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Bunyan and Babe (2017)
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Travis. Travis! What? --You just ruined my game, Whitney. Travis, mom's looking for you. I'll be right there, mom. Are you even packed? Are you even human? What other species could I be? Travis, what are you doing? Where's your bag? Grandpa's ready to go. Hello there, kids. Ugh. Ugh. Hello? Yeah, one sec. Hold on. Mom, do I have time to run over to Rick's house? No. It's time to go. Here's your bag. No, I can't. Me and Whitney are leaving for my grandparents' farm. Yeah believe me, i do not want to go. My parents want us to rediscover nature, or whatever. Hey! Bye Rick. He'll see you in a few weeks. Travis, remember our agreement-- no cell phones, no video games. Oh, so in other words, no fun. I won't survive more than a day. You know that, right? Why wouldn't you survive? You'll have food, water, and shelter, all the essentials for survival. Mom. Whitney honey, why don't you take your things down to the truck? I don't want to go this year. Why can't Whitney just go by herself? Because I said so. Let's go. I'm not going. I think I'm big enough to make my own decisions. Hee. It's only for a few weeks, Travis. You'll live. Come here, give me a hug. Okey-dokey, kids, you ready to roll? Pop, you drive carefully, ok? It's not a race. Eh, keep up a good pace? Well, I'll do my best. And we're off. Don't forget to take a bath and brush your teeth. Blah, blah and be nice to your sister. Bye. Have fun. Be good. There's one from north Dakota. Now I only need Indiana, Kansas, Missouri, and Ohio and I'll have the complete midwest. And how many states do you have, Travis? You are such a grump. Grumpy mcgrumpster, woke up today-- grumpy mcgrumpsteen, and a voice was-- grumpy mcgrumpacuddy, older-- grumpy mcgrumperpants, than my heart,-- grumpy mcgrumpcake. Please, be quiet, whitless. --Which carries a scar. You just proved my point. Please tell me we're there. The dreams that I've been dreamin'-- what? Bears don't wear hats. No, grandpa. --Take me back to Kentucky. Are we there yet? Eh, almost. Ooh, look, there's Paul bunyan. Well, we're halfway home. He sure is big. It's just another statue, whitless. I didn't think he was real. We read all about him in school. He was the world's greatest lumberjack. A folk hero of the American frontier. Hey now, just because there are folk tales about a man doesn't mean at one time he didn't really exist. How do you two think legends get started, anyways? You know, as much as i like visiting the big city, it sure is nice to come home to some familiar faces. Hey, how are ya? Hey! You know, delbert hasn't changed a lick since your grandma and I were kids. Ooh, which reminds me, we have to pick her up before we head to the farm. Pick her up? Oh, there she is. If I see one more broken down farm truck, I swear I'm going to break something. I mean what a friggin' cliche. Just look at that one. Old Freddy farmer out there picking up his pain-in-the-neck blue-haired wife. Iris, what the heck are you doing? Excuse me, sir. You told me to notify you when your commercial is on. What? Want to make the perfect deal? Then call blandsford development, where perfection is the norm. What could you possibly be writing? Some notes, sir. I think the graphics could use some work. And you were a little stiff in that take. Did I ask you to take notes? I didn't hire you for your opinions, Iris. You better watch it, or your first week will be your last. My first week of what, sir? Of working here, Iris. Get it together. Now how many deeds did you get today? Oh, one family accepted your offer, sir, out of the 20 I called today. I've color-coded the file, orange for oleson family, since oleson starts with "o" and so does the word-- one property? One property? A measly one property? What is wrong with these people? I don't think there's anything wrong with them, sir. I found that the majority just don't want to sell their farms and businesses. They really like living in delbert. What is there to like, Iris? Answer me that. Delbert county is a pathetic Hicksville filled with backwards nincompoops. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I'm gonna need to call Bob. Bob? Blackstone. Oh, blackstone, right, of course. Sir, one question, who is blackstone? I am the great and mysterious blackstone. Now, look into my hand. Yes, the lights. The lights. When I, the amazing blackstone, snap my fingers, you will follow my every word, perform every deed I command. Mhm. You are now, a chicken. Monkey. Rock star. Sleep. Eee-oop. When you awake, you'll remember nothing. Zob-key-boz. Ahh, haha. --Unappreciative neanderthals. Don't they recognize brilliance when they see it? How many more weeks are we booked in this so-called venue? They didn't renew our contract, boss. Hello, Mr. blackstone, I'm calling from norm blandsford's office. And your point is? H-he'd like to see you, sir. He said he'd make it worth your while. How much worth my while? Oh. Well, here we are. Home at last. I get mom's old room! So, which blue ribbon are you aiming for this year, granddad? Oh, I've got my eye on biggest cabbage, mm-hm. Can't wait to show you kids the crops. Got some regular monsters growin' out there, boy howdy. Oh, they can see 'em tomorrow, honey. The kids need time to unpack and get ready for bed. So what's going on with the picketing, grandma? A company called blandsford development is trying to take over our town. And I'm protesting. Huh? What's that? --I'm just telling Travis about my protest! What do you mean? I just had it checked. No, protest! You know Travis, your grandma's the town's first activist. Grandma, look! I've grown approximately three inches since last summer. That comes up to 7.62 centimeters. It sounds bigger in metric. Your turn, Travis. It's ok. Kids grow at different rates. I'm going to go brush my teeth and get ready for bed like mom said. It's not even dark yet, Whitney. You know what grandpa says. Early to bed, early to rise. Wait, how early is early? "Woo hoo hoo, it's time to wake up on the sunny side. Today is another time to try. Making everything all right. Rainbows glowing in the sky every morning and it makes me smile. Now the day ahead looks like a dream. Woo hoo hoo. It's time to wake up on the sunny side. Today is another time to try. Making everything all right. Woo hoo hoo. When my eyes see the rays of light, the day ahead seems fun and bright. Love having you right by my side. Rainbows glowing in the sky every morning and it makes me smile. Nothing is as hard as it first seemed. Sunshine and rainbows, outside my window. Cock-a-doodle-doo. Wake up wake up, wake up, woo hoo hoo. It's time to wake up wow --on the sunny side. Today is another time to try making everything all right. All right, all right, all right. It's time to wake up on the sunny side. It's time to wake up on the sunny side." Whatcha doing, grandpa? Oh, Travis, my boy. You snuck up on me. Oh, sorry grandpa. Can you run into town for me, Travis, on official county fair business? Sure. Go to Mundy's general store and pick up a tape measure, a long one. I think we have ourselves a real contender here. You got it, grandpa. You're a champ. You are a champ. Just look at you. Hey, where are you going? Errand in town for grandpa. Oh, can I come too? Do chickens have lips? What? Of course not. They have maxillary and mandibular beaks, why? Later, nerd face. Humph. Can I get you gentlemen something to drink? We have root beer, sassafras tea, or PR-prune juice. Just tell Norman his brother is here. Oh, you're Mr. blandsford's brother. Lamentably, yes. What is it, Iris? Your brother is here to see you, sir. Oh! Hoo. Hello, Bob. Blackstone. My name is blackstone. What, off-stage too? That's ridiculous. It's my name. What's with that stupid accent? Is that supposed to be British? We're from Philly, for crying out loud. Come on-- if you don't drop the theatrics, I can't take you seriously. Funny, I was under the impression you needed my help? Right, fine. Ok. Down to business. I need... That. The parking lot? Don't be smart, I'm talking about the property I need to acquire. Everything you see past that gate-- the town, the farms, that's what I need. Right. I'm off. Good luck with that. You just got here, Bob. It's blackstone, Norman. Don't make me tell you again. You know I've never cared much for your little real estate deals, so I don't know why you would think I'd be interested now. Can't you just listen for one second? Hm. I've tried everything with these people. I've tried making offers they can't refuse. I've tried muscle. But no one wants to sell. One of them has even started picketing. I need that town. And so I need you to do whatever mumbo jumbo it is you do to get people to do things they don't know they're doing and then make 'em think they wanted to do them. I believe the word you're thrashing about for is hypnosis. Whatever. Will you help me or not? Hypnotize people into signing over their property to you? Oh, well I suppose I could, if the price was right. Here you go. And tell your granddad i said good luck. I will Mrs. Mundy, thanks. Mhm. Keep your eyes peeled. Mhm. Would you happen to be Mrs. Mundy? Yes. How can I help you, sir? Hello, I represent blandsford development-- I've already told Mr. blandsford I'm not interested. That's final. Oh, I think you'll reconsider. Ever seen one of these? Hm, uh, ooh. I don't believe I have. Hm. Mhm. Oh, hm. Now maybelle, if you would just please sign your name here. And here, here, initial here. Lovely. Now then maybelle, when I snap my fingers, you're going to wake up. You will feel proud and happy to have made this deal. Zob, key, boz. Oh, thank you sir, thank you so much. No dear, thank you. You there, I'd like a word with you, boy. Uh oh. Get back here, you little urchin! The scoundrel! The brat saw me. Get after him! Right, boss. Get after him! Oh no. Whoa! Nice moves, kid. Not again. "I'm not running away." Hello. Thanks, come again. Come back soon. You! You get back here. --Here, kitty, kitty, kitty. I'm gonna find you, sooner or later. Huh? Hm? No, no, no. Get out, get out. Come on. Oof. I know you're up there. Whoa ugh, ooh! Hoo. Whoa! Whoa, whoa! Oof. Phew. Oh my-- ugh. Hello? Hello? Anybody here? Whoa. Fee fi, fo, fum. I can't remember the rest of that rhyme. Something about grinding up your bones. Easy there. I didn't mean to scare ya. Me and my stupid jokes. Sorry, I just haven't had a chance to use the "giant" gag in a while. Hey, how's that bump on your head? Must be feeling ok if you were able to get down from that chair. That's one heck of a jump for you. Do you understand me? Good. I'm Paul, by the way. Paul bunyan. You must be hungry. I'm gonna whip us a bunch of pancakes. How's that sound? What's your name? T-Travis. Travis barclay. Well Travis, my guess is you're a long way from home. I found you knocked out underneath one of those oaks over yonder. From the looks of the trek you made, I'd say you slid down a hollow tree root. Am I right? Yeah I think so, yeah. I know where you're from. And I know how to get you back. Don't worry. Let's get some food in you first. You're really Paul bunyan. That's right. I'm coming! Keep your flannel on. Oh, hey now. A tiny kid? Hah, where'd he come from? Fell out of that root up-river. Out of the root? Well that means he's from-- that's right. And that's where he's going back just as soon as he's had some breakfast. But he just got here. Aww, there's so much to talk about. Eat your pancakes, babe, then saddle up. Saddle up? Really? I'm not a mule. You know, you'd think after all this time together, he might treat me like an equal. But no. Saddle up. Humph. That's why my back's all out of whack in the first place. I really can't believe this. How is this possible? Maybe I'm dreaming. Oh what are you trying to figure out? I thought you were a folktale. Hah, don't tell me you've never seen an ox. I've seen an ox before, just not one that was blue and giant and could speak. Plus the stories about you are from a really long time ago. You should be really old, like 100 or something. We're giants, kid. We're three times bigger than you. And we live three times longer than you. That's how come we've still got the youthful good looks, huh. What is this place anyway? This here is red river valley, where we were born. Paul and I moved back here when he gave up the logging, and-- well, haven't been back to your world since. Boy, I bet it's really something now, huh? All the changes, the inventions, the modern conveniences. I mean what are people doing for fun these days? I don't know, tons of stuff. Like what? What's your favorite pastime? Sometimes I go to the mall. The mall? Haha. What is that? What do you do there? I hang out with friends and, you know, just chill. You chill? Not "chill" chill, like "brr chill". More like, just, "chill out". Hm. Chill out, huh? Afraid I don't see the fun in that, but hey, who am I to judge? So, Travis, mind telling me how you ended up falling through that root? Well I was at the general store on an errand, and then this weird guy came in, and then this other guy chased me in. And I ran into the forest and hid in this tree trunk. And then I slipped and-- someone chased you? Why? Who were they? I don't know. Miss Mundy-- the owner of the store-- she was signing these papers and then the weird guy said this weird word. And then she shook his hand. And then this other guy was after me. It was-- it was totally bizarre. Eh, you can say that again. There it is. Yep, grew up so big it broke right through into your world, like a tunnel. Whoa. Let's get to climbing. I can find my own way. You don't need to walk me out. I'm sure you can. Truth is, I'm kind of interested in seeing this forest again. A lot of time has passed since I've been here. These were always such beautiful trees. Red pines, mostly. Weren't they, babe? Mmhmm. Wait, I thought you were a lumberjack and you chopped trees down? I did chop trees down. Doesn't mean I don't appreciate a good forest. I'm happy to see it's doing so well. Thank you, mr gladstone. It's a pleasure doing business with you. No, sir. Thank you. Where's the boy. Uh, he got away. What? Get out! He was really hard to catch, boss. Idiot. You couldn't catch a cold. Boss-- wait! Wait! Boss! Wait for me! There's grandpa's bike. Oh man. How am I going to explain this? Any sign of the man who chased you? No. He was driving a black car. How far is it to your grandparents' farm? It didn't seem all that far this morning, but I had a bike then. Paul! Paul, Paul, Paul, Paul, Paul, the kid is clearly traumatized. First he was chased by a hoodlum who is probably lying in wait for him somewhere right now. And then he loses his only form of transportation. I mean we've got to escort him home safe. It's the only decent thing to do. I know what the decent thing to do is, babe. Wait-- what the heck is that noise? What were those things? Oh, they sure stink. I guess they didn't have cars the last time you were here, huh? Cars? Ooh. Hello, can I help you? I am a salesman, madam. I've got a great deal on these brand new flashlights. I'm sure you've never seen anything like them. Well, I'll be. Will you look at that. What's that grandma? Oh, Whitney, come look at this toy. It's not a toy. What the-- ah, who's this fellah? He's selling flashlights. What? Flashlights! They're so cute. How much for two? Um, there's not really any wagons anymore. It's all cars. Here comes another one. Looks like an rv. Um, who's arvey? Boy are they going to freak out when they see you. What do you mean freak out? Like surprised, and scared, and shocked, and you know-- freaked out. Why? Because you're both giants. And you can talk. That is not at all normal up here. He's right, babe. Keep your mouth shut. Well, what about the giant part? Here, do this. What are you doing? Trust me on this. Don't blink. Don't breathe. They'll think you're a statue. Why would they think that? Because there's statues of you and babe all over the place. Statues? Oh, look at those. They're so lifelike. We've got to stop and get a picture. We've already taken pictures of umpteen different Paul bunyans. How many more do you need? "I was sitting stinking like a good dog drinking in the lap of my farmer after all day working sedated I work well day to day." Dad, come on. Isn't this the same one that we saw in Maine? "Awaken. My head is aching." They're so lifelike. "Loving pink sky thank god I'm plowing." Who's that one I wonder? "Ease my pain i work so well dumb down." Oh! Who knows? Must be someone famous. Take the picture, honey. Time's a wasting. Hold it, hold it. Get closer together-- "I'm a good dog, me and may habits, but I can't contain I ain't never caught a rabbit." Psst. Beat it. Where's teepee? Everyone settle down. Your mother's trying to take a picture. "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey." Put a smile on your face. Oh, come on. "How could that boy with everything that he's got--" hold it. Ok. "Walk his own momma to the chopping block?" All right, everyone back in the rv. "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey." We're on a schedule here. "Wouldn't you flip if your dog started talking?" Will you beat it, you mutt! Blah! "Wouldn't you trip if on two legs he was walking?" Ahhh! They're moving! They're talking and-- oh, get me out of here! Get me out of here! "I was in the barn happy and willing 'till I looked up at the house and i got these feelings." Yeah, ok. Yup. Glad you two think my humiliation is hilarious. I bet nobody uses your statue as an outhouse. Oh there it is. That's my grandparents from over there. All right. This is as far as we go. You should tell your grandparents about those men. They sound like outlaws. I will. Thanks for getting me back. Aw, can't we stick around for a while, have a little look see? No. We're heading back. Ah, for Pete's sake, Paul! Why do you always have to be such a killjoy? Whoa-- uh-- oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, oh, oh! Oh, what did I do? It's not you, kid. Whoa! Oh! Oh! What's the matter with you now? It's my back. Oh, oh, my back! Oh! This hurts! You could come to the barn and rest if you want. Perfect! Ha, ha! What? I haven't carried that axe in years, Paul. I forgot how heavy that thing is. Whoah. Can't you let your old buddy babe rest for just one night? One. Night. Tomorrow we go home-- no arguing and complaining from me. No one will see you if you stay in the barn. I won't tell my grandparents. Come on, Paul, old buddy old pal. Please? Sorry it took me so long, grandpa. Huh? What do you mean? It's just that I saw this weird guy at the store, and then this other guy chased me into the forest and made me wreck the bike, and-- yeah, yeah, that sounds like fun. But you gotta keep it down now. Grandma's asleep. Now you kids had better get some rest, too. Tomorrow's a big day, you know. Let's see, what have we got here. Six and-- ha ha! Six and a half feet, Travis! I'm gonna dream of blue ribbons tonight! Hope you guys are hungry. I raided the fridge. Travis, I still can't believe you didn't let me go into town with you. And I can't believe you didn't get back here in time to help grandpa move the cabbage onto the porch. Do you know how much that vegetable weighs? Whitney, just calm down. I will not. That cabbage was like 5,500,000 pounds! I can't believe what an incredibly inconsiderate jerk you are being. Uh! Paul, this is my sister, Whitney. He's extremely big. He's like a giant. You're like a giant! Whit, this is Paul bunyan. Ahem. Oh, uh, yeah. And this is babe. My pleasure. He can talk? Yup. He's a talking ox. Talking blue ox. Ok. Hold that thought. I don't know what kind of joke you're trying to play on me, but it's not funny. That man there must be over 15 feet tall! And animals can't talk. Whit, that's Paul bunyan and babe the ox. Talking blue ox! They're tall tales, Travis-- really tall tales in this case. Meaning myths. Meaning make believe. Hello? Grandpa said tall tales grow out of true stories. Look at Davy Crockett. He was real. Davy Crockett? Who said anything about Davy Crockett? I don't care about Davy Crockett. I'm talking about those two guys in grandpa's barn right now. Whit, listen. You can help us. What am I supposed to do for a giant and its talking ox? Talking blue ox. Blue ox. Babe's hurt, and, well, you're really good at that kind of stuff. You may be under the impression that knowing first aid makes me a medical doctor, but actually it does not. Yeah, but you're smart. True. Could you just look at him, please? Where, exactly, are you thinking about putting that? Please, just try to hold still. No offense, little miss, but I think that we need to travel into the city where there are sophisticated doctors who could handle a special case such as myself. You're not traveling anywhere, babe. Well, then I guess I'll just die. All you've got is a mild back sprain. There's no need to be melodramatic about it. With a little rest and some ice, you'll be good as new. Did you tell your grandparents about those men who chased you? Grandpa's a little bit deaf. And tomorrow's the big day at the county fair, so they have to be up really early. What do you mean you were chased? What men are you talking about? That's it? You had all afternoon. That's all you could get? You're no better than Iris. These things take time, Norman. Plus, we ran into a little trouble. What are you talking about? One of the local hillbilly children saw me at the general store. Gustav chased him, but he escaped. That's not "trouble". "Trouble" is not getting all the deeds signed over to me. "Trouble" is the biggest deal of my lifetime falling apart. "Trouble" is not some brat seeing your hocus pocus. Why do you even want that pitiful farm land anyway? You don't even like the country. I don't need to like it. I just need to own it. It's part of the bigger picture, where I'm filthy rich. You're already rich. And you're certainly filthy. I'm afraid you're going to have to show me this bigger picture, Norman, if I'm going to come up with a way to help you. Well? Fine! Over here, Bob. Stop calling me that. This is the bigger picture-- the biggest picture the world has ever seen! A mall? Yes. It looks like a factory. Exactly. Exactly! It's a mall and a factory. It's the world's first and only fully automated shopping experience. This is bunyanworld. Named after Paul bunyan, the most marketable icon this state has ever produced. Imagine, Bob, thousands of cars on an assembly line. Bunyan. Bunyanworld. Bunyanworld. Bunyanworld. Bunyanworld. Bunyanworld. Bunyanworld. No more wishy-washy nincompoops who can't decide what to buy. I decide for them. Ha ha! All the machines will be computerized. No more whiney employees. Every ounce of profit will be mine. If they can't pay, I'll give them credit. Delicious, irresistable, easy credit. They'll all be indebted to me. I'll own them. Ha ha! Well? As much as it shocks me to say so, Norman, it appears we aren't so different. What you want to do is put people in a trance, do you not? You rely on expensive gadgetry, of course, while I employ my priceless natural talents. But still, it's hypnosis. Partners? Excellent. Now, how do we speed this ingenious project along? That's what this is all about, Bob. Delbert county sits in the middle of all my property. Look, look. I can't build my dream unless I have all the land. And these people-- these nincompoops-- are standing in my way. We've got to speed things up. Is there any way you could hypnotize all of them at once? Of course. It's just a small matter of gathering the-- what is it you called them-- the nincompoops into one place. You only came back to walk Travis home? That's right. Well, why did you leave in the first place? I was a young man when I found the tree stump leading to your world. I like to explore, and there was so much going on here, so much excitement. Everyone was going west, building the country. Babe and I got swept up in the pioneer spirit. My size was an asset-- babe's too. We could do more than the average man and ox, so people admired and looked up to us. And felt good to be appreciated so we stayed around. Then things changed. Machines came. Big automated lumber mills, chain saws-- trees started falling faster than ever. And soon entire forests were being wiped out before our eyes. I started planting two trees to replace every one that fell. That's how I was raised. But lots of folks didn't like that idea. They thought I was standing in the way in progress. They seemed different. They seemed greedy. Then it wasn't about the adventure anymore. And soon I found my heart just wasn't in it. I decided to take my axe and go home. The sad thing is that i don't think people even noticed we were gone. That's not true. Don't forget all of the statues. I'm telling you they're everywhere from Maine to Minnesota. And we learned about you in school. Really? What did you learn about us in school? We learned that you ate a lot of pancakes, and created the great lakes, and the Grand Canyon. What? That's ridiculous. Don't lie, now. You always have liked the pancakes, pb. No, I mean the other stuff. How can they teach you that in school? That's nonsense. Well, obviously, great lakes in the Grand Canyon were created millions of years ago through erosion and the shifting of tectonic plates. I've know that since kindergarten. But there are all these stories called tall tales, and you're definitely the tallest. I'm a tall tale, huh? How am I going to do it? How am I ever going to get everyone assembled in one place? Think, norm, think. In local news, developer norm blandsford is causing quite a stir. They're talking about me. Turn it up. With his attempts buy all the property in delbert county for an as yet undisclosed reason, blandsford has aroused suspicions, and, in one case, a protest. What? They're giving airtime to that crazy blue hair? You've got to be kidding me. Can you believe this? Norm blandsford won't tell anyone what he intends to build on all this land. Why is that? And I don't trust him one bit. We're going to have to move quickly. In other news, the prizes for the largest produce and finest livestock will be awarded tomorrow-- the final day of the delbert county fair. These nincompoops and their stupid fair make me want to puke. Goodnight Travis, Whitney. Thanks for your hospitality. Sure, no problem. See you in the morning. Wha-- what is that? What are you talking about? You can't hear that? It's making my teeth vibrate. Whoa! Whoah-ho! Babe? What's gotten into you? Whoah! What was that about? It was just an airplane. An air plane? You mean people can fly now, too? Actually, a lot of lights you see in the sky aren't stars. They're planes. So many changes. I think we're going to have to say goodbye to you kids now. We're heading out at daybreak, babe. Why do you have to go so early? What's the matter? I suppose you can say I'm a little... "Freaked out". Oh, for crying out loud. Are you kidding me? This is like trying to sleep in a lumber mill with all that snoring. Ah. Pretty lights. Wow. What a sight. Is that beautiful or what? I mean it looks like a field of fireflies doesn't it? Oh! Huh. Good evening ladies. Say is that the town of delbert, because if it is-- boy I haven't been there in, hm, must be 100 some odd years. And back then it was nothing more than a dirt road and a couple of little wooden shacks. So that you ladies live around here? Yeah, you know I'm just in for the night myself. I've got a nice place to stay over there on the other side of the hill, and-- hello? Hello? Hello? Oh. So sorry. Beg your pardon. I didn't mean to disturb you. I'm just going to leave you in peace, ok? I'm going to go. Ok. This is not going to end well. Be reasonable, litttle fella! Come on, it was an accident. Ow! Oh! Watch the horns! Oh, hey! Oh, whoa! Oh, whoa! Keep running. Just keep running. Ah, sweet mercy. Sweet angels of mercy. Ah. Must. Drink. Now. Hey, has, uh-- has anyone seen the cabbage? Oh, Walter, you're forgetting yourself. You already loaded it. What? You loaded it. You loaded it! Paul? All right. You kids run around, have fun. Grandma and me will get the cabbage entered in the competition and meet up with you later. Whitney, I need you to cover for me. What are you talking about? It's Paul. He was supposed to leave a dawn, right? But I heard him whistle for babe just as we were leaving, which means he's still here and may be in trouble. Travis, if he's in trouble, what are you supposed to do about it? He's Paul bunyan and you're 12. Please, Whitney? Thanks. Paul! Travis? I thought you were supposed to be at the fair. I heard your whistle. Is everything ok? What are you doing? Looking for prints. Babe's disappeared. What? It looks like he's been gone for hours. I'll help you find him. That's all right, it's not your problem. Yes it is. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't be here right now and babe wouldn't be missing. You know what? I'm helping you look for him and you can't talk me out of it. What in the world? Oh my. You know, I've been thinking. If I'm going to perform a mass hypnotism of this scale, an increase in my fee is in order. What are you talking about? I'm already paying you more than you make in five years. What more could you want? Equal partnership. Equal? Equal? Ha! Be serious. What is it, Iris? Excuse me, sir, but I think you should see something. You are this close to being fired, Iris, it better be something big. What the heck is that thing? How shall I know? Some sort of farm creature, no doubt. Is it alive? Regrettably, yes. It's ok, you're going to be fine. Iris, call someone. Have them cart this thing off my property. But sir, I think he needs a vet. I don't care. Just get rid of it. Go! That is the biggest ass I have ever seen. What did you say? Just-- that's a big ass. What? Hmm? Oh. Yeah, yeah, right. Right, it's gigantic. But I think it's actually an ox, isn't it? Wait a minute. Hold everything. Iris don't move. If you even breathe, you're fired. I think I've finally got it. I figured out how we can do it. This ought to be interesting. We're talking about this ox. We're taking this ox to the county fair. And why on earth would we do that? Because we're going to prop him up, paint him blue, and make him an attraction! We'll say he's babe, the great blue ox. This is Minnesota for crying out loud. The entire town will want to check them out, and they'll all be at the fair already. It's perfect! Yes. Yes, that might actually work. Oh, poop. Over here. What did you find? Just what I said. What? Poop. You mean-- yup. There are his tracks. Good job, Travis. Oh, how awful. Who put that horrible contraption on you? People can be so disappointing sometimes. Woah! Boy, that one had been building up. Oh! Oh, boy my stomach feels like lead. You can talk. Well, if I don't have a dang muzzle on, I can. Hey, what's going on? Where I am? You're at blandsford development. Ok. And how far is that from Travis' house? I'm sorry. I'm afraid I'm not acquainted with anyone named Travis. I'm Iris. Well, pleased to meet you, Iris. I'm babe. Would that be babe, the great blue ox? Usually. You're really you-- i mean him-- I mean babe? Well, as far as I know. But, man, I do not feel like myself. What hit me? Did you drink any of the water out back? Yeah, I might have drank like half of it. Why? Because it's toxic. Poisonous. Poisonous water. Huh. Now I've heard everything. It is time to go. Hey, what is going on here? What's with the chains? I didn't see those. Oh, this is terrible. I'll go get the key. Will you be ok? Me? Oh yeah. No, I'll be fine. You know, occasionally i get a little claustrophobic. Like right now. Get me out of here! Fresh air, fresh air, fresh air. Well, it's not the freshest air I've ever tried, but at least I'm outside. Quiet, or he'll hear you. He, who? I think it's Mr. blandsford-- my boss. Once we have all the property, how soon can we start building? Stop with the we. I start building once the land is cleared. You will get your insanely huge paycheck and go back to whatever dump you live in. How long will it take to clear the land? I don't know. Six months or so. Why? Can't it happen more quickly? I was thinking something like this might help. You need to go find my friend, Paul. Paul? Paul bunyan? He's probably out there looking for me right now. And boy, is he going to be mad when he finds me! Where's the axe? Huh? Oh no. No, no, no, no. This is not good-- not good. This is not good at all. You need to go find Paul right away. This is not good. Yes. Ok. You just tell me where he is. How do I find him? You know how to whistle, don't you? That's it. She's definitely fired. Oh no you don't. Where is my dart gun? Ah, there it is. Ha, ha! Oh, yeah, baby. I still got it. Ow, who shot my a-- oh. You shot him? Quit your crying. It's just a tranquilizer dart. I had to subdue him, didn't I? And how are we supposed to move him in that condition? He must weigh a ton. Relax. I've got just what we need. If memory serves me, there's a good view from the top of this hill. We should be able to see for miles. What's that over there? I think that's the company my grandma's protesting. I wish I was as big as you, Paul. Why? So I could do big things like lift up a train or jump a building like a superhero, or not be afraid of the guys that chased me, or not be afraid of the football team. You don't need to be big to do big things. Shh. Babe? Babe! Oh! Excuse me, miss, but why were you whistling like that? Oh, babe told me that's how I could find you. You're Paul, right? Of course you are. You're defnitely Paul-- Paul bunyan. That's right. And this is Travis. And you are-- uh, hello. I'm Iris ingram. Babe wanted me to find you. He said you'd be out looking for him and you need the axe. But I couldn't lift it, and babe's still chained up. Hold on. Slow down. Babe's chained up? Yes. In Mr. blandsford's garage. We've got to get him out of there. Who's Mr. blandsford? He's my boss. No he was my boss. I quit-- not officially, yet-- but I'm not going back. I started working for him a week ago, but he didn't think I was doing a good job, even though it wasn't my fault that people didn't want to sell their farms. I don't blame them. I like it here, too. But Mr. blandsford brought his brother, and they've been working together and-- slow down, Iris. I'm sorry. Can you take us to babe? Yes, I can. Can you take us there now? Oh, right. Let's go. This way. Having fun, dear? Oh. Where's Travis gone to? He-- um-- uh-- he's on the tilt-a-whirl. Yeah. He really loves it. All the tilting and all the whirling. Well, I'm going to go make sure he hasn't thrown up. Bye! He's gone. Wh-- this is where they had him, chained right here. What happened? Well, it looks like he tore the place apart. Can you think of anywhere else he might be? They were going to take him to the county fair. Come see babe! Come see babe! The great blue ox, in the flesh! Tonight only! Get your tickets! Free tickets! Babe, the great blue ox. Get that muzzle on him. We don't want any blue haired bitties in hysterics. Did you get the paint? Mm-hmm. Well, get cracking. Come on. Blue. My favorite. It's all to do with this. What is it? It's a mall-- the kind of place i was telling you about before. Where you hang out? Where's the town? Where's my forest? They're going to burn it all down. Look! There's my grandparents' farm. Did your grandparents sell their farm to this man? No way. They would never sell it. They love living here. Hardly anybody wants to sell. Then how is he going to get everyone's property? Now, then. Now, maybelle, if you would just please sign your name here. When I snap my fingers, you are going to wake up. You will feel proud and happy to have made this deal. Zob-key-boz they're going to hypnotize them. That what I saw blackstone doing at the general store. He made Mrs. Mundy sign her store over to him. That's why he chased me. If they get everyone together at the fair, blackstone can hypnotize the entire town all at once! That's why they wanted babe. Paul, we've got to do something. Wait. Have you ever driven your boss's car before? I'm going to push you a little faster, ok? Not too fast, please. I usually don't drive. I'm more of a two-wheel person. Here we go! Straight to the fair, Iris! Now, on to the prizes for the biggest livestock. Third prize, for the fattest pig, goes to-- ladies and gentlemen, allow me to interrupt, please. May I have your attention? Tonight is a night you'll remember for the rest of your lives. Tonight, you will be part of history. Your eyes will rest upon that animal other people only know as a legend. Where on earth is Travis? He wouldn't want to miss this. I'm sure he'll be here in a second, grandma. You will be able to say you saw this legend in person-- right here at your little county fair. Ladies and gentleman, we present to you-- babe, the great blue ox! Babe? Babe! Babe! Travis, where are you? Oh, I don't drive! I don't have my license! What's that? The engine started. Slow down, hit the brakes. I can't! That was the gas pedal. Oh, it's so much faster and less dangerous than my bicycle, but I still can't control it! Woah! Right, right, right! Oh, we're going so fast, I just-- can we stop for a bathroom break? Oh, no! Slow down. This, ladies and gentlemen, is your state's beloved tall tale come to life. Look at his magnificent size. Gaze upon his stature. Stare at his blue coat. Stare at it. Listen to the sound of my voice. Feel yourself getting sleepy. Feel your mind fall under my control. You've gotta believe us. It's the truth. Paul bunyan, you say? Yes. He was right behind us. Didn't you see him? No. We need to get to the fair as soon as possible. We have to stop the hypnosis. And we have to help babe. Babe? Babe! The great blue ox, of course. Heh, heh, heh. Sign here, here, and initial here. Next! Sign here, here, and initial here. Next! Sign here, here, and initial here. Next! Sign here, here, and initial here. Next! Grandpa! Sign here, here, and initial here. Next! What are you doing? Grandma, it's me, Whitney! What's wrong? You're making a mistake. We've got to get to the fair. Why won't you believe us? Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's because bunyan and babe are tall tales that haven't been told since the turn of the century-- the last century. Never heard them used to get out of a speeding ticket, though. Gotta say, that's a new one. Wait! That's him. That's who? Oh, there you two are. Ho. What do you think you're doing? I think it's quite clear. Don't be smart. Hand them over. Would you get that cheap flashlight out of my face. I'm warning you. Give me those deeds! I'm really so sick of your screaming. Too many years I've lived in your shadow, considered your inferior. Tonight, it's time to reveal the truth. The truth is, I've always outclassed and outsmarted you, but you were always too stupid to realize it. But unlike you, I'm a patient person. But tonight, I will finally collect my just reward. Clearly you lack the grace to carry off my dramatic look. Still, I don't think anyone will notice the difference. Do you? From now on, Norman, you will believe yourself to be me in thought, word and deed. Tell me you understand, brother. I understand, brother. Goodbye, Bob. Where is everyone? Travis! Paul! Over here, quick! What's wrong with them? They're hypnotized. Oh. Paul! Am I glad to see you! Where are blandsford and blackstone? One is over there, and the other one just took off, Paul. Sheriff? I'm on it. Show me where the other one went. Travis-- grandma and grandpa, they signed over their farm. What are you doing? I just need to remember the word. What word? The word blackstone used to release Mrs. Mundy from her trance. I heard him say it, but i can't remember it. Woz, seeba, something? Ugh! Where's the axe? Hang on. Uh, hang on. Uh, the axe, the axe, the axe, the axe-- don't tell me. Ah, come on. Let me think. Let me think. The axe. You lost it? I didn't lose it. I was too busy being poisoned, and shot, and chained, and gagged, and generally humiliated, to see where it went, ok? You need to find that axe while I go find blandsford. Torch the place. Ooh. Heh, heh, heh. Come on, come on. Hey! Boss? Wait for me! Get out of the way! The only one who's going somewhere is you-- and that's to jail. And who are you? Paul bunyan. Really. But don't you think you should stop worrying about me and be more concerned about them? Oh, dear. Decisions, decisions. Boss! Boss! You waited, thank you, thank you, thank you! Crush him, you imbecile. But-- but that's Paul bunyan. Oh, of course it isn't him. Huh? Ah! Coward! Start pushing. Huh? Zob-boz-- zob-key-- boz-key-zob. Travis, you need to hurry! Hold on, I've almost got it. Paul! Oh, no. What are we going to do? Remember what I said, Travis. You don't need to be big to do big things. The crowd is trapped in there and we can't hold the fire back much longer. The county fire department is on its way, but they might not make it in time. Huh? Oh no! Paul! Paul, where are you going? Travis? I need that word. Just keep trying. Will this help? Yeah! They had thrown it in the back of the truck. I told you, I just needed a minute to think about it. Ha ha, yeah. Babe, thank you! Um. Not enough water! We need some water. This hose is so-- zob-key-boz! Zob-key-boz! Whoa! You know, you would think if a guy was Paul bunyan, he might have heard of the word timber! Oh, my babies. Grandma! Grandpa! Those guys over there hypnotized you into signing over your properties so they can build a big mall! You! You stupid, greedy, double-crossing hack! This is all your fault. That's Paul bunyan! It is. It's Paul bunyan, and that's babe. It's damp, but it's evidence, all right. It's his fault! Here, let me give you a hand with that. He ruined everything! Shut it, you blithering waste of space. I'm allergic to paint! Oh, no, I have probably already lost half my hearing. Hello? Hello? Are you talking to me? I can't hear you. I'm right here, babe. Sorry. Say again? Hello? Hello? I see your lips moving. Hello? We always knew you existed. Excuse me, folks. One second. Mr. bunyan? You saved our lives and our town. We just can't thank you enough. Glad to have helped. Your grandchildren were both very brave today. Well, I guess it's that time. I guess so. I'm not so good at farewells. Actually, he's not that good at hellos, either. Goodbye, Whitney. Bye, Paul. I'm so pleased that you're not just a tall tale. You know, Travis, you're the real reason all these people are safe. We did a big thing tonight, huh, Paul? Yes, we did. We sure did. Bye! Bye, Paul and babe! Hello! Hey, Iris! Woah! Oh, mail call! Yeah! What did we get? What did we get? When did we get? Oh, this one's a note from Iris. Ha ha! Really? What does it say? None of your business. Ok. Heh heh. Who's the other one from? Who's the other one from? What? Aw, come on. Don't leave me in suspense! It's from Travis and Whitney. Guess who they were for Halloween this year? Oh, that freaks me out. "Oh, how I wish that I was big like you stronger in every way, bigger than life I can see myself spreading a smile to everyone and I know this feeling is where I can be out of the shadows of disbelieving lumbering taller than the red pine trees come and follow me I can do anything if I can dream it then my life can sing with my friends all by my side we don't have to be big to do big things. There are some days I feel so small I know no one can hear my voice and I remember I need to use my strength from deep down inside my heart so give me a reason to show you my smile it's brighter than a brand new day the smaller the dreams are, the harder to hold so bring on the mountains, get out of my way I can do anything if I can dream it then my life can sing with my friends all by my side we don't have to be big to do big things. Don't have to be big to do big things I know it's true, i learned it all from you I learned it all from you, yeah sometimes big on the outside doesn't mean you have the strength to move a mountain or a heart I can do anything if I can dream it then my life can sing with my friends all by my side we don't have to be big to do big things. With my friends all by my side we don't don't have to be big to do big things." "I was sitting stinking like a good dog drinking in the lap of my farmer after all day working sedated I work well day to day awaken my head is aching loving pink sky thank god I'm plowing ease my pain I work so well dumb down. I'm a good dog, me and my habits but I can't contain i ain't never caught a rabbit hey hey hey hey hey how could that boy with everything that he's got walk his own momma to the chopping block I said hey hey hey hey hey wouldn't you flip if a dog started talking and wouldn't you trip if on two legs he was walking I was in the barn happy and willing 'till I looked up at the house and I got these feelings." |
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