Bunyan and Babe (2017)

1
Travis.
Travis!
What?
--You just
ruined my game, Whitney.
Travis, mom's looking for you.
I'll be right there, mom.
Are you even packed?
Are you even human?
What other species could I be?
Travis, what are you doing?
Where's your bag?
Grandpa's ready to go.
Hello there, kids.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Hello?
Yeah, one sec.
Hold on.
Mom, do I have time to
run over to Rick's house?
No.
It's time to go.
Here's your bag.
No, I can't.
Me and Whitney are leaving
for my grandparents' farm.
Yeah believe me, i
do not want to go.
My parents want us to
rediscover nature, or whatever.
Hey!
Bye Rick.
He'll see you in a few weeks.
Travis, remember our agreement--
no cell phones, no video games.
Oh, so in other words, no fun.
I won't survive more than a day.
You know that, right?
Why wouldn't you survive?
You'll have food, water, and
shelter, all the essentials
for survival.
Mom.
Whitney honey, why don't
you take your things down
to the truck?
I don't want to go this year.
Why can't Whitney
just go by herself?
Because I said so.
Let's go.
I'm not going.
I think I'm big enough
to make my own decisions.
Hee.
It's only for a
few weeks, Travis.
You'll live.
Come here, give me a hug.
Okey-dokey, kids,
you ready to roll?
Pop, you drive carefully, ok?
It's not a race.
Eh, keep up a good pace?
Well, I'll do my best.
And we're off.
Don't forget to take a
bath and brush your teeth.
Blah, blah
and be nice to your sister.
Bye.
Have fun.
Be good.
There's one from north Dakota.
Now I only need Indiana,
Kansas, Missouri, and Ohio
and I'll have the
complete midwest.
And how many states
do you have, Travis?
You are such a grump.
Grumpy mcgrumpster,
woke up today--
grumpy mcgrumpsteen,
and a voice was--
grumpy mcgrumpacuddy,
older--
grumpy mcgrumperpants,
than my heart,--
grumpy mcgrumpcake.
Please, be
quiet, whitless.
--Which
carries a scar.
You just
proved my point.
Please tell me we're there.
The dreams
that I've been dreamin'--
what?
Bears don't wear hats.
No, grandpa.
--Take me
back to Kentucky.
Are we there yet?
Eh, almost.
Ooh, look, there's Paul bunyan.
Well, we're halfway home.
He sure is big.
It's just another
statue, whitless.
I didn't think he was real.
We read all about him in school.
He was the world's
greatest lumberjack.
A folk hero of the
American frontier.
Hey now, just because
there are folk tales
about a man doesn't mean at one
time he didn't really exist.
How do you two think legends
get started, anyways?
You know, as much as i
like visiting the big city,
it sure is nice to come
home to some familiar faces.
Hey, how are ya?
Hey!
You know, delbert
hasn't changed a lick
since your grandma
and I were kids.
Ooh, which reminds me,
we have to pick her up
before we head to the farm.
Pick her up?
Oh, there she is.
If I see one more
broken down farm truck,
I swear I'm going
to break something.
I mean what a friggin' cliche.
Just look at that one.
Old Freddy farmer out there
picking up his pain-in-the-neck
blue-haired wife.
Iris, what the
heck are you doing?
Excuse me, sir.
You told me to notify you
when your commercial is on.
What?
Want to
make the perfect deal?
Then call blandsford
development,
where perfection is the norm.
What could you
possibly be writing?
Some notes, sir.
I think the graphics
could use some work.
And you were a little
stiff in that take.
Did I ask you to take notes?
I didn't hire you for
your opinions, Iris.
You better watch it, or your
first week will be your last.
My first week of what, sir?
Of working here, Iris.
Get it together.
Now how many deeds
did you get today?
Oh, one family accepted your
offer, sir, out of the 20
I called today.
I've color-coded the file,
orange for oleson family,
since oleson starts with
"o" and so does the word--
one property?
One property?
A measly one property?
What is wrong with these people?
I don't think there's
anything wrong with them, sir.
I found that the majority just
don't want to sell their farms
and businesses.
They really like
living in delbert.
What is there to like, Iris?
Answer me that.
Delbert county is a
pathetic Hicksville filled
with backwards nincompoops.
Desperate times call
for desperate measures.
I'm gonna need to call Bob.
Bob?
Blackstone.
Oh, blackstone,
right, of course.
Sir, one question,
who is blackstone?
I am the great and
mysterious blackstone.
Now, look into my hand.
Yes, the lights.
The lights.
When I, the amazing
blackstone, snap my fingers,
you will follow my every word,
perform every deed I command.
Mhm.
You
are now, a chicken.
Monkey.
Rock star.
Sleep.
Eee-oop.
When you awake, you'll
remember nothing.
Zob-key-boz.
Ahh, haha.
--Unappreciative
neanderthals.
Don't they recognize
brilliance when they see it?
How many more weeks are we
booked in this so-called venue?
They didn't renew
our contract, boss.
Hello, Mr.
blackstone, I'm calling
from norm blandsford's office.
And your point is?
H-he'd like to see you, sir.
He said he'd make
it worth your while.
How much worth my while?
Oh.
Well, here we are.
Home at last.
I get mom's old room!
So, which blue ribbon are you
aiming for this year, granddad?
Oh, I've got my eye on
biggest cabbage, mm-hm.
Can't wait to show
you kids the crops.
Got some regular monsters
growin' out there, boy howdy.
Oh, they can see
'em tomorrow, honey.
The kids need time to unpack
and get ready for bed.
So what's going on with
the picketing, grandma?
A company called
blandsford development is
trying to take over our town.
And I'm protesting.
Huh?
What's that?
--I'm just telling
Travis about my protest!
What do you mean?
I just had it checked.
No, protest!
You know Travis, your grandma's
the town's first activist.
Grandma, look!
I've grown approximately three
inches since last summer.
That comes up to
7.62 centimeters.
It sounds bigger in metric.
Your turn, Travis.
It's ok.
Kids grow at different rates.
I'm going to go brush my
teeth and get ready for bed
like mom said.
It's not even
dark yet, Whitney.
You know what grandpa
says.
Early to bed, early to rise.
Wait, how early is early?
"Woo hoo hoo,
it's time to wake up
on the sunny side.
Today is another time to try.
Making everything all right.
Rainbows
glowing in the sky
every morning
and it makes me smile.
Now the day ahead
looks like a dream.
Woo hoo hoo.
It's time to wake up
on the sunny side.
Today is
another time to try.
Making everything all right.
Woo hoo hoo.
When my eyes see
the rays of light,
the day ahead seems
fun and bright.
Love having you
right by my side.
Rainbows glowing in
the sky every morning
and it makes me smile.
Nothing is as hard
as it first seemed.
Sunshine and rainbows,
outside my window.
Cock-a-doodle-doo.
Wake up wake
up, wake up, woo hoo hoo.
It's time to wake up
wow
--on the sunny side.
Today is another time to try
making everything all right.
All right,
all right, all right.
It's time to
wake up on the sunny side.
It's time
to wake up on the sunny side."
Whatcha doing, grandpa?
Oh, Travis, my boy.
You snuck up on me.
Oh, sorry grandpa.
Can you run into
town for me, Travis,
on official county
fair business?
Sure.
Go to Mundy's general store
and pick up a tape measure,
a long one.
I think we have ourselves
a real contender here.
You got it, grandpa.
You're a champ.
You are a champ.
Just look at you.
Hey, where are you going?
Errand in town for grandpa.
Oh, can I come too?
Do chickens have lips?
What?
Of course not.
They have maxillary and
mandibular beaks, why?
Later, nerd face.
Humph.
Can I get you gentlemen
something to drink?
We have root beer, sassafras
tea, or PR-prune juice.
Just tell Norman
his brother is here.
Oh, you're Mr.
blandsford's brother.
Lamentably, yes.
What is it, Iris?
Your brother is
here to see you, sir.
Oh!
Hoo.
Hello, Bob.
Blackstone.
My name is blackstone.
What, off-stage too?
That's ridiculous.
It's my name.
What's with that stupid accent?
Is that supposed to be British?
We're from Philly,
for crying out loud.
Come on-- if you don't
drop the theatrics,
I can't take you seriously.
Funny, I was under the
impression you needed my help?
Right, fine.
Ok.
Down to business.
I need...
That.
The parking lot?
Don't be smart, I'm
talking about the property
I need to acquire.
Everything you see
past that gate--
the town, the farms,
that's what I need.
Right.
I'm off.
Good luck with that.
You just got here, Bob.
It's blackstone, Norman.
Don't make me tell you again.
You know I've never cared much
for your little real estate
deals, so I don't
know why you would
think I'd be interested now.
Can't you just
listen for one second?
Hm.
I've tried everything
with these people.
I've tried making offers
they can't refuse.
I've tried muscle.
But no one wants to sell.
One of them has even
started picketing.
I need that town.
And so I need you to
do whatever mumbo jumbo
it is you do to get
people to do things
they don't know
they're doing and then
make 'em think they
wanted to do them.
I believe the word
you're thrashing
about for is hypnosis.
Whatever.
Will you help me or not?
Hypnotize people into signing
over their property to you?
Oh, well I suppose I could,
if the price was right.
Here you go.
And tell your granddad
i said good luck.
I will Mrs. Mundy, thanks.
Mhm.
Keep
your eyes peeled.
Mhm.
Would you happen
to be Mrs. Mundy?
Yes.
How can I help you, sir?
Hello, I represent
blandsford development--
I've already told Mr.
blandsford I'm not interested.
That's final.
Oh, I think you'll reconsider.
Ever seen one of these?
Hm, uh, ooh.
I don't believe I have.
Hm.
Mhm.
Oh, hm.
Now maybelle, if you would
just please sign your name here.
And here, here, initial here.
Lovely.
Now then maybelle,
when I snap my fingers,
you're going to wake up.
You will feel proud and
happy to have made this deal.
Zob, key, boz.
Oh, thank you sir,
thank you so much.
No dear, thank you.
You there, I'd like
a word with you, boy.
Uh oh.
Get back
here, you little urchin!
The scoundrel!
The brat saw me.
Get after him!
Right, boss.
Get after him!
Oh no.
Whoa!
Nice moves, kid.
Not again.
"I'm
not running away."
Hello.
Thanks, come again.
Come back soon.
You!
You get back here.
--Here,
kitty, kitty, kitty.
I'm gonna find you,
sooner or later.
Huh?
Hm?
No, no, no.
Get out, get out.
Come on.
Oof.
I know you're up there.
Whoa ugh, ooh!
Hoo. Whoa!
Whoa, whoa!
Oof.
Phew.
Oh my-- ugh.
Hello?
Hello?
Anybody here?
Whoa.
Fee fi, fo, fum.
I can't remember the
rest of that rhyme.
Something about
grinding up your bones.
Easy there.
I didn't mean to scare ya.
Me and my stupid jokes.
Sorry, I just
haven't had a chance
to use the "giant"
gag in a while.
Hey, how's that
bump on your head?
Must be feeling ok if
you were able to get down
from that chair.
That's one heck
of a jump for you.
Do you understand me?
Good.
I'm Paul, by the way.
Paul bunyan.
You must be hungry.
I'm gonna whip us a
bunch of pancakes.
How's that sound?
What's your name?
T-Travis.
Travis barclay.
Well Travis, my guess is
you're a long way from home.
I found you knocked out
underneath one of those oaks
over yonder.
From the looks of
the trek you made,
I'd say you slid down
a hollow tree root.
Am I right?
Yeah I think so, yeah.
I know where you're from.
And I know how to get you back.
Don't worry.
Let's get some
food in you first.
You're really Paul bunyan.
That's right.
I'm coming!
Keep your flannel on.
Oh, hey now.
A tiny kid?
Hah, where'd he come from?
Fell out of that root up-river.
Out of the root?
Well that means he's from--
that's right.
And that's where
he's going back just
as soon as he's
had some breakfast.
But he just got here.
Aww, there's so
much to talk about.
Eat your pancakes,
babe, then saddle up.
Saddle up?
Really?
I'm not a mule.
You know, you'd think after
all this time together, he
might treat me like an equal.
But no.
Saddle up.
Humph.
That's why my back's all out
of whack in the first place.
I really can't believe this.
How is this possible?
Maybe I'm dreaming.
Oh what are you
trying to figure out?
I thought you were a folktale.
Hah, don't tell me
you've never seen an ox.
I've seen an ox before, just
not one that was blue and giant
and could speak.
Plus the stories about you are
from a really long time ago.
You should be really old,
like 100 or something.
We're giants, kid.
We're three times
bigger than you.
And we live three
times longer than you.
That's how come we've still got
the youthful good looks, huh.
What is this place anyway?
This here is red river
valley, where we were born.
Paul and I moved back here
when he gave up the logging,
and-- well, haven't been
back to your world since.
Boy, I bet it's really
something now, huh?
All the changes, the inventions,
the modern conveniences.
I mean what are people
doing for fun these days?
I don't know, tons of stuff.
Like what?
What's your favorite pastime?
Sometimes I go to the mall.
The mall?
Haha.
What is that?
What do you do there?
I hang out with friends
and, you know, just chill.
You chill?
Not "chill" chill,
like "brr chill".
More like, just, "chill out".
Hm.
Chill out, huh?
Afraid I don't see the
fun in that, but hey,
who am I to judge?
So, Travis, mind telling
me how you ended up
falling through that root?
Well I was at the general
store on an errand,
and then this weird
guy came in, and then
this other guy chased me in.
And I ran into the forest
and hid in this tree trunk.
And then I slipped and--
someone chased you?
Why?
Who were they?
I don't know.
Miss Mundy-- the
owner of the store--
she was signing these papers
and then the weird guy
said this weird word.
And then she shook his hand.
And then this other
guy was after me.
It was-- it was totally bizarre.
Eh, you can say that again.
There it is.
Yep, grew up so big it broke
right through into your world,
like a tunnel.
Whoa.
Let's get to climbing.
I can find my own way.
You don't need to walk me out.
I'm sure you can.
Truth is, I'm kind of interested
in seeing this forest again.
A lot of time has passed
since I've been here.
These were always
such beautiful trees.
Red pines, mostly.
Weren't they, babe?
Mmhmm.
Wait, I thought you
were a lumberjack
and you chopped trees down?
I did chop trees down.
Doesn't mean I don't
appreciate a good forest.
I'm happy to see
it's doing so well.
Thank you, mr gladstone.
It's a pleasure doing
business with you.
No, sir.
Thank you.
Where's the boy.
Uh, he got away.
What?
Get out!
He was really hard
to catch, boss.
Idiot.
You couldn't catch a cold.
Boss-- wait!
Wait!
Boss!
Wait for me!
There's grandpa's bike.
Oh man.
How am I going to explain this?
Any sign of the
man who chased you?
No.
He was driving a black car.
How far is it to your
grandparents' farm?
It didn't seem all
that far this morning,
but I had a bike then.
Paul!
Paul, Paul, Paul, Paul, Paul,
the kid is clearly traumatized.
First he was chased by a hoodlum
who is probably lying in wait
for him somewhere right now.
And then he loses his only
form of transportation.
I mean we've got to
escort him home safe.
It's the only
decent thing to do.
I know what the decent
thing to do is, babe.
Wait-- what the
heck is that noise?
What were those things?
Oh, they sure stink.
I guess they didn't have cars
the last time you were here,
huh?
Cars?
Ooh.
Hello, can I help you?
I am a salesman, madam.
I've got a great deal on
these brand new flashlights.
I'm sure you've never
seen anything like them.
Well, I'll be.
Will you look at that.
What's that grandma?
Oh, Whitney, come
look at this toy.
It's not a toy.
What the--
ah, who's this fellah?
He's selling flashlights.
What?
Flashlights!
They're so cute.
How much for two?
Um, there's not really
any wagons anymore.
It's all cars.
Here comes another one.
Looks like an rv.
Um, who's arvey?
Boy are they going to
freak out when they see you.
What do you mean freak out?
Like surprised, and
scared, and shocked,
and you know-- freaked out.
Why?
Because you're both giants.
And you can talk.
That is not at all
normal up here.
He's right, babe.
Keep your mouth shut.
Well, what about
the giant part?
Here, do this.
What are you doing?
Trust me on this.
Don't blink.
Don't breathe.
They'll think you're a statue.
Why would they think that?
Because there's statues of you
and babe all over the place.
Statues?
Oh, look at those.
They're so lifelike.
We've got to stop
and get a picture.
We've already taken pictures of
umpteen different Paul bunyans.
How many more do you need?
"I was
sitting stinking like a good dog
drinking in the lap of my farmer
after all day working sedated
I work well day to day."
Dad, come on.
Isn't this the same one
that we saw in Maine?
"Awaken.
My head is aching."
They're so lifelike.
"Loving pink
sky thank god I'm plowing."
Who's that one I wonder?
"Ease my pain
i work so well dumb down."
Oh!
Who knows?
Must be someone famous.
Take the picture, honey.
Time's a wasting.
Hold it, hold it.
Get closer together--
"I'm a
good dog, me and may habits,
but I can't contain I ain't
never caught a rabbit."
Psst.
Beat it.
Where's teepee?
Everyone settle down.
Your mother's trying
to take a picture.
"Hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey."
Put a smile on your face.
Oh, come on.
"How could
that boy with everything that
he's got--"
hold it.
Ok.
"Walk his own
momma to the chopping block?"
All right, everyone
back in the rv.
"Hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey."
We're on a schedule here.
"Wouldn't
you flip if your dog started
talking?"
Will you
beat it, you mutt!
Blah!
"Wouldn't
you trip if on two legs he was
walking?"
Ahhh!
They're moving!
They're talking and--
oh, get me out of here!
Get me out of here!
"I was in the
barn happy and willing 'till I
looked up at the house and i
got these feelings."
Yeah, ok.
Yup.
Glad you two think my
humiliation is hilarious.
I bet nobody uses your
statue as an outhouse.
Oh there it is.
That's my grandparents
from over there.
All right.
This is as far as we go.
You should tell your
grandparents about those men.
They sound like outlaws.
I will.
Thanks for getting me back.
Aw, can't we stick around for
a while, have a little look see?
No.
We're heading back.
Ah, for Pete's sake, Paul!
Why do you always have
to be such a killjoy?
Whoa-- uh-- oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh, oh, oh!
Oh, what did I do?
It's not you, kid.
Whoa!
Oh!
Oh!
What's the matter with you now?
It's my back.
Oh, oh, my back!
Oh!
This hurts!
You could come to the
barn and rest if you want.
Perfect!
Ha, ha!
What?
I haven't carried that
axe in years, Paul.
I forgot how heavy
that thing is.
Whoah.
Can't you let your old buddy
babe rest for just one night?
One.
Night.
Tomorrow we go home-- no
arguing and complaining from me.
No one will see you if
you stay in the barn.
I won't tell my grandparents.
Come on, Paul,
old buddy old pal.
Please?
Sorry it took me
so long, grandpa.
Huh?
What do you mean?
It's just that I saw this
weird guy at the store,
and then this other guy chased
me into the forest and made me
wreck the bike, and--
yeah, yeah, that
sounds like fun.
But you gotta keep it down now.
Grandma's asleep.
Now you kids had better
get some rest, too.
Tomorrow's a big day, you know.
Let's see, what
have we got here.
Six and-- ha ha!
Six and a half feet, Travis!
I'm gonna dream of
blue ribbons tonight!
Hope you guys are hungry.
I raided the fridge.
Travis, I still can't
believe you didn't
let me go into town with you.
And I can't believe you
didn't get back here in time
to help grandpa move the
cabbage onto the porch.
Do you know how much
that vegetable weighs?
Whitney, just calm down.
I will not.
That cabbage was like
5,500,000 pounds!
I can't believe what an
incredibly inconsiderate
jerk you are being.
Uh!
Paul, this is my
sister, Whitney.
He's extremely big.
He's like a giant.
You're like a giant!
Whit, this is Paul bunyan.
Ahem.
Oh, uh, yeah.
And this is babe.
My pleasure.
He can talk?
Yup.
He's a talking ox.
Talking blue ox.
Ok.
Hold that thought.
I don't know what kind of joke
you're trying to play on me,
but it's not funny.
That man there must
be over 15 feet tall!
And animals can't talk.
Whit, that's Paul
bunyan and babe the ox.
Talking blue ox!
They're tall tales, Travis--
really tall tales in this case.
Meaning myths.
Meaning make believe.
Hello?
Grandpa said tall tales
grow out of true stories.
Look at Davy Crockett.
He was real.
Davy Crockett?
Who said anything
about Davy Crockett?
I don't care about
Davy Crockett.
I'm talking about those two guys
in grandpa's barn right now.
Whit, listen.
You can help us.
What am I supposed to do for
a giant and its talking ox?
Talking blue ox.
Blue ox.
Babe's hurt, and,
well, you're really
good at that kind of stuff.
You may be under the impression
that knowing first aid
makes me a medical doctor,
but actually it does not.
Yeah, but you're smart.
True.
Could you just
look at him, please?
Where, exactly, are you
thinking about putting that?
Please, just try to hold still.
No offense, little
miss, but I think
that we need to
travel into the city
where there are sophisticated
doctors who could handle
a special case such as myself.
You're not traveling
anywhere, babe.
Well, then I guess
I'll just die.
All you've got is
a mild back sprain.
There's no need to be
melodramatic about it.
With a little rest and some
ice, you'll be good as new.
Did you tell your grandparents
about those men who chased you?
Grandpa's a little bit deaf.
And tomorrow's the big
day at the county fair,
so they have to be
up really early.
What do you mean
you were chased?
What men are you talking about?
That's it?
You had all afternoon.
That's all you could get?
You're no better than Iris.
These things take time, Norman.
Plus, we ran into
a little trouble.
What are you talking about?
One of the local
hillbilly children
saw me at the general store.
Gustav chased him,
but he escaped.
That's not "trouble".
"Trouble" is not getting all
the deeds signed over to me.
"Trouble" is the biggest deal
of my lifetime falling apart.
"Trouble" is not some brat
seeing your hocus pocus.
Why do you even want that
pitiful farm land anyway?
You don't even like the country.
I don't need to like it.
I just need to own it.
It's part of the bigger
picture, where I'm filthy rich.
You're already rich.
And you're certainly filthy.
I'm afraid you're going to
have to show me this bigger
picture, Norman, if I'm going to
come up with a way to help you.
Well?
Fine!
Over here, Bob.
Stop calling me that.
This is the bigger picture--
the biggest picture the world
has ever seen!
A mall?
Yes.
It looks like a factory.
Exactly.
Exactly!
It's a mall and a factory.
It's the world's first and
only fully automated shopping
experience.
This is bunyanworld.
Named after Paul bunyan, the
most marketable icon this state
has ever produced.
Imagine, Bob, thousands of
cars on an assembly line.
Bunyan.
Bunyanworld.
Bunyanworld.
Bunyanworld.
Bunyanworld.
Bunyanworld.
Bunyanworld.
No more
wishy-washy nincompoops
who can't decide what to buy.
I decide for them.
Ha ha!
All the machines
will be computerized.
No more whiney employees.
Every ounce of
profit will be mine.
If they can't pay,
I'll give them credit.
Delicious, irresistable,
easy credit.
They'll all be indebted to me.
I'll own them.
Ha ha!
Well?
As much as it
shocks me to say so,
Norman, it appears we
aren't so different.
What you want to do is put
people in a trance, do you not?
You rely on expensive
gadgetry, of course,
while I employ my
priceless natural talents.
But still, it's hypnosis.
Partners?
Excellent.
Now, how do we speed this
ingenious project along?
That's what this
is all about, Bob.
Delbert county sits in the
middle of all my property.
Look, look.
I can't build my dream
unless I have all the land.
And these people--
these nincompoops--
are standing in my way.
We've got to speed things up.
Is there any way you could
hypnotize all of them at once?
Of course.
It's just a small matter of
gathering the-- what is it
you called them-- the
nincompoops into one place.
You only came back
to walk Travis home?
That's right.
Well, why did you leave
in the first place?
I was a young man
when I found the tree
stump leading to your world.
I like to explore,
and there was so much
going on here, so
much excitement.
Everyone was going west,
building the country.
Babe and I got swept up
in the pioneer spirit.
My size was an
asset-- babe's too.
We could do more than
the average man and ox,
so people admired
and looked up to us.
And felt good to be appreciated
so we stayed around.
Then things changed.
Machines came.
Big automated lumber mills,
chain saws-- trees started
falling faster than ever.
And soon entire forests
were being wiped out
before our eyes.
I started planting two trees
to replace every one that fell.
That's how I was raised.
But lots of folks
didn't like that idea.
They thought I was standing
in the way in progress.
They seemed different.
They seemed greedy.
Then it wasn't about
the adventure anymore.
And soon I found my
heart just wasn't in it.
I decided to take
my axe and go home.
The sad thing is that i
don't think people even
noticed we were gone.
That's not true.
Don't forget all of the statues.
I'm telling you they're
everywhere from Maine
to Minnesota.
And we learned
about you in school.
Really?
What did you learn
about us in school?
We learned that you
ate a lot of pancakes,
and created the great
lakes, and the Grand Canyon.
What?
That's ridiculous.
Don't lie, now.
You always have liked
the pancakes, pb.
No, I mean the other stuff.
How can they teach
you that in school?
That's nonsense.
Well, obviously, great
lakes in the Grand Canyon
were created millions of
years ago through erosion
and the shifting
of tectonic plates.
I've know that
since kindergarten.
But there are all these
stories called tall tales,
and you're definitely
the tallest.
I'm
a tall tale, huh?
How am I going to do it?
How am I ever going
to get everyone
assembled in one place?
Think, norm, think.
In local news,
developer norm blandsford
is causing quite a stir.
They're talking about me.
Turn it up.
With his attempts
buy all the property
in delbert county for an
as yet undisclosed reason,
blandsford has
aroused suspicions,
and, in one case, a protest.
What?
They're giving airtime
to that crazy blue hair?
You've got to be kidding me.
Can you believe this?
Norm blandsford won't
tell anyone what he intends
to build on all this land.
Why is that?
And I don't trust him one bit.
We're going to have
to move quickly.
In other
news, the prizes
for the largest produce
and finest livestock
will be awarded tomorrow-- the
final day of the delbert county
fair.
These nincompoops
and their stupid fair
make me want to puke.
Goodnight Travis, Whitney.
Thanks for your hospitality.
Sure, no problem.
See you in the morning.
Wha-- what is that?
What are you talking about?
You can't hear that?
It's making my teeth vibrate.
Whoa!
Whoah-ho!
Babe?
What's gotten into you?
Whoah!
What was that about?
It was just an airplane.
An air plane?
You mean people
can fly now, too?
Actually, a lot of lights you
see in the sky aren't stars.
They're planes.
So many changes.
I think we're going to have to
say goodbye to you kids now.
We're heading out
at daybreak, babe.
Why do you have to go so early?
What's the matter?
I suppose you can
say I'm a little...
"Freaked out".
Oh, for crying out loud.
Are you kidding me?
This is like trying to
sleep in a lumber mill
with all that snoring.
Ah.
Pretty lights.
Wow.
What a sight.
Is that beautiful or what?
I mean it looks like a field
of fireflies doesn't it?
Oh!
Huh.
Good evening ladies.
Say is that the town of
delbert, because if it is-- boy
I haven't been there in, hm,
must be 100 some odd years.
And back then it
was nothing more
than a dirt road and a couple
of little wooden shacks.
So that you ladies
live around here?
Yeah, you know I'm just
in for the night myself.
I've got a nice place
to stay over there
on the other side of
the hill, and-- hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Oh.
So sorry.
Beg your pardon.
I didn't mean to disturb you.
I'm just going to
leave you in peace, ok?
I'm going to go.
Ok.
This is not going to end well.
Be reasonable, litttle fella!
Come on, it was an accident.
Ow!
Oh!
Watch the horns!
Oh, hey!
Oh, whoa!
Oh, whoa!
Keep running.
Just keep running.
Ah, sweet mercy.
Sweet angels of mercy.
Ah.
Must.
Drink.
Now.
Hey, has, uh-- has
anyone seen the cabbage?
Oh, Walter, you're
forgetting yourself.
You already loaded it.
What?
You loaded it.
You loaded it!
Paul?
All right.
You kids run around, have fun.
Grandma and me will
get the cabbage
entered in the competition
and meet up with you later.
Whitney, I need
you to cover for me.
What are you talking about?
It's Paul.
He was supposed to
leave a dawn, right?
But I heard him whistle for
babe just as we were leaving,
which means he's still
here and may be in trouble.
Travis, if he's in
trouble, what are you
supposed to do about it?
He's Paul bunyan and you're 12.
Please, Whitney?
Thanks.
Paul!
Travis?
I thought you were
supposed to be at the fair.
I heard your whistle.
Is everything ok?
What are you doing?
Looking for prints.
Babe's disappeared.
What?
It looks like he's
been gone for hours.
I'll help you find him.
That's all right,
it's not your problem.
Yes it is.
If it weren't for me, you
wouldn't be here right now
and babe wouldn't be missing.
You know what?
I'm helping you look for him
and you can't talk me out of it.
What in the world?
Oh my.
You know, I've been thinking.
If I'm going to perform a
mass hypnotism of this scale,
an increase in my
fee is in order.
What are you talking about?
I'm already paying you more
than you make in five years.
What more could you want?
Equal partnership.
Equal?
Equal?
Ha!
Be serious.
What is it, Iris?
Excuse me, sir, but I think
you should see something.
You are this close to
being fired, Iris, it better
be something big.
What the heck is that thing?
How shall I know?
Some sort of farm
creature, no doubt.
Is it alive?
Regrettably, yes.
It's ok, you're
going to be fine.
Iris, call someone.
Have them cart this
thing off my property.
But sir, I think he needs a vet.
I don't care.
Just get rid of it.
Go!
That is the biggest
ass I have ever seen.
What did you say?
Just-- that's a big ass.
What?
Hmm?
Oh.
Yeah, yeah, right.
Right, it's gigantic.
But I think it's
actually an ox, isn't it?
Wait a minute.
Hold everything.
Iris don't move.
If you even breathe,
you're fired.
I think I've finally got it.
I figured out how we can do it.
This ought to be interesting.
We're talking about this ox.
We're taking this ox
to the county fair.
And why on earth
would we do that?
Because we're going to
prop him up, paint him blue,
and make him an attraction!
We'll say he's babe,
the great blue ox.
This is Minnesota
for crying out loud.
The entire town will
want to check them out,
and they'll all be
at the fair already.
It's perfect!
Yes.
Yes, that might actually work.
Oh, poop.
Over here.
What did you find?
Just what I said.
What?
Poop.
You mean--
yup.
There are his tracks.
Good job, Travis.
Oh, how awful.
Who put that horrible
contraption on you?
People can be so
disappointing sometimes.
Woah!
Boy, that one had
been building up.
Oh!
Oh, boy my stomach
feels like lead.
You can talk.
Well, if I don't have
a dang muzzle on, I can.
Hey, what's going on?
Where I am?
You're at blandsford
development.
Ok.
And how far is that
from Travis' house?
I'm sorry.
I'm afraid I'm not acquainted
with anyone named Travis.
I'm Iris.
Well, pleased to
meet you, Iris.
I'm babe.
Would that be babe,
the great blue ox?
Usually.
You're really you-- i
mean him-- I mean babe?
Well, as far as I know.
But, man, I do not
feel like myself.
What hit me?
Did you drink any of
the water out back?
Yeah, I might have
drank like half of it.
Why?
Because it's toxic.
Poisonous.
Poisonous water.
Huh.
Now I've heard everything.
It is time to go.
Hey, what is going on here?
What's with the chains?
I didn't see those.
Oh, this is terrible.
I'll go get the key.
Will you be ok?
Me?
Oh yeah.
No, I'll be fine.
You know, occasionally i
get a little claustrophobic.
Like right now.
Get me out of here!
Fresh air, fresh air, fresh air.
Well, it's not the freshest
air I've ever tried,
but at least I'm outside.
Quiet, or he'll hear you.
He, who?
I think it's Mr.
blandsford-- my boss.
Once we have all the property,
how soon can we start building?
Stop with the we.
I start building once
the land is cleared.
You will get your
insanely huge paycheck
and go back to whatever
dump you live in.
How long will it take
to clear the land?
I don't know.
Six months or so.
Why?
Can't it happen more quickly?
I was thinking something
like this might help.
You need to go find
my friend, Paul.
Paul?
Paul bunyan?
He's probably out there
looking for me right now.
And boy, is he going to
be mad when he finds me!
Where's the axe?
Huh?
Oh no.
No, no, no, no.
This is not good-- not good.
This is not good at all.
You need to go find
Paul right away.
This is not good.
Yes.
Ok.
You just tell me where he is.
How do I find him?
You know how to
whistle, don't you?
That's it.
She's definitely fired.
Oh no you don't.
Where is my dart gun?
Ah, there it is.
Ha, ha!
Oh, yeah, baby.
I still got it.
Ow, who shot my a-- oh.
You shot him?
Quit your crying.
It's just a tranquilizer dart.
I had to subdue him, didn't I?
And how are we supposed to
move him in that condition?
He must weigh a ton.
Relax.
I've got just what we need.
If memory serves me,
there's a good view
from the top of this hill.
We should be able
to see for miles.
What's that over there?
I think that's the company
my grandma's protesting.
I wish I was as
big as you, Paul.
Why?
So I could do big things
like lift up a train
or jump a building
like a superhero,
or not be afraid of the
guys that chased me,
or not be afraid of
the football team.
You don't need to be big to
do big things. Shh.
Babe?
Babe!
Oh!
Excuse me, miss, but why
were you whistling like that?
Oh, babe told me that's
how I could find you.
You're Paul, right?
Of course you are.
You're defnitely
Paul-- Paul bunyan.
That's right.
And this is Travis.
And you are--
uh, hello.
I'm Iris ingram.
Babe wanted me to find you.
He said you'd be out looking
for him and you need the axe.
But I couldn't lift it, and
babe's still chained up.
Hold on.
Slow down.
Babe's chained up?
Yes.
In Mr. blandsford's garage.
We've got to get
him out of there.
Who's Mr. blandsford?
He's my boss.
No he was my boss.
I quit-- not officially,
yet-- but I'm not going back.
I started working
for him a week ago,
but he didn't think I was doing
a good job, even though it
wasn't my fault
that people didn't
want to sell their farms.
I don't blame them.
I like it here, too.
But Mr. blandsford
brought his brother,
and they've been
working together and--
slow down, Iris.
I'm sorry.
Can you take us to babe?
Yes, I can.
Can you take us there now?
Oh, right.
Let's go.
This way.
Having fun, dear?
Oh.
Where's Travis gone to?
He-- um-- uh-- he's
on the tilt-a-whirl.
Yeah.
He really loves it.
All the tilting and
all the whirling.
Well, I'm going to go make
sure he hasn't thrown up.
Bye!
He's gone.
Wh-- this is where they had
him, chained right here.
What happened?
Well, it looks like he
tore the place apart.
Can you think of anywhere
else he might be?
They were going to take
him to the county fair.
Come see babe!
Come see babe!
The great blue ox, in the flesh!
Tonight only!
Get your tickets!
Free tickets!
Babe, the great blue ox.
Get that muzzle on him.
We don't want any blue
haired bitties in hysterics.
Did you get the paint?
Mm-hmm.
Well, get cracking.
Come on.
Blue.
My favorite.
It's all to do with this.
What is it?
It's a mall-- the kind of place
i was telling you about before.
Where you hang out?
Where's the town?
Where's my forest?
They're going to
burn it all down.
Look!
There's my grandparents' farm.
Did your grandparents sell
their farm to this man?
No way.
They would never sell it.
They love living here.
Hardly anybody wants to sell.
Then how is he going to
get everyone's property?
Now, then.
Now, maybelle, if you would
just please sign your name here.
When I snap my fingers,
you are going to wake up.
You will feel proud and
happy to have made this deal.
Zob-key-boz
they're going to
hypnotize them.
That what I saw blackstone
doing at the general store.
He made Mrs. Mundy sign
her store over to him.
That's why he chased me.
If they get everyone
together at the fair,
blackstone can hypnotize
the entire town all at once!
That's why they wanted babe.
Paul, we've got to do something.
Wait.
Have you ever driven
your boss's car before?
I'm going to push you
a little faster, ok?
Not too fast, please.
I usually don't drive.
I'm more of a two-wheel person.
Here we go!
Straight to the fair, Iris!
Now, on to the prizes
for the biggest livestock.
Third prize, for the
fattest pig, goes to--
ladies and gentlemen, allow
me to interrupt, please.
May I have your attention?
Tonight is a night
you'll remember
for the rest of your lives.
Tonight, you will
be part of history.
Your eyes will rest upon
that animal other people only
know as a legend.
Where on earth is Travis?
He wouldn't want to miss this.
I'm sure he'll be here
in a second, grandma.
You will be able to say you saw
this legend in person-- right
here at your little county fair.
Ladies and gentleman,
we present to you--
babe, the great blue ox!
Babe?
Babe!
Babe!
Travis, where are you?
Oh, I don't drive!
I don't have my license!
What's that?
The engine started.
Slow down, hit the brakes.
I can't!
That was the gas pedal.
Oh, it's so much faster and
less dangerous than my bicycle,
but I still can't control it!
Woah!
Right, right, right!
Oh, we're going
so fast, I just--
can we stop for
a bathroom break?
Oh, no!
Slow down.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is
your state's beloved tall tale
come to life.
Look at his magnificent size.
Gaze upon his stature.
Stare at his blue coat.
Stare at it.
Listen to the sound of my voice.
Feel yourself getting sleepy.
Feel your mind fall
under my control.
You've gotta believe us.
It's the truth.
Paul bunyan, you say?
Yes.
He was right behind us.
Didn't you see him?
No.
We need to get to the
fair as soon as possible.
We have to stop the hypnosis.
And we have to help babe.
Babe?
Babe!
The great blue ox, of course.
Heh, heh, heh.
Sign here, here,
and initial here.
Next!
Sign here, here,
and initial here.
Next!
Sign here, here,
and initial here.
Next!
Sign here, here,
and initial here.
Next!
Grandpa!
Sign here, here,
and initial here.
Next!
What are you doing?
Grandma, it's me, Whitney!
What's wrong?
You're making a mistake.
We've got to get to the fair.
Why won't you believe us?
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe it's because
bunyan and babe
are tall tales that
haven't been told
since the turn of the
century-- the last century.
Never heard them used to get out
of a speeding ticket, though.
Gotta say, that's a new one.
Wait!
That's him.
That's who?
Oh, there you two are.
Ho.
What do you think you're doing?
I think it's quite clear.
Don't be smart.
Hand them over.
Would you get that cheap
flashlight out of my face.
I'm warning you.
Give me those deeds!
I'm really so sick
of your screaming.
Too many years I've
lived in your shadow,
considered your inferior.
Tonight, it's time
to reveal the truth.
The truth is, I've always
outclassed and outsmarted you,
but you were always too
stupid to realize it.
But unlike you, I'm
a patient person.
But tonight, I will finally
collect my just reward.
Clearly you lack the grace to
carry off my dramatic look.
Still, I don't think anyone
will notice the difference.
Do you?
From now on, Norman, you will
believe yourself to be me
in thought, word and deed.
Tell me you understand, brother.
I understand, brother.
Goodbye, Bob.
Where is everyone?
Travis!
Paul!
Over here, quick!
What's wrong with them?
They're hypnotized.
Oh.
Paul!
Am I glad to see you!
Where are blandsford
and blackstone?
One is over there, and the
other one just took off, Paul.
Sheriff?
I'm on it.
Show me where the
other one went.
Travis-- grandma and grandpa,
they signed over their farm.
What are you doing?
I just need to
remember the word.
What word?
The word blackstone
used to release
Mrs. Mundy from her trance.
I heard him say it, but
i can't remember it.
Woz, seeba, something?
Ugh!
Where's the axe?
Hang on.
Uh, hang on.
Uh, the axe, the axe,
the axe, the axe--
don't tell me.
Ah, come on.
Let me think.
Let me think.
The axe.
You lost it?
I didn't lose it.
I was too busy being poisoned,
and shot, and chained,
and gagged, and
generally humiliated,
to see where it went, ok?
You need to find that axe
while I go find blandsford.
Torch the place.
Ooh.
Heh, heh, heh.
Come on, come on.
Hey!
Boss?
Wait for me!
Get out of the way!
The only one who's
going somewhere is you--
and that's to jail.
And who are you?
Paul bunyan.
Really.
But don't you think you
should stop worrying about me
and be more
concerned about them?
Oh, dear.
Decisions, decisions.
Boss!
Boss!
You waited, thank you,
thank you, thank you!
Crush him, you imbecile.
But-- but that's Paul bunyan.
Oh, of course it isn't him.
Huh?
Ah!
Coward!
Start pushing.
Huh?
Zob-boz-- zob-key--
boz-key-zob.
Travis, you need to hurry!
Hold on, I've almost got it.
Paul!
Oh, no.
What are we going to do?
Remember what I said, Travis.
You don't need to be
big to do big things.
The crowd is trapped in there
and we can't hold the fire
back much longer.
The county fire
department is on its way,
but they might not
make it in time.
Huh?
Oh no!
Paul!
Paul, where are you going?
Travis?
I need that word.
Just keep trying.
Will this help?
Yeah!
They had thrown it in
the back of the truck.
I told you, I just needed
a minute to think about it.
Ha ha, yeah.
Babe, thank you!
Um.
Not enough water!
We need some water.
This hose is so--
zob-key-boz!
Zob-key-boz!
Whoa!
You know, you would think
if a guy was Paul bunyan,
he might have heard
of the word timber!
Oh, my babies.
Grandma!
Grandpa!
Those guys over
there hypnotized you
into signing over
your properties
so they can build a big mall!
You!
You stupid, greedy,
double-crossing hack!
This is all your fault.
That's Paul bunyan!
It is.
It's Paul bunyan,
and that's babe.
It's damp, but it's
evidence, all right.
It's his fault!
Here, let me give
you a hand with that.
He ruined everything!
Shut it, you blithering
waste of space.
I'm allergic to paint!
Oh, no, I have probably
already lost half my hearing.
Hello?
Hello?
Are you talking to me?
I can't hear you.
I'm right here, babe.
Sorry.
Say again?
Hello?
Hello?
I see your lips moving.
Hello?
We always knew you existed.
Excuse me, folks.
One second.
Mr. bunyan?
You saved our
lives and our town.
We just can't thank you enough.
Glad to have helped.
Your grandchildren were
both very brave today.
Well, I guess it's that time.
I guess so.
I'm not so good at farewells.
Actually, he's not that
good at hellos, either.
Goodbye, Whitney.
Bye, Paul.
I'm so pleased that you're
not just a tall tale.
You know, Travis,
you're the real reason
all these people are safe.
We did a big thing
tonight, huh, Paul?
Yes, we did.
We sure did.
Bye!
Bye, Paul and babe!
Hello!
Hey, Iris!
Woah!
Oh, mail call!
Yeah!
What did we get?
What did we get?
When did we get?
Oh, this one's
a note from Iris.
Ha ha!
Really?
What does it say?
None of your business.
Ok.
Heh heh.
Who's the other one from?
Who's the other one from?
What?
Aw, come on.
Don't leave me in suspense!
It's from Travis and Whitney.
Guess who they were for
Halloween this year?
Oh,
that freaks me out.
"Oh, how I wish
that I was big like you
stronger in every way,
bigger than life
I can see myself
spreading a smile to everyone
and I know this feeling
is where I can be
out of the shadows
of disbelieving
lumbering taller than
the red pine trees
come and follow me
I can do anything
if I can dream it
then my life can sing
with my friends all by my side
we don't have to be
big to do big things.
There are some days
I feel so small I know
no one can hear my voice
and I remember
I need to use my strength
from deep down inside my heart
so give me a reason
to show you my smile
it's brighter than
a brand new day
the smaller the dreams
are, the harder to hold
so bring on the mountains,
get out of my way
I can do anything
if I can dream it
then my life can sing
with my friends all by my side
we don't have to be
big to do big things.
Don't have to be
big to do big things
I know it's true, i
learned it all from you
I learned it all from you, yeah
sometimes big on the
outside doesn't mean
you have the strength
to move a mountain
or a heart
I can do anything
if I can dream it
then my life can sing
with my friends all by my side
we don't have to be
big to do big things.
With my friends all by my side
we don't don't have to
be big to do big things."
"I was
sitting stinking
like a good dog drinking
in the lap of my farmer
after all day working
sedated I work well day to day
awaken
my head is aching
loving pink sky
thank god I'm plowing
ease my pain
I work so well dumb down.
I'm a good dog,
me and my habits
but I can't contain i
ain't never caught a rabbit
hey hey hey hey hey
how could that boy
with everything that he's got
walk his own momma
to the chopping block
I said hey hey hey hey hey
wouldn't you flip if
a dog started talking
and wouldn't you trip if
on two legs he was walking
I was in the barn
happy and willing
'till I looked up at the house
and I got these feelings."