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Bringing Down the House (2003)
Are you there?
I'm here. Help me.|My client is going to jail. Oh, no, she's not. I think I've got it. Really? Look up Hasson v. Conrad. Similar circumstantial|evidence... case was thrown out. Legaleagle, thank you. You are by far|the most brilliant mind in this chat room. Thank you, Lawyer-girl. I realize we have|certain anonymity here, but do you, by any chance,|have a name? It's Charlene. I missed you yesterday. How was your day? Uneventful. I exercised for an hour|in the morning, poked around in the yard|in the afternoon, and visited with a girlfriend|down the block in the evening. Sounds innocent enough. Don't let my humdrum day|fool you, now. I also have a very dark side. Well, I'm 31 with long, flowing locks|and an athletic body. Peter, what do you look like? I'm... a little older...|6'2". My hair is...|it's light. Uh, it's boyishly light. And good night to you,|Lawyer-girl. Gendler. - Good morning, Mr. Sanderson.|- Hi. Morning, Peter. How are you? Gentlemen. Oh, good. Peter's here.|We can begin. Okay.|On to pressing business. Word has come to us that coffee heiress|Mrs. Virginia Arness has dismissed|her current tax lawyers. Virginia Arness. 74 years old, born and raised|in Athens, Georgia. At the age of 13, she was shipped off to|boarding school in England, where she's been residing|until just recently. That was only two days ago. Impressive. Now, we've all heard that Mrs. Arness has|a penchant for thriftiness. And that she brings new meaning|to the term "conservative." It's not going to be easy. She's paranoid|and suspicious. Peter... I'm her guy. I'm single.|I'll give her nights, weekends. Aren't you getting married|on Sunday, Todd? That's flexible. And, Peter, I wouldn't|want this to interfere with your family's|Hawaiian vacation. You go on. I got it all taken care of. Mahalo. Well, that's very admirable|of you, Todd. I mean, your youth|definitely makes you an ass... ...et to the company, especially at the annual|softball game. But to an archconservative,|74-year-old woman? What will we do is not charge|Mrs. Arness one single red cent for her estate planning. Why? Because we don't care|about that measly fee. We use it as a loss leader|to get her corporate business, the multibillion-dollar|Arness coffee conglomerate. How may I help you, Howie? Just thought I'd congratulate|you on turning it around. Turning what around? You snaked Gendler. Please.|Gendler doesn't bother me. Oh, that's right.|He doesn't bother you. What the heck was I thinking? Listen, I thought|maybe after work you and me go tie one on, maybe check out|some of the local talent. Can't. I'm meeting|Mrs. Arness at 6:00. And by the way,|it's "You and I go tie one on," not "You and me go." Somebody messaging you here. Who's Lawyer-girl? Nobody. Whoa. Did someone make|a blind Internet date? No. I mean, you know,|well, technically, but no. I met her|in a legal chat room. She's, uh, very classy|and smart. When do you nail her? I'm courting her tonight|at 7:00. Oh, jeez. You're courting her.|Sounds like a hot one. And this is her? Yeah, she's attractive,|isn't she? I suppose.|It's not my cup of tea. What do you...|she is universally cute. Eh, she's a little too|anemic-Iooking, Petey. I like my jello to jiggle,|if I'm not being too subtle. You're not being too subtle. All right, as long as she spins|your knobs, I'm happy for you. Have you nailed anyone|since Kate? Nail... I was|supposed to call her. Sofia, can you get my wife|on the phone? - Ex-wife.|- Ex-wife on the phone? Right away. Can't help you with this one,|pal. See you later. Peter, you cannot break|another promise to these kids. You just can't. I said I couldn't take them|to Hawaii. I didn't say|I couldn't take them. They can spend the week|with me. They are gonna be|so disappointed. I can't talk to you right now. Um... Daddy can't take you|to Hawaii. Oh, darn. He always does this. Sanderson, party of two. Oh, you're the last|to arrive. How long has she been here? Mmm, about 20 minutes. Was she trouble? Thank you. Hello.|I'm Peter Sanderson. Well, I'm glad|they didn't send a child. I told them I specifically|wanted someone my own age. What a wonderful|French bulldog. My mother had one.|They make great companions. - What's her name? His name is|William Shakespeare. Well, of course. Now, I've heard about|your unfortunate escapade. I don't have escapades. Fiasco with your|previous attorney. The man was|a thieving criminal. Just because I have|a lot of money doesn't give people|the right to overcharge. I do not enjoy|being taken advantage of. Which is why our service|is free of charge. After all, you worked hard|for your money. I'm an heiress. An heiress who worked hard|to keep her money. Now, shall we get down|to business? Fine. So, now you may hand over|your proposal. I'll take it with me. Proposal? Well, I was expecting|to meet with you tomorrow. I was assured|the proposal would be ready for this afternoon. I see no point|in our meeting tomorrow. Excuse me.|Madam, I'm sorry. We have a no-dog policy|in the lounge. Unfortunately, I'm gonna have|to ask you to remove the dog. Excuse me.|I am Mrs. Arness' attorney, and because there is no sign|posted regarding dogs, that means there is|no policy toward dogs. Now, if you want to avoid|a legal situation, I would suggest|you run to the kitchen and get some tuna tartare|for William Shakespeare on the house. Yes, sir. I'm terribly sorry, ma'am. Where and when tomorrow? Hello, Mr. Sanderson. Oh, Mrs. Kline.|Always a pleasure. And when am I going to|get to babysit with your charming|little Georgey again? Oh, uh, well, uh, soon, because he just loves|coming over to your place. Uh, Mr. Sanderson? Those Latin people|who were skulking around... Oh. They were looking|at the Aruda house. Casing it? No, uh, to buy it. Oh, please. If they're in this block and not|carrying a leaf blower... Well, I'd love to discuss this|with you further, but I'm expecting someone. Hey. Hi. I hope you like cham... ...poo. What's up, baby? Ooh, champagne.|I love champagne. This for me? Oh, I'm sorry. I think|you have the wrong house. It is damn good|to finally connect. Pardon me? It's me, fool... Charlene. Ooh, food. What? It's me, honey.|Your date... Lawyer-girl. You can't be. Hey, hey, hey.|Leave that alone. Well, why can't I? Because you're not a blonde. Can't get nothing past you. You must be|a bomb-ass lawyer. Oh, look at all|of these pretty candles... all romantic and shit. Somebody was planning|on getting some booty tonight. Hey! Leave that alone.|There are settings. And you can't be Charlene,|because Charlene is more of... Skinny white broad? Yeah. You know, I get that a lot. But that's your fault|you're thinking that, bro. You must have not have took|a good look at that picture. I have looked|at that picture a lot, and trust me,|you are not in it. Move, move, move.|Let me do it. See? There I am. Sorry you got it|twisted, dog. I don't get a lot of|photo ops where I been. Where exactly have you been? I got a rumble in the jungle.|We still having dinner or what? I asked you a question. Rolex. Rolex? I did time, baby,|but I ain't do the crime. You're a convict? Bump that. Shoot,|Roscoe cracked that door. I kicked it off the heezy|and bounced. For real, though. What did you just say? What, don't you hear good? All right. Let's see.|How can I put this? I was recently liberated|from a correctional facility... All right. I get it. You're in the big house, and|you get someone to type for you, and you get on the Internet,|and you misrepresent yourself. It happens, and I'm a sucker, but now you have to go,|because this is over. Unh-unh. No, no, no. Biscuit,|you misrepresented yourself. Boyishly light... please. Gray. You said you was|a criminal lawyer. I pulled your file. You're just some sorry-ass|tax attorney. A tax lawyer is|a criminal lawyer. Oh, yeah? Well, good,|'cause that's why I'm here. Well, do tell. Well,|I want to reopen my case. And what did you do, smoke|some homies on a drive-by? Smoke? Homies? Well, you a regular|gangster, huh? No, man. I was in for armed|robbery, but I didn't do it. Yeah, nobody did it. I can't be having|this conversation because you're a criminal-type. If I was a criminal,|I would have shanked you when I had|that knife in my hand. The fact that you even said that|is a problem for me. - But I didn't think that.|- It's just time to go. Please, just listen to me.|Just give me one second. No, I don't have a second. Okay, can I just|say something, please? What? I didn't do the crime. You rude mother... I ain't goin'. It's your baby,|Peter, and don't you deny it! That DNA test told on you! You lie, Peter! You know lil' Kareem is yours! Why?! How you gonna do me|like that, Peter?! You told me I was your|beautiful African Queen. And I loved you|for that, Peter! I didn't care if your|little thing was curved. And lil' Kareem don't want|your child support. He just want a relationship|with his white daddy. A little|chocolate/vanilla swirl from that magical night|at the crackhouse. Oh! Come on.|Just be quiet! Wait just a second.|My shoes. - Mr. Sanderson?|- Whoa! Is everything okay? I thought I heard Negro. - No. No Negro spoken here. Oh. Well... good night, then. Oh, uh... good night. Come on! Come on, come on! You stay. You stay.|You wait right there. Who you callin'? - The police. Police department.|Sergeant Panella. Please hold. What's that? It's all of our e-mails. You think anybody at Tobias,|Kline, and Barnes would be interested|in hearing about you looking for Boom-boom|in the federal pen? And I'll send a photo. Thanks for holding.|Can I help you? Now, this is just|for tonight, understand? A'ight. I can work with this. But, uh, look,|don't be gettin' no ideas about sneakin' up in here|and hittin' this ass, 'cause you blew your chance|with this fine sister. Dare to dream. Please. Oh, my God! A bed! Oh, a nice, big, cushy bed. Ohh, no roommates,|no cellmates. Charlene? Charlene. Charlene! Come on,|you're not fooling anybody. Who that? Who there? Who want it with Lene? I put some bagels outside. I thought|we could discuss your case. Ahh! What up, dog?|Where 'em bagels at? Hey, guess what, girlfriend?|Your game is up. Because I burned|all those e-mails, including the second set hidden|in the lining of your coat. And I deleted everything|off my computer. So I never met you,|and you never met me. Don't even try, girlfriend,|because it's locked. And now I am going to go|get my kids, as in innocent young persons who will never even know|you were here. So now just go. Go, go, go, go,|go, go, go, go! And locky locky! So ta-ta. And watch out.|The gate closes automatically. Well, what about my stuff? Oh, it's right there|on the street. You put my stuff|on the trash? Oh Well, you know what? I wish you well.|I really do. And you know what?|I had a great, great time. It was really fun. So, oh, well. I guess I'll just see you|in my next life. Bye! I'll see you|when you get home. So I said to him, "Just 'cause you whisked me|to Paris on your private jet doesn't mean|I'm gonna sleep with you." What does he think I am?|A hooker? Can Aunt Ashley|edit herself, please? You stayed in|the same room with him. What did you expect? Hello. It was a suite...|plenty of floor space. Sweetiepie, have a wonderful|time. I love you. Please be good to your brother|and help him with his reading. - I will.|- Thank you. Is he still having problems? Oh, he struggles every day,|but he's improving. - Dad's here. Thank you, sweetiepie. Don't worry, sweetie. Daddy's stupid, too,|and he became a lawyer. Ashley! I'm not stupid. - That's right.|- No, no, no. Of course not. Hey, Dad's here. Speak of the dummy. Hey, how's my little girl|doin', huh? Hi, Dad. Hey, how's it goin', big guy? Ahhh, here you go. Hi, Kate. Hi. Oh, Ashley, I didn't realize|you were gonna be here. What a pleasant surprise. Peter,|you're almost aging well. Okay, I thought we'd go down|to the club and take a swim. Ooh, that sounds|much more fun than Maui. You know, Ashley,|not all of us earn our living by milking rich geriatrics|out of their money. Some of us have to work|for a living. You sound much more intelligent|with your mouth shut. Let's not start this.|I don't have time. Kids, go get your stuff. All right, fine. But I warned you about marrying the first|jerk-off you met out of college. Now, if you'll excuse me,|I have a date. Don't be good. What morgue did you find|this one at? Stop being so childish. Hey. Wow.|You look beautiful. Thank you. Uh, hi. Uh, Peter, this is Glen. Hey. Hey, Mr. Sanderson.|Nice to see you. Yeah, nice to meet you. Uh, what do you say|we get this road on the show? Okay. I will meet you outside. Okay. Road on the show. Just don't. How old is he? Younger. - What does he do?|- Golf instructor. - How do you know that?|- What? Well, you think|you know somebody, and then one day you wake up|in Thailand missing a kidney. He could have made up|this whole golf identity. He caddied for you|when he was 14. That's little Glenny? Does that bother you? Not at all. Go have fun|on your statutory weekend. This does too bother you.|I know you. Do you want to talk|about it? Well, it just looks|a little silly. - Hang on. Hello? Some things never change. I can't talk right now. Well, put him on. Hi. You promised us|you'd take us snorkeling. Things come up.|That's life. I know.|I'm really, really sorry. But now it's over. It's new.|We're gonna have a lot of fun. Now, what's new?|What's new with you? Well, I got the female lead|in the school play "Oklahoma!" Hey, that's great.|Congratulations. And how 'bout you, big guy?|How's school? I don't like school. Well, nobody likes school, but there must be something|you like about it. He got into a fight|the other day. Why?|Why'd you get in a fight? Some kids called me a baby|'cause of the way I read. Some of the greatest minds of|all time had trouble learning, like Edgar Allan Poe|and Albert Einstein and, uh, Ozzy Osbourne. Ozzy rules. Ozzy rules. Okay. Dad, what's goin' on? You two wait here.|I'll be right back. Hey! Whoa, whoa. Where you think|you're goin', milk? This here's|a charitable event. You wants to get in,|you gots to make a donation. Trust me, it is|off the hook in there. Off the what?|I live here. I don't care|if you're Halle Berry, man. No donation, no entry. How 'bout|if I call the police? Have a nice time. Oh, yeah. Yeah, baby, show me. Hey! What the hell|is going on here? Oh, yo, P., it's cool. See, I hit up my homegirl 'cause I had to get my hair|done, as we both know. And then she called a friend.|They holler to other friends. Before you know it,|we got us a house par-ty. I want everyone|out of here now! People! People! Loosen your panties, Grandma. Look, you lock me out,|no money, no place to go. I mean, a girl got to get|her cheese on. - Seven. This is insane! My boss' sister lives|across the street. I can't have all these peop... Hey! Give me a hard seven, baby. Hey, hey, hey, hey. She doesn't even have|her driver's permit. Dad. Do not go... Roll! Uh! Come on. Don't inhale. All right, now. Go on|and toss them bones, lil' man. Hey! Give me... I'm on a roll, Dad. - Get out. I want you and your dogs|to go back to the pound now. What? Well, it was the dogs? Because she said dogs,|and then I said dogs, so I assumed|that would be okay. Huh? - Whoo! Tsk. Ohh. Bye, Tamika.|Y'all be good, now. Bye. Hey, hey.|Y'all got to go. - A'ight.|- That's a'ight. Hey, baby, gonna go. Oh, bye, Bear.|Thank you so much. Party's over.|Okay. Thanks for coming. But that's it. It's over. If I see Widow around,|I'm gonna tell him you're out. You know|he wants to know that. I don't know about that.|I'll see you. - Okay. Bye, baby.|- Bye-bye. It's like this. Hey. - How you doin', neighbor?|- What's up? What are you still doing here? - What was all that, Dad?|- Dad, who's this? This is no one. Tsk! What's up, lil' Romeo? My name is Charlene.|What's your name? I'm Georgey. You cannot meet|a nonexistent person. Can Charlene come to the club? Club? What club? We're not going to a club,|remember? We're going to Hawaii,|remember? Okay, you know the routine.|Outski! - Out! Let's go.|- Come on, man! Sarah, get the door.|Come on. Out. Out, out, out! - Wait!|- What? Give me my money, lil' boy. That money should go|to charity! Ohh! What did... Hey, I live here. Yeah! What? Okay, you guys. You know, you order hot dogs,|and you splash and frolic and just put everything on|my account and just have fun. Didn't you bring|your bathing suit? Oh, no.|I'm having tea with a client. But I will be right back. Whatever you say. Want to go swimming? With you? Forget you. Ow! How's it looking? Well, I was up all night|proofing. It's absolutely brilliant. And you've got the cleanest|background check I've ever seen. That background check|cost me a lot of fun in my life. - I don't know, honey. Don't say anything.|She could hear you. What's crackin', ma? I'm lookin'|for the Sanderson table. We old college buddies. O-O-Okay.|He's i-in the dining room. L-I'll show you. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I tell you what...|I'll surprise him. No, you're in great shape.|I'm gonna take off. All right, you're right.|Nothing could go wrong. I've done this a million times|with important clients, so I'm fine. - Shazam.|- What? Oh, no. Oh, swing it,|you cocoa goddess. Cocoa Goddess? That's the rude|shock I was telling you about. That's Charlene? Did she see me? Okay, okay, okay, police. Uh, no.|Won't get here fast enough. Uh, security. No, she could probably|take him. Uh, money. She'll take money. Hi, hi. Here, just...|Here's whatever. And there's more where that came|from if you just leave now. No. Unh-unh, boyfriend.|We got business. Boyfriend? Oh, didn't I tell you?|We're dating now. It's some kind of street talk. It's street for|"I'm not going nowhere until you help my problem|go away." Look, Mrs. Arness,|a very important client, is due here any minute. Good afternoon. Good afternoon.|Mr. Sanderson? Oh, yes.|He's in the dining room. Thank you. Charlene, how 'bout you and I havin' a smart cocktail|down by the pool? Who is this fool? That's a good idea.|Just put it on my bill. I don't want no smart cocktail.|I need your help. Miss. Another martini. Oh, hell, no.|I know she ain't talkin' to me. Ashley,|she doesn't work here. If she isn't here to work,|then what is she here for? Oh, hells no, Miss Thing.|You best pump your brakes. She's my ex-wife's sister. I would have killed her|myself years ago. It's Mrs. Arness! Mmm. Old Iron Ass|be lookin' mean. Yes. You have to go. You like raw oysters,|Charlene? Yeah. I guess|I can hang out for a bit. They got any hot wings|around here? All right.|Whatever you want. Yes. - You give me a place to stay?|- Yes. - And you work on my case?|- Around the clock. I'll leave|when you expunge my record. Consider it expunged. All right.|I'd like a key, please. Mr. Sanderson? Mrs. Arness. Who is your associate? This is Howie Rottman,|the attorney I told you about. A great pleasure|to meet you, Mrs. Arness. I meant her. Oh. Her? Her? Her is... her... She is our... our nanny. Dad, I'm bored. Kids, how good to see you. Don't we just love|our nanny, Charlene? Uh... um... Y-yeah. Don't you just love being|our nanny, Charlene? Yessir. Now I'm gonna go on down|to the pool with the child'n. Maybe we make fun of the white|folks again, huh, kids? Ooh-hoo! Oh, the kids just love her. - What a sense of humor.|- Yeah. Peter, I'm going to hang|by the pool. If you need me,|that's where I'll be. Mrs. Arness. Uh, right this way,|Mrs. Arness. Come, William. You have the papers? Oh, yes, yes, I do. Strange clothes for a nanny. Well, it's a fashion to kids. - Ow!|- William, mind. Hello, Sanderson family! Georgey,|don't forget poker night! I won't. How could I forget|poker night? I propose a toast. Okay. To us. May we always... - Sorry. It's mine. Oh, you're not gonna|answer that, are you? Well, it might be...|might be one of my kids. Just one minute. Sorry. Hello? Hey, it's me. Oh, hi, Ashley.|Everything okay? I don't know. I saw Peter hanging out|at the club today. He was mingling with|a large black woman. What? What are you|talking about? He said it was his nanny. She didn't look like any nanny|I'd ever seen. She was all...|tattooed and welfarish. - It was... Oh, is that funny to you?|Is that funny? Am I funny to you? No, no.|That's not funny. Were you laughing at me? Oh, I wasn't... Stop. Get away. No, I wasn't|laughing at you. Just... hang on. Um, you know, look,|I know Peter. I know him. He's not gonna spend all his|time taking care of the kids. He went and hired somebody! Seriously, Kate!|This woman was no nanny. You need to do something. I saw this woman.|I was there. Shouldn't you at least|be looking at references? Thank you. Thank you. Listen, Peter is nothing|if not responsible. It's not like he's gonna|hire a convicted felon. Oh, I wouldn't be too sure|about that. Ohh! Let's see... we got resisting|arrest, assaulting an officer, repeated attempts|at eye-gouging, and... scrotum crushing. Well, I was a little riled up,|being framed and all. And your clothes and I.D.|Were found at the scene. All plants.|I never robbed nobody! Okay. I know my rights.|I get an appeal. I get an appeal! You only get an appeal if you|were convicted and incarcerated. You were released. Look, why don't you just|start over? Go back to school and get|at least a passing familiarity - With the English language. It's no end|to what you can accomplish with a little commitment. My daughter Sarah|is fully committed, and she's going places. Oh, she's goin' places,|all right. HOWIE: So, it's a charitable|remainder trust. That way, the old tightwad gets|a huge deduction every year. Uh, no more calls, Sofia. It's not a call.|There's someone here... Girl, get out! I do not know who you are... Send her in. Bet you know me now, huh? This couldn't wait|until tonight? Well, well, well! Come in, have a seat,|spend some time. Thanks, homeboy,|and, no, it can't wait. You gotta check this out. - What is it?|- I found the deposition. The prosecution interviewed|an eyewitness, and she told them|that the perpetrator didn't have a tattoo|on the chest. They never told my lawyer|about this shit. That's withholding exculp... Exculpatory evidence.|People vs. Stanley, I know. How do you know that? Why wouldn't she know that?|She's got it goin' on. Damn, Pete, all I did in there|was read law books. And with comprehension. Made you think I was a lawyer. I mean, you obviously have|pockets of intelligence. So, why do you walk and talk|and act the way you do? Because it's sexy. It ain't actin'! This is who I am. I mean, you think|I can't talk like you? Oh, Peter, I absolutely love what|you've done with the place! It's so sterile, so...|so bland, so wonderful! See? You can do it. Oh, you like that, huh? Well, you can kiss|my natural black ass, because I don't need|your approval. No, she don't need|your approval. Hey, you don't think|I compromise the way I act? You think I like walking around|like an uptight... honky? Yes. I know your lingo. Peter, Mr. Tobias|is coming to see you. Oh, God. Well, this should be|interesting. Uh-oh. What we gotta do,|play "hide the sister"? Or do I gotta do|that slave thing again? Just... just act natural. - Let's get her out of here.|- Why don't we get her out? Um, um, um, um, um... Peter... Howie. Ed. Who is this? - Uh, this is the...|- Well, we were just having... Well, Mr. Sanderson,|I can see you are very busy. That's why I really|appreciate you offering your services|free of charge. Oh, I... well,|I just... gosh. - Peter... She is... Well, see,|Mr. Sanderson here, being the heavenly man|that he is... God bless you! Oh, you got that anointing|on you... ...has offered to do the taxes|for the Compton Evangelistic Episcopal Baptist church|of South Central. You know,|just anything to help Reverend Shack... tillfont. Just call him Shack. Shack. Well, I'll let you guys go. I'll see you at choir rehearsal|on Thursday. 7:00, now! I'll escort|Mrs. Shacktill... font to the elevator. Gentlemen. Uh, Peter,|we're really in a crunch. I just got word that another|firm's in the running for the R&S account. We need to close this deal. Look... I have no problem being|Peter's wingman on this one. Oh, well, thanks anyway, but I|really have it under control, so, you don't have to worry|about a thing, Ed. Good. Then I'll expect you|to wrap it up in a day or two. - That's the plan, certainly. Well. Could you... - Sure.|- Thank you. Thank you. She can't tee up her own ball? I've been playing this game|for many years... That's what it feels like. ...and it's all about|patience. PETER:|Well, you beat me by 19. MRS. ARNESS:|Uh, let's make it 20. All right. Mrs. Arness, I was wondering if you'd like to come over|to my house on Thursday and possibly|look over the contract. I'll have to check with|my secretary, Julia. Mrs. Arness, would you|excuse me for a minute? I just have to|check on my children. Oh, of course.|You do that. I'd like to dip you|in Cheez Whiz and spread you over|a Ritz Cracker, if I'm not being too subtle. Boy, you are|some kind of freaky. Oh, you have no idea. You got me|straight trippin', boo. Hey, hey, hey!|Hey, what are you doing here? What does it look like?|I'm on a date. On a date. She's on a date?|She's a felon. - I am not a felon.|- Hey, what is she doing here? Get used to it, Twiggy. You're gonna be seeing|a lot more of me around here. Not without a broom|in your hand. If I have, it's 'cause I'm here|to sweep up the white trash. Save it for the YMCA, Jemima. Bitch! I'm gonna kick|the bulimia out of your ass! Have you ever had|a tempered moment? Why don't you go back to the|vodka bottle you crawled out of? Mrs. Arness is here. I am sheltering you.|I'm helping you. Remember, I helped you... All right!|I'll let it ride. Thank you for letting it ride.|That is wise and mature. Now, just get her walking|that way. Let me show you the place,|Charlene. Looking good, Lois! Hey, freak boy... I'm gonna make myself a little|more luscious for you, okay? I'll be right back. Okay, precious. What are you doin' in here? I told you you was gonna be|seein' more of me, right? Look, I came here to warn you. You keep disrespecting me, and it's gonna get rough|around here. Back off, Shaniqua. You don't scare me. You know what? That's it. You must need a little more|eye shadow, right? Come on! You've messed with|the wrong W.A.S.P., bitch. Compliments of Tae-Bo, two hours a day,|five days a week. Compliments of the 'hood,|24 hours a day, all my life. You know, for a skinny white ho,|you're pretty tough. And I don't ever want to have|this conversation again! "The girl had dou..." "...ble..." "...double D-cups." There you go. You got it,|lil' man. "I put my mouth|on her nip..." "...ples." What is that? What are you doing|letting him read th... He read. You read. Georgey, you read. I'm gonna kill you! I am so proud of you. I'm turning you in! Pfft.|I found it in your drawer. Well, I am a grown man|of 54... 41... 49 years old, and he's 8, and what I read|in the privacy of my... How'd you do it? Oh, God,|I'm never gonna get this done. Look,|the boy don't look carefully at the details in a word, so most of the time,|he's just guessin'. What you got to do|is just slow it down and give him somethin'|stimulatin' to read. Dad? What's a rack? It's a country. Well... I was just doin' it|'cause he was botherin' me. Well, either way... Can you get rid of this? Just put it back in my room, 'cause I'll get rid of it,|'cause I have a special... Well, Mrs. Kline,|how wonderful to see you. Come in! It's girls poker night|at the house. Where's my little dealer? Well, just wait right here,|and I will just go get him. Georgey, Mrs. Kline is here! Hi, Mrs. Kline. Come on, Georgey! Tonight, I'm gonna|teach you to bluff. And I think we need to|comb your hair differently. You look like a fag. - I'm not a fag!|- I didn't say you were. - Hello.|- Hi. How are you? Oh, good evening, sir. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Dad, I don't want you|to freak out, okay? Why would I freak out? Well... Dad, this is Aaron. Hi. - Hello.|- How do you do, sir? L-l-I'm so glad|to actually meet you. L-l-I told Sarah|that it was very important that you feel comfortable|with me taking her to|my parents' for dinner. So, this is a date? Oh, um, I'll have her home|by 11:00 at the latest, sir? I guess that'd be all right. All right. Did it work? Yeah,|like a charm, my friend. All right. Let's party. Hey, watch the seats. - All right...|- Oh, shut up. No, I'm serious.|It's leather. Hmm. Well, look at you,|all growed up. There's nothing to eat|in the house. Yeah.|You comin' to a point? Well, I'm hungry.|Are you? You askin' me out? Well, no, I'm not. Yes, I am. Okay. Oh, look at the legs|on this wine. I'm telling you,|this place is bangin'. Don't you just mean,|"This is nice"? Why the word "bangin"'|make you so uptight? You're smart... if you'd just|deign to speak English with what you learned|on the Internet and in prison, you could be|a paralegal tomorrow. Like they gonna be beatin' down|my door to let me in school. You're exactly|the kind of person they want. Well, why would I want|to do that, anyway? I've been to your office. Everybody's all uptight,|overworked, tired, stressed-out,|don't see their family. "Ooh, Ed is comin'."|"Ooh, Tobias." I get a wedgie|just walking in your office. Hey, it's what people do.|They work. Look, all I'm sayin' is|I did the confinement thing for four years. If you're so concerned|with my future, just help me clear my name. I got it from there. I got my own dreams,|my own goals. - Hey, give it to me. Hey!|What'd you do that for?! - 'Cause you work too much.|- This is my phone! That's probably why your wife|left your sorry ass. Okay, Oprah, if you're so good|at relationships, how come you don't|have a boyfriend? I had one. It's just I haven't seen|or heard from him since I went in|four years ago. Were you in love with him? Come on, let's go dance. Ha ha ha ha... no. Come on. When is|the last time you danced? At my wedding. Don't worry, I can dance.|It's just that I don't wanna. Come on, smooth. Show me|what you're workin' with. I can dance.|I just don't want to dance. Man, you can't dance. - Well, I got moves.|- Let me see. All right, all right. Okay, one last|little drink here. What, you got to pee? This was big in high school. Man, look, you can't dance|from your brain. You gotta feel it.|Now, come on. Show me how|you made them kids. - What the hell...|- How's this? That's great for an epileptic.|Come on, now. You gotta move your pelvis|with it. More hips.|There you go. Get smooth with it. Well, I'm sorry.|I can't help it. I miss him. Oh, snap out of it, already. I'm snapped. I'm snappy. Oh, God, Ash. I still can't believe|you were hit by a car. Did you call a lawyer? Oh, I can't talk to a lawyer.|I was jaywalking. So, can we just stop... - What?|- Oh, my God. What? Look at that! Oh, my God, it's true.|Look at that! Look at that! He never danced like that|with me. I'm gonna go talk to him. No! Sit! Why? I can't tell you. If I talk about it, gangster people will come|to my house and cut me. Oh. Oh, he almost looks|like a fun person. Must've been me. Was it me? No. Stop beating yourself up.|It's him. Can we just|get out of here? Now? You know what they say... once you go black,|you never go back. Can we get the check, please? And that's why|I worked so hard, so I could give Kate a good|life, then it backfired! Man, bitches don't care|nothin' about that shit. Oh, bitches do too care. I'm gonna|tell you a secret... sometimes I drive by our old|house, and I just look at it, and I just remember our life,|and it just hurts! Man, that is so pathetic,|P. Diddy. But you know what?|I'm gonna help you get her back. How? Well, first,|we gotta create a mood. Just like at|the restaurant, baby. I'm already there. Yeah.|Now, feel the Barry. Feel Barry White.|Talk like Barry. - Okay, that's Barry.|- Yeah. This is Kate. Hey, Kate. Yeah. I want you to talk nasty|to her! Talk nasty! I'd like to kiss you a lot. Cut that sensitive shit,|Nancy Boy! What? - You gotta be a beast!|- A beast! Yeah! In the bedroom,|a woman wants a man that knows how to ride her|when she bucks. Ride 'em when she bucks!|Ride 'em! It's just... I can't.|It's a sculpture. I just can't. All right, okay. Use me, then. Damn it, grab these. - What?!|- Grab 'em! Oh, I get it, yeah. - Hey, Kate.|- Uh-huh. Yeah, you've been waitin'|for this for a while, huh? That's right. Now,|what you gonna do to her? I'll tell you|what I'm gonna do! I'm gonna give you|an aromatherapy massage with incense! No! Come on, now! Wimps give|aromatherapy massages! Tell her again! All right! I'm gonna have... sexual intercourse, baby! No, you... you a beast!|You need some of these. - Yeah.|- Cojones grande! Yeah! I'm gonna put 'em|in my pants! - Get in there, boys!|- Now, grab 'em! - Grab 'em. Yeah, hey, baby!|- Grab 'em! Now, what you gonna do?|What you gonna do?! Yeah, Mama! You gonna be|my tawdry little woman? Damn right!|Now get to humpin'! - Ya-hoo!|- Whoa! - How 'bout that, huh?!|- Yeah! How would you like me|to pounce on you - like a lion from above?|- I like it! I like it! - Yo!|- That's what I'm talkin'! You ain't just|no king of the jungle, you own that jungle! That's your pride! You own that jungle,|and ain't no one gonna come around|and mess with your pride! That's right!|I like that. Yeah! You ain't ready|for that shit! Come on, now! Be a beast! What you gonna do|when she starts ridin', huh? Take care of her!|That's what I'm gonna do! - Uh-huh! Uh-huh!|- You're mine, Kate! - Ride that lighting rod!|- You don't need these no more. You got your own!|You found your balls! Yeah, I don't need those balls!|I got my own balls! Mandingo! What goes on in your personal|life is none of our business, but if it begins|to affect the firm, we need to call attention|to it. Guys, we were moving a statue, and we lost our footing,|and we fell. My sister's|under the impression that you were|humping your nanny. I was not humping my nanny! Peter, surely you understand|that if Mrs. Arness were to suspect any instability|on your part... There is no instability|in my home. WIDOW: You sure|you can trust this guy? Well, hey,|he's helping me reopen my case. Y'all got any leads? Well, a still from|the bank surveillance camera is on its way here, and we found a deposition|that could help. Well, that's cool, baby. If there's anything|I can do to help, anything...|you just holler. I gotta run. Hey, Widow, if you meant|what you just said, it's not gonna be an easy job. WIDOW: I know it ain't. I just gotta know|that if things get rough, you're not gonna run out|on me. WIDOW: I've been waitin'|four years for this. I ain't gonna mess up. Mmm. Ooh! Planning another heist? No.|Why would you say that? I don't know. Maybe it was hearing|the words "job" and "hot" bandied between|two tattooed people? That was just my old boyfriend|I told you about... Widow. He's just tryin'|to get back with me. Mm-hmm. I'm tellin' you the truth! Look, I just didn't|want you to see him, because Widow, he ain't been|the best boyfriend, and I knew|he'd be all over me. Now you suddenly care|what I think? No. Maybe. A little bit. No more late visits? Word. Convicted felon's honor? Innocent convicted felon's|honor. Now, give me some dap,|right there on the edge. Right there, and then|come up here like that. - Pow, like that. Hello? SARAH: Dad! Hey, sweetie. Is Charlene there? Yeah, she's here.|Do you want to talk to her? - You okay?|- Yeah, I'm... All right. - Sarah? Okay.|- Girl talk. What up, dog? I need you to come pick me up.|I can't talk about it right now. Where you at? I'm on the corner|of Venice and Canal, and there's a whole lot|of people out front. - Please don't tell my dad!|- All right. No, just calm down.|I'm comin' to get you. I'm sorry.|I didn't know who else to call. It's cool.|What's goin' on? Hey, Sarah, what have|you been up to? Hee hee! Is that your boyfriend? No, he's not my boyfriend. I liked his friend, Mike, and we hung out a few times,|and he was always really nice, but then... all he wanted to|do tonight was have sex, I mean, he moved in|kind of rough, and... He got rough with you?|Where he at? He went back there|with that group. Go wait downstairs. Yo, Mike! Please, don't kill me! Oh, God! What are you? Crazy?! Pull me up!|What do you want?! Sarah! Mike has somethin'|to say to you. Say "sorry"! L-I'm sorry! I'm sorry!|God, I am sorry! Say "No means no." No means no! She was where?! Calm down. It's just... - She is 14!|- She's 15! Wait! G... well... oh! Look... Sarah don't need a warden. She needs her father...|you... so you can't get mad,|all right? You do it, she'll never|tell you anything again. All right.|I get it. I get it. Just be cool. Just play it cool,|you know what I mean? Just listen to her.|Let her do the talkin'. I am listening to you! Thank you. Don't trip. Don't trip. So... you went out with a boy... and he took you to a party, where kids were... drinking and "trippin' on E."... and then he took you|up to a room where he tried to... "get all up in that..." which he... didn't? And then Charlene came... in my new car...|and brought you home after first...|"bitchslapping" him. Well... ...that was some night. Oh, Dad! I can't believe|you're not killing me! Oh! This is so great! I want|everything out in the open! Oh, I have so much more|to tell you! Kate, what are you doing here? W-What are you doing here? It's my shortcut home|from work. No, it's not. - Yes, it is.|- Is not. I thought you were|in the mountains. Well, yeah,|l-I came back early. There were bears that were|mauling the campers and eating them. Wow. But other than that...|nothing went wrong with your... Oh, no, no.|He's great. Yeah, I liked him. So, how's your... My what? Your life? Anything hip and new? No. I'm having a good time|with the kids. Good. Glad you're having|fun with her. Them. What? You look, um... Yeah. Rested. Nice. You look nice. So, um, I guess I'll come by|later and pick up the kids. Oh, I was wondering if I could|keep them through Friday. Really?|You're not too busy? No. Well, yes, it's okay. It's wonderful, Peter. You know, if you wanted|to come ov... - Go ahead. Sorry. - Hello? Yo, get your butt home, dog. I will be home in my own|sweet time, girlfriend. You gotta come now. Arness said|she on her way over here. Oh, I forgot all about that. Oh, I'm sorry.|L-l-I have to go. I just forgot|about something, but I want to continue|this conversation, so I will call you, or you can|call me on my cell. Bye! - Is she here yet?|- No! The place is a mess! - We gotta clean this place up! Hey, get upstairs|and get ready! And what are you reading?! Get up there!|Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Hey, yo, P.,|while we got this minute... there's somethin' I really|been meanin' to tell you... Well, you'll have to wait. Kids! She's here! Mrs. Arness? Oh! I'll get right to the point,|Mr. Sanderson. There are rumors circulating that your personal life|and your home are in disarray, and this makes me feel|very unsettled. I don't know who misinformed|you, but please, come in. I'd hate to think you're|under any misapprehension about me or my family. Sarah? Georgey? You remember Mrs. Arness? So lovely to see you again. Um, Father,|when you have a moment, would you mind helping me with|my report on Queen Victoria? Sure, kitten. And don't forget, Pop, tomorrow|you have to come to school and help hand out the food|to the poor kids. Have I ever forgotten|to help the poor kids? No, Pop. Never. In truth, Mr. Sanderson,|you have a lovely home. Thank you. And your children|are very well-behaved. - They're angels. - Oh, William. Oh, look! He's even taken a fancy|to your boy. That's so sweet. Anyway, we can go to the den|and get the contracts... What is that heavenly smell? Ah, that would be|Charlene preparing dinner. Anyway, the contracts... I haven't smelled home cooking|like that since I was a child. Really? Anyway... Brings back|such happy memories. Does it? Anyway, actually,|the den is closer... Your table looks so inviting. Yes. It's too bad|it's so small. Small? Well, actually,|it's big, isn't it? It's a big table, so... there would be room|for one more. Oh, well, if it's not|an imposition... Oh... oh. Well, let me just go check|if there's enough food. I'm not... I'm not sure, because, uh, actually,|this is the night of, uh, Yiminum, the, uh...|the holiday where white people eat|very little portions because that was the night|the Lord came down, and he was given food, and there was just too much,|and he said, "No." And so, he had|a smaller portion, and that's why we might not|have enough. So, I'll just go check on, uh,|what the Lord would say. Just one second. SARAH: Come here, William. Hey, come here.|Are you hungry? Charlene... If there was ever a time|I needed a favor, it's now. You got it, baby.|Anything. Oh, thank you! Oh. Mrs. Arness? Yes? Oh, yes. My family and I are pleased|to invite you for dinner. Yeah, oh. Well, very well.|I wasn't expecting this. Uh, but if you insist. And then afterwards,|we can sign the contracts. Of course. Dinner is served. I was raised|in the South, you know. That smells just like|our Ivy's jambalaya. She was so wonderful. We paid her nothing,|of course, you know. But, then, people had standards|of service in those days. And, of course, Ivy did know that you serve from the left|and collect from the right. Don't... stop at that story, because|I love hearing about your past. That is fascinating. Oh, yes. Well, anyway,|as I was saying... Yeah. Fast-actin'. Fast-actin'. Ooh, I'm gonna get you. I'm gonna get you. Uh-huh.|I'll serve your food right. Was it the left?|Was it the right? Father's work with the|Pasadena Republican Youth Group has truly been invaluable. I hope y'all brought|y'all appetites. Oh, yes. I brought mine. Oh, my goodness. This is much too much for me. I'll never get through|all that. I have a little less here.|I'll trade with you. Thank you. What, Charlene? Nothing, sir. Oh, this food|is so delicious. Serves him right, anyway, makin' me wear|this stinkin' outfit. You're very lucky to have found|such talented help. Well, our Ivy was with us|for so long, we really thought of her|as one of the family. And after every meal, my mother would scrape|all the food we hadn't eaten and put it on one big plate|and give it to Ivy. Charlene... what is that|particular taste? It's familiar, yet... Is it some kind of herb|like sage? No, it's sort of more|like a milk of mint. Milk of... whatever it is,|the taste is explosive. Well, good, then. Enjoy. Oh, just one moment. Uh, you know, uh, there's a lovely,|sad Negro spiritual... ...that Ivy's brother used... Are you all right? Anyway, Ivy's brother|used to sing this when he came in|from the tobacco fields. Now, there's a second verse if you'd like to join|in the chorus. That's an unusual feeling. - Dad? Are you okay? I hope your father's|all right. Does this happen often? Well, If you'll excuse us. Georgey, let's go watch that|biography on Francis Drake. We... I mean, he seemed to be|so moved by that song. Oh, he movin', all right. - And tonight's top story...|- William? The FBI needs your help in finding fugitive at large|Charlene Morton. Charlene is an African-American|female, 31 years of age... What is it? ...and 5'6", 175 pounds, with a tattoo|on her left breast. Convicted of armed robbery, Charlene is considered|cunning and highly dangerous. Having escaped from the Women's|Correctional Facility outside Los Angeles|a mere six days ago, Morton is suspected|to be armed. This bank surveillance tape|shows Charlene wielding a gun and holding a customer hostage. Charlene is considered dangerous|and may be armed. If you have any information|concerning Charlene Morton, please contact|your local FBI office. That's it for tonight's edition|of "Criminals at Large." Good night and be safe. PETER: Mrs. Arness,|I can explain everything. Pete, before you lose it,|just let me explain. There's nothing to say. But I didn't do it, Pete. You have to get out. All right.|I'll get my stuff. I don't understand.|You saw her and where is she? I don't know where she is. Don't drop the soap. What the hell does that mean? I just don't believe this.|I'm worried about her. I hate the fact that|she's out there all alone. You're worried about the poor,|innocent, frail creature who can hardly take care|of herself on the street? What about me?|Tobias is gonna fire me! And another goody... if Arness calls the cops,|I could go to jail! Here's the local number|for the Bureau. The FBI takes harboring|a fugitive very seriously. You, gentlemen, will be|the first to hear from me. Arness didn't call the cops,|she called the FBI. - Now, you haven't seen me.|- I have seen you. No, I mean,|you haven't seen me. I'm looking right at you.|What are you... If you do hear from her, please tell her the cool points|are out the window and... she's got me all twisted up|in the game. Why you messin' with Lene? I'm not messing with her,|I'm helping her. Bullshit! Uh! I'm telling you|the truth! Listen up.|You do not reopen this case. From now on,|I'm handlin' it for her. I'm not gonna reopen the case.|The case is closed. Stay out of her life. If I got to come back here,|things are gonna get bloody. Maybe I should|just finish this now. We have to find Charlene. I thought you hated Charlene. I found out she's innocent. I knew it. I knew it. Where am I gonna find her? Well, you can call her. How can I call her|if I don't know where she is? I gave her your phone,|in case you might... You gave her my new|$600 titanium cellphone? Good idea. Come on. W-What happened to your head? Metropolitan Museum of Art.|How may I help you? I know who set you up. What?! Who? Get in. So, what's up? The guy points a gun to my head and tells me|not to reopen the case. I'm thinking,|"Why is he doing this?" And then it dawns on me...|it's because he was involved. God damn him. I can't believe|Widow did this to me. Where do you think he is? I don't know. Probably downtown|at this club he hang out at called the Down Low. Got to get a confession. You can't go there. Eh, man, I'm serious. A white man at the Down Low is either a cop, a corpse,|or a crackhead. You can't even talk 'hood. I'll figure out something. Oh, and Howie told me|to tell you that "The cool points|are out the window, and you got him|all twisted up in the game." Really? That's the nicest thing|anybody's ever said to me. I'm gonna drop you off here because I got to get to the|office for a conference call. So, I'll see you|in a little bit. All right. Okay, cool. Yeah, freak boy,|I need a ride. Can you come now? Damn.|A straight, cold pimp. Looks like Gendler|beat us to her. I can assure you, Mrs. Arness, Peter Sanderson|is no longer affiliated with Tobias, Kline, and Barnes. Good. You have great ankles. What?! Were you a dancer? Yeah... well, yes.|I was. I bet you had great presence. Oh. How you two doin'? I hope I'm not interruptin'|anything. You're nasty. W-What are you doing here? Please, Mrs. Arness, I'm not|here to cause any trouble. Well, that would be a first. Julia? Julia? Julia a little tied up|right now. I just need you|to hear me out. Peter is not responsible|for any of this. I am. I mean,|the guy is a great lawyer. And he's one of the most|decent men I've ever known. - I doubt that's saying much.|- Shut up, fool. If only you knew the lengths|he's willing to go to to help a friend. Listen... sister... "Sister"? Why don't you go back|to Sanderson, and the "Jungle Fever" thing|the two of you got goin' on, before I call the cops? That's it, pretty boy. You ever met the big hurt? The who? I wouldn't do that|if I were you! And why not? You'll be instantly returned|to prison, where you belong. All right. That's it. - How dare you! To hell|with what I just said. You obviously|one of them hard learners. Howie? This is my house! I will not|be told to do what I... William. I'm Kate Sanderson.|Have you seen my kids? - Over there.|- Oh! Hey! Oh, God! What is going on? It's just the FBI, Mom. Yeah, they're just doing|a, like, search. For what? Well, for Charlene.|But she's not... The FBI is looking|for your nanny? Man, take your hands off me! I said, back off me, punk! That's what I mean.|You know what I'm sayin'? You don't want|none of this, now. Excuse me... Homeboys... Say, yo.|You got a bathroom in there? Say, yo, what's the dealio? Mmm. Who's your daddy? Back that booty up|and put it on the glass. Anybody here|dig what I'm sayin'? So... your nanny was doing time... for armed robbery. And then she broke out|of prison... ...and then she came here. But she's innocent... and now your dad|has gone off to... help her. SARAH: Sounds crazy, right? He's not the same guy anymore. Yeah, he's really cool. Say, any of you homies|holdin' extra Jimmy High? 'Cause I'm all about crunchin'|some of that boofanny tonight. If you harm one hair|on that dog's head... Yeah, "Harm a hair on the head."|You got me all nervous. - Hello? - Sarah?|- Oh, hey, Charlene. Put your daddy on the phone. No, he's not here.|He went out to find you. He went to find me?! All right. Howie, flip a "U."|We headed downtown. Downtown's where I live,|precious. - No! No! What's on your mind, player? What's with you? You been|drinkin' some "Hatorade"? What's up, Flavor?|Where you from? From the 'hood|and misunderstood. - How's your pimp hand, dog?|- Strong, baby, strong. Can you swerve, snowman? Do I got "honky"|spray-painted on my forehead? Of course I can.|I'm tryin' to peep a bowwow. If you so at home, man,|then dance with the woman. I can't. I got b'ness. Go on out there|and get your groove on. No, I can't. I got important|b'ness to take care of. I tell you, but... You'll get a life sentence|for this. You're a kidnapper|and a whore! Hey.|Keep talkin', tea bag. Ooh?! Tea bag! Yeah, you'll be gummin'|your bubbles. Yeah, oh! Terrible. Damn, boy, you lookin'|all kind of stupid. Really? 'Cause I got this outfit|from your mama. Yo, Eminem,|cut the wigger shit. I don't think you know|how much trouble you in. Fine, fine, fine. I'm here to talk business... private business. What fresh air is this? I don't see him anywhere. I think he's in that back room|over there. What do we do|with Her Majesty? Sit down. What? Sit it on down. Now, look, if you move, your little Willy|gonna be bridged down. - You dig?|- Dig. All right. Come on. Is that real? Uh, Seven and Seven, double. How you doin'? What?! I said, "How you doin'?" Oh, fantastic. You either the dumbest cracker|I ever met or you straight up... Hold that thought.|I love this song. Turn that off. - Get everybody up out of here. I'm telling you,|he is definitely in there. Okay, all right,|so he's in there, and then you go in,|and then what happens? Three seconds. - Why you here? I got a feeling you're sitting|on a hefty sum of stolen cash. You want to hide it,|you need a lawyer. What's with the phone? I'm calling in the cavalry. You'll go back to prison. So you wanna help me|launder my money? I can hide it|in an untraceable account in the Cayman Islands. All I want is $100,000. We both walk out of here|wealthier men. And I tell you where|Charlene is... that simple. You wearin' a wire? Me? No. Are you? Then...|then they kidnapped me. And they took my dog,|William. That's a damn shame. Oh, you don't care. You smokin', Grandma? Why not? - To hell with your proposition. Hold it. Charlene is ready|to roll over on you. She knows|who your accomplice was. - Oh, that's pretty funny.|- I'm not kidding. They're out in the parking lot|waiting for my signal and... and... and...|and the signal is... if I don't come back,|they call the FBI. There was no accomplice, fool. There was a girl in the photo. No, there was somebody|in a wig and a dress. You... You left her clothes,|the gun, and the money. See? You just too damn smart|for your own good. Look, we can't wait no more. Wait, wait. Charlene! Open up.|Widow wanna see me. Says who? Says Lene. Pete. Well, ain't this|a psychic moment? I was just comin' to see you. Come on, Widow.|This is between me and you. Let him go. No problem. Oh, shit. What... come on, now.|What are you doin'? Ugh! I got it. - Aim it, aim it, Howie!|- Yeah! Uh-huh!|Who got the gun now, huh? Who got that gun now?|Homie, that's right. Get y'all asses|on the ground! Asses on the ground|where I can see 'em, huh? Take him out! Ugh! Pussies. Ooh! - Ugh!|- Ooh. Ugh! Wasn't that fun? I'm just gonna roll up|on out of here. Thank you. - Aah!|- FBI! Everybody, freeze! Charlene! Charlene!|Oh, baby! Oh, oh, baby. Charlene. Son of a... Drop it! Oh, Charlene. What? Damn, dog. Hey, Howie, she's all right. Charlene... I... Do me a favor, precious. Don't ever scare me|like that again, or I'm gonna have to give you|a nasty spanking, if I'm not being too subtle. He's such a damn freak. Are you Sanderson? Yeah. Wait, wait.|She's innocent. Save it. I can prove it. Mr. Sanderson...|that was pretty ballsy. You'd make a hell of an agent. Oh, thank you very much,|but I don't think I did anything - an ordinary man wouldn't do...|- Thanks again. Mr. Sanderson... There you are. You have behaved abonidably. Aboni... Abomidably. - Abodi...|- Abominably. I know. - Shakespeare.|- Shakespeare. No, wait.|This is serious. And I'll have you dis... disboweled. Oh! Uh, disballed. Dis... Disbarred? Disbarred. Oh, to hell with it. I do believe I'm stoned. Just don't tell anybody|you ever saw me like this. Mrs. Arness... William. Oh, God,|you are an ugly dog... and heavy. Here, I got him. Thank you. Is there a 24-hour diner|around here? I know where one is.|I'll take you there. I'm dreadfully hungry. You guys okay? What do you think? Yo, be cool, G-mo. Yo, out back, G-mo. Full cheesy, homey. Well,|that's not good enough. You'll just have to keep|trying, won't you? I called Arness four times.|She'll only talk to Peter. Well, we're just gonna|have to keep him around. Oh, hey, guys. Peter. Did I mention|I'm going out on my own? You don't have the resources. Well, I have one|multibillion-dollar client. It's a start. And a partner. I'm all over it, G. Let's go. Excuse me. Peter,|we can talk about this. Ed, you can|kiss my natural black ass. Peter... Ashley,|who are you doing here? Oh, I was, uh, meeting,|uh, uh... - for my aunt's estate.|- About her aunt's estate. There was a codicil. Well, say goodbye|to half your stuff. I'll call you. Lookin' good, kids.|Almost there. Peter, your 4:00 is waiting|for you in your office. I don't have|any meetings today. I'm sorry. I didn't realize|I had an appointment. Hey. So, this is how a big-time|tax attorney lives, huh? This place is big pimpin',|P. Diddy. - How you doin'?|- I'm a'ight. I really wanted|to tell you again how much I appreciate|what you did for me. If I could only give you back|half of what you've given me. Please. We'll call it even.|Now give me a hug. Hey, white people don't hug. You ain't white. Well, I'm off-white. Good to see you. Kate... Hi. Um, oh, well, I'm, uh... I got to finish up|some things with Howie. Oh, Kate, this is Charlene.|Charlene, this is Kate. Hi. You've certainly been|shaking things up around here. Well, shakin'|is what I do best. It's a pleasure|to meet you, Kate. Thank you. And take care of him for me. Hi. Hi. So... what...|what brings you down? I mean, you know,|not what brings you down, but, I mean,|what brings you down here? Well, I was|just wondering, um... how often do you take|that shortcut past my house? Technically? Uh, well... uh, pretty much every day. Well, you know,|technically... That's stalking. It's kind of cute. Kate... There's something|I want to say to you. The cool points|are out the window, and I'm all twisted up|in the game. What does that mean? It means I love you. - Ohh!|- Ohh! Rastaman, hold still,|or you're gonna have these Jamaican beads|all over the floor. Yeah, here we go. All right, halfway done. What you think? Holler at your boy. - Hey.|- Nothin' is nothin'. Who's your daddy now? Boy, you are some kind|of freaky. |
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