bastard.
You know, I just...
I love him, Rollergirl.
I really love the stupid jerk.
I love you, Mom.
I want you to be my mom, Amber.
Are you my mom?
I'll ask you
if you're my mom, OK?
And you say yes, OK?
Are you my mom?
Yes, honey.
Hold on.
Come on, all right?
All we need is the tapes, Burt.
No. You don't get them
until you pay.
In our situation, that doesn't
make any fucking sense!
Wait! We can't pay
the price of the demo tapes...
unless we take the tapes to
the record company and get paid!
Hello?! Exactly!
That's not an M.P.
That's a Y. P... your problem.
Come up with the money,
and I'll give you the tapes.
That's it.
All right, now you're talking
above my head.
I don't know this industry
jargon... Y.P., M. P... whatever.
All I know is that I cannot get
a record contract.
We cannot get a record contract
unless I take these tapes...
and granted,
the tapes themselves are your...
You own them, OK?
But the magic
that is on the tapes...
that fuckin' heart and soul
we put into those tapes...
that is ours,
and you don't own that.
I need to take that magic and
get it to the record company.
And they're waiting for us.
We were supposed to be there
a half-hour ago.
We look like assholes
right now, man!
I don't want to do this
anymore, honey.
I can't.
Let's have fun now.
Let's just go and go and go...
because it's over.
There's too many things.
Let's go walk.
I don't want to leave this room.
Me, either.
- I love you, honey.
- I love you, Mom.
Let me explain to him...
in simple arithmetic...
one, two, three!
Because you don't
fuckin' get it, Burt!
You give us the tapes.
We get the record contract.
We come back and give you
your fuckin' money.
Have you heard the tapes?
Have you even heard them?
We're guaranteed a record deal.
Our stuff is that good!
Now I got it. Now I understand.
You want it to happen...
but it's not going to happen
because it's a Catch-22.
What the fuck does that mean?
What is a Catch-22, Burt?
Catch-22, gentlemen.
Think about it.
You know what
I'm thinking about, man?
I'm thinking about
kicking some fuckin' ass!
Scotty, get him out of here!
Thanks a lot for
backing us up, too. Real good.
Fuck!
We can't help you.
I have all the papers, though.
Everything's in order, yes?
Yes, but we can't
give you a loan. I'm sorry.
I don't understand.
Why can't you give me the loan?
Mr. Swope,
you're a pornographer.
This bank is not in business
to support pornography.
I'm not a pornographer.
I'm an actor.
- I'm sorry.
- Please.
This is a new business for me.
All right? It's a real thing
that I want to do.
It's a real thing that I can do.
Please.
I'm sorry.
We did everything right.
Honey, it's OK.
Just wait a minute.
Let's just take a minute, OK?
You have something to say.
I have something to say,
all right?
Let's just talk, OK?
If there's something I didn't
fill out correctly on this...
or if there is something
I left out...
or something maybe
you want me to write on there...
just tell me what to write.
I'm sorry.
You're not being fair!
This isn't fair!
This financial institution
cannot endorse pornography.
Stop saying pornography!
Why are you doing this to me?
Please! Please!
I'm sorry.
I am an ac...
I am an actor.
Come on.
Aaron wants that thing
for the thing from...
You fix it up.
Who's your daddy?
How is it?
It is what it is.
Suck that cock, bitch.
You must be Maggie.
Kathleen O'Malley.
I'm the judge.
You have a lawyer with you?
No, I don't. I do not.
Hello, Judge.
Good morning, Counselor.
You've been divorced
for six years?
Yes, since 1977.
The money settlement
has been taken care of?
So what we're
talking about, then...
is coming to an agreement
on the custody of...
of Andrew.
What was decided
during the divorce?
Initially, Andrew
was to go with his father...
for visitation with his mother
from Saturday noon...
to Sunday at 7:00 with his
mother entitled to bring him...
to her house
or any reasonable place.
Was that the understanding?
Why wasn't that visiting
privilege honored, then?
It was for a while.
I only saw him twice.
It said "reasonable place."
I didn't think
that a house of prostitution...
and drugs and pornography
was that.
I'm sorry?
My wife
is in the pornography business.
I didn't think that environment
was a safe place for my son.
No, this is not right.
My son was never exposed...
to drugs or pornographic
material or any of those things.
My husband just assumed...
I saw it with my own eye,
Maggie.
Did you register a complaint?
My client didn't officially
register, Your Honor...
but I think the circumstances
call for immediate action...
for the safety of the child.
The problem is, Judge,
is that my ex-wife...
she's a sick person,
and she needs help.
She deals in sex and drugs
for a living.
No, I don't do drugs.
Your Honor, she has been in and
out of trouble with the law...
on several occasions
for this sort of thing.
Not anymore.
Have you ever been arrested?
When was the last time
you were arrested...
and what was the charge?
OK, let's get ready
for this... experiment.
Hi. Jack Horner here.
We're in the back
of this beautiful limousine...
in the back seat riding west
along Sherman Way...
and beside me is a beautiful,
talented, gorgeous...
young actress
from adult cinema...
Miss Rollergirl.
Are you ready to get on
with this experiment?
Ready like Freddy.
Yes. And we're going along,
like I said...
west on Sherman Way...
and this is called
On The Lookout...
that's the name of this show...
on the lookout
for a young stud...
who maybe will get
in the back seat here...
and get it on
with Rollergirl.
We're going
to make film history...
right here on videotape.
Waiting for someone?
I'm waiting
for somebody, but...
I'm not sure
if they're going to show up.
You want to wait in the car?
Cool.
I'm Joe.
You know who I am?
My name's Dirk Diggler.
I mean, you're a guy.
I'm just helping you out.
What do you see here?
I see a girl.
Do you like what you see?
Yeah, I do.
Get in...
and let's make film history.
So...
what do you want to do?
It's what you want to do.
I want to watch you.
I mean, I'm not gay.
I just want to...
Maybe you could jerk off,
and I could watch.
Maybe I'll join in later...
but for now,
I just want to watch.
Twenty bucks.
Ten's all I have.
Go to school?
Yeah, I do.
Where do you go?
Is it OK if I don't tell you?
That's cool.
You recognize Rollergirl
from her films?
We watch her films a lot
at my frat house.
I go to CSUN.
Wonderful.
The fuckin' guys
will never believe this.
We've done
a bunch of films together...
Rollergirl and I.
Do you remember me?
We went to school together.
Your name's Brandy, right?
Brandy's your name, right?
I don't know
what you're talking about.
Your name's not Brandy?
Can you do it harder?
Do it a little faster.
All right.
You're hiding her again.
Let's get on the other side.
That's it.
Just nice and sexy.
Listen, pal...
make it a little more sexy.
Don't just ram it in like that.
She's not a hole in the wall.
This is Rollergirl.
Faster.
Do it faster.
Get your hand wet.
Be quiet.
Can you be more sexy?
Like, cinematically sexy.
Just don't ram it.
Don't...
Be respectful.
This is Rollergirl.
Are you listening to me?
Just let me do my thing.
This is stupid.
That's it. Cut.
Pull over.
I can't fucking believe this.
You gave me a hard-on.
The least you could do
is jack me off.
What the fuck did you say?
I said it's not cool to leave me
with a hard-on.
Fuck you.
I don't fucking believe this.
This is a fine life
you've made for yourself.
You really should be proud.
I mean really.
Fuck you.
And your fucking films
suck now anyway.
Come on.
I can't.
I can't get it hard.
I just can't. I'm sorry.
You shouldn't do
this sort of thing, faggot.
Get him out of the car!
Jack, Jesus!
Get him out of the truck!
You shouldn't be
coming down here!
- You piece of shit!
- You faggot!
Amateur fucker!
Come on!
You don't ever disrespect me,
fucker!
You don't ever disrespect me!
Motherfucker!
Look at you now, huh?
That's what you get, you faggot!
You think you can fuck?
You can't fuck me!
You can't touch me!
Stop it!
You don't do this, donkey-dick!
Fucking faggot!
You don't ever disrespect me...
you fucker!
You fucking piece of shit!
You fucking...
Fucking die, you shithead!
What do you want?
I want an apple fritter,
jelly...
chocolate with sprinkles...
and a bear claw, too.
And hurry.
How's my little
kung fu fighter?
He's kicking ass
inside my stomach.
See? That's a boy.
Di!
Ki!
Be right back.
What's up?
Can I help you?
I'm going to get a dozen.
Let me get
a couple of bear claws...
and...
a couple glazed.
Oh, apple fritter.
Not that one.
The one in front of it.
That one.
Two chocolate.
Old-fashioned, yeah.
Give me two of those.
Is this...
Did you do this
for the Christmas?
That's cute.
Give me two of those sprinkly
Christmas things.
That's great.
- How many is that?
- That's eleven.
Empty the cash register!
Now, motherfucker, and hurry up!
Jesus Christ.
Shut the fuck up!
Hurry up with that shit!
Empty the safe, too, asshole.
And I ain't got all night.
Don't even move.
I'm not moving.
Shut up!
Don't fucking move.
I'm not...
Shut the fuck up.
Don't do that.
You shut the fuck up!
Give me the shit.
This could be the thing...
something to help us
score a little extra cash.
The guy's name is Rahad Jackson.
He's got more money than God.
He's got twice as much
coke, crank, and smack.
All right?
This guy's going to buy anything
anybody wants to sell him.
Just likes people
hanging around at his house...
partying, the whole thing.
How do you know him?
Used to come to the Party Boys
a lot. Mutrix introduced me.
How would we do it exactly?
How would it all go down?
It's going to go down like this.
I'm going to call him
on the phone and tell him...
I got a half a key
of quality stuff.
Do you have his phone number?
So I'm going
to call him on the phone.
I'm going to give him a price.
How much?
It's half a key.
It's, like, 5,000 bucks.
We'll split that up three ways.
It's enough to get
the 'vette fixed.
That's right.
So we're going to do the deal.
We're going to drop half a key
of baking soda into a bag.
We're going to walk over there.
We're going to...
Right there.
This is going to be a nifty
little bit of hustle-bustle.
Do you have his address?
I got his fucking address.
Question. Sorry.
What if he tests the stuff out?
He won't.
How do you know that?
Because I know he won't.
I'm positive.
You guys should be careful.
What?
What do you mean, what?
Just mind your business.
What the fuck?
Sorry.
Anyway...
Dump it in there good.
You can't lay this all on me.
We're going to go in there.
This is it. Fine.
You guys ready for this?
I am.
Me?
I was born ready.
All right.
What the fuck is that?
- It's a big gun.
- But why?
Just in case.
Shit!
You never said anything
about a gun.
Now I'm getting nervous.
Do you have a gun, too?
I don't have a gun.
Let's just get
in and out, all right?
Not too fast.
It makes it look suspicious.
God damn it.
You all right?
Just let me do all the talking.
Just be cool.
How you doing? Come on in.
Hey, man!
Hey, Rahad.
Hello, friends!
Which one is Todd?
That's me. We met before,
down at the Party Boys.
Come on in.
These are my friends
Dirk and Reed.
Good to see you. Take a seat.
You want something to drink?
A little pill, a little coke?
You sure
you don't want something?
So...
got something?
We got something here?
Here it is.
That's about half a key there.
That is some quality shit...
Don't worry about him.
If you want to test that out...
Wait.
Love this part.
You're motorin'
What's your price for flight?
So anyway, what's the price?
We...
I don't know... five grand?
That's cool.
Five grand.
You guys want to play baseball?
No, thank you.
The black guy
has a gun in his jacket.
Let's just get the fuck
out of here.
Count the money in the car.
You want to see something
really fascinating?
Check it out.
That's sweet.
That thing's not loaded, is it?
- Not yet.
- Is that silver?
- Look, we...
- Let's see what happens now.
Could you not point the gun,
please?
Why? You think I can't do it?
Wait!
You think I can't do it?
You dare me?
No, we don't dare you!
Fucking dare me!
Thank you. Thank you.
Your fucking faces.
What the fuck?
I love this thing.
I make these little mix tapes.
I put all my favorite songs
together.
Which one is this?
Number eleven.
I love it.
When you buy
a tape or an album...
the bands put the songs
in some fucking order...
like they want you
to listen to it in that order.
I hate that.
I don't like to be told
what to listen to...
when to listen to it...
It's Cosmo.
He's Chinese.
That's why he likes
lighting off firecrackers.
Jessie is a friend
Yeah, I know he's been
a good friend of mine
But something's changed,
it ain't hard to define
Jessie's got himself a girl
And I want to make her mine
And she's watchin' him
with those eyes
And she's lovin' him
with that body
I just know it
Ricky Springfield.
He's a buddy of mine.
...late at night
You know,
I wish that I had Jessie's girl
I'm so jealous.
I want to have Jessie's girl
She should be with me!
Why can't I have a woman
like that?
I play along with the charade...
We're leaving.
Right?
You know, I feel so dirty
when they start talking cute
I want to tell her
that I love her
But the point is probably moot
'Cause she's watchin' him
with those eyes
And she's lovin' him
with that body
I just know it
And he's holdin' her
in his arms late, late at night
You know,
I wish that I had Jessie's girl
I wish that I had Jessie's girl
Where can I find a woman
like that
Like Jessie's girl?
I wish that I had Jessie's girl
Where can I find a woman
We're leaving.
We got to split.
We got to go.
You just got here.
We got somewhere else to go.
We're not leaving yet.
We're here now, and we want
something else from you.
We want something else from you.
What?
What the hell are you doing?
Let's just go.
In the master bedroom...
under the bed...
in a floor safe.
Understand?
What is the matter with you?
Let's go.
Shut up, Dirk.
I told you I got a plan.
Are you kidding me, Kitty?
No, I'm not.
I'm not kidding.
I want what's in the safe.
We want
what is in the goddamn safe...
in the goddamn master bedroom...
in the goddamn fucking
floor safe.
Don't be crazy, OK?
We don't know anything
about this.
This is not at all
what we wanted.
Shut the fuck up.
Do not reach for your gun.
Don't reach for your gun!
He went in the bedroom!
What are you doing?
He went in the bedroom.
Did you go crazy?
He's got coke, and he's got cash
in that safe...
and if we leave here without it,
we're idiots.
We came here to do something...
and we can do it, all right?
Are you with me?
Listen to me!
Let's just split right now.
This is not supposed
to be the thing!
That's what
we came here to do...
and that's what
I'm going to do right now.
Fuck you!
Don't be stupid!
Come on!
Come on, you puppies!
It's coming down for puppies!
Come back!
Shit!
Fucking son of a bitch!
Oh, God.
Oh, fuck!
Fucking stupid motherfucker!
Bitch.
Could you please help me?
I'm...
I just wanted to come
and say sorry.
And...
I just want to know
if you can help me.
I need help.
And...
I'm sorry, you know?
I need help.
I'm sorry, too, kid.
It's OK, baby.
We all need to start again.
It's OK.
You're all right, baby.
Did I hear someone say deal?
This weekend
and this weekend only...
Buck's Super Cool Stereo Store
is making super-cool deals...
on all name brands.
We're open. We're ready.
All you need to do is walk over,
get down, and come inside us.
Word.
Cut.
Excellent.
That was great.
I said shut up, Colonel!
Cinco...
cuatro...
tres...
dos...
uno...
Dale!
Wait!
No, that's a "Q"!
That's supposed to be a "G"!
Oh, man!
Go!
What the heck?
Naughty, naughty, Candi.
Let's push.
Come on, baby.
Go, go, go. Push, push, push.
God almighty, fucking Christ!
Don't cuss, sweetie.
Just push, all right?
Last big push for the doctor.
Big push. This is it.
I got it!
He got it!
It's a boy!
No hurry.
Just sometime this year, huh?
Put it where I told you
to put it.
You've got to turn the fan on.
It smells good, doesn't it?
It smells like shit.
This is Puerto Rican cooking.
Everybody's complaining
in the whole neighborhood.
This is what they're
complaining about. Taste this.
Not now. I'll taste it later.
Honey, honey.
Take the dirt
on one side of your room...
and move it
to the other side of your room.
Then one side will look clean
that used to look dirty.
Then that will be good, huh?
Johnny Weissmuller!
That's my swimmer!
Say, "Hello, Uncle Jack."
Who is the Olympic-fever baby?
Say, "Hi, Jack."
"Watch me kick."
He's not going
to piss in the pool?
I don't think so.
I got to talk to you...
about the stereo modification
for this system.
No technical shit.
If you don't get
the right modification...
it's not going to be loud.
I don't want loud. I want...
Mellow.
That's what I want.
Great, honey.
Are we ready?
We've got all the time we want.
What are you looking at?
I'm looking at you.
You're staring.
You know what I'm staring at?
I'm staring at the foxiest bitch
in the whole world.
I've been around this block
twice now.
I'm looking for something.
A clue.
Been looking for clues,
and something led me back here.
So here I am.
Could have been me
that was at Ringo's place...
when the shit went down.
I know how it is.
I've been there.
We've all done bad things.
We've all had those guilty
feelings in our heart.
You want to take
your brain out of your head...
and wash it and make it clean.
I'm going to help you
settle this.
First we're going to check
for holes, see what we can find.
Then we're going
to get nice and wet...
and you're going
to spread your legs.
That's good.
So you know me.
You know my reputation.
Thirteen inches is a tough load.
I don't treat you gently.
That's right.
I'm Brock Landers.
So I'm going to be nice.
I'm going to ask you
one more time.
Where the fuck is Ringo?
I am a star.
I am a big, bright,
shining star.
That's right.