It's me, hon.
Listen, I'm in a hell
of a bind here.
I got more problems
than I could deal with on my own.
I need you to come on over.
For Pete's sake, it's nothing
I'd care to discuss over the phone.
Would you just
get yourself over here?
It's a fine day today, folks.
It's 1931 --
since our great state of Texas
declared its independence.
And, boy, I got some Texas tunes
to play for you today.
This is 97.9 Country,
coming at you
like a rattlesnake.
Lorna.
I came as soon
as I hung up the phone.
Oh.
For heaven's sake,
whatever's happened
to Dale?
Dale's fine.
I just knocked him over the head
with Mama's cast-iron skillet-
nothing a bag of ice
can't take care of.
Jesus, Lorna.
What did you go
and do that for?
I was just trying
to have a polite conversation
between two married
individuals,
but you know Dale.
You can't have a civil debate with
the man without things turning ugly.
Well, Dale was never one for polite
conversation, that's for damn sure.
Forget about Dale.
I got more pressing matters on my plate
than his bruised head.
What's going on?
It's a wild story, Tiny--
a real wild story.
You ain't gonna believe it.
No, you know me, Lorna.
I believe in stories-
probably why I get myself
into so much trouble.
You hear about this?
- The bank robbery down in Red County?
- Mm-hmm.
It's been all over the news
what happened two days ago.
The police is out still looking
for who done it.
You can't turn on the damn TV
without hearing something about it.
A man wearing a stocking
over his head
just waltzed into
Waldorf Savings & Loan,
tossed a bag on the counter,
pointed a revolver
at the cashier and said,
"Good morning there.
It's your time to shine.
Fill the satchel, hit the floor,
and all will be well."
I heard a heck of a lot of money
has gone missing.
$100,000, all cash.
I didn't think there was that kind of
money in the whole state of Texas,
never mind a bank
in Red County.
- Go ahead, have one of mine.
- Mm-mm, those things will kill you.
Them light cigarettes
you smoke
will kill you just the same,
only slower.
Don't hound me
for trying to buy
a little bit of extra time
on this earth
in case something worthwhile
comes up.
Now tell me about
this great robbery.
I know who went and done it.
You what?
I know who done it, Tiny.
It seems that Dale here
forgot to make me privy
of certain unsavory activities
in the last few days.
You mean Dale
gone and robbed that bank?
That's exactly what I mean.
Lorna, just because a man
held up a convenience store
a couple of times
in his more wild and woolly days
don't mean he's a bank robber.
- Five.
- Five?
He robbed five
convenience stores.
It was high time he graduated
to something bigger.
How are you so sure
he done it?
You know why they call it
Red County?
Why?
On account of the iron ore
in the soil,
makes all the dirt red
down there.
Lorna, now he could have
picked up that dirt from anywhere.
Tiny, the soles of them boots are redder
than an Indian'-s face in the sun.
That is Red County soil,
that's for damn sure.
And Dale's got no business
in Red County,
not to mention
that I only got me
one good pair of hose,
and they're nowhere
to be found.
He went and took his wife's own hose.
Can you believe the nerves
of that man?
He probably expects
I was never gonna find out.
God, if dumb was dirt,
Dale would cover
about an acre.
So I called me Mr. Gale
down at Gale & Sons-
you know, where he works selling
them modular kitchen cabinets.
You know what
Mr. Gale tells me?
I hope you enjoy
Gardendale, Lorna.
Gardendale?
That's near Lamar County.
Seems like Dale here
filed for a transfer
two days ago.
He what?
Mm-hmm.
Ain't that a hoot?
Figured he'd skip town without
so much as raising an eyebrow.
It don't take much
to flee to Mexico from there.
- Son of a bitch.
- Yeah, my sentiments exactly.
$100.000. Tiny--
that is a hell of a lot
of money.
And he wasn't gonna share
a penny of it.
What are you gonna do
about it?
I figured I'd rather split that money
with a good friend
than let that thieving dog of a husband
get away with it.
I ain't gonna sit here
and disagree with that.
- But one thing.
- What's that?
Where's the money?
That's what I'm fixing
to find out.
What the hell?
Welcome back, hon.
Oh, what's going on?
Sorry, Dale, but we got
pressing matters to discuss
and I need the benefit
of restraints.
You know how you can get.
You get me out of here
right this minute,
or I swear I will kick in every single
one of your teeth one at a time, Lorna.
No need to get
confrontational now, Dale.
I need you to talk
and I need you to be composed.
I will give you composed.
What did I tell you?
- Not gonna give it up without a fight.
- Mm-mm.
What the hell is she
doing here?
I needed a friend.
When you find out that the man that you
love is nothing but a rattling snake,
sometimes a friend
is all you got.
Amen, Lorna.
What are the two of you
on about?
We're talking about the great robbery
in Red County.
What, you didn't think
I was gonna find out?
I--
- Ask him where's the money.
- Where's the money, Dale?
Wh-- what money?
The $100,000 in cash
you confiscated
from the Waldorf Savings & Loan.
I don't know nothing about
no Waldorf Savings & Loan.
You didn't know about the string
of convenience store robberies neither
- three years ago.
- That's right.
Like hell you didn't.
You even went and robbed
Ophenius Dunn's
feed warehouse, Dale.
That was Mama's
second husband.
Did you think he wasn't gonna
identify you?
Well, I did not expect
his identification of me
on account
he wears trifocals.
I did my three years.
I paid my debt to society.
God damn you, Dale.
You promised me.
You looked me straight in the eye
and you gave me your word
you were done with your criminal ways.
I am.
That's a fact.
I ain't in the business
of getting in trouble no more.
I'm straight as a duck
with two good wings.
Is that right?
Cross my heart
and hope to die.
Nothing but the joy
of modular cabinetry
to keep me
righteously occupied.
Well, then you'll gladly tell me
what that is
on the soles of your boots.
What?
Do you know why they call it
Red County, Dale?
No.
On account of the iron ore
in the soil.
Iron ore in the soil?
Ho-ho! Whoo!
You sure got a hell of
a fervent imagination, Lorna.
Did I imagine this?
Where in hell did you get
a peashooter like that?
I got it where I get all the things
you're trying to hide from me--
underneath the floorboard
in the bathroom.
I've never seen that before
in my life.
You're lying.
What would you
base that statement on?
On the fact that you never tell
nothing but lies.
You was lying before you learned
how to talk.
Nothing but the pure gospel truth
ever passed these lips.
So you're telling me
that you don't know nothing
about no robbery.
I know nothing about
the robbery.
And you ain't never seen
this gun before?
Yes, ma'am.
For crying out loud,
where are my nerve tablets?
What are you looking at?
You got your mama's legs.
Mama's got
real pretty legs.
They're long and white
like Milkybars.
Mm, I always did want
to bed your mama.
- God damn you, Dale.
- I'm an honest man.
I swear to God,
if you have got
the slightest shine for your life,
I suggest you tell me
where that money is,
as I will not be responsible
for my ensuing ways.
- Now wait just a minute.
- What?
- You can't shoot him.
- Why the hell not?
We are talking about
a lot of money here, Tiny.
Right.
And Dale here
is one hell
of a pertinacious individual.
Come on now.
He's gonna need a lot of coaxing
to get that information out of him.
Lorna, I guess he is
your husband.
You go ahead and shoot him.
It ain't none of my business.
Oh, wait.
No need to turn
belligerent now.
You ready to talk
like civilized folks?
You know me--
nothing but civilized.
Honey, you scared me.
- You stole that money.
- I did not take that money.
- Damn it.
- Argh! I took that money.
Damn it, Dale, why the hell
did you go and do that for?
It's in my blood.
I can't seem to stay away
from institutions
that contain any significant amount
of legal tender.
Oh, Jesus.
But I was gonna tell you all about it
when the time was right.
Oh, and when would that be?
When you're good and gone?
You never had a lick of confidence
in me, Lorna.
That's what I'm talking about.
That's one of my beefs.
I just figured a woman didn't need
to trouble her pretty little head
with financial matters.
And I-- I-- I was working on it.
That's a man's job anyway.
You just let good old Dale
take care of the details,
and it will all work out
just dandy.
Nothing ever works out just dandy
when you're concerned, Dale.
I admit the whims of fate
have plotted against me in the past,
but I sense the winds
of good fortune
are finally blowing
my merry way.
To hell with your winds, Dale.
All I care about is that money.
Now where is it?
A safe place.
Just get these restraints off me
and I'll take you right to it.
I'll tell you everything.
Oh, not a chance in hell.
Well, we're gonna have
to cooperate on this one, Lorna.
It is a tit for tat here.
He's not gonna talk.
No, I don't think he is.
You're gonna have to
shoot him again.
- I think I just might.
- Now hang on there.
If there is one thing I learned
from being married to you for 17 years,
it's that I know you
like the back of my hand.
Wait a minute.
I figured out
you stole that money.
Oh.
And I can figure out where you hid it,
with or without your help.
What? What? What?
Oh, I don't believe it.
What?
It's right here
in this house, ain't it?
- No, it's not.
- The money's here?
No, it's not.
Oh, my God.
Leave it to Dale.
Who would be foolish enough
to leave the stolen money
right here
in his own domicile?
It's not here, I swear to God
and all the angels.
What did I tell you, Tiny?
I married a lying, cheating-
Shit.
Lorna.
Yeah?
Did you just go and kill Dale?
I do believe I just did.
Oh, my God, Lorna.
Oh, my God.
L-- I-- I-- I didn't know
what happened.
I was just
holding the gun like--
Well, Jesus, just put it down,
will you?
L-- I didn't mean to do it.
I just get so worked up
about all this business.
- The gun just went off.
- Holy Jesus.
Dale's dead.
Well, I can see that
for myself, Tiny.
Oh, my God, Lorna,
you went and killed Dale.
Okay.
And now for something
really special.
All right now.
- Okay.
- Wh--? Wh--?
What's done is done.
Everything is gonna be
just fine.
We gotta keep our
heads together.
That's nice.
That's all better.
Now this is no time
to be losing our wit.
We got ourselves
a dead body here.
What are we supposed to do?
Well, I don't know, Tiny.
I've never dealt
with a dead body before.
I thought you might,
because you're the one that killed him.
Well, it was an accident.
We've got a hell of a situation
on our hands here, Lorna.
Oh, Jesus.
L-- I--
I can't stand for him to stare
at me like that.
- Would you do something?
- Me?
I think I got something.
Uh...
This ought to do it.
Here.
No. What do you want me
to do with that?
Put it over his head,
would you?
You do it.
You-- you just wait a minute.
I can't stand him
staring at me like that.
- Well, then why don't you do it?
- Because I shot him.
You gotta put the bag
over his head.
My God, can I have
a little bit of help here?
Do I have to do
everything myself?!
Ugh.
Well, that's a bit better.
Better?
Lorna, that bag
does not hide the fact
that there's a dead man
underneath it!
Oh.
I never graduated high school
or nothing.
Just give me a moment
to think.
What the hell do you think
you're doing?
I'm gonna call the police.
Are you out of your mind?
It was an accident.
The gun just went off.
Tiny, we are in Texas.
There are no accidents.
There's alive and there's dead.
You didn't mean to kill him.
Who's gonna believe that?
We got a dead man tied to a chair
and $100,000 missing.
We're gonna look real good in court
explaining that story.
We? What do you mean, we?
I didn't kill nobody.
You think they'd care
to split that hair?
You was here when it happened,
and that's all they need to know
to lock us both away
for a real long time.
Well, you think it was
self-defense of some kind?
Well, I ain't no officer of the law
or nothing,
but we got a man
tied to a chair.
He don't seem to pose
no immediate threat, now do he?
Jesus Christ, Tiny.
I don't know nothing
about no self-defense.
It could be first-degree murder,
for all we know.
Look, that money
is here somewhere.
We got a whole new life
to look forward to.
I am not gonna spend it in a goddamn
cell, I can promise you that.
You know,
I remember hearing a story
growing up.
What story?
My daddy worked the oil fields
in Houston
before he moved out here.
Well, it was a while back.
He'd just started out
as afield landsman
when one of the wells
he was working on
just went and blew up.
Three men was buried alive.
They tried like hell
to get them out.
Daddy said
he could hear them
crying for help down there
the first day.
But by the second day,
they didn't hear
a darn thing stirring.
They figured
they'd dig them out
and give them
a proper burial, right?
But when they
got to them,
there wasn't much left
to do anything proper with.
What happened?
Bugs.
Bugs?
Them Texas bugs
done got to them.
No kidding.
Oh, yeah.
Them Texas bugs can eat
right through a metal can
if there's something tasty
to get inside at.
They got jaws
like lawn mowers.
They just up and left
nothing behind.
I never knew
bugs could do that.
Such is the wonderment-s
of nature, Tiny.
So you're thinking...
I'm thinking.
What if we was to bury Dale
out there like them oil riggers?
- Go on.
- Chances are,
no one would ever find him
in any recognizable form.
I mean, it's a big stretch
of desert out there.
Full of all types
of carnivorous critters.
Right. Earth to earth,
dust to dust and all that.
- That ain't a hell of a bad idea.
- Mm-hmm.
But it's gonna have to wait.
Why?
Because we gotta find us
that money.
And I figure that we don't got
a lot of time.
Mm-hmm, lingering love
Well, well, won't let me be
Mm-hmm, lingering love...
Watch yourself.
Dale was afraid of rats.
There's rat traps
all over this goddamn place.
Lingering love
Just won't let me be
Well, my baby, she's gone,
but my love lingers on
And on and on and on
Linger-linger-lingering love
Just won't let me be
Well, my baby, she's gone,
but my love lingers on
And on and on and on
Mountains tall
and desert wide
Where can I run, baby,
where can I hide?
Love for my baby
won't behave
I guess it's gonna follow me
to my grave
Linger-linger-lingering love
Just won't let me be
Well, my baby,
she's gone
But my love
lingers on and on
Lingers on and on.
- Hope you're having a fine...
- Ain't nothing but rat traps in there.
Keep looking.
And now a great tune
to make your day even better.
How are you so sure
the money is even here?
'Cause I know Dale.
The money's here. I'm sure of it.
$100.000.
I can't even imagine
what that might look like.
Yeah, it's more money than this town
has ever seen, that's for damn sure.
You ever think about
what you'd do with that kind of money?
I'd get the hell out of this place,
for one.
Anyplace you ever thought
about going?
I never really thought
about it.
I guess I figured
I'd never really get out of here.
Getting out of this town
is all I ever think about.
You know, I hear
Odessa can be really nice
if you know
your way around.
Hmm.
Sounds like we got company.
Holy shit, Tiny. It's the law.
How did they get here
so quick?
Oh, who else but Dale
would hold up a bank
and hide out in their own home
with all the evidence.
I told you it was just
a matter of time
before they suspected
I was married to a bona fide fool.
What are we gonna do?
Shit.
Come on, this way.
Just you push and I pull.
Come on now.
Oh, God.
Push.
Oh, you got it.
Oh, God.
That's good.
Okay.
I didn't know they decomposed
so quickly.
Ugh. All right.
- Clean that up a little bit.
- Okay.
Oh, jeez. Hurry up.
How do I look?
- Blood.
- Oh, God.
Shit.
Good morning, Sheriff Cooley.
Good morning, Lorna.
What can I do for you?
Looks like you're having yourselves
a little event.
No event, Sheriff.
Just a good friend of mine
stopped by
to pay a little visit.
Oh. Mind if I ask
what's the special occasion?
Two friends don't need
a special occasion
to share a little chat
and some homemade lemonade.
Last I checked,
fraternizing ain't against the law.
Is there something
I could help you with today, Sheriff?
Yeah, is Dale around?
No. Dale's out.
Is that right?
I'm pretty sure that's his
station wagon right over here.
Well, he didn't drive
his car today.
As a matter of fact,
Dale decided
to go for a little walk
to clear his mind.
A bit hot for a walk, ain't it?
You know Dale, Sheriff.
He likes to do
as he please.
What do you need to see
my dear husband about?
Did you perchance hear about
that holdup down in Red County?
Mm, the great robbery?
The one.
It's all over the news.
First thing that came to mind
when I heard about it
was paying Dale here
a visit--
you know, with his flagrant
predisposition for thievery.
You're barking up
the wrong tree, Sheriff.
Dale has long abandoned
his criminal ways
for the gratifying world
of modular cabinet sales.
Yes, so I've heard.
And how are things
down at Gale & Sons?
Well, business has been
a little slow,
as a matter of fact,
not a lot of demand
for modular cabinetry of late.
About that lemonade-
I sure could use a glass.
Not really a good time, Sheriff.
We're having a bit
of a girls' day.
Don't want to spoil it
by dwelling
on Dale's past delinquent
transgressions.
This won't take long. I'll just
have myself a glass of lemonade,
take a little peek around.
Sheriff Cooley,
if there's nothing I learned
from Dale's past
scrapes with the law,
it's that you need yourself
some kind of exigent circumstance
to come into my premises
without a warrant.
And as far as I can tell,
I don't see none.
Well now, I guess
I'm gonna be hard-pressed
to get myself
a search warrant, then.
I hear Judge Wallace likes to go
hunting this time of year.
You know Judge Wallace?
I spent more time with that man
than my own husband
during all them court appearances
a few years back--
a hell of a fine man
with a real love
for the great outdoors.
Mama's third husband goes hunting
with him sometimes in Lamar County.
You really got the heart
to cut short
the judge's hunting trip
just to get that warrant?
Judge Wallace is gonna have to
make do.
Well then,
I guess you'll visit again
once you get your warrant.
I'm just gonna be waiting here till
I get that search warrant in my hands.
Oh.
What the hell
is he doing?
Soon you'll be good and done
with all of this, old fella.
Yes, you will.
We gotta keep
our head on straight.
We don't got much time.
How long you figure
before they get him that warrant?
Well, I don't know.
A day, a few hours.
What I do know is Dale can't be here
when he comes back.
Well, let's just bury him somewhere
and let them bugs get at him.
- Holy Christ, Tiny.
- What?
Well, the circumstances
have changed.
That was a good plan before,
but it ain't a good plan now.
We got a sheriff out there
who's watching us
as we speak.
What are we supposed to do, just
waltz a dead body right under his nose?
You're right.
You're right. The situation
has downright thickened.
Let's just make a run for it.
Let's just get in the car,
drive like hell
before anybody
finds out anything.
Are you out of your
little mind?
How long do you think
before they catch up with us?
It's all fine and dandy if you're up
for one of them high-speed car chases,
but I for one am not about
to try to outrun
an army of police cars
in your run-down Pacer.
The damn thing needs
a whole new transmission.
I've been meaning to take it
to the mechanic and--
Oh, for God's sake, Tiny!
Now is not the time to be talking about
no automobile maintenance.
I was just trying
to be helpful, Lorna.
Well, there's no need
to get hostile.
We just need to find ourselves
a sensible solution here.
Well, what do you suggest?
Hmm.
Say we was able
to make Dale disappear
without so much as ever
leaving the house?
When Cooley come back here
with his warrant,
he walk around
and he don't find nothing-
no Dale, no money-
what is he gonna think?
Go on.
He's gonna think
that Dale is good and gone...
took the money with him,
leaving poor old Lorna behind.
A perfectly sensible assumption,
knowing Dale.
Cooley'd be out there
chasing a man that don't exist.
It's gonna take him
a long while
before he
figures anything out,
if he ever do.
Meanwhile...
Meanwhile, we find that money
and as soon as they
look the other way...
We run like hell and just buy ourselves
a whole brand-new life.
You catch on pretty fast.
I like where you're going
with this.
- But--
- But?
Damn it, Lorna,
how do we make Dale disappear?
That there is the pickle.
I think I just
figured out a way.
- How?
- You ain't gonna like it, Tiny.
Try me.
Oh, you ain't gonna
like it one bit.
Lorna, if you have a way
out of this stickler,
I would appreciate
you letting me in on it.
Well,
you know how I fancy myself
a pretty efficient housewife
when the need arises?
Last Thanksgiving,
Dale's folks was planning
to head on over
to Farwell County
for that $6.99 buffet special
at the Rose of Texas motel.
They get as far as Odessa
when they was hit by a dust storm.
The highway patrol
closed all the roads.
They said the cows was being
picked clean off the fields
and flown up in the air
like little old blackbirds.
It was a hell of a storm.
So at the last minute
they decide they're having
Thanksgiving dinner with us.
Some folks have
no manners to speak of.
Please, that is Dale's kin for you.
And you know
how his mama can get.
That woman-- all she ever do
is criticize me.
So...
I had just a few hours
to scrub this place clean,
get rid of all the clutter.
I mean, it was no fancy Rose of Texas
motel or nothing,
but God damn it,
I had the house clean
and I had a 70-pound turkey
with all the fixings
on that table by 9:00.
Now
a woman has got a number
of tools at her disposal
to get things
squared away in no time.
Take this electric
carving knife, for instance,
with an ergonomic handle
for easy maneuvering
and a 12-inch
stainless-steel blade
to cut through
the toughest of bones.
I can't picture this turkey's bones
being any tougher
than a 70-pound bird.
I mean, the man had no spine,
for God's sake.
You're not suggesting...
That's exactly
what I'm suggesting.
You're thinking of
cutting Dale up?
Well, I never took
no science class or nothing,
but I figure the smaller
the pieces,
the easier it will be
to get rid of them.
With a turkey knife?
Well, Tiny, if we wasn't
in such a tad of a hurry,
I would like to do things
with a bit more finesse.
But we are dealing with
time constraints here.
Look,
we'll get Dale
good and disappeared
in a jiffy,
leaving not a trace of him,
like the man never existed.
Are you aware
that just a squirt
of rust remover
can eat through
just about anything?
Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
Well, can you think of any other way
to get through this mess? I can't.
Well, hell, Lorna,
he's your husband.
If you want to cut him up,
that's fine by me.
But I ain't cutting up no man
into little pieces.
I suppose the good Lord
would want me to take care
of this can of worms myself.
I really think He would.
On the other hand,
I don't think the good Lord
would mind too much
if I asked my best friend to help me out
here, due to the circumstances.
For heaven's sake, Lorna,
I ain't cutting up no man
into little pieces.
The man sure liked
a sharp pair of boots.
He knew
how to wear them too.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, Tiny, I can't do this.
- You what?
- I can't do it. I can't do it, Tiny.
I loved the man.
I know he was a son of a bitch
sometimes,
but I swear to God
I loved him.
Don't go soft on me now, Lorna.
Oh, my God, how could I have gone
and done such a terrible thing?
- He got me roses sometimes.
- Lorna.
He'd bring them.
And he could be so sweet.
Lorna, just pull yourself
together now, honey.
- What have I done?
- Just pull yourself together, Lorna.
Just pull it together.
Now is not the time to be reminiscing.
We've got a job to do.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, my God, can
You ever forgive me?
Oh, for Pete's sake.
Oh, God.
He was so sweet.
Oh, God.
God damn it, Lorna,
stop that whining!
Now if we don't clean this up
in a hurry,
we're gonna get into
all sorts of trouble.
He called me
his little yellow rose.
And I was his sweet
desert rose.
And I loved him the most.
I really did. Oh, God.
Just give me that knife.
He was so nice to me
when he wasn't being a shit.
Oh, my God.
Hell of a good time
we're having, huh?
Dale, can you ever
forgive me? Please forgive me.
Oh, God.
Well, butter my ass
and call me a biscuit.
Where did you learn how to work
an electronical device like that?
Shop class.
- Shop class?
- Yeah.
Remember last July
when I was laid off
from work?
I had nothing to do
but sit in front of a busted fan
and drink Wild Turkey all day.
I went and took shop class.
What on earth did you go
and take a shop class for?
I guess I always kind of liked
cutting stuff up.
Apparently so.
Now what?
The Crown blender,
model 15D,
will easily grind ice
without burnout
using a revolutionary
regular interval
pulsation technique.
That's right.
Would you look at that?
Huh.
Is it supposed to be
moving around like that?
- Oh.
- Oh, Lord.
Oh, Lord.
- Oh.
- Stop it.
Oh, jeez.
Oh, Jesus Christ,
look at my ceiling.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Tell me you love me
Until the end of time
Tell me your love is mine
Tell me lies
Tell me lies
Tell me you want me
Forever and a day...
That's all you have to say
Tell me lies
The fool inside
Will believe the lie
My heart knows isn't true
But this lonely fool
Will fool the heart
To spend one night
with you...
Tell me you need me
More than I'm needing you
Make me believe it's true
Tell me lies...
Well, I'll be damned.
I've been after Dale to fix this thing
for months.
I can't believe
he actually did it.
Just like Dale to leave things
halfway done.
Don't he know a woman
need her appliances
in good working order?
Shit.
I'll use your lies
As a fool's disguise
And my heart will never...
What else
we got to clean up?
Know...
A hell of a whole lot, Lorna.
You'll love me
Until the end of time...
Why don't we just burn
this son of a bitch?
Tell me lies.
How are things going
down at the Blue Iguana?
Mm, busy as a beehive.
Rose quit in May and they still
haven't found her replacement.
I'm working every Saturday.
I guess that cuts into
your social life.
Mm, I've managed.
I bet you have.
Jesus.
Go get something
to put out this hellfire.
Oh, God.
Hurry LIP-
If my heart had my memory
It would surely stop
Loving you
Remembering how much
it hurts
Each time you break it
In two
If my heart only...
Are you all right, Tiny?
No.
Lorna.
I am not all right.
I haven't been all right
since you up and killed Dale.
Look at this place.
Look at us.
Well...
it's nothing a good bar of soap
can't clean up.
Soap?
We're gonna need
a little bit more than soap
to clean up this mess.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Earl, God damn it.
You scared the shit
out of me.
I swear to God,
Dale loves that dog
as if it's his own
flesh and blood.
Earl, stop.
You're gonna track this mess
all over this house.
My God, get out of here.
He seized Dale's hand.
Good.
I hope he comes back
and cleans up the rest of this mess.
What the hell have you got to be
so mirthful about?
Oh, God, Tiny,
you should see yourself.
You look like hell.
Well, you just look dandy
yourself.
Does this blood
making me look fat?
God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, shoot.
Oh, hell, Lorna,
I don't know how we're gonna
get out of this,
but it's been good
knowing you.
It sure has been
a wild ride.
I'll be damned.
This place looks like it's seen
the Second Battle of Bull Run.
Hey. Ah.
Ah, don't try
to be too smart.
Women don't fare too well
when they try to be smart.
Man, my papa always told me
the good Lord never meant
for women
to have idle time
on their hands-
cause nothing
but trouble.
Well, you gals have caused
your fair share here.
Damn, there's more blood
spilled in here
than there's water
in the Rio Grande.
What the hell are you
doing here?
You know him?
Oh, yeah, she knows me
just fine.
Ain't that right, Lorna?
And I know you too.
Are you surprised?
Allow me to introduce myself.
My name is Maurice Doucette
and I know things.
Yeah, I know, for instance,
your name is Tillie Belle,
but they call you Tiny on account
you so goddamn skinny.
Yeah, you like to smoke
light cigarettes.
You like your Jack Daniels
with a Coke back.
You work Mondays, Tuesdays
and Wednesdays
at the Blue Iguana Bar
on Main Street.
Past few weeks, you've been
behind the bar on Saturdays too,
till about midnight, I believe.
Yeah, am I forgetting something?
Oh, yeah.
You like to paint your toenails
flame red.
Very nice.
How do you know
all that?
Mm, how I know it
is not as important
as why I know it.
Ain't that right, Lorna?
What in Sam Hill
is he talking about?
Oh.
Oh, you two gals got a lot
of catching up to do.
And you're gonna have
all the time in the world
once I'm
out of your hair, okay?
That is, of course,
after I get what I come for.
And what would that be?
Oh, Lorna,
you disappoint me.
I thought you hired me
because you heard
of my reputation.
I mean, you know I am
pretty darn good at what I do,
like finding out things.
I mean, that's why folks
call on Maurice Doucette,
P.I.
But I must admit I'm surprised
how things turned out here.
God damn.
I mean, knowing what I know, I expected
a whole different state of affairs.
See, I thought maybe
one of you
or, hell, even both of you
would be dead,
and Dale would be on his merry way
out to Mexico.
Instead there's poor old Dale.
He's deader than
Chief Billy Bowlegs
out of the Third Seminole War,
while you two gals are just
having the time of your lives.
Damn, I never could
understand women.
Why is he saying
that you hired him?
'Cause I did.
That's right.
She did.
She hired the darn best
private investigator in the country.
Ain't that right?
Why would you hire
a private investigator?
To catch that son of a bitch Dale
cheating on me.
Yeah, and I did too.
I caught the fornicating husband
right in the act.
I mean, like I said,
I am the best.
I always knew
he was a cheating dog.
I guess I just needed
an official confirmation.
Well, I'm glad
I could be of service.
Well, you was.
Now you can leave.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
My job here is not quite done.
No.
You really think I was gonna let
this little robbery business slide
and just collect my $200 fee
and disappear? Huh?
What are you talking about?
Oh, I'm talking
about dear old Dale
making away with $100,000
of Red County money.
Shoot.
That's a lot of dough.
I like dough.
It buys me nice clothes.
I like nice clothes.
Well, that's just dandy.
What, did he go and rob that bank
right under your nose?
No. Not quite, no.
No, I didn't add it all up
until I saw the paper this morning.
Then it all made
a whole lot of sense.
- What did?
- Hell, when you spend all your time
following a man around
day in and day out,
you get to know a few things
about the fella.
And after I read
about the robbery,
I put all the pieces together.
Yeah, Dale served two years
at Lovelady State
for armed robbery.
The man used
a Smith & Wesson Model 29
with custom-made
Rio Rosewood grip
for all the holdups.
That's the same gun
described in the paper.
And that's the same one
right here.
And then
there are the boots.
- Boots?
- Oh, yeah, that's right.
See, I'm a fine
boot connoisseur myself.
I can appreciate a fine specimen
of custom-made footwear when I see it.
And the first time I laid eyes
on Dale's boots
I knew I'd never seen
a pair like that before.
What do Dale's boots
gotta do with the robbery?
Ah, well, allow me
to elucidate.
Now I visited
the Waldorf Savings & Loan
after I read about the deed.
Yeah, and I made nice
with the teller.
He's an old-timer.
He's as proud as a parade
to be a part of the great robbery.
And he says to me
that he was just standing at his window
when this highwayman
just waltzed right up to him
and demanded the money.
He says the man acted
like he owned the world
and, hell, wearing a pair of boots
like he was wearing,
he might as well have.
So I asked him,
"What about the boots?"
And he tells me
the man was wearing
the nicest footwear
he's seen this side of Abilene--
a great pair.
A full-quill ostrich vamp
with a smooth,
hand-stitched bovine leg.
One-of-a-kind footwear
and a Rio Rosewood grip
revolver.
Now it's not every day
you see a man commit armed robbery
sporting his favorite duds.
God damn it, Dale.
That is, of course,
unless he was busy with less--
now how shall I say this?
--Savory activities.
Ain't that right, Tiny?
I don't know
what you're talking about.
You don't need to keep
playing dumb, Tiny.
I know you was
screwing Dale.
He didn't surprise me.
But you--
I didn't know
you'd stoop that low.
We've been friends for a lifetime.
Shame on you.
I swear, Lorna,
I didn't so much as touch the man.
Oh, you did a lot more
than touch him.
Oh, yeah, after your shift
at the Blue Iguana,
you two was fornicating
like bunnies.
Go on, tell her
what you done.
She ain't lying.
No.
See, I got some pretty
revealing photographs
of you two lovebirds
getting intimately acquainted
in the backseat
of Dale's car
parked right out
behind the Blue Iguana-
hell of a classy spectacle.
How did you--?
What, how did I suspect?
Dale never smoked nothing
but them stinky cigarettes
that smelled like hell.
And guess what I found
in the ashtray of his car?
What?
Light cigarettes.
Shit.
Dale never smoked them
light cigarettes in his life.
- Lots of folks smoke lights.
- Oh, yeah?
And how many of them
work at the Blue Iguana?
You left clues
all over Dale's car.
Oh, but then I found me
one hell of an incriminating
evidence.
Ooh, this here is the real doozy.
- A flirting flip hair clip.
- Oh.
It comes free with that
odious hair spray you use-
what was it? Colossal spray.
How does that ditty go?
Colossal hair spray
More hold, less fray.
It must have come off atone of them
passionate rendezvous of yours.
What, did you think
I wasn't gonna find out?
I seen the way
he'd look at you.
Oh.
Hell, Lorna,
I don't know
how it happened.
Oh, you don't know how
it happened?
Well, I'll tell you
how it happened.
You couldn't just go and beguile
any man on this earth.
It had to be mine.
Dale wasn't much to look at,
but he was my husband.
I thought we was best friends.
We are.
That don't change.
Like hell it don't.
What about the money?
What about what you said
about us finding that money
and then splitting it?
Was you lying?
- Was you?
- All right, enough.
Now you'll have all the time
in the world to have it out
once I'm good and gone,
but let's get at what I'm here for.
The money, God damn it.
Where's the money?
The money, God damn it.
Where's the money?
- See what you did?
- What I did?
If you'd have trusted me,
we wouldn't be in this predicament.
Oh, trusted you?
I mean, you could have
just asked me about it.
Ask you about
screwing my husband?
Well, we sure wouldn't be in this mess
that we are right now.
How was I supposed to know
that he was gonna up and rob a bank
in the middle
of this investigation?
Well, he's your husband. Aren't wives
supposed to know these things?
Will you two just
shut the hell up?
God, I've had it up to here
with your female chatter.
It's enough to drive
a perfectly sane man fruity.
Do you mind?
We are trying to have
a meaningful conversation here.
Well, you're gonna have that
meaningful conversation in hell
if you don't tell me
where that money is.
Do you think I'm stupid?
What are you talking about?
There's a sheriff's car
parked right outside there.
You so much as breathe funny,
and Sheriff Cooley will be at that door
faster than a fly
on horseshit.
Well, no need to get hostile.
We don't know where the money is.
Tell him, Lorna.
- She's telling the truth for once.
- We have turned this place
inside and out.
We haven't found a damn thing.
I could have sworn
Dale hid the money in here.
She said she knew him
like the back of her hand.
I guess the wife's always
the last to know.
I don't believe you
for a minute.
Why would we be lying?
Because you're women.
It comes natural.
Now one of you two damn squaws
knows more than you're letting on.
I just haven't figured out
which one it is yet.
What are you
going on about?
God damn it!
Drop the dumb act.
I know how it played out.
Now I know for a fact
that Dale
jumped into the passenger seat
of that getaway car when he evaded.
Huh? Yeah, that's right-
the passenger seat.
The bank teller swore to it.
And last time I checked, we wasn't one
of them British Commonwealth countries.
No, sir, we do our driving
on the left out here,
the way God intended.
So that means that somebody else
was driving that car
when the thieving went down.
And I figure one of you two beauties
is a coconspirator.
You was in on this
since the beginning.
All right, but all I did
was drive the car.
I mean, I borrowed Rose's Corvair
so the law wouldn't be on our tracks.
I can't believe my ears.
Well, Dale said he'd make it
worth my while if I just helped him out.
Instead he was just planning
to make a run for it
without saying
so much as a goodbye.
What is so goddamn funny?
He went and double-crossed
you too.
That's what you get
for leaving an adulterous dog
in charge of the money.
He just went
and promised me the moon.
Oh, and you believed him?
He was two-timing his own wife.
My God, you're dumber than I thought.
Shut up. Shut up.
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
Shut up! Shut up!
Shut up!
Lookie here,
you folks are really interesting
company, all right?
And I would just love to stay
and hear more
about the joys
of holy matrimony
and the rewards
of true friendship,
but I'm in a tad
of a scramble.
I want the money!
I don't give a hoot
what you have to do,
but you produce the cash
or I will shoot you both dead
right here, right now,
swear to God.
- Wait a second.
- What?
I just thought of a place
we ain't looked.
Where?
Well, it's a bit of a tight fit.
I don't think he could stash
nothing down there.
Well, no, I bet-- I wouldn't be
surprised if he put it there.
In fact, nothing about this
whole goddamn affair
could possibly
surprise me anymore.
Go ahead, lead the way.
Where does it go?
Outside.
I can hear the rats scampering
between the walls at night.
Give us a screwdriver,
will you?
Nah, I'll do the honors.
Now you're liable to have
a gun stashed in there.
Aren't you the clever one?
My daddy always said
trusting women is like
petting a rattler
and hoping he don't bite.
Goddamn mousetrap!
God damn it.
Oh, God.
Oh, God. God.
God damn you.
My daddy warned me.
Figure it was self-defense?
Absolutely.
I concur.
I'll drink to that.
Here you go.
Oh, son of a bitch!
Damn it.
You know what I think?
What?
You had no intention
of splitting nothing
with me 50/50.
That's what I think.
You knew I was screwing Dale
behind your back,
and if I know anything
about you, Lorna,
you ain't exactly
the forgiving type.
I think you was gonna take
all that money
and just run.
And you know
what else I think?
I think you know
where the money is.
You're right.
I do know
where that money is.
You do?
Sure.
Why don't you just
lower them guns?
And we'll have
a good talk about it.
You think I'm stupid?
Well, Tiny,
intellectual fancy
has never really been
your oyster.
Well, then please
impress me
with your acumen.
Where is the money?!
Easy-peasy.
Did you happen to notice
anything peculiar
about my dear old husband's
fingernails this morning?
Can't say I ever paid Dale's fingernails
no never mind. Why?
Well, if you had,
you would have realized there was
all sorts of dirt under them.
Dirt?
Did you ever notice
my daisies outside?
Yeah. What about them?
Do you think
it's easy to grow
prizewinning daisies
in this vicious heat?
I don't know.
Well, let me tell you,
you need a green thumb
and a perfect combination
of potting soil
to grow those flowers
out there.
It ain't no coincidence
I was Miss Flower Fingers
of Clark County
two years in a row.
Too much manure
and you got
disease specimens
growing all kinds of lint.
You ever see a lazy daisy leaf
defaced by honey fungus?
I can't say I ever have.
Tiny, I hope you never do.
It is a sight
you won't easily forget.
God damn it, Lorna!
We ain't talking about
just dirt here.
We are talking
equal parts humus
and manure
and a whole hell of a lot
of charcoal.
It's as black
as a burned-out spark plug
and it smells like hell.
I'd recognize my special blend
of soil anywhere.
And Dale's fingernails
was covered in it.
That's right.
That money is just
sitting out there
underneath my lazy daisies.
You knew where the money was
the whole time?
Sure.
As soon as I figured it out,
I didn't need Dale alive anymore,
so I put a bullet in his head.
You what?
You heard me.
I shot the son of a bitch
like a dog.
It weren't no accident.
I wanted him dead
as soon as I heard about you two.
You murdered Dale?
O" P'-"pose?
Well, hell,
even a good woman's got
a breaking point.
To tell the truth,
I wanted to put a bullet
through your stupid little brain
the second you walked
through that door.
But that would have spoiled
all the fun.
Fun?
What fun?
To watch you cut your bastard lover
up with a turkey knife.
What?
You crazy bitch!
Oh.
Oh, I should have known
you was after something.
Dale always said
you was like a kettle
that's just been on the stove
for too long.
Sooner or later
you was gonna blow up.
Well,
that bullet should have come to him
as no surprise, then.
Oh, for Pete's sake,
would you look at this?
God damn it, Dale-
on my favorite rug.
All that man ever do
is create a mess.
God damn it, Lorna!
The law is right outside
that door.
We have got Dale parts
all over this place
and I'm pointing
two revolvers at you.
How do you think you're gonna
get out of this one, huh?
Well, I just thought
of something
just a little moment ago.
I haven't worked out
the details or nothing,
but I think
it's gonna have to do.
Well, for Pete's sake,
what?
Oh.
Hmm.
No hard feelings, Tiny.
It's just the way
the world works sometimes.
Some folks lose
so other folks can win.
I'll bet she's making
Lots of wedding plans
So sure
she's found herself
That special man
She's gonna
find herself alone
And crying like me
You'll break her heart
The way that
you've broken mine
Without a second thought
or care
She's gonna be the next girl
standing in line
Of fools that have
Your shame to bear
No need to try to warn her
Of this fate
That look upon her says
that it's too late
Only tomorrow will know
If she's crying like me...
Hello.
Step on it with that warrant,
will you?
We're on our way, Sheriff.
You're listening
to 97.9 Country.
It's how you lie to me
When I'm too blind to see
And how you use
The love I give you
So carelessly
It's words you never say
And feelings
you don't repay
In case you're wondering
That's how you're killing me
It's how you're
no longer there
On nights we used to share
It's all the ways you find
To show me
You no longer care
It's how you stole from me...
The love that used to be
A broken heart
Can't beat
That's how you're killing me
It's how you always
Seem to notice
Someone else'-s eyes...
And how you turn away...
It's vows
that once were made
And how they
just seemed to fade
I know I've lost you
And that's how
you're killing me
It's how you're
no longer there
On nights we used
to share...
It's all the ways
You find to show me
You no longer care...
Let's go.
Wait right here.
I got the warrant.
Open the door.
Open the goddamn door!
Fine. I'm coming in.
Put down your weapon!
She drew on me.
- Oh, my God.
- What the hell happened in here?
Looks like the handiwork
of the devil himself.
I've been witness to a bloody
occurrence or two
in my time
as Clark County Sheriff.
Ed Crawford four years ago
killed his wife with a hammer,
ripped her eyes out,
threw them in the garbage disposal,
said she was
looking at him funny.
It was a bloody mess.
But this--
I ain't never seen nothing like this
as long as I lived.
I'm glad I put in
for an early retirement.
A man's got to know
when to throw in the towel.
How many
do you reckon dead, Sheriff?
Hell if I know, Deputy.
I assume this is Dale
or some part of the man.
How about that?
Well, maybe that's him too.
Yeah, this one here is
right about done.
It's one heck of a mess.
What do you figure?
She's done all the killing?
I don't assume we'll ever know
what the hell went on here,
but she was definitely
the last one standing.
It's hard to believe.
She's so dainty-looking.
Money is one hell
of a motivator, Deputy.
Where do you figure
the money went?
The $100,000 from the robbery
has got to be somewhere.
Yeah, it's blood money.
Better it stays where it is and don't
cause no more problems to nobody.
Well, any chance
the money's in here somewhere?
Looks to me that somebody
already went looking.
This place is all tore up.
Ugh.
I got a finger here, Sheriff.
"To Lorna.
Love, Dale."
You reckon that's the wife's?
Well, that's Lorna, all right.
What's left of her.
Boy, what a way to go, huh?
Well,
may God keep her
in His magnificent grace.
Amen.
Well, there's gotta be
people that do this.
Yeah, yeah, well, it's not
us, believe me. I've just had it.
Who's gonna give them
a proper burial?
I don't give a damn!
Good God, let somebody else
clean it up.
Poor devils.
Wouldn't want to be
in their boots.
That's one hell of a mess
they got left to sort out.
That's one hell of a mess.
- Oh, my Lord.
- Yeah.
If ever there was
the right time to bow out...
How are you doing there, Sheriff?
You ever think
you'd see me again?
We could have sworn
you was dead, Lorna.
Well, I'm glad to hear that I have
you folks thinking the worst.
I suggest you get that gun
away from my head.
Why don't you
make me, Sheriff?
I know better
than to ruffle a woman
with a weapon in her hand.
Well, that's one thing
you learned
that Dale never did.
Yeah!
I've got something
to show you.
How do you like my do?
A real looker.
How did you like
the little surprise
I left for the Clark County
Sheriff's Department?
You gave them poor devils
something to puzzle over.
I wanted to make it look like
the worst bloodbath
in the history of Clark County.
Nobody's ever gonna be able
to tell what happened in there.
But the law will be talking
about it for a very long time.
You got that right.
Ooh, and they'll all be
wondering
how such a sweet little thing
like Tiny
could have gone and done
such a devilish thing,
how she could have killed
two grown men,
her best friend,
minced her up
into little pieces,
leaving nothing behind
but her ring finger.
And all the folks
are gonna wonder
what happened
to poor Lorna's body.
Yeah, the West Texas desert
is an awfully big place
with a lot of hungry
critters in it.
No telling
what became of her.
I sure am glad I wasn't
the one to cross you,
'cause you have one hell
of a mean disposition
when you put
your mind to it, woman.
I have been known
to hold a grudge.
Here you go, baby.
How did Tiny take it?
She figured out
what she got herself into
the moment she saw my gun.
She knew she'd been had.
Oh, Emmett,
I got no wedding finger left
for you to put a ring on.
Well, that's not gonna make us
any less married, baby.
You was always
such a gentleman, Emmett.
You make me feel
real good about myself.
I knew from the moment
I laid eyes on you
that you was different
than Dale,
that you was a real man.
A real man.
Mm-hmm, lingering love
Well, well, won't let me be
Mm-hmm, lingering love
Everywhere I go, it follows me
Linger-linger-lingering love
Just won't let me be
Well, my baby, she's gone,
but my love lingers on
And on and on and on
Talk about love,
a splendored thing
It can make a winter day
seem like spring
But that same love
can be so unkind
It's about to drive me
out of my mind
Linger-linger-lingering love
Just won't let me be
Well, my baby, she's gone,
but my love lingers on
And on and on and on
Mountains tall
and desert wide
Where can I run, baby,
where can I hide?
Love for my baby
won't behave
I guess it's gonna follow me
to my grave
Linger-linger-lingering love
Just won't let me be
Well, my baby, she's gone
But my love
lingers on and on.