1
- I am too old for this shit.
Get your damn hands in the air.
I ain't gonna ask you twice.
Step away from the kid.
Nice and slow like.
I'm gonna give you to
the count of three.
One.
Two.
- Michael, get in
the fucking car now!
- Jacob.
Jacob, what's in your lap?
Jacob.
What's in your lap?
- Why you always
gotta pick on Jacob?
He's fucking
harmless. Look at him.
- That's where you're wrong.
He's weak.
He's physically weak.
He's weak in the head.
He's the one who keeps
leaving the fucking gate open
and jeopardizing the haunt.
I'm not going down for
some fucking retard.
What is this shit?
- Let me see.
Jacob,
who're these people?
- Family.
- Jacob, these people
aren't your family.
This ain't us.
It's never gonna be us.
- Are you ashamed of us, Jacob?
Let me tell you
something, Jacob.
We are all you got.
We are all you're
ever gonna get.
Do you understand me, Jacob?
And the sooner you realize this,
the sooner you get it through
your thick, fucking skull
that these people
are not your family.
Do you understand, Jacob?!
Do you fucking get...
- Hey!
- You're not right
in the head, Jacob.
Do you under-fucking-stand?
- Hey!
I got an idea.
Why don't we go out tonight?
I've got a plan.
- I don't know.
- Fuck it.
I gotta get out of here and...
we can even see if
Michael's still got it.
- All right.
Let's do it.
Get the car ready.
You gonna watch the house?
- Yeah, sure.
- Good.
- You guys are never gonna sleep
with all that sugar.
- See?
I still know how to have fun.
You flank them from the right.
I'm gonna go from the left.
Wait for my signal.
When I blow the horn
twice, you get them.
- Goodnight, girls.
- Have fun.
- What was that?
- Melanie!
Melanie!
- Everything's gonna be okay.
I'm gonna get you some help.
It's gonna be okay.
It's gonna be okay.
- When we get back,
and we're not with the girls,
I want you to watch Michael.
I don't know what's
going through his head,
but I don't think
we can trust him.
I'm serious.
We need to keep him on a leash.
- I know. I hear you.
- What the fuck?
Damn, is she dead?
See? This is the kinda
shit I'm talking about.
- So angry.
- When we get back, get
Jacob to clean up the body.
That'll teach him
some responsibility.
- I heard that.
- Michael.
When we get back,
you and Jacob are gonna
clean up that body.
Do you understand?
Motherfucker.
- Why are you doing this?
- Help us!
Just let us go.
- You gotta help us.
Please.
You can help us, please.
- Help me!
Please help me!
Help me! Please!
Please, help me!
I'm down here, I
don't wanna die.
I don't wanna die.
- What do we do? What do we do?
She's trying to cry out.
- Help me, please.
- Everyone knows of the
one and only Bunnyman.
- Who the fuck is Bunnyman?
- It's fucking
Michael, all right?
I'm calling him Bunnyman now.
If you can shut the fuck up,
I'm gonna finish my speech.
Why we gotta do a speech anyway?
- Because you've got to
practice before the haunt.
I don't want you
socially-fucking-awkward
in front of these people.
Who the fuck is
Bunnyman, anyway?
- I don't know. I don't
fucking care, all right?
But what I do know is...
even the deaf kids
in Guadalajara
have heard the rumors about him.
He's come back home now.
He's been traveling all around
the world for months on end.
Picking up all the bad habits
from all the criminals
around the world.
Nobody knows how many
people he's killed.
Nobody, and I mean nobody,
is brave enough to ask him.
- How many people
have you killed?
- Hey!
Cover your eyes and your ears
because, yes, yes,
the rumors are true.
What you're about to
see can't be unseen.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I present to you, the
birth of Bunnyman.
- Hey, Michael.
You look like a chicken nugget.
- Yeah, he does.
He does.
Just like extra crispy.
That shit's nasty.
His skin's all
flaking off and shit.
Oh, Michael's getting mad.
- What're you
gonna do, motherfucker?
- What happened?
What did we do?
- You know Michael.
He just needs to
blow off some steam.
He'll be back.
- All right.
You have two options.
Option A and option B.
Option A.
You drink this.
Water or...
let those spiders crawl...
- No!
- So what's it gonna be?
Water?
Or spiders?
Didn't I tell you
to make a decision?
Huh?
If you don't pick one,
I will make you do both.
Water?
Spiders?
- Water.
- You sure?
- It's not water, it's acid.
- Oh god.
- You're so pretty.
For you, sweetheart.
What's it gonna be?
Water?
- Oh, god.
- Or let the spiders
crawl on you.
- Spiders.
- All right.
The itsy-bitsy spider
Went up the water spout
Down came the rain
And washed the spider out
Out came the sun
And dried up all the rain
And the itsy-bitsy spider
Went up the spout again
- Now what?
Huh?
Jacob.
- Jack,
I don't know.
I don't think it's smart
to just randomly show up
and go through people's stuff.
- Look, we're lost.
If I keep driving
around in circles,
we're gonna run out of gas.
Besides, maybe there's
somebody here that can help.
- Well, I think it's a bad idea.
- I think it's a great idea.
Come on, it'll be fun.
- Do you think people live here?
- I hope not.
- Rachel, stop
touching everything.
You're gonna break
something. Come on.
- Hey guys, check this out.
- It's not even scary.
- The door!
Get the door!
- Are you guys okay?
- You have to help us.
There's someone in there
and this guy.
Her friend was in the elevator.
- Calm down.
What's going on?
- There's someone
trying to kills us.
- Yeah, me.
- Oh yeah.
You are a machinist
And at your will
All the machinery
Is standing still
You walk and stand
For hours a day
Your strong arms
Bend the metal easily
You are a machinist
And at your will
All the machinery
Is standing still
You are a machinist
And at your will
All the machinery
Is standing still
You are a machinist
The machinist of joy
You are a machinist
The machinist of joy
You are a machinist
The machinist of joy
You are a machinist
And at your will
All the machinery
Is standing still
You are a machinist
And at your will
All the machinery
Is standing still
You are a machinist
The machinist of joy
You are a machinist
The machinist of joy
You are a machinist
The machinist of joy
You are a machinist
The machinist of joy
You are a machinist
- Ladies and gentleman,
you have never seen
anything as unholy,
as inhuman,
as the half-human, half-bunny.
All hideous monster lurking
inside of our haunted house.
You're gonna need this.
- It's locked.
- Hello?
Can you open the door?
- So stupid.
Hello?
Hello?
- Hello?
Somebody open the door.
Can you let us out?
Can anybody hear us?
Hello?
Hello?
- Is that a fake
chainsaw you got?
What're you gonna do?
Cut my fingers off?
- Help!
- Ladies and gentlemen,
I present to you
the one, the only...
- Run away!
They're trying to kill us!
Run away!
They're trying to kill us.
- Shut the fuck up!
Shut up now!
- They're trying to kill us!
- Everybody.
- Run away!
- You shut up, right now!
- They're trying to kill us!
- Fuck.
I don't fucking know.
- Carl, inside now.
Get inside.
- Jacob.
Jacob, not right now.
- Are we gonna have to pack up
and leave town?
- Oh, look, it's
trying to think.
- John, what're we gonna do?
- I'm gonna tell you
what we're gonna do.
We're gonna pack up as
much shit as we can carry
and get the fuck out of town.
That's what we're gonna do.
I don't need to tell you
it takes at least a week
to pack up the trucks,
which means we're gonna
lose thousands of dollars
of equipment.
We had a good thing going, here.
I, for one, am fucking pissed
because we gotta
leave because of
that retarded motherfucker.
And you.
We should have never
let you come back.
You jeopardized all our lives
and cost us thousands of dollars
just because of your
fucking anger issues.
What're you gonna
do, motherfucker?
- Hey John, relax, all right?
How much time do we have left?
- I'd say we got
about 20 minutes.
Then it's every
man for themselves.
- What do you mean?
- Do I have to fucking
spell it out for you?
We go our separate ways.
That's it, pure and simple.
But first, I want this motherfucker
to be held accountable
for what he did.
- Take Michael outside.
- But?
- Take him!
Sorry, but you've
gotta leave your home
and find a new place to live.
Don't worry, you'll
figure it out.
But right now, I really need
you to take Michael outside.
Jacob!
Take Michael outside.
- This ain't over.
This ain't over by a long shot.
You better watch
your fucking back.
Next time we come, you
better be fucking prepared.
- Jacob, get
Michael out of here.
Come on! Police are coming.
Hurry the fuck up!
Come on! Get out of here!
- This is the most dysfunctional
god damn family I know.
- What's the plan?
- We have to kill Michael.
We need to kill
Michael, here and now.
Hopefully the cops will
pin this shit on him
and take some heat off us.
- Yeah, but...
- It's the only way.
He fucked up and put
us all in jeopardy.
Now we'll be lucky
if we're not running
for the rest of
our god damn lives
because of this motherfucker.
It's over.
- They gonna kill you.
You can't stay here no more.
You promise me
you find a place in your world
and you have a good life.
You won't harm my brothers
and they won't harm you.
You promise me?
Goodbye, my friend.
- Jacob!
Jacob, where's Michael going?
Where's Michael going?
- I don't know.
- Bullshit!
Come here.
Jacob, get your ass over here!
Now!
- Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Jacob didn't deserve to die.
- Fuck Jacob.
Come on, motherfucker!
We're right here!
Where you gonna go?
We're all you got.
Step out the car.
- You won't harm my brothers
and they won't harm you.
You promise me?
Goodbye, my friend.
- Should we follow him?
- Nah.
He'll go into the mountains.
The junkyard is all he knows.
- Fuck.
What the fuck?
- What the fuck?
- It's okay.
It's okay.
Everything will be all right.
He can't hurt you anymore.
And slowly, but surely,
the feelings will go away
forever and ever,
forever and ever.
- Our main event of the evening!
Ten rounds.