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Buffalo Bill and the Indians, or Sitting Bull's History Lesson (1976)
Ladies and gentlemen
your attention please. What you are about to experience is not a show for entertainment. It is a review of the events that made the American frontier. In less than 15 years, this nation will celebrate the 20th century. We do not know what awaits us in the future but we do know the past that laid the foundation. And that foundation was not built from heroes but from the anonymous settler. Their home was but a shack roofed in with sod. One door shut out the wind and storm one window greeted the dawning day. These brave souls survived not only nature but the savage instincts of man. Paving the way for the heroes that endured. Get the rifle! So welcome to the real events enacted by men and women of the American frontier. To whose courage strength, and above all, faith this piece of history is dedicated. Or: Cease action! From the beginning... one... two... Are you in costume? I want everybody in costume now. Mr. Salsbury! Yes? What is it? A horse stepped through him. Don't touch him. Get Eats Rabbit to the dispensary. His name is Brown Horse. Be careful with him. Tell Joy not to get on the horse from the back. Doesn't look authentic. I was thinking of setting the hut on fire. Not a bad idea. So one day I was walking through the camp. I saw this scrawny looking kid under a wagon. I take one look at him and I know I can make him a star. I ask him his name. He says, "Cody, Bill Cody." I say, "What do you do?" He says "I'm a scout and a buffalo hunter." Well, I want to write about somebody. I had all these new plots for Hickok but I was mad at him. So I say to the kid "Your name is now Buffalo Bill and in 6 months, the whole country will know about you." At a church service in Deadwood I met and rubbed elbows with a young man named William F. Cody. I was so impressed by his skill as a marksman by his success as a hunter that I named him "Buffalo Bill." Nate, take a look. She's doing good with her left hand. Show him, honey. Beautiful. Just like the old missy. The stories were a big success. The kid is scared to death about the legend I created but ex cited about his new fame. And I say one thing just one thing "Bill, any youngster figures to set the world on fire best not forget where he got the matches. I want you to back me up on this one against Bill. Which is why you've gotta make it clear to Bill how serious it could be. Are you listening to me, Nate? Ex cuse me, we're trying to have a conversation about Annie Oakley. I don't want to push you, but I am her husband and have a solemn duty... Dammit, are you gonna tell him or not? Maybe you should tell him yourself, Frank. What can I do for you? All right, I will. Major Burke's in there with him... Oh yeah? It's damn important. Good to see you, Frank. My glass suddenly got empty. Could you put a couple of fingers in there? Thank you, Frank. My pleasure. If you don't want to play Mexicans I've got other people. We still want to be part of the show. You do? As Mexicans? No... I used to play a colored. Do I look like a colored? No, sir. When I had to play a colored I was a colored. Good you can be Rodriguez and Ricardo. Or "Los latiguerros Mexico" that has to do with whips. Frank would you mind gettin' out of my... Conference, Bill. ...my conference here and waitin' like the others? Ed! Yes, sir? I thought I said no interruptions. You gotta honor my wishes. Adios, pard. Wish me luck. You got me, you don't need luck. And anything historical is mine. Everything historical is yours, Bill. Going past the dispensary? Yeah, come on. Major! Yes? "Bull's eye. Heroic villains. Revolutionize. Injuns. Whites." What's the plot, Major? You string those pearls together and write a unique Buffalo Bill fable. Let me read it when I get back. I'll even give you the legend. Enemies in '76, friends in '85. Ah, Shakespeare of the half dime. Sit down. Something's up, Ned. Bill sent Burke out of here on the fly. Any ideas? Burke gave me a few clues. Injuns and whites heroic villain, 50 bucks a week foes in '75, friends in '86. Foes in '75... Friends in '86... Bill's in the big time now. He can afford to spend $50 a week. Now tell me what Injun villain is worth that much? Sitting Bull! Is he tame? What about the army? The army would love it. They can't shoot him. Not until the Sioux sign the treaties. So they make a fool of him in a Wild West show. A rock ain't a rock once it's gravel. What'd he mean by "rock and gravel?" That he's lost his power. Authors always have their literalisms. I hear the new act is General Custer's brother. That's not what we heard. What'd you hear? We know who it is, Eddy. Who? Sitting Bull. Is he interested in the show business? If he wasn't he wouldn't have become a chief. In my youth I fought with a young brave of the Sioux tribe named Standing Bull. And I beat him. When he sat on the ground after the fight was over and swore revenge on me by all the Gods of heaven and hell I laughed at him and called him "Sitting Bull." I tell you, there's no business like show business. People say that Bill's destroyed his reputation by drinking. It ain't so. He wouldn't let anything harm his troop. So you can put those stories to rest. But Bill's drinking that's a different matter. 2 months ago, Nate Salsbury asked Bill to stop drinking. And Bill promises solemnly to never be seen drunk again. Till one day Bill says to Nate he's been giving it some thought and he'll need at least one drink a day. Of course Bill's daily ration comes in a glass the size of a small ship. Ladies and gentlemen America's national entertainer. Put it together for William F. Cody Buffalo Bill! Great start. See that girl who works in the laundry over there? I saw here the other day, between the tents... hugging a man. Don't talk to Annie while she's shooting. You're shaking. Honey, I'm fighting the wind. Get everybody to the podium. The entire company to the podium. You look very stylish, Missy. We thought we'd bitten off more than was chewable. And that by enlarging our show we had possibly disimproved it. Oh, that's fine, really fine. Bill, I have got to talk to you. We got a serious problem. Ned Buntline's back again. Why didn't you tell me? ...even down to the Indians. Watch this. Now, Nate Salsbury doesn't long wind. But he want's to say he's proud that you're proud to be part of America's national family. I know you'll be upset if he writes anything harmful about our Annie. Buntline is here. Say the word and I'll have him removed. I couldn't do that, Nate. Look, get rid of him without me telling him. And don't tell me. What's going on over there? It's Brown Horse's funeral. He died three days ago. Wasn't he Shoshone? Yes. I won the medal of honor for killing every Shoshone in a raiding party. Doesn't seem long ago. You rode into the valley of death and rode out again. The last thing a man wants to do is the last thing he does. That was the best rehearsal yet. Your entrance was tremendable. That was a good idea of yours. Giving the Injuns slower horses. Bill? Money in the bank. Remember what I told you about telling me. I won't tell you. Business is good. And it's getting better. That's 'cause times are bad and getting worse. Show business flourishes when times are bad. I hope it stays that way. Well, if it ain't nervous Nate. You're not doing anybody a favor by being here. I ain't in the favor business. I want you to leave my camp, now. It surely is your camp, ain't it? And you're doing a fine job. Better than I could. What a citizen you've made of Bill. Doesn't seem like the same man. Never looks bad in public. All I care about is the Wild West. We're going to Codyfy the world. Why didn't I think of that? Because I tell him the truth. And in the end we always agree. If two partners always agree then one of them ain't necessary. We just signed the most futurable act in our history. I don't want problems. Who's the act? Sitting Bull. That's quite a coup. But you tell Bill Cody that I don't leave until he personally invites me out. The great chief of the Sioux tribe Sitting Bull, is here with us. And he'll be in the same arena with the noblest white skin of all. I'm speaking about... ...the great counterpoint... Sitting Bull and William F. Cody! Nate, John's going to ride to the top of Bill's list for this one. Charm, sincerity, sweetness and youthfulness speak of the man as the recreation of God in human form. Uncle Will you only got a few minutes. He must be the big one in the red blanket. No ordinary Indian. I ain't buying no ordinary Indian. Go help Nate with the welcoming committee. Great, great event. He's got more scalps than any other Indian chief alive. Ready? No.4, "Major Burke's Return." We have met the enemy and he is ours. That gentle Sweeny a melody for every momentous moment. Where's Bill? I don't know. Come here and look at Sitting Bull. That sumbitch must be 7 feet tall! He's getting smaller every year. I'm ready to dispose of my prisoner. McLaughlin, you are now in Codyland. Sitting Bull is no prisoner, he is a star in the Buffalo Bill heavens. He's a murderer and my responsibility till I turn him over to Cody. Let me introduce Mr. Nate Salsbury. Nate, this remarkable character is James McLaughlin. I trust you had a pleasant trip. I hate horsebacking, especially to deliver Indians to some circus. The Wild West Show is not a circus. This is show business and Buffalo Bill has an unerring sense of theatrical timing. That's my star. He belongs to all of us, Nate. Our star. America's. Chief Sitting Bull Killer of Custer. I hope you had a comfortable journey, Major. Gentlemen, this is a moment fraught with friendship with history humming harmonic overtones. Bill, I have the distinct pleasure of presenting Chief Sitting Bull. Chief, I'm pleased to present to you the Honorable William F. Cody Buffalo Bill! I would like to congratulate you on your arrival and extend a titanically momentous welcome to Buffalo Bill's Wild West. Now me and my staff are the best at what we do. And what we do is make the best look better. Hiya, Chief! It's the runt. My name is William Halsey. Sitting Bull speaks through me. His long incarceration has emptied his strength and he wishes to rest. What's incarceration? Jail. Halsey's a white name, isn't it? Got some white blood in you, Halsey? Halsey, tell your chief that the people standing here are part of the finest spectacle in show business. I've watched them grow from plain, raw talent to personages of importance. Tell your chief we can do that for him, too. And after on season in this show he'll never be mistaken for a below average run of the mill Indian chief. Plus he'll have something to fall back on in his later years. Long trip, huh, Chief? I just wanted to welcome you here to Buffalo Bill's Wild West. You'll find it ain't all that different from real life. Gentlemen, Injuns... Why didn't you tell me which one he was? How big is he off the horse? Don't worry. He's big enough to fill the arena. So Sitting Bull's the little fellow. He doesn't look so savage. I'll sleep with a shotgun anyway. Sitting Bull's famous for scalping folks in their beds. I hope Bill can handle him. I don't think it disappropriate to play a personal chord here. We all know sociable chaff is cheap but history... ...real history... is hard come. The man I'm about to celebrate is not a mere personation of a patriot but the true monarch of genuity. Scout, show man family person, valued partner... America's National Entertainer William Frederick..."Bill"... Sitting Bull won't live with the other Indians. What was that? Sitting Bull doesn't seem to like his recommodations. What's wrong? He didn't say why. He wants to live across the river. He wants to live across the river! If you're smart you'll lock them dog eaters in the stockade. Nobody can cross that river. Impossible. We've already lost 3 horses, 6 Blackfeet and a bargeload of show equipment, worth $ 16000. Impossible to cross, huh? That's exactly where I want him on that flat ridge there. That way I can watch him all the time from my chair. The difference between a white man and an Injun in a situation like this is us whites are smart enough to know an Injun always turns down your first offer. Laugh it up, boys. Uncle Will how did Sitting Bull cross the river? Shall we call for help? We are the help. Shouldn't we holler for help? I'll handle this. Bill, Sitting Bull's coming here with his whole group. Our unpredictable friends seem to be on the warpath. I see them. They crossed the river again and they ain't even wet. They did, huh? We're with you, Bill. Sonia, finish that later. Well, Chief... A twilight raid, huh? What's on your mind? Sitting Bull is here by the will of the Great Spirits. By their will he is chief. His heart is red, sweet, for whatever passes licks him with his tongue. The bears taste the honey and the leaves lick the sky. The Great Spirits have chosen Sitting Bull as leader of their land. Halsey tell Sitting Bull that Buffalo Bill says his leaves can turn how he wants, so long he knows how the wind is blowing. I think I gave him back the same murky logic he gave us. What Buffalo Bill means... He doesn't need an interpreter. Buffalo Bill means that Sitting Bull is here to relive his history for thousands of paying customers. Sitting Bull says history is simply disrespect for the dead. When did he say that? He's not even listening. Sitting Bull's mind is rested and he's ready to negotiate. What? That's been done. Right, Burke? Sitting Bull wants blankets. They're cold. Couldn't we write 8, 10 blankets into the deal? Sitting Bull wants blankets for all his people. Hold on. What do you think this is? An Army surplus store? There are only 106 Hunkpapa Sioux left at Grand River. 106? God, Burke, five years ago we counted 10000 braves alone. Mr. Halsey, we're delighted to give the blankets as a gift to those people. Burke, get a story out on this right away. Splash it over the front pages. "The benevolence of Buffalo Bill." A fascinating follow up to today's events, Chief. Negotiations settled. See that he doesn't steal anything. Sitting Bull want 6 weeks salary sent to his people now. He wants what? I thought Burke took care of that. Music box. Makes music. Halsey, there's no prepayment without a contract. And he will own his own photographs. Like hell! I own all rights. Sitting Bull says his face belongs to him and he owns his photographs. My ass! Nate! That's robbery, and he knows it! I won't put up with it! We won't put up with it. It's bedlam in here. I'm going to take a nap. Margaret! Stop that singing. You getting' sharp with me, Bill? You see? You've upset Buffalo Bill. Halsey, tell the chief we pay for work performed. If he wants to sign a six month contract, that's different. No contract. Why not? All the other top acts have them. He won't sign what he may not honor. Why couldn't he? Sitting Bull stays only until he sees the great father. The President? Yes. Did Burke promise you that? Sitting Bull no longer accepts promises from white men. His dreams told him he would meet the great father here. He is here because he dreamed he would meet President Cleveland? Dead on, Bill. What does she say this time? "Dear husband, your deeds as a frontier hero are pale compared to your adventures with opera singers and milk maids." Dead on, Bill! "You are also the cheapest man who ever lived and a profane drunkard." That's Mr. Oakley. The name is Butler. "I have instructed my lawyers to draw up divorce articles ensuring our separation and making me a rich woman." I want you to miss this one just until you get the feel of it. Take your time. You can miss by a lot, darling. Good, right in the middle. Did you want to hit it in the middle? "...your wife, Lulu." I'm gettin' longer cigars. You'll feel more comfortable with them. Buffalo Bill, monarch of the West it delights me to present this completely cornucopious canary this curvacious cadenza in the companion of classical singsong this collation of champagne and columbine this cultivated coloratura from Colorado... words fails me... Lucille Du Charmes. Handel's "Rinaldo." What a shot you are. My second husband, Count Eggenweiler was a champion trap shooter. Trap shooting's a different thing no offence to your second... ...deceased... ...husband. He used a shotgun that sprayed. A pistol is a more exacting weapon. Burke, take the lady to my... private viewing chair. Morning, girls! What's going on? I wanna show Bull the Custer act. Here's you scenario. About Cleveland. First, he's marrying a society dab at the end of the month. Second, he's got a Republican congress to contend with. I think we can give Bull the money. If he's waiting for Cleveland we've got him for life. Bring Sitting Bull and Halsey over. Keep those tempos tight, Bill! Is the grey alright? Yeah, she'll dance tomorrow. Morning, chief. Halsey if you and the chief would follow me a few, short steps he'll be part of America's family. If you're gonna watch watch from the other side. Ah, by the way you can tell the chief we've decided to give him 2 weeks salary as a token of our friendship. Sitting Bull admires the big grey. Say hello to Buffalo Bill. Poor thing is frightened. That bird can't get out, can it? No... We're the only ones who show the red and the white without taking sides. Hello, Chief. Which way are your leaves blowing? Nate, get this thing going. Down stage! I see General George Armstrong Custer leads the men of the 7 th cavalry deep into the Injun territory known as "Little Big Horn." Custer bearing the wounds of a cowardly Sioux ambush. Suddenly Indians appear led by the fiercest of 'em all Chief Sitting Bull! Chief, you got a colored sitting in for you 'cause he's the closest we got on our staff to a real Injun. Custer knows it's gonna be the fight for his life. Sitting Bull uses an old Injun ploy. He hates Custer. It's gonna be an honorable duel between the two great leaders. But George gets shot in the back by all the other redskins. Sitting Bull says the battle did not happen that way. Sitting Bull was not on the battlefield. He was making medicine and dreaming. He saw many horses upside down and blue skeletons floating up to the promised land. Why's he shooting? Put that down you're gonna hurt somebody. Sitting Bull thinks you're a great marksman. He can see how you killed so many of his buffaloes. Someday my hair's gonna be along as Custer's... ...was. Margaret, I've been thinking about us. I'm glad, Bill. The more I think about us the less I think about Sitting Bull. That ain't good for the Wild West. I'd never interfere with that. That little bastard ain't gonna make my life easy. I can't deal with him and deal with you and be my best with the both. I'm trying to say it's time for you to go. No, Bill. And the quicker you go the quicker you can start missing me. Margaret, go on. Halsey! What are you doing here? Sitting Bull came to tell you what he will do in your show. The sun ain't hardly up yet. Sitting Bull's thoughts do not have a schedule. Let me get myself together. Go and sit down. What's going on? I don't know but keep an eye on him. I'll go get your uncle. What's happening? Get Burke. Damn Injun caught me with my... Bull kept everybody up. Bad Bull! My father has promised me this land. Protecting it I have had a hard time. The rivers flow with the blood of my people. The wind blows the echoes of lies. The white man has stolen the truth. That is a great and classic Indian face. You'll build the village at Killdear Mountain. Sitting Bull's people will be working. Children will be playing. They're waiting for Colonel McLaren and his soldiers to talk peace. The unarmed Sioux embrace the soldiers with open arms. Then McLaren will slaughter every man, woman, child and dog. He's tolerable. It'll work. You could come on after the Indians attack McLaren. This is what Sitting Bull has chosen to do. Chief we haven't had a heart to heart and I think it's time. I've listened to Halsey. He's got guts, 'cause he did insult me in my own house. He called me a coward. Says I murdered women, old men, and children. And dogs. Yeah, dogs. You get what I'm saying? You have till noon to get outta here! You're finished! Fired! Through! How could that little runt treat me like that? It's harder being a star than an Indian. Everything on this side I'm taking with me. What's this? How did I ever...? I'll pack the guns now. Don't touch my guns! Uncle Will! Something awful bad... Annie... We already know. She going through with it? Looks like it. We all spoke to her. She's standing firm. I can usually steer her where you want her to go, but not this time. Why's everything a problem here? Is it a matter of money? Money might help. Come on, Frank. Money has nothing to do with it. It's Annie's principles. What about my principles? Then let her leave. Wait a minute. I can't let her go. She owes me too much. I'll talk to her, but I won't change my mind about the Injun. Right. If it comes up, or if it'll help you can tell her I love her. And you take this. How would you like this? Here, take it. We got problems. No problem, Bill. I could expect disrespect from anybody but you. Why are you in the middle of this? What did Bull ever do for you? He wants to show the truth. Why not accept that just once? Because I got a better sense of history than that. Besides, I say what goes on in this show. Not some Injun runt and his half assed half breed. You got any whiskey? Where you want this chair? If you send Bull back they'll kill him. That is not my problem. You can have this. It'll just about fit you. The little bastard can stay. Ladies and gentlemen I'm Nate Salsbury, and on behalf of my partner, Bill Cody we welcome you to the season's opening show of America's... Mr. Cody, we're ready for the Grand Parade. ...Buffalo Bill's Wild West! And what would the Wild West be without brave cowboys? You're on in 2 minutes. I heard you the 1st time. You have to go in the carriage. Stop nagging. God, they're gonna make lots of dust. The brave cowboys now assume protective positions so that you, our guests, can witness the true wildness of the West without bodily risk from nature's fury. And pursuing the brave and powerful buffalo is our star America's national hero Bill Cody... Buffalo Bill! Yes, he was truly born to entertain. No ordinary man would ever take credit for acts of bravery and heroism he couldn't have done. And no ordinary man would realize what huge profits could be made by telling a pack of lies like it was the truth. No, Bill Cody can only trust his senses. And when his senses fail him he might see things as they really are. And now as the trooperies reassemble would you join in the singing of Buffalo Bill's favorite American song by Francis Scott Key "Oh Say, Can You See." It is Buffalo Bill's belief that this could and should be the next national anthem. Would you please rise. And now to open our show in a big way we present to you an unparalleled attraction: The world's foremost woman marksman the little girl of the western plains the fearless Annie Oakley! Assisted by Frank "the world's most handsome living target" Butler! Steady. Tell him to steady the cigar. Coward. We love you, Annie. Move that horse. For her grand finale, Miss Oakley will attempt a new shot the two for one axe shot. She will split a bullet with the axe hitting both targets simultaneously. Take your time, honey. They'll wait forever. Please remain as quiet as possible. The bullet must split and hit the two targets. Is that possible? It's never been done before. Oh, how close! She missed, but so close! Give her a hand! Nate, once again. Again. What? Frank, again. Annie, you don't have to. We love you anyway. I can do it, Frank. Wait, I lost my hat. You ready? Stay with us, Lord. Annie, where you going? He moved it. Annie, take a bow. Frank, what will you do? I can't do the act myself. And now, ladies and gentlemen here's a man who can stick to any animal with hair. Say hello to the King of Cowboys, Buck Taylor! Alright, the Bull banner. Is the old man ready? You're on next. Halsey tell Bull he's going to discover what show business is all about. He'll be back here begging me to do the Custer act. Sitting Bull's going to suffer a worse defeat than Custer ever did. Custer got to die. Bull's just going to get humiliated. The most murderous the most colorful redskin alive... Here he comes the battling chief of the Hunkpapa Sioux Sitting Bull! Morning! You're up. Listen, I... I'm really sorry about last night. It was opening night and we always kick up dust. I don't like them to drink alone. I must have been kind of a disappointment. You look real pretty in that light. Actually... I've become a morning man. There's no pressure. You see, at night... And the whiskey we get here isn't good. It dulls the... Say good morning to the flying Dutchman. Hi, bird. He's OK in there? You don't let him out, do you? What are they doing? They're just horsing around. You have to help him. Stop them. They may hurt him. Alright. You just stretch out there. I'll be right back. Put him down. It's like a bull fighting a flea. Son of a bitch! There's only squaws over there. Nate! Burke! Get over here! Goddamn! What is it? Stay behind the tent! Problems? Take a look up there you'll see the problem. Sitting Bull's making his exit. Buck Taylor, get across the river and see what's going on. Look at that boy go! Rides like the wind! The Injuns. Where? My God. Why is it so dark in here? Hey, son, get down. Gotcha! Boys, I want a posse. A tough posse. We ride in ten minutes. There's no way to outfox a fox. We're not taking this lying down. You horse son of a bitch where are you going? Damn... damn. What's wrong? I got trouble on my hands. The little cowboy wasn't hurt? No. The Injuns. They've escaped. All of them? No, just the dangerous ones. I got to go get them. How long will you be gone? As long as it takes. You know I'd never let anything come between us and our little... ...unless it was something real like this. Goddammit! Where's my real jacket? Well the posse's formed. Knowing that you're laying there waiting for me will serve to stiffen my resolve. How could you be so clumsy? You could have harmed him. I hate birds. Cody, don't you ever harm my Flying Dutchman. Ed, where you going? With you, Uncle Will. Get off. Your mother would be furious. Jules, get on the horse. Where's the Indian who's supposed to be at this gate? When Bill's dressed for a ride and mounted on his stallion any doubts about his legend are soon forgot. Yes, Bill's fine physical portrait hides any faults his mind possesses. But any tracker will tell you if you don't know what you're after you'd best stay home. There they are, Uncle Will! Control yourself. That'll teach Sitting Bull a lesson. It's a question of law and order. Sitting Bull was out of order. Here they come. Now as they come over the ridge we'll... Wait a minute. I don't see Sitting Bull. No. They're not there. They must be there. Maybe they're in the back. I don't see Sitting Bull. I don't see no Injuns. Maybe they just didn't find them. Oh, they found them. No Injun ever got away from Uncle Will. Maybe they're dressed in our clothes. Alright, up stick. It's them. But no down stick. They're not there. Oh, my God. I don't see any Indians with them. 'Cause there ain't no Injuns there. But Bill's the greatest Indian hunter of them all. He led fifteen of the best trackers into territory he knows better than the back of his own hand looking for an old man a giant, and five boys. It's not your fault, Bill. We made it clear that this is a camp, not a prison. Nate's right. We're not in the prison business. Better tell McLaughlin that he's gone. "Sitting Bull escapes after first trying to burn down the arena." I sure thought you'd catch him. They weren't that far ahead. Ed, why don't you go close the gate? I never saw him refuse a drink before. I don't care what anyone says. God bless Buffalo Bill! God! He shot himself! Damn bird. Get out of here. Sit down. Damn bird! Well, I hate birds. Me, too. Bull and Halsey are out there. What? How? They must have tracked us. Come on in, boys. Couple of buffs got loose. We had to chase them down. Too bad you couldn't join us. Where were you? It's the first moon of the month. Answer the question. Where were you? During the 1st moon Sitting Bull visits the sun and the squaws move teepees to the moon's path. Stop sunning and mooning us and tell us where you've been. You were up in the mountains? Yes. Wasn't that a little dangerous? Sitting Bull knows the mountains. What if I had sent someone after you? Sitting Bull was not hiding. In the mountains, Sitting Bull realized he must do more in your show. Well, now we're back in business. Foes in '76, friends in '85. I don't understand. Explain that. Sitting Bull will do the only thing he would want to show his people. And what is that? Sitting Bull will make the big grey dance. Responsibility is a funny thing. It's different for stars than for ordinary folks. Please, Buntline, this man's in pain. That's why stars spend so much time in front of mirrors. To see if their good looks can overcome their judgment. Not now, Mr. Buntline, please. A star like Buffalo Bill Cody makes a judgment it becomes a commitment. It's got to stick at any cost. The only way I could have avoided seeing him on that mountain is if he never went to the mountain. Now I can understand why he lied to me. He's got to look good in front of his people, same as I. But I'm generous and flexible. That's good, generous and flexible. Ladies and gentlemen please take the places we have specified for you. Welcome, braves. We welcome you with open arms. Wranglers on the Deadwood coach easy there. I know the ladies like to be bounced around a bit but it'll blur the picture. This is a very impressive assemblage. Now, pay attention. Nate, would you convey to Buffalo Bill that we are ready? I'm generous and flexible. Bill! I'll be there. Generous and flexible. I choose to overlook the entire incident. 100 years from now, this photo will still exist. Remember that. This is the way people will remember you. Bill, good morning! Ladies and gentlemen, Injuns I didn't know you were ready. Sorry. Get ready. Look at the birdy! Hold it! I don't want Sitting Bull next to Annie Oakley. 'Cause I don't want Sitting Bull next to Annie Oakley. The fans won't like it. Put him with the other Indians. I don't want Sitting Bull next to Annie. Um... Halsey... It'd be a better idea, with the sun factor, if you and the chief moved over with the other Indians. Sitting Bull will stand by Annie Oakley. Why don't you just come over here where you should be? Sitting Bull will move for $25. I swear he plans these things. What do you want to do? Let him stay where he is. We'll put Halsey's face and hat on Buck Taylor and Sitting Bull's on Johnny Baker and vice versa. That way those two Injuns will be with the other Injuns. And don't show him the photograph. Buffalo Bill says it was better the first way. Make your photograph. Everybody hold your breath now! Hold it a minute. Hey, Dart! Come here! Go on, I'm getting my picture took. Wayne, will you... Dart go find out what that darkey wants. A wire just came from the President. This is no time to joke. It's for real. It's there. Tell them. A wire came from the President of the United States. Who told you? You can't read either. You may take the photograph now. Injuns gear their lives to dreams. And when he dreams no matter how farfetched it is he'll wait till he dies for it to come true. White men, they're different. They only dream when things are going their way. I'm no expert on the subject but what Bull does is a lot cheaper than mounting a Wild west show which is just dreaming out loud. "The Honorable William F. Cody." "Grover Cleveland, President has chosen to make the first stop of his honeymoon ex cursion in Buffalo Bill's Wild West camp at Fort Ruth. The scheduled time of arrival is Thursday, October 18th at 8 p. M." Night! We've never done a night show. Uncle Will, it's just like in Sitting Bull's dream. I bring up this dream business because things are starting to take on an unreal shape. Just think for a minute. Sitting Bull... Put yourself in his place. You sit in your teepee and you dream. Then you go to wherever the dream might come true. And you wait for real life to catch up. Mr. President, Mrs. Cleveland ...honored guests. I'm Nate Salsbury. And I can tell you that Nate Salsbury has never been as proud in his long career as he is tonight to present our very first after dark, request performance and to dedicate it to you our finest American and your fine, new wife. Ed's in the box. Burke's up there, too laughing it up with the President while we're stuck down here. Grover Cleveland. That bear is a star! He's bigger than Buck Taylor! He's bigger than you are. He's the biggest man I've ever seen. Meet America's national entertainer the man who IS the Wild West the honorable William F. Cody Buffalo Bill! Mr. President Mrs. Cleveland distinguished visitors I want to take this occasion to welcome you to my Wild West. Most people will tell you that it's the father of the new show business. And may the sun never set on this great nation unless it comes up again in the morning. Mr. President our wedding present for you. Buffalo Bill writes all of his original sayings himself. All great men do. Beautiful. Just like day, darling. What a shot! He loves it. It's freezing, come on! Not yet. OK... now! Isn't that amazing, my dear? Yes. You hit him, Annie. End it. She got him. It's part of the act. Everything's OK. Is this part of the act? Quick, I'm going to faint. I'm bleeding to death. Don't run. I got to get out. I'll fall. The tomahawk they carry shall rest in the ground and peace and goodwill to the nations abound. Presenting Chief Sitting Bull. What's he saying? I don't know. I don't understand a word he's saying. Do you? But I can guess. He was joking. He's got a sense of humor. His way of making the grey mare dance. To Sitting Bull and his dancing grey. Or President Cleveland's closest call! Now everybody remember be polite, be brief and most of all, be yourself. Remember, it's the President. This means a lot to the troopers. It means something to us, too. How are you? Did you get hurt today? No, no, Annie never misses. Frank, where've you been? I'm pregnant. What? Pregnant. Congratulations, Mrs. Poole. I sang it at the Teatro del Roma in Rome, you know. And I sang... I never seen black eyed peas like this. You were impeccable. Thank you. Here we go. Champagne and refreshments for everyone. Can Nina sing now? Oh, yes, my rose petal. Go ahead. Our distinguished and delightful First Lady has an announcement. Quiet, please. For your entertainment my dear friend Miss Nina Cavallini will sing... ..."Qui sola vergin rosa" in Italian. Brava! You know, that's the nicest invitation I ever got. Irresistible. What a cultivated lady she is. I'm always trying to spread culture. Why don't you stay for a few days? I'll show you the real Wild West. I'd love to but my secret life with General Benjamin is wild enough. Why are you? Halsey, why's he here? Great Father is here in answer to Chief Sitting Bull's dream. You weren't invited to this party. No more Bull! You go. That way. Let them in, Mr. Gordman. Goodman. The chief is a wonderful comedian. Good to see you. Great Father, Sitting Bull has a very simple thing to ask you. Mr. Halsey, I remind you that in government, nothing is simple. This request will satisfy Sitting Bull's people forever. Remember that I'm only "Great Father" four years at a time. And another thing I face a Republican Congress. I suggest you deal with your local agent. We have. The agents will not help. Doesn't that indicate your request is impossible? This request is simple. He said nothing is simple. Sitting Bull's request is simple. Sitting Bull dreamed he would meet the Great Father here. He hoped the Great Father would honor his request. I'm sorry There's nothing I can do. But you haven't heard Sitting Bull's request. But it doesn't make any difference. It's out of the question. What a confrontation. Congratulations, Mr. President. We've had a delightful day with you. Mr. President I now see why you're President. It's uncanny. The basic, pioneer perception. The difference between a President and a chief in a situation like this is a President knows enough to retaliate before it's his turn. Remember that. I'll use it at the convention. Well, Mr. President I know you're tired and want to hit the hay. My personal bed is at your disposal. It's hardly ever been used. Where will you sleep? You can sleep with me. I'll sleep on the prairie under the moon, listening to the lullaby of the coyotes. You see, I ain't always been a comfortable man. It's a man like that that made this country what it is. Hello there, Dart. Hello, Mr. Cody. Is your work done, boy? Yes sir. Everything's spic and span. That's good. It's a shame the Injuns can't learn from you coloreds. But then they'd have nothin' to fuss about, and they do like to fuss. I ain't never thanked you for giving me the opportunity to work for you. No need. It's part of my upbringing. I help coloreds when I can. How's that? My daddy was killed trying to keep slavery out of Kansas. Why'd he do that? My daddy hated slavery so much instead of letting 'em become slaves he fought to keep all coloreds out. Trying to protect you. And he caught a knife in his lungs for the trouble. You want a drink. I'll buy. You can sit up front with me. No, sir. It's already late and I ain't got no time for that. I've got to feed your horse. Thank you for asking. Where's the Old Bonded, Crutch? Hello, Mr. Cody. Well, I'll be damned! Buffalo Bill himself. Buy an old friend a drink? Another glass. I was beginning to think you didn't exist. But here you are in the flesh and what a sight for sore eyes. You sure passed me by. Like watching a seed grow into a tree that's too tall to climb. You got everything you ever wanted. You even have the President of the US sleeping in your bed. Let's forget that, Ned and get drunk. I can't forget it. Looking at you reminds me of it. So live it. Way past the living. In 100 years they'll be shouting your name. You're no longer one of the boys. You're not like ordinary folk. It gives me goose bumps just being this close to you. You still got the knack don't you, Ned? You make it easy, Bill. You were probably the best ever. And I'd like to have you back with the show. But, frankly, Nate can't stand the sight of you. Nostalgia ain't what it used to be. You ain't changed, Bill. I ain't supposed to. That's why people pay to see me. Well This has been a sobering experience. Damn near a religious awakening. Buffalo Bill... What a thrill to have invented you. What do I owe you for my stay? Nothing, Mr. Buntline. You don't owe me nothing. Thanks, Crutch. 'Cause that's what I got. Nothing. I'm off to California to preach against the vultures of Prometheus. Ned. See you around. See you in hell, Bill. I want to cut the glass blowers. People really want to see you ride. When you were in Europe did you say hi to the Queen for me? Yes, they're still talking about you. Can't wait for your return. This'll be our biggest year yet. We'll gross over 2 million dollars. I ever tell you I hold the record for a continuous ride on the Pony Express 322 miles in 18 days. Oh, I know. Sit down and have a drink. Too early for me. You look great. Yeah, well, I feel great. Like I could go on forever. Marty, did I ever tell you that I hold the Pony Express record 320 and some odd miles and 18 horses... Big news. They've shot Sitting Bull... dead. I'll be damned. Oh, my God. What is it? Sitting Bull's dead. McLaughlin's police, at standing rock. They say he was trying to escape. He was riding the grey that Bill gave him. The horse danced when they shot the chief. Who's going to tell Bill? Nobody. Mo point bothering him with that. I don't dream. Must be somebody out... I'm not alone. Oh no, don't buckle. He ain't really there. I hate women. I hate them! Cost me a lot of wampum. Alright, suit yourself. You ain't even the right image. Halsey, get out here. Tell the chief you've got all the brains. I'll tell him. Chief! Halsey's got all the brains. Ex cept Halsey he doesn't mean a word he says. Which is why he sounds so real. Real... Let me show you something about real. I was a boy. I was eleven years... Nine. I was nine. I caught this big buff right smack in the middle. God meant for me to be white. God meant for me to be white. And it ain't easy. I got people with no lives living through me. Proud people. People to worry about. And another thing. My daddy died without seeing me as... as a star. Profitable, good looking. Custer was a star. He was a good man. He gave coffee and sugar. Don't. He was a good man. He gave the Indians reason to be famous. Damn you! In 100 years... ...I'll still be Buffalo Bill... star! And you'll be the Injun. My God, look at you. Look at you. You want to stay the same. Well, that's going backwards. Buntline... Oh, damn you, you deserter. I'm curious, Chief. My friends are curious. My women are curious. My fans are curious. And they pay me for it. I give them what they expect. You can't live up to what you expect. That makes you more make believe than me. You don't even know if you're bluffing. The difference between a white man and an Injun, in ALL situations is that an Injun is red. And an Injun is red for a real good reason. To tell us apart. So we can tell us apart. My God ain't he riding that horse right? If he ain't... then how come all of you took him for a king? You see I ain't got nobody to talk to. Ex cept you. And you ain't even there. Carve it. Yeah, carve it... all of us. Carve our names. And celebrate the event. Ladies and gentlemen. For the first time in the history of show business, Nate Salsbury and William F. Cody present a conflict between two of the greatest warriors in western civilization staged with spectacular realism. Behold Chief Sitting Bull warrior of the western plains who has murdered more white men than any other redskin spoiled more white women than any other redskin. This bloodthirsty leader of the Hunkpapa Sioux has challenged Buffalo Bill to a duel to the death! Sitting Bull is played by William Halsey. Buffalo Bill, called "Pahaska" which means "long hair" in Sioux accepts the challenge for his beloved country. |
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