1
Jared!
Why are you upset, honey?
I want my jersey.
Well, it's because it's dirty.
I want it.
You know, today is your
first day at school.
What?
You like to play
something in particular?
Uh, soccer.
You like to play soccer.
And?
And basketball!
What's your favorite color?
Uh...
Uh, blue and yellow.
- Blue...
- And yellow.
And yellow.
What would you like to be
when you grow up?
Motorcycle driver!
Bye! Hi!
Jared. You should
come down for breakfast.
I wish none of this
had ever happened.
But sometimes,
I thank God that it did.
Please, repeat after me.
Let your light shine.
Let your light shine.
Now, let me see
a show of hands
for those of you in this room
who are imperfect.
Everybody.
That's right.
And a show of hands for everybody
in this room who is perfect.
- Nobody.
- Amen.
I am blessed with a
beautiful and deeply soulful wife.
And with a fine, upstanding,
and honest son.
I'm a lucky man.
And I'm grateful
for those blessings.
Please don't do that.
You know that makes me nervous.
What if a truck comes along
and hits your arm?
- It's never gonna happen.
- It's happened before.
It has. It has.
Good morning.
Welcome to Love in Action.
Hi.
Name?
Uh, Nancy Eamons.
Oh, um, the boy, I mean.
- Unless you're the one checking in.
- Jared Eamons.
Got you right here.
Great. Do you want
to say your goodbyes?
Can I see the place?
I'm afraid you won't be allowed beyond
the reception area, Mrs. Eamons,
- but you can pick him up at 5:00 p.m.
- Oh.
Okay.
It's okay, Mom.
Well, call me any time.
I'll be at the hotel on my cell phone.
Uh, we will be
holding his cell phone.
If there are any emergencies,
we will contact you.
But otherwise, 5:00 p.m.
You'll do great.
Love you.
Newbie. Eamons.
Empty your pockets.
Do you have any numbers or photos
we should be concerned about?
We'll check it daily and call
any number at random,
so you best be straight
with us on that.
There's nothing. And, yeah,
call whatever numbers if you need to.
"Sobriety.
No smoking, no alcohol or drugs."
"Off hours. All clients to remain
within a safe zone area as designated."
"Attire. Women's skirts
must extend below the knee
"and bras are to be worn
at all times."
What's that?
- Oh, it's, um...
- I write stories.
I'm studying in a college...
No journaling. We're gonna
have to read that.
"Confidentiality.
"All matters discussed in
therapy are to remain private."
"Restrooms.
"Members must be supervised by
staff during restroom visits."
- Your handbook.
- Oh, yeah.
Good luck.
Thank you.
"No viewing of pornographic
material, no masturbation,
"no physical contact
with any member at any time,
"apart from the briefest
of handshakes."
Michael for Aaron,
how many clients
are we expecting today?
Copy, Michael.
Hold, please.
Uh, just one second, Jared.
We should have 11 today.
Well, we have more
in the lobby.
It's okay.
We should get another five minutes.
Copy.
Jared, if you just want to go
find yourself a seat
and then make yourself comfortable.
We'll get started soon.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Morning.
Hi.
"Sinful, salacious,
and extraneous materials.
"All reading material
and films and television
"are off limits
while inside the program."
I am using sexual sin and homosexuality
to fill a God-shaped void
in my life.
I am using sexual sin
and homosexuality
to fill a God-shaped void
in my life.
But I am not broken,
and God loves me.
But I am not broken,
and God loves me.
Good.
That is very true.
Now somebody tell me
what this is.
A dollar.
A dollar.
Now, no matter how much
you crumple up a dollar bill,
you can never
take away its value.
Now even if
you were to rip it,
which would represent
our being severed from Christ,
well, guess what?
You can always
tape it back together.
Jesus puts us back together.
And even though there is a scar,
our value does not change.
- You are somebody.
- Sorry.
You are worth something.
That's okay, Jon. Sit down.
And that is a fact.
Don't spend it all at once, Phillip.
Now, this may be the toughest,
but most rewarding
12 days that many of you
will ever face.
But we have just one task,
to bring ourselves
back to God.
To invite him back in.
To understand how he
truly meant to create us
before all those pieces
got torn away.
Now, look, I know the road here
wasn't easy for many of you.
But I promise a smoother ride
now that you're here.
Because we are about to go on
an amazing journey together.
So, who's ready?
That was a question.
Who's ready? Say amen!
Amen.
Amen!
If you know you're worth a dollar, say amen!
Amen!
Welcome to the
Refuge program! Come on!
That's right, great souls!
Great!
Now, I'm gonna
tell you something
that's gonna make you immediately
feel a little better.
People tell you you can be born gay,
that's not true.
You cannot be born a homosexual,
this is a lie.
Now, I'm a counselor and a pastor,
but was I born that way?
No.
It's behavioral.
It's a choice.
Cameron, you,
you, uh, play football? Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Were you born that way?
- No.
- No.
Now, you chose to be
a football player, right?
It's behavior.
Now, if you...
If Cameron stops playing football,
he no longer
is a football player.
We gotta learn for ourselves
where behavior comes from
so we can cut it out
and then we can no longer
be labeled that way.
Now, who can tell us
what a genogram is?
Phillip.
- Well, a genogram is like a family tree...
- Mmm.
...only one that shows patterns
of family behavior as well.
Sort of like
an illustrated one.
Yes. Now, we are
going to draw our family tree
and we're gonna list next to these
people their behavioral sin.
So, they made us
and they labeled us,
so we're gonna label them.
Michael, can you read
the behavioral sins?
We use the letters SSA or H
to label same sex attraction
or homosexuality,
D for drugs,
a dollar sign for gambling,
A, alcoholism,
P, promiscuity,
M, mental illness,
capital A, lowercase B
for abortion,
capital P, lowercase O
for pornography,
and C or G,
criminal or gang affiliation.
You're forgetting DV,
domestic violence.
Capital D,
lowercase V, domestic violence.
Okay.
Guys, let's dive right in.
Let's grab some cards
and some markers.
I want you to write them down
and put the letters
next to their names.
I know they're family,
but I can guarantee that
one or some of these people
are the reason
that you're at Love in Action.
So, Jared, you must be
the preacher's son.
You know or you don't know.
What's the question mark for?
Uncle Chris is an alcoholic.
Hmm.
Well, this must be pretty
tough on your family, huh?
Give ear,
O my people, to my law.
Incline your ears
to the words of my mouth.
I will open my mouth
in a parable.
I will utter dark sayings
which we have heard.
No.
Sounds good, Dad.
Are you ready?
We gotta get going.
Why are we
going to Dallas tomorrow?
Architect's updated the, uh,
remodel plans for the ministry.
Now we're gonna take a tour of
two similar churches right there.
Do you think I could stay at
Chloe's when you go instead?
It's okay,
I can stay at Wayne's.
- Or... Or, I'll just...
- I'm okay with that.
In fact, I think
it is a great idea.
You're both mature kids who
know how to conduct themselves
and who by now know
how the world works.
You know, son, small steps toward manhood.
That's the way to learn.
That way you don't get all
panicky when it suddenly arrives.
You do know
what I'm saying, Romeo?
- Yes, sir.
- Okay.
Let's go, we're late.
Dear Heavenly Father,
we thank you for this beautiful day
and, Lord, we pray that
you look over our shoulder
as we march out onto the floor
and that we show our customers the
love and kindness that you show us.
In Jesus Christ's name
and for his sake...
Morning!
Let your light shine!
- Amen.
- Amen.
- All right.
- Have a great day.
Rebels on three.
One, two, three...
Rebels!
You did so good.
Right, buddy? Assists, one of the most
underrated components of the game.
- Congratulations.
- I saw you setting up all the points.
- Oh, that's victory sweat.
- Dad, I'm...
- Yeah!
- I played, like, five minutes.
- Hey.
- I think you played more than that.
How about you?
Another underrated component of the game.
- Thank you. How are you?
- Congratulations, beautiful girl.
I was worried about you.
I thought they were going to drop you.
Oh, no,
don't worry.
You kids going
to go celebrate?
Yeah, some of us,
I think we're gonna go to the lake.
All right. The lake.
All right. Dealership's going to put
me in an Expedition, so it's yours.
Wow.
- Dad!
- All right.
It's gonna be
for your birthday,
but tonight's a good night,
so congratulations.
- Thank you so much. Thank you.
- Go and have fun.
I want to see if your mama
wants to go to the lake.
They're still up.
What?
If it's not hard,
I can make it hard.
Don't you think we should wait until,
you know...
Until...
- You know...
- Until what? We get married?
That's what my parents think
we should do.
To keep us together
through college.
Hey.
Is something wrong?
No.
Jared.
Ready to pack it up?
We're about done for the day. Looks nice.
5:00, everyone!
It's home time.
- Bye.
- 5:00, let's go!
All right, everybody,
pack it up.
Name tag.
- Thanks.
- 9:00 a.m. tomorrow.
Uh...
Hey,
you tore out the pages.
- Mmm.
- They're just stories.
Mr. Sykes will decide that.
For Michael.
Go for Michael.
Are you still in the office?
Are you... Are you a soldier?
Were you in the military or something?
- I saw you salute earlier.
- No.
- I'm trying zero contact whatsoever.
- Mmm.
Twenty-three days now.
So, I salute instead.
This group seems good.
Have you been here before?
Yeah, it's my second time
in the Refuge program.
I started a couple days late
last time.
And actually, I'm waiting for a
place to open in one of the houses.
- What houses?
- The houses.
They have a few houses behind the
property for the long stayers.
Meanwhile, I'm stuck
at the Baybrook with my dad,
which is interesting.
- Are you in one of the local hotels, too?
- Yeah.
So, like, how long
will you stay for?
It's not really up to me.
Mr. Sykes decides.
- No one explained that to you?
- No, no.
This is just an assessment program,
until they know what to do with you.
Hey, listen.
Just lean into it, man.
Yeah.
Do the work
and trust me, man,
you're gonna love it here.
Aren't you gonna
tell me about your day?
We're not meant to talk
about it outside of group.
I don't need gossip, I just...
I just mean generally.
I'm gonna lean into it
and there are
some good people.
And, yeah, I like it.
- I'm excited to be here.
- That's good!
Do we have people in the family who
had issues with any of this stuff?
- Pornography?
- Mom...
Drugs? Gang affiliation.
Gang affiliations?
What is this?
I need to know for homework.
Why do they need to know
about the family?
Our family is so normal.
Big day tomorrow, hmm?
You get some good sleep, now.
Oh, um, I filled out
your homework for you.
I was only in a gang for a year or
so until I went down for drugs.
Got sent to prison.
Haha!
I put your Uncle Vincent
down there.
You've never met him because he moved to
Louisiana when you were little, so...
We just never see him.
We always figured that he...
He was very feminine-like,
you might say.
All right. Oh, I'm tired.
- Night night.
- Good night.
What is a real man?
What does
a real man look like?
Does anybody know?
Guys, uncross your legs.
Posture, come on.
Now, perhaps being close
to the flames of hell
and finding your way back
shows a great strength.
And if that were so, then,
if this isn't a real man,
then I don't know what is.
This is Brandon Ellis, guys.
I want you to say hello.
- Thanks, Sykes.
- Make him welcome.
Over to you, Brandon.
God bless, God bless.
A real man to me is a man
of God first and foremost
and I'm a man of God,
no doubt.
I guess that counts me in.
But I wasn't once.
If I was ever listed
on my own son's genograms,
there'd be so many of these letters
next to my name it would look like
qualifications for some fancy university.
Drugs, violence,
gang crime, prison time,
but I actually believe
I'm qualified to be here.
Not because I've ever had the
types of thoughts and feelings
that y'all are wrestling with,
or that your other guidance
counselors have overcome righteously.
But I've had all sorts of my own trials
that took me so far away from the Lord
that it's a true miracle that I'm
standing here before you today.
But I am. I am.
Standing, leaning, sitting.
All the same idea.
Triangles are
the strongest shape.
Remember, hands on hips. Go!
Save yourself.
Fingers forward, not back.
Just the way it is.
Think of the shapes you're
making and ask yourself,
"Is this a manly shape I'm making or
is it a girly or feminine shape?"
Sarah, come on up here.
Come on,
you delicate flower, you.
Okay.
I want you to arrange
these guys into a line
in terms of masculinity,
if you will.
Go on, you can do it.
Follow your instincts.
Myself and other addicts and
alcoholics put our faith in AA.
Get familiar with this phrase,
"Fake it till you make it."
Y'all folks and kids being
what you're afflicted with,
you gotta learn
how to survive.
When you're in prison,
you'd surprise yourself
what you can do to fit in.
Come on, Phillip.
Eye on the ball.
Come on! Okay, next.
Fake it till you make it.
Become the man you are not.
So, you think Cameron here
is the big winner, huh?
You think being big and tall
and overeating immediately puts
a guy at the front of the line.
But it's more than triangles
and postures and genetics.
A firm handshake...
Let's go! Do it!
Gotta pick up the bat.
Hold the bat up!
Get back up on that horse!
All right, just get him
out of there.
Lee, you're gonna be okay.
Jared, you're up next.
Good.
Military man.
God bless, son.
Who you are on the inside can
be affected by the outside.
Outside in, fake it till you make it,
adapt to survive.
See, that's a batting stance.
That's what I'm talking about.
Boom!
Lesbian, gay, bisexual,
transsexual, whatever that is,
multisexual, intellectual-sexual,
I mean, what else do you want?
Unicorns? Squirrels? Cupcakes? I mean, rainbows?
There's so much choice
in this group.
But, hey, think about this.
What are the consequences to those choices?
Have a look at this.
Rape, abuse, AIDS.
What sinful things
have y'all done?
Moral inventory.
Catalogue your sins
and ask God's forgiveness.
Who's ready?
Sarah!
"I would look at other girls
in the changing rooms before gym
"and in the showers.
"My biggest sin is one
that I am also thankful for
"because it has led me
to Love in Action."
Doing well, Sarah.
Carry on.
"I had run away
from my uncle's house
"and stayed with some girls I
knew whose parents were away.
"It was there that I finally
acted on my homosexual thoughts."
Come on, Sarah.
"I let a girl touch my...
"Kiss my...
"My vagina."
Nobody's judging, come on.
"And put her fingers
inside me and I did the same.
"I renounce these
sinful thoughts and actions
"and ask God to forgive me
all these things."
Very good.
We love you, Sarah.
Repeat after me.
We love you, Sarah.
- We love you, Sarah.
- Very good.
- Do you want some water?
- I'm fine, thanks.
- Can I get you anything else?
- I'm... I'm fine, thank you.
How dare you
humiliate a child like that!
Is that what you guys do?
You like that?
You like doing that?
You like humiliating and abusing children?
- It's not easy.
- What do you mean it's not easy?
- Lee's parents.
- His parents are here.
Listen to yourself.
With respect,
we are not running a holiday camp here.
We paid you $3,000.
I should report you.
- You could have given him a concussion.
- David, let's go.
But this
change doesn't come easy.
Unbelievable!
Do you all find the reason
y'all are here is funny?
Look at y'all!
People!
I'm trying to help you.
So, do not waste my time.
Nobody is to discuss the
therapy outside these walls.
Do I make myself clear?
Here.
I got you, pal.
- Oh, sorry, sorry.
- I got that.
Thank you so much.
Which, uh...
Which room you in?
I'm in, uh, 317.
I'm in 237. You run?
- Yeah.
- I figure.
- People who run know about Asics, right?
- Oh, yeah.
Here. This is me.
First one in gets to choose.
You got a girl?
If so, you might want to think about
applying for a room without bunks.
Just broke up.
Oh.
That's perfect timing
for college.
We're a good fit.
Hate running with slowpokes.
I tell you what,
I race you on the way back.
Last one back has to go
to the other one's church.
Why?
What kind of church is it?
You game or not?
Okay.
- One, two, three, go!
- Two, three, go!
- Jared.
- Hey, man. Nice to meet you.
You say your roommate's
not back till tomorrow?
He's on some golf trip.
Do you want to crash?
Uh, maybe.
Good night.
Good night.
Can't sleep, huh?
Probably shouldn't run
so late at night.
You okay?
Yeah.
Yeah, just...
It's okay.
It's okay.
Hey, it's okay. It's okay.
Wait, wait.
No.
Stop, stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop!
Ow!
Come on,
keep it down in there.
What
the hell is wrong with me?
I'm so sorry.
I'm going to be
in so much trouble.
I need to confess.
I need to confess.
Will you hear me?
- Please.
- Uh-huh.
Do you remember the kid
from church?
The one in front of us.
Something happened
with me and him.
Something pretty bad.
You wouldn't dare
tell anyone, would you?
Please.
Keep it between us.
Start with Chapter 6, please.
What a surprise.
Oh!
- Hello.
- Is this Mrs. Nancy Eamons?
This is she.
I'm a counselor
at Danning College.
I'm afraid I have some disturbing news
about your son's behavior at school.
What?
What about him?
- Did he give you a name?
- I need you to answer my question.
- If he gave you a name...
- Please, Jared, just answer.
I'm just saying.
Why wouldn't he...
Have you been doing
the things he said?
- Why wouldn't he give you a name?
- Come on, son, enough.
Tell me the truth.
- I'm asking questions, too.
- He didn't give me a name. I don't...
The guy's full of shit.
- He's telling a bunch of lies.
- Now, you will not talk like that
in this house
in front of your mother.
You just watch your mouth.
Nancy, if... If you could just
give us a moment, you know,
- just to...
- I'm... I'm leaving...
Sit down.
You will not leave the room.
You will sit down, boy.
- You will sit down.
- It's bullshit, Dad. It's bullshit.
I just asked you
to watch your mouth.
I think, um,
he said he was a counselor,
and then...
And I asked for his name
- and then I asked for...
- Nancy.
- You see?
- His number and he didn't...
Nancy, please.
Dad, I...
He's made all of this up.
Let's just sit here.
- We're just going to talk calmly.
- All right. All right.
- No, Dad.
- Jared.
I just need you to tell me
the truth, that's all.
What this man says
of you, Jared.
Are you a homosexual?
Jared.
We are not finished.
- I am, because you won't listen.
- Honey. Honey.
- What this man says, is it true?
- What, this full-of-shit guy...
- Answer me.
- ...who is not a counselor,
who raped a kid
at his own church
and God knows who else.
Dad, you're hurting me.
- Marshall.
- His name is Henry Wallace.
He's... He's not a counselor,
he's a student.
- All right.
- And... And...
He told me
he did some bad things.
I think he thinks
I'm going to tell on him.
Honey.
Son.
Fight!
Go to war!
Your mother's making dinner.
I'm okay. I'm not hungry.
I want you to write down
this man's name,
his church, phone number if you have it.
Any information at all.
- I don't want you to talk to him.
- I ain't going to talk to him.
If he's been doing what you say,
then he needs to be reported.
Okay.
Now, you know what I did? I invited Chloe
and her parents for lunch tomorrow.
I was thinking it would be fun
if you could join in.
Missing one more day of class
ain't gonna end the world.
You know, Jared...
...as far as I can tell,
we've only got
one God-given right.
And that is when a man
and a woman come together.
They may create life.
You think how much
God must love mankind
- to give us that awesome responsibility.
- Dad.
It's really not true.
You know what I think about
these type of games, too.
Be respectful to your mother
when she calls.
You come down and eat.
Honey.
All right.
You want me to stop with the games?
I'll stop with them.
I broke up with Chloe
because...
We broke up
because I think it's true
about me.
God help me.
I think about men.
I don't know why.
I'm so sorry.
God bless you, pastor.
- Are you okay?
- I've had better days,
I can tell you that.
- Just a minute. Just a minute.
- Mom?
Hold on.
All right.
Why are Pastor Wilkes
and Jim Picard here?
Pastor Wilkes has dealt with
this kind of thing before.
Jim has a son, Eddie,
who, um...
You were a little boy,
but...
Anyway.
- What did they do to him?
- Oh, no.
You silly thing.
They didn't do
anything to him.
They did things for him,
all right?
Just like they're gonna do
things for you.
Your father's wondering...
He's wondering how to help.
Come here.
It's all gonna be all right.
We've got one question
for you, son,
and we're gonna let you sleep.
It's been a big day.
I have shared
our conversations
with these two fine, upstanding men and
I have asked them for their guidance.
I can tell you right now
we don't have all the answers.
But I do know that you gonna
hold the key to the next step.
Your mother and I,
we cannot see
a way that you can live
under this roof,
attend service and work
at the dealership
if you're going to fundamentally go
against the grain of our beliefs
and against God himself.
I'm gonna ask you
that question now, son.
In your heart,
do you want to change?
Yes.
Yes, I want to change.
Come a little closer, son.
Pastor Wilkes,
could you ask Jesus
to shine his light
on my boy at this time?
Heavenly Father, I ask your
blessing for this family.
Give them strength.
Unleash your power
for one of your flock, Jared,
who has lost his way.
We pray, Lord,
that you make him pure
and that you return him
safely back to us
and see that the errors of his way are
nothing more than a momentary straying.
We pray that
he see the path of faith
and that he strive
to be honest
and that he then find the joy
of a new life.
In His name we pray.
Amen.
Jared.
How's college treating ya?
Uh, it's going good.
Yeah. It's good.
Your father's asked me
to take some of your blood.
He wants me to...
To check for
testosterone levels.
I'm in a bit of a bind here, Jared, and I...
I said this to your mother, too.
Now, I am a religious woman, there's...
There's no... No question,
but I have also been
to medical school,
and, well, you can say that
I hold science in one hand
and God in the other, and that
is not always an easy balance.
And I know that everybody would
like for me to say otherwise
and send you down
to the pharmacy for a...
A pill that would magically fix you,
but that's not gonna happen.
But I'm gonna take your blood
and I know...
I know
what it's gonna show me.
That you are a perfectly normal,
very healthy teenage boy.
Jared, it's not my place to tell
you that your parents are wrong,
but let's say
that they are wrong.
I understand your father signed
you up for a program next month.
Whatever happens next,
it is still your choice.
It may not feel that way,
but it is.
You're 18.
Do you have anything that you'd...
You'd like to say to me?
Any... Any questions?
No.
Jared?
Morning.
So, I wanted to talk to you
about these.
Uh, your writing.
This "Remy and Lucy met at midnight
under the stars on Willow Street."
What...
Tell me about these.
It's... It's just...
It's a story.
It's a love story about a boy
and a girl, correct?
- Yeah.
- But were you thinking
about two boys
when you wrote this?
- No.
- Be honest.
No, it's just a story.
It's just an assignment
for college.
Jared, I've seen your reading
list for college. I have it here,
and listen, The Picture
of Dorian Gray, Lolita,
I mean, some of these...
These books, Jared,
considering everything that's
going on for you right now,
I don't know that college
is really the best thing
for you to be
pursuing at all.
A year with us may be a much,
much better use of your time,
given everything that I see,
and everything
that's at stake.
And I'm willing to say that
to your parents.
Listen, I've had
many wonderful conversations
with your parents.
Lovely people.
So, I know some of your story.
And I know that there is
quite a discrepancy
between what they were told
and what you said.
And you gotta understand that
they don't know what to believe,
and that's very troubling
for them.
But I think that
you and I know
that there is a whole
lot more to the story,
and, you know, we're not here
on mere thoughts alone.
Jared, the... The people that
get the most out of this place
are the people that are just
really brave and honest
and lay everything on the table,
ugly as it seems,
and fess up to
what God already sees.
And then, I can really truly assess
what is the best future for you.
Okay, son?
Yeah. Yeah.
Dear Heavenly Father,
today I ask your forgiveness for my sins.
For a year, we lived together under
the cover of being roommates.
But in reality, the whole time I
was committing the sin of sodomy.
And then my family discovered the truth
and brought me back to my senses.
They helped me realize
that I was fooling myself.
That I was being fooled.
That I was seduced into a life of
sin by all sorts of sinful people.
And I knew in my heart that I
had forsaken Jesus for Satan.
But now,
I am awake to my sins.
I'm enlightened,
I'm here with all of you
and I'm disgusted at the
person that I once was.
I want to ask God
for his forgiveness,
and I want to thank
all of you guys,
especially you, Mr. Sykes,
for helping me get back
on the path to righteousness.
We love you, Gary.
We love you, Gary.
Please don't do that, honey.
You know I...
Mom, who did that happen to
and when?
Seriously. Do you know?
Do you actually know
who that happened to?
It never happened.
Parents want
to protect their kids.
- So they feed them lies.
- I think that they're okay lies.
What? Like not telling me
how long I might be here for?
You know the whole thing you
and Dad are paying for here
is all about how messed up
we are by our parents.
They want to know about you.
That's why you can't know all about it,
because then they wouldn't get
their money out of you.
What have I
ever done to you, hmm?
Talk about me all you want.
My conscious is clean.
Honey.
I'm gonna go for a run.
Is that okay, Mom?
Mmm-hmm.
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Please,
please give me strength.
I need your help.
Amen.
I'm reading it.
No debate.
I have a right to know
what they're teaching you.
I don't see why anyone would read
it unless you absolutely had to.
I need to know
what's inside.
There are tons
of spelling errors in it.
I almost want to
mark up a copy for them.
But that would take away the
only real enjoyment you get
from reading it,
because I guess it's
actually not much fun
to be there.
And I'm starting to wonder whether
it's really going to change me.
"We always come back
to Dog's true design."
Almighty Dog.
Welcome to God
Versus Science...
Thank you.
Where are you from, Xavier?
I was born in Vienna.
I ended up in Canada,
and now I'm here.
Do you believe in God?
I do, yeah.
Wow.
I question it, but I still
believe in God, yeah.
Who created the Earth?
You like a little
small talk, huh?
Do you believe
in the Devil?
Did he look like me?
I don't know.
Do you know Job
from the Bible?
Not personally.
I hear he's not great company.
Always complaining.
I imagine
I'm him sometimes.
And that God and the Devil
are having a bet over me.
That one day
God will let me in
on the experiment
he was having to test me.
I think we're our own God.
I mean, I think he's in us.
In all of us, not,
you know, somewhere
hiding and watching.
Stay with me.
Nothing needs to happen.
I swear.
I'll prove to you
that God won't strike you down.
You wronged me, Dad...
- And I hate the way...
- Louder, Cameron.
Can't hear you. Come on.
I'll bring him closer, there he is.
You wronged me, Dad, and I hate you
for the way that you treated me
since you found out
about my problems.
No, about your sin.
Say that.
"About my sins." Go!
"About my sins,"
come on, Cameron.
"My homosexual sins."
Come on, Cameron.
- Cameron!
- I can go.
I don't... I don't mind...
No, no, no. Jared, everybody
gets a turn. This is Cameron's turn.
- "About my sins!" Come on!
- Found out about my sins.
I hate that you never listen to me
or acknowledge me.
And when you do
acknowledge me,
it's to make fun of me
in front of my friends.
"It's to make fun of me."
To make fun of me
in front of my friends.
And that time that you told me that
you wished I'd never been born.
That really hurt me.
Cameron...
Now, you say
that you're angry,
but quite frankly,
I don't really see it.
Well, what's going on
in there, Cameron, huh?
Do you want to change?
Now you're going to wish
you hadn't been born, son,
because God will not love you
the way that you are right now.
Unless you really
want to change.
Well? Come on!
Well, I guess not.
I guess not. Okay.
Let's take a break.
And you are going to stay here
until you are ready to go.
Everybody but Cameron,
take a break.
I don't care
if you sit there all day, son.
- Is this all a game to you?
- What do you mean?
Listen, man.
You gotta think about
why you went there.
You're trying to bail him out?
Seriously?
And touching him like that?
Do you think no one saw?
You saw him.
He was very upset.
I didn't mean anything by it.
I should report you.
True ownership, man. Okay.
This is what
moral inventory is all about.
And you gotta quit
staring at me all the time.
These are the urges
that we gotta stamp out.
Okay, you gotta control this.
- Do you even want this to work?
- Of course I do.
We're all trying
to make this work.
I'm having a tough time, too,
just like you are.
Listen, I'm fine.
It doesn't seem like it.
Hey, what are you
doing in here alone?
You're meant to attend bathroom
breaks with a staff member.
What? Now you don't
have to pee?
Or are you going to do
something solo?
That's why
they make them rules.
Not to be trusted.
Not at this stage
of the game.
Hmm.
Sounds like Morse code.
Sending me a message,
faggot?
Starting to see it
for what it is?
You okay?
I'm fine. I'm fine.
I'm going to give you
some advice.
Play the part.
Show them it's working.
You're getting better.
Fake it until you make it,
right?
You don't want to end up in one of
those houses for any length of time.
I've heard the stories
and they're not good.
And that's where you're
likely gonna end up.
Sarah's already there.
So, play the part, man.
And then, once you're home,
you gotta figure out what to do next.
If it comes down to it,
you may have to walk away from everything.
Everyone.
Thank you for today, Michael.
- See you tomorrow.
- Mmm-hmm.
You're gonna be on the podium any day now,
so you should have a plan.
Unless you really think
you can change.
Or even want to.
I don't want to be
here anymore.
It's a trial. It...
I don't feel good here.
Nobody feels good
about you being there, Jared.
I don't... I don't...
I'm not sure if I feel any different.
Son, son, you're not even
halfway through.
Why didn't you tell me
how long I might stay for?
None of us knows
the answer to that, Jared.
It's kind of up to you.
You know, you just gotta give it a chance.
This is like
the book of Matthew.
The Devil's not
going to ask you once,
he's going to ask you
over and over again, son.
And you have just gotta find the
strength and commitment inside you.
You can get through this,
okay?
Okay?
- All right.
- It's late. Get some sleep.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Jared? You're gonna be late.
I had thoughts of men.
Boys at school.
At college, I...
My imagination.
- Hey, what's going on?
- I have no idea.
- Michael, what's going on?
- Just grab a tie.
Sadly, we are
gathered here today to say farewell
to our son, our friend,
and our brother,
Cameron Van Heusen,
who by his own making last night,
fell prey to Satan's wishes.
Brother Van Heusen, is this
what you want for your son?
No.
Young man, is this you?
Brother Cameron,
is this what you want?
- No.
- Both of you, come on.
Bring him down here.
- Let's go.
- Who's gonna strike this demon down?
I will.
Out, you demon! Hit it!
- Get out of him!
- That's it.
- Out!
- Leave, demon! Leave!
Sarah, come on!
Stay with me.
I'll prove to you that God
won't strike you down.
All right,
take your seat.
Welcome back, son.
Now, I don't know about you all,
but today, ooh, I feel invigorated.
And I feel hopeful
and a true sense that
anything is possible today
in this room.
Cameron, how do you feel, son?
I feel great, sir.
Do you feel the true presence
of God in your heart?
Yes, sir.
And that feels great,
doesn't it?
Yes, sir, it does.
For sure.
I'm happy for you, son.
Moral inventory.
Jared, you're up, son.
Come on.
Come on, son.
All right. Michael.
And when you're ready.
"I had thoughts of men.
"Boys at school.
"On TV. On the street.
In my imagination.
"At college I held the hand of a boy and
I stayed through the night in his bed.
"For these thoughts and this
action for which I felt regretful,
- "I'd like to ask for God's..."
- Wait. Hold on.
Jared.
Come on. What else?
I never...
I stayed through the night
with a boy from college,
but we never did
anything more.
Listen, don't even try
lying to God, Jared.
He already sees.
So, come on. What else?
I lied on my genogram.
My Uncle Chris wasn't an alcoholic.
Why don't you tell us
about this Henry boy?
That your daddy
told me about.
That's not...
That's not fair.
Why not?
That's not my sin.
Do you want to waste
these people's time?
I'm not.
No, these people who got up
here honestly and were brave...
Well, I could make something up,
I could make something up.
Is that what you...
Is that what you want me to do?
Isn't that a sin, too?
I mean, if thoughts are a sin,
I ask God's forgiveness for that,
but I'm not making
anything up.
Okay, then. Okay.
Lie chair.
I just want to make use
of some of this anger.
Uh, wait. Guys, just sit.
Just stay where you are, okay?
Here he is, Jared.
Your father is sitting here
and I want you to tell him
how affected you are by him.
And how angry you are.
Tell him how you hate him for the
things that he's... The way...
- You can sit down. Sit down.
- But I'm not angry.
- Yeah, I know.
- And he's done things
- that upset me, but...
- But you are.
- You're angry, but you don't...
- He's let me down...
Why do I
have to be angry?
Just sit.
- Sit down.
- I'm not a dog.
- I know.
- And I don't think anyone is responsible
for me, so I don't see how it's gonna
help picking someone to blame or hate.
If you don't hate anyone, Jared,
then where is all this anger coming from?
Because you're
making me angry.
There you go!
I want you to use that!
I'm not gonna pretend I hate my father.
I don't hate my father.
Jared, you do.
You don't know me!
You're all crazy!
- All of you!
- Hey! I didn't...
Just... Jared.
You're in my chair.
- There you go! I hate you!
- Jared!
But how
does that help?
Jared!
Jared!
Who's in the front office?
Jared! Son, let's talk. Son.
Hey! Michael!
Hey, hey!
Give it to me!
- I want my things and I want to go.
- Jared.
Michael! Hey!
Hey! Michael!
Get out of the room!
Come here, son.
Jared!
Hey, listen. What you're having
is a natural response, okay.
Just... Just breathe.
- Jared!
- Hey, I just need a minute.
- Just go away.
- Take a minute, okay.
Please pick up, Mom.
- Jared?
- Mom...
- Jared?
- I need you to come get me, please.
What's the matter?
What's the matter?
- Please, I'm in trouble.
- What...
What's happened?
Best thing that we can do is probably
ease him back into the session.
- Hey, son.
- I called my mom
and she's coming to get me.
Listen, you gotta understand
what you're going through
right now is just a moment.
- A moment? A moment?
- Okay.
And I feel exactly
what you're going through.
I think that you and I should just
get everybody gone and we just talk.
I don't want to talk.
I want to go.
Well, Jared,
I don't want you to.
I want you to stay.
Well,
I read the rules
and none of them say
you can stop me from leaving.
I wouldn't.
Can you just check where Brandon is, please?
And if you or anyone puts their hands on me,
I have witnesses.
Nobody's going to
put their hands on you.
Why would anybody do that?
Come sit.
We're gonna wait
for your mom, okay?
Jesus, our Savior,
please focus on Jared.
Let him see the strength
and courage that he needs.
I want you to fill him right now with
all the wisdom of everybody in this room
to show him how much they love him
and how much they care about him.
- Be strong!
- His journey
into the fire that he's walking into
and what he's willing to face.
- You are a man.
- May you open his eyes
and see the wisdom
that you have...
- Jared!
- Mom!
- Jared, honey, what's happened?
- Mom!
- Hey, hey! Sit back down!
- Mom, they're not letting me go!
It's not that
we're not letting him go.
- Come on. Open this door.
- Just hold on, Jared.
- Mrs. Eamons, my name is Victor Sykes.
- Who are you?
We spoke on the telephone.
I don't remember that.
Open the door.
Well, I spoke with your
husband a couple times.
Jared's just having a moment here borne
out of the role-playing exercise.
No, no! That's not true.
Mom, tell him to open the door.
- Slow down.
- Enough. Open the door now, Mr. Sykes.
- Can we just all...
- I said open the door now!
I'm gonna call the police
if you don't open this door.
- There is no need for that.
- Slow down. Right now.
Let him go!
You all right, honey?
Just let him go.
I just...
I think that...
Jared, come on.
I just... I think it's more
important for his
development right now
that he...
Don't even listen to him.
Get in the car. Get in the car.
You're gonna
ruin that child.
What are your actual
qualifications, Mr. Sykes?
I never asked. Hmm?
Are you a doctor? Are you?
Psychologist?
I mean, a proper one?
Are you?
No.
I didn't think so.
Shame on you!
Shame on me, too.
Shame on you!
Can I help you?
Uh, I'm not sure
if I'm staying or going.
All right.
Well, let me know.
I talked to your father.
He wants you to go back.
I told him we'll see him at home.
I told him you're not going back.
You know that night
when Pastor Wilkes and Jim
came to the house?
Those men decided what
to do with you and I just...
I fell into line,
like I usually do.
They say sometimes you gotta hurt
a child in order to help them
and that may be so
with some things,
but a mother knows
when something isn't right.
And I knew in my bones
this wasn't hurting to help.
I was just letting you down
and I kept my mouth shut.
And I will always regret that.
But I can do
a different thing now.
Now that I have a chance.
I'll handle your father.
He can fall into line with me
for a change.
Some folk, they don't go to
church for the right reasons.
Now, you know the type of
person I'm talking about.
They just turn up.
They don't use every day
of their Christian life
to praise the Lord and help
bring others to His word.
It might be your neighbor,
might be your friend,
it might be just a face
you only ever see at church.
They just turn up.
I will tell something
that I know.
Just turning up to church
does not make you a Christian.
Yes, sir. Amen.
Study the Bible.
Study His word.
I can guarantee you,
every question you have,
you gonna find an answer
in this book.
Amen.
Honey, um, do you know a boy, Cameron Van Heusen?
Yeah. Is he here?
No. No, no.
That's the police.
Apparently, this boy Cameron
killed himself last night.
They want to ask you
some questions.
- Hey! How you doing?
- Good.
Nice to see you! I'm good.
I'm good. Here.
Yeah, I think
they're in the dishwasher.
Come on, Chris.
Join us.
Get out of the kitchen.
I didn't even feel it.
Mom...
I gave it to him,
he has it, and he'll read it.
He knows he has to.
Mom, it's important he reads it,
can you just put him on?
I'm calling you from Little Rock,
I'm with Aunt Mary, so...
Wait. Why?
You should just
call him at home.
What happened?
Nothing, she just needed some help
with the shop, so I came down here,
and I'm driving back tonight,
I'm...
I mean, nothing.
Nothing is wrong.
Seriously, nothing is wrong.
Why didn't you tell me
you were coming?
Is he here?
He left.
It is Sunday, if it's urgent,
you're gonna have to go to church.
Why aren't you there?
Why aren't you at church?
I go, sometimes.
I support your dad and...
Mom, what's going on
with you two?
Jared, it's...
He knows.
I can't be around the...
I love God, God loves me.
And I love my son.
That simple.
For your father,
it's a little more complicated.
I wish it wasn't,
but it is.
Did you hear about the article
I've got coming out in the Times?
Do you know
what it's about?
I won't get into a fight.
Your mother told me, son.
It's not a fight.
I'm just doing the right thing.
I'm letting you know.
I've written more,
and the publishers are talking about
me putting together a whole book.
You don't need to read
any of it.
I just needed you to know
that it might be out there.
Well,
now I know.
But it might be good
for you to read.
Because you never really asked
what went on there.
You never really knew
the staff or...
- You're right.
- Or...
You're right.
When the situation came up,
I did what I've often done in my life.
I sought the counsel
of wiser men
and I followed their advice.
What would you do now?
Now that you are
running things?
Enough.
Good night.
For me.
Is there something
you need help with?
Because you know
I gotta make my flight.
Yeah, now, this was
going to be for Christmas.
But, uh, you know,
your mother tells me
you like to drive upstate
sometimes to write.
Dad, I live in New York.
I don't need a car.
She also tells me
you like to write by hand
before you use
your computer.
Just like me.
This pen is made from a
cedar tree grown in Israel.
Guided me.
I've written every sermon
that I have ever delivered
in this new church
with this pen.
One writer to another.
I don't want to
pretend anymore.
We don't need to
spend time together.
We don't need to speak
unless we're going to
talk to each other properly.
Like...
You've done some
things that have really hurt me.
Like you never asked if there
was more to my story at college.
You never asked
if I was okay.
You were too focused
on how it affected you.
There's so many things
that we've never spoken about.
And I don't know
if we ever will.
Yeah.
You know, all this was
going to be yours.
I mean, it still will be,
but I meant to run and to make a living from.
I understand.
We all got our own paths.
The truth is
I want you to do well.
I want you
to have a great life.
I love you.
But I can't pretend either.
There are things
I disagree with.
And I'll admit, I'll be honest,
I'm, you know...
I am being prideful when I resent the
fact that I may never be a grandparent.
Now, that's just the truth.
It's hard for me to admit
that I have hurt you.
And that with my beliefs
and with all that's gone on,
I understand I may have
set myself up to lose you.
And I've had to ask myself
and God if I'm ready for that.
I do not want to lose you.
Well, it doesn't feel
like that.
I'm sick of avoiding you.
I'm sick of talking about nothing.
I'm sick of it.
I'm gay and I'm your son.
And neither of those things
are going to change.
Okay, so let's deal with that.
Or let's call it a day.
Both of us would be okay,
but that would be a shame.
I'm not changing.
There's no changing me.
God knows I tried.
So, if you mean it,
if you really mean that,
and you're not ready
to lose me,
then I'm sorry, but you're going
to have to be the one to change.
I understand.
I am going to try.
I'll try.
I gotta get going.
Dad,
I've invited Mom to my place
for Christmas.
Yeah.
You're welcome to come, too.