1
Yeah, this is a story of famous dogs.
For the dog that
chases its tail will be dizzy.
Dog.
- Hey, you. I left somethin' on your desk.
- I've got it.
- Yo, man.
- Man, when are we gonna hang out?
We gonna hang out soon.
Slow down with that thing, Bony.
- Mornin', ladies.
- Hi, Marcus.
- So I'm here on the right. I'm like this.
- Yo, man, I'm tryin' to work.
- Hey. Whassup?
- Yo. Whassup?
- I'll see y'all at lunch.
- OK. Peace.
Good morning.
Hey, stranger, nice to see you again.
Morning, cuteness.
How you doin'? Whassup?
Morning. Morning. Morning.
- Good morning.
- Morning.
- Hey, you.
- Hello.
- Morning, Noreen.
- Good morning, Marcus.
Do me a favour and send a single
long-stemmed rose to Carrie, Tracy,
Miranda, Cassandra,
Alegra, Shirrel and Mai-Lai.
- With the usual card?
- "Thinking only of you."
Right. You have a meeting
with Lady Eloise tomorrow at nine.
- Cool.
- Nelson's waiting. And Anita called.
I forgot.
Will you get her on the phone?
- Sure.
- Thank you.
- Nelson.
- Hello, Marcus.
I can't wait to show you this.
I have recut the Kissable spot.
You recut it? But is it sexy?
Is it sexy?
It is sexational.
- I like it.
- Good.
I like the orange,
and I like the ice cream.
You gotta get rid of
the cherries and the banana.
Cherry and banana? But that's a little
Buuel, a little Dali. It's... you know.
It's too overt.
We should go a little more subtle.
- Some women might get offended.
- All right.
But I dug it. I dug it. Don't make that
"he didn't dig it" face. I dug it.
It just got a little nasty,
like you always do.
- OK.
- All right.
- Nasty Nelson.
- That's me.
Least there wasn't
no sausages in this one.
- Yeah?
- Anita on line one.
Great.
Hey, you.
Let me... Can I explain what happened?
Have you been watching the news?
You haven't been watching the news.
The big accident in midtown,
where the cabs
busted into the other cab,
it knocked into a bus
and a water main bust - I was in that.
It's on the news right now. It just
went off Channel 4, just went off.
Yeah, but I was...
No, I'm cool. I'm all right, yeah.
No, my neck's a little stiff, that's all.
Actually, a massage sounds kinda fly.
Yeah, I'm all with that. That, too.
Can I call you next week? Cool.
Later.
- What's next?
- Casting for the body lotion spot.
Tell the fellas I might be
a little late for lunch today.
Yo, man. I saw somethin'
on cable last night - freaked me.
There was this woman, right?
Baby had body.
She's lyin' there, totally naked, right?
You could see everything.
But she had a dick, man.
Fucked me up.
It was a 976 number
for hermaphrodites.
You're talkin' about 9-7-6-D-l-C-K,
Chicks With Dicks.
How could you put that in your
mental Rolodex? He's a closet freak.
- You got problems.
- You're comin' out.
- Yeah.
- No, man, I was just, you know, kiddin'.
Oh, man. That ain't regular, man.
There's a whole world out there
we don't know about.
Like the shit you read in Penthouse -
that stuff never happens to me.
Man, stuff like that never happens
to anybody, except for Marcus.
The only reason stuff like that happens
to me is I pay attention to women.
- Y'all don't pay attention to women.
- I pay attention.
- You have to study their movements.
- Get outta here.
- It's an art form.
- I can't do that, man.
- That's why you get no pussy.
- Exactly.
Tyler, there's other things
in life besides sex.
Sharing, commitment. You gotta get in
touch with your feminine side like me.
Startin' to sound a little on the soft side.
Startin' to sound soft.
- Borderline bitch.
- You know what your problem is?
You need more romance
and less Doberman pinscher.
That's true. You have
too much dog and no romance.
Don't even try that.
You ain't got no romance.
Excuse me. I am the most romantic cat
both of you know.
When I meet a woman, I am flowers,
I am candy, I am soft music...
And Mr Milk-Bones.
I am Mr Romance
when I meet a woman.
Once I hit it, I lose interest.
But that ain't my fault.
So, in other words,
right at that moment of orgasm,
all the romance just
skeets right outta you.
No, but you can't put that on me.
The onus is not on me.
- Hi.
- How are you?
- Good.
- You have a beautiful accent.
- Where are you from?
- Holland. Nice meeting you.
- Nice meeting you, too.
- Bye.
Bye-bye, cuteness.
I'm from Detroit.
Shit, that shit makes me mad, man.
Bitches never do that to me, man.
Maybe it's because
you call them bitches.
Yeah, man. You need to straighten up,
show some respect, man. Come on.
Yo, man. Excuse me.
Excuse me, waitress.
- Yeah.
- Look, I ordered the duck, right?
- Yeah.
- What vegetable comes with that?
That's a good one. It's sauted
asparagus spears, and it is good.
- Flavour.
- Delicious. Yeah.
- That sounds good. Oh, God.
- You'll love 'em.
- All right.
- That sounds good.
- "That sounds good." Come on.
- What?
Why don't she just come out
and call us jungle bunnies?
- What?
- Asparagus spears.
- What?
- For white guys, it'd be asparagus tips.
- Racial, man. Racial.
- Man, you trippin' now.
- No, you trippin'.
- Definitely, definitely. No, you def...
You are gonna have to process
some of this anger, man.
- No.
- Yo...
- Y'all excuse me.
- You know what?
You need to get in touch with Tyler,
and say "Tyler, I love you, man".
What? Nigger, please.
OK, go take your walk, honey.
I'll give you $20 for that leash.
Take it, fool. Turnin' down good money.
Yes, baby.
Kirby.
Kirby.
Come on, Kirb.
- Kirby.
- Did you lose your dog?
Yeah, I lost a white springer spaniel
with brown spots on, named Kirby.
- Real energetic dog. Did you see him?
- I haven't seen him.
I only took him off the leash
for a couple of seconds.
Kirby.
- He's like a family member, you know?
- I know. I feel the same about Brutus.
- I love my Brutus.
- I can see why.
- Do you walk him here every day?
- Yeah, I do.
Could you do me a favour? My name is
Marcus Graham. Here's my card.
If you bump into Kirby, could you call?
I'll have somebody pick him up.
OK. Well, good luck.
I sure hope you find him.
Thanks.
Kirb.
Kirby.
Let me give you my number. I won't
sleep until I know you've found him.
- Do you have a pen?
- Do I?
I have a pen right here, and...
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Bye-bye.
- Good luck.
Bye-bye.
Kirby?
Kirb?
Kirbster?
Marcus. Marcus.
I know you hear me, you slimy, sleazy,
sneaky, slitherin' son of a bitch.
Keep it down. I'm gettin' ready
to have some company, OK?
- So, who's the victim tonight?
- Yvonne, I don't feel like playin'. Stop.
Why don't you just tell her you're gonna
use her, then dump her like you did me?
Excuse me. Excuse me.
I did not dump you.
We went out, it was whack,
and it was your fault, and I wish...
Look, why don't you get over it and go
find another man? Get outta here.
I hope you catch a disease
and your dick falls off.
I'd expect you to say something crass.
Don't forget I have the court order
for you to stay away.
- I'm gonna call your probation officer.
- Court order?
I don't give a damn
about no court order.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Nice to see you again.
- Nice to see you, too.
- Wow. Nice place.
- Thank you.
- Where's Kirby? Kirby. Kirby.
- He's at the groomer's.
He got caught under a truck
and got grease on his coat. He's OK.
- You look great.
- Thank you.
Gold star for Marcus.
Dinner was yummy.
I never met a man who cooked so well.
How'd you learn how to cook like that?
Well, you kinda pick those things up,
you know, when you're...
when you're alone as much as I am.
Really?
Yeah. See...
Marcus.
Marcus, you know you wrong.
You no-good... Marcus.
Let's go in the living room. We'll be
much more comfortable in there.
- OK.
- Come on.
Girlfriend.
Girlfriend.
Girlfriend.
Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
- A scared little boy named Marcus.
And he's just dying to come out.
He's been hurt, too, hasn't he?
Tell me about him.
Tell me all about Marcus.
Well, I haven't been out with anybody
in about two years.
Not since Debra -
that's the girl I almost married.
Day of my wedding, I went to the
church early, cos I had a bad feeling,
and I go in the back,
and that's when I saw it.
She was on the ground
with the best man.
And the priest.
Freakin'.
You poor baby.
Yeah, that's when I realised
that you can't trust anybody.
You can trust me.
I'm not ready for this.
I think I should take you home.
I think it's best.
I can't tell you how helpful this
has been. Gold star for Christie.
Thanks. You really
helped me in here. I felt that.
- You don't have to thank me. Come on.
- No, no, I shouldn't come in.
- Come on.
- Christie, don't. I shouldn't be in here.
I'm not ready for this.
Are we by ourselves?
- Of course we're by ourselves.
- Christie.
- Marcus, spend the night with me.
- Christie, no, it's just too soon. I c...
I just don't wanna be hurt again.
I won't hurt you.
Please be gentle.
- So what happened with this girl?
- Man, she was beautiful.
She was beautiful,
but her feet were jacked up.
- Were they?
- Yeah. I pulled the covers back...
- Yeah?
- ..it was Hammer time.
I should've known. I seen
her shoes had little bumps on the top,
but I thought it was an old shoe.
You'd never think a woman that fine
would have Hammer time in her shoe.
Come on, man, you don't fuck her feet.
I hope I'm not outta line, but don't you
think you were just a little bit too picky?
- Yeah.
- What happened with Tracy?
You met that girl.
She's not very smart.
- Come on, you don't fuck her brains.
- I'm looking for perfection.
- Hi, Marcus.
- Hey.
- Yo, Marcus.
- What's up?
Hey, you on your way to meet Lady
Eloise to discuss that merger, right?
- How do you know everything?
- I read it in your office.
You not supposed to be in my office,
or goin' through my mail, OK?
No, man, I wasn't goin' through your
stuff, man. Here. Hold it up. Hold it up.
- You're gonna read right through?
- Right through.
It says "..lunch tomorrow
at Houlihan's".
Open it up.
"How about lunch at Hou..."
v ery impressive.
Told you, man. Told you, man.
Check this out, man.
I been workin' here nine days.
I been on time, even when it rains. Don't
you think it's time we talked promotion?
Come on, man. I get my own office,
man, bring my ho's in here.
We have a little party,
set this motherfucker off, man.
Marcus Graham.
Lady Eloise? I can't tell you how
excited you got everybody up here.
You're like a breath of fresh air. I've
never seen everybody so excited. It's...
Lady Eloise? I think you requested
to see me. Marcus Graham.
I know.
- May I have a seat?
- Please.
Keep standing.
The rest of my administrative team
will be arriving tomorrow.
However, when I decided
to take over this company,
I considered you a prime asset.
Thank you very much.
We need strong department heads
to oversee this merger.
- Beet juice?
- No, thank you.
It keeps the skin tight,
and none of us are getting any younger.
Well, some women have a girlish
quality that lasts a lifetime.
I've always heard you were
very beguiling to women.
But my schedule is also very tight.
Meet me at my house tonight.
Todd, see to it that
he's at Lavender Hill.
- Good evening, Mr Graham.
- Good evening.
Lady Eloise has been
eagerly anticipating you.
Marcus Graham, Lady Eloise.
Marcus, darling.
Welcome to Lavender Hill.
Lady Eloise, I cannot begin to tell you
how happy I am to be working with you.
I grew up using your products - my
mother used your products, you know.
You were in my medicine
cabinet all my life,
and now I'm, like, working with you,
and it's just very exciting.
I find it very exciting as well.
I'm lookin' forward to a long,
strong, productive relationship.
You know, I don't wanna
blow my own horn...
but I'm really qualified.
You shouldn't have to
blow your own horn.
You should leave that
for someone else to do.
Marcus, darling.
Wouldn't you like to
get a little bit more...
comfortable?
Yeah, sure, why not?
Wouldn't you like to
get out of that tight shirt?
Yeah, I was just
thinking about doin' it myself.
You know, it's a little bright in here.
Wouldn't you like to dim it, make it
a little more romantic, you know?
Could you get it just a little darker?
Excuse me. I'm sorry to bother you,
but I just had to say somethin' to you.
You're breathtaking. You're the most
gorgeous woman I've ever laid eyes on.
I had to come over and meet you.
- I'm sorry.
- Why are you laughing?
I'm sorry, it's just that
what you said was pretty pathetic.
- That was not pathetic.
- Come on.
I mean, if I walked up to you and I said
"Excuse me, sir, I'm sorry to bother
you, but, well, I just had to meet you
because you are the most handsome,
the most virile man I have ever seen
in all of my entire life,"
now, would you believe me?
Honestly? Yeah, I would,
but that's just the way I am.
- I'm going to work.
- OK.
- OK.
- Well, I'm goin' this way, too.
It's not like I'm followin' you.
I'm goin' upstairs too.
I'm goin' to the 18th floor, too.
You're auditioning for one of
the commercials. Are you a model?
No. No, I'm not a model.
I'm gonna go work for the company.
- Really?
- Marketing, yeah.
Really? That's my department.
I'm Marcus Graham.
You're Marcus Graham?
You're Marcus Graham?
This is pretty funny
that we're meeting like this.
- I'm sorry, I'm Jacqueline Broyer.
- OK.
- I'm a huge fan of your work.
- Thank you very much.
You're very, very talented.
You was treatin' me like my name was
Stanley. But you're a fan of my work.
I'll let you in on a secret
cos you're a pretty girl.
When this merger goes through, I'm
gonna be in charge of all of marketing.
You are?
Marcus, I'm afraid that there's been
some kind of misunderstanding.
I'm sorry. You see,
I'm in charge of marketing.
No, that's impossible.
Sorry.
I'm the logical choice. I'm vice
President of Marketing for Chantress.
Good morning. Thank you.
I know, but I'm director of marketing for
Lady Eloise, and we are acquiring you.
But I had a very good indication
from someone that the job was mine.
- Really? From whom?
- From Lady Eloise. Lady Eloise.
- Really?
- Yes.
Marcus, Lady Eloise
doesn't make any decisions.
She's the name on the package.
- No, it's her company. The Lady Eloise.
- She hasn't run it for 15 years.
All of the decisions are made
by the board of directors in Paris.
But it's Lady Eloise.
She has no power.
She's a very sweet woman.
She's a little detached from reality.
You should see the way she just...
she throws herself
at young, handsome, virile men.
Are you tryin' to imply that I hit it?
No, I see...
- Marcus, darling.
- How you doin', Lady Eloise?
I don't have any panties on.
Lady Eloise, please, we have a meeting.
Can we just please go?
I'm sorry.
It's warm in here.
Just cos somebody takes off their
drawers, don't mean I did somethin'.
- So, yo, man, you gonna quit, right?
- Of course he's gonna quit, man.
That's right. Say
"Look, girl, I'm outta there".
That's what I'm thinkin' about doin'.
I'm thinkin' about steppin'...
There she is, right there.
- That's her?
- Yeah.
Psych. Yo, you can't quit, man.
You gotta stay.
- Yeah, she's bad.
- Hello, Marcus.
- Hello, Jacqueline.
- You look great.
- And so do you.
- Thank you.
This is my man Tyler,
and this is Gerard. Jacqueline.
This is Angela Lewis. She works in
our art department. She's very talented.
I think the two of you should
probably be working together.
- Excuse me, Jacqueline. It's that time.
- Thank you, Todd. Nice meeting you.
Marcus, would you join me
for a second? Thanks.
Come on, girl. Get on.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have
a very exciting announcement to make.
Since 1948, the name Lady Eloise has
been synonymous with glamour, grace,
sensuality, and stunning natural beauty.
In the next century,
that tradition continues.
Introducing the new face
of Lady Eloise cosmetics: Strang.
Yes.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- How are you?
- Good. You look lost. Can I help you?
I'm just looking for Jacqueline,
basically, is what I'm doing.
You're interested in her, right?
- Now, what would make you say that?
- Most men are. She's fantastic.
I mean, if I were a guy, I would
probably be interested in Jacqueline.
- If you were a guy.
- Not that I have those thoughts,
because I don't, I'm just saying she's
attractive and I would go out with her.
Women do stuff like that. You say
"She's cute" or "Her hair's nice",
but guys don't go "Look at his
shoulders". We don't do that.
Sure you have. You've seen a movie,
and you've seen a man and you've said
"There is a nice-looking man."
You have.
I can't believe we're havin'
this conversation.
I saw Billy Dee Williams
in Lady Sings the Blues.
He came down the steps,
and I thought he was cool,
but I didn't wanna get with him,
you know. That's a whole entire...
Wait, I have someone you should meet.
Gerard. I think I met someone
that's perfect for you.
Why don't you guys come chitchat? I...
Hi.
Good evening, boss.
Please do not call me that.
I want you to think of me
as your colleague.
So tell me something. Are you excited
about working with Strang?
Stop. You know I didn't come up here
to talk about no Strang.
I came up here to talk to you about us.
I'm rapping. This is my mack-daddy vibe
I'm giving you, in all of its splendour.
- What's up?
- Really?
Yes. I mean, eleganz a
mack daddy of the month.
I see. Well, let me get a good look.
Check it. Just like Jet magazine.
- Whassup?
- You are absolutely wonderful.
But I think that we should kind of
make this clear right from the start,
so there's no misunderstanding.
You see, I don't date men I work with.
- Well, then, I quit.
- You can't quit
because I need you.
No, hon, wait one sec.
You have an eyelash. It's gonna
go in your eye. Wait. Come here.
- Are you all right? Huh?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- Tryin' to seduce me.
- What?
- That was very seductive.
- What?
- You know...
- You had something in your eye.
- I saved your eye.
- No, no, no, no, no.
I know what it's like when
you have somethin' in your eye.
Your mother opens your eye and blows.
Your eyeball comes out.
It was never like you just did.
Come on. That was very seductive.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no. No.
And let me assure you of something.
When I seduce you,
if I decide to seduce you,
don't worry, you'll know.
- Yo, Marcus.
- Hey, man.
Me and the minimum-wage
brothers in the mailroom
wanna know how long do you think it'll
take you to bone that new executrix.
I need to know cos we got
a little office-pool thing.
Look, that's very crass.
Miss Broyer and I are colleagues,
and I have great respect for her.
It's professional. Totally professional.
So what you sayin', man?
It's gonna take a week?
Not you, Marcus, you the man.
- I hate it.
- But this fragrance tested very well.
Jacqueline, I said I wanted
the essence of sex.
- Yes.
- Well, I think this is it.
You would.
But let me show you...
what I'm talking about.
- Unbelievable.
- This...
is the essence of sex.
Lloyd. Come on, Lloyd. Wait, Lloyd.
Lloyd, man. Lloyd.
Lloyd, look, wait. Look, wait, hold it.
Come on, man. Wait, wait, wait.
The fragrance is fine.
Nobody's changin' anything.
That woman doesn't
deserve her own fragrance.
Do you think Liz Taylor would have
thrown her panties in my face?
You could ask her, Lloyd.
Look, it was a joke.
I'm just tryin' to be... I'm being funny.
Come on, look... All right, Lloyd?
Marcus. You're a devil.
I love you. Come on back.
Please! You make me feel ridiculous.
It's mon image, c'est mon visage.
Alors. And you, where you been, you?
- I had to go...
- Shut up. Look at this.
This is ridiculous.
Why are my concepts being ignored?
I'm not a fool.
I know what the people want.
They want to be shocked, they want to
be stunned, and they want to be jolted.
So, I have prepared a list
of names for the fragrance.
"Wet Spot". No, sorry.
I crossed out that one.
"Love Puss". "Pig Puke".
- "Afterbirth".
- After what?
"Afterbirth".
- I'm sorry, I thought you said "bath".
- No. It's English. B-l-R-T-H. Birth.
I was just making a distinction
between "birth" or "bath".
- Birth, birth, birth.
- Thank you, darling.
Don't make fun of me, OK?
My English is not so good.
"Steel v agina".
- You understand that one.
- Yeah.
"Steel v agina" - marvellous.
What do you think?
- I...
- Those are really creative.
- Thank you.
- But the name of this fragrance
has to be something
that catches the eye.
It has to incite passion,
and it has be electric,
and it has to say glamour,
and it has to say sexy.
It has to say smart. It has to...
Wait a minute.
Strang.
Your name is all of those things.
You're powerful, you're glamorous,
you're sexy, you're intelligent.
That's what we should call
the perf... Strang. Strang.
- Strang.
- Strang.
- Strang.
- Strang.
OK, OK, OK, OK.
- I like it.
- Strang.
Strang.
Strut, girl, strut.
Go on, girl. It's you, girl.
Work it, girl. Strang girl.
Thank you for introducing me
to Gerard. We're goin' out tonight.
Now, that's some good news.
That's good news. Great.
You do realise we're never
gonna be able to control her.
Why would you wanna control Strang?
We'll get more coverage that way.
Strang is buck wild.
Yes, you're probably right.
We've got this meeting
in New Orleans on the 24th.
All of the sales reps are gonna be there.
There's a lot of work to be done.
Yeah. OK, so, we'll have dinner
or somethin', go over it.
Marcus.
- What?
- Come on.
Stop. Excuse me. Excuse me.
You're... Wait a minute, wait a minute.
If we were both men,
we could have a business dinner.
You're the one flippin' this into
a man-woman thing. I said dinner,
and let's discuss our workload.
That's what I'm talking about.
- Just dinner?
- Just our workload over a meal.
We've got a hell of a load.
- OK.
- Dinner?
- Dinner.
- OK, I'll see you at dinner.
Great.
- Hey.
- Hey. You're here. I was gonna leave.
- I didn't think anyone was home.
- I'm sorry. I dozed off.
Come on in.
- You look great. You're all dressed up.
- You're lookin' casually fine tonight.
- Let me get that coat for you.
- Thank you.
v ery nice.
Marcus, this is a very nice place
you have here.
Thank you very much.
Thank you. Check out over here.
- That's a big, wonderful bed.
- Yeah, well, I need my space.
- Yeah.
- Cool. Music.
Have a look around.
Go check out upstairs.
What you're trying to say is,
Marcus is a...
A ho. He's a straight-up ho.
- Don't... Come on, stop.
- He's a no-good barking mutt.
- Really?
- Nothin' really happened between us...
- She's crazy.
- No, this is very interesting.
- She's bugged.
- v ery interesting.
I ain't crazy. Hey, girlfriend.
Don't let him do it to you. He got a plan.
What, you 'bout my size, my height,
my weight? Doggy style.
Doggy style. I know, girlfriend. I'm tryin'
to help you out. It's a sister thing.
Damn.
- Wow, you look great.
- Thank you.
You look neat.
- Thanks.
- Come on in.
- Yeah. These are for you.
- Thank you.
This is wild. Man, did you do
all the decoration yourself?
Every bit. I know you think
it's a little weird...
- No, no, no.
- It's really...
- It's eclectic. Yeah.
- Eclectic, yeah.
- So you like it?
- v ery interesting.
That's a mask, a Goli mask.
I got it from Africa.
That's weird. I didn't know
Africans were into hockey.
No, no, no, no, no.
Goli is the name of the tribe. The tribe.
It's a joke.
You know, the secret to my salmon is
the rosemary in the butter sauce. Cos...
Excuse me?
You were saying something?
I use fresh rosemary on my salmon.
That's why it has that...
I'm sorry, Marcus.
My mind is actually someplace else.
The Knicks game starts in a minute. Do
you mind if we eat in front of the Tv?
- No, not at all. Sure.
- No? Great.
OK, do you want Italian, or Indian?
- So, like, women like guys that just...
- Yeah. Decide.
All right, I'm gonna decide.
I will choose Chinese.
- No.
- That's cool. Whatever you say.
Sorry.
- I'm bein' indecisive.
- Yes. You're being indecisive.
Can I ask you, like,
a personal question?
- Sure.
- Do you like kids?
I love kids. I paint kids.
So, do you wanna have a lot
of kids when you get married?
I want a huge family.
At least ten children.
Ten children?
That's not a family.
That's an African village.
This is absolutely ridiculous. Are you
watchin' this? This is incredible.
I'm goin' to get some espresso.
You want some?
No. No, no, thanks.
Listen, Marcus. While you're up,
will you grab me a beer?
Thanks.
All right, I had a wonderful evening.
- Thank you. So did I.
- Even though we never got to eat.
I know, but next time,
I'll take control. I'll order.
- So, next week, dinner?
- You got it.
Followed by hot, butt-naked sex?
Just kidding. I'm just kidding.
So, now's the most difficult
part of the evening. Kiss goodnight.
I know. But I got an idea. Count from
five backwards real fast, and go for it.
- All right. Close your eyes.
- Go.
Five, four, three, two, one, go.
God, I'm sorry. I missed.
- I guess I'll have to do it again.
- No. I'll do it.
OK.
- Goodbye.
- Night, Angela.
- Night. Thank you.
- See you next week.
Bye.
Adios.
Bye.
It's Korean for "I'm sorry I shot you, but
I thought you were robbing my store".
Bye-bye.
What an incredible evening.
Did you see Jordan's last shot?
The man must've been 60ft up, huh?
Yeah, he really can jump.
Want me to come get a cab
with you or somethin'?
No. No. I'm fine.
- But you can walk me to the elevator.
- What a treat.
- Yo, man, she a lesbo.
- Man, the term is gay, all right, Tyler?
Just cos she won't sleep with you
doesn't mean she's gay.
- She's not a lesbian, OK?
- Yo, man, it's been about three weeks.
She's not a lesbian, man.
Personally, if I was datin' somebody
that fine, I'd wait eight or nine months.
You could wait eight or nine years and
you'd never have no woman that fine.
You wild. But at least my lady didn't
leave me for no damn Guardian Angel.
Why you do that, man? I'd have fucked
him up but they do that karate shit.
Come on, stop. You gonna
give the brother a heart attack.
- Breathe. Let the brother relax.
- I'm sorry, man. I was just playin'.
Can I ask you somethin' though, man?
Did you bang Angela yet?
Good question. Good question.
Angela and I are just tryin' to get to
know each other on a platonic level.
OK. So, in other words,
you ain't hit the twizzer.
- Not a drop.
- Twizzer? What's that?
Another one of your colloquialisms
for a vagina, Tyler?
You think, just cos I have a low sperm
count, that I can't function normally.
But I don't know why it's low. It should
be high. You ain't shootin' nothin'.
Man, will you stop? You shouldn't make
fun of the afflicted. He got a problem.
- He got handicapped balls.
- Stop that, man.
A very well-known doctor told me that
by wearing the proper underwear, man,
that will cool my testicle walls,
and that can reverse my condition.
OK. Well, let me get you some Icy Hot.
Howdy Doody.
At least I have had sex in the '90s.
- What's that?
- You know what.
- Don't even try. You know I gets mine.
- Brother, please.
You are the no-pussy-gettingest,
talkingest-shittingest cat I know.
Marcus, yo, don't even try it.
You know me, for real.
And all I'm sayin' is that
if you ain't bangin' Jacqueline yet,
there's somethin' wrong with her,
or somethin' wrong with her twizzer.
There's nothin' wrong with Jacqueline,
and nothin' wrong with me.
It's gonna take
a little longer than I thought.
- Are you OK?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
These sales conventions are really
boring. I'm not lookin' forward to it.
Yeah, but we're going to New Orleans.
Have you ever been to New Orleans?
No. It seems like it's a sexy town.
Yeah, it's a real... it's a romantic town.
You know? It's the kind of place where
you just take somebody that you love,
and just sit back, relax,
throw on the jazz, and just chill.
You know?
That's something you can do when
Jacqueline gets to town, you know.
- Now, where'd that come from?
- I don't know.
Where did that come from?
Who said that?
I think you said it. It sounded like it
came out of your mouth, from nowhere.
I just, you know, I think you're cool.
I like you, and
I was just being concerned.
- All up in my business.
- I wasn't tryin' to pry, really.
- Do I look like the kinda girl to pry?
- Not five minutes ago,
but now you look like the one.
If you looked up "pry" in the dictionary,
there'd be your picture next to it, like...
Look who's cookin' now.
Marcus.
- What's the matter with you?
- Stop it.
- What?
- Stop.
OK, OK. Stop it, Marcus.
I think that we should go home.
Let's go home.
Well, that was pretty great, huh?
Yeah, pretty great.
Well, you enjoy that mint.
I hope it's refreshing, and chocolaty.
My key won't work.
Shit.
Hey, Marcus.
Why don't you come here for a second?
I'm not playin'. My key really
is not working. You know?
Please?
Yes.
Yes.
- She even has pretty feet.
- Oh, yeah? How's the coochie?
- Man, that is crass.
- May I help you?
No, we're OK, we're just browsin'.
- He's trippin'.
- Look, I'm a realist, right?
If the coochie's good,
everything else falls into place.
It's more than sex with this girl. I dig
her - her spirit, her mind, everything.
You know, she could be Mrs Graham.
You think I'm jokin'. She's that bad.
Marcus is in love.
Yo. Yo, I'm gettin' this, Marcus. Step off.
That jacket is $1800.
No refunds.
- What, you think I can't pay for it?
- Well, there is no layaway plan.
We're OK. We don't need any help.
We don't keep cash in the store.
- He's a sucker, man.
- Racial.
- You right, man. Don't even trip on it.
- No refund?
What's he think, you're gonna wear it,
stink it all up to be damned,
- and, like, give it back to him?
- We can't get over this...
There are certain people
with a natural fear of black people.
They're programmed. Watch. Now!
See how frightened he was, just from
a black man screaming "now"?
He thought it was the end of the world.
- What do you think?
- People are gonna love this.
I think that this is gonna
be great for her image.
- Well, look at this one.
- Angela. Wow.
- You like it? Really?
- Yes. I like it. I like it a lot.
Great. Thank you. Guess what?
Marcus thinks we ought to go
to the Caribbean to shoot this.
The Caribbean?
That's expensive.
- I know.
- But it's nice. No, it's a nice idea.
- You know Marcus and his big ideas.
- I do.
You know, speaking of Marcus...
I hear he's got a real reputation.
Bony T told you that, right?
Well, Angela,
I can confirm that Marcus's reputation
is extremely well-deserved.
You can confirm it?
Like, you and Marcus have...?
God, this man, he's wonderful.
I mean, he's kind of... he's magnificent.
And he just happens to have
the best ass I have ever seen.
- Hey, babe, you got a sec?
- Marcus, hi.
- Hi.
- Oh, God.
What did I walk in on?
What are y'all talkin' about?
- God, we're talking about work.
- Work.
No, no, no.
You're both blushing. What's up?
Art. Art.
No, there's a girlishness happening.
What's up? Talk to me.
- Some girliness. Girliness.
- Nothing.
- Why you leavin'?
- It's time to go.
- Gerard hit it, didn't he?
- No. Hit it?
- Gerard could not hit it if he had a bat.
- You want to keep it a secret, huh?
- But he hit it. It's Gerard, isn't it?
- I don't know.
I came here to tell you what
a wonderful time I had in New Orleans...
Marcus, hon, I don't think that
we should do this in the office.
- What?
- I really gotta stop.
Get on top of the desk
and get frisky and go crazy.
Listen.
- You're not gettin' serious, are you?
- What you talkin' about? What is that?
Well, you know.
Where you want this to...
to grow into a relationship where...
God, we're together all the time,
stuff like that.
- Are you?
- Excuse me.
I-I know that you're not tellin'
me that New Orleans was a fling.
No. No, no.
I had a great time in New Orleans. You
know I had a great time in New Orleans.
- So what's the problem?
- Well, I just think that...
New Orleans was New Orleans,
and we should leave it at that.
I'm not tryin' to
pressure you or anything.
- No. No. No, no, no.
- I'm not proposing or anything.
- Of course not.
- My tuxedo isn't ironed or nothin'.
- I believe in takin' things slow, too.
- That's what I'm talking about.
I was just wonderin' when we could
see each other again, that's all.
I don't know. I'm kinda busy right now.
I just found out that I'm gonna have to
be spending a lot of time outta town,
so, I'll get back to you, OK?
You'll get back to me?
I don't have my schedule, my
secretary's outta town, so I'll call you.
"Marcus, with regards to us
doing it again, I'll get back to you."
That's a new one on Marcus.
Just don't make me wait too long,
cos it's not like I gotta sit by the phone
and wait for somebody
to get back to me.
No. No, I realise that you of all people
will not be waiting alone,
so I will try and get back to you soon.
You gonna call?
Hello? Yes? Yes?
- Hello?
- Yes?
- Mr Graham?
- Yes.
Miss Broyer asked me to tell you
she is free the evening of the 12th.
The 12th is three weeks from now.
Sorry. That's her first opening.
Should I pencil you in?
Yeah.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Marcus.
Yo, brother, man.
Gold watches, gold chains.
Yo, you gotta show
some gold to get that girl.
I already have a watch.
But thank you. Gucci.
- Brother, that's a nice watch.
- Thank you.
Watch your back.
Can you tell me
what time the show starts?
- Course I am.
- I wanna know when the show starts.
Hold on for a second. What?
What time does the show start?
The show started a half an hour ago.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- You're very good at this job.
- I know this.
Some punk-ass nigger.
Yeah, hi. What time did
Flight 97 from Toronto get in?
Three hours ago? OK, was there
a Jacqueline Broyer on the plane?
You can't give that information?
This is Flight Information, right?
Then why do you call it Flight...?
Forget it. Forget it. Thank you.
Can you see if there've been any
accidents between JFK and midtown?
Well, what the hell is 911 for?
Well, I wanna talk to a supervi...
- Hello.
- You finally decide to show up.
I had some meetings that ran over,
so I had to take a later flight.
And you can't pick up a telephone
and call somebody, right?
I would've called, but they didn't
have a phone on the plane.
I wasted $200 on tickets. Just wasted.
And it's all your fault, OK?
I'm sorry. Why don't I give you
the money for the tickets?
It has nothing to do with the money.
You're bein' inconsiderate.
I was callin' all over New York. You
could've been on a road somewhere.
That's very sweet.
That's very, very sweet.
One of my tricks, OK?
I know the flower thing.
Listen, I'm upset with you. What you did
was inconsiderate, and I'm upset.
Well, maybe I should just go.
Yeah.
I'll go.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Listen...
Look, I had a long day.
You had a long day.
I'm trippin', I'm buggin' out,
and maybe I'm goin' a little overboard.
You dry off. Let's put this whole thing
behind us and just squash this thing.
So, does this mean
that you forgive me?
This means I'm being a bit emotional,
and I acknowledge that,
and we should just squash it.
Well, I think it means you forgive me.
- You have no clothes on underneath.
- No.
You're too much.
You knew you was wrong, that's why
you came over in your drawers.
Cos you knew that it wasn't right.
- It's Jacqueline's.
- Say it.
Jacqueline.
- Whose is it, huh? Whose is it?
- It's yours. It's yours.
Wait, wait, wait,
I don't wanna come yet.
No, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yes.
No, wait, wait, don't do nothin'.
No... Don't you say nothin'.
Don't say nothin'. No, don't touch me.
Don't touch me. Don't move.
Don't do nothin'. Just hold still. Hold...
No, no. Don't, don't. Oh, no. Shit.
You knew I was coming.
You knew I was. You knew I was.
I have to call my mother.
Where you goin'?
Home. I have to give a speech
in the morning to the board of directors.
But thank you. You were great.
God, Marcus, I was so tense when I got
off the plane, but you really relaxed me.
So, Mr Graham, thank you.
You really have to go?
But I'll call you
sometime tomorrow, OK?
Get some sleep.
Call me.
- Would anyone care for some dessert?
- Yeah, I'll have the tiramisu.
- I just want some coffee.
- And for the lady?
I am on a diet.
- v ery good.
- Diet? Diet, schmiet.
Are you crazy? You look great. I can't
wait to get you down to the Caribbean.
I'm not sure I'm going anywhere.
You've gotta go. Marcus has planned
a wonderful trip. We're gonna have fun.
Yeah. I'm gonna make a phone call.
- Go make a phone call.
- Excuse me. Yeah.
I know you were concerned about
how the layout was gonna be,
but I'm picturin' you
and beautiful white beaches,
and powder-blue skies,
crystal beautiful water.
You stand in the middle of it,
lookin' breathtakin'.
So, when are we gonna fuck?
- What?
- According to Jacqueline,
you are really great in bed.
Jacqueline told you
I was really good in bed?
Well, according to Jacqueline,
you really know how to
move your ass, you know?
She told you I know how to
move my ass in bed? OK.
OK, well, I don't know what Miss...
what Jacqueline has told you,
but it's not that kinda party,
and I'd appreciate it if... Stop that.
Stop. Stop it. Will you stop it?
Merde, alors. Man, I don't believe this.
You are going to turn down
a pussy like this?
Staring you smack in your face?
No man can turn down this pussy.
- Will you stop it?
- I don't know any man that can refuse.
Stop saying pussy, people are eating.
Pussy. Pussy.
Pussy. Pussy.
Pussy. Puss, puss, pussy.
Tryin' to find our cat. Where is that cat?
- What's the matter with you?
- You don't like women?
Yes, that's it.
I don't like women. I mean, I'm gay.
You're not gay. You're not gay,
you just don't wanna fuck me.
I know a gay man. I know what
a gay guy looks like. My brother is gay.
And you. You. He's gay.
And he is gay.
- OK, what did you say to her?
- What did I say?
I heard this woman
screaming from the bathroom.
How dare you discuss what I do with
you in bed sexually with that woman?
As soon as you leave,
she starts sayin' she wants to fuck me.
- How could you talk about what I do?
- She said that?
- You said it...
- She's a little off.
She starts talkin' about
how my ass moves. I know you said it.
Don't expect me
to sleep with people for business.
- You did with Lady Eloise.
- Excuse me, that is a rumour.
We do not know if I slept with
Lady Eloise. I had a chitchat with her.
- Please, Marcus.
- Please, my ass.
Don't discuss what I do with you
with other people.
I'll handle this.
OK, Strang, what's the problem?
- I'm not going.
- Now, listen.
You're gonna
have yourself on the plane,
or I will not only take back
the million-two I am paying you,
I will sue you for every goddamn dime
you've got. Do you understand that?
What an absolutely
exhausting evening, huh?
To tell you the truth, Marcus,
I don't feel very well.
Don't touch me. Don't touch me.
You've made me feel dirty.
I don't believe this is happenin' to me.
Look at you. God, Marcus,
you're gettin' yourself all upset
and worked up over nothing.
Nothin'? That's what sex is to you.
Whatever happened to
caring and commitment?
Some people still think
things like that are important.
You've made it painfully obvious
that you're not one of them people.
Well, why don't I give you a second
to think about it, hm?
Really?
Yeah. I think you should, you know,
do your own thing.
OK, Marcus.
It's over.
Good night.
Good night.
Marcus. Marcus. I don't believe the way
you let her dog you out like that.
You're walkin' around
with your head down, mopin'.
Where's your pride?
Where's your dignity?
You think Malcolm X died so you could
walk around lookin' like a chump?
Bony, not today, OK?
Sad, man.
First the Fat Boys break up, now this.
There's nothin' to believe in.
Good morning, Marcus.
Morning.
- Morning.
- Good morning.
Good morning, Marcus Graham.
Morning.
Marcus? Excuse me.
I need the storyboards for the Strang
spots. I'm shooting next week.
- Shoot whatever you wanna shoot.
- Whatever I want to shoot?
It's your show.
- I have complete autonomy?
- You the man.
Thank you. Bless you. Bye.
Excuse me. Jacqueline,
can I talk to you for just a second?
- Yeah, sure.
- I know it's none of my business,
what's going on with you and Marcus,
but can you try to take it easy on him?
Please?
Excuse me?
Well, whatever it is you're doing to him,
it's starting to affect his work.
What I am doing to him?
Yeah.
Well, it seems like whatever it is
I'm doing to him,
you are taking rather personally.
- Am I mistaken? Huh?
- No, Jackie.
I'm just saying, it's just
affecting his work, that's all.
Well, we don't wanna do that.
Thanks, Jack.
We have something exciting coming up.
After months of hard work by our
creative team, you are about to see
the commercial that will launch
our $18 million push
for the new Strang fragrance.
Lights, please.
- How is it?
- I haven't seen it. I let Nelson do it.
This is my vision. It is fabulous.
Fabulous.
Strang.
It stinks so good.
That is ridiculous.
Well, the board
wanted me to let you go.
I convinced them
to give you another chance.
Well, as an employee, I thank you
for saving my job, and as your lover,
- I thank you for ruining my life.
- Come on, I didn't ruin your life.
You ruined your life.
I said this was gonna happen.
I was just hoping
it didn't happen with you.
The only thing that I can suggest is...
perhaps you should
take a few weeks off.
OK.
There's this one kid that you are gonna
love. He is so cute. It'll really lift you up.
Marcus. I am not gonna let you sit and
mope all day long. Now snap out of it.
Have you been listenin' to me?
Cupid has his foot in my ass.
I have the cure for Cupid, all right?
Now, when I have problems with my
relationships, which is most of the time,
I find out that it's better to take the
focus off myself and put it to others.
I don't wanna be around no kids.
I wanna go home and sit in my house
and look at the wall and listen to Sade.
- And that's fun?
- No, but that's where my head is at.
That's where I need to be. I don't wanna
paint. You can't paint my misery away.
- Hi.
- Hi, Angela.
Thank you.
Everybody, this is Mr Graham.
Who did that?
These are kids I teach art to whose
schools can't afford an art programme.
- That's so nice.
- Now, remember last week we saw...
- I'm gonna whup somebody's ass.
- Sit down, Marcus.
Remember last week we looked at
collages from Romare Bearden?
- Yes.
- And what were you supposed to do?
Bring your own collages.
OK, who wants to show me theirs first?
Oh, boy. Kenny.
Assalam alaikum, my brother.
- Greetings, my Nubian princess.
- My king.
This is the sun,
and these are the sunrays,
and this is a big, giant,
huge hole in the ozone layer,
and this is what'll happen to people if
we don't fix up the ozone layer quickly.
That's very Afrocentric.
I like this, Khanya.
- What a lively little thing you are.
- OK, tell us about this.
This is my house. This is the sun.
This is a spear, and this is a shield.
Then we have...
That, right here,
is my fish bowl, and this is blood.
Then these are my clothes,
and these are the fish.
Yeah, why...?
This is the fish bowl up here, right?
And these are the fish, and this is the
floor. Why aren't the fish in the bowl?
- Because I don't want them there.
- But they can't live on the floor.
Art can be very abstract. It doesn't have
to make sense. Only in the artist's mind.
- Thank you, Khanya.
- Thank you for your interpretation.
OK, who's gonna be next?
You cannot tell me you did not
have fun in there with those kids.
I ain't sayin' it wasn't fun,
I just wasn't in the right mind-set.
Mind-set? You didn't think about
Jacqueline once in there.
True.
I bet you didn't think about
the Strang commercial either. Right?
Yeah, you're right. The kids are a little
more inspirational than I've been lately.
Thank you.
- I got an idea.
- What?
I got an idea for the Strang ad.
OK. Slow it down.
Right there.
OK. What do you think?
Well, I like it.
Hold it. Is that a nipple?
- That's not a nipple. That's a shadow.
- That's a nipple.
- Excuse me, that is a shadow.
- I think it's a shadow of a nipple.
Come on. Stop playing. That's a nipple.
- It's a shadow.
- I'll blow it up.
It's a nipple, cos I'm droolin'.
You a little nervous
about meeting Gerard's parents?
No, I'm not. I just don't want them
to think we're a couple, you know.
Don't even trip. Gerard ain't even
that close to his father, first of all.
You know, I knew it.
Gerard is really a fun guy, isn't he?
- He's very much fun.
- It's his father and his mother
that are the square ones.
- Right?
- I got it.
Happy Thanksgiving.
- Hey, what's up?
- Angela's over there.
How you doin', Mr Jackson?
Happy Thanksgiving.
- You look great.
- Thank you. So do you.
Thanks. My parents are here.
- You look just like your dad.
- Thanks.
- I brought you some chitterlings.
- Gerard's mother...
Angela, Gerard's mother brought us
a whole trough of chitterlings.
- I'll take the chitterlings.
- I want a bowl.
This the little girl you been
talkin' about? Agatha?
Angela. Angela Lewis.
- That's what I said.
- Nice to meet you.
Isn't she pretty?
She looks like one of Marcus' girls.
Agatha, go in the kitchen and help
Mrs Jackson with these chitterlings.
Cutie pie.
I have to talk to Mr Jackson.
Mr Jackson, come here.
So good to see you.
Every year, you do something new.
- Where'd you get the mushroom shirt?
- I'm trying to impress you.
I know. Now, where'd you get the shirt?
The secret is you got to coordinate.
Most people don't coordinate.
- See, you got to coordinate.
- That's what you did.
- Interesting.
- See? I told you they don't stink
- when you pull the membrane out.
- Momma.
- You saw me, saw the mushroom shirt.
- I said "mushroom shirt".
See, you can't stop
with the mushroom shirt.
- I would've stopped.
- You gotta keep goin'.
- Now, let me show you somethin'.
- You got on a mushroom belt.
Gerard, did you know your pops
had a mushroom belt on?
- Yes.
- But you don't stop there, see?
- You gotta keep goin'.
- What you got, a mushroom ring?
That's a good idea. Look what I got.
Gerard.
Did you know on the inside
was special mushrooms?
Yes.
Simply delicious, Marcus.
I tell Yvonne she should take cookin'
lessons from you. All she cook is pork.
I'll bet we've eaten everything
on the pig from the rooter to the tooter.
- The whole pig, huh?
- You didn't marry me for my cookin'.
You got that right, baby.
That's why we got junior.
Daddy, please.
Must you embarrass me in front
of my friends on every occasion?
Now, see? That's your son. Private
school got him all saddity like that.
Yeah, man, chill. That's your father.
Mr Jackson, Angela made this meal.
I can't take credit for it. It was Angela.
- v ery good.
- v ery good.
- Good pick, junior.
- Daddy.
I told you that Angela and I
are just friends.
- Just friends, huh?
- Yes.
- Just friends.
- Leave it alone, hon.
They told you that 500 times.
Just let it go.
Fine. We'll change the subject.
Now, Marcus, I hear a girl
at the office got you pussy-whipped.
Why don't you reverse it?
Don't be pussy-whipped.
Whip that pussy. Look.
Daddy, please.
If you really insist on standin' around,
I don't dig the long face.
Man, my parents been in that bathroom
damn near an hour, man.
- So what?
- Well, they been in there hittin' it.
- Your parents are smokin' a joint?
- No, they been in there fuckin'.
Damn. Goodness.
What's for dessert? Wow.
I'm all right, man.
Let's go. Let's go eat, man.
- You don't want me to go with you?
- No, I'd better run them home
- before they embarrass me any further.
- OK.
I had a great time. I'll call you tomorrow.
Mrs Jackson. I cannot tell y'all
how much fun it is to be with y'all.
- So good.
- A piece of coat, I think.
Oh, boy. The rabbit is gettin' old, baby.
Look at that.
We could tear another piece off
and make some earrings. Coordinate.
- Yo, yo. Yo, got a hook-up for tonight.
- Who?
Remember that little girl I met in
Emergency? Baby got her stitches out.
- Well, whatever. I'll rap to you.
- All right. I gotta go.
- OK, bye, Tyler. Take care of yourself.
- See y'all later, all right?
- Later.
- Bye.
- You don't want me to help?
- I got it. Go on home.
OK.
Where's my coat?
Angela.
Yes?
I'm gonna have to
take you up on that offer.
- I thought so.
- Yes.
Chitterling juice everywhere,
and I don't know if I can handle it alone.
I'm so tired. I don't care if I never see
another cup or plate again in my life.
- My feet. Can I take my shoes off?
- Yeah, you can.
You'll have the whole house
smellin' like funky corn chips.
- Please, my feet do not stink.
- Star Trek's comin' on.
- I love Star Trek.
- Do you really?
- Yeah, I'm a Trekkie.
- Get outta here. I'm a Trekkie.
Ain't Captain Kirk the coolest
white man on the planet?
You can always tell who's gonna get
killed. Now, look who's beamin' down.
You see Kirk, McCoy, Spock,
and Yeoman Johnson.
Doesn't Yeoman Johnson know
he's gonna get killed?
If I was Yeoman Johnson, I'd say "I'm
not goin'. I know what's gonna happen".
It's amazing how you've just broken
down this whole Star Trek thing.
I'm a Trekkie, that's why. I broke it
down to the barest essence of the Trek.
I'm a Trekkie.
I know everything about Star Trek.
- What's Captain Kirk's first name?
- Captain.
No, it's not Captain.
His name is James T Kirk.
What's Mr Spock's last name?
You didn't even know that.
Name is Spock Jenkins.
One of the Jenkins boys from vulcan.
We'll talk about it later.
What are we doin'?
We're kissing.
We ain't supposed to be kissing.
- Why?
- Cos we're friends.
So?
Friends can kiss.
Do something
CRAZY
It's good. It's very good.
- Congratulations, Marcus.
- Congratulate Angela.
It was mostly her idea.
Nice going, Angela.
Thanks.
Hey, you.
Yo, man. It's racial.
- Well, expand.
- All right, check it out.
The white ball dominates everything.
Knocks the shit out of the yellow ball,
the red ball, right? And the game's over
when the white ball drives
the black ball completely off the table.
Now why is that?
I don't know, but I'm sure
you'll tell me, my brother.
Sure you right. Look...
It's because of the white man's fear
of the sexual potency of black balls.
Now, that one was kinda interesting.
I see where you're goin'.
- The pool table is earth, so it's green.
- See, your shit is comin' out now.
And the world,
they used to think it was flat.
School him.
When you do Oprah,
I wanna be front row.
It's not about jokes.
Me and him are here.
That one was kinda deep. You went to
the bottom of the ocean on that one.
- Losers get the beer.
- I'm gonna get the beer...
- But see how our thing is here?
- We are on the same wavelength.
- We're the same cat.
- Get him, then.
- I'll get him. I'm gonna work on him.
- Fine.
Yo, man, he's gettin' worse.
We got to find him a woman, quick.
He's gonna be all right.
Hey, how are things
with you and Angela?
We're cool, man. You know.
We went out a couple times,
and she was gettin' so involved.
And I said "Look,
I'm just gonna pull back."
Cool.
Yeah. You know, I told her
"Look here, girl, do your thing."
"See other men, cos I'm gonna
see other women, you know."
I just didn't wanna break her heart
right off. You know, I just pull out easy.
Good. You don't mind if
she goes out with other guys?
Hell, no.
You thinkin' of
hookin' her up with Tyler?
- No, nothin' like that.
- Why you askin', man?
I was just curious.
I don't believe this shit.
Why you askin', man?
You can't even look me in my eye,
can you, Marcus?
Did you sleep with Angela?
Yeah, I did.
Why do you always have
to have all the girls, Marcus?
You said you didn't care
who she went out with.
Now you're flippin'.
You're bein' a hypocrite.
I don't wanna hear that bullshit, man.
This is different. Angela is a nice girl.
- So I can't be with a nice girl?
- No.
Cos all you gonna do is dog her out,
like you do every woman in your life.
OK, tell me this, man. Why Angela?
What, she has nice feet?
It has nothin' to do with her feet.
I care about this girl.
Man, you don't care about
nobody but yourself, man.
So, when we can rise as a people,
we runnin' things, you know?
- What'd you do, man?
- Guess.
Marcus. Come quick.
I got somethin' I wanna show you.
- What?
- I wanna show you something.
- Get outta here. I'm in the shower.
- Marcus.
Stop.
Come on, I'm soakin' wet. You
gonna make me catch a cold out here.
No, I won't. Look.
Well? What do you think?
- Blue people. Yeah, that's nice.
- What do you think?
- Do you like it?
- Yes, very much.
OK, OK, OK. Look at it and
tell me how it makes you feel.
- Honestly, it's makin' me kinda horny.
- No. Feel.
- I'd like to think I was the inspiration.
- No. Look.
- I think you should be blue.
- No. You'll get paint all over me.
- The phone's ringing.
- I'll get paint on you.
Take your clothes off.
Take 'em off. Off. Clothes...
No. Hello?
Jacqueline. Hi.
How you doin'?
He's right here, actually.
No. No, we weren't busy at all.
Here he is. OK.
Hey. Yeah.
No, that was Angela.
She just stopped by for a second.
Really? That's...
Your spot tested through the roof.
Yeah. Yeah, she's happy.
Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.
That's perfect. Great.
Yeah. Peace.
They're showin' the spot
to the board of directors on Friday,
and Jacqueline wants me to be there.
Great.
Wait. You don't have
a problem with that?
- No.
- I will call her and tell her that...
You sure?
Cool. That's bad.
Blue people.
Peace. Chill.
You are brilliant. God, Marcus,
they loved it. They loved it.
Did you hear him
screamin' "magnifique"
with a bead of sweat runnin' down his
face, man? I knew I had that cat.
Marcus, you are incredibly talented.
Well, I thank you.
Lady Eloise thanks you.
Tell her I said hey.
I'm sure Strang would like
to thank you personally.
Yeah, she'd like
to thank the hell outta me.
I have to say, it's very nice
to have the old Marcus back.
- I was kinda worried about you.
- Really?
You seemed...
You seemed so... I don't know.
- Can I be honest?
- Please.
Well, you seemed desperate,
and unsure of yourself.
- Pathetic?
- Kind of.
But look at you now. You're...
You're relaxed.
You're more confident.
Just like the man
I met in that elevator.
- I got it goin' on again?
- Yeah. I like it.
I find it very attractive.
How'd it go last night?
It went OK.
Just OK?
Must've gone pretty well. You didn't
get home until the middle of the night.
I went for a walk so I could sort
some things out that was in my head.
I was trippin' on it.
Like the fact that
you still love Jacqueline?
Angela, I saw the woman,
and a bunch of stuff in me
I didn't know was still there came out.
Things happened and... There's certain
things you just have no control over.
Really? Like what?
Like love.
Love?
You know,
what do you know about love?
What do you possibly think
you know about love?
I'm sick and tired of men using love
like it's a kind of disease you just catch.
Love should have brought
your ass home last night.
- Didn't you hear me say I was sorry?
- I heard you.
You're sorry and you're tired.
You don't love me or Jacqueline.
You only love your damn self.
How could you say
I never cared about you?
Jacqueline says that I'm a better person
now, and I owe that all to you.
I'm outta here.
I'll get the rest of my things later.
Let me just tell you one more thing.
I might not be all glamorous,
and I don't have hair down my back, but
let me tell you one great thing about me.
I've got a heart. You know the bad
thing about having a heart, Marcus?
It's that it gets broken
when you deal with people like you.
Now stay the fuck outta my life.
She left you, huh?
Yeah. She did.
I guess I should feel happy, but I don't.
I hate to see another person in pain.
Thank you very much. That's very nice
of you, Yvonne. Good night.
So, would you like to come over
for a cup of coffee?
Not even if Jesus was pourin' it.
Some motherfuckers can't see
a good thing when it's starin' at them.
Why don't you just leap your black ass
off the ledge, then? Fuck you.
- I can't do this.
- I have condoms.
No, it's not that. I gotta go.
What?
I'm in love with somebody.
Angela, right?
So now you think
you're in love with Angela.
No. No, no.
I know - just at this moment,
I know I'm in love with that woman.
Marcus, if you are in love with Angela,
why are you here with me?
Exactly.
Oh, shit. Dammit.
Hold up.
- Yo, whassup?
- Whassup?
Come on in.
- Welcome to the penthouse.
- It's kinda smoky in here, chief.
No, no. Wait. That ain't smoke, all right?
That's aroma.
Yo, can you get that for me?
Think that might be a little surprise.
Whassup, man? Where you goin'?
Yo, man. Talk.
Whassup, man?
Hey, how you doin'?
So have you seen Angela lately?
No, I hear she's over
at Barton and Dobbs now.
Yeah, I heard she got
promoted to creative director.
Really? Where'd you hear that?
Bony T told me.
Look, man.
- You don't have to say anything.
- I do. I'm really sorry, Gerard.
I've known you all my life, man. You're
like my brother, you know, and I...
I love you and I...
I don't wanna go through this, man.
Listen, it happened,
and I'm sorry, and I feel bad.
How long you gonna have me beg?
You know what I'm tryin' to say.
You gonna
milk all the apologies outta me.
It's cool.
- All right, man.
- My man.
Yo, man! Whassup? Y'all gonna let a
girl come between us, man? What's up?
We supposed to be here, man.
We boys, man.
We don't hang out no more or nothin',
man. Man, this shit hurt, man.
- Y'all make up now, man.
- We just, you know, made up, man.
Well, then, hug.
We hugged just now, and gave
each other a pat and we boys again.
- All right. Give it to me.
- We hugged already.
No, man. I want
a big motherfuckin' hug, man.
Damn, man. I love y'all, man.
- Y'all ready to eat?
- Yeah.
All right.
Yo, is that my shit?
Damn, not the penthouse.
No. It's all wrong.
You know that memo I showed you?
Refer to it and show me
a new mock-up in the morning.
This is way off, Tye. We are not
gonna shoot this until it's right.
- Angela.
- Come on.
- Hi. We're lookin' for Angela...
- We are not.
What?
Excuse me for a second, please.
- What are you two doing here?
- Angela.
- I haven't seen you in so long.
- Four months, two weeks, to be exact.
- Thank you.
- We miss you. Where have you been?
I miss you, too, and I've been working.
I got a new job. It's very demanding.
It requires me to work long hours,
and I haven't had the time
to teach the class. I'm sorry.
You always had time for us.
I know. Let me tell you somethin', OK?
You know what I had to do? I had
to rearrange my priorities in life.
Angela had to start
lookin' out for Angela.
- How'd you get here, anyway?
- Our new teacher brought us.
- Your new teacher? Where is she?
- He.
Well, where is he?
I think we best get goin' now.
Goodbye, my queen.
- OK.
- Peace.
My brother.
It's pretty low using the kids, Marcus.
What else could I do? I been sendin'
you letters and I know you got 'em.
I'm just not real big
on words on paper these days.
OK. I know I fucked up.
You're damn right you fucked up.
You hurt me.
I miss you.
No. I really, really miss you.
I've never missed anybody in my life
and I miss you. I'm in love with you.
It isn't about your love. It's the fact that
you can't love me the way I deserve.
That's what this is about.
You think I'd bother you unless I was
ready to be everything you wanted?
I wanna be straight up about
everything. I want monogamy.
You are my best friend. I'm miserable.
- I even quit my job because of you.
- Did I ask you to quit your job?
- Why are you doin' this?
- Doing what?
Bein' all stiff and cold,
and hidin' behind your work.
I'm taking care of my business,
and I suggest you take care of yours.
Listen.
I know havin' a great job is cool
and all of that but...
you used to have a good time.
You used to be with these kids
and we used to have fun.
We had a great life. You had everything.
Give me one reason
why I should take you back. One.
I didn't think you could.
Do you still love me?
Because I love you so much.
I miss you.
I'm scared.
And I'm miserable.
I can't breathe without you.
I can't breathe.
I can't breathe.
We should go get your things
and go to my place.
No. I'm not moving into your house
this time. I'm staying in my place.
I want 24-7.
- No.
- That's how committed I am.
No. No. I'm not doin' it.
If you turn and look at her
I will break your fuckin' neck.
I was lookin' at this woman, thinkin'
about the future. That's you in 15 years.
- You better still love me.
- She's by herself. I'm playin'. It's you.