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Brad's Status (2017)
The night before we left,
I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about Chris Kanew, and how he quit, and all the things he said. Brad, I loved working with you so much, and I learned a lot from you, but this job has made me... kind of depressed. I thought about how I'd taught this kid everything I knew, and how he was my only employee, and... how pathetic it all was. Then my mind drifted to the dinner party. And the Architectural Digest. She has a teenage daughter. They call that... - Oh, is that it? Okay. - Yeah. We were talking about cheese. You got to try this. This is, like, an imitation Comt. - Really? - But instead of organic... Isn't that your friend from college? Brad has this friend from college... I knew Nick had become rich and successful, but... I felt gut-punched. I felt like the world was rubbing my nose in something. So many friends from college have become successful. Nick Pascale was a big movie director in Hollywood, living this crazy, decadent life. Jason Hatfield had his own hedge fund. Obscenely rich. Owns three houses. Big philanthropist. Billy Wearslter sold his tech company at 40. He's already retired, living a life of leisure in Maui. Craig Fisher worked for the White House. He's written all these best-sellers. Always on TV. It's stupid to compare lives. But when I do, I feel somehow I failed. And over time, these feelings get worse. Brad. Shit. Oh, my. Sorry. You okay? What the hell? You just... you just hit me in the face. Oh, sorry. It's okay. Can't sleep. Mm. How much do you think your parents' house is worth? My parents' house? I don't know. Like, uh, two million? Two and a half? I don't know. You never thought about it? What does it matter? Well, aren't you getting the house when they die? When they die? I think they're considering leaving it all to the grandkids. What do you mean? Like, splitting everything between the grandkids. What? Steve has three kids. He's already rich. We only have one. How's that fair? It's not up to me. They also talked about just giving it all to charity, so, who knows? Seriously? That's absurd. Seriously, that's mean. You work for a nonprofit, and you think that's absurd? Right, I work for a nonprofit. You work for the government. We need the money. Look, I'm gonna be so distraught when my parents die, I'm not gonna give a fuck about the money. Really? Not at all? Think you will. What about your dad? You have money coming to you. Oh, he's an academic. I mean... two hundred thousand, maybe. Well, that'll help pay for Troy's college. Is that why you're worrying about money? We'll be fine. We'll figure it out. We didn't work this hard to end up dying in a flophouse, you know? All right, you're freaking me out. I just feel like we're running out of time. It's like there's no more potential. This is it. We've plateaued. It's not like there's gonna be some... windfall that, you know, suddenly changes our situation. I mean... We're not poor, Brad. I kn... In some circles, yeah. Oh, what circles? The one percent? We have a great life. Go to sleep. Do you think you should talk to your parents? Then we'll get some clarity. You and I are done. I love you. Please shut up. Troy? Troy, are you up? Oh, yes. Hello. What is your name? I know your name. You have ten minutes. Uh, yeah, I'm ready. I just got to put on my clothes. Can you give me a second? Yeah. You have, like, the body of a man now. Hey, Dad, can you not be weird? 'Cause I'm stressed. Okay. Can you close my door? Yeah. Can you close the door? Yeah. Yeah, it looks good. Did you bring a jacket? - Yeah. - Okay. It's gonna get cold. - Yeah. - Oh, I think you guys are gonna like this. Yeah, I think it'll be good, I guess. On the ride to the airport, I kept thinking about what Chris Kanew said. So, wait a minute, you're going into banking? Look, Brad, I honestly think I can do so much more good by making a lot of money and then giving it away, instead of spending all my time asking other people for their money to give away. You know what I mean? You have all the hotel information, right? Yeah, Mom. It's on my phone. Would you forward it to your dad? I don't think he has any sense of the schedule. Do you, Brad? I don't think he has any idea, so, it's really on you, honey. Okay. There are moments you realize your entire life's work is absurd and you have nothing to show for it. ...- the deputies of Kim Jong-il. - Yeah. Or maybe it was Kim Jong-un. Was it Kim Jong-un or Kim Jong-il? - Was it the father? - It was Il. That's the father. Some guys have empires. What do I have? I live in Sacramento, a secondary market surrounded by mediocrities and beta males. ...this piece on NPR. It was an interview. It was Terry Gross with All Things Considered. But the guy... you were telling about the guy in the prison before, - the vegetarian guy, right? - Oh, yeah. In this... It's a private prison in Georgia. And they have meat in every dish. This guy just said, "I'm gonna stop eating meat." So, they got him tied down. They're force-feeding him through a tube. And he just keeps saying, "Vegetables. Vegetarian. Fruit." This is not where I thought I'd be. It's not the life I imagined. Oh, honey, this is gonna be so cool. This is great. Mom, I think I'm just gonna take Old River Road, connect to the freeway. For your safety and security... This good? Yeah. Call me all the time. I want to know everything. This is so exciting. - Yeah, thanks, Mom. - I love you. All right. Should be good. I can't believe this. This is crazy. I know. It just feels like a big moment. I'm so jealous. I can't believe I have to go to this stupid conference. Okay, flight info's all on your phone, and the hotels, it's all on there, okay? Great, okay. - All right, be happy. Be present. - Love you. All right. I love you. - Love you, honey. - Okay. Oh, take lots of pictures! Love you! Love you! Attention, all departing passengers... Economy entrance is that line. But, uh, I have a, uh, Silver Flyer card. It's Gold and Platinum only. Next, please. Enjoy your flight. You know what I'm thinking? Hmm? Let's try for an upgrade. What do you mean? Going off to find your college. And I don't know when you and I are gonna take a trip like this again. Let's fly business, okay? Really? Yeah. Okay. Cool. I, uh, I never flown business. Let's make this fucking special, okay? Okay. All right. Oh! Good news. There are two seats available in business. Oh! Can I see your tickets, please? Awesome. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. I was hoping to put it on my miles. I got a bunch of miles, I think. Unfortunately, no, not with this flight, you can't. So... cost to upgrade to business would be $821 per ticket. Mm. So, the total would be $1,642. Sixteen hundred dollars? That's... for a domestic flight? Yes, $1,642. Would you like to go ahead and purchase the tickets? I... I'm gonna go for it. Go for it. I can put it on my Amex. Actually... Sorry, no. Put it on my MasterCard. Thanks. Gonna put it on the Amex. Just... Okay. Sorry. Great. Let me just run that. Yeah, it's a... once-in-a-lifetime thing. Mm-hmm. Mr. Sloan, actually... Yeah? ...unfortunately, we can't upgrade you. I'm sorry. What? Why not? Seems as though you bought those tickets on a discounted website, and with that type of ticket, we can't do the upgrade. Okay. But... not even if I pay you $1,600? There's actually no amount of money you can pay to get an upgrade. I'm so sorry. Anything else? Um... no. It's not a big deal, anyway. Okay. And what if I'm a Silver Flyer member? I'm sorry. Next? Okay. Right on the beach. Really? - Champagne? - That sounds like... - Oh! - There you are. Thanks. Thank you. Yes. Enjoy your flight. Sorry I couldn't get us the upgrade. It's not a big deal. Silver Flyer card. Means nothing. Gets you nothing at all. Well, then get rid of it. Yeah, I'm gonna. I'm tossing it. Should I? I should, right? Mm-hmm. Stupid... I'll keep it for now. I couldn't help but wonder: When was the last time Craig Fisher flew economy? Probably not in decades. Mr. Fisher? Can I offer you a warm towel? A warm towel. Yes, thank you. What are you two doing? And now Jason Hatfield has his own private plane. Never has to fly commercial at all. Nick Pascale probably flies private, too. Thank you so much. Must be nice to always have the seas part for you. Nothing's out of reach. Can I have this one? - Okay. - Yeah? Oh. Everything an option. Must be like a drug. Always feeling important and special. Better than. And all the adventures. The exotic destinations. Au revoir! For them, the world isn't a battlefield. It's a playground. A dream. It's heaven, manifested. Dad, can I get some Pringles? They're seven dollars. - Yeah. - I need your credit card. There are 45 minutes left on the flight. Keep your seat belt fastened. Enjoy the rest of the flight. Eventually, my mind drifted back to college. Back then, I was in love with the world and the world was in love with me. When did we fall out of love with each other? Where did it all go wrong? My thoughts turned to Melanie. It's unbelievable. It's fucked up. They've got kids... little elementary school kids... doing these mass-shooting drills in their schools, because everybody has to have a gun, because that's the answer... I love Melanie's idealism, but maybe that idealism prevented me from ever selling out. Jason Hatfield married a woman who had money of her own. She introduced him to rich clients, gave him entre and status. Diane Fisher's famous in her own right. She and Craig competed with each other, pushing each other to succeed. Here. Oh. But Melanie... she's so easily satisfied. It's good. Seriously? Yeah! Honestly? Yeah, I always love your sauces. Maybe her contentment undermined my ambition. Okay. Hey. Hi, honey. Hey, you in Boston? Yep. We made it. Yeah, we're on our way to the hotel. Oh, good. How's Troy doing? He's good. Good. Yeah. He's, uh, drinking in Boston. I know exactly what the... I can't blame Melanie for my decisions, or anyone else. It's my fault. Dad. You want to get some food? All I've eaten today is the can of Pringles. Yeah. Let's do it. I'm hungry, too. Yeah. Let's get some food. And then, uh, Thursday, rent a car and drive to Amherst and then Williams. You know, these are competitive schools, Troy. Just... just try not to put too much pressure on yourself. You know what I mean? Don't get caught up in the game, all the brands. You know, "Williams," "Harvard," all of it. Just... It all works out. In the end, you end up at the right place. Mm, yeah, I'm not really worried. Okay. You know, when I was your age, I was so freaked out about college. I wanted to go to Yale. Was just obsessed, right? I mean, why Yale? I didn't know why. And then, uh, I got waitlisted, and then I didn't get in. Right? Guess what? It all worked out. I loved Tufts. Tufts was a fantastic school. I made great friends. I met that professor, Bob Connor, took me under his wing and just, you know, kind of blew my mind and changed my life. Made me want to save the world. So... Anyway, my point is, fuck Yale, okay? And you don't get into Tufts, fuck Tufts. My, uh, counselor thinks that I'll get into Yale. She does? He does, yeah. He does. Why does he think that? Uh, I mean, I guess my grades and scores and my compositions, 'cause I guess a lot of these schools are looking to fill orchestral spots. And, uh, he's pretty confident I'll get into pretty much everywhere I apply. You look stunned. He thinks you're gonna get into Yale? Yes. Really? That's amazing. I mean, I knew you had good grades and I... you know, I always thought you were a genius, but I just... That's so awesome, Troy. But we're not, um, visiting Yale. Uh, yeah, I don't really want to go to Yale. Why not? Um... well, I'm hoping that I get into Harvard, 'cause there's this, uh, there's this music professor there, this guy, Jerome Backaly, and he's doing, like, a lot of really cool stuff and... Yeah, it's just a really cool program. My, uh, friend from school, she says that there's a concert Wednesday night that she's playing, and he might be there, so... S... You're going to Harvard. Well, maybe. You know, I don't know. Does your mother know about this? Well, she knows I want to. I... I can't believe... I didn't know about this. What do you mean? You knew that we were coming here. I knew we were checking out the school, but I didn't know you were actually gonna get in. Well, I might not get in. But it seems like you might. Well, yeah, I might. My kid's going to Harvard. Don't fucking jinx me, dude. You all right? Yeah. Life's crazy, huh? I mean... how cool. I'm proud of you. Sometimes in life, you can lose the plot. You want to play something, buddy? I suddenly remembered what I'd been doing for the last 17 years. Planting and nurturing for this amazing creature. How could I have regrets? If I had stayed in New York and married a striver like Diane Fisher... No, that is bullshit... ...Troy could've turned out entitled and pretentious. - Dad, don't be so cisgender. - Come on. - Yeah, Dad, don't be so cis. - You've got to look at what... If I'd pursued money and power, he might've become a spoiled little monster. Save one for me! Yeah! Toblerone? Oh. Thanks. Thank God for Sacramento. What? Oh! Checking your phone? Are you ticklish? Tickle Man? - Do you remember Tickle Man? - No. - You used to love this. Tickle, tickle. - No. - Come on. - Please stop. Oh, yeah, I got... Oh! Whoa! Oh, my God! Okay, stop. Troy, Troy, seriously, stop. Okay. Whoa! Troy! That night, I imagine Troy getting into Harvard, and the satisfactions it would bring. Hey! Hey, guys! Hey! I got in! I got in! Oh! Harvard! Hey! All right, buddy! Harvard! Not a bad place to go to school. No. Wow. This is where you go. Let's go. Let's go. You have a son or a daughter? A son, yes. He's interviewing. Mine, too. Yeah, my son is a, uh, very talented musician. Keyboards. Pianist. Yeah. Also composes his own music, so... Wonderful. Looks like he's gonna have a lot of decisions to make. Mm. But I'm pretty sure Harvard is, uh, gonna be in the running. Oh, you think Harvard's got a chance? Uh, what does your son do? What does he do? He's a student in high school. Right. Okay. Hey. What's going on? Is it over? Uh... no, I got the day wrong. What? I got the... I got the day wrong. It's yesterday. Yesterday? What do you mean? Yeah, I mean, I don't know, I fucked it up. It was yesterday. Well, did they... did they give you a time to come back? Um... no, I mean, I think they're really booked up. But they said, like, I can just do an alumni interview back in Sacramento. No. No. No, you want to do it with one of these guys. I mean, these are the guys that decide. Right? Dad, I'm just gonna go on the tour. It's not... this isn't a big deal. It's a big deal. I'm gonna talk to them. - What? You don't need to talk to them. - Yes, I do. Listen, we didn't come all this way for you to interview in Sacramento. Excuse me. Sir? Hi. Oh, I'd love to be able to accommodate you guys, but our schedule's been set for months now. I want you to get a sense of my son. Harvard is his first choice... Hey, Dad, it's okay. He's a pianist. He does community service. His counselor says he's Harvard material. It's not necessary to interview here. Alumni interviews are just as effective. Well, I... Okay. I mean... I mean, I know how important face time is. You know, we're here. Come on. Don't shine us on. I mean... Dad. No. Can't you just sit with us for ten minutes? I mean, he's right here. What are you guys doing right now? I have a staff meeting, sir. Dad, please, please, please, please stop. - Please stop. - Okay. I'll stop, okay. Okay. All right. Thank you. Thank you. Come on, let's go. Dad, what the fuck? You think arguing with the admissions officer is gonna help my chances? He won't remember this. I think he will. You know, I don't understand. How can someone who has the brains to get into Harvard not have the brain to remember what day he made an appointment so he can get into Harvard? I'm sorry. Can we please talk and, like, walk somewhere else, please, 'cause they're about to start a tour. So what? So, I don't want everybody seeing me getting bitched-out by my dad, okay? I'm not bitching you out. I'm trying to solve a problem here. I know you think you got this in the bag, but this is Harvard, Troy. Even geniuses get rejected. Oh, my God. You realize you're competing with kids from Hong Kong and everywhere, okay? You're a white kid from the suburbs without a sob story, and you're not even a legacy. We're the underdogs here. We need to do everything we can. Dad, I'm about to flip the fuck out. Please shut up. Okay, let me think. Just... Okay, why don't you go on the tour, and I'm... I'm gonna, um... What are you gonna do? I'm gonna make some calls. Just don't do anything uncool. Hey. Hey. So, Troy messed up, and we're at Harvard, and he doesn't have an interview. He got the day wrong. Do we know anybody at Harvard? I really want to get him an interview. I mean, I just want them to meet him. Oh, who's at Harvard? Like, um, like, uh, like, like... Yeah, yeah, like, um... - Like... - Like a dean. Babe, Harvard is Troy's first choice. Did you know that? - Yeah, yeah. - And his counselor thinks he can get in. Did you know that? - Yeah. - Who do we know at Harvard? Uh, I don't know. I mean, I got to think. Like, um... Toni Morrison. Toni Morrison? You know Toni Morrison? - No. - No, no, she teaches at Princeton. Melanie, what the fuck are you talking about, Toni Morrison? I don't know. Who would I know at Harvard? - Um... - Uh, just, you know people in government. Someone must have gone to Harvard. I mean, think. - It's Troy's future. - Okay. Um... Oh! Craig Fisher teaches a class there. Doesn't he? Uh, what? No. Does he? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I read that somewhere. He's, uh, a visiting lecturer or something. He drives up from DC. Uh, no. He lives in New York now. Okay, well, he drives up from New York, then. I mean, I'm pretty sure he lectures there, teaches a class, something. Oh, fuck. What? No, I think you're right, now that you mention it. Shit. What's wrong? I just... I don't want to call him. Why not? Damn it. What's the big deal? All right, all right. I'll call you later, okay? Okay. Can I talk to Troy? Working up the courage to call Craig, I remembered the first time I'd seen him on TV. I'd like to welcome Craig Fisher to the conversation. He is a former White House press secretary who now works at the Heller Institute. He's also the bestselling author of Political Animals. Craig, who's responsible for this congressional... It was like a ghost I'd conjured to haunt me. ...castrates the forefathers. Um, but we have a system, for better or for worse, in this country of checks and balances, to make sure that there is no one demagogue... It wasn'tjust a fleeting jealousy. It was real pain. Why is it so painful? What was wrong with me? I thought about the last time I saw him. ...exciting about this is it's an opportunity... We'd both been in New York for different reasons and decided to meet up. I'd just started my nonprofit and was full of enthusiasm. ...and so what we would do is kind of be a clearing house for that, and kind of a... like a matchmaking service, social media matchmaking organization that would find the organizations that need the money, find the people who want to give money, bring them together and... I was hoping Craig might want to get involved in some way, offer up his famous friends. Even donate money. But he never took the bait. Back in Sacramento, I decided to be more direct. I sent him an e-mail asking him to come onto my board of directors. I wrote about the worthiness of the cause and my deep respect for Craig and how much it would mean to me personally. Mrs. Cohen said we have to bring all the science stuff to school by Friday. Oh. So, we got to figure that out. But I never heard back. Well, I do like whales a lot, so, we could study the anatomy... You know, they say politics is show business for ugly people. Any whiff of show business, I think people really respond... In fact, I never heard from Craig again. Aw, fuck it. Your call cannot be completed as dialed. Brad? Hey! Yo, Billy. How you doing, man? What's up? How's life? Oh, life is good, man. It's fucking excellent. You're, like, retired. Amazing. I know. You're, like, uh, living the dream. Yeah, pretty much. Although I'm not really retired. I put some money into this little beach bar here, and it just blew up. And now we're franchising across Hawaii, we're coming to the mainland. So, that's keeping me pretty busy. Wow, that sounds great. And I've got these two... beautiful wahine who live with me, and they're fucking gorgeous and they're fucking cool. And they make these amazing necklaces out of shells and shit, and I'm helping them open a store. We surf, then we fuck... then we surf. It's awesome. No, come... wait, so you're serious? You're living... you have two girlfriends that you live with? Yeah, well, it's pretty fluid, you know. Anyway, what's up with you? Uh... uh, I'm, uh, I'm great. I'm here in Boston with my son, Troy, and we're visiting colleges. - Yeah? - Yeah. He's, uh... probably gonna go to Harvard. Yeah? Sweet. Yeah, he's, uh, he's a pretty smart kid. He's the real deal. - Oh, awesome. - Uh... anyway, hey, do you happen to have Craig's number? I wanted to ask him something, but I think that he changed it. Oh, yeah, I'll text it to you. I just saw him in LA at Nick's wedding. Nick got married? To who? To Xavier. Who is actually very cool. it was a beautiful ceremony. Uh-huh. Yeah, no, I didn't know about it. Oh. Well, it was real small. Somebody asked about you. I forget who. Mm-hmm. They were, like, asking about, you know, where you were, or whatever happened to you, or... I don't know. Who was it? Who was it? Someone... someone saying, "Where's Brad? I remember that guy Brad." Oh, well, I'm just, uh, just been doing my thing. Dude, it's good to hear your voice. My dog took a shit, though, so I got to pick it up. Okay. Well, I'll, um... I'll talk to you soon, man. It's really good to talk to you, also. And, uh, yeah, if you could, uh, text me that number. Yeah, yeah, I'll send it right away. Come to the islands sometime, brother. Later. Yeah. Okay. For a moment, I imagined Billy's life in Maui, with two young girlfriends, and the great sex he must be having. Then I thought about Melanie and what was left of our sex life. Please leave a message for... Craig Fisher. ...at the beep. Uh, hey, Craig. It's, uh, Brad Sloan. How you doing, man? Uh, I'm in Boston, and, uh, my son... Um, if you, uh, if you could... if you have time, could you give me a call? Um, it's kind of on the urgent side. So, uh... thanks, man. Not being invited to Nick's wedding confirmed a creeping fear. Not only had I not lived up to my own expectations, I'd failed in the eyes of others. I pictured the wedding party. Everyone there, basking in each other's glow. It wasn't friendship that bonded them, but a perceived level of success. Whether I was forgotten or excluded... made no difference. I was off the list. A nobody. A nothing. The world hated me, and the feeling was mutual. Are you okay? 'Cause you seem a little off. Hm. No. It's just, um... stupid. What? Uh, some, uh, I don't know, some old friends... got together and didn't invite me. Mm. And so, you know, 'cause... I guess 'cause I'm not... um... you know, whatever. Just, it's random. What? You're kind of mumbling. No, it's... no, it's something I wouldn't have even wanted to go to even if I was invited, so... Oh. Just, I don't know, kind of lame. I'm sorry. Mm. No. It's ridiculous. They sound like dicks. Hmm. Yeah. Hello? Hey. It's Craig Fisher. Hey! Craig. What's going on? Is everything okay? Did someone die? What? No. No, nobody died. Well, you sounded kind of weird on your... on your message, and you said it was urgent, so I... No, no, no, no. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... No. It's just, I'm up here at Cambridge with, uh, my son, and we're looking at Harvard, and he had an interview, or was supposed to, at the admissions office, and someone... messed up over there, so, um... Uh, you know what? Uh, hang on a second. I'm in a restaurant. Hey. Yeah. So, anyway, I heard that you, uh, teach a class there. You know what, actually, I... I'm flying up there tomorrow. You guys still gonna be around? Yeah. We're here, uh... we're here tomorrow. We're here till Thursday. We leave Thursday. Why don't we get some dinner. That would be great. Yeah. Oh, and, um... one last thing. Troy is a musician. I mean, like, a true prodigy. And, uh, there's this music professor... And I'm not just saying that 'cause he's my kid, but... Hey, Troy. Troy. What's the name of the professor? What? What's the name of... Hang on. What's the name of the music professor you like? Um, Jerome Backaly. Jerome Backaly. - Jerome Backaly. - Yeah. Sure, I'll give him a call. That would be terrific, Craig. That... man, I owe you. No problem. So, dinner tomorrow. Yeah, that'll be great. I'll pick a place. Have a great taping. Thanks, man. Bye. What's going on? Dad... I'm on it, okay? I'm on it. Mm-hmm. - Hey, Craig. - Hey. Guess what. I'm in a bookstore, and I'm looking at your book right now. Great. So, I've got some good news. Just got off the phone with the dean of admissions. Seriously? You're in luck. Guess who you have a meeting with tomorrow. Who? Jerome Backaly. What? Yeah. And then after that, you have an interview with the dean of admissions. No way. Way. Are you serious? Totally serious. Wow! Wha... Oh, jee... What? Yeah, man. Oh, sh... Now I'm nervous. No. Come on. Oh... Uh... wait, no, shit. Uh, tomorrow I'm supposed to have Tufts, though. Fuck Tufts. Yeah. Yeah. Ah... we'll go in the afternoon. Dad. Yeah? You're the fucking king, man. Gotcha, pal. What do you think, Troy? I'm going to Harvard. Coming through for Troy made me giddy. Try it. Maybe this was the first in a long series of victories. Oh, my God. I pictured Troy as an adult, happy and wealthy. Even famous. I'm getting all of them. Here you go. That's our son. For you. It's our son. It's our son. I love you both so much. And all my success is because of you. Aw. Oh. Thank you. Thanks, buddy. And guess what. What? I bought an island! What? Yeah! I pictured his triumphs eclipsing those of my contemporaries. And how gratifying that would be. Suddenly, my thoughts darkened. These victories... how desperate to claim them as mine. They would be his. Um... my dad, like, whenever he sees a photo of me on the Internet or in a magazine, for some reason he thinks it's, like, my obituary. And that I've, like, died. It sounds like your dad might be a little bit crazy. Crazy? Uh, yeah, a little. I would say, um... - Like, maybe this? - Maybe, yeah. - A little bit more. - Maybe a little more than that. - Maybe a little bit more than a little. - Yeah, yeah. What if Troy lorded his success over me, or hoarded it away? It sounds like your father might be mentally ill, in need of some help. What if, in the end, Troy's wins made me feel even more the failure? What if I became envious of my own son? The thought horrified me. Lose yourself in nature And find peace Troubles will come Troubles will release Lose yourself In nature and find peace Then again... musicians rarely make money. Even with a Harvard education, Troy could easily end up a struggling artist. Troubles will come Troubles will release Lose yourself in nature and find peace Chickens and children know it all... Or maybe he'll take after Melanie... perfectly satisfied with practically nothing. We may reach great heights But ever will we fall Chickens and children know it all Lose yourself in nature and find peace Lose yourself in nature And find peace Hey, if you're just gonna be a musician, do you even need to go to college? What? It's a fair question. - "Just" a musician? - Yeah. I'm just saying, do you need a Harvard diploma if you're gonna play music in a band? Isn't that what you want to do? I don't know what I want to do, Dad. Okay, well, you better start thinking about it, 'cause, uh, this isn't cheap, Troy, and you're assuming a lot if you think that I can pay for all this without taking out loans, or you taking out loans, or trying to get scholarships or financial aid. What the fuck just happened? I'm thinking out loud, okay? I don't expect you to pay for everything. I mean, are you not gonna be able to pay for everything? We'll see. I don't want you to worry about this yet. Clearly. Hey, it might not be a big issue. Maybe one of your grandparents will die. - Hey. - Hey. How you doing? Good. How are you? This is my dad, Brad. Hey, Dad-Brad. I'm Ananya. Hey. So, you guys were friends at Country Day? We were in orchestra together. - Yeah, Ananya's a really amazing musician. - Really? Uh-huh. And now you go to Harvard. Yeah. I'm a junior. That's... Wow. Are you liking it? Yeah, it's great. I mean, it gets really cold, but I love my classes. Really great people. Yeah, no complaints. Uh, I made a reservation at a restaurant around the corner. So, should we go? Yeah. Cool. Let's do it. Mm. It's good to see faces from home. It's so cool you got that meeting with Jerome Backaly. How'd you manage that? Oh, my dad's friends with a professor here. Oh, yeah? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Who? His name's Craig Fisher. Oh... What? What? You made a face. I did? Yeah, you definitely made a face. It's okay, you can say whatever you want. We're not close or anything. We were friends a long time ago. Well, I took his class last year, and... he's kind of the worst. Should I not have said that? No, say it. What? He's just... he's condescending, and... I don't know, he's pretty sexist. He's got this air of someone who thinks that they know everything just because he's on TV and has got contacts at the White House. But, how do you really feel? Honestly, by the end of his class, I wanted to quit my major, so... Mm. Uh, aren't you a music major? No, government. My, uh, dad majored in government. Oh, yeah? Yeah, communications and government. This was at Tufts. So, what do you do now? I have a nonprofit I started a few years ago. - Really? - Yeah, yeah. We, uh, help other nonprofits use social media to get the word out about what they do. You know, find donors, members. So, is it, like, crowdsourcing or... Um, a little bit of that. Basically, we're a consultant. Sounds boring, but... Cool. No, no, no. It doesn't sound boring. It sounds amazing. Oh. Well, thanks. Yeah. Um, actually, I'm... I'm writing my thesis on NGOs. Maybe I could talk to you at some point? Of course. Whatever you need. Cool. Thank you. So, tell us about your thesis. Really? Yeah. You want to know? Yeah. Okay, well, um, uh, it's not fully formed yet, uh, but I want to write about the history of white missionary women. Like, you know, the wives who went to India and Sri Lanka to, you know, like, "convert the heathens," but, really, they laid down a lot of groundwork for social reform... I remember this. This feeling. This girl, with all her idealism, her sense of purpose, her hope. ...as it relates to women's rights, and how one of the sad legacies of colonialism is that they really had no part... I remember these nights. These conversations. The plans to change the world. A longing to connect. One time, I told him that my dream job was to work at Amnesty International, - and he was, like, devastated. - Mm. Mm. So you're lucky... you're lucky that your dad's so cool. - Yeah. - Oh. Hey! Hey! This is my friend, Maya. Hey, how are you? Hey. I told her to stop by. - I hope that's okay. - Thank you. So, uh, you go to Harvard, too? Yes, I do. Yeah, uh, Maya's in orchestra with me. - She plays the violin. - Oh. And, uh, what instrument do you play? I play the flute. Yeah. - The flute? Oh, wow. - Yeah. I just don't feel like it's my job to be the ambassador to all these Chinese students. I mean, of course I want to help them assimilate, but... First of all, I'm fucking Korean. Okay? And second of all, I don't even speak Mandarin... Her friend Maya was equally captivating, equally compelling. I suddenly felt a deep grief... for all the women I would never love... and all the lives I would never live. I imagined running away with them both and starting again. And what that might look like. Really great, right? Yes. It was pretty funny. You were there, you... I know. Thank you guys so much for dinner. Yes, thank you. Yeah. Well, thanks for taking the time. I know Troy appreciates it. Yeah, Troy's very grateful. Thank you. Uh, well, we're meeting a few people at The Druid for drinks, if you guys want to come. Oh, yeah? Where's that? Uh, just across the street. Oh. You, um... Yeah, you know what, Troy's got a bunch of meetings tomorrow, so, we should probably get some sleep. Not even for one drink? Nah. Oh, I'm not 21, so, I probably can't even get in. Oh, that's right. Shit. Yeah. But you guys have fun, all right? And we'll see you tomorrow night for the concert. We will? Uh, well, no, you can't, 'cause you got dinner with your friend. But, uh, I'm gonna go. Oh, right. Aw. Craig Fisher. Oh. Have fun with that. - Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah. Okay, well, uh... - Okay, bye. - Bye, hon. - I'll see you tomorrow. - Bye. Cool. - Bye. Was nice meeting you. - Yeah, great to meet you. - Thanks for dinner. - All right. - Yeah, of course. All right. - Bye. Thank you. - Thank you so much. - Bye-bye. Good night. Enjoy school. - Thank you. - Okay. Kind of seemed like you wanted to go. Oh, no. No. I was just, uh, just being polite. Mm. Now, your book, as we heard, starts with a warning that readers might be better off with a more cheerful book. Why did you decide to start your book that way? Well, it seemed only fair, um, to warn anyone who was, uh, who was seeking cheerfulness. - Troy? - And, um, also, when I sat down to start writing... Troy, you awake? Hey. Hi. Uh, I think I'll just, uh, close out my tab. Uh, just the whiskey? Yeah. Eight dollars. Hey! Hey! Yeah. You made it. Yeah. I just, uh, had a little insomnia, so I, uh, got a whiskey. Well, we're over in the corner. Come join us. Oh. Uh, nah. You guys are having a good time. I... I just couldn't sleep. Oh, come on. We're not having fun, we're organizing a protest. Yeah? That's cool. Mm-hmm. I'm very impressed by you. Yeah? Yeah. I think it's, uh, really cool, a person your age who's so aware of what's going on, but you're hopeful and, uh, you seem to have your values in the right place. Thank you. Yeah. Reminds me of when I was your age and going to school. So, what's your advice to me? My advice? Yeah. If you were to go back in time and give yourself advice, what would you say? Oh. Seriously? Yeah. Honestly, I'd love to know. Honestly, I would probably say, "Forget nonprofits, Brad. Just go make a lot of money." Shut up. You aren't serious. No, I'm totally serious. If you want to make an impact in the world and have respect, go be Bill Gates. Go make a lot of money, and then you can do whatever you want with it. That's what you would say? Yeah. Look, I go to a dinner party and I tell people what I do for a living, and for about three minutes, they act like they admire me and they're interested, and then, uh, after three minutes, I'm invisible. They do not admire me. And what's worse, they think I'm gonna ask them for a donation... which I usually do. Mm-hmm. What? Do I sound jaded, or... Just know, I started out as idealistic as you or any of your friends over there. And I'm not saying what, you know, what you do... I could tell I'd lost her. Lost her respect. And I wanted it back. I thought if I could summarize the trajectory of my life, she would understand me, see me as someone who'd lost the good fight, but had fought it nonetheless. I mean, when I was in journalism school, that's... that was the ideal, you know? Everybody wanted to be Woodward and Bernstein. You know what I mean? You know... Mm. Mm-hmm. You know who they are, right? Yeah, yeah, of course. I told her about my career mistakes, my years in journalism just as the newspaper business was folding. My attempt to start a digital magazine in San Francisco, but how no one wanted to read long-form pieces anymore. And how I'd won a few prestigious prizes, but my magazine had still gone bust. Yeah, we won a Peabody. I mean, you know, not that that matters, but... I talked about my friends from college, and how they'd sold out and gotten rich, and didn't invite me to their milestone events, even though I'd been the heart and soul of our group. I may have failed in their eyes, but at least I still had my integrity and could sleep at night. And then there are guys like Craig Fisher, who... but he has no moral compass, and he'll just basically pivot to whatever sound bite or talking point, what makes him seem the most interesting, the most, you know, it's whatever. He's very, you know, telegenic. I get it, you know, but... I told her about my nonprofit. Even though it had been struggling lately, I still felt I'd done some real good with it. Maybe if I was more in touch with the people I was helping, or out in the field more, I would feel a little less disconnected or, um... Wh... what is that look? What? That... No, what are you thinking? What am I thinking? Yeah, please, tell me. Honestly... I'm thinking you're really lucky. You're 50 years old, and you still think that the world was made for you. Uh, I'm 47. Do you even know poor people? Of course. Okay, well, when I visit my mother's family in Delhi, a lot of people out there only live on two dollars a day. They're not complaining about being ignored at a dinner party. They're happy they get dinner. Right. But I'm not competing with those people. I'm... You compete with the people who are markers in your life. Why are you competing at all? It's the way the world is. And... You competing with your friends from college, that competition is the history of colonialism, okay? And... and the oppression of women, and the fucking up of the environment. Oh, come on, don't go there. And... I'm not part of the problem, okay? I work for a... a nonprofit, for fuck's sake. It's just, from where I sit, it kind of seems like white privilege, male privilege, first-class problems. Okay. I... You know, I know I might seem like some clich to you, but this is actually my life, okay? Just... don't ask me to feel bad for you. You're doing just fine. Trust me. I promise you; you have enough. Yeah, you, too. I'll see you around. All right, so long. Bye. Dad. Dad. - Dad, we got to go. I got my meeting. - Mm. Mm... hungover. What? You had one glass of wine. I couldn't stop thinking about Ananya and the things she said. And the contempt she had for me. Listen, if we have any luck at all, girls... I doubted she'd ever live up to all her ideals. ...plantains and... and daiquiris... One taste of luxury, how quickly she'd forget the suffering of the masses. I mean, can't believe that I met you girls. I knew I was just trying to make myself feel better. Ananya had a good heart. She reminded me a lot of Melanie. Oh, shit. Melanie. Hey, it's Melanie. Leave me a message. Hey, hon. Uh, trip's going great. Troy's meeting with one of the music professors here right now, and then he's got an interview with the dean of admissions. So, uh, yeah, it all seems to be working out. Uh... Oh. Actually, Troy's coming right now, so, uh, I'll call you back later. Yeah, I got dinner with Craig Fisher tonight, so, I'm really looking forward to that, as you can imagine. Uh, okay. I love you, honey. Bye. Hey. Hey. How was it? It was, uh, it was good. He listened to some of my stuff. I think he liked it. That's awesome, Troy. See? There you go. Connections and talent. I give you the layup, you swish it in. That's great, man. What's wrong? Nothing. Okay. You seem a little, uh... Should be happy. Should be pumped. Yeah. No, I am. I don't... He just, like, wasn't what I expected, but, you know, he was fine. How is he not what you expected? Um... Uh, I don't know, it's just weird, 'cause it's, like... He's one of my heroes, but it seemed like he was trying kind of hard to, like, impress me. Mm-hmm. And he was, like, sort of bragging a lot, and he was, like, uh... a lot more into the business side of things, too, than I would have thought. Like, he kept telling me ways I should monetize my music and just, like, a bunch of weird stuff like that. Um... I don't know. I just thought that he would be cooler. You know, uh, don't be so judgmental, Troy. Hmm? You've been living in a bubble. Remember that, okay? So, don't go... judging people living in the real world until you've actually been out there yourself. Okay? Okay, but you asked me a question, and then I just said that he wasn't what I expected. No, you said he wasn't cool. But, you know, what's cool to a 17-year-old hipster who doesn't pay his own bills isn't necessarily what's cool to the rest of the world. Okay. Fuck. Yeah. Okay? I'm just saying talk to me in 30 years. Then you can tell me who's cool or not. Uh-huh. You know you... you are fucking nuts. I'm about to go have my interview. Do you really need to be jumping all over me right now? Troy... Okay, you're right. I'm sorry. I love you. You're the best. You're the best son. You know I feel that, right? Dad, um... Okay? I know you're gonna kill it in there. Can you leave me alone? I'm just gonna try and clear my head. I'll just meet you after. Okay. All right. Hey, Troy. Yeah? I'm proud of you. Want to follow me, please? Is... is that your daughter? Yeah. She's got her interview now? Oh, yeah. Hope it goes well. My son's meeting with the dean, so, uh... he's been a little on edge. Good luck. Thanks. Hello? Hey, Brad. It's Jason Hatfield. Hey. Jason. Hang on a second. It's been a long time. What's up? Uh, my office said you called me. Oh, yeah. Right. I was actually, um, just calling for Craig's number, but I got it from Billy. Oh, okay. Good. Well, uh, all right, look, I... I heard you, uh, guys all got together in LA. How was that? I don't really have time to talk. It's just, it's not a good time right now. Mm-hmm. Okay. Well... Listen, I don't mean to be rude. It's just I've got all these clients looking for me, and I'm in Minnesota. I'm at the Mayo Clinic, and I'm waiting on some test results, and I've got to make a noon flight back to New York, or I'm gonna miss this deposition that I've been preparing for for months, so... Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I got it. I hear you. Well, at least you know the plane will wait for you, right? I don't understand. I mean, you have your own jet, right? So, that must make it a little easier. A jet? Are you being an asshole right now, or... What? No. No. I'm serious. You... I don't own a jet. - What are you talking about? - I... I thought... I swear you told me once you had a private plane. What? No. In San Francisco. When I saw you, you said you just were on your, um... Yeah, my company leased a plane and flew everyone out there. Um, okay, well, I misunderstood. Listen, I just found out that my daughter has a tethered spine, okay? She's fucking three years old. What? Oh, no. Man, I'm... Jason, I... What does... what does that mean? I don't know what it means, except, uh, she's having major surgery in the morning, and, uh, she's just, uh... she's so little, you know? Oh... my God. And it's killing me. Listen, we're sitting down with the doctors right now. I got to go, Brad. Okay. Okay, well... well, uh, keep me posted, and please give my love to your family. And, uh, I'm really sorry. Aren't you gonna, like, ask me how it went? What? The interview? Yeah, of course. How'd it go? It was, uh, it was really good. He said Jerome Backaly already called him and told him that I was talented and to pay attention to my application. Really? Yeah. Troy, that's amazing. Yeah. Are you happy? Yeah. Good, man. Come on. Let's get this guy, all right? Hey, we're going to Tufts University. Do you mind if I don't go on the tour? Okay, sure. There's an old professor of mine - I want to go say hi to. - Okay. I think I told you about him. Yeah. That's fine. Yeah, it's right down there. My old dorm is back that way. Hi. I'm an old student of Professor Connor's. I was hoping I could say hi to him. - Is he, uh... - Oh. You just missed him. - He just left? - No. Um... I'm sorry to say he died... just a few weeks ago, so... He died? But his name is still on the, uh, directory. I know. We have to change that. I just got in here, so... Oh. How did he die? He had a stroke, and he never recovered. - Oh. Well, that's so sad. - Mm. Yes. He was a great teacher. He was a sweet man, mm-hmm. Okay, well... have a nice day. Thanks. You, too. Hello? Hey, Brad. I saw you called. Everything okay? Yeah. Everything's great. Yeah. It's great. Hey, Mel... I just, um... I just... Isn't it crazy how we made this kid, and now he's this... brilliant, amazing person? I wish you were here. Aw. So do I. Well, honey, we're getting ready to go into the conference. I should probably go. Um, but I love you. I'll call you tonight. Yeah. Okay. Okay, great. I love you, too. Yeah. Thank you so much for... You know, I like Tufts. It's a good school. I think I'd be happy there. And, you know, you went there. Yeah. Yeah, thanks for bringing me here, Dad, and going all out and everything. Aw. I didn't do anything. Well, no, I mean, you made all those calls, and then now you have to go to dinner with a guy you hate. I don't hate him. I like him. But you said he was a jerk and you hated his guts. Nah, he's a good guy. He's, uh... he's an old friend. I'm actually looking forward to seeing him. Old friends are important. All right, I'm heading out. I wish I could go to your concert, but, have a good time, all right? All right. All right, man. Have fun. I'll see you. Hi. I believe I have a reservation for two at 7:00. The name is Sloan. Okay. Great. Follow me. Yes, you are the first to arrive. Oh. Okay. Do you happen to have another table? Just, it's a little loud right here. We're fully booked tonight. How about that one? I'm sorry, but it's not available. Oh. Looks like it's available. Yeah. It's not. Mm-hmm. Thank you. - Hey, buddy. - Hey, man! - Look at you. You look good. - Oh... I'm going gray. Oh. Not as bad as me. We failed in life. Hmm? Failed to stay young. Come on, grab your beer. We're moving tables. Oh. Okay. I guess this table was available. Yes. Enjoy your dinner. Thank you so much for coming tonight. Oh. We love having you. Ah. Can I get a Jack and Coke? Absolutely. I'll get that for you myself. Thank you. You must be a regular. Never been here before. But I hear it's good. Really? She was acting like you guys were best friends. Uh... Oh. 'Cause she recognizes you? That must be nice. Aw, man. Dude! Ah. How long has it been? It must be over ten years. Yeah. Man, it's so good to see you. Really. Really. Really good to see you. It's good to see you, pal. Welcome to Boston. Thank you. Where are you staying? We're at, uh, the Oak Tree ExecuStay. Wow. Yeah. I've never heard of anyone staying there. Uh, is it nice? Yeah. It's, uh, it's not bad. So, listen, thank you so much for getting Troy in to meet with that music professor and the dean of admissions. That was huge. And he had really great meetings. Oh, I'm glad. Yeah. I just can't believe he's already looking at colleges. I know. Me, either. Well, I guess, you know, my girls are, too. They're only 12, but they're all over it. They're writing out their little applications. Mm-hmm, yeah, well... They're so much more on it than we were. Yeah, I know, right? Troy has a great attitude about it all. Yeah. Is he medicated? No. Oh. Thank you. Pleasure. So, how's Melanie? Mm. Uh, she's great. Yeah, yeah. She's... really likes her job, and she's always been pretty happy. Diane just, uh, sold an article to HBO. They're gonna make a series out of it. Oh. Cool. Wow. Yeah. So, uh, I went to Tufts today. Bob Connor died. I know, I know. You knew? Yeah. Well, I spoke at his memorial. Oh. You did? Yeah. We'd been in touch. Well, he'd asked me a few times to speak in his class about journalism and government. Oh, he did? That's... that's flattering. Yeah, I usually try and get out of that stuff, but, you know, for him... Such a good person. Yeah. Yeah, he was the, uh, closest thing I ever had to a mentor. Oh, right. That... Yes. You were his favorite. Back in the day. Yeah. I wish I'd been there at his memorial. I wish I'd known. If I had seen you at Nick's wedding, I would have told you about it. It happened right after. Yeah. I didn't know about Nick's thing either. Well, you didn't miss much. Nick has gotten s... I mean, I love the guy. But the more successful he gets, the gayer he gets. He's, like, a full-on flamer now, with hairless dudes in banana hammocks running around his house, humping each other. Yeah, I saw that house in, uh, Architectural Digest. It's... Oh, yeah, yeah. It's like the set for a sci-fi gay porno or something. Hmm. I, um, talked to Jason today. Oh, yeah? How's he? Uh, he sounded stressed. His, uh... his kid's sick. I think she has something wrong with her spine. Oh, that sucks. Uh, which one? He has, like, four. Uh, I think I might have offended him. I thought he had his own jet, for some reason, and I brought it up, and maybe I sounded glib... I don't know... but, uh, he seemed annoyed at me that I accused him of having his own plane. I felt bad. Well, he does have a plane. No, he doesn't. Yes, he does. No, his company maybe leases one for him. Yeah, that's his company. His company, his plane. Are you sure? Did you not read the piece in the Times? Oh, my God, he's getting sued. He lost a lot of money for a lot of powerful people. He's running scared. Oh, my God. That's, uh... I... Might be why he was a little, uh, sensitive about it. Yeah. I guess, uh... Oh. I thought, uh... I guess I got that wrong. I don't know. No, Jason is a pillar of society. He is a... He's a family man, you know? He's a good dude. And he's a total crook. Really? Yeah, he's a thief. I mean, there's a chance... albeit slight, that he goes to jail. Really? Jesus. Yeah. You don't get rich like that by being an Eagle Scout. Mm. Mm. He should do what Billy did. He should flee. Yeah, Billy. Right. He's really living the dream, huh? Two girlfriends. Ah. Just don't call him after 5:00 p.m. Why not? What do you mean? He's a drunk. He is? Mm! And a. And a. Shut up. What are you... Don't be naive. You knew that. I mean, when I talked to him on the phone, he sounded okay. He was... It was early in the morning. He was, like, walking his dog. He'd probably been out all night on a bender. No, come on, in his defense, he's got a lot of time on his hands. You pick up vices. Oh. Huh. I'm so in the dark. Well, that is what happens to you when you drop out and you move to Sacramento. I'm... I moved to Sacramento. I didn't drop out. Why did you move to Sacramento? Because Melanie got a job there. Yeah. And, uh, I can work anywhere right now. Oh, that's right. You have your little, uh, thing. Oh, that is... No, that is a cool thing that you're doing. Thank you. That is good stuff. I'm sorry I didn't get back to you about that. Oh, it's all right. Just came at a moment when I was getting bombarded, you know? It's like every day I'm being hit up for requests. Speaking engagements and writing introductions to someone's book and being asked to sit on boards, executive boards, not-for-profit boards. It's just not enough hours in the day, you know? Sometimes you got to... you got to just draw the line. As hard as it is. Mm-hmm. You know? You got to learn... to say no. Just yesterday I was asked to speak at the Aspen Ideas Festival in June. Well, that one I'm gonna do. But that's cool, you know? That's interesting people, well-curated. Hey, Craig. Yeah. Listen, I just want you to know, uh... I'm proud of you. I really am. Oh. I know you must be under so much pressure, you know, having so many balls in the air and everything that's going on. But... you know, from the outside... It's not that stressful. It's... it's fun. I'm just happy for you. Aw. To be honest, at first, when I'd see you on TV, it kind of bothered me a little. Just 'cause, you know, we always had our little competitive thing. But, um... you know, I'm happy in my life. You're doing what you want to do. And things work out the way they should. I was never competitive with you. Well, I mean, come on. Really? Uh, maybe in school for, like, a second. But, um... I haven't thought of you like that in years. You haven't thought of me that way? Wh... What do you... what do you mean by that? Why would I compete with you? Aw, come on, shut the fuck up. What? Look, I'm just... I'm trying to be real with you, all right? Let's... You know? I mean... Like, do you... do you even know what I do? I mean, I actually help people. I... I just don't... I don't... Like, why would you... treat me like this? Treat you? Like what? I just... I don't... What am I to you? Am I... Excuse me, Mr. Fisher. Hi. Uh, my name's Mark. Hi. Um, I'm such a big fan of yours. I... I love your work, your books, just everything. I was wondering if I could take a picture... You know, my mom died, and you never said anything. Like, you follow me on Facebook, you know? I just... I don't know. I don't know. Sorry, am I... interrupting? No, no, no. Go, go, go. Oh, okay. Thank you. Great. Thank you. I... Are you my friend? Or... Are you? Or... I don't know. I mean, what are... Are we even... What are we? I just, I just... All this shit-talking. And... just... Just, it's like, I... Right now, I'm feeling like... I know what I'm feeling, and it's not... Okay, I'm genuinely confused. What's going on? Sorry. Thank you for helping my son. But I just... I can't... I'm sorry, I can't... I can't... can't do this. I don't know whatever this is. I can't... Sir? Your ticket. Yeah. Thank you. Excuse me. Dad? Hi. What happened to your dinner? I'd rather be here with you. Those are the girls from last night. I know. They're so good. A sudden rush of feeling flooded through me. I spend so much time in my mind, puffing myself up, tearing myself down. I sat there and just listened and let myself really feel the life inside me. The music was beautiful. The girls were beautiful. I could love them and never possess them, just like I could love the world and never possess it. I still did love the world. Dad? Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. I'm okay. Want one? No thanks. Ananya said you met up with her last night. Yeah. Uh, I couldn't sleep. Just a drink. Hey, Dad, you having some kind of nervous breakdown or something? No. No, it's just... sometimes I, uh... have doubts, you know? Just... worry that people look at me and, uh, think of me as... a failure. But, you know, the feeling passes. So... Mm. You know, when we were walking around today and you were embarrassing me, I kept thinking, like, you know, if I go to this school, everybody here's gonna remember this and I'm never gonna be able to live this down. But... you know, they're not gonna remember. Because... everybody's just thinking about themselves. You know? Nobody cares. Like, the only person that's thinking about you, is me, so... only person's opinion that you should really care about is mine. Yeah. What's your opinion? Well, I love you. Thank you. My son. He's here. We still have years together. I try to imagine the future. I kept saying, in my head... we're still alive. I'm still alive. Action. Lose yourself in nature and find peace Lose yourself in nature and find peace Troubles will come Troubles will release Lose yourself in nature and find peace If you love Be happy, loyal and free If you love Be happy, loyal and free You may have others You may stay with me Love be happy, loyal and free Chickens and children know it all Chickens and children know it all We may reach great heights But surely we may fall Chickens and children know it all God is not full of hate God is not full of hate Some may use him Defend their fearful ways But God is not full of hate Lose yourself in nature and find peace Lose yourself in nature and find peace Troubles will come And these troubles will release Lose yourself in nature and find peace |
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