[Nick Ellis singing "A Girl Called Desire"]
[guitar plucking tune]
I know a girl with a secret second name
she's called Desire.
Just for me, like an Adam to an Eve,
pure desire.
She's always vexing and
contesting about a little piece of paper,
mistaken, for the Mother with
the surname of a certain super-saviour.
Save her.
I know a girl called Desire.
I know a girl called Desire.
All these whispers and this
pillow talk amount to my frustration.
Beautiful and murderous and dangerous,
a deadly combination.
I'm deluded by the fact she's unavailable,
she's spoken for, she's taken.
Marvel at the state I'm in, I'm heavy.
Am I under your sedation?
I know a girl called Desire.
I know a girl called Desire.
The strangest little girl
set the whole world on fire.
Because, I know a girl called Desire.
I know a girl who's the seven deadly sins
she's called Desire.
A tome that was read like
the book of the dead spoke of fire.
Her name was the same aforementioned
with the evilest of fables.
Because her Daddy was the Devil and
her mother was the lover to an angel.
Reign stole Desire.
I know a girl called Desire
and I want her.
The strangest little girl
set the whole world on fire.
[gunshot]
Because I know a girl called Desire.
Desire.
Desire.
Desire.
[car engine rumbling]
(Cottrell) What is your problem?
(Chloe) Nothing, alright, stop asking me those questions!
[Nick Ellis playing "Victoria's Theme]
[acoustic guitar music]
(Giles)
An extraordinary investment opportunity.
Come 2012, anything with a VAT number
within five miles of this building
Will be printing money so fast,
it'll have to be entered as a Olympic Event.
(Giles) Well for 800 thousand pounds
you have a stake in the business.
But I was thinking about four luxury flats.
(Cottrell) What do you reckon Chris'?
All I need is 800 thousand pounds.
(Nick)
We've got a few more signatures off you please.
(Cottrell)
There you go.
(Nick)
Just there.
Thank you.
[keyboard keys tapping]
Signing my life away.
[sheets of paper rustling]
Last one there Mr. Cottrell
(Nick) Thank you very much for that.
(Cottrell) Pleasure, thank you Matthew.
Brilliant doing business with you.
[acoustic guitar music]
[car speeding past]
[high heels clattering on laminate]
(Kadir)[Estate agent]
[muffled sales pitch to Christy]
[high heel steps on wooden stairs]
[keys jangling]
[acoustic Guitar music continues]
(Christy)
It's perfect. I'll take it.
(Kadir) You like it?
(Christy) Yeah.
I think it's all...look I'll check this later, but
[envelope rustling into pocket]
I do need to see the other tenants,
cause we're moving quite quick on this.
(Kadir)
I just need to just check if they're legit and...
Is that alright?
(Christy) Yeah, no they're fine, they're fine,
they're twenty minutes away so.
(Kadir) Oh great so we can see them today?
(Christy) I'll get them down, you can meet them, yeah.
Alright, great, nice one, lovely.
(Chloe)
Christy you promised me you'd get the cat.
(Christy) They will go round your flat,
they will find that cat and they will deal with it...
(Chloe) Yeah they'll deal with it.
(Christy) No, they ain't going to do anything like that.
(Nick) They'll hold it ransom.
(Christy)[laughing] They can have it.
(Christy)
Two weeks and we are sorted, we're laughing!
[Nick Ellis singing "The She Club Mystery"]
She put it all together like a mastermind.
I caught her bound in a love-embrace,
with some peculiar protraction
in the look on her face
Back stabbing when you're falling in love.
it ain't the kind of kinship
that you're thinking of.
If you're gonna go,
I think you better go right now.
Well if you're gonna go.
then, I guess you better leave.
[Ill Move Sporadic Feat. Big Toast rapping "You're not Special"]
[Hiphop music][Bassy]
You ain't special.
You're not.
You're a bit shit.
Yo, yo, yo!
You ain't special,
give up on your dreams
Your positivity is not some shit I wanna see.
You can be chirpy,
please do it quietly.
Toast is a realist,
you don't inspire me.
Don't want to be part of society.
Dressing up, begging some Tarquin to hire me.
Fuck off!
And I do not crave admiration
from grabby little cunts with great aspirations.
You ain't shit but...
(Phil) Mickey Mullins, You know Mickey Mullins.
(Tommy) Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(Phil) Mullins is a fucking big family.
(Tommy) I know, he's a maniac en he?
(Phil) He said to me right,
never punch a person in the face,
don't do it, that's girly stuff,
punch them in the throat, the thorax.
(Tommy) Oh right yeah.
(Phil) I see this geezer, fuckin' this geezer went blue!
(Tommy) That's right, you punch them in face,
you face their head the other way round, don't ya?
(Phil)
Well that's fucking obvious!
Begging to these fake higher forces for help.
You ain't great, won't make a difference,
when you're speaking nobody listens.
Yeah, just after a Q mate if that's alright?
Yeah. In-between Manor House and Seven Sisters.
[British TV sitcom murmurs]
(Phil) James!
(Tommy) Seriously, I can't, sorry,
no, I ain't being funny.
Look hold on a sec. Phil?
- Yeah?
- Will you do me a favour mate?
(Phil) No.
- Oh leave it out!
(Phil) What is it? what is it?
- Seriously, will you do a drop for me?
- What today?
- Well yeah, well like now.
I'm fucking monged mate,
I ain't going now.
Oh come, sort us out, go on,
it ain't far, go on mate.
Half an hour, give us half an hour,
half an hour, little bit of rest.
(Tommy) Yeah, yeah, look I'll sort you,
but I'm going to send my pal round alright?
Okay, alright cheers.
Nice one Phil. Half hour yeah?
Yeah, you pay for the fucking cab.
Yeah, I'll go call one now y'alright?
- Not now.
(Tommy) Half hour, look you gonna do it? Half hour yeah?
Yeah, I'm out and about today, mate
don't worry I'm out from under your feet.
Okay I'll get the cab for half hour alright?
- Fucking moaning at me.
(Tommy) I ain't moaning! Shit!
Like a fucking old woman.
Fucking! Here James,
tell your old man to fuck off will you?
(Tommy) Don't swear in front of the kid like that,
I keep telling ya!
Alright, alright, oh don't,
Tommy I'm sorry mate, alright?
(Tommy) He's only starting swearing now
and it's down to you.
Look, look, look,
I'm fucking in bits here.
Yeah, alright, well don't swear,
that's all I'm saying!
Fuckin' hell, wants a fucking row!
(Tommy) Oh Lou, come have a word!
- Oh sorry, fuckin, it just come out.
[Ill Move Sporadic Feat. Tenchoo rapping "Chess Pieces"]
[heavy bassline]
[car door clunks open]
(Christy)
Whoa! Oh, Alright Chine.
How you doin' Christy?
[car door slams]
- What you doing round here? [keys jangling]
- Whoa, what you doing? Whoa.
What you doing round here?
[nervously]
I'm just picking up a cat, for Cottrell.
Mr. Cottrell sent you round here
to come and get that cat?
He ain't going to leave the cat in the flat
to die is he? He ain't that heartless.
I'm just picking up the cat, man.
That's all I'm doing.
And Mr. Cottrell sent you round here
to come and pick up that cat?
I don't see the problem. I don't understand.
What's the problem?
(Christy)
I ain't doing nothing wrong, I swear down,
I'm just doing Cottrell a favour, that's all.
[keys jangling] Alright.
[car door clunks open]
Alright?
See you later yeah?
[car door slams]
(Chine)[muffled]
Yeah I'll see you later yeah.
[guitar strum]
[Nick Ellis playing "Sally-Go-Round The Roses"]
[cheery guitar picking ditty]
[Ill Move Sporadic Feat. Tenchoo rapping "Ducking"]
[ominous hip hop music]
(Nick) How you doing mate? Nick, pleased to meet ya.
(Phil) Alright Nick.
(Phil) Nice to meet you as well.
(Nick) Just go the living room, it's just to the right.
Sure will do mate, sure will do.
Do us a smoke.
[plastic package rattles]
Fuckin' actor.
[plastic package rustling]
(Nick)
How much is this going to cost, for a Q?
Told you.
(Nick)
I can't remember how much you said on the phone.
You were dealing with the other fella like, all I know is that,
I want a fuckin' one-er off you for that.
(Nick) A one-er?
- 90?
(Nick)
You taking the piss?
- 80... 70... keep your money in your pocket!
(Nick)[laughing]
Give us a score for it, give us a score for it,
and that'll cover me and me pal, yeah.
(Nick) Is that it?
- Yeah that's it, well no, it's 25 now.
Stop fuckin arguing, you're like a little bitch,
you're like a little bitch, or something.
(Nick) I don't know what the prices are do I?
I don't know!
No, it's a score again.
[whispering] I tell you what, it's fucking cheese that is.
(Nick)
Well it smells it man, it smells.
Fucking mature cheddar mate,
get it up your own "rose," son. ["nose"]
(Nick)
Do you smoke it a lot like?
No, I don't smoke it anymore.
(Nick)
Alright, great, what you wanting a spliff for?
I have the occasional puff, but I tell you,
know what I'm gonna do now,
I have a little bit of charlie, a few e's and that,
but that fucking skunk stuff,
that fucking cheese, will knock me out.
You know? I used to like the old, Marijuana.
Used to sit back and
let the world float away over you.
But that stuff, you're fucking laughing,
I'm hyper enough as it is,
without fuckin' going for that stuff.
You know what I mean? Yeah.
(Nick) Yeah, it don't make me hyper,
it makes me all chilled out.
Well good, that's good for you son.
That's good for you Nick.
(Phil)
Fuckin' actor, fuck me.
[Nick Ellis singing "By Your Side"]
[acoustic guitar][mellow dreamy tune]
It's quiet here on top of hill,
lying easy-like and perfectly still.
We go looking down on the shore
collecting things you like to keep off the floor.
You sign your name with stick in the sand,
sing me a song by your favourite band.
We go skipping in out of the tide
and everything feels so right.
When I'm walking by your side.
I told you, he's like a little fuckin...
He's like a little pup to me.
I can do anything you want. Yeah?
(Phil) Fuck me, you gonna roll one? (Nick) Yeah.
(Phil) About fuckin time!
[fridge hum]
[Radio][Nick Ellis track continues]
- Oi. Nick.
(Nick) What?
Why you've got a fur stool?
(Nick) Wha what?
Fucking fur stool, fuck me!
Where the fuck did that come from?
- There's girls who live here as well.
- Yeah?
(Nick) What did you think?
You thought I had a girls...
Fuck me! Er, are you like?
You know, Do you? Are you?
Sort of? You know?
(Nick) No, no, no.
- No, I didn't mean to fucking... you know.
No offence. But I still don't understand
why a stool is covered in fur.
[Car Radio](DJ) In session for us on the show today,
and looking forward to more music
[Car Radio](DJ) coming up later on from Nick Ellis.
[Car Radio](DJ) But in the meantime back into looking
for your calls on the topic in this hour.
[Radio][Ill Move Sporadic feat. Big Toast rapping
"The Cult of the Individual"][Hip-hop]
He's funny guy you know,
but he does fucking turn up trumps.
Well you know there's three blocks though right.
There's a blue block, there's a green block,
there's a red block.
(Nick) I don't know what you mean man.
- You know, tower blocks
they've been painted different
fucking colours by the council.
The green block is the best.
I mean I can take fucking care
of three blocks if I want to.
Hello.
Nick, you know you're not meant to do that there.
(Nick) Eh?
(Chloe) You're not meant to skin up there.
- Where am I meant to skin up then?
- There.
Oh sorry!
Well anyway, this is Phil, Chloe.
Er, you can call me Pete,
it's a joke, it's a joke.
- What's your name sorry?
- Chloe.
- With an e?
- Yeah.
- I'd like to see you with an e.
(Phil)&(Nick)[laughing]
- Can I just get into the...
- Course you can darling, yeah.
Second name. Let me guess...Patra?
(Phil) Chlo-e-Patra!
(Phil) You cold?
- Nah I'm okay.
(Phil) Could put that bearskin on couldn't you?
(Nick) What is that?
(Phil) Yeah, what is that?
(Nick) What is that fur?
(Phil) We've been dying to ask, what-is-that?
It's fake fur!
I couldn't wear real fur!
(Phil) It's what?
- Fake fur.
(Phil) What from a fake animal
- Well, it's...
(Phil) It's just a little joke. [laughing]
- Synthetic, yeah...
(Phil) Yeah anyway,
hope you don't mind me being here.
I just like having a laugh
and a giggle as people do.
[garbled] What time are you going home anyway?
Have you got to be anywhere today?
Say that in English?
(Nick) What time are you going home
have you got anywhere to be today?
[garbled][mimicking Nick]
You-going-home-anywhere-to-be-today.
(Nick) What time are you going home
have you got anything to do today, sir?
(Phil)
He's a fucking actor and he can't fucking talk!
That's amazing, innit,
I would have thought that without your voice,
You wouldn't be able to act.
(Chloe)&(Nick)[snickering]
Mind you, without your fucking mouth,
you wouldn't get enough gear down you, would you?
I love you anyway.
[laughs]
[Radio][Rapping]
The cult of the individual.
- Really, really, really, tired.
- Yeah.
Might go bed.
Should be a model,
fuckin' should be a model, I'm telling ya.
I've known birds, like, all my life, you know.
(Chloe)[scoffs]
And a lot. No, I'm being serious.
A lot of them...
A lot of them have thought,
that they could be into the old, er,
modelling fuckin' dibby do-dah, you know?
But you could. Look at you!
(Phil) Actually, I've got pal,
works down in Clerkenwell.
He does like, sort of reprints of
photographs and stuff like that.
- Mmm.
(Phil) But I know he's got fucking contacts there.
Fuck me! I mean I can't promise,
like you know.
Oh, I, If you. You. Don't. Want. To. Do.
Do you?
(Nick) You were telling me to
speak English a minute ago, innit.
- Yeah, I don't... Nah.
(Phil) Not you?
(Phil) Oh well, fucking hell,
there's a chance for you there, girl.
(Chloe) Nah.
- Another wasted fucking life, eh?
- Chloe, do you wanna?
(Chloe) No.
(Phil) You sure?
- Merci!
I can still hunt out that syringe,
if you want?
I don't drugs, you know....
(Phil) Ears! See that's what I like about you,
that's the person you remind me of,
cause she used to look like,
a little fucking Chimpanzee!
No offence, like!
But it's just the ears!
You know how they stick out a little bit, it's sexy.
You imagine that in a photograph. That!
A chimpanzee?
(Phil) You look like a, chim...
no in a good chimpanzee way,
- Not like fuckin' bollocks chimpanzees!
- Okaaay.
(Nick)
Am I making dinner tonight or are you?
(Chloe)
I thought you said it was your turn?
(Nick) All I can make is "spag-bol," that's all I can do.
(Chloe) Yeah that's fine.
She's a fucking monkey, in leopard-skin.
A monkey in leopard skin!
That could be the name of a band
or something, couldn't it?
(Chloe)
Okay?
(Phil) What do you play? D'y sing?
D'y sing? Cause you could front a band maybe?
(Chloe) Y'think?
(Phil) Yeah!
(Phil) Fucking leopard-skinned monkeys.
(Chloe) I'm just happy doing what I'm doing so...
(Phil) Fuck all! No.. See.
What do you do?
You haven't told me what you do.
Aw well, phh, that is a Pandora's Box!
(Nick) Yeah, what do you do? what d'you do Phil?
What have you done? Have you ever worked?
(Phil) Sorry?
- Have you ever worked?
(Phil)
That's fuckin' my business, innit?
(Chloe) Well, you're asking us
all the questions, so, you know...
I'm only being friendly, like,
telling you about you, your potentially.
(Chloe) I know, I'm, I'm flattered, but...
(Phil) What d'y mean, what I've been fucking doing?
(Nick) I'm just asking, what you did for work,
if you ever worked before or anything like that?
(Cottrell) She's not answering her phones.
I don't know where she is!
(Fenton) I asked you, when was
the last time you seen her?
Three days ago probably.
[phone buzzing ringtone] Barry.
The solicitors,
I've just been into the solicitors.
And that legal representative, that they've sent round,
they've never heard of him.
- What?
(Barry)[on phone] I knew it, I had a feeling in my blood.
Are you sure?
Yeah, they've never heard of him.
(Phil) Might just as well, get a fuckin' bic lighter.
[door squeaks open]
And fuckin' do him, you know what I mean?
[Radio][Travel News]
Seriously though, you with me?
Look at me then if I'm with you.
(Christy)
Cat.
(Chloe)[to cat] Hello! Come on!
(Christy) Alright.
(Chloe)
Out you come. I am glad to see you.
(Nick)
I got a bit of smoke earlier on.
- This is Phil. Sorted me out a bit of green.
(Chloe)[to cat] Glad to see you!
(Christy) What's your name?
- Er, Phil.
(Christy) Christy.
(Phil) Nice to meet ya.
(Christy)&(Chloe)[cooing over cat]
(Nick) Happy you got your cat back then?
(Chloe)[to cat]
Little muffin, oh you...
Nice little cat that.
(Christy)
Lovely cat, yeah mate.
(Christy)
So you alright?
About dogs, I've never had a cat
(Christy) So how do you know er?
He knows Adam,
who I rang up for a bit of bud.
(Christy)
Right.
(Christy) You know we've got
our meeting tonight don't ya?
(Nick) Yeah.
(Chloe) Oh is it tonight?
(Christy)
Yeah.
What meeting's that, is it?
(Christy)
Er just house stuff mate.
Oh.
(Christy) We're going to be...
I just want to have a bath and all that, so...
[overlapping](Christy) sorry mate, not wanting to be rude...
- No that's alright, no fucking disrespect at all...
[overlapping](Phil) Yeah, catch you later. Alright mate, bye bye.
(Nick)Thank you so much matey, alright.
(Phil) Nice to have met you. (Christy) See you later.
(Nick) See you later! I'll walk him to the door.
[Radio][Blues Music]
[crackling record]
Is he fuckin' taking the piss or what?
(Chloe)
Been here all day you know.
All fuckin' day?
No he's having a fucking laugh, seriously.
[Nick Ellis playing "Mick's Walk"]
[acoustic guitar music]
(Fenton)
It's left your account, d'y'understand?
The computer says, it's left your account.
I feel sick.
I don't care what a computer screen says.
Let's go and see what he has to say.
Get it up there Christy and show me where it is.
No, I'll show you seriously, you can see.
[frantic keyboard typing]
[acoustic guitar music]
[mellow upbeat tune]
(Nick) Want some of that Christy?
(Christy) Yes I do, cheers.
[acoustic guitar music]
[mellow upbeat tune]
I mean, has he been a bit moody with you, Lou?
[dishes clanging in sink]
He's always moody.
What? Nah.
Not when you first met him. Nah.
We were good mates,
we were like brothers then.
I like to think we still... You know,
Between me and you,
how much you reckon he owes me?
I don't want to get involved.
(Phil) Alright, I won't put a figure on it.
I will not put a figure on it.
But. He shouldn't upset me,
cause he knows what I'm fuckin' capable of.
Yeah?
(Lou)
As I said, I don't want to get involved.
(Phil) Not that I'd ever smack him,
not that I ever would, but you know...
Well, not round here, like,
you know, not in your house.
Which I am grateful, you know...to be put up with.
[cupboard squeaking open]
[tinfoil crumpling][cupboard shutting]
Yeah...
What d'y do all day then Lou? What d'y do all day?
[tinfoil crackling onto baking tray]
(Lou) I've got a kid, I'm a mother,
that's a job isn't it?
Yeah, but that only takes, you know,
like say the first half of the day
and then what do you do?
Go Bingo and all that bollocks?
Have lunch? Is that what they call it?
Have lunch with the girls or whatever yeah?
Hahahaha.
(Lou)
Get off my nobs.
Here y'are, gas, that's what I want.
I want a gas cooker,
much better cooker ent they?
Know the electric ones.
You get the heat going,
then you turn it down.
But it takes about,
three days to cool down.
Uh huh, um, interesting...
(Phil)
It is, innit, see I'm domesticated me.
I know long words, I know long words.
Domesticated. Incredible.
Elephantiasis...
See a geezer with elephantiasis
on the telly the other day,
Legs as big as yours...
No that's a joke.
You don't even know
what elephantiasis is, do you?
It's when you develop a trunk.
[phone vibrating]
Hello?
Hello Sasha!
I'm alright,
thank you very much, you?
Listen, this Chav, project... Yes, it's a very good project.
[muffled][busy city traffic]
You did well, they want to see you again.
Er, I think they thought you were a bit...
You know, I'm not sure they thought
you'd read the script though so...
I do think you need to
do some more research on this.
In fact I don't think, I know you do.
I think maybe get yourself down to Camden.
Buy some weed and sell some weed.
And get a real feel for what this all about.
You know.
Think method.
Think Daniel Day Lewis.
Yeah.
That'd be no problem that.
- Phil? Phil! (Phil) What huh?
[TV soap][heated conversation]
- Phone! Phone for you.
- Me? On the phone?
Hello? Nick? Nick!
How you doing son? You alright?
Yeah!! Was it good? Fuckin' is good innit?
Yeah. Straight to the ol' bonce!
(Phil)
Yeah, yeah, could do!
Well yeah, yeah.
Oh I sort of know
the manor and that like.
I know what to do and what not to do, you know.
(Phil) That sort of, yeah I can
take you out, yeah, few places.
Actually, I need to get out and about at the moment.
Yeah I'll tell you when I see ya.
Alright mate, yeah,
I can be there then. Yeah.
Allllright!
Yeah nice one Nick, alright son, bye.
[builders banging metal nearby]
[keys jangling][footstep scuffs on concrete]
Come on son.
[key clicking in lock]
[door handle clicking][door jangling open]
I'm new.
Fucking hell, it's like Fort Knox!
[door squeaks closed]
[TV][stockmarket report](Reporter)
The FTSE100 has spent the morning in the red and is currently
[TV](Reporter) down zero point two percent
at seven two two two point zero.
(Phil)
Chloe? Chloe! You alright?
(Chloe)
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
Just had a slash and thought I'd pop in
and see how you are?
(Chloe)
I'm alright.
No work?
It's just gone really quiet.
(Phil) Where d'y get the er kitten?
you got, it is just?...
I've had him for years!
(Phil) Oh right, cool. Years?
I didn't know, that small, yeah..
So what you do? Have a nice bath today
and make yourself comfortable and that?
(Chloe) Yeah, yeah, but, I kind of want
to get myself up and ready now so...
Yeah... Are you going out tonight?
(Chloe)
I might do yeah.
(Phil)
Where you going? Club?
Oh, I dunno but, I just want to kind of
wanna get dressed and get ready, so...
(Phil) Sure, sure, yeah, I take the...
Well I'll see you downstairs probably yeah?
(Chloe)
Yeah I'll see ya in a bit.
Alright girl, as long as you're alright Chloe.
(Chloe) Yeah I'm fine.
- Bye!
[IMS feat Big Toast rapping - STPTG][Hiphop music]
Tell me it's wonderful!
You know that script though...
It er...
(Nick) Yeah...
It's sort of there innit and you just erm...
You just get it through the post, you read it, then bang,
suddenly we see it on the fuckin' cinema screen.
- Fucking weird innit?
(Nick) Mmmm
From a little thought I mean,
just from a little thought.
That's like any appliance
in the fuckin' kitchen innit?
Hmmm?
From somebody's thought came...
- The washing machine, the cooker...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah...
Where's it all going mate? Where's it all going?
I'm getting a bit morbid.
Your turn to entertain me!
Do some acting for me!
I act for money.
I fucking mean it. Do some acting for me.
Eh?
What you wanna fucking go toe-to-toe?
(Nick)[laughing nervously] What the fuck?
- A-ha-ha-ha-ha! In the keep net! In the keep net!
(Nick)[laughing jollily]
(Nick) They don't recognise me though.
I bet they do, I bet they do recognise you.
Anytime you get a bird now,
aaa-anytime you get a bird now,
it's not going to be about your looks,
it's not going to be about that,
you know what it's about,
little bit of power.
When I had fucking power,
I could have any bird I fucking wanted.
Any bird I wanted,
any fucking description, could have it.
- [barking] Power!
(Nick)[uninterested] Yeah.
- Yeah.
(Nick)[scoffs][laughs awkwardly]
I embarrass you?
No you don't embarrass me,
you fucking scare me.
I'm not like that anymore though,
d'y know what I mean?
(Phil) I just have me smoke,
I have a bit of charlie,
have a bit of fuckin' speed,
little bit of ketamine.
Not on the same night,
like, d'y know what I mean?
But it's around see, this is the thing,
I'm like fucking someone working at a sweet shop, yeah.
It's alway fucking there. Fucking there.
(Nick) D'y sell other things, other than bud, like?
Sell powder an' that?
(Phil)
Yeah!
What's it like, any good?
(Phil) Fuckin' e's are fucking magic,
I tell you.
MDA, mostly MDA has supposedly
been fuckin' cut with fuckin' speed,
or worse, cut with fuckin' Vim
or something like that.
You know the old fuckin' bleach powder,
you wash your fuckin' floors with.
Fuckin' hell I'm telling ya.
But it's funny, it's really funny,
cause when you get them though.
You get them, you go to them,
you go, there's your fucking gram.
There's your fucking gram of charlie.
See how you enjoy it.
Give you the money,
they come back from the toilet and they go,
Fuck me, that is the best gear,
I've ever had in my fucking life.
- You know why?
(Nick) Why?
Cause they don't want to say
they paid fifty pound for nothing.
That's how fuckin' sad they are! Baaaah!
[nervous giggling]
Yeah.
(Phil) It's sad though innit?
The gear you got there though,
that little bit of cheese,
that is fucking class bollocks.
That's why I never have any,
like, you know what I mean.
Cause it will just fucking zonk me,
cause I'm an old geezer,
But, you, ohh you'll have a
fuckin' great laugh you will.
(Nick)
Yeah I like a bud.
Yeah, might fucking celebrate,
get your fuckin' haircut, you never know.
Or, Eyebrows plucked. No, Seriously.
(Nick)
Look at your hair!
Doesn't matter though,
cause see, you're the youngster,
you're the fuckin' buck aren't ya?
(Nick)
Eh?
I'm just the fucking old geezer
knocking around now, you know.
(Phil)
Or in your game mate.
Just. It just doesn't make sense to me Christy.
[Car radio][Chatshow]
Why would he lie?
It's left the business account, Monday.
(Cottrell)
Right.
It should have been in Giles account,
Wednesday, Thursday latest.
Right.
That's...that's all, y'know,
All I can tell you.
800 grand?
Do you think, I'm just gonna like,
skank you?
Christy I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I know it comes across like I don't believe ya,
that's not the case. That's not the case, babe.
I'm brave, but I'm not that brave.
No, I know, I know. I'm just...
It's got me paranoid.
I had a very good expression at one time,
I used to live by it.
Not so much now and
I'm wishing I hadn't dropped it.
There was an expression I used that,
There's very few people in this world I trust.
Yeah.
And I'm not one of them.
[car speeding past on tarmac]
[elevator door creaking open]
[footsteps scuffling]
[elevator button clicking]
[elevator door creaking shut & clanging]
[elevator hum]
(Phil) You alright?
(Nick) Yeah. [nervous breathing]
Sure?
[elevator creaking & rumbling]
[elevator banging][whistles to a halt]
[elevator door creaking open]
[Sleaford Mods singing - "Fizzy"][loud heavy bassline]
Let's go to work.
[footsteps on concrete floor]
Er, Tariq! This is a, good friend of mine, that's Nick.
[muffled][loud music through wall]
Guess what he does for a living?
You recognise the face at all?
- You know, he won't recognise me, man.
- He's a fuckin' actor!
Just only a little bit now and again, d'y know what I mean?
Nothing major, at all.
Tariq. [slaps thigh] How's it going then mate?
You alright? Everything sweet?
Not too bad yeah.
Good, that's good,
that's good, that's good.
Not too bad.
How you been? You been alright?
Yeah, yeah, I've been good.
Fag? D'y want a toe-rag?
Yeah go on then, there's one there.
- Can I have one? Thank you!
- Yeah, cool. You want one?
- Nick?
- I'm alright, thanks mate, I'm sound.
- Alright. There's one for you Tariq.
- Cheers.
There's one for me. Fuckin' hell!
- Everybody's happy. [lighter clips]
(Nick) That's it!
[loud music thumping through wall]
(Phil) Mmm. [lighter clicks]
Yeah everyone's in a good mood.
Nick's in a good Mick, ent you Nick?
[lighter clangs on table]
(Nick) I'm in a good mood.
- What brings you round anyway like?
- Uh?
- What brings you round?
Well, funny you say that mate,
funny you should that.
- Where's my dough?
- That 60 quid I owe you?
- Yeah, no, don't worry you'll have that by...
- [mutters] 70 actually.
You'll have that by tomorrow,
I've got that coming in.
- Tomorrow?
- Yeah mate.
Tomorrow?
Tomorrow never comes does it?
Yeah, it'll be here tomorrow.
Does tomorrow come, Nick?
Does tomorrow come?
I dunno mate.
[laughing nervously]
Just give me a ring tomorrow
and I should have the money.
Fuck! I'm in a fucking
awkward position now.
I have to leave this flat.
With the money.
Yeah?
Yeah.
So why don't you come back tomorrow,
I'll give you the money.
No-nonononononono-no!
Is it me, or am I going fucking mad?
I'm talking to you Nick?
Is it me, or am I going fucking mad?
I don't know what's happening here mate,
to be honest with ya.
- No, you don't do you?
- No, not at all.
Noo, right, hmm.
I have to leave the flat,
with this money and unless
you want me to stay overnight.
Cos then it'll be tomorrow.
I'm fucked en I? I'm fucked.
You'll have the money,
you'll have the money by tomorrow.
What the fuck we going to do?
[muffled][neighbours yelling]
(Phil)
Ah, fuck it!
(Tariq)
You're going to get your money tomorrow.
(Tariq) I'll have it...I'll have it here.
- You making me look like a cunt?
No! I'm not making
you look like a cunt!
I'm just sayin, you're going
to have the money tomorrow, jus..
Why d'y need? D'y need it now?
Desperately?
I need the fuckin' money. Tariq!
I need the money, in the next ten seconds.
[Sigh]
Count it down.
[overlapping]- Ten... nine
- Why d'y need the money so badly?
eight, seven, six, five,
four, three, two..
Where's the fucking money?
[deep breathing]
Give me my fucking money!
I haven't got the money now.
[Sigh] Look, I dunno,
I'll be able to get it tomorrow...
- I don't want to do this.
- You don't have to, I'm just saying...
- But I've got to do it now.
- Why you being all...?
Shut up!
Where d'y want it kitchen?
Where d'y want it hall?
D'y want it hall?
Kitchen? Kitchen? Hall?
[Tut][sigh]
Look, I'll have the money.
Nick, excuse us, just for a minute like...
[aggressive] C'mere!
[Whispering]
What's he saying?
Phil, he said tomorrow mate!
Just leave it till tomorrow!
(Phil)[aggressive][shouting] C'mere!
(Tariq) Listen to your mate.
(Phil) C'm!
(Tariq) What are you gonna fu...
[feet scuffling]
(Tariq) Look, I told you....
[scuffling][thud][Phil beating Tariq]
(Tariq) Awwww! Fuck! Ugh! You piece of shit!
(Phil) Don't you ever! Ever. Ever.
Ever do that to me again!
Ever!
(Tariq)
[coughing][heavy breathing]
(Tariq) Aw, you fucking bastard!
[deep breathing]
Let's fuck off.
[Nick Ellis playing "A Ballet of Midnights"]
[calm melodic wave][acoustic guitar]
[To cat]
Hello! Hello....
[To cat] Aww... You're really sweet.
[To Chloe] You alright?
(Christy) Come and see how you're doing.
(Chloe)[whispering] I'm okay.
D'y wanna talk about it?
[kissing noise] Mwah!
I'm gonna go to bed.
If you need me, just call me, alright?
[melodic acoustic guitar]
[dark drone beating]
(Phil) Alright son, I'll be in, in a minute, yeah.
(Chloe)&(Christy) [chatting & laughing]
[plastic bag crumpling]
[footsteps on laminate]
(Christy) Alright?
(Nick) Ey up.
(Chloe) Aww, lifesaver!
(Christy) Thank you.
(Phil) Hey Girls!
(Christy) Thank you very much, cheers, appreciate that.
That's alright, I got a little er... a little bit of dessert for us.
[plastic bag crumpling]
(Christy) Oh have ya? What you got?
(Phil) Bosh!
What's that, bit of charlie?
No it's not, it's extra strong mints.
What you do is like make it into a paste, yeah?
You taking the piss?
Get a clean needle, put it...
Nah, it's fuckin cr.. it's rock, it's fuckin' rock.
He's a joker, en he?
Well no, it's a treat for you.
You know, I barge in. The least I can do is...
- Cool.
- Yeah.
No problem.
- Nick!
(Nick) Yeah.
On duty!
Huh.
Rrr-roll 'em!
(Nick)[laughing]
heh heh heh.
Roll 'em, roll 'em, roll 'em!
Don't mind if I do.
(Phil) You can bong it, like, but if you bong it,
it's not so fucking good,
You just wanna fucking smoke it, you know.
You done it before?
What? Charlie?
Course I have!
(Phil) Yeah. You smoked rock before?
- Hmm.
Oh good girl, yeah I thought you had, yeah.
What about you? Cleo?
Chloe.
(Phil)
I've got a little pet name for her now, it's Cleo.
After eight glasses of wine, it's Cleo.
(Chloe)[laughs]
(Phil) No offence taken Miss Patra?
(Chloe)
Nooo.
Cleo-patra!
No, have a fuckin' smoke of that,
like that'll be good.
- That's my little contribution.
- Yeah?
- Seeing as you give me one glass of wine.
-[exhale of breath] Shhhuu
Yeah. One glass of wine.
That's about the fuckin' bullseye worth there.
But it's my treat, my treat, my treat...
(Chloe)
Thanks for the wine.
Oh you're welcome, more than welcome.
It's the least I can do.
It is the least I can do.
- Am I alright ripping yer packet for roach?
(Chloe) Yeaah.
Fuckin' hell, it's like a morgue here, en it?
Having a nice glass of wine
having a little bit of fuckin' smoke.
Been a long day mate, seriously.
Long day for you maybe?
Cleo? Long day?
- Long day?
(Chloe)[laughing] Every day's a long day.
Oh fuckin' hell,
she's depressive as well!
Give me a bit a rope and I'll fucking jump off a stool,
put it round me neck and that'd be end of that!
Do a little dance for us or something.
Come on entertain us!
- A what?
(Chloe)&(Christy)[laughing]
Do a little dance or something?
What like a dog?
(Christy)
No. Just yourself.
Or like a drunken dance then?
(Christy)[laughing]
Yeah.
Dance like me old man, sort of thing? Yeah...
Get that down you, you fucking need it,
I'm telling you!
(Christy)
I'm alright, thank you.
I'm not doing none of that.
(Phil)[mimicking Christy]
Nah-ugh-ugh. I ain't doing any of that!
- Nick?
- Eh?
(Phil)
What you doing son?
I'm doing it for you boss, it's coming!
[plastic bag rustles]
- Phil, it's going be did.
- Fuckin' 'ell!
Hell froze over, before we had our joint!
[chuckling]
So you bang on it then, are ya?
No, I ain't had none tonight like, no, but I mean,
well, my heads a bit, fuckin' rock like anyway, just...
- I've never done it like..
- That's your job... What's that Nick?
I've never it done like this.
How d'y mean?
I've never smoked rock like this.
I've never done it in a er...
[overlapping](Phil) What do you do the fuckin'...
(Christy) Tastes really...chemically.
You do the scumbag thing, do y?
Tastes like caramel, I think.
- D'y do the scumbag thing, Nick?
- Eh?
- D'y do the scumbag thing?
- What? Smack?
No sit in a fucking squat all day
and fucking inject and that.
No, no, no.
No exactly, you're not that kind of guy.
This is just a little fuckin' treat like.
I mean, y'know. And it's on me!
Fuckin' 'ell!
- Thank you. Thank you.
- I'm surprised at myself!
[Laughing]
Heh heh heh.
(Christy) No I'm alright.
- Do you smoke a lot of crack?
Nah, I fuckin' don't, it's fuckin'...
I tell you what, it is a buzz though!
It's worth just...
That's not crack is it?
(Phil) Yip, no, it's rock,
it's not crack-err-cocaine, it's rock.
No, if it's coke it's fine.
I ain't having crack in the house.
It's cokey, sort of coke-flavoured,
[laughing]
It's a rock for fuck-sake, you know that!
Here we go!
Now watch this Chloe,
cause you're next.
- You don't do it do you?
-[inhaling smoke]
Take it in.
Hold your breath.
Fuckin' hell, you look beautiful.
(Phil)
Fuckin' beautiful you look.
(Christy)[laughing]
Don't!...no way
Don't be trying to pull her, seriously, [laughing]
she's well out of your league, mate!
(Christy)[laughing] ha, ha, ha! [slaps back]
- Fucking 'ell
That is fucking the cheese,
that is fucking gear, man!
Chloe, if you don't, if you miss this, it's like
missing a fuckin' golden opportunity in your life!
(Christy) Oh I see you're a pusher,
look I'm your push..
(Phil)
You just take it, take it nicely, it's erotic...
Look into my eyes!
Look into my eyes!
(Phil)
Fuck off Christy!
Breath through your nose.
[sniffs]
(Phil) Yeah, through your nose.
- [loud sniff] sniff-sniff
(Phil)
That is fucking gear!
(Christy)
You done it before?
(Phil)
Woooah!
(Chloe) No.
(Phil)[laughing]
(Nick)
She's going to be off her fuckin' twat, mate!
[heavy breathing]
Etiquette, yeah. Give it to me!
Go fuck yourself Nick.
(Phil) Only a couple of puffs
so it lifts you out, lifts you out.
Takes you somewhere else.
(Christy)
What are you Jesus or something?
(Phil) Yeah at the moment.
- Yeah?
(Phil) Yeah, second coming.
- [laughing]
(Phil) That's what I feel like
fuckin' second coming,
right through me fucking prick, yeah.
Best innit mate?
You got the fuckin' shivers up ye?
[lips vibrating and exhaling]
Phh-whoah!
[under breath]
That's better isn't it.
(Nick)
Can I have a bit more?
Here y'are, give us it here.
[Breathy]
Here y'are son.
(Nick)
Cheers thank you
Make the most of it.
[exhales]
Fuck. How you feeling Chloe?
(Chloe) I'm alright, makes your throat a bit dry.
(Phil) Have a little puff for fuck-sake.
(Christy)
I'm alright.
(Christy)
I'm alright. I'm not sheep!
(Christy)[laughing]
Hahaha.
(Nick)
Have you done it before Christy?
Yeah, course I have.
I just need a clear mind,
do you know what I mean, at the moment.
(Phil)
Eh?
(Christy)
Just need to keep my head clear at the moment.
(Phil) Do you?
(Christy) Yeah.
Oh great, lucky you.
Busy at work and you know...
Chloe!
Look-into-my-eyes!
I'm going to play a game with you.
Do you want to live?
Or do you want to die?
Take that and you will live...
(Phil)
But they never really even saw it though, did they?
Like when the fucking thing come through the roof.
It's a fucking true story!
[laughing]
Chloe! That is a true story!
The thing come through the fucking roof!
Just going to go to the toilet.
(Phil)
Aww, I'm just about to get to the punchline.
[hysteric laughter]
(Christy)
No that's too unbelievable.
(Phil) I'll go with you shall I?
I'll go with you?
(Christy) Yeah I think sho...
(Phil) She's fucking a bit fucking unsteady ent she?
(Christy)
She alright?
(Phil) For fucksake, no she's not fucking alright.
What she doing on all fucking fours?
(Christy)
Chloe?
(Phil) Don't fucking pounce on her,
cause you'll shock her.
(Phil) I didn't give it her, she fucking volunteered to take it.
I didn't force it down her fucking throat.
(Christy) No, I know you never.
(Phil) She's alright!
(Christy)
Alright, can I deal with her please? Come on.
Make sure she doesn't drink a lot of fucking water.
I've seen this fucking before, don't get alarmed.
(Phil)
What do you expect from them?
(Christy)[frustrated]
Do you want to just go in the kitchen please?
(Phil) Look, I've fucking seen this soooo many...
(Christy) I can manage.
(Phil) I tell you what...
(Christy) Just go in the kit... you've done this to her.
(Phil)[laughing] I haven't done it to her, she did it to herself.
- Don't fucking laugh at me either.
(Phil) Look, look, I'm not laughing at you.
- She just needs to get upstairs and go to bed.
(Phil) Give her some more tomorrow and she'll fucking level out.
(Christy) Can you just go to the kitchen please!
(Phil) She'll level out. I can't.
(Christy) Just go downstairs please, I can handle this.
I don't know the way.
Just let her throw up, she'll be fucking fine.
(Christy) You gonna be sick love?
- Lovely arse!
(Christy) She's gonna be sick, just... fuck off!
Go downstairs and piss off!
I'll push you down the
fucking stairs, mate! Seriously.
You fucking would as well wouldn't ya?
(Christy) She's going to be sick,
have a bit of fucking respect!
I don't want to see her be sick,
she can be sick.
(Christy)
Well fucking piss off downstairs then!
- Make sure it's facing that way, when she's sick, yeah?
(Christy) Oh Shut up!
Old Mother Hubbard lived in a cupboard.
(Chloe)[wretching]
- There we go, it's out, that's what we want!
(Christy) Alright love.
- Get it out girl!
(Christy) Do y'mind just going downstairs please?
I can handle the situation.
- I can't. I can't go downstairs.
(Christy) Are you you fucking joking?
(Christy) You want to get off the fucking gear mate, seriously.
- I'm too fucking stoned.
- That's it, get it up girl.
(Chloe)[wretching]
(Christy) It's alright darlin'.
What the fuck have you give her?
It was fuckin', it was a bit of rock.
They always act like this the kids.
(Christy)
Yeah, no. You're a fucking div, mate.
I tell you what,
if you go to any playground,
you get the same fucking result...
(Christy)
D'y wanna just go downstairs, yeah?
I can't!
Please, seriously.
Come on, I just want to see she's alright.
- Give her water, give her water.
- You're not even funny.
Aaay!
We've all had a drink here, yeah?
We're all happy, fuckin' pull out the crack
and she's like this.
- Now fuck off downstairs, or fuck off out my house.
(Chloe)[wretching]
(Christy)
Come on love.
That's it, bring it up girl!
Bring it up girl!
(Christy) It's alright. Alright, come on.
(Chloe)[wretching]
Next time, chuck it up,
chuck it up next time.
(Christy)
Who's fucking?... You fucking prick.
- Just fucking talking.
(Chloe)[wretching]
(Christy) Not funny, mate.
- Free country.
(Christy)
Not at all.
Nick!
(Christy) What on earth have you give her?
- Nick!
(Christy) You know what I mean? It's alright darling...
- Come here!
(Nick) What? If she's being sick,
I can't be arsed!
(Phil) Was you sick the first time you
fucking took it? Crack? Err... Rock?
No I wasn't.
Eh? Oh he wasn't! Call the fucking ambulance!
err, Nick weren't sick!
(Christy) Excuse me, don't take the piss,
It's our house, yeah?
If you don't fucking like it, fuck off!
Tell him mate.
Can I walk up one more step?
(Christy) You've brought him into the house,
give her the fucking shit and she's thrown up, now fuck off!
- It's fucking normal! It's what teenagers do!
(Christy) I'm not fucking laughing.
Can you get a glass water then,
make yourself useful, please.
Uh?
Can you get a glass of water
and make yourself fucking useful.
(Nick) I'll get it. I'll get a glass of water.
- Nick's on the job for a glass of water.
- Goooo on girl! Throw it up!
(Christy) Shut up!
I'm just fucking, trying to help, you know.
(Christy) No, you're making it worse, seriously...
(Christy) You're making the situation worse...
- At least now she's a regular customer.
(Christy)
Oh shu..
[laughing]
That was a joke, don't fucking start.
Woo woo woo.
(Christy)
Not funny.
Fuckin', old Mother Hubbard slept in a cupboard.
That's the last time you're coming
round here, yeah mate?
Where am I?
(Christy)
Well fuck off.
Well, where the fuck am I?
(Christy)
You're fucking nowhere.
(Nick)
Can you give her that? Here you are.
(Phil) About fucking time! What is it?
Oh, here, pour this over her head.
(Phil) Pour that, cool her down, that will.
(Christy) Fucking joker. (Phil) No ice?
Don't fucking start
with a fucking thing like that, man!
(Christy)
Just fuck off then!
Aaay!
(Christy)
That's it darling, take a sip.
(Phil)[sighs]
(Christy) She's in a bad way, d'y know that?
She looks sexy in a bad way,
doesn't she?
(Christy)
Not even funny.
I fuckin need another fuckin hit!
(Nick)
Phil, Phil come down here...
Yeah, why don't you just go mate?
Can you get out my house actually?
- One more fucking hit quick.
(Christy) I make the fucking rules. Piss off.
(Phil)
One more hit quick!
(Christy) Seriously, I will push you down
these fucking stairs. Now get out!
(Nick) Leave her Christy!
(Phil) Christy!
Attention!
(Christy)
I'm not not leaving her.
It's almost like she had a bottle
of fucking brandy or something
(Christy) Shut up mate.
- In one go!
(Christy) Piss off!
- Yeah alright, we're pissing off.
Mmm-mmm, mmm.
[lighter flint whirrs & clicks]
[footsteps on wooden stairs]
Tell you what, you have fucking
let me down big time mate.
I'm sorry.
(Christy)
You should be sorry.
You have fucking well took the piss
that ain't even...
I shouldn't have even took you on.
[sighs]
Don't be like that. Really.
No, but you're on your fucking phone all the time
you're inviting people round.
What's it going to be like in two weeks
when there's fuck all money in your account?
(Christy)
Cause you ain't getting fuck-all mate.
I can't get rid of him, I can't rid of him.
You shouldn't have fucking brought him here
in the first place.
I didn't expect him to be like that,
I just wanted a smoke didn't I?
(Christy) Just wanted a smoke? He brought
fucking crack in the house, fucking Chloe up!
(Nick) I didn't know that he was going to be like that.
- Well you fucking should know, shouldn't ya?
- So I'm telling you.
(Nick) I'm sorry, what else can I say?
What you going to do if there's
fuck all money in your account?
What you going to do?
Cause you ain't getting fuckall.
(Christy)
You're going to fuck the situation up...
I didn't fucking mean to do it,
Christy, I'm sorry,
I didn't mean to bring that
fucking header in here, I swear to God.
(Christy) I shouldn't have brought you onboard mate.
Fucking joker.
You ain't got a clue how this game works,
have ya?
Yeah I do, actually.
(Christy) No you don't.
- Yeah I do.
(Christy)
What you done it before have ya?
Give it fucking Charlie big-balls
on your phone.
(Christy) Fuck this one up and
I will fucking fuck you up.
(Nick) There's nothing I can do, I'm sorry,
that's all I can say, I'm sorry.
(Christy) Right fuck off up to bed mate.
(Nick) I don't know what else to say.
(Christy)
Fucking tired of you.
[Nick Ellis playing "The Fisher-Bendix Tree"]
[acoustic guitar][harmonic tune]
And make this room a bit larger.
[Wooden door knocked & rattling]
Knock, knock lads.
How we doing?
(Giles)
Ahh! Gerry. Just the man!
Don't Gerry me.
Where's my money?
It's my money as well.
And nobody steals from me.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
Don't get the wrong end of the stick.
Now, I haven't received any money.
[Nick Ellis tune continues][guitar tune]
[hard knock at uPVC Door]
Thud, thud, thud
[metal gate squeaks open & clangs shut]
Sqqueaak. Clang.
Is he still there?
I dunno.
Can't see.
I think he's gone!
[doorbell rings]
Ding-dong
Wait a minute, what was that?
Was that the door?
[footsteps on wooden stairs]
Slow down mate!
The Estate Agent sent me.
I'm the Gasman.
[fridge humming]
[clock ticking]
[boiler clicks open]
Can you open all the windows please?
I'm going to have to shut this down,
I'm afraid.
Why?
(Danny) It's leaking,
[clearing throat] uh-hurr
Carbon Monoxide
a bit too much.
Can I open this back door as well, yeah?
(Chloe)&(Nick)
Yeah.
Has anyone been,
sort of like, dizzy?
Fell over or anything?
No.
(Danny)
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Cause like the levels that I've got here.
It's very dangerous.
I'm afraid you're not going to
have any hot water for a while.
But they told us everything was alright.
Yeah, well, I'm afraid it's not.
(Nick)
I think you're having us on, mate.
Your hav...
I'm having you on?
(Nick)
I think you're taking the piss out of us.
How can I be having you on mate?
Look, I'm gas accredited, right?
(Danny)
I'm not here for me own benefit.
I'm here for yours.
You'll have to keep the windows open.
Your best bet really,
is to put a jumper on, or a coat.
Who are you?
(Danny)
Now, I'm the gas man,
I was sent round by the Estate Agents
I'm afraid, I had to turn
all the gas off in here.
(Christy) No, no, no, no, no.
(Danny) It's leaking Carbon Monoxide.
It's for your benefit, not mine.
Who sent you round here, for one?
(Danny)
The Estate Agents!
Well, they didn't ring us,
have they rung, spoke to you?
No one spoke to us about it.
I've got the key, I let myself in.
- You what?
(Danny) Well I rung on the bell, no one answered.
You taking the piss?
(Danny) No one answered the door.
- He just let himself, walked in.
- I'm allowed to do that.
(Christy) Who give you the keys?
I have complete authority to do that.
(Christy) You have got no authority,
to come in this house with a set of keys
Look, look, that gives me.
That gives me the authority to do that.
I've got more authority than the Police.
[laughing] Shhhock,
is he a fucking joker?
- He is, he...
- Seriously!
No. That boiler's not being turned off.
(Christy)
What's the danger?
It's carbon monoxide.
(Christy) Have you, have you experienced any...
- It's a colourless, Odourless Gas that can kill you.
We're all fine here.
So it's absolutely fine.
(Danny) Has no one been dizzy?
- Would you put it back on?
Where's your bag?
Where's your tool bag?
(Danny) Has no one been dizzy or anything?
- Take your toolbag and piss off mate.
(Nick) Turn that gas on.
- Well it's off, it's off.
(Christy) Well stick it back on now.
- I can't.
I'm not joking with ya, seriously,
I just... stick that back on now.
That's like I've got a loaded gun in my pocket
and I'm killing you with it...
What you fucking? Talking shit mate.
(Christy) I'm ringing the estate agent,
cause you're taking the bloody piss, mate.
You want me to turn it?
I'll turn it back on...
Turn it back on now, seriously.
I'm not taking the piss,
put it back on and fuck off! Yeah?
- I don't... There's no need for the profanity.
(Christy) No I'm sorry, I don't mean to be aggressive mate,
(Christy)
I don't mean to be aggressive yeah?
It's freezing cold in here.
You've come into the house,
with a set of keys, and it's taking the piss.
No, you've let yourself in,
turn it on and fuck off!
(Christy) Joker, en he? I'm not fucking laughing.
[boiler clicks open]
- I'll turn it on, but...
(Christy) Yeah turn it on, please, thank you.
Well it's on, it's on.
(Christy)
There we go.
[Nick Ellis plays "Lawrence Road Breakdown"]
[harmonica][rhythmic repetitive tune]
[leather jacket rustles]
[sniggers]
[lift clangs]
[Nick Ellis tune continues]
[harmonica]
[car hums]
[low flying aircraft]
[Dog barking] Woof! woof-woof-woof.
[muffled]
I can't do it mate.
Fucking open it.
Fucking open it.
[door clinks & clanks open]
I can't really let you in boss.
(Phil)
My dad's dead.
It's my dad.
(Nick) Sorry Phil.
[metal door squeaks & clinks shut]
- What d'y'say?
- Me old man.
Me dad is fucking gone.
Died.
Fuck off.
[sobs]
How do you have your tea again?
One sugar?
Just come in here and have a cup of tea.
You'll be alright.
[sobbing]
No let's just stay here.
(Nick) Come on, just chill out here,
come in the living room,
Have a seat on the sofa.
[sobs]
(Nick)[despairing]
Oh fuck off!
I'm sorry for fucking everything
I've ever done, I'm sorry. [sobs]
(Nick)
Come on man.
[sobs]
(Nick)
Come on.
Fucking poor bastard,
never fucking lived a life.
(Nick) You can't just sit here in the fecking hallway,
get in the living room, come on.
[sobs]
[sighs]
Come on!
What a fucking shit I am.
[coat rustling against the wall]
[Nick Ellis singing "Blue Summer"]
[acoustic guitar music]
Out of the bars and into the rain.
[high heels clunk on laminate]
[Radio][Song continues]
Have you seen who's on the sofa?
- He's still on the sofa.
- Really?
- Yeah. We've got to get him out.
- Okay.
Can't have him here all day.
Can you get rid of him?
How?
Just wake him up.
I'll wake him up if you wanna.
But just wake him up.
Don't want him looking at none of the laptops,
I've got to go to the bank, alright?
Just make sure you get rid of him.
- Okay.
(Christy) Fucking pisstaker!
Wakey, wakey!
[Peter McNamara singing "Plastic Pieces of Charlotte"]
[electric guitar music]
[fridge hum]
[clock ticking]
[Radio][song continues]
[harsh smokers' cough]
[lighter flint whirrs & clicks]
[slippers scuff along laminate]
Morning Chloe.
(Chloe)
Morning.
[ceramic bowl clatters as taken out cupboard]
Plastic pieces of Charlotte
Dancing on the flames
Oh I, I haven't eaten any of them.
Put them back in the box if you want.
She leaves them everywhere
Pick them up as the clock chimes
[cornflakes rustling into ceramic bowl]
People on your sofa
[plastic rustling as pushed into cereal box]
[cupboard door gently thudding closed]
The one with the most wings and
ornamental day at the coast
[milk pouring over cornflakes]
Wouldn't you like to know,
where she lives
Where she stays.
You're not in a good mood.
Excuse me.
[cutlery clanks in drawer]
Where she meets us above her waterpool post.
She went through fields without her dress
She kissed bees when depressed
But through all this I loved her
You know she never even liked me
Charlotte is camp as you and me
but now left for Japan.
[muttering]
She's not in a good mood.
[haunting Xylophone chimes]
So you'll be back soon, yeah?
Okay, see you later. Bye!
[haunting Xylophone chimes]
[dark bass]
Are you sure it was her car?
It was definitely her car.
Definitely her car.
Could be my money as well.
Money's gone somewhere.
[haunting Xylophone chimes]
I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad.
There's no words is there, really?
Yeah.
Do y'want...?
Do y'want a cup of tea or anything?
Er, yeah, cup of tea yeah.
Do you have sugar?
No, no sugar.
Alright mate.
[high heel steps on laminate]
[Radio][Sleaford Mods singing "Showboat"]
[muffled chattering]
(Phil & Nick)[from living room]
Mine's a bitter if you want mate.
Mine's a bitter every day.
[muffled chattering & laughing](Phil & Nick)[living room]
I ain't a showboat
Chloe?
but you are
and I'll die spitting greenies
in your face
Chloe!
I heard the rule was move to London
You alright darling?
I ain't a showboat
but you are
(Christy)
Chloe?
You alright love?
Do you wanna talk?
What's up?
You know I've been to the banks today
everything's all sorted.
I've had a really good day.
Something's up.
(Christy)
Please Chloe, tell me now.
I need to know, seriously.
Has he done something to you?
Come on love.
You know can talk to me about anything.
(Chloe)
[whimpering]
Right, I'm fucking finding him.
So let me get this right.
Right, you're saying two women,
Wigs, and golf clubs.
(Christy)
What have you said to Chloe?
Excuse me, What've you said to Chloe?
Huh?
Nothing?
Chloe's upstairs, upset and you've
obviously said something to her
I wanna know what.
(Christy)
Seriously.
Chloe?
(Christy)
Yeah, she's upset.
Why?
She ain't coming down here,
cause you're down here.
So you've upset her somehow
and I wanna know.
- I ain't seen Chloe...
- I wanna know now.
I haven't seen Chloe since last night.
(Christy) Well, whatever you said to her
last night, you've upset her.
I ain't having it.
(Christy) I know your dad's died and all that.
But put that aside for one minute.
(Nick) What's Chloe's saying?
(Christy) What the fucks going on?
(Nick) What's up with her?
(Phil) What's she saying?
She's not said nothing.
She's just said she's not coming down
here until you've gone and that...
Is it about the fucking crack?
(Christy)
I don't know what it's about.
I'm asking you what it's about?
I'm asking, you, why she's upset?
I dunno.
Well something's gone on.
(Phil) She still ill?
- She ain't making it up.
Yeah she's in bed.
- She ill?
(Christy) She's upset.
(Christy) Well she's upset.
- Well I'll give it to her again.
No you fucking won't, cause you
won't be coming round again.
Nick's brought you in to this house.
Not me.
You're not a friend of mine and you're
not a fucking friend of Chloe's alright?
The fucking sooner you get that message, the better!
[doorbell rings]
Ding-dong
(Christy)
Who the fuck is that now?
Fuckin' hell!
[Door clatters open]
Hello?
(Steve)
Where's Phil?
Phil?
(Steve)
Phil!
(Phil)
Steve! Steve!
(Christy)
Sorry, but this is my house,
I don't know you.
Y'know what I mean?
(Phil) Yeah I know.
(Steve) This is out of order alright.
(Phil) Steve. Steve!
(Steve) This is out of order.
(Steve) What is this place? What am I doing here?
(Phil) Steve. Steve? Steve!
(Christy) Jokers!
- Shut the fuck up. Just...
- Look behave yourselves alright?
(Christy) Can I have a word in the kitchen a minute?
(Steve) Boys sit over there.
(Phil) Just sit over there boys.
You're fine there.
(Steve)
You put me right in it.
Alright?
I thought you was coming round
and then fucking leaving.
Who is she?
She's a fucking mad woman!
She's a fucking dyke from fucking hell!
I'm sorry Steve.
Mate, you know my rules,
I don't like being out like this.
I know.
I don't know where this place is,
I don't know who she is.
Steve, all I can do,
is say sorry to you, mate.
Say sorry to you about
this fucking one, alright?
You owe me, alright.
I know, I know.
You've got the fucking
"saucepans" with you. ["kids"]
Put that on the fucking table son,
have you still got it, yeah?
- It's all there.
- Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve. Relax.
Mate. No I won't fucking relax.
You put me in it.
I've got my boys with me.
I haven't put you in it, I haven't put
you in it, you'll be fucking fine.
That's the last time.
I don't know.
- That's taking the fucking piss, seriously.
- I don't know who it is.
Who are the kids?
Bring the kids here?
I don't fucking know, he just came in here,
I don't know who it is, or what's going on.
This ain't a fucking party,
do y'know what I mean?
- Look. I just want to get out of here.
- Alright.
- Sort it out.
- Yeah.
Know what I mean?
[doorbell rings]
Ding-dong
Who the fuck is that now?
[footsteps stomping on laminate]
(Phil)
Er, Christy, Christy.
Excuse me, excuse me, my house.
My rules.
- I know, I know.
- It's my door.
[door clanging open]
(Christy) Hello?
(Phil) Er-er-er, this is Adam.
He's just a friend of mine,
just fucking popped round.
(Christy)[angry]
Alright Adam, come in.
Come in Adam. We're having a party.
D'y know what I mean? Come in!
(Christy) Got kids! Everything!
Join the crowd.
Christy he's a friend of mine
I just couldn't fucking have them at my place...
(Christy)
Well they're all friends of yours.
[overlapping](Phil) We're only going be a moment.
(Christy) You're forgetting your place mate.
(Christy) Know what I mean? Alright, no problem.
(Phil) Don't do the silly hands.
Cool. You crack on.
Fucking liberty, seriously.
Who the fucks he think he is?
Who the fucks he think he is?
(Christy)[muffled]
In my house.
(Nick)[muffled]
He'll be gone soon, won't he.
(Christy)[muffled]
Yeah, they will be.
[muffled]
Feel like a stranger in my own home,
[muffled]
Pushed into the kitchen or something, by him.
(Nick)[muffled]
[mumbles]
(Christy)[muffled]
But pushed into here, know what I mean?
(Christy)
Fucking...
[footsteps stomping]
[metal door squeaks open]
[metal door handle falls off door]
Clang-clang!
(Christy) Oh go on! Break the whole
fucking door, why don't ya?
(Christy) No you fuck off, go on!
(Phil)[mumbling]
(Christy)
Fucking taken enough of that,
D'y know what I mean? Seriously.
You're a fucking joker you are.
[door slams shut]
(Phil)
[mumbling]
What?
You're fucking mumbling mate,
I can't fucking hear ya.
Got my dad's body in my fucking head.
Don't try fucking play
the fucking sympathy card with me
cause it won't fucking wash mate.
[metal door thuds closed]
I'm sorry about your dad, alright?
but that's no excuse to bring fucking people,
Tom, Dick and Harry round, alright?
(Christy) My fucking rules and I'm telling ya,
I don't want... Excuse me?
-[underbreath] Go fuck yourself.
- There's kids in there,
you wanna fucking keep the noise down.
- [underbreath] Go fuck yourself.
(Christy) Oh piss off!
Woah! Hey!
I think I've pulled!
It's funny innit?
How do I get rid of him?
[exhalation]
Cha.
[inhales cigarette]
What am I gonna do?
You brought him here,
you get him out.
- I dunno how to get him...
- Get a bit of...
He'll just fucking
smash my teeth in, won't he?
Get some backbone!
Jesus Christ!
[door clangs open]
(Phil) Alright, ta-da boys.
You take care of your granny.
Alright. Leave it the rest of the day.
Steve. Steve?
Take it easy, yeah?
Steve?
- Yeah mate.
- Still friends?
Yeah, alright mate.
[Peter McNamara singing "Waiting"]
[electric guitar and drums]
Oooh yeah.
Alright.
Sock it to me, sock it to me.
[doorbell rings] Ding-dong
Yeaaaaah
I'm waiting
I'm waiting here for you.
Deceiving ah-ah wave of something new.
Come and start me up again,
let me play my chance again
I'm still alone.
Sure I need to apologise,
just to start my new device
and I'm still alone.
[electric guitar riff]
[finger clicks]
I don't know what the fucks gone on, mate.
Ooh yeah.
[Radio][music continues]
[muffled]
Uh uh uh,
I'm coming on quite strong
others, others, others,
when they sing their song
[footsteps clumping]
(Christy) Alright?
(Phil) Yeah.
(Christy) Shop closed is it?
- Yeah?
(Phil) Yeah.
- Yeah?
(Phil) Yeah.
How d'y do? Made a packet,
I bet, today didn't ya?
I fucking wished,
I fucking wished.
(Christy)
Plenty of people round, loads of goodies sold.
Drinks on you eh?
I'd buy you a fucking drink any day.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Aww, that's nice of you.
[muttering] Fucking hell, I live on the 11th floor
of a fucking tower block
and the fucking next door neighbours,
like, bang-bang-bang-bang bang!
They'd be fucking nicked. I just...
So it's alright at my house though yeah?
- That's alright? (Phil) Well.
- What about my neighbours?
(Phil) Yeah, but Nick.
- Come on.
Nick made me feel sort of
welcome, sort of thing.
Yeah, Nick's made you feel welcome.
This ain't Nick's house.
(Phil) I know, I know.
- Nick lives here, yeah?
(Phil) Yeah I know.
- In and out! People in and out!
Y'know?
I know.
If I wanted to serve up I'd do it myself,
I'd make my own money here, wouldn't I?
I go to work, I work hard,
I come home, I want a clean house.
I don't want strangers in it.
Don't want drug deals going on.
(Phil)
It ain't a drug deal.
- One bag, it was just a bit of smoke.
- Oh come on. The bag was full mate.
The bags empty. Come on!
It won't be in the house again,
I promise you that,
I fucking promise you that,
it won't be in the house again.
Nick sort of led me to believe
that maybe you, wouldn't...
- mind.
(Christy) Well, I'll be having a word with Nick.
- You will?
(Christy) Well if he's...
- It's not his fault though, it's not his fault.
(Christy) Well...
It's someone's fault.
It ain't my fault.
Or maybe it is?
Anyway, I don't know.
- It's done now, it's done innit.
- Yeah, yeah. Alright, well, I'm off to bed.
(Phil)
Fuckin' yeah.
Just,
another day, en it, another day.
(Phil) Alright girl.
- So, you're off yeah?
Well I've got to see Nick en I?
It's alright if I fucking just,
like relax here for a while en it?
Yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah.
What with me fuckin old man and that.
No, I'm so... I really am sorry about that.
I really am.
Fucking buried him last fucking Tuesday.
[awkward]
No that's just, just...
Put him in a really fucking small box, like.
Was a heavy man.
Weird, fucking weird.
I ain't giving you a headfuck about it, like.
(Phil)
Strange!
Alright. Night yeah?
Yeah.
[laminate creaking]
[footsteps]
Goodnight Christy.
[hum & pulsing beat]
[car rumbling]
[creepy Xylophone music]
[dark hum & pulsing beat]
[forboding]
[footsteps on wooden stairs]
Chloe!
Chloooo-e!
(Christy) What you?
- Chloeee!!
What you think you're up to?
She's sleeping in there.
- Get your fucking hands off me!
- Get off!
- Shut your fucking mouth up.
- Get off me now!
- You're a fucking bitch.
- Fuck you!
(Christy)&(Chloe) Argh! Go!
(Phil)Fucking bitch!
(Christy)[shouting] I'm ringing the fucking police.
Get out of my house! Now!
(Phil)
Aay! The girls are running!
The girls are running!
Fucking bitchface fucking cunts!
[cackling] Hahaha!
[door bangs shut]
(Christy)
Lock it, lock it, lock it!
[key bouncing in the keyhole]
[key clunking locking the door]
(Christy)
Fucking nut job!
I'm the ringing the police, now fuck off!
[sarcastic] Are you going to call the police yeah?
You going to call the police?
Please don't Christy,
Christy don't call the fucking police,
that'll really upset me.
[laughing] ph-ph-ph.
Fuck off Phil! Do one mate.
(Phil)
Nick!
You've got a fucking beer down here.
Nice glass of fucking wine and a fag.
(Christy)[muffled]
Just go. Please!
Nicky?
(Nick)[muffled]
Fuck off Phil, do one mate!
[angrily] Nicky!
[head thudding wooden door]
Just fucking leave me alone!
(Nick)
What's going on here?
[pathetically]
Nick?
I'm sorry mate!
Chloe!
Christy! I'm sorry!
What the fuck is he doing, man?
Just go home Phil, you fuckin header!
Go home mate!
(Phil)[muffled]
Aaaa-agh!
The Police are on their way anyway,
so you crack on!
[childish]
Please don't call the police.
Not the old bill!
Not the boys in blue!
[cackling]
heh heh hahahaha.
(Nick)
Just go out there and kick his fucking head in.
(Chloe) He's gone mad!
He's gone completely fucking mad!
We'd do him. All three of us would.
I know what they're fucking saying
and that's fucking strange,
but I know what they're fucking saying.
No let's just stay in here.
I've got, fucking, something,
Whack him over the head with.
No, no-no-no-no.
Use a razor, I've got razor blades innit.
- He's fucked.
- Slash his fucking face in.
(Nick)[muffled]
We ain't coming out of here now, are we?
[muffled]
So why don't you just fuck off home?
(Phil)[muffled]
Are you offering me a lift?
Just leave it will ya?
Just fuck off!
Just leave us alone!
I'm so fucking sorry.
So fucking sorry.
I didn't want this to happen to you!
Like the last time and all that,
it was like the last time.
I don't want to fucking kill you.
I don't want to kill you, but I fucking will.
I have to.
[gasping]
They trusted me!
Everyone fucking trusted me!
Arggggh!
Fucking gone.
- Just stay here tonight just stay here.
- Yeah.
[body thudding down stairs]
[urban garden]
[robin singing]
[door clangs shut]
[stairs creaking]
[urban garden]
[hum of distant cars]
[footsteps on wooden stairs]
[urban garden]
[dark hum]
[urban garden]
[fridge hum]
- Alright?
- I fucked up last night, didn't I?
(Christy) Big time.
- I know. Fucking.
Just sometimes you know, it just fucking goes.
You took the fucking piss mate, in my house.
I know I did and I'm sorry about that.
I was out of order.
(Christy) Why was you going to Chloe's room?
- Uh?
- Why was you going to Chloe's room?
- I didn't go in there in the end.
(Christy)
So you ain't been in there before then?
No. I just wanted to make sure she was alright.
(Christy)
So you ain't done fuck all to Chloe then?
No. I done fuck all to Chloe, that's right.
What you just said then, I done fuck all to Chloe.
You sure about that?
Yeah. I got to fuck off en I?
I think you better mate.
(Phil) We can do this easily,
you know that don't ya?
(Christy)
Really?
- Yeah. Very easily.
(Christy) Yeah?
How much cash you got in the fucking house?
- Ain't got no cash.
(Phil) I know you fucking have.
(Christy) Really?
- Little bird told me.
Really?
What you want me to give you money?
You think I'm a fucking mug?
(Christy)
No.
I think you're a fucking pisshead mate.
(Phil)
I'll go. I'll fuck off and go.
To the tune of... It's quite simple.
There's a way out for both of us here.
(Phil)
You give me twenty grand and I'll fuck off.
You blackmailing me?
No. I'm not blackmailing you,
but you know, there's a certain family,
in North London, that'd love to
fucking catch up with you girl.
(Christy)
Yeah?
Yeah. You think I'm a fucking pisshead?
You think I'm a fucking dodgy one?
Yeah.
(Phil)
You don't know you're fucking born.
20 grand gone, bang!
[clicks fingers] Everyone's happy.
Alright.
I'll get you 20 grand.
- You are a sensible girl aren't you eh?
(Christy) Yeah.
- You are a fucking sensible girl.
- Cool. 20 grand. Not a problem.
Fucking say fuck all though.
(Phil) I won't.
- Alright.
- You'll never see me again.
(Christy) Cool.
- You'll never see them again.
- Alright.
- Done.
- Cool.
- Want a cup of tea?
(Phil) Price of a cup of tea?
(Christy) Price of a cup of tea.
- Fucking deal.
- Cool.
(Phil) No sugar.
Alright darling.
[high heels clunk on laminate]
[dark hum]
[kettle boiling]
[lid clicks open on bleach]
[ceramic cup clanks on wooden top]
[lid screws shut]
[dark hum]
[footsteps scuff on laminate]
- You alright mate?
- Hello son.
- You alright?
- Yeah. Are you?
(Phil) Yeah. Bit of a mad one,
weren't it, last night?
Yeah, it was a bit mental actually Phil.
(Phil)
Yeah I know, these things happen!
Here we go darling.
(Phil)
Ah lovely sweetheart. Thank you sooo much!
Want a cup of tea?
(Nick)
Yes please.
What did you do Chloe, like?
(Phil)
Huh?
What did you do Chloe?
Oh Chloe, no, no...
I knocked at her door or something I think,
I was a bit fucking out it weren't I?
But I apologised to everyone.
(Nick)
Yeah, everyone's a bit shit up
actually Phil.
Huh?
(Nick)
Everyone was a bit shit up actually.
That's me.
Oh it was only a laugh weren't it though?
These things happen don't they I suppose?
[plastic bag tearing]
[kettle boiling]
Anyway, today's going to be a good day.
[chortling] uh-huh.
Today's going to be a very good day.
(Phil)[rubbing hands together]
- Are you going to go home Phil?
(Phil) Huh?
Are you going to go home?
(Phil)
Yeah, of course, I fucking am, what's fucking?
How long you going to stay round here for?
(Phil) Eh?
- How long are you staying round here for?
- What in the house you mean?
(Nick) Yeah.
[muttering]
I don't fucking know, what's it got to do with you?
(Nick)
Just taking the piss a bit I think.
(Phil)[Scoffs]
I'll be gone out of your life soon, mate.
(Phil) Don't worry about that.
- Mmm
(Phil)
A fucking puff of smoke.
You going to put a time on it Phil, cause, um...
You're making things a bit edgy in the house.
Sorry wh..
(Nick)
Are you going to fuck off?
Cause you're making things
a bit edgy in the house.
Am I gonna fuck off?
(Nick)
Yeah, are you gonna go?
I'll have my cup of tea
and then I will go.
Thank you very much,
I just think it would be for the best.
(Phil)
What happened to you?
You've taken the piss mate,
you've took the piss for fucking ages!
I will drink my tea that
Christy's made me and I will go.
And you'll never see me...
again.
[dark tone]
(Christy) There we go darling.
(Nick) Thank you.
(Christy)
What's up? You not drinking your tea?
Just let it, let it cool down a bit.
[muttering]
Drink my tea?
[gulps tea]
[cup clangs on wooden table]
[coughing]
[thudding hands on laminate]
[hacking coughing]
[choking]
[cacophony of coughing and yelling]
(Christy) Fucking, see you, you fucking...
(Phil)[coughing]
(Christy)
I should fuckin... argh!
(Phil)[gargling]
You fucking whore! I'll fucking do you!
[Thud]
(Phil)
Neaarrrrggggh!
[crumpling bin liners]
(Christy) Fucking prick!
[out of breath][heavy breathing]
[Nick Ellis singing "She Devil Woman"]
[double bass & acoustic guitar][Blues music]
She's got you under her sign,
she's got you in her sights
Take one look and you're hypnotised
[jigsaw whirring]
Leather and laces and boots to her thighs
Leaves you spellbound up in rapture
when you're tied up tight.
With a witchcraft woman
[water running]
[fire crackling]
A she-devil woman
A whip-crack woman
Such a ya-ya woman
Do the dance of desire with the queen of the night
In the face! So we're the last thing
he sees before he dies. Fucking do him!
No!
She's your mistress and lady,
your Herrin from hell
your secret that you keep
and now you best not tell.
With a witchcraft woman
Such a she-devil woman
A whip-crack woman
Such a ya-ya woman
She's got you under her spell.
Baby.
Under moonless skies
Well you're better off out of it
and staying alive
she'll have you dancing like a fire
on a solstice night
head in a wedge,
she'll have you locked in a box
She'll having you howling on your knees
to let the poison stop.
With a witchcraft woman.
Such a she-devil woman.
A whip-crack woman.
Such a ya-ya woman.
She-devil woman
[Peter McNamara singing
"East End War Dance"]
One, two, three, four.
[electric Guitar]
[rhythmic tune]
Well it's hard to go home
with no blanket, hold tight
Yeah it's hard to go home
with no gas pilot to light.
Yeah it's hard to go home
but you do
and pay it's the law
Well you're a big chief team,
Lets you think the game is funny,
You're a bigger gun than hit and run
You're crazy for the money
You're brown bread in the head
You're running from a ditch
Double scotch, cold podge,
Leave you feeling rich.
[electric guitar][tom-toms beating]
Yeah it's hard to go home
when the money's so tight.
Well yeah, it's hard to go home
with no one else in your sight
So you run and you run
and you run and you run
and you fall in the road.
You're a mega chief team
Lets you think the game is funny
You're big gun, hit and run
You're crazy for the dough
You're a brown bread in the head
You're sticking in a ditch
You're double scotch
and a gold watch
and feeling kind of rich.
[electric guitar]
[tom-toms beating]
[music fades]
Keeps on Burning Films]