I never want to see you again, asshole.
- Then get lost.
Go to hell, selfish fucking bitch.
- Shut up. You should talk.
Hi, I'm Max. The white one.
That brown peanut next to me
is called Jules. Yep, he was adopted.
Stupid cunt.
Not that it matters. He's my brother.
Homies for life.
Go fuck other guys, why don't you.
Goddammit.
My little guys, hey.
Just abandon your kids.
They'll raise themselves. Goddammit.
God... goddammit.
Guys, listen carefully.
Never ever, I mean never ever,
have a relationship.
OK? Never.
Right? All women are fucking whores.
They're only useful for fucking.
Other than that have nothing
to do with them. Got that? OK.
Hey, whore!
You're forgetting
your motherfucking kitchen machine.
Max, swear that you'll never
have a girlfriend.
I swear.
Me too.
Right. So this is me today.
Successful and everything.
Good job, nice house.
And I can sleep in every day.
Whoa, two fatalities, thirty injured
and a traffic jam of over 60 km.
Who cares?
I always walk to work.
10 DAY FILMS FOR 10
Yep, I work in the video store,
right below my home.
Living the dream. Getting paid
for watching movies all day.
And hoping I don't get any customers.
Fuck.
Ouch, my elbow.
- Sorry.
Thanks a lot.
- I said sorry, didn't I?
The Big Lebowski.
What a piece of shit.
Costa.
Isn't that the one in the snow
with all the skiing?
Definitely. Best Dutch movie ever.
You know what you can do?
You can put every bottle
in those crates.
And sweep up the glass, by the way.
Good luck.
There he is. My brother Jules.
Yep, he has people working
underneath him.
Assistant branch manager
of the stipmarket.
Free snacking all day, phoning
and slacking.
Niggaaaaah.
- Niggaaaaaaaaaaah.
Who would you bang? Doutzen Kroes
with full-blown AIDS, without a condom?
Or Viola Holt from the 1984 Playboy,
just hit by a truck...
...and dragged along for a mile,
but down there she's still perfect.
Is it really full-blown AIDS?
Or is Doutzen still at the HIV stage?
Jules, this isn't the deal. You know that.
Out of my office, OK?
Yes, full-blown AIDS.
But... how did she get it?
Unprotected butt sex with a hobo.
But Viola Holt is still
completely undamaged down there.
Nothing wrong with it.
- I'll do Doutzen.
Without a condom?
That's gross, you know.
So I was thinking,
let's party our asses off tonight, bitch.
No man, I'd planned to take it easy
this weekend.
No bitch, let's go.
Chicks are usually with a friend
who's less attractive.
Makes them feel good, I guess.
They always look better
next to the ugly one.
I bet that if you ran into a pretty girl
on her own, you wouldn't notice her.
Ugly chicks have to try harder, so
they're smarter, funnier and a better lay.
But what it comes down to: chicks are
always in pairs. Fucking perfect.
It'll be fine.
She's not worth it.
- Are you OK?
What's wrong?
- His girlfriend just broke up with him.
Oh, dear.
- On our birthday, of all things.
You're both having a birthday?
- Yeah, we're twins.
But he's imported from Mongolia.
Our birthdays happen to be
on the same day.
Well, happy birthday.
- Congratulations.
Can I get you a drink?
Yes, water, please.
I just started on antibiotics...
Really? Bartender,
four Long Island Iced Teas, please.
The Long Island Iced Tea.
It starts with ice in a long drink glass.
This cocktail contains four shots:
gin, vodka, white rum and tequila.
It's finished with a bit of cola.
Connoisseurs say it's about balance.
For us it's about
the enormous amount of alcohol.
Did you know we grew up
without a mother?
Oh, no.
- Jesus.
I say: Cheers.
- Cheers.
What?
- Don't tell anyone else, OK?
No, of course not.
A boiling hot beam of water
on her snatch?
Yeah, man.
It's not as if I deliberately
pick the less attractive ones.
But the pretty ones
always like my brother.
Maybe it's his color, I don't know.
Ah well, it makes for
interesting situations.
Gotcha niggah.
Ren?
No thanks.
- Gay.
Check it out.
Nola. From yesterday.
- Hi, Jules.
Jules, can you hear me?
- Bye.
That Nola had some beef sandwich, man.
A poorly packed suitcase.
What? Bad breath?
No, gay. Long pussy lips.
- Oh.
You know, as if she had
an upside-down rooster up her snatch.
Gross.
Suzanne has that too.
Hold on. Check it out.
Oh, man. Is that Suus?
- I filmed it. Secretly.
OK, is that your dick or not?
- Say what!
Say what.
Imagine you have to
screw that every day.
Every day the same fucking pussy.
You're right, man.
Fuck that relationship shit.
What do you mean?
Fuck you and your gay pact.
There's nothing wrong with a relationship.
You just have to...
...make sure you've got
your bitch under control. That's all.
Control your bitch
is what I'm saying.
Control your ho.
If Suzanne would ever...
Hi, sweetie pie.
- I thought we agreed you'd come by.
I was on my way, but...
- Bullshit!
What was that?
- Nothing.
I'll be right there.
- I'll be right there, OK?
OK, see you soon, babe.
- See you soon, babe. I'm a faggot.
See you soon.
- Whorel
Losers.
Dude!
Bro's before ho's, man.
She's not worth it. It'll be fine.
Is he all right?
- His girlfriend just broke up with him.
On our birthday, of all things.
You're both having your birthday?
- I'm adopted, dear boy.
He's from Turkey.
- Botswana.
Djibouti.
- He's an aboriginal.
Well, happy birthday.
- What?
Happy birthday!
Four Long Island Iced Teas, please.
Four Long Island Iced Teas, please.
Cheers.
- Cheers.
Max and Jules, happy birthday!
- Happy birthday.
Put it in my ass!
Any awesome movies released,
recently?
Yes, some have been released
a while ago.
Django is awesome.
Casa de mi Padre,
abstract shit with Will Ferrell.
And Ted from Seth MacFarlane.
It's awesome too.
- Ted.
Cool. We'll download them at home.
Sure. Fucking loser. Who the fuck
still rents movies at the video store?
See ya.
Anyway, I asked Suzanne...
I'm like: want something to eat too?
She said: No, I'm not hungry.
So I get a Serrano ham sandwich.
I was starving.
She's like: Can I take a bite?
I said: Sure, no problem.
Then that bitch
eats half of my sandwich.
Otherwise I would have ordered
two sandwiches!
So when I said something about it,
she's like...
Check this out.
What the fuck?
It's that Forrest Gump.
I told you about him before.
And usually he also...
There he goes.
- Oh, shit.
Hello.
Hello.
Did you happen to see a guy
who's not all there?
Shit.
Coming?
Sorry. Sometimes he loses control.
Right, Jordy?
Shall we take these two?
These two, please.
40 days in her hole...
Good choice.
You can take all of them.
No one ever rents them anyway.
- Really? That's so sweet. Thanks.
Thanks.
Bye.
Hold on.
Phone number?
Sorry. Jordy doesn't just
give his number to anyone.
And he's not attracted to guys, so...
Oh shit. Yes, I can tell.
What did we agree on?
- Sorry. Sure.
I need your number for the movies.
Or your customer card number,
but...
Your number would be easier.
- Right. Hand me your phone.
What's your name, by the way?
- Anna.
I'm Max.
I got her number, bitch.
Sorry. I'll be done in a minute.
- That's OK.
Jesus. Sorry. Are you OK?
- Sure.
Max.
- What are you doing here?
What the fuck are you doing?
106...
I was checking out the carpet.
It's quite worn out, guys.
We should put some money together.
But you two?
- Yeah, sorry.
Anna. Max, my brother.
We know each other.
- What?
Did you two ever?
Yes.
Kidding, sweetie.
I got her number yesterday.
- What the fuck?
For a couple of DVDs she got, but still...
- Too late, bitch.
Where did you meet her?
- Right here.
That bitch was looking for rice cakes,
or something.
That chick is fucking horny, man.
Really fucking horny.
Unbelievable. Every time.
Every time?
- A couple of times.
I know what you're thinking, but
don't worry. Everything's under control.
I'm actually done with her.
Niggah what!
Yo, motherfucking niggah
whaddup?
Hey, Max.
Hey.
Dude, what are you doing?
I thought you were done with her.
True, but I want to fuck her
one more time. Just once.
Get a Golden Retriever and a mini van
while you're at it.
What are you talking about?
Come on.
It's not a relationship.
Farewell sex. That's it.
Bam.
What are you doing?
I barely know you.
Seriously.
Are we doing something tonight
or are you and her?
Well, I... Oh shit, man.
I have to...
Be right back.
Where's he going?
- Something at the supermarket. Dunno.
Sorry.
A chunk came up.
That's easy. First Blood.
- What? Seriously?
Rambo Part I,
is my favorite movie too.
What? No way.
- Best film ever.
So fucking bad.
He just wanted something to eat.
- They drew first blood, not me.
Are you telling me
that 200 of our men against your boy...
...is a no-win situation for us?
You send that many,
don't forget one thing.
A good supply of body bags.
Look, I'm not really anti-relationships
or something, but...
...I'd never really want one myself.
It always ends in trouble.
I hate that claiming stuff.
You know. They always want to hold you
and touch you and shit.
Just give me space.
Most chicks are either annoying...
...or not that hot.
It's true.
Sorry.
What's keeping Jules?
He's been gone for a long time.
No idea.
I'm going up. Lie in his bed.
- Yeah, me too.
Not in his bed, of course,
but...
...in my own bed where I also...
So...
Good ni...
Sorry.
Anna, what is this?
Porn, Mieke.
It's the only thing that calms him down.
- Don't treat me like a fool.
You know the rules.
- So what should I do?
He loses it all the time.
- So give them sex movies and ideas?
What if they get babies?
- When did you take those from him?
Two days ago,
but this is hardly the time...
No, no, no!
No, no!
Go to sleep.
Can someone give me a hand?
Jordy, don't!
No!
Fuck!
Bart, you're not attending staff.
Let go of Jordy!
Hi.
- Hi.
Everything OK?
- Not really.
How come?
Jordy can't watch porn.
They'd rather put him in isolation.
Fucked up.
- Yeah.
He's so sweet,
but he transforms completely.
Empty the register, motherfucker.
- What the fuck are you doing?
Empty the register!
What? Is this it? Is this it?
- Calm down, man.
Jesus, what the fuck were you doing?
- Saving your life.
Oh, right. Thank you.
Rambo shit.
It was small, like a Nazi gun.
A Luger.
What happened?
- Your store was robbed, man.
By a junkie.
- Goddammit.
For how much?
- There was hardly anything in the register.
How much?
- I don't know.
Three hundred or something.
- Goddammit.
I think those Chinese have the money.
- Pardon?
Over there.
I don't know what goes on in there.
Shady, depressed characters enter
and walk out happy.
We've been watching them for a while,
but no proof yet.
But a lot of money
flows into that place.
I wonder how Anna's doing.
- Doing well, I heard.
Her arm's almost healed.
- How do you know?
Jules told me. Just talked to him.
He's hanging out with her.
That's why he couldn't make it.
He told me he wasn't doing anything,
because he has to get up early. Fuck.
He's having a relationship
with that Anna.
I smoked up with her all of last night
on the balcony.
She really is a relaxed chick.
And fucking hot.
- Sounds like you like her.
No man, but Jules should just stick
to the pact.
Ah, fuck it.
I'm whining. It's Jules.
Jules.
That shit will pass.
Yeah bitch, it'll pass.
I recognize the wrapping paper.
So I think I know...
Look at that. Looks exactly like Misty.
Whaddup, bitches.
- Hos.
Thirty.
Menopause.
- Westside.
Happy birthday.
- Yeah, happy birthday, dude.
Good outfit, man. Faggot.
Why are Dumb and Dumber here?
I thought you'd like it as well,
since you know them.
Higher.
I'm warning you:
If those two ruin my evening...
...you sleep on the couch for two weeks.
- What?
Make some Long Island Iced Teas,
faggot. And have one yourself.
No, we all know what happens
when Ren drinks.
Right, sweetie pie?
Did you know that his chick
broke up with him today?
Really?
- And on our birthday, of all things.
Your birthday?
hold me tight
gently put my head
on your shoulder
Need to take a leak.
- Sit down, OK?
My mother was suddenly
in front of me.
She stared at me for a long time.
Very weird.
And then I woke up.
Hey, man.
Oh, who's back?
- Yeah, bitch.
Bye.
How about tomorrow we?
- No way.
Where's my coat?
Ladies, thanks for your stupid party.
Why are you so quiet?
- I'm not really a morning person.
Are you a Leo? I'm a Libra.
We're a perfect match.
Whaddup?
Everything all right?
- We had a great time.
Sadly, Charlotte has to leave.
- My name is Eefje.
That's what I said.
Anyway, I have to leave.
I have to pick up Noah.
Who?
- Noah, my son. I told you, silly.
Ah, look at him.
Well, he's not going to be a model,
is he?
OK, go and pick up Noah.
Bye. I had fun.
Bye, Charlotte.
Where's the towel?
See that pile of towels?
There's one in the middle.
- Got it.
Dude, I thought you were back.
Hey, Max.
Nice evening last night, right?
Put it in at the bottom.
- That's what your mom said last night.
My mother is dead.
Thanks.
Sorry.
You have to eat Jenna Jameson pussy
after she's been raped...
...and left for dead in broken glass
by three seropositive Zimbabwaneans.
Or you have to French-kiss
Ron Brandsteder for 20 minutes...
...after he's performed oral sex on a turd.
And you have to choose.
What would you do?
- Dude, I don't know.
I'm seriously considering
kissing Ron Brandsteder.
But... a problem.
I was just talking to Anna...
- Such fun.
Discussing names for your future kids?
No, gay.
She mentioned a Jordy.
Some sort of retard.
- Rainman. Autistic.
Yeah, whatever.
He just beat the fucking crap
out of someone.
Real Badr Hari shit.
- So?
Apparently she needs porn for that.
- And?
Can you bring her some.
- You do it.
I promised I'd drop by,
but I really can't leave now.
Dude, cut the crap.
You were going to dump her.
Why does she keep coming back?
And why do I have to play the whiner?
Relationship, bitch.
Those cupcakes?
Did you check the stockroom?
Package for Anna.
Leave it with me.
- I have to give it to her personally.
Is that right?
Show me your visitor's badge.
Visitor's badge?
- Yes, visitor's badge.
A visitor's badge.
- A visitor's badge, yes.
Without one you can't go in.
Well, then can I please
get a visitor's badge.
Certainly.
You have to request one in writing.
Fuck, dude, I just have to
give this package to Anna.
What are you going to do about it?
- What about you?
Shine a light in my eyes?
You don't even have a gun.
I thought Jules...
Bart, Max is helping me with something.
- That's fine.
I really have to go soon, you know.
Jordy grabbed Jeffrey's hair
and dragged him through the room.
When we tried to calm him down
he bit off a piece of Jeffrey's ear.
And swallowed it.
Eventually, they put him in the time-out.
Intense.
No!
Look.
Nice, huh?
Why's he wearing a bear suit?
- We're working on a play.
Goldilocks and the Three Bears.
It's a big deal around here.
Each year we enter the national
contest for the mentally disabled.
Plays and stuff.
They think it's awesome.
So do I.
We've been rehearsing all year.
- OK.
Anna...
Make sure Rico is on time
for occupational therapy.
I'm taking him there in a minute.
What was that?
- It's Jordy.
He's singing.
Metallica.
OK, don't forget Rico.
- I'll take care of it.
I have to come up with something
to replace that porn.
Are you OK?
Max?
Whaddup bitch? Niggah.
I can't do this anymore.
What?
- What?
What did you say?
- Every time I see her, it goes wrong.
I shouldn't see her anymore.
Just ignore her.
- Ignore? Good idea.
My parents did that with me.
Do you happen to have
Ass Eaters Unanimous 19?
With Sasha Grey.
Where she stink-fingers that guy's ass.
He likes it a lot.
Whaddup bitch?
- Hi.
I'll make him an offer he can't refuse.
Goddammit.
There's a bunch of movies missing,
dammit.
One moment, please.
Which movies?
- Here.
Nazi Sluts, Raping Midgets II,
Stink...
That whole bunch.
Haven't you seen them?
No.
- Jesus Christ, someone reserved them.
He's picking them up soon, goddammit.
- Who the fuck reserves porn?
I don't give a shit. Just find them.
Money is money. Goddammit.
One moment.
Fucking hell.
Anna speaking.
- Good afternoon, this is Videocorner.
I see that you still have
a number of our videos.
What?
- It concerns...
Nazi Sluts, Raping Midgets II,
Stinky Fingers, HI V Spreaders...
...Ass to Ass, Rimming Racists,
Dogs on Negro Hos Illl...
...Poop Shooters Vll,
This Whore Sees a Doctor...
...Drunk Anal Squirters II,
Raw Dawgz, Scissoring Grannies...
...There's a Black Man in My Wife's Ass,
Schindler's Fist...
...and Two In the Pink
and a Group of Boyscouts in the Stink.
Jeffrey? Yuck, that's dirty.
Give them to me.
Licorice.
- It's not.
Licorice.
- Look at me. It's not licorice. Come on.
Very good.
Can you return them as soon as possible?
They have been reserved.
Max?
- Today, please, if that's possible.
We're having an outside day
and we're going...
Fine, thank you.
See you soon.
The movies!
- Just leave them there, OK?
Max?
- Thank you.
I can see your knee.
Bye, bye.
Whaddup?
Hey, man. Let's hang out tonight.
- I can't.
I'm training a new team.
I miss you, dude.
- You miss me? Wow. OK.
Did anyone help you unpack
those boxes?
What? When?
- Let's see...
After you moved to the country
of Gaylordia.
Faggot.
- Your mother is a faggot.
Sure. OK.
Bitch niggah!
Want to have some fun?
Seriously? I said 'fun'.
- Yes.
This is fun to you?
A fair.
How old are you?
Yes! Max!
Fuck!
Thanks, retard.
Max!
Again with that sweater?
You were going to throw it out.
I think about you all day long.
- What?
We're going on the bumper cars. See ya.
- Be careful.
I want to drive. Move.
Where's the gas pedal?
Ouch!
Jerk!
Don't sit there laughing.
Do something.
It's so great that you don't get involved.
Just walk away
and show who's the most mature.
That's great. You're great.
Go away.
- No, come here. Kisses.
Kisses.
Help.
Hey, sweetie.
Hi, honey.
We're back together.
This is Eefje, a coworker.
Prick!
Whoa. You fucking saved me.
You're talking to me again.
- What?
You're talking to me again.
- Yeah, well...
I wasn't feeling well. A bit sick, so...
I didn't want you to get sick too.
- Yeah, right. Thanks so much.
Candy cane?
Come on.
- No.
Wimp.
- I don't do that kind of shit.
Why not?
When I was 12
I entered a talent show at school.
He's got a boner.
That's why I'll never ever
go in front of an audience again.
Get AIDS!
Robin Hood!
Shit.
Jordy, let go.
It was awesome last night.
- Yeah.
It was a lot of fun.
I really like you.
That kiss wasn't a good idea, was it?
It was just the moment.
Of course, the moment.
- And...
The situation.
- The situation.
It's getting more serious with your brother.
- Yeah, same here.
It was a mistake.
- I think so too. A mistake.
I mean, we're not really
a perfect match.
And I didn't find your kissing
all that great.
I expected something better.
And it didn't smell all that fresh.
Foul.
Nothing personal or anything,
but I agree.
Clear.
- Yes.
Well, then...
...I'll see you soon, probably.
Thanks for everything, OK?
- Yes, OK.
Kissed?
The whore.
- Shut up.
She's a ho.
I went too far.
Niggah!
Hey, man. We need to talk. I have to...
- Sure, tonight. I'll get some shrooms.
What?
- Shrooms, bitch.
I have to tell you something.
- I'm just going to do it.
What?
- Living together with Anna.
It's become a relationship, anyway.
So we might as well live together.
She makes classic quesadillas.
Shrimp.
I'm going to eat that all the time.
And...
...living together.
The baby elephant is cast out
by its family.
The calf doesn't know what to do
when the herd moves on.
A cry of despair,
but his call isn't answered.
Hey, be careful, goddammit,
that's a classic.
Sorry, I'm taking this one too.
- You're such a faggot.
I paid for it, you know.
You can have the car.
I'm not talking about
that stupid TV or car.
I'm talking about our pact, godda...
- Oh, right. That stupid pact.
We couldn't stick to it forever.
It had to happen some day. Look...
I didn't expect this either,
but it just feels right. I think.
And maybe it's time...
...you grow up too.
Let's do this one together, honey.
Fuck.
This is one of the Chinese.
- You're kidding.
Great deduction.
What happened?
- What?
What happened?
We're very busy investigating that.
So if you can step behind the tape
like everyone else...
Yes but, I work here.
Oh, you work here.
Allow me to congratulate you.
You're unemployed.
- What?
Your boss committed armed robbery here
last night.
What?
- Poor Chinese family.
Didn't know what was coming.
Did you know they gave
free meals to addicts?
At least they fought back.
Hey...
...just leave it.
He was bankrupt.
Not surprisingly. Who still rents
movies at a video store?
I download them. Why pay for
something you can get for free online?
Right?
Could you give these to Jordy, please?
No.
Really?
You too?
She wouldn't mind
getting together with me.
But she knows I'm married.
And she's not the type
to stir up trouble...
...in a so-so marriage.
That's been a while.
It's good.
I don't mind at all
that security isn't allowed guns.
I mean...
...it isn't as if I don't want
to fire a gun some day.
A Glock.
Super reliable.
A Magnum .44 Colt Anaconda.
It's for Jordy.
No one has to know.
Jules, register 1.
Jules, register 1, please.
Well...
What do you think?
Hello? Jules?
Jules, register 1.
Hey, man.
I'm in love with Anna, man.
Yeah, right.
And this is my new fag buddy.
He's got a pretty pink pooper.
Seriously.
Sorry, sir, are these shrimp chips
on sale?
I can't help it. I know it's fucked up,
but I think she's...
...awesome and hot.
We hung out a few times
and I liked here more and more.
I tried to stop it, but...
We kissed.
Dude, what the fuck?
- Motherfucker!
First you're whining like a bitch
when I move in with her.
'Our pact, our pact!'
Our fucking pact.
And then kissing with my chick.
You filthy...
Fag!
You have no right to speak anyway.
Stop, stop.
Stop.
You can't do that shit.
I'm your brother, dude.
I'm your fucking brother.
- Fuck you.
You're not even my real brother.
A fucking adoptee. You were bought.
Fuck you, faggot!
- Fuck you.
Oh God, Imca Marina.
You're still here?
What did you think? That peanut
must know about shrimp chips?
Oh, shit.
So you told him?
You've got the chicken's anus exactly...
What's that stupid dog doing here?
- Well...
Since Jules has moved...
...and we still have to pay
my father the rent...
...and I talked to Suus about it...
...we felt... she felt it was a good idea...
- Seriously?
I don't want to bring it up all the time...
...but you pee on it
and I have to sit on it. Get it?
Max, can you make sure
you put the toilet seat up when you pee?
Fuck this shit.
Digital? Digital, my ass.
There's nothing but static.
Is that so? Just take care of it.
Mongoloid bitch.
Hi, dad.
- What happened to you?
Thank you for watching Lingo.
An S.
S, T, I, N, K.
It's 'stoma', stupid dick.
Stem.
S, T, A...
But...
What happened?
Between you.
Did your brother...
Right, of course.
Fucking TV.
God... goddammit.
Hi, sweetheart.
Am I as good a kisser as my brother,
or not?
Sorry, sweetie.
I understand if you're angry.
I'd go nuts if you'd do
something like that.
If I'd do what?
I wouldn't be able to handle it.
No, no, fuck it.
I'm not super angry.
I'm not like:
'Whoa, slut.
What the hell are you doing?'
'You're causing me pain.'
Hey, he's my brother. That's it.
- I know.
I'm really very sorry.
- Forget it.
The vole will stay forever
with the female he lost his virginity to.
Honeybun, what's your password?
Password? Why?
- My computer is still in a box.
I need to e-mail something.
- I could enter it myself.
Why? Don't you trust me?
- Sure I do.
But it's just...
OK, it's: RENE...
...6969.
Thank you.
- OK.
Who is this?
- Who?
Who is this?
- Huh?
That's Sasha Grey.
She's a porn star.
It's not her real name.
She's actually called...
- Why do you watch porn?
Why do I watch porn?
Why the fuck are you interrogating me?
- Sorry, I...
I just have to get used
to that living together.
You're right. I'm nagging.
Let's stop talking about it.
- No, let's...
Seriously?
- I'm going to ride Misty.
Have fun riding Misty.
Get lost.
Do you still find me attractive?
- Of course.
I just don't know.
I used to be enough
and now you need that filthy broad...
...and filthy porn.
I can't do this anymore.
- What are you talking about?
It's over.
What?
Come on out. How much longer
are you staying in there?
Just put it down.
I'll get it in a minute.
Well, happy birthday, OK?
You and your brother.
I'm in love.
So?
It's Jules chick and I know what you
used to say about relationships.
Yes, never have one.
Nothing but trouble. See?
Well, as Rick James used to say:
Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Especially in combination
with strippers and so on.
Not as if they were super hot, though.
The mood lights they usually
shine on them...
...does those girls a lot of good.
It gave me a fright when the work lights
went on at the end of the evening.
Difficult skin, you know.
Pits all over the place.
Yeah, so?
- Huh?
Right. Well, despite everything...
...your mother tried
to keep things together.
For you and your brother.
It's because...
...I literally never opened the door again
that you didn't see her anymore.
Listen, Max...
...I was just an asshole.
Your mother was the nicest woman
in the world.
It's just that it took a few years
before I realized that.
Once she was in the hospital
and I wanted to tell her that...
...she never wanted to see me again.
I was simply much too late.
But that Anne or Anna?
Anna.
Is she the one?
Then what are you still doing here
with your dad?
You turned 30 today, goddammit.
Better go and fight for her.
You don't get a second chance that easily.
Look at me.
Even better: talk to your brother first.
No, even better: Shave off
that gnome beard first.
Happy...
Shit, honey. This is not... it's not...
How are you?
Can I go home now?
Anna, wait!
She was the last one.
The very last one.
She wasn't the only one?
- Yes.
No.
What the fuck are you doing here?
Get lost, bitch
Anna just dumped me.
Happy now?
If you hadn't kissed her,
everything would be fine.
Dude, bro's before ho's.
- Bro's before ho's. Just shut up.
Hey! I can see your dick.
Happy birthday.
Same to you, man.
It'll be fine. It will.
Are you OK?
- His girlfriend just broke up with him.
And it's our birthday.
I'm giving you a free show.
I missed you, man.
- And I you.
I fucked everything up.
With Anna, with you.
Anna is fucking incredible,
but relationships aren't my thing.
Maybe she deserves...
Maybe she deserves someone...
...like...
What?
Thanks.
There you go.
Happy birthday!
Big kiss, Mercedes.
Happy birthday.
Niggah what!
- How the fuck did you get here?
I do not know.
I have no idea how I got here.
I just came from...
- It's over with Suzanne, bitch.
Fuck that, ho.
Fuck the ho.
Really?
- Yeah, man.
Where are you going?
Can I come?
Enter, Jordy, Jeffrey.
Jordy, Jeffrey?
Where are Jordy and Jeffrey?
And Paula?
We'll have a five-minute break.
Hey Anna, I have to tell you something.
Hold on.
Jordy, stop.
Guys, stop.
Say what?
Towerbridge. Classic.
Hi, Anna.
What is this?
- Sorry, I meant well.
You did it too.
- 'You did it too'?
My choice. My responsibility.
What's going...
Get your stuff.
- This isn't my fault.
Never mind. You're fired.
And the contest?
- You should have thought of that sooner.
You can't do this to them.
- Sure I can.
You have five minutes to get your stuff.
End of discussion.
I just wanted to help.
Fuck you and your fucked up family.
You expect me to help you again?
With those sexually frustrated
autistic freaks.
Hey, Max.
Sure.
You told her.
You told her, niggah.
You told her.
Hey, bitches.
Wake up.
Yo, Bart.
Think we can sneak them out for a day?
Step on it.
Yes ma'am, I know it's tomorrow,
but I...
Yes, I know it's short notice, but...
Fuck, fuck!
Ma'am?
Could I enter one more group
for tomorrow, please?
Good.
Thank you.
Sleep well, son.
Hands on top of the blankets, OK?
- I know.
Where were you guys?
- Going for ice cream.
Ice cream?
- Ice cream.
Ice cream?
- Ice cream, yes.
You can't just disappear with them,
darn it.
You are completely right,
for the entire 100 percent.
We can't take them out again tomorrow.
Shit.
Know that movie
Escape from Alcatraz?
Do I know it? It's my favorite movie.
With Whoopi Goldberg.
No, with Clint Eastwood.
Clint Eastwood!
Ren, are you OK?
- Yeah.
I jumped off the balcony.
- That's pretty high, dude.
Two storeys, niggah. Absinthe.
- One storey, you know.
In that movie these guys
escape from prison.
The Alcatraz guys don't find out
until it's too late.
Jordy, wake up.
Jordy?
Bart, is it going to work out?
- We'll be fine.
Let's go, bitch.
- Yeah.
Why the fuck are you driving,
you drunk faggot?
I'll walk, OK? With my broken foot.
Does one of you know
where they went?
Jeffrey was talking...
- Yes, hello?
Good morning.
- Police?
Great job with the parking.
The Dandelion?
- Yes.
Thank God.
Hey, Duo Penotti.
Nice to see you again.
- Nice to see you again.
Where do you know her from?
- She wrote that card with her pussy.
What are you doing here?
- I help here every year.
Snow White is my brother.
What are we doing here?
- Just sit down. It's a surprise.
Dudes, hurry. We only have...
Ren?
What the fuck?
You can't do this shit.
Autistic.
Prettiest Snow White I've ever seen.
It's time for the final performance
of this beautiful afternoon.
Here are the boys and girls
from the Dandelion.
Give them a big hand.
Hey, drifter.
Get the hell out of our village.
I'm looking for something to eat.
- Get lost.
We don't need your kind here.
Oh, no. He's dead.
Over there.
Shit.
What's going on?
Hey, come on, man! Goddam...
Hey, come on!
Goddammit, filthy pig.
Sir, stay where you are.
Hello son, you have to stop
killing police officers.
They drew first blood,
not me.
Sure.
Put it down.
Don't panic, people.
I'm security.
And let him go.
Whisky.
Anna.
Max.
Sure.
Sorry, I'm a bit nervous.
It will probably sound gay, but...
Dear Anna, first off
I want to say sorry.
For the porn DVDs and everything.
Well, I wanted to help Jordy and you.
Anna, wait.
I get that you're angry, but at me.
Don't be angry at him.
I'm not made for that relationship shit
with only one chick forever.
I'm not made for romantic dates.
I'm not a buddy for life
you can share everything with.
I don't consider you in bed.
I'm not made for eternal faithfulness
and growing old together.
I'm not that kind of dude.
But he...
...he is.
Anna, I mean...
...I want...
- What did you think?
That you could use them
to get me here?
Those sexually frustrated
autistic freaks?
Walther P5, motherfuckers!
Fuck the police.
Fuck the police.
I was born in jail,
you don't know me.
I love open relationships.
Good.
You're under arrest
for suspected kidnapping.
Oh, sorry.
Are you OK?
Oh man, I shot your leg.
Fuck!
6 WEEKS LATER
Yeah, niggahs.
We did our time.
Thuglife.
Now what?
Shit, out of juice.
- Mine too.
Sorry, may we use your phone?
Max!
Max!
Hey, Jordy. Everything OK?
Bro's before ho's.
Sure.
Those dudes did nothing
but talk about you.
I thought you should hear this from me...
While you were in prison
I fell in love.
With Rick.
Rick?
- Rick Brandsteder.
The son of that turd licker?
Of course not.
- Fucking bitch.
Who do you think you're fucking with?
Say hello to the friend.
Jordy, it's: Say hello to my little friend.
Stay hello with the little friend,
Tony Montana!
Perfect.
Sure.
Who'd have thought that would work.
All that movie violence.
Shit, go. They'll be right here.
Ladies, could you start the show?
Shit, man. Fucking 30.
The beginning of the end.
I'll probably be a yes-nodding
stay-at-home dad in a few years.
Cheers.
I'll have two kids, a mini van
and a gay-looking Golden Retriever.
But fuck it.
With Anna, I don't give a shit.
hold me tight
gently put my head
on your shoulder.
hold me tight
and softly caress my hair
hold me tight
sometimes it all gets a bit too much
then all I want
is your gentle touch.
Ren, do you want to marry me?
Yes.
Suppose you have to choose:
Those mud flaps of Suzanne's
in your face, or...
The horse.
- Me too.
The path of the righteous man
is beset on all sides...
...by the inequities of the selfish
and the tyranny of evil men.
Jaws. Yay.
Sure.
Blessed is he who in the name
of charity and good will...
...shepherds the weak
through the valley of darkness.
For he is truly his brother's keeper
and the finder of lost children.
And fight.
Adrian!
- Rocky.
Adrian!
- Rocky.
Adrian!
- Rocky.
They may take our lives,
but they'll never take our freedom!
And I will strike down upon thee
with great vengeance and furious anger...
...those who try to poison
and destroy my brothers.
This one is for Gradje cunt!
No one touches Maaskantje.
Fucking retard!
This big an explosion.
OK, put your mouth on the curb.
Put your mouth on the curb.
OK and now say good night.
And you will know my name is the Lord
when I lay my vengeance upon thee.