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Boone: The Bounty Hunter (2017)
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Get on the ground! Come on! Ooh, surf's up. You're goin' down, Sorbo. Run for your life, goober! Ha-ha! Whoo! Stop chasing me, you freak! Ahh! Pardon us, ma'am. Oh! Yeah! Oh! Keep running. Just parking tickets. Come on! I'm only an actor. Go, dude! Denny, here he comes. Dude, why you lookin' at the copter? Run! Run! Booney! Welcome to Boone county. Ha-ha! Jackson. Already there. Oh, oh, oh! How did I go from hunting Hussein to Hercules? I've done a lot of other movies and TV shows since that was on the air, buddy. But that was your best work. This sucks. Ow, that hurt. Ugh. The only legendary journey you're gonna be taking is... Your face to the floor. Don't make me laugh, man. That's not funny. Kevin Sorbo, you just got Boone'd. America, you're welcome. Overseas, he served our country. Kicked ass in Baghdad. Time to get outta here. Now, he's back home, serving ass whoopings to d-bags here in America. Whoo! "Boone the bounty hunter." You just got Boone'd. America, you're welcome. Stop! It's just a parking ticket! Get off me. Hey, there you go! Son of a bitch! Damn. You guys are about to get Boone'd. It's radical action. He's putting bad guys in traction. Seven unpaid parking tickets. What are you talking about, man? Parking tickets. Dude, I live in Beverly hills. Plans are for goobers. Starring... Boone. Surf's up, dirtbag. Whoo, I got Boone'd! Yeah! Also starring Denny, Jackson, and Kat. Here comes the Boone. America, you're welcome. Good job, everybody. Let's finish strong. Get up. Ow! You dislocated my shoulder. Ahh! It's Boone from TV! Boone be the glory. Need these? Yeah. Crazy. Zeus would be disappointed. Oh, stop it with the Hercules references. Can I have your autograph? Hey, ladies. Autograph? I could write a poem on these things. Amazing, just amazing. That was way, way too rough, man. Shut up. Totally unnecessary! God! Hey, hey, hey, this is gonna air before my movie comes out next month, right? I'm sure it will. Okay, good. Hercules. It's Hercules. Boone fans, your Van's waiting across the street. Come on, and, uh, don't forget to sign your release forms. Hey, tweet me later, okay? Hashtag... You okay, foxy grandma? Yeah. Listen, if anything back there was damaged, let me know. I'll get production to cover it. You-you-you're the bounty hunter from TV. In the flesh. And if there's anything I can do for you, just name it. Maybe I could get a autograph. Absolutely. Hey, wicked party, Ryan. You're welcome. No, no, no, no. Shh. Yes, yes, yes. I've already had way too much. Oh, this is good for you. Yo, Ryan, your guy is here. Dominic, my favorite customer. Champagne? No, wait, sorry. This one's special. Ryan, I didn't come to drink. Oh, you came to hang out with me? That's so sweet. You didn't get it again, did you? Oh, wait, uh, did you... Did you come here for... This? There's nothin' else like it... Pure, potent, and undetectable to dogs. Not too much. My daddy makes it extra strong. Oh, hey, that was mine, you bad girl. You know that's expensive. Don't waste it. Damn it. A couple big cases came out last night, and we need a season finale. No more c-listers, not unless it's for a felony. Kathy Griffin... She skipped four counts of indecent exposure. Hey, that's a crime against humanity. So, you want Boone to tackle Kathy Griffin? She'd put a better fight than Kevin Sorbo. Let's be serious, people. Our ratings are down. We need big numbers to guarantee season six. Olivia. The network is on hold for you. I'll be right back. Just pick one. Well, anything new? No, it's just the same crap as usual. Hey, I got somethin' new. An Rf camera with a five-mile range, and it follows whoever wears this. Hey. I think it likes you, Denny. Yeah. All right. That's pretty cool. You know how our cameras sometimes tip off the skip? Well, if we know a location beforehand, we hide these before anyone gets there. What kinda movies you makin', man? Oh, yeah, yeah, you know you like it. Boone! Hallway. Now, please? What is it this time? Execs wanna cancel the show. They're bluffing. Just some suits trying to score a better deal. It's real, Boone. Our numbers are way down two years in a row. Next season will be our last. What if our last episode does huge numbers? It's not going to, Boone. People don't care anymore. They think this is staged. Well, then go back to how we started. Let's find a real bad guy. Make headlines. Boone, I'm sorry. Cage Bickle. Hey, colonel, what's crackin'? Boone? Yep. I need some help. Get a therapist. With a case. Remember that favor you owe me? All right, look, Boone, you know you're not supposed to be calling me here at the office. Well, if you picked up your cell... Yeah, I know. I know. I am super busy with some monster cases, right now. Yeah, look, I get it. In fact, my cell is ringin'. Look, Boone, I gotta go. I gotta take this call. Give me two minutes. I wish I could. I'll call you back. I promise. This is cage. Hey, colonel, long time no talk. What the hell do you want? A case, somethin' hot. Is this for your TV show? I'm still a bounty hunter first, the best you ever worked with. You know DEA can't be sharing intel with civilians. I'm good at keepin' secrets. You know that. And after this, we're even? What do ya got? Get in, babe. Let's test your snorkeling skills. It feels fizzy. Taste it. Like, now you're afraid of what goes in your mouth? Come on. Try it. Champagne infused. Costs me 12 large every time I fill it up. Ryan! Oh, damn it. Just if he asks you any questions, you don't speak English. Ryan! Jump on in. You, too, sexy tessy. Did you share anything with her? Oh, a couple times. She's a grand an hour. You really think I would waste a second talking about my dad? You're Cole Davenport? Oh, come on, shut it. No, no, no. Please, I-i want to know more about my son's friends. She's not a friend. She's a whore. Even better. Ryan was telling me about your new product. I have people high up in distribution who could really... Oh, my god! Now, I have to drain the whole thing! That's not water, dad! That's wasteful! You wanna talk about waste? Waste is when you have a warehouse full of people slaving for ten months to produce enough product for one massive shipment, and then I have my son steal some of the product, use it with his girlfriend, and now she's dead on the floor! That was an accident. Well, you know what? Your accident now has my product in her bloodstream. You know what that means? The feds know what to look for. So, I want you to get your ass out of that pool, because I need to go down to the plant to speed up production, and you are comin' with me. No! I can't have you mouthin' off to the FBI. I mean... Come on, I wouldn't rat on you, dad. No, dumbass. You never will. Tess here has invited the Cardoza brothers. I guarantee you they will take care of you. Oh, come on, I don't need babysitters. No more parties, no more whores, no more loose ends. No more screw-ups. Ryan Davenport, trust fund kid charged with the second degree murder of candy Charley. Cops found her body on the side of route 101 with enough rohypnol in her system to knock out a rhinoceros. And... get this. They found a new designer drug in her system, too. I'm telling you guys, we nab this weasel, and he leads them to the snoopy sauce. It's huge. Hey, uh, Boone, this is a real case. Yeah, this isn't hog-tying Kardashians. We're a TV show. We were a TV show. You didn't tell them? This is our last episode. Damn. Not if we score massive ratings by Booneing a spoiled d-bag who buys his way out of trouble. Okay, his trial starts tomorrow. How do you even know he's gonna skip? He already did, this morning. He left the state? Oh, yeah, he's a skipper. Where-where'd you get these? A friend at the DEA. Hmm. So, you know where he went? Grab your margaritas, senoritas. We're going to Mexico. We could be there by morning and back by sunset. Morning, like tomorrow morning? No way. We need intel on this guy, this town. We need gear. Mexico is a stopover for this creep. We gotta strike fast. Come on, man. You know Mexico don't like bounty hunters. He's right. They'll let Davenport go and charge us with abduction. We're just nicely asking the murderer if he'll take a ride back to L.A. with us. If we get busted, which we won't, we all know it's just a matter of pesos to get us out. We don't have a budget anymore. The bail was 10 mil. That's a million dollar bounty. We're not going... End of discussion. Yo, Boone! Never was good at following orders. That's why you love me, right? Yeah, you're right, but I'm still not goin'. What? And you guys shouldn't, either. Denny, you know this is crazy. Boone says it's an easy score. Kat. Hey, since I'm out of a job, I could use the million bucks, and somebody needs to watch their asses. Let's grab the last of our gear, Denny. I might not be able to stop them from following you, but maybe I can stop you from leading them into trouble. Come on, man. I thought you liked trouble. I like my wife and my kids more. Are they the type of kids that like to eat? Man, I'm trying to save our jobs. Maybe it's time to find new jobs. Doing what? Watching the door at some club on sunset? No, man, we worked too hard for too long. You think we're gonna find another gig that pays this well to crush bad guys? Oh, is-is that what we're doin'? Yeah. Look, you're the best soldier I ever fought with. But, Boone, trust me on this one. You're making a huge mistake this time. Talking about going to Mexico. You don't know that place. Think. I am thinking. I can take care of myself. You're supposed to take care of everyone else, too. It's official. We're completely off the grid. What? Damn it. How am I supposed to tweet this epic selfie to the Booneatics? How will the twitverse survive? You know, Kat, I've been thinkin'. Don't hurt yourself. We need to relieve the sexual tension between us. When we get back to L.A., I think you should come over to my place. We'll crack open some beers and watch some pro wrestling. Come over. I'll-I'll show you some moves. We could do some Pilates, some yoga, you know, Wednesday night stuff. A showmance could help the ratings. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'd do it to save everyone's jobs. Fine. If it'll help the show, I'll just hook up with Denny. Look, there are people in this town. Yeah, two. Where is everybody? What the hell? Oh, what's this guy's story? Hey, want some water? Agua? Yeah. Uh, no. No, take it, man. You need it. No. And some lip balm. Okay, but if you get thirsty and change your mind, it's right there. Hey, what's the sign say? It means lazy. You're Boone the hunter. See? They do know me down here. What's with him? He broke the rules. You're here to stop the bad men? That's right, one of the worst. What's your name, kid? Miguel. So, Miguel... How would you like to be a deputy bounty hunter? Any new gringos come to town yesterday? No. Calm down, chief. I got a card for you, too. You want senor Davenport. The kid said this is the place. Camera one online and recording. Come on. Let's be ready to rock. Boone cam set. Boone cam check. Gross. Okay, got Denny cam. Denny cam check. Blaaah. Grosser. Can you give me some levels? Ryan Davenport, the weatherman's predicting hail in your future because I'm about to come at ya like a bag of quarters in a strip club. Perfect. Kat cam is hot. We've got the remotes. Just remember we gotta stay half a mile from the Van so we can record the feeds. Incoming. Yahtzee. We got him. How do we handle them? Hmm. Looks like these guys found a buy one, get one free sale on polyester goon suits. Denny can take 'em. Hey, look... He's ditching his bodyguards. Now is our chance. Wait, wait, hold up a sec, Kittycat. What? Why? Boone, let's go. We can cut him off before they catch up. Davenport's still in the bar. Kid went in wearing lucchese boots worth at least 11 thou. The guy that came out was in sneakers. I guess being a fashion diva has its perks. Yep. Let's go Boone this chump stain. Boone voyage, Ryan Davenport. Group Boone. Let's Boone him. All right, guys. Let's Boone this kid. Settle down on the Boone-Boone phrases. Boone... I'm gonna Boone this kid into next Tuesday. Hmm. You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? Probably not as advanced. You two set the cameras. I'll probe her for information. At least that won't take too long. Well, hello, muscles. Is it hot in here, or is it just you? What can I do for you? And remember, I can do everything. I'm lookin' for somebody. Oh, perfect. I'm a somebody. What type of place is this anyway? The kind where you don't ask questions. Where is Ryan Davenport? See, that's a question, and here's the only answer that matters in this town. Don't mess with anyone named Davenport. Margarita, blended, half sugar, half salt on the rim. Interesting place, homey. What's going on? Fiesta? Rodeo? Chicas back there, dudes with hats? Hablo Ingles? No? Okay. Whoa. What's up with your face? My name is Boone the bounty hunter. I'm lookin' for a piece of trash named Ryan Davenport. You know where Ryan is, chief? Thirsty, huh? This round is on me. Speak English? Do you know where Ryan is? I don't think so, brother. You don't think so. Yeah. He doesn't think so. Okay, then. Ha-ha! A-Boone-a-matata, goober. Ahh! I had him! Where's Ryan? Upstairs. Where's the stairs? Over there. Hello, Ryan, ladies. Who the hell are you? I'm the trash collector. Do you have any idea who I am? Yeah, you're the trash. So, I'm guessing you haven't seen my show. The bad guys always run. Hmm. I'm keeping the Chipotle card. I'll go get the Van. Yah. Good job, Boone. I'm gonna cuff him. No, no, no. This is our season finale. We still gotta Boone the crap out of the roofie kid here. I think we're gonna win an Emmy for this. I don't know, Boone. He doesn't look so good. He's okay. Yep, yep. See? See? What about the police? Maybe we should just drive. You guys drive. I'll run. Here comes justice, Davenprick. Yeah! Hey, man! Is that all you got? That looks fun. I haven't seen a man like that around here in ten years. A man without a brain? A man who doesn't know he's already dead? He ain't your savior, Sylvia. Damn it, Walker. Cole Davenport takes everything from us. Haven't you had enough? No, and you wanna know why? Why? Because I don't start fights I can't win. Boone-a-gram for Ryan Davenport. Yeah! You're gonna get Boone'd. Ryan Davenport, you just got Boone'd. America, you're welcome. Okay. We gotta get outta here. Hands up! Uh, bad things... Bad things are happening. How many cops are there? Forget it, Boone. We can't assault officers. Just get Ryan out of here. Boone, just hide. Just hide. They're coming. Don't get negative. Stay positive, okay? Glass is half full. Worst case scenario, you go to jail for a few days. I-I don't think that's the worst case scenario. Remember that guy on the street? He was just being lazy. I'm gonna take the Davenport kid across the border, cash in the bounty. Wait... you're gonna go home without us? Then we'll have a million bucks to get you out. Tell them that. Tell them you can pay. Guera, out. Yeah, sorry. Mr. Victor. Mr. Davenport, how are you? Huh? So, you finally did somethin' I told you to do, huh? You gave 'em extra food and water. That's good. And everybody is very appreciative, sir. Yeah, they are? Well, why the hell are we behind schedule, Victor? The-the-the crew, they're working around the clock. Yeah? And there's nothing more we can do. Yeah? Okay. All right, you say... No, you touch him, I'll knock you out. But he's very sick. Yeah, he's sick. Everybody is sick. Look at him. If we treat one of 'em, we have to treat all of 'em. Do you understand that? They'll stop working. Then what do we have, huh? I want you to keep him there, so everybody can see as an example. People, tomorrow we go home, but tonight we finish. I said send the car. What is it? It's Ryan. Ryan, again? Again. Victor! Leave him alone. This supposed to be a chokehold? 'Cause I really shouldn't be able to talk. Let me go, or I'll kill you. Let me know when I'm dead. Ahh! Helicopter ride. You better not have just gave me rabies, or I'll drag you all the way to the border. Nice escape, monkey nuts. All right, stop screwing around. Time to get up and walk, you little d-bag. You really don't get it. My dad owns this whole town, including the cops. Your friends, they're dead, dead unless you take me back, now! It's 300 miles to the border, moron. You really think you're gonna carry me the whole way? Whoo! Smells like hell. You might as well get used to it. No point in wearing your voice out. No tracks out here but ours, so... Yeah, I'll miss you, too. Perfect place for a little turd. Oh, god. Oh, this was so dumb, but I love... I love how Boone manages to get out just fine. Yeah. Think he's all right? I am, uh, comandante Munoz. Are you both okay? Yeah, I think we're all right. I'm sorry that we don't have nicer accommodations. Uh, hopefully, we'll clear this up quickly. Thank you. I, uh, I think there's been a misunderstanding. You see, our friend, Ryan Davenport, he invited us down here, but now they're saying... Don't lie, miss Sanders. I have seen your television show. I actually enjoy it very much. Well, then you know the man we're pursuing was to go on trial today for murdering a young woman. Check on this story. I find this very troubling. If true, we will pursue his extradition, but it must be done through Mexican authorities, and to do that, we must bring Ryan in before anyone is hurt. Perhaps, with your technology, you might be able to contact or locate your friend. You-you know, if he's still wearing his transmitter, I can find him. I-I'll just need my laptop from the Van. I'll see what I can do. Denny, he's lying. I know. Maybe he'll keep playing nice if he thinks we're helping. Yes, punch buggy Boone. How am I the only one that doesn't know how to hotwire a car? Boone yeah. Come on. There's your problem. No engine. That's a nice truck. Milli, Vanilli. Ooh, this is gonna be sick. I just wish they had the cameras here. Oh, no bueno. Where is Ryan? He's in the crapper. Hey. Okay, okay, let's talk, guys. Let go of my vest! Officers! Hey, hey, okay. I'm actually glad you're here. What are you doing? Don't kill him. We need him to find Ryan. Only way you can follow me is on Twitter. You better hope we find this kid. Okay, I should be able to pinpoint his transmitter, but I'm gonna have to remote the signal through our office in Los Angeles, and that means I'm gonna have to give my producer a call to Grant access. Okay. We'll call later. Okay. There's some new plans. Come on. Let's talk. Sure. I got some good news and some bad news. Let's go! Let's go! Back in the cell! Sit down! See somethin' you like? You'll be so beautiful when you're dead. As the comandante was saying, there is good news, and there is bad news. Preference? First starting with bad. I'm afraid that your friend, Boone, is dead. I'm sorry. I made a terrible mistake. That was the good news. The bad news is, they haven't found my son, and that's especially bad for you because we don't need you anymore. You're done. What about Jackson? Jackson? He must have gotten away with Ryan. Jackson? I-I've seen their show. There-there's usually another. Let us call Jackson. We can arrange a trade, us for Ryan. You do that. Tess, come on! When they find Ryan, we're dead. Help, help, help, help! Help! Boone? Boone? Ugh! Oh, you're okay. America. Sleep with your lights on. This ain't flipper. This is jaws. Mmm... I smell tacos. Boone! Boone! I see him! I see him! Ahh! Come on. You're in big trouble, tiny. Boone, I'm about to serve you up a piece of humble pie. I hope you're hungry for some rocky road, 'cause this marshmallow is about to kick some chocolate nuts. This one's called a ghetto massage. You like that, huh? Senor Boone! They call that the Boone special. You did this? My dad. He's the best doctor in town. You're awake. Yeah. Thanks for patching me up, doc. You're very lucky. The bullet hit something on your vest. Here. Well, that's what I call a great headshot. Seems like Miguelito was following you today, fortunately for you. Nice work, deputy. You've been unconscious for about three hours now. I need to go. No, no, no. You need to eat, all right? One moment. I'll be right back. Hey, Miguel. Are there any phones in town? Not many. , senor Davenport's. I know they're at the police station. And that one. Boone the bounty hunter. Boone! Where the hell are you? Hey, look. I'll be outta here any minute, okay? My-my producer is gonna call back, and then I'm gone. Okay. Um, how much for that old pickup? Name your price. My producer can wire money within the hour. If they catch you in my truck, they'll know we helped you. Then all your money will mean nothing. Uh, excuse me. You can use my bike. Thanks, deputy. Two hundred miles of seat rash might be the way to go. Your mom is not really a Boone fan, is she? She doesn't understand that you're here to save us. Here, take these. If you're gonna be a bounty hunter, you should start lookin' the part. Hey, uh, kid, thanks for everything. Your parents are good people. You should listen to 'em, okay? And, uh, and-and-and at school, if someone offers you drugs, don't do drugs, 'cause drugs can hurt your brain development. It-it's not good for you. It's gonna get in the way of doin' what you wanna do, get in the way of your dreams. And if you have a dream, you gotta follow your dreams and don't take no for an answer. Unless you're with a-a-a senorita, and, in that case, no means no. And when you're out in the desert, if it... If it's windy, you don't pee into the wind, because you never wanna pee in the wind. You don't wanna pee on yourself at all. You know, that's gross. Unless you get stung by a jellyfish. In that case, you-you could pee on yourself 'cause that's what you should do. I think that works for-for dog bites, also. But if you're walking around with pee on your pants, people aren't gonna like that, and it happened to me once 'cause... No, no. Bueno. Hold, please. What's going on? They're not there, Boone. The local authorities don't have them. They let them go. No. They're saying that Kat and Denny were never in custody. They're denying ever having seen them. Then you got the wrong town. Right town! And, Boone, they're looking for you. Something about a bar fight this morning. Yeah. It was pretty wicked. Boone, Kat and Denny are in Mexican prison, and the Federales are denying ever having seen them. They could be hurt, or in serious danger. Olivia! Olivia! Relax, okay? Have you tried throwing money at this? Of course I have! Well, then throw more. Fricking catapult cash at this. You're gonna have a million extra bucks soon. Boone, I told you not to go. Maybe we should call the feds. To do what? Invade Mexico? To put pressure on, you know? If the cops have Kat and Denny, then... They'll just deny it! They can't deny it, okay? They can't. The whole thing was caught on tape. You have the footage? It's on Denny's computer. I don't believe it's true, Mr. Davenport. No one at San Borracho saw a fourth man. I don't know who's calling the Americans, but I will find out. It's Boone. He must be calling. Even if it was him, we can't depend on him, Denny. Hey, what's happening? I'm tired of these games you're playing, miss Sanders. It's time for the truth. Please, stop. You, come out. No, no. No, no, no. You need... you need us. You need us to get Ryan. All right, we-we can fix this. You don't... you don't have to hurt me, all right? Look, uh, come on. Look, I-i can tell you... I can tell you where they are, all right? Kat! Kat, you okay? Come on. Cables, dry stuff. Why did we bring this big-ass light? Damn it. Guys. Boone. Kat, you gonna put the gun down? I'm still deciding. He came back for us, Kat. He came back for the Van. No, just prepping the getaway vehicle. Give me the keys. Wait... What are you doing in there? I was looking for the... You looking for this? Yes, yes, and Denny saves the show. That's why you came back. What? No. I knew you guys would both be okay. You jackass. Get in the Van, Denny. We almost died today, and nothing else should have mattered to you! Get in the Van, you guys. Is he alive? He's in shock. Soaked the shoulder. Nothing vital, but it's a gusher. He won't last long like that. Boone the bounty hunter. You're not gonna Boone me! All right, Schlesinger, you just got booned. Where is he? Who? Who? It's just us. Hey, hey, what are you doing? We know he called from this number! He broke in. Tried to kill us. I swear. You have to protect us. He said, if we said anything at all to anyone, he would come back for our son. You just got Boone'd. America, you're welcome. Their bullet pierced through the cooling hose. It should be an easy fix. And our other patient? We have to stop the bleeding. I'll have to stitch him up. How long to do both? I don't know, 20, maybe 30 minutes. Way to go, bro. We did it. Did what? Almost die? We're back together. I mean, Denny's got a cool new scar to attract the babes. We still have footage for a killer show. We just need to pick up the ending and go home. The ending? I got the Davenport kid stashed in a crapper south of town. We'll pick him up and... Stop, okay? Do you see any cameras, Boone? Just turn it off. Stop being this. We're not getting Ryan Davenport. I'm trying to save everyone's jobs, okay? You just said 20 or 30 minutes. I mean, I'll get Ryan. You fix Denny and the Van. This could be a good thing. Don't get negative. The glass isn't always half full, Boone. Hey, my glass is always half full. Even when it's all the way full, it's at half full. I'm getting Davenport. I quit. I quit, too. You picked a bad time to wake up. This is gonna hurt like hell. Just do it fast. Here, I'll hold him down. Don't touch me, Boone. Just go away. Fine, I'll get back to L.A. on my own. A million bucks says I get there first. Oh, god. What are you doin' here? I need a ride. And then I need to borrow your car. Leave. Are you okay? You have no idea what you've done. They're all here. You've got to go. Who? Davenport's men? No. Wait, wait, no. Pedro. You! They-they come for you. They said we help you. They have taken Miguelito. Why? Why? Why you do this? I can help. I can fix this! Damn it, Walker. Do somethin'. I can fix this. Oh! Come on! Wait! What was that? It's Boone. He's back at the bar. I think you better leave. You're letting him go? He'll live with his regrets just like the rest of us. No. I'm getting Miguel. M-Miguel? Is that the kid? Oh, my god. How? I have something Davenport wants. I have his son. Davenport will never let you and that boy out alive. Then just Miguel. You and your friends should have never come. My friends aren't a part of this. They didn't do anything wrong except trust me. I should have trusted them. So, you're attacking Davenport all alone. If I have to, yeah. I wanna do something right. Cole Davenport running this town is about as wrong as-as that spelling of liquor. It just ain't right. Wait. For 13 years, I've been telling myself the best way to stay alive is to do nothin'. How many have we watched suffer and die so that we can tell ourselves that this is living? I'm with ya. Us, too. Yeah, somebody's gotta watch your back. Well, bounty hunter, you got us. What do you want us to do? Let's just hope turd junior is where I left him. Oh, yes, bubbles... Bubbles, bubbles, bubble. Hey, hey, hey! It's me, Ryan Davenport! Let me out! I'll give you $10,000 if you just let me out! That's like a billion pesos! Ten thou? I got leather pants that cost more than that. Shit! The Van has entered the site perimeter. Grab the kid. You stink so bad. Hilarious. Enjoy your last few minutes of life. Let the kid go. As soon as he clears the horizon, you can have back Ryan. I like the boy. I don't think so. The only way you're gettin' your son back is if you let the kid go. I don't want him back. What? Well, that plan didn't last long. - What do you wanna do? - Phase two. Walker and his guys aren't in position yet. Improvise. Okay, just give me 30 seconds. Dad, come on. Dad, shoot him! You're bluffing. You don't get it, jungle boy. None of you, including my son, will ever go back to the United States. They're all yours. Have fun with it. Come on. What is that? There. What is that? Move, move! Now, now! All right, you better get outta the way! Run! He's on the side of the main building. You good? Mm-hmm. Boom, there it is. Come on, folks. Move, move, move, let's go! Boone, we got your back, man. Get the kid. Denny, a little help? All right, I'm on their network. Security feed is coming on now. Denny, did Davenport get these guys on Craig's list? And there we go. I got ya. Boone, duck! Ahh! Where to? Stand by. There you are. They're heading up. Davenport's got Miguel in the stairway. What now? Down this hallway. To your right. You should never pull a knife in a Boone fight. Boone, get Miguel. You can't take her yourself. We've met. She's not that good. Damn, I wish I could watch this. You ready? To the roof. They're going to the helipad. Boone, turn left here. All right. Now, at the end of the hallway, there's gonna be a packing room. Go through it. Find the stairway. Go all the way up. Copy that. I don't have time for this. Hey! Dad, wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! It's me. Wait, dad! Dad. Dad! Dad? Get over here! Boone, Miguel got away, but now Ryan's after him. They're heading your way. Boone, hurry! Denny, you're gonna have to send someone else to get Miguel. There is no one else. I'm sorry, Denny. I should have listened to Jackson. Hold on, Boone! Help's comin'. Okay, I'll read to you next time. I promise. Get some sleep. Denny. D-Denny? Jackson, turn on your computer! Boone needs you! Hold on. Hold on. Slow-slow down. Now, wait. What? Denny? I think someone's trying to get in the Van. Denny? Oh, man. Boone? You alive? Jackson? Are you okay? You were right, man. I'm sorry. We're all good, bro. I just need you to listen to me. Get ready to scoot to the left and take out this big guy that's coming to you, right now. In two, one... Now, Boone, now! Yes! Get the hell outta there! Why are you slowing down? - Run! - Where? Away. Turn this son of a bitch around. Those guys are trained fighters. You can't fight them straight up. You gotta Boone them. Towards the 3 o'clock. Go! Pick these guys apart, man. Do some of that flippy stuff you do, man. Behind you. Here comes milli. Sack him. Drop kick. Yeah, that's it! That's it. You got it. Find a way to get him off his feet. To your right! Got it. Kick the barrel. Remember that time you Boone'd carrot top? Same move! Hit it, now. Yeah! He's hurt, man. He's hurt bad. No! One down, one to go. Oh, damn. Get out. Get out. Get the hell outta there. Time to die, you bastards. Come around. Helicopter. No. I knew you had this. Good job, Boone. Thanks, bro. Bring everyone home. Hell yeah. One, two, three. Holy crap. Get back here! It's over, Ryan! Ryan, don't. Let him go. It's the only way you're gonna get outta here alive. Good show, Boone the bounty hunter, but this episode will not have a happy ending! That's too bad. I was really hoping this could be a Boone special. Senor Davenport, you got Boone'd! Nice work, deputy. A-team is right here. Solid! Hey! Hey. Hey. You all right, bro? Yeah, how's your leg? All right, there, man. Hey, I-i hope you guys don't mind, but when I was tapping into the security cameras, I, uh... I hit record. It's an all new season of "Boone the bounty hunter." You just got Boone'd. America, you're welcome. Starring Denny. Bad things are happening. Boone, duck! Kat. Incoming. Jackson. Yeah! And Boone. Bad guys always run. You can't take her yourself. We've met. She's not that good. It's real action. Boone cam. I knew you had this. Couldn't do it without my team. They're putting bad guys in traction, again. "Boone the bounty hunter," an all new season this fall. Oh, there you are. We are all set. With Davenport out of the picture, the territory is wide open. I just made you a very rich man. When can you move in? Here we go. Shooting now. Ready and action. Boone time! Whoo! Run, you goober. Kevin Sorbo, you just got booned. It's a lot better than being boned. Pardon us, ma'am. At least, well, at least, you-you know, being a fashion diva pays off. Yes. Booned by ya... How do you say that sh... Boone voyage. Just a parking ticket! Get off me. You want some excitement? Three, two, one, action. Perfect timing. Boone. Boone. Boone. Boone. Boone. Boone. Boone. Boone. Boone. Boone. Boone. Ooh, yeah. Cut! Cut, cut, cut. Camera cut. Cut. Welcome to Boone county, population you. Kick him in the nuts! In the nuts! Oh. Dude, you good? Back to one. And reset and rolling. Give me the gun. Where is the glass? Huh? Okay. You don't mess with me! There you go. Three. And drink your milk and eat your veggies. Keep 'em separate, though. You don't make friends if you smell like farts. Never pet a porcupine in the wrong direction. Don't wear the same clothes more than three days in a row. You wanna get a Jimmy hat. Don't ride a motorcycle with your mouth open. Don't do drugs. Hold on. Hold on. Haven't you had enough? No. And you wanna know why? 'Cause I don't start fights I can't lose. No, that's not it. That's not it at all. But it sounded convincing. Well, fine. If it'll help the show, I'll just hook up with Denny. What? M'Kay. All right, sorry. I messed up that... Here comes the Boone. You got this, Boone. Okay, now. Get off me! Shut up, Chavo. Hey! Okay, let's get him. You got the handcuffs, right? Oh, no. Damn. I forgot the handcuffs. Again, Boone? Again? How am I gonna fit handcuffs into leather pants, bro? Hey, just let him go. Just let him go. Okay, let's let him go. You're welcome. And cut! |
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