Brilliantlove (2010)

# The power of angels
# You met at my door
# I wrapped it up in tinfoil
# And hastened away towards hills
# Begging, "Someone to give me a sign"
# But my heart wrapped in silver
# Couldn't cry any louder
BRILLIANTLOVE
Last winter,
I found a needle in a haystack.
It pricked my skin
and filled me with love.
Now I'm addicted.
What do cats like for breakfast?
Mice crispies.
Shut up, you dick.
When I first started out,
taxidermy was like magic.
No other taxidermists
would tell you their secrets.
There were no books or manuals,
just secrets.
Do you know what
"taxidermy" means, Manchester?
No.
It means "to rearrange skin. "
Can I have a go?
No.
Why?
Because I am a woman,
and you are an idiot.
Do you want anything to eat?
No.
I'm starving.
Do you want to buy this?
No.
But how much do you want for this?
600!
Okay.
- There you go.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
Manchester, they're amazing.
Piss off, Jake.
Look, the tutor will be back in a bit,
and if he catches you in here again,
he's going to fire me.
I'll be done in a minute.
Well, how's about
you just let me do them, right?
And I'll bring them to the pub later?
Okay.
But don't be wanking over my bird.
# Those great big eyes
# It's just like an angel
# Why should I cry?
# Why should I sigh?
Thanks, Jake.
No worries.
Um, did you want another pint?
Go on then.
Somebody said he just...
he fell over a pram in the passage,
but truly, I don't blame it
on the buggy.
Anyway...
You see?
You were expecting
one of them terrible jokes.
You see I'm class, man.
It will only get better.
Eh, you're too easy.
Well, there was a time
there was this bloke
I was hearing about
who was on the train,
puffing away and puffing away,
a little old woman sitting next to him.
Pulls into the station,
the little old woman pulls out a bag
pulls out the Bible from the bag.
Oh, that stinks.
She won't go nowhere near you
smelling like that.
She will. She loves me.
Noon loves me.
She loves me.
Noon loves me.
Finally, he's had enough.
Pulls into the station,
she pulls it out...
Why is he staring?
I've got Noon.
And when we pull up in the station,
you put the Bible back in the bag.
She says, "Why don't you fuck off?"
Well, you see, you do not know
who's on the train these days.
It's questions like that
should be asked.
I mean, easy question, lads.
Easy question.
Hello, Noon.
Hello, Noon.
Whoa!
Jesus Christ.
Prick.
Leah.
What are you doing here?
Have a look at these.
Someone just left them in the pub.
No way.
Manchester?
Sorry I am for being drunk.
But I have an idea anyway.
I want you to do
a little project for me.
I want you to keep an orgasm diary.
I want to know everything.
I want to know what it feels like.
I want to know what you're thinking,
what you're wearing,
where you are.
I want to know your secrets,
your fantasies, your desires.
Everything.
Go on then. Do something.
Postman cat's been.
The first one since
you gave me the tape took ages.
I closed the garage door
and took off my clothes.
I started to play with myself.
I concentrated on the feeling,
'cause I think it's more
important than the fantasy.
# I could never be political
# 'Cause I don't see the point of hiding
# I'm so close to being hypocritical
# I don't need you to tell me
# When I'm drunk and I'm being abrasive
I don't know if you're hot during,
but as soon as you come,
you get all sweaty behind the knees.
I really get off on the noise,
the wetness of the pussy,
the saliva and the juices.
You know what I mean.
# Have you ever tasted
rotten wood with your tongue?
# It's not much fun,
but it gets the job done
# And you're the one
who can test that line
# With that fine saliva
# My advice is to get paid by the hour
# By the wage slaves,
employers giving you 3 a day
# Take a holiday
Don't use it all.
I'm starving.
Do you think we should try and catch it
and keep it as a pet?
I'd rather get a dog.
Dick.
My dad would never let me
have a cat because of his fish.
I'll let you have one.
I'll let you have anything you want.
Sorry, love.
Get us an ice pop, baby.
Feed me.
For fuck's sakes.
Shit.
Sorry.
Are you okay?
It's all gone blurry.
You smell like a punch bag.
I'll be all right another week.
I was looking at one of your
photographs of me this morning.
It's shot from below.
You can see my pussy, then my tits,
and directly in line
with my pussy is my head.
My pussy is twice the size of my head.
Is that how you see me?
Hi, Dad.
Hello, love.
Come here.
I'll put the kettle on.
What happened to your eye, love?
I think I burst a blood vessel.
How?
Play-fighting with Manchester.
Hmm.
I bought this at the market yesterday.
I was looking at the blade thinking,
"That doesn't look very sharp. "
So I ran my finger down it.
Guess what.
Out your finger?
Out my finger.
Are these yours?
Are these yours?
Are these your photographs?
Shit, yeah.
Where did you find them?
How much do you want for them?
The photographs?
I'll give you a grand.
I don't want your money.
Two grand!
Dre was right.
Life ain't nothing
but bitches and money.
Dre? Who's Dre?
Just a bloke.
Look, if you don't want money,
what do you want?
I don't want anything.
I just want Noon.
What, the girl in the photographs?
Loving her is like frying bacon naked.
It would be.
She's pretty.
What do you mean?
Well, the pretty ones
are always dangerous.
Do you actually live here?
Yeah.
What's your name?
Manchester.
My name's Franny.
You should come and see me
sometime, Manchester.
I might be able to help you.
You, uh... you've run out of ice pops.
# Baby, baby, I get a thrill
# Yeah, honey, you know
you make me feel good
# I can't want to see you and hold you
# Oh, that's right
# I'm ready for love
# I'm so excited
# You know it makes me smile
# Gee, I really love you
# Gee, I really do
# Yes, I said I love you
# And I feel all right,
because I think you do too
# Maybe I'm a little stoned, baby
# I just figured it out
# Baby, when I'm in your arms
# I can pass out
just like a little child
# It's hard to admit
I missed you, baby.
I missed you too, you dick.
Stop.
What's the matter?
We've been fucking for hours.
I know. It's amazing.
I'm too sore to carry on.
Tell me a story
about a sexual experience you've had.
Ugh, no, Manchester.
It's too weird,
and I'm still really high.
Please.
I'll just ask one question then.
What's the biggest dick you've ever had?
Yours.
Don't lie to me.
Have you ever had one that was too big?
Yeah.
Really?
What happened?
I used to like fucking
strangers at house parties.
One night I took this guy
into one of the bedrooms.
And?
I nearly fainted
when I grabbed his dick.
It was like a butternut squash.
What did you do?
We tried to do it
for about half an hour,
but he couldn't get it in.
So what happened?
I got on top.
What?
I sat on it.
Nearly tore me in half.
I think he must have been a virgin,
'cause he didn't really know what to do.
All the other girls
must have been scared away.
Not my filthy girl.
Not me.
I rode him till his face
went red and his head exploded.
When I got off him,
my pussy farted
and spunk gushed out of me
onto his stomach.
So much spunk.
I'm going to come.
Are you, you dirty fucker?
Thank fuck for that.
You can wipe that up.
What?
What the fuck are you doing?
Have you seen it back there, Manchester?
Have you seen that?
Piss off, perv boy.
You close your legs.
I'll close my eyes.
I'm completely naked,
crawling around on all fours,
meowing and purring
and acting like a cat.
In the room, there are 10 or 15 men
who are all wanking into a saucer.
When the saucer is full of come,
the cat comes along to lick it clean.
I finger myself
and come around my finger
about ten times.
My pussy keeps squeezing my finger
while I keep rubbing my clit
with the other hand.
You would love the smell
of my fingers right now.
My dick's disappeared.
What did you go in for?
You've got to, haven't you?
It's the seaside.
Do you ever think
about dying, Manchester?
I think that when you die,
you'll be the same
as before you were born.
If you die before me,
ask if you can take a friend.
Do you want to buried or cremated?
I want to be buried, not burnt.
I want the worms to eat me
so I can go back
to where we all came from.
What about you?
Cremated.
Why?
I like fire.
Hello?
Is that Franny?
Hi, yeah, it's Manchester.
Where are we?
You know what you
were saying last night?
What about?
About the future.
Yeah.
Well, we're at Franny's house.
Who the fuck is Franny?
He's this bloke I met.
He said he might be able to help us.
Help us with what?
I'm not sure.
What the fuck, Manchester?
What?
Why do you always have to do this?
I thought this was our story.
It is.
You're a fucking dick, Manchester.
It'll be all right, baby.
Let's just see what happens.
Big fat fucking dick.
Come on, Noon.
Don't be like that.
Manchester.
Come on.
Manchester.
Good to see you.
I'm glad you decided to come.
You must be Noon.
Hi.
Come over and meet the wife.
Everything is going to be okay.
Promise.
Leah, this is Manchester,
the photographer,
and his girlfriend Noon.
This is my wife, Leah.
Hello, Manchester.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
Hello, Leah.
Hello, Noon.
Hi.
I like your shorts.
Thanks.
Right. Come on.
I'll show you to your room.
Join me downstairs for a drink
when you've settled in, guys.
Why did that man
call you a photographer?
Fuck knows.
Where did you meet him?
He drinks in the George.
He drinks in the George
and lives in a house like this?
This place is mental.
What's he do?
I don't really know,
but he said he might be able
to get me a job.
What are you thinking about?
Nothing.
Let's go downstairs.
I can't go down looking like this.
You look good.
I feel dirty.
I'll see you downstairs.
Don't leave me, baby.
Prick.
Sleep okay?
What you having?
Whatever you're having.
Where's Noon?
She says she feels dirty.
Come on.
I want to show you something.
So what do you think?
What is it?
This is what I do, Manchester.
What, you're a housewife?
No.
Oh, you watch porn.
No.
I make porn.
Well, not porn.
The word suggests a complete
lack of artistic value.
Look, whether it's writing,
pictures, films,
what interests me is art
that arouses sexual desire.
Nice.
That's how I met Leah.
What, Leah's a porn star?
No, no.
Not anymore.
She's doing a PhD now in erotology.
Come in.
Hiya.
Is everything okay?
Mmm.
Where's Manchester?
He's downstairs with Franny.
Would you like me to run you a bath?
Yes, please.
I am telling you, kid.
You, you can be a real art star.
We can have an exhibition
arranged in no time.
I don't know.
It's just photos of me
and my girlfriend fucking.
You can make a lot of money.
Money don't interest me, though.
Money is like sex, Manchester.
Only too much is enough.
Do you think... do you think...
do you think Noon wants to live
in a bloody garage forever?
No.
No, she doesn't.
It just seems a bit weird,
though, Franny.
Your morals aren't your bowels, kid.
Losing control of them
don't mean you end up covered in shit.
You think I should ask Noon
what she thinks?
Well, if you have to swallow a frog,
don't look at it too long.
Eh?
Open wide.
# If I promise to settle down
# With you forever by my side
I think he's hurt.
Wait here.
Where are you going?
Don't leave us!
I'm telling you, Steve.
This kid is the real deal.
Yes.
Right.
Thanks, darling.
Yeah.
Hang on, Steve.
Manchester?
What are you doing?
Sorry, Franny.
I'm in a bit of a rush.
Sorry about that.
Yeah, yeah. No problem.
I'll bring him down.
Okay.
What shall we call him?
Peace Frog.
What have you got in there?
Peace Frog.
What you doing with a frog?
Peeling its moons.
What?
Peeling its moons.
Have you been drinking?
What's going on, Manchester?
Nothing.
We're healing its wounds.
It's injured.
Off his head.
I was having a really
weird dream about a mouse
with a side parting in his hair.
He was using a human earlobe
as a punch bag.
I love you.
Don't worry about it. It'll be fine.
No, it'll be fine. Trust me, trust me.
Come on.
Come on, Manchester.
Let's get going.
So what's your technique?
No technique.
Just instinct, a couple of Instamatics,
and a willing girlfriend.
Yeah, she's amazing.
The beauty is that it takes less time
to make the photographs
than it takes for people
to look at them.
I think the beauty is
this rejection of lighting,
the lack of choreography.
It leads to images
without artificiality.
This is the real thing.
Exactly.
We have work to do, gentlemen.
Indeed.
Yeah.
Here, I've got you something.
Fucking hell, Franny.
You just carry on taking those pictures.
You're back at last.
I'm as horny as a field of stags.
Look at this, Noon.
I've had a wicked day.
I'm going to fuck your brains out.
# Silver trees
# Pinwheels in the snow
# No, we didn't see you that year
# You kept your shutters closed
# But I've been sleeping
# To your face
# And I've been talking to your songs
What do you think?
Fucking hell, Franny!
That is you.
Noon, Noon, Noon.
I've got something to tell you.
While I was on holiday in Greece,
I met these two brothers.
They took it in turns
to fuck me in my hotel room.
One day, the younger one
took me to the beach
in the early morning
and told me he had a surprise for me.
He pulled down his trunks
and showed me a tattoo on his dick,
one of those temporary ones
you stick on.
It was of a dolphin.
I pulled my bikini bottoms to one side,
and we fucked there and then
in the sand.
He bit my neck as the waves engulfed us,
and I rode that dolphin
until it was sick inside me.
This one took ages.
In the end, I could feel it coming,
and it nearly ripped my pussy off.
My clit is throbbing.
What the fuck are you doing?
Fuck off.
Cock.
Sorry, baby.
Noon!
Noon!
Noon!
Noon.
Noon?
Noon.
Noon!
Where the hell is she?
I don't know.
Manchester, we've got to get going.
No way.
I'm not going anywhere
till she comes back.
Why don't we all go back
and start getting ready
and see if she turns up?
If she doesn't, none of us will go.
Manchester.
Right.
Noon.
Noon!
# Hello, hello, hello
# Hello, hello, hello
# Here we are
# Moving
# Moving on
# Hello, hello, hello
# Hello
Manchester?
# Here we are
# Moving
# Moving on
# All the gold and the guns in the world
# Couldn't get you off
# All the gold and the guns
and the girls
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you Manchester.
Congratulations on the show.
Very impressive.
Thanks.
So spontaneous, so subversive.
Thank you.
Your photographs are amazing, so raw.
What's your technique?
His technique is an absence
of technique.
His eyes are the lens.
Would you say your images
are in any way impudent?
I don't even know what that means.
It's just a young couple
in love making love.
I told you, didn't I?
What did I tell you?
You are a fucking star.
# Is it ever gonna be enough?
# Is it ever gonna be enough?
# Is it ever gonna be enough?
Noon.
You made it.
We waited for you as long as we could.
Why are you dressed like a twat?
I'm not a twat.
I'm an artist.
No, seriously, I'm an artist.
Come and see.
Smack!
What?
Noon.
Noon.
Noon.
Don't go, please.
Go fucking die!
Fuck it.
Cock!
Ladies and hermaphrodites,
can I have your attention please?
Thanks for fucking coming
and looking at fucking photographs
of my fucking dick,
you fucking twats.
Now I suggest we all get naked
and wrestle like Greeks.
Bravo.
Remember, ladies,
this is where champagne comes from.
Bravo!
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck?
You fucking fucker.
Hey, hey, hey!
Manchester, calm down,
you crazy little bastard.
These are fucking amazing,
some of the best yet.
I didn't even fucking take them.
Splash!
Sorry, mister.
I was just looking
for somewhere to sleep.
Come on.
Ugh.
Fucking hell.
Ugh.
I feel like a severed limb,
like an open sore that will not heal.
Can I speak to Noon, please?
No.
Can you give her these then?
You sick little bastard!
Don't you ever come back here!
What have you done, Dad?
What's going on, Noon?
I'm a taxidermist.
You're keeping dead animals
in my freezer
next to my fish fingers
and then bloody stuffing them?
Not stuffing them.
Taxidermy means "to rearrange skin. "
If this has got anything
to do with Manchester,
I'll rearrange his skin.
In fact, I'll tear the bastard
a new asshole.
I will!
Fuck off!
The press have gone mad.
They fucking love you.
Come on, kid. Pull up your pants.
I don't give a shit.
But this is art, Manchester.
Fuck art.
Fuck you.
Here.
Sold.
Every single one.
Your mum used to say
love is like a bird.
Hold it too tight, and you'll crush it.
Hold it too loose, and it'll fly away.
# She walked in with sadness in her eyes
# I could tell she'd been
sleeping with the stars
# Well, hello
# I am Dawn
# Yes, I've seen you around
# And I just live down from here
# And she has a dad she does not know
# Who sends her letters
with no return address
# I don't know his name
# He don't know my face
# I am better off this way
What the fuck?
Manchester!
Manchester!
Manchester!
Manchester! Manchester!
You fucking dick.
I miss you beside me.
I don't know what it is about you.
You make me feel all funny inside.
You make my soul come out of hiding.
You have a special place in my heart.
Baby, I love you.
No one is ever going to love
you more than I do.
# I could never break your heart
# I could never break your,
break your heart again
# Listen to me
# I could never break your heart
# I could never break your heart again
# Listen to this song
# Listen to this song
# Oh
# I could never break your heart
# I could try but never
get too far again
# No
# Listen to me
# I could never break your heart
# I could try but never get too far
# Listen to this song
# Oh
# Oh, oh
# Oh, oh
# Oh, oh
# I could never break your heart
# I could never break your,
break your heart again
# Listen to these words
# I could never break your heart
# I could try but wouldn't get too far
# Listen to these words