Boy and His Dog, A (1975)

Ahem. World War 3.
Hot and cold.
Lasted from...
Dog: Hold.
Dog: Female.
Dog: Rover pack has her, 125 yards.
Dog: Solo, waiting
to move in, 75 yards.
Don't ...your stinking...
all over this god damn..get
away from me, No.....
Get away from me, nooo...
..Help me! Help me!
Yeah, yeah.
Hey, see her jerk when I cut her?
Dog: Hold, one more.
Dog: You're still
constantly overreacting.
Dog: I've absolutely no idea
how I managed to keep
you alive so long.
Dog: And I wouldn't
bother going down in there
unless your taste has changed radically
Dog: They left an ugly mess.
Dog: I said, they left a mess!
I heard you.
Dog: The poor swine
all my directives go
completely unregarded.
Dog: Sometimes youre just as
ignorant as any other common rover.
Dog: One indication of a female alone
Dog: and leave caution to
the wind, and the eyes glaze
Dog: glands swell
and the brain freezes.
I can't see a thing
in there....smell it!
Dog: I thought you were doing all
the scouting today, Vic.
Damn it Blood, don't give
me a hard time, smell it!
Dog: It's clean.
Ain't that a shame.
Hell, they didn't have to cut her.
She could have been
used three or more times.
Dog: Ah, war is hell.
All right. Run it again.
Dog: Youre so funny when
you are sexually frustrated.
And I'm funny enough to
kick you upside the butt!
I said find and I ain't kidding.
Dog: One does not said ain't,
Albert, simply say I'm not kidding.
Fine, dog meat. And
stop calling me Albert.
Dog: Ah, and you would stone a poor
defenseless animal, wouldn't you.
Dog: Yes, I can tell that would.
Dog: I could tell by your short breath
Dog: And your disgusting
aggressive behavior that you would.
Dog: And, humph.
Dog: that's because you're
not a nice person, Albert
Dog: you're not a nice person at all.
Dog: Do I gawk at you
when you're working?
Dog: I'll locate a
female if there is one.
Dog: You go look for food.
woohoo, yeah, sonofabitch
why don't you shove it
hey, what's going on?
Dog: I detect no living
female person in my range, sir.
Dog: I have sniffed and I have cast
Dog: And I have a negative reading.
Dog: However I'd be
happy to tell you a
suggestive story if that would help
Pass, fuzzy-butt.
Dog: A cautious young man named Lodge
Dog: Had seat belts
installed in his dodge.
Dog: When his date was strapped in
Dog: He committed a sin,
without leaving the garage.
Dog: That's clever, isn't it?
Let's see, from March 1953 to June...
Dog: Now Albert, you have all
the cranial capacity of a canary.
Dog: Now, I'm going to recount these
events of historical
significance once again
Dog: Now please try to
assimilate them this time.
Dog: WW3, hot and cold, lasted
from June 1950 to March 1983
Dog: Dog: When the Vatican
armistice was signed
Dog: Between the Eastern and
Western blocs, a total of 33 years.
Dog: Is it too fast for you?
No, I'm right with
you. Dog: Oh, good.
Dog: Now World War 4 lasted 5 days
Dog: Just long enough
for the final missiles
Dog: to leave their
silos on both sides.
Dog: What's left here were
once homes with warm hearths...
Hee, hee, would you get off
my back you mad dog, hehehe
Dog: Now, only
desolation, civilization
lies smothered and decaying
under an ocean of mud
Dog: belonging to anyone
who's strong enough to
Dog: kick and fight and
take it for their own.
Dog: God, that's dramatic, I like it.
Dog: So, spread about us,
the city of Phoenix, Arizona
Dog: where in 2006, 18
odd years ago you managed to
Dog: come into the world
and we became associates.
Dog: Now, let's hear that back.
Dog: Now let run through
the modern presidents.
What good is this history
crap going to do me?
Dog: Just do the Presidents.
Oh, God...Eisenhower, Truman..
Dog: Truman, Eisenhower
Vic: Kennedy, Johnson,
Nixon...Kennedy, Kennedy...
Dog: Your continued
narrow-minded refusal to believe in
Over The Hill, is possibly
costing us a better life, you know.
Over The Hill, my ass.
Dog: Well when do we
start looking for it again?
Soon as I get my heart started?
Dog: I mean let's stop the crap..
I know what you mean, over the hill
where the deer and the antelope play.
and it's warm and clean and
we can relax and have fun
Man, they grow food right out of
the ground, how do
like that pipe dream?
Dog: It's called farming.
Oh, I believe you. And they also have a
great crop of clothes and
guns and gorgeous chicks.
Now you're gonna tell me how so saw
the whole thing with your baby blues.
Dog: Never said I saw,
I said I heard about it.
And from who?
Dog: From whom, and
you know from whom.
And whom the hell's gonna
believe a police dog?
I'm sorry Blood.
I believe you about Over the Hill.
Hell, I believe anything you tell me.
and even if we don't know for
sure, it's worth checking, right?
Right?
Dog: Whatever you say.
We will go, just like I promised.
Right now I'm hungry
and I wanna get laid.
So find me a broad and we'll
go to the promised land.
Dog: That's what you always say.
I know, I know, but
I mean it this time.
Find me a chick and we'll go.
Dog: I'm hungry.
So am I!
I tell you what. You go find a
chick and I'll hustle us up some food.
Dog: I'm hungry.
You already said that, God
damn it and I just said...
Dog: I can't do good
work when I'm hungry.
You ain't pulling
that crap on me again.
And you shove that part
about how you lost the
ability to hunt for food
when you learned how to talk!
Oh hell all you're good
for is finding hard, stingy
scum bags, that are just
liable to cut off my Goddamn....
Dog: No food, no females.
Okay you just sit there on your
flabby butt while I do
all the god damn work.
I'll tell you one
goddamn thing, you better
do some tracking; it's
been six weeks since I
been laid and it sure
as hell ain't been
that long since you ate.
(dog hums in background]
By god it damn well may be if you
don't start producing.
Leroy's here.
Heave, heave, pull, pull on that line!
Pull on it! Pull....
Get out of there, hey you junkies,
get that dirt out of there.
Must be something special.
You got the whole bunch.
You get up and get
in that hole. Get up!
You get yourself up or you
ain't never gonna get up!
How'd he know there'd be a house
here...he' smart, that's how.
Wonder why they hang around him?
Dog: Hmmm, probably just charisma.
Hey there...
You dig.
Move your foot if you don't
want...hey, watch where you're going!
Where'd you...it? Maybe
he ain't heard about it?
Hey!
Play!
Play melancholy baby!
Winds were soft, rains were wet,
mountains were high, things....
Dog: God, I wish he'd tune that.
Well?
I don't know.
Chet got Cracker Jack to here.
Think he just might do.
Maybe.
Get out of here.. Look
at that. Real beer.
Keep your hands off of
that. Now get away from here.
Dog: Sigh. Vic:
Look at all that food.
I'll knock your stupid
head in. You and who else?
You all right. I need
shoes. Anybody see some shoes?
Hey you pigs get down there and dig.
This place ought to be
loaded. Get it out of there.
Might work.
Dog: We'll wait like we always do.
Hell with waiting.
Dog: Vic, come back here!
Get away from here, help help,
he's taking our bag, help help.
Get back down in here, you
idiots, get back in here.
Leave him go.
Oh shut up. At least
he's got some guts.
Get out of here and guard that wagon.
He got our bag. Run boy!
Come back any time, though.
Dig you...
That's our boy. Put out the cheese.
What do you want to do tonight?
Dog: Oh, doesn't really matter to me.
Whatever you would like
to do, Albert...uh, Vic.
Well, hell, now that we're loaded,
I guess we could hit the turf.
Dog: Yes, we could do that.
Well if you rather not...
Dog: Oh no, no, no,
that would be fine.
We could probably even
afford a little pop..popcorn.
Mats good for the rifle,
put in the water there.
Theyre getting wet there; move
them over, goes to rust fast.
Move on along.
You money grabbing toad,
you move my stuff over!
Move his heat; we don't
want no trouble tonight.
If it picks up one rust spot,
you're going to wake up
with a crowd around you.
Sardines...
We could use some.
What about the mutt.
He ain't no mutt.
You wanna see the movies or don't you.
Peaches.
How the hell am I
supposed to know that?
You can read, can't you?
Peaches for the dog.
Beets are better for him any way.
There's a screamer 'bout a mile out.
Where's he heading?
You think I'd stick around to
find out? I said screamers.
Dog: I want popcorn.
Pass.
You said we'd get some.
Who said.
Dog: Come on, Albert,
buy me some popcorn.
I'm tapped, you can live without it.
Dog: You're just being an ass.
You just remember that the next
time you want to call me Albert.
Dog: I hope the next time you
play with yourself you go blind.
Dog: Come on let's sit there in front.
Sit down!
Get your ass over there,
I want to sit here.
Dog: How can you enjoy
a show without popcorn.
Dog: All right tightwad,
watch the master at work.
Dog: Charity is a thing of the past.
Dog: There's a female in here.
You're nuts.
Dog: I tell you she's in here.
Where?
Where is she?
Wait a minute.
Come out here, I want to talk to you.
Lying egg sucker, I ought to kick
your tail up around your ears.
Expect me to believe you
can whiff her when there
ain't no other dog in the whole
joint that's caught her yet?
Dog: Now you forget my
infallibility, Albert, that's foolish.
No I didn't forget, I
just don't believe it.
Where is she?
Knock it off.
How the hell can I see the picture?
Get them out of here,
sic the dogs on them.
Call off the dog...
Ok, all right I was dumb, you taught me
all I know, I believe
everything you say.
That wasn't her was it? Come on.
She might get away.
I'll buy you the popcorn.
Bottom line, you're a
brain with an educated
nose and there's no other
canine in your class.
Dog: She's dressed like
a solo wearing a knit cap.
Where's the kid?
He's spending the night
with Johnny Lambert.
Oh, please, take me now.
Come on, get up. Not yet guys.
Damn it darling, cry!
Look what I found.
Okay? Which way did she go?
Dog: To the right.
Come on.
Not Troy or Hitchcock.
That's it for tonight, shut 'her down.
That stupid broad.
She's in there where
the screamers hole up.
Dog: They're not in there
now, she's in there alone.
Screamers.
Damn it.
How the hell am I going
to nail her in there?
Dog: Simple, stop shaking like
a leaf and go in there and do it.
You sure it's clean?
Dog: Albert, have I ever lied to you?
Go over there, and I'm going
to get one of them mats.
You make one move off there
and I'll shoot your leg
right out from under you.
and you'll still get it
except you'll be without a leg.
Well what are you looking at?
What's your name?
Vic.
Vic what?
Just Vic.
Then what are your
mother and father's names?
Boy are you a dumb broad.
I told you to stop
looking at me like that
or I'll bust your teeth out.
Now get that stuff off.
What's your name?
Quilla June Holmes.
That's a weird name.
It's not. My mother says it's
not that unusual back in Oklahoma.
That where your folks come from?
Before the war.
They must be pretty old by now.
They are, but they're okay I guess.
Hmm, this one's better....Now what?
Dog: Rover pack. 23 strong.
They got the building surrounded.
Great, some other mutt must
have smelled her in the theater.
Who are you talking too?
Him.
The dog?
Dog: Give them the girl.
Dig in and stand them off.
Dog: They don't know about us.
Just give them the girl
and let's get out of here.
We stay. Now you got
any helpful suggestions?
Dog: Yeah, pull up your pants, Romeo.
Dog: Now will you listen to reason?
Dog: There's too many of them.
You're going to get us shot up.
Dog: Damn fool.
Dog: There's only one way out of
here. Boxed in, that's no good.
Dog: out there in the big
room...what...Quilla: Hello dog, hello...
Dog: Oh Jesus, they'll probably
come down the ladder...Quilla:
What's a matter, don't you talk to
strangers? Dog: Shut up will you!
Dog: I can see it.
Dog: It's going to be a great help,
now if we..Quilla:
Do you understand me?
Dog: One down, take his heat that
will get him...Quilla: What's the...
Shut up!
Dog: Lovely odds we're
up against, aren't they?
Right. Let's set up for them.
Dog: And I'm right about
the simpering female.
I get that, now how do
you figure the fight?
Over there!
Hey ....
She's moving again.
Roar.
Where'd she go?
Dog: Good or bad first.
Bad.
Dog: All right, they didn't come
down the ladder like I anticipated
and since they found other ways in,
we've lost the element of surprise.
Dog: There's no way
we can handle them.
And the good?
Let the 7 dwarfs have Snow White and
we can get out of here
with all our parts.
Over my dead body.
Dog: They're working on
that right now. Grrrrr...
Dog: Screamers.
Where? I don't hear them.
Dog: Now what would everyone
do if they heard one right now.
Run like a sonofabitch.
Dog: Ah ha.
It's worth a try.
Screamers.
You hear that?
Screamers!
Goddamn it, get out of the way!
Dog: Make certain they've gone, Vic.
Dog: Don't stick your
empty head out, Vic.
Hey,easy...
Dog: Will you shut her up?
I can't hear myself think.
Dog: Get something green.
Wrap it around a stick.
Dog: Wave it up there. Shine
a flashlight up through it.
Have they gone?
What do you see?
Ha, ha, ha, ha...
They are wimps...woohoohoo!
We did it!
I would have given a whole sack of
potatoes to see their
faces when they ran!
Hehehe, Hey Blood we did
it, we did it! Woohoohoo.
Come on. Let's get
the hell out of here.
Dog: They might still be out
there. Just pull back a little.
Dog: Wait until
daylight, then we'll see.
Okay.
Well, I'll take the chick in.
Dog: She's right below us.
Stupid hick, you wanna
run into one of them?
You think I'm bad? Well you just
wait until you see one of them.
What are they?
I don't know.
I just know you stay away from them.
What?
'Cuz if one of them touches
you you're dead, green dead.
Dog: 3 of them, move.
Dog: Come one.
Where are you?
Do: By the boiler. The
insulation might help.
Where are we going,
Vic. Why is it? Why....
Shut up, and hang on to me.
Dog: Hurry it up.
Dog: Help me up there.
Dog: Yes, this will do.
Dog: Clumsy.
Dog: I wonder how many
mattresses are in here.
Dog: Screamers certainly
wouldn't want to be confined.
Dog: Albert! Tell this to
keep it's hands to itself!
Dog: Maybe somebody else hid in here.
Dog: Get yer...
Dog: Oh well, somewhat
of a weak call I bet.
Catch anything yet?
Dog: Oh well, we're all right so far.
You be able to tell when they leave?
Dog: Yes, I'll be able to tell.
Dog: If they leave.
Just take it easy. Everything's
going to be all right.
That is, if we don't
get choked off in here.
Can you handle it?
Dog: Oh yes, Massah
Vic, I can handle it.
Dog: Ugh, breeding is an ugly thing.
..long enough for the final misses
to leave their silos on both sides
Let's see that was in 2006
Dog: 2007
Uhh...2007. It only lasted 5 days.
You're awfully smart to
know all that history..
Well Blood helps...a little.
Dog: Humph.
Haven't you ever been down under?
Nope.
Why?
It's very nice.
I heard how nice.
From a solo who raided one.
Well it's very nice, and you'd like it.
Bullshit!
That's very crude.
I'm very crude.
Not all the time.
Listen, ass, I grabbed you
and brung you down here.
So what's so good about me?
I didn't mind. I liked it.
You want to do it again?
Well I've never seen no
chick like you before.
Hey, I'm the one who's
supposed to wanna....do it.
Dog: Once more into
the breech dear friend.
Dog: Copula something that connects,
copulate from the
Latin copulatus doing...
Honey, it's good to just watch you.
Your waist falls in.
your hips out, they
fit right in my hands.
Just want to talk.
Dog: I'm not just going to keep
pretending I'm asleep, Albert.
Oh, boy, you're a bloody mess.
Dog: Well you're not exactly
a rose garden yourself.
We'll get out of here, yet.
Dog: Seems clear. I
better go have a look.
Think you, think you can
handle it in your condition?
Dog: Can I handle in my condition,
humph. I can handle several
hours on the rack to extricate
myself from this disgusting display.
Blood!
Dog: No sacrifice is too great...no, I
throw myself gladly into
the very jaws of death.
I don't think he likes me very much.
Blood?
Yeah.
Oh, he just feels bad.
He likes you a lot.
He told me so.
He did really?
Uh, huh.
That's nice, because I think he's cute.
How do you do it?
What?
Talk to him.
I don't know, I never thought about it.
Just talk.
Well, how come I can't hear him?
Uh, he said something one time.
He thought we had a feeling
for each other or something.
What do you mean, like love?
I guess.
I don't know.
He said we though alike.
Ha ha, I don't know.
Well, anyway...
We'll get a nice little place...
and, we'll spend a lot
of time together alone...
and do whatever we feel like doing.
and when Blood comes to visit
he can have his own room.
What are you talking about?
Well, I don't exactly think
he's going to fit in Down Under.
No way!
No, that's what I said.
No, I mean, no way
I'm going down there.
I'm going to be there.
No, you're not.
We'll make it up here, the 3 of us.
Vic, now I live there.
If you love me...
I don't care.
Dog: Come out here right now.
Dog: Vic, we need to talk.
What the hell's lumbering you.
Dog: Your headlong
plunge into stupidity.
Dog: Last night was inexcusable.
Dog: Leaving her for the pack would
have been the intelligent thing to do.
I wanted her.
Dog: I know you
wanted her about half a
hundred times. Why we
still hanging around?
I want her some more.
Well listen my friend I want to
get rid of this pain in my side
and I want to get away from here.
The screamers can come
back any time, you know.
Oh, what the hell you worrying
about that for. We
can handle all that.
That don't mean she can't go with us.
Dog: Go with us? Are
you out of your small mind?
Dog: What good is she? It's all
we can do to feed our own selves.
You know you're starting
to sound like a poodle.
Dog: You're starting
to sound like a jackass.
Sorry.
Blood, come on. Hey!
It will still be 50 50 with you and me.
Hell, I owe you.
Dog: Don't try that
hackney ruse on me.
Oh come on, I just meant like that time
that, that old screamer
made a grab for me.
You know that righteous
tone green he was too,
all glowing like a fungus,
oozing and eyelashes...
Boy, made a grab for
me, and you went for him.
You'd been burned bad, too, and died.
That would have been
all of it for you, right?
Dog: Now get that dramatic catch
out of your voice and tell me
how she's going to carry her share
of the load up here. Tell me....
All right, okay, just don't hang her
Dog: Harangue, not hang her..
I don't care whatever the
hell, you just knock of
the crap or we can forget
the whole stinking arrangement
Dog: Well, maybe we
should, you simple dumb putz.
Putz. What's a putz.
Is that something bad?
I'll bet it is. It's
something bad. You better watch
your stinking mouth or I'm
going to kick you in the butt.
Dog: Definitely a putz.
Oomph!
Dog: Hahaha, That means she can't
go with us. I told she was no good.
Okay, okay.
I just don't like being
made to feel guilty.
I'm going to do right by you.
Dog: I would highly recommend that
considering there are
several knowledgeable solos
around town who would
be delighted to work
with an accomplished
female provider like myself.
I also don't like being threatened.
Dog: It's not a threat, that's a fact.
No, that's a good way to
get that other leg broke.
Dog: Don't take your
petty frustrations out on me
Albert, I locate females I
don't guarantee their behavior.
What the hell's that?
Dog: Well how should I know?
Well smell it.
Dog: It's probably some ID she
used to get out of the Down Under.
Dog: Oh, now we're in a big hurry.
Dog: Now if you'd listened
to me last night instead of...
Dog: Wait a minute...you're not
thinking of following that....
Dog: You, you listen to me Albert.
Dog: You, you'll get killed out there.
Dog: Albert. Albert.
You come back here.
Dog: You idiot, you can't go
down there. You listen to me.
Dog: Because some stinking female
knocked you on the head
and bruised your ego,
Dog: there's no reason to
become a callous juvenile.
Dog: You stop this
instant Albert!.. Vic
Egg sucker.
All right.
Dog: Vic, please don't.
Dog: Please stop a
minute, please stop.
Dog: I don't know what to say,
there, how to make you understand.
Dog: Your not thinking clearly.
You can't go down there...
Dog: An ever hope to
come back and she knows it.
Dog: Down Unders hate solos. Enough
rover packs have
raided down there and...
Dog: and raped their woman
and stolen their food...
Dog: They'll have their defenses up
and they'll catch you
and they'll kill you.
What the hell do you care?
You're always saying you'll
better of without me anyway.
Dog: Oh forget about her, Vic.
Let her go, let's look for Over the
Dog: You get tired of me, you
find another partner somewhere,
Dog: Whatever you do,
don't follow here down there.
I got to, Blood.
I got to.
Dog: Hasn't occurred to you how
convenient this whole
operation has been?
Dog: How easy she was to
spot and follow and how she
Dog: Just think about
it Vic instead of walking
right into their hands. God
knows what they'll do with you.
Dog: We've been together
long time, good or bad...
Dog: This could be
the worst. I'm scared.
Dog: I'm scared you won't come
back and I'll have to find some
Dog: rover to take me on.
Dog: You know most rovers are in
packs now, and I'm
not that young anymore.
Dog: And I'll miss you, Vic.
Dog: I'll really miss you.
Well....
Try to get back as quick as I can.
Will you wait?
Dog: For a while,
then...Over the Hill.
Take care of yourself.
Dog: Do my best.
I'll catch up with you.
Dog: Sure.
Dog: So long...
Dog:...partner.
[high pitched hum)
And with these terrifying sounds
of primeval sounds of savagery
We close the committee's
presentation...
of sound tours into the past.
Today, chapter 3.
Africa the dark continent.
Tomorrow chapter 4, Alaska.
Michael, yellow
reference, a malfunction.
Level 10, up section 6.
Repeat, yellow reference
We often despise what is closest to us.
Another helpful hint from
the committee's almanac.
Now is the ??of the man.
It is exactly 10 am on
this Wednesday, June 29
Year of our Lord, 103
May I have the chicken salad please?
...and awards and punishment
session, committed to
all. Attendance discretionary.
One hour. I repeat one hour....
Be resolved therefore that Mrs. Eunice
Long has been declared
the blue ribbon winner...
of the annual Topeka canning festival.
and throughout the year of Lord, 103,
all preserved peaches,
be they canned or in jars,
shall bear her likeness and
inscription, Topeka Queen.
Michael, green reference.
hydroponics laboratory, number 173
Patty and Gordon McBurnat.
...of nutrient supplements....
...repeat, green reference....
This is the best the architects can do.
Pencil.
Why are they here?
Lack of respect. Wrong attitude.
Failure to obey authority.
Lectures?
Three.
Cut and dry then.
I think so.
That will do it.
Patty and Jordan McBurnat.
Any reason to be easy?
Not, when we...
put this in
and then we'll add...
That's that.
We find it almost
impossible to believe, that
you have ignored several
warnings by us to conform.
you of the rules that are vital to the
continue growth and
well being of our beloved
Topeka, but you did.
Defiance of this
committee duly elected and
ordained by the people
will not be tolerated.
The Farm. Both of them.
Now how did the last farms go, Miss.
Had cancer at the...No, No!
...no, let me see...
I had it down here.
No...no, it was an action
with farm machinery.
That's what it was.
Larry and Linda Lacey
March 17, of this year.
Let's make these heart attacks.
Heh.
Yeah, yeah, grief from the
committee, Dot will do the eulogy
Services at Lakeside
Methodist, the usual.
...and may God have mercy on your soul.
Now that's the way to
build a cotton head.
Quilla June
Honey! Come to papa.
Oh, aah. It sure is pleasing
to see you back home again.
Didn't have any trouble, everything
went okay, didn't have any trouble, eh?
No sir.
Aaah, that's fine, fine.
Sure did yourself proud missy.
The committee won't
forget it, no siree!
Then I'll be put on the committee
right away, like we talked about.
Hmm, don't you worry about it, little
girl, soon as there's an opening.
Mr. Craddock, I would
prefer not to wait.
After all, I did bring Vic down
here exactly like you told me to.
Now you just be patient Quilla June.
Have fun with the young
folks your own age.
Think about getting
married making a home.
Your time will come.
I'd rather be just like you, Miss Mez
And not wait.
Well, don't you worry, little girl.
I don't see why you don't...
That will be all, that will be all.
That young lady's going to be trouble.
Always has been. Any
reason for her to change?
Maybe you should have gone to three.
Uhhh, little childish.
Plotting doesn't bother me none.
Long as it stays little.
Miss, I...
See that she's one of the recipients.
Then marry her off to Harriman
and his boy, what's his name.
Charles.
Charlie, yeah.
If that don't cool her
ambitions, farm her out.
Horse manure.
You are one dumb committee,
stupid stinking ole Rotterloo.
I am bristling!
That is the only reason I went
along with their dumb plan.
[announcer: America, the land of
plenty, was the world's
greatest agricultural...]
They promised me.
Promised.
announcer: capable not only of
feeding its own hardworking...
They hinted.
Then they tried to shoo me off
without a by your leave, so I pushed.
Well you shouldn't have. I mean
they're going to be watching us now.
Gary, I don't care. I
am so sick and tired...
The Farm.
announcer: our Christian desire
to aid our brothers across the seas.
You're right.
I do care.
Okay
I'm going to smile.
and I'm going to curtsy
the right time to all the right people,
'cuz it ain't going to be much longer
The song of David
will not wait even for
you, Quilla June Holmes.
That is you class
Aah, yes Mrs. Cammock.
Oh, pigeon feed
Aah, I'm sorry I'll
be right there, ma'am.
See you later.
He and Vic were in the park together,
I turned my back for just a sec....
Ohhhhhh.
What did you and Vic talk about?
Come on, we want to know.
Well, Lew.
Huh?
Uh, sometimes I'm so confused.
There, good.
Now, how about it boy?
I mean, we're going to
find out any way, so..
Why don't you just tell us and it
will make it easier on all of us, huh?
What do you say, huh?
How about it boy?
The Farm, immediately.
announcer: Grandmother's Conrad's
recipe for rhubarb marmalade.
Let me go, god dammit, aargh.
announcer: and lemon jam.
Ah, what did the exam show?
It's about the usual cold
virus, it's a little high
blood pressure to be expected
under these conditions.
There no infection, he's well
developed and reasonably well nourished.
..intelligence average,
emotional responses simplistic
Most marked finding is his
overtly aggressive behavior.
in other words, he's
extremely physical.
As you may have noticed.
Hehe, well now son.
Suck wind, duck brain
Better be nice, boy.
I hope all your stinking
kids are harelips.
Michael?
All right.
Better behave, son.
Along with many other organisms...
somehow managed to stay alive up above
You have been studied, observed
Unobtrusively, of course.
Living habits, common sense
tenacity
physical prowess
Out of the many
You have been chosen
Led down here by...
Quilla June
to be the recipient
of an honor
Now she's a scumbag!
Watch your foul mouth, boy.
When anybody on the committee speaks
You just keep still and listen.
Hey, how would like to have
a rifle rammed up your butt.
Michael!
All right, all right
You show respect, boy.
As I was saying
to be the recipient of an honor
that occurs but once
in several decades.
Now Mez...
let me have the original
elders proclamation, will you.
The fruit of your loins will enable the
productive citizenry of
Topeka to overcome metabolic
changes resulting from
months of subterranean living.
allow it to keeps its leadership
in the drive through to make this
in God's own image.
See, we've been underground too long.
Our woman can't get pregnant.
Every once and awhile
we need new blood.
We, need a new man.
announcer: We are never
so happy, nor unhappy..
..a man...
announcer: ...as we imagined...
announcer: Another helpful hint
for living, from the committee's..
..special kind of man...
Hahaha, you mean you want
me to knock you broads?
You talked me into it. Line them up.
You first, honey.
Take your hands off me.
Together with beseech thee..
..in the way of
righteousness and peace that
loving
and serving thee with one heart
and mind all the days of their life
they may be abundantly
enriched the tokens of
thy everlasting favor
Amen.
By authority vested
in me by the Committee
I hereby pronounce
you husband and wife.
According to the
ordinances and the laws
of the state of Topeka.
What got has put together,
let no man put asunder.
Amen.
announcer: a man should never be
ashamed to admit he
has been in the wrong
announcer: Which is but
saying he is wiser today...
announcer: then he was yesterday
announcer: another helpful hint for
living, from the committee's almanac.
Mez, you would have something
to help a well used throat
Be sure to get both
parents to sign right here.
Now, let's see brother Hathaway.
announcer: Michael, amber reference
announcer: air intake
valve, number 12.
announcer: shaft 17B.
announcer: Indicates heat buildup.
announcer: repeat amber reference.
Chapter One, verse twenty-two, mayor.
God blessed them and said
be fruitful and multiply.
God Bless, that's a B.
You almost asked yourself
out of this honor, young lady.
Sir?
The committee.
Oh, well, I'm sure the
committee knows best.
Where are your parents?
Aah, Miss Mez said
it would be all right.
Uhh, they must have come down with
something because they
sure don't feel well.
Shall we keep the
schedule? Dearly beloved
Uhh, Brother Har...
Dearly beloved we are
gathered here today...
They made me do it.
You don't understand,
they made me do it.
Don't you give me that
I'm sorry bullshit.
You're as crazy as
these other damn nuts.
Keep your voice down.
Maybe stupid, but
they're not dumb like you.
Oh no? They bring me down
here to make babies and then
hook me up to this
machine, that's real smart.
It's population control, Vic,
in case you haven't heard of it.
35 girls are impregnated and then
you are killed, do you understand?
There are idiots like you
running around the place.
So you wiggled your little butt...
And teased me down
here to get beaten up.
They said kill me if
I didn't. Listen...
...and there is another thing
I want you to make sure of
on this most solemn and joyous...
I'm going to run Topeka.
You and me.
and maybe some others.
We'll be the committee.
Do anything we want, any time we want.
Let them bow and scrape for a change.
Just by springing me?
Yeah, and getting rid of the committee.
Where's my heat?
Huh?
My guns, where's my guns?
In the committee office.
How you got it figured?
Okay
Right out this door to
the right is Michael.
There's a crowd there.
We run through the crowd..
They'll come unglued, and
right to the right again
Big doors. Through the
doors we have help outside.
Don't panic.
God damn it.
announcer: another
helpful hint for living
from the committees almanac.
Your guns are to the right.
What happened?
They'll probably be coming up.
They folded like I said they would.
Hey listen, Michael's got to be first.
And Jeb, then Wilson,
or we're all in trouble.
announcer: And then the faint thunder
became an uproar the winds
changed to a great vibration of..
Then Lew, then Mez.
Then Doc. Kill Lew first,
'cuz he's the important one.
Where you going? The
church is this way.
Hey, we got to get them
when they are together.
Where you going?
I'm getting the hell out of here
I want to see Blood again.
I want to get into a
good straightforward
fight with some sonofabitch
over a can of beans.
I gotta get back in
the dirt so I feel clean
Wait a minute.
How can you just put
us out in the open.
You got to help us.
Good luck baby.
Vic please. You dirty, filthy,
stinking, rotten, animal.
You stupid animal. You
think I let you slobber
all over me and paw me
so's you can walk out now?
I didn't bring you down
here so they could use you.
I brought you down
here so I could use you.
You better kill them, then
I don't care what you do.
Please, no, don't leave
darling, please help me
I love you, I love you
My lips said that 'cuz you believe me.
Please, Vic.
announcer: cooking skillets of
preferably of the non-stick variety..
announcer: fry the bacon
until brown, but not too crisp
announcer: then set it aside to drain
announcer: pour off all but
two tablespoons of the fat..
I don't understand
you, all you can think
about is going back up
there, and about your dog.
That's like all the time we spent
together didn't mean anything to you.
announcer: but they don't brown now
I don't see what's wrong with
staying down here and
running the committee.
announcer: add the corn beef and
reserve the liquid for the potatoes
There they are. Killing them can
bring everything down here in powers
announcer: Two tablespoons
of chopped parsley
announcer: and add the greens.
Mix together gently but thoroughly
Oh, to kick them out. We
can do whatever we please.
announcer: and add salt and
freshly ground pepper to taste..
Kill them, Vic, now.
announcer: Red reference.
announcer: repeat red, red reference.
Moron
announcer: The committee.
Do it!
The Committee, sitting
an extraordinary session
11:37 am.
July 4, year of our lord, 103
All present.
Bestow upon the Committee
thy servants of the seal
thine approval and thy
fatherly benediction.
granting on to them grace to fulfill
with pure and steadfast affection
the ordinances and the laws.
The state of Topeka, Amen.
You have ignored several warnings by us
informed of the rules that are vital
to continue the growth
of our beloved Topeka
What's been ordained by the
people could not be tolerated
Quilla June.
announcer: Quilla June Holmes
2006, 1 hundred and 44
Lack of respect, wrong attitude,
failure to obey authority
How say you one and all?
Aye. Aye. Aye.
The Farm, immediately.
Gary.
Gary Maroy Franklin, number 2598.
Lack of respect, wrong attitude,
failure to obey authority.
How say you one and all?
Aye. Aye. Aye.
The Farm, immediately.
announcer: Richard
Richard Van Ricecue, number 2601
announcer: Lack of respect.
wrong attitude failure...
All right.
Vic, I'll show you the way
out. Let's get out of here.
Vic.
The Farm, immediately.
I'll show you the way out, All
right, I'll show you the way out.
Kenneth.
Please, let's just get out of here.
I'll take care of you and Blood.
I'll do anything you want to do.
Vic, remember in the boiler room?
announcer: wrong
attitude, failure to...
How say you one and all?
Aye, aye, aye.
First thing that boys ever done.
A shame.
Vic, please, let's get out of here.
Same, Farm, immediately.
And may God have mercy on your soul.
announcer: Take the the
bacon fat in the skillet
announcer: add dash, and with a
spatula spread evenly..
announcer: cook uncovered over
moderate heat for 30 to 40 minutes
announcer: turning now and again
to prevent the hash from sticking
announcer: As it cooks remove
that excess fat from that
announcer: and with the spoon....
Kill him! Up there, kill him.
You kill him....aargh!
announcer:...it's the
third of Sept, 261....
Kill him....aaaah
announcer: Number 2601...
Let's get on with. Jack?
Of the 35 proposed recipients,
10 have been serviced.
We need another donor of course.
Let's run...I have to kill him, Vic.
Put the third program back in effect.
Scratch the boys name.
Concentrate on the rest of the list.
Whichever one we pick...Make
sure we have better security.
announcer: then place a
large round platter over the
skillets and gripping platter
and skillets firmly together...
Stop him, Vic, stop him.
announcer: if any of
the hash...lift it up...
Ooh, we got to keep him in check.
Now I've been talking about
the meaning of this, and
announcer: and serve
poached eggs if desired.
Come on, come on come on.
Hurry
announcer: one cup
diced cooked vegetables
Let's get another Michael
out of the warehouse.
This time, make sure the department
wipes that smile off his face.
announcer: 4 tablespoons
of finely chopped parsley
announcer: one cup
of heavy cream, salt
announcer: and freshly
ground, black, pepper.
Oh....
Blood?
Blood!
You kept me down there too long.
Come on with me, let's go.
Over The Hill, that's where
he went, and we need him.
Well, let's catch up with him.
I don't know where it is.
If Blood knows, why didn't he tell you?
Dog: Vic!
Blood?
Dog: Vic!
Blood?
Blood!
Dog: Hello, partner.
Blood, we made it back.
Dog: Who's your new tailor, Albert?
How long has it been since you ate?
Dog: Grabbed a lizard yesterday, uh
Dog: Maybe it was the day
before. I can't seem to remember...
Well, we got to leg it into town
and get you something to eat fast.
Dog: No, Fellini's
taken everything over.
Dog: Slaughtered every
solo who wouldn't join him.
Dog: Whole town's under their control
Dog: Can't get any food there
Dog: You can't even go back at all.
Okay, just take it easy.
Dog: I can't take it any other way.
Dog: I'm almost gone...
Dog: Better just leave and find
some place where you can stay alive.
Heh, how about Over The Hill, Tiger?
Dog: Hmm, I can't make
it the way I am now.
Dog: But you might be able to.
He needs food and he needs medicine.
We've got to get it fast.
'Cuz we can't make it without him.
We're too late, darling.
There's nothing we can do about it now.
Vic, we've got to get out of here.
We're going to be together.
You want us to be together.
Now, I love you.
If you love me, you'll come on, too.
Dog: You haven't eaten a bite.
I'm not hungry.
Dog: Um, I really appreciate this.
Dog: Well, let's press on.
Dog: Now, where were you?
Dog: Oh yeah in the hospital.
Oh Blood, come on.
Dog: You know if they just let you
have your way with the blushing bride
Dog: Instead of hooking
you up to the machine
Dog: You'd probably
never come back up.
You sure you had enough to eat?
Dog: Oh yes
Dog: I'm satiated.
What?
Dog: Nothing, I said I'm full
Dog: But after we walk all day, you'll
probably have to cook up what's left.
She said she loved me.
Oh hell, it wasn't my fault she
picked me to get all wet-brained over.
Dog: Well I'd say she had
marvelous judgment, Albert
Dog: If not particularly good taste
Dog: particularly good....
A boy and his dog
go walking
A boy and his dog sometimes
talk to each other.
A boy and a dog
can be happy sitting
down in the woods on a log
but a dog knows his boy can go wrong.
A boy and his dog
can go fishing
A boy can teach a
dog to bring a dish in
when he's hungry.
A boy and his dog
can be happy sitting
out in the woods on a log
but a dog knows his boy can go wrong.
"Do you know what love is?"
"A boy loves his dog"