# By the look on
your face I could tell #
# That you had enough
# And the look of guilt
in my eyes #
# Lets you
know that I fucked up #
# And don't you want anything
too close #
# 'Cause one
day you'll have to let it go #
# Yes, I'll go again
Welcome to another
addition of "Flame-Outs."
The show where
we consider the tragic
and sometimes
spectacular deaths
of the world's
greatest musicians.
I am your host,
Lachlan MacAldonich.
I know you can do it.
But the market is
special, all right.
Okay, it's about talking
to the customers
and Lachlan has a
way with them.
Flattery will get
you everywhere.
You gotta rotate,
a higher rotate.
Back up a little bit.
Good.
How we doing tonight, Sir?
Fuck-a-duck.
Where were you heading?
Home.
Where are you coming from?
A bar.
Out of the car, please.
Yes.
You're gonna go against
that wall,
against that chart.
Against the wall.
Look at me, please.
I knew that.
Okay, here we go.
To your right, please.
Is that badass, that look?
Come on, let's get
one taken together.
I don't think so.
Well, Mister McAldon...
MacAldonich, Lachlan
MacAldonich.
Is that Irish?
Excuse me, I am from Scotland.
We have your BAC level
written down here
at point-two-four.
That is an aggravated DUI,
which means that your license
is suspended,
effective immediately.
Four months for one DUI.
What a crock.
I tell you, Warren.
You see, back in the UK
they would have
dumped me on the front
step and rang the bell.
Well, maybe when I was a kid.
Yeah, here too.
That's...
that's that's bullshit.
Well, what am I gonna
do about Saturday now?
Shit.
Goddamn DUI.
What the hell, man, I...
I thought you
were smarter than that.
Oh, shut up.
You know, in a previous life,
I'd only get to see this side
of Saturday in the arse end.
Bet you had some crazy
nights back in the day, huh?
Yeah...
Ancient history now.
Yeah, I know.
Fuck off.
This guy comes home
one day, right?
He says to his wife,
"There's a rumor going
around at work
"that the postman has had sex
with every woman on this street
except one."
And she says, "I bet
it's that stuck-up co-ed
at number fifty-six."
Oh, that's what
I'm trying to figure out.
Ain't that always the way?
How about a radish?
- Radish?
- Yeah.
I know it sounds crazy.
Try a little salt, a
little butter, fantastic.
Yeah, you cook?
I don't cook.
A customer told me.
You all right there, my friend?
I see you've been eyeing
these eggs?
How many would you like?
These eggs are laid with love.
Happy chickens.
Cage free, chemical free,
hormone free.
Matter of fact, the only thing
that ain't free is the cost.
Four dollars for the dozen.
Thank you very much.
All right, Beau?
Hey, Lachlan...
How you doin'?
Good...
What's good today?
Thank you, Sir.
Tomatoes are spectacular.
"Peachy" tomatoes.
- Yeah... Peachy?
- Yeah.
I think you can do
better than that sign.
They'll work with the sea
bass I just picked up.
I have some mushrooms,
lemon, and capers.
Very tasty.
Well, work's been really
slow lately,
so I've had
plenty of time to cook
pathetically elaborate dinners.
That's perfect.
When do I get to try one?
I told you, when I get
an invite to your farm.
You have had
an invite for months.
Oh, by the way, my
boyfriend is here.
He, uh, he usually works
late Friday nights,
so he can't make it,
but I dragged his ass out of
bed this morning.
Hey, Paul...
Come here.
Look, if you do want to come,
it's quite simple really.
If you leave at the
ass-crack of dawn.
Yes, thank you very
much, Julian, thank you.
Back to work.
Thanks.
- How ya doin'?
- Oh, um, Paul this is Lachlan.
Nice to meet you.
You're both musicians.
- Oh yeah, what do you play?
- I'm a DJ.
- A really good one.
- Right.
Some good stuff in
the bins over there.
Yeah, I just found The Beach
Boys "Sunflower" over there.
Classic.
Hell of a lot better than
"Pet Sounds",
if you ask me.
A fellow contrarian, I see.
Absolutely.
Did you get a coffee?
I did not get a coffee
'cause the coffee guy's
too slow
and I couldn't wait any longer.
You ready to go?
Yeah... I'm just gonna get
these and, yeah.
Well, it's nice to see you
this morning, Beau.
Nice to meet you too, Paul.
- I'm gonna go pay for
that record. - Cool.
What's the damage on these?
Oh, just make that a buck.
- No.
- I'm telling you.
Thank you.
There you go.
All right, Robinson Farm,
Road 28.
I'll sleep with one eye open.
Okay.
See ya.
Bye.
All right, my friends,
Some lovely carrots here,
some lovely zucchini.
We've got...
You ready?
Yep.
Drive downtown.
Where to?
Towards the tall buildings.
What for?
I want to stop somewhere
before we go home.
You took the FST.
I'm sorry, I took the what?
Field Sobriety Test.
Yeah, well he had me get
out of the car
and stand on one leg.
If I hadn't been so drunk,
I'd have probably found the
whole thing rather humiliating.
And I probably would've
passed it as well.
There's no such
thing as passing those tests.
No matter what you do,
it's just more evidence
against you.
You should never agree to them.
Well that's good to know, now.
Thanks.
Okay.
If we plead guilty,
I do my courtroom thing,
I can probably get you four
months suspended license
plus a fine in the neighborhood
$4,000. or $5,000.
Wow.
That's the best
you're gonna get.
Oh, one other thing.
What's your immigration status?
Permanent legal resident.
Got a green card,
been here for years.
Good...
No prior arrests?
One.
You have a prior?
Arrest or conviction?
Half an ounce
of marijuana or something.
It was a long, long time ago.
But you're gonna need to
speak to an immigration lawyer.
I have a guy I recommend,
David Piper,
and I'll see if he can see you
first thing Monday morning.
Yeah, but I-I'm a
permanent legal resident.
- I got a green card.
- No, doesn't matter.
You should talk to Piper,
he's the guy.
Uh, oh, one last thing,
and this is important.
Do not drive while
your license is suspended.
We don't want to have a bad
situation get worse.
Okay?
- You all right?
- Yeah.
You mind if I go hang out?
Yeah, yeah.
All right.
Enjoy yourself, have fun.
We have a winner!
Jacob Welsh.
There's a bunch of kids
out there stuffing their face
with cherry pies.
Am I the only one that
finds that vaguely disturbing?
I met with your lawyer
friend today.
He seems like a decent guy.
I'll probably have to consult
with an immigration lawyer now.
What the hell's that mean?
You're illegal?
Fuck off, Warren.
I'm practically
American these days.
They wouldn't
recognize me back home.
Did you see Melodie
out there today?
No.
She's like flippin'
that baton...
Boom!
Grabbed it out of the air
every single time,
never dropped it once.
But I remember Julian back
in the day, you know,
he's like out there dressed up
like a little cherry tree.
And he's, you know,
he's giving it everything
he's got, you know.
And it's like, every year
I dread coming to this thing.
And then I get here and I see
my kids and the parade
and I'm just, you know...
Hey, I'm...
I'm sorry, man.
Oh.
Not at all, Warren.
That's an absolutely
beautiful sentiment, brother.
Cheers.
Welcome to another
edition of "Flame-Outs".
The show where we
discuss the tragic
and sometimes
spectacular deaths
of the world's greatest
musicians.
I am your host,
Lachlan MacAldonich.
Tonight, Marc Bolan,
of T. Rex.
Back in the 1970's this guy was
the biggest star in the UK.
Immensely talented.
His car hit a tree
outside London
when he was just shy of 30.
His poor wife was driving.
Some would say that
Marc Bolan truly met his end
nine days previously when,
during his
last public appearance,
he slipped and fell over
on the TV
in front of millions.
His old pal, David Bowie,
standing there beside
him laughing,
already well on
his way to a lifetime
of Ziggy stardom.
But, this broadcast
is about tragedy.
And what could
be more tragic in the annals
of British Rock than
Marc Bolan?
A rocker with
a genuinely good heart
who became all flabby
and egotistical.
Man, he broke some
hearts back in the day.
Including mine.
I must have listened to
this record at least
But hey, I promised I wouldn't
talk about myself
on "Flame-Outs" until
I'm actually dead.
So, in the meantime,
let's just stick to Marc Bolan.
# I love a girl
she is a changeless angel #
# She's a city it's a pity
that I'm like me yeah #
# I said how can I lay
when all I do is play #
# The spaceball ricochet
# I'm just a man
I understand the wind #
# And all the things that
make the children cry #
# With my Les Paul
I know I'm small #
Tell me about your
prior conviction.
Well, it's all a bit
of a blur now, really.
More than fifteen years ago.
But I was getting on a plane,
next thing you know,
I'm getting taken in for grass.
Drugs.
Yeah.
Had them in my bag.
Stupid.
Anyway, I was in a
band at the time.
And our manager, he sorted it.
He... No more than a
speeding ticket,
he said at the time.
Yeah, you got a good manager.
Uh, what kind of visa
were you on?
I don't remember.
H-1-B?
"Extraordinary ability",
something like that, yeah.
Oh, those are tough to get.
I know.
You wouldn't think to
look at me now.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
Well, look, uh, all right.
Here's the issue as I see
it right now, okay?
Um, under
current immigration law,
both the DUI and possibly this
prior drug conviction
count as
violations of moral turpitude.
I- I'm sorry
to interrupt you, um,
I'm just a bit confused about
the immigration side of this.
I've got a green card.
I mean, surely that means
I'm practically a citizen here.
No.
Not at all.
You can face removal
proceedings whether you have
a green card or not.
It doesn't matter.
Shit.
Look...
No offense to anyone, you know.
But I ain't a terrorist.
I'm not a drug mule.
Uh, I'm a moderately
lazy Scotsman.
I just... I just want to live
out the rest of my days
in this lovely
land I've called my home
for the last 12 years.
I can help you.
Good, great.
How much do I owe you?
Well, in these cases I
normally work on an hourly rate.
But I think in your case it's
more cost effective
to go with a flat fee.
Right, okay.
How much is that?
$5,000.
Half up front and, uh, half
when we're done.
Oh, it's Lachlan.
Hey, Wendell!
Look at you, man!
Look at your hair.
Well, that's the music
business, isn't it?
- Good to see you.
- It's good to see you, man.
- How you been?
- I've been well.
- I've been well, yeah.
- Fantastic, okay.
Oh, God, you know, I was in
London last week.
I was at this event with
like Mick and Rod Stewart,
all of them,
and all they could talk
about, Lachlan,
was how fucked
the music business is.
Poor Mick, probably taken
the scrambled flamingo eggs
off the rider.
- Flamingo egg whites, mate.
- Oh, yeah.
Very fit bastard.
Makes Iggy look fat.
For sure.
How you doin', you all right?
Yeah, I'm well, I'm well.
Not playing so much anymore.
No rolling stone, I'm afraid,
too much moss.
But I'm keeping busy.
Doing a lot of
broadcasting at the moment.
Good, good.
Well, it's a podcast,
in actual fact.
But I, like, discuss
the spectacular deaths
of the world's great musicians.
Marvin Gaye, Janis
Joplin, Serge Gainsbourg.
Lindsay Lohan.
Did you do a show on Jed?
No, not yet, no.
Fuck, Wendell, to be honest,
it's more of a hobby, really.
Right.
Well, what do you do for work?
Actually... sorry.
Do you recall
that marijuana charge
that you helped to
get us out of,
way back in
the '96 Glass Houses tour?
No.
Okay, LAX.
- I had some weed in my bag.
- Oh, geez...
Stupidly stuck it through the
X-ray machine like an idiot.
Yeah, I remember.
Well, that small misdemeanor,
coupled with a recent DUI,
means I might
be getting kicked out
of the good ol' US of A.
That's fucking terrible.
Yeah, well, I've got a
lawyer who thinks
he might be able to help me,
but uh, his fee is $5,000.
Fuck.
Wendell.
Come on, man.
You're the only friend
I have left
whose house I have to
drive up a considerable incline
Lachlan, I've told
you a thousand times...
I know... I know what
you said,
and my house is in order,
but it's just a tiny, wee
fucking house, that's all.
Yeah, well, you
just got to have some money
under the fucking bed,
okay, Lachlan.
Okay, right...
I work on a farm.
I don't mind my life.
I don't mind it at
all, in fact, but...
I've got less than
$1,200 in the bank.
I don't even have
a credit card.
I've got money coming in,
Wendell, I can pay you back.
I just cannot go back
to the UK.
Nothing for me there.
And you understand that,
don't you, man?
Yes, I understand that, man.
Do you ever go back?
- No.
- Never?
Never.
Then why the fuck did
you come to me?
'Cause you...
Why the fuck...?
Fuck, 'cause you're
Johnny-on-the-spot, aren't you?
Thrive in a crisis,
and all of that.
To wit, the old drug charge.
Yeah, Johnny-on-the-spot,
that's good.
I cleaned up every shit pile you
ever trod in, and your mates.
- Right, didn't I?
- Yeah.
- That was me doing that.
- I know.
Except the last one.
You've cost me, boy.
You've cost me a lot more
than five grand.
Yeah, well, I think we made you
quite a bit as well, Wendell.
Your brother made it,
all right?
Your fucking brother
made me the money.
Not you.
It wasn't about the money.
You see, what you've got
to understand is,
I haven't given you a thought.
I didn't know whether you
were alive or dead.
- Cheers.
- That's right.
And I was never your
manager, you see, Lachlan.
I was never your
fucking friend.
Jed was the band.
So if they send you back
to England,
I think it would
be about fucking time.
Take care of yourself.
You tight-fisted
mother fucker.
Five grand.
Open the fucking gate!
Five grand, you fucking wank?
Fucking dick.
Hurry up!
Fuck.
The people of the state of
California
have charged
you with one count of violating
California Vehicle Code section
driving under the influence
of alcohol or a drug.
And with one count
of violating Vehicle Code
section 23-152-B
driving with
a blood alcohol content
of point-zero-eight percent
or greater.
These are misdemeanors and
carry with them
a maximum punishment of six
months imprisonment.
How do you plead?
Not guilty, your honor.
Defendant pleads not guilty.
We'll set the pre-trial hearing
for approximately 30 days...
Two shots, please.
Rough day, huh?
Tell me about it.
Yep.
Totally shite fucking day.
Oh, fuck me.
There we go.
That'll be five dollars.
Hey, Beau.
Hey, Paul.
Two weeks runnin', eh?
Yeah.
How were the tomatoes?
Thank you for
pushing them on me.
Beau didn't uh, tell me
who you were last week.
Who am I?
Well, I was spinning
at a party that night
and I put on a song from
"Bank Street Waltz"
by The Cranks.
And I'm looking at the
back of the album,
the band photo.
And I'm like, holy shit.
There you are standing
right next to Jed.
The guy from the fucking
farmer's market.
Man, "Bank Street Waltz"
is literally
my favorite album of all time.
Yeah.
He hasn't stopped talking
about it all week.
Look, I'm doing a party
in a few weeks
at Three of Clubs.
You gotta come.
No, thanks for the invite,
but I don't do anything
like that anymore.
Anything like what?
Anything interesting.
Oh, it's all you know, your
kind of stuff, man.
You see, Blur, Stone
Roses, Black Grape, Oasis.
Look, if you come, I'll
play the whole the entire
side one of
"Bank Street Waltz".
No, you know, I-I've
heard quite enough
of that album, thank you.
No, seriously.
You gotta come.
I really don't want to, man.
Babe.
He can't make it.
Shh...
He's coming.
Shh?
He doesn't want to.
All right, look,
if you change your mind,
it's Three of Clubs next month.
And um, you know, we'll
make you the guest of honor.
It's gonna be amazing.
I hope... I hope you
change your mind.
It's really nice to meet you.
Seriously.
It's a pleasure, it's an honor.
I'm really sorry
about your brother, man.
Cheers...
I appreciate that.
Yeah... Cheers.
So, you were a big
deal back in the day?
I was the guitar player
in a big deal band,
for a moment, yeah.
How come you never
said anything?
You ever heard of The Cranks?
No.
So what do you want me to say?
I don't know.
Something.
"I play guitar.
I'm a big fucking deal."
Something like that.
Jesus Christ.
I didn't think it was
that bad, actually.
Fuck off,
it's "not that bad."
$5,000 fine.
Four months in prison.
It's a first plea offer.
We can push back
on the prison time.
Okay, but we can't go any
further with that
until we find out
what is gonna work best
for your immigration situation.
Yeah, I know,
I understand that.
He says you still haven't
gotten back to him.
I'm trying, man.
It's just...
I know, I'm sorry.
I just don't have the money.
Okay, I...
I understand.
This is what he said
he could do for you.
He'll take a thousand up front,
as a consultation fee.
And then a thousand more to
be paid at a later date.
But we've got to get him
on board right away.
I understand.
I'm possibly interested in
selling an old guitar of mine.
It's a Les Paul 90-60
Sunburst.
How much will one
of those go for nowadays?
Well, that depends on what
kind of shape it's in.
Well, have you heard
of The Cranks, my friend?
Doesn't ring a bell.
No?
Album called
"Bank Street Waltz"?
"Glass Houses?"
No.
Well, they said that
the lead singer
was the British Kurt Cobain.
I thought that was
nonsense, but anyhow...
I... I'm not too big
on British bands.
Well, it was used by the
lead guitarist of The Cranks.
He bought it directly from
Paul Weller of The Jam,
who played it before him.
You're familiar with The Jam?
You work in a music store.
Let me guess, you're
the guy from...
The Cranks...
I was, yeah.
So what kind of
condition is it in?
Trust me, man.
This guitar is of
royal lineage.
It's steeped
in musical history.
Well, my partner is the vintage
guitar buff around here.
Trying to move it fast?
Well, when you finish
gauging interest,
why don't you
just bring it on by,
we'll take a look at it.
Sure, I'll do that.
Thank you.
You fucking loser,
you fucking loser.
I'm sorry I didn't
make it back.
I'll be in bright and
early tomorrow, I promise.
- Yeah, hello?
- Lachlan?
- Yep.
- It's Beau.
From the farmer's market.
Beau, how ya doin'?
Yeah, of course.
I forgot you gave me your phone
number a few months ago.
Yeah, well, yeah,
I forgot too, completely.
I was thinking that
tomorrow I might just want
to get in my car and drive.
Uh, could I come
check out the farm?
I tell you what, tomorrow
it just so happens
to be my day off, so you're
welcome to come
any time you like.
Okay, yeah, sure.
Thank you.
Hey... Welcome.
All right.
So this is where
all my food comes from.
Well, actually this row
here, see the empty row,
you eat all of that.
So, how did you
start working here?
I grew up on a farm.
I actually know how
to do some of this stuff.
A few years ago when an
opportunity came up,
I thought, back to my roots.
And what do you do here?
Are you immigration
or something?
- No.
- A lot of questions.
I'm just...
I am... I'm curious.
Well, I am, in actual
fact, the manager.
Oh.
Warren sells
loads of these, you know,
direct-to-the-consumer
baskets.
I deal with those and
also handle
the wholesale orders.
How do I sign up for a basket?
Well, I could tell you,
but then you wouldn't
have to come to the market
every Saturday.
True.
That is true.
So here we have Burt and Doris.
Oh-ho.
The mental chickens.
Want to help me feed them?
Um, I think I'm...
I'm good.
Thanks.
I'm good.
Watch this,
I'll just be a second.
Okay.
Get back, beasts.
Great.
No skill required.
You're cheating.
I know you're cheating.
I didn't cheat that time.
But you know,
anything for a win.
Warren, I want to see you,
but I'm on my last
legs here, man.
Yeah?
Pretty active
for a school night, huh?
Ah, come on, Warren.
I'm just having a drink.
All right.
I got your Gatorade.
So tell me...
why did you want
to come and see me today?
I don't know.
I guess I've had your farm's
address tacked up
on my fridge for like months.
And every time I see
you I feel like
you're just as sad as I am.
Oh...
Good night.
Night, night.
You know, I don't-I don't
think I should drive.
Well, neither can I.
Listen, my place ain't much,
but you're welcome to
come stay the night.
Oh, um...
It's cool.
Yeah?
No pressure.
We can get a taxi.
Okay?
Welcome.
You weren't kidding.
Well, I told you.
Well, it's not a bad space,
it's just, I don't know,
it needs a
little straightening up.
It's okay, you can say it.
It needs a woman's touch.
I think it's nice.
Do you still play?
No.
Is this the one
you played when...
Mm-hmm.
Will you play me something?
No.
It's the best way to
impress a girl, you know.
I've been known to
use that tactic in my day.
Yeah, I'm sure.
You aren't
gonna give up, are ya?
Mm-mm.
Oh, fuck it...
Any requests?
No, you can choose.
My choice.
Well...
I did have a solo
album once the band broke up.
- It was called...
- I know.
I Googled you last week.
- "California Solo".
- Ooh...
You Googled me, did you?
- Mm-hmm, guilty.
- Oh, my God.
Where has all
the mystery gone, Beau?
You know, I remember the days
when people used to speak
to each other.
Old fashioned.
Okay.
# You know that good times #
# Are so hard to fi... #
I forget the words.
# But all your
yesterdays shine #
# But the dreams come rains
come tomorrow #
# I'm such a long, long way
from what I used to call home #
# And I know so much better
than to leave you alone #
# I guess you and me were
just passing the time #
# And though I may be leaving #
# I'm still glad
# You were once mine
# Your voice sounds so sad #
# And my heart's
filled with sorrow #
# Your tears and my pride
# they're both so hard
to swallow #
# And I love the way
that it starts come what may #
# But I hate the way it
all ends in disarray #
# And when I found out you
took back your sweet hand #
# Ah, but that's okay, babe,
you're still my beauty #
# My beautiful lamb
# So as the teardrops fall #
# do I have to beg
and steal or borrow #
# And when did
yesterday's sun #
# Turn into
raindrops tomorrow #
# I'm guessing that
we were just passing the time #
# But I'll always carry
you with me #
# in the back of my mind
# I've drunk all your wine
when I've been alone #
# Oh
# California I'm solo
but you lead me #
# Lead me home
Wow.
It's been a while.
That was beautiful.
Yeah?
Hey.
Listen, you sleep in the bed,
I'm gonna sleep here.
Oh, we can share the bed.
I mean, we're
both grown-ups.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're absolutely right.
Um...
just so you know...
nothing is going to
happen tonight.
No.
God, of course not, no.
Right.
Long day.
I'm drunk.
What do you think?
Underdeveloped.
Yeah.
But, by how much?
Couple of days, maybe a week.
I don't know.
Yeah, see.
Shit, I need to take this.
Yeah, Mister Domenico.
Okay.
And what is it?
Probation?
I'll have to go to court.
Okay.
All right, cheers.
Bye-bye.
Well, well.
Are you gonna keep us
in suspense?
No.
I got the plea bargain.
I'm not gonna get deported.
Then I guess we're
stuck with ya.
Unfortunately, for you.
Even more unfortunate
for you, my friend.
Lachlan Mac...
MacAldonich.
It's Lachlan MacAldonich.
Tough name to say.
Never take the easy road.
- I'm Carol Brody...
- Hi, Carol.
...your probation officer.
- Right this way.
- Sure.
I'm with Immigration
and Customs Enforcement,
I need you to come with
me, please, sir.
Oh, whoa, whoa,
whoa, what's this?
We'll explain everything.
Miss Brody?
ICE put a hold on you.
You have to go with them.
So, what is this...
So, is this a trap, yeah?
It's standard procedure, sir.
Well, you haven't even read
me my rights yet.
Because you're not
being arrested,
you're just being detained,
Mister McDonald.
Okay, name.
Lachlan MacAldonich.
Date of birth.
First of April, 1969.
All right.
Place of birth.
It's Kilmarnock in
Scotland, in the UK.
K-I-L-M-A-R-N-O-C-K.
Marital status.
Divorced.
Any children?
Yeah, a daughter.
Her age?
Thirteen, I think.
Occupation.
Agricultural worker.
All right,
Mister MacAldonich...
do you know why you've
been detained?
I haven't got a fucking clue.
Well, your case was
referred to this division
after your conviction
on a DUI...
To initiate
removal proceedings.
Sir, this is a fucking joke.
But I've already sorted
all this out with my lawyer.
Wanna watch your language,
please, Sir?
Now this is
your notice to appear.
In about two or three weeks
check with your lawyers for
the exact date.
A judge... I'm sorry, I... I
don't want this.
This is a...
This is a fucking mistake.
Those are your charging
papers for immigration court,
so you're gonna need those.
Yeah, but man, it's a mistake.
Not my problem, sir.
Okay, can I go now, please?
No, you can't.
You have a bond posted
for $10,000.
I thought you said that I
hadn't been arrested.
It's not bail, it's a bond.
Now if you need,
we have a list
of local bail bondsman
who will post bonds for
immigration removal cases.
I recommend you call
one of them.
Do you mind if I
make a phone call from here?
Yeah, go ahead.
Let me call my lawyers.
Tear 'em a new asshole.
Well, well I thought we
took this plea deal
in order to avoid this.
Well, it's not
an exact science.
You make a judgment
based on case law...
Well, well nobody told me
when I was signing up for this
that you were fucking guessing!
All right, calm down...
No, don't tell me to
calm down, Mister Piper.
Don't tell me
to calm down, mate.
I took your sound legal advice.
I paid for your
sound legal advice,
and you've stuck me in
a raft and sold me
right up the fucking river.
We're not there quite yet.
You still have a decent...
We are there.
We're here right fucking now!
Look at us!
We are doing our
best to try and figure out...
Don't do your fucking best!
You go fix this!
You will fix this or
you're gonna understand
why I was kicked out of
every fucking club in the UK!
Do you get that?
I will not go back there!
I will fucking not
go back there!
Okay... Okay.
Well uh, do you have
someone to post your bond?
I tell you what.
You post my bond, friend-o.
I'm sorry,
that's against firm policy.
I got all these Mexicans
working on my farm,
and it's the Scottish guy that
gets into shit with immigration.
Warren, I'm sorry, man...
I'll pay you back.
Yeah, how you gonna do that?
Is your boss planning
on giving you a raise?
Yeah, hello?
Hey, it's David Piper.
You got a sec?
Look, uh, I found out a little
bit more about your situation.
Turns out it was
that old drug arrest.
Three ounces of marijuana found
on your person.
It turns out they could've
deported you at any point
in the last fifteen years.
Then why didn't they?
Well, no one was
paying any attention.
Basically, we got two options.
Um, first one, you accept
the removal ruling,
you go back home,
and you never come back.
Oh, please, please don't
tell me I have to pack my bags.
- Come on.
- No, no, not necessarily.
The second option is this.
It's something we call
extreme hardship.
We would basically have to
prove that your removal
from the country would
cause extreme hardship
to a US citizen.
It's the only viable
choice we've got here.
Anyone you can think of?
I don't believe
there's anyone who gives a toss
whether I'm here or not.
Now that was The Cranks.
First track from the album
"Back Street Waltz".
I haven't listened to
this for many years, my friends,
but what a ball we had.
What a ball.
I cannot humbly
call him one of the greats.
But fuck it, yes I can,
because that's
exactly what he was.
Jed MacAldonich.
He never followed a single
rule from the moment
he was conceived.
Grew up listening to the records
of The Smiths, New Order.
When he was seventeen
he made a pilgrimage
to the Hacienda Night Club
in Manchester with his
little brother in tow.
A few years later they were
playing The Hacienda.
They and The Cranks.
We were The Cranks.
A couple years after that
we recorded an album
at Abbey Road Studios:
"Magical One".
But the death of Jed
MacAldonich did not happen
in England, my friends.
No.
His demise came in a shining
death trap
we call the Hollywood Hills.
Recording the third album,
his stupid little brother
brought in some bad drugs
to keep him
going through the night.
He kept hassling Jed
to take it.
He didn't care
that Jed was determined
to go straight, you know?
To straighten out.
But the little brother,
he never went back to the UK.
How could he?
How could he face the family?
Devastated fans.
Angry friends.
He knew what he'd done.
And he didn't need anyone
to fucking tell him.
Jed's best
years were still to come.
We didn't see past that.
Excuse me.
Excuse me, hello?
Julian, customer.
- I'm busy.
- Oh, shit.
You okay?
- You okay? - Thanks. Yeah.
- Okay.
Two bucks, ma'am.
- Two?
- Yeah.
Thank you.
Oh, fuck.
Hey.
Slow day?
Well, I'm slow today.
That's for sure.
Everything okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
How are you?
Not great.
Paul and I decided
to take a break.
I don't like the idea
of cooking just for myself.
Well, I eat.
Oh, you do, do you?
Mmm-hm, a lot, yes.
And I know that's all I
can help you with
because I'm a shite cook.
So, you would like to come
over for dinner.
No, no.
Well, yeah...
I mean, you said, you know,
you need another mouth to feed.
Well, I do.
Okay, cool.
All right, I'll text you my
address.
Yeah, sure.
Find us something to eat
then, all right?
Right... Thanks.
Hey, Julian.
Yeah.
I'm gonna be
staying in LA today.
No.
I'm not unloading the truck
by myself again.
Julian, listen, life is
happening to me, man.
I'm powerless to stop it.
Yeah, well you're supposed
to be there to unload
the truck when
it gets back to the farm.
Come on... Hey.
My dad's gonna be pissed.
I'll talk to him
in the morning, okay?
Excuse me, my friend.
Um, does
Catherine Breem live here?
She doesn't live here, no.
Shit.
Well, she lived here
a few years back.
I'm sorry to bother you.
Hang on.
She's our landlord
we rent the house from.
Oh, right.
Do you know where
she happens to live now?
I'm an old friend.
All right, let me give
you her number first.
- You can...
- Thank you.
You can call her.
Fantastic...
Thank you so much.
Fuck-a-duck.
Hello?
- Hi, is that Catherine?
- Yeah.
It's you-know-who.
Oh my...
Lachlan?
Yeah, how are you doin'?
Hah!
Surprise,
sur-fucking-prise.
that where you're living?
Uh, it's Antelope Valley.
No, well at the moment,
actually, I'm smack bang
in the middle of
our old stomping ground.
What for?
Well, I stopped by our
old place,
the guy told me you'd moved.
And he gave you my number?
Yeah, well it's
the accent, remember.
It causes Americans
to trust me.
Oh.
Is something wrong?
No, no, no, why?
Well, you're calling me.
Okay, listen, can we meet
up somewhere?
Jesus, Lachlan.
Okay, fine, you know
what, I'm home right now.
So why don't you just
come on by.
Perfect, perfect.
What's the...
I'll get a pen.
You need my address?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hold on, I've got one,
I've got one.
No, you don't.
No, I do.
No, you don't have a pen.
All right, Catherine,
I absolutely do have a pen.
Oh, my god.
Turn around.
- What?
- Turn around.
Green house.
You're still angry.
No, I'm not...
Honestly.
No, I can tell.
The corners of your
mouth are all pinched.
Well, are you my favorite
person in the world?
No.
But you know, I get it.
I get you, and that's it.
That's a bit severe, isn't it?
Which part?
Well, that you get me.
It's like you got the final
word on me somehow?
Well, I'm not qualified
to make a judgment?
Well yeah, but you haven't
seen me in ten years.
Exactly.
I rest my case.
So much for small talk.
That's right.
Okay, look, I've had
some problems
with immigration recently.
The only way I'm gonna be able
to stay in the country
is if I can prove
that I'm worth something
to someone who's
a citizen here.
Yeah, bureaucratic bullshit.
I see.
Combined with all my
fucking mistakes.
So, what do you need, money?
No.
I need you.
I need you and Arianwen
to both need me.
What does that mean?
If I can prove
to the authorities
that by deporting me they are
going to cause you and Arianwen,
and this is their words,
"extreme hardship,"
then they'll let me stay.
Lachlan, you've been here
ten minutes,
you haven't even
asked how she's doing?
Well, of course I'm interested.
Sorry... How's she doin'?
She's a great kid.
I'd like to see her.
Come on.
Just a meeting.
You, me, Arianwen.
We'll have a coffee, take it
from there.
I know you haven't had it easy.
Neither of us have.
But for you to come here
and ask me...
Look, Catherine, look,
you know, it ain't easy.
And it ain't easy sitting
here asking you for this.
Ari's gonna come home soon...
Good.
I don't think she's
ready for this.
I was
a selfish prick back then.
But I was also a fuck load
of a good time.
And she knew, she knew
she was signing on for a party.
She fucking knew that, man.
No way was she
signing on for a husband.
A fucking father...
Jesus Chri...
Mmm.
I hate talking about this.
Where on
Earth did you get that?
I know where you got that.
That's Paul's, isn't it?
Well, I stole
it out of his crate.
This is an original...
You know, you missed that.
So that...
Is that you around
the time you married her?
And that's Jed?
Aye.
She should have known you
were a dead-ender.
I can tell.
What happened?
Well, don't you know how
to use Wikipedia?
It's cool.
Crazy, crazy time, you know?
Especially after that
India tour.
That's when it all kicked off.
Sorry... It's Paul.
Hmm.
He's just...
been texting me nonstop.
Hmm?
You know what tonight is?
No.
It's that Brit Pop thing.
He's begging us to come.
- He knows I'm here?
- Yeah.
That's why he's hounding me.
He wants you to come.
All right...
And, uh, he wants
his Cranks record back.
Okay.
I can just say
we're not gonna go.
No, wait, wait, wait, no.
Let's go.
Seriously?
Fuck it, why not?
I could use the distraction.
Hey, Beau.
Gimme that motherfucker!
Hey, man!
How you been, man?
So glad you made it!
Yo, this is Lachlan
from The Cranks!
Oh, shit!
They brought my record back.
Hey, you guys want a drink?
Yeah, I'd love a drink.
Yeah, hello?
Lachlan.
Catherine.
I'm only doing
this because Ari's therapist
thinks it'll be good
for her, so...
Okay.
Okay, what?
A meeting: One cup
of coffee.
No promises beyond that.
Right, of course...
of course not.
Two Figs at uh, 12:00?
I'll be there.
Don't be late.
No, I won't be...
Fuck me.
Oh, man.
Beau?
Beau?
Beau, I-I'm
sorry, babe, I have to go.
You don't have
any aspirin, do you?
Yeah, just give me one second.
- Hey.
- Hey.
You were a piece
of work last night.
Yeah?
I remember nothing
after a certain point.
My head seems to remember
fucking everything.
Thanks.
My ex-wife
wants to meet me after all.
That's good news, right?
Well, she's bringing
my daughter with her.
Good.
He's actually really nice.
He's funny...
He's really funny.
Oh, he's right here.
Is that really you?
Hey.
What did you do last night?
Oh, it was a, it was
like an event,
like a tribute.
Yeah, live it up while you can.
Where was it at?
You know, I've
got absolutely no idea,
but it was a wonderful night.
A large coffee, please.
Yeah, me too, thank you.
And could you get me a mimosa?
Cheers.
So...
It's really good to see
you again, Arianwen.
Do you remember me?
I- I've seen some
photos of you and mom together.
Arianwen.
Oh, wee Arianwen.
Lachlan, you know, it's Ari.
What?
Her name.
Mom, it's cool.
No it's not, it's your name.
What's Ari?
Her name... It's Ari.
Well, that's
what everyone calls me.
Arianwen's too complicated.
Nothing wrong
with being complicated.
Well, no one can pronounce it.
Well, it's, you can, you
pronounce it exactly
the way you spell it.
No one can spell it either.
Fuck, it's a beautiful name.
A beautiful name and she
thought so too
when we chose it.
Hey, thank you.
Thank you.
So you're at high school.
Yes, ninth grade.
Ninth grade.
What's that, then?
I think that's roughly the
time I dropped out, in fact.
Yeah.
I didn't-I didn't actually
drop out.
What I mean is that...
I left one day and I
didn't go back.
Why?
To meet my brother, you see.
We went to
Manchester, in England.
We went for the weekend,
end up staying seven years.
What happened?
Everything happened.
The music scene was
buzzing and bunch of parties,
lots of drugs,
lots of drinking.
Let's just talk about now.
Let's just keep it
to the present, you know?
Yeah.
Now.
I got this form from my lawyer.
And it's a list of reasons
why a person can claim
extreme hardship
from a relative, you know.
Lines one,
two, three, and four.
You have a major medical
condition, e.g., brain tumor,
multiple sclerosis,
cerebral palsy,
for which you need your
spouse to help take care of you.
You're caring for an
elderly, chronically disabled...
- That's hilarious.
- What is this?
No, forget it, forget it.
Skip down to levels
two and three.
Much more reasonable
reasons, I guess.
Uh-uh.
I can't perjure myself...
No, I don't want you
to lie, Catherine...
...and I certainly won't
let Ari.
Well, I don't want you
to make her feel uncomfortable.
We can find language that
works for us, you know?
Look at you.
No, I won't re... I won't
create a history
that didn't happen.
We aren't creating
anything, it's just a form.
It's nothing.
Could you speak
to your mother, please?
Oh, you're
not serious, are you?
- Come on.
- Lachlan, don't.
Fuck it.
Fuck it... Thank you very
much, once again.
You're gonna leave?
I knew this
was never gonna work.
Sit down.
Come on.
Arianwen...
it was really
lovely to see you again.
Just finish your coffee.
Really lovely.
Lachlan, sit down,
you're being ridiculous.
Later.
Okay, Warren, look, if
you're pissed about yesterday,
I'd like to apologize.
Yeah, it's uh, this
new girlfriend in LA?
No, see now that's
not where I was going.
Lachlan, the first half of
you job on Saturdays
is to get
up and load the truck.
The second half of your
job is to sell the produce.
The third half of your job
is to bring the shit home
and restock it.
This new deal where
you stay in LA every weekend
and make my son do your work,
it is not acceptable.
I know, you're right.
This came for you.
It's from immigration.
I hope your shit's
in order, man.
This will be the last edition
of "Flame-Outs", my friends.
Looks like I'm gonna have
to take my show on the road.
But, as promised,
I've saved the best for last.
And what could be
better than the western world's
original tragic musician,
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
Hey, what does a rocker
like me know about Mozart?
Than the Stones
and the Sex Pistols, eh?
Listen to this.
The man had more talent in
his little pinky
than most of us
have in our entire body.
He worked to his very last
on this one
in order to
finish it before he died.
Sadly, he didn't make it.
And not only did he
come up short on his Requiem,
but his wife, Constanze,
she spent her husband's
dying days hustling
to try and get payment
from the Count
who commissioned the
Requiem in the first place.
Unfinished business.
I played this,
and it's for you.
Yes, Lachlan
here for Mister Piper.
Yes, it's Lachlan.
Listen uh, I've been thinking
about what you were saying.
It's really
time for me to go back.
No, no, that's-that's
just not gonna work out.
I want to go home.
I need to go home.
Hi, this is Beau's phone.
Leave a message.
Hey, Beau, it's Lachlan.
How you doin'?
No, I just wanted to
thank you for, oh,
that lovely hospitality you
gave me over the weekend.
That was really, really nice.
And you know, maybe, maybe
a voicemail
isn't the right
way to say this,
but I really wanted to be that
lad in your bed last night.
Fuck off.
Not Paul.
He's-he's not the man
for you.
I mean, I'm
not even saying that I am.
It's just that he's fucking
definitely not.
Another wee one, Brian.
No, I think you're
good, Lachlan.
Good, man, I'm always good.
Another wee one.
What's the matter
with you, man?
I've got money, I've got money.
My money's as good as
anybody's in that fucking bar.
How about if I pour you?
How about if I pour you, eh?
That's right.
Warren.
Hey, tucked the kids up
in bed, have you?
Yeah, hours ago.
Hey. Nice...
Nice, lovely.
So I'm here to drive
you home, my man.
I'm going fucking nowhere.
I'm listening
to music, come on.
I'm gonna listen to some music.
John Lennon.
I love John Lennon.
What'd you go and die for,
that bastard shot you.
- Thanks for coming.
- Yeah.
- Janis Joplin!
- What happened?
- Cut em off.
The Doors, Jim Morrison!
Tell you what, I'm not
gonna be running out
of subject matter, am I?
What else?
What else is on here?
Hey, let's take a,
let's take a load off.
Hey... Who the fuck says!
Come on, man, don't...
Flash of temper there, Warren?
I got out of bed in the
middle of the night
to come get you, so
let's just go.
Oh, away from your perfect
wee farmhouse, eh?
Your perfect wee kids all
dressed up
as cherries and bananas.
Don't talk bad about my family.
You talk about my family?
You want to talk about
my family?
Do you know who's
not in this jukebox?
My brother, Jed.
And do you know why?
Do you know why?
I know fucking why!
Because he died!
He died before he got a
chance to be in
a fucking American jukebox!
And it's my fault... I fucking
killed him.
I can't go home.
It's just a black night, man.
It'll-it'll feel
different in the morning.
You ready to go now?
No, I'll fucking go myself.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
All right, now I'm not asking!
And I'm not telling.
You really want to find
out what happens
if you get a second DUI?
Yeah, no, actually that
would be...
You're not driving.
Give me the fucking keys.
You're not going to do it.
Ready?
Thanks for coming to
collect me, Beau.
You didn't have to do this.
I know.
Thanks, anyway.
Well I was your one phone call.
Your two phone calls.
I was wasted.
I'm really sorry.
You need to get
your shit together.
Hey, Beau.
Oh, hi.
Sorry.
That's all right.
You're lost in music, eh?
Hey, thanks for meeting me.
I like coming down here.
The buses are a pain in
the butt, though.
How'd you get my number?
Snuck it off my mom's
phone last night.
Excellent.
And what did Catherine have
to say about that?
Nothing.
She's at work.
I had to sneak out of
school, though.
All that stuff I was talking
about stopping off school,
I mean, I don't want you
to think I was endorsing that
in any way.
Oh, yeah, I know.
I'm like first in my
class in grades.
Well, that's good.
That's really good.
I was shite in school.
Never stuck in, never
applied myself, you know?
Are you
playing somewhere today?
No, I don't, I don't
play anymore.
Oh.
So, where do you work?
On a farm.
That's weird.
Really?
No, no, it's cool, it's cool.
What are you listening to?
Oh, do you want to listen?
Yeah.
Hey, you have good taste.
So, how long have
you worked there?
Oh, at the farm, four
years now.
And before that you
lived in LA?
How come you never
came to see us?
What did your mother tell you?
That she told you to
leave us alone.
So, I did.
I guess...
if it were me...
at least I would have tried.
You know?
Yeah.
You're right.
All right.
Arianwen...
would you like
to run an errand with me?
Hello?
How ya doin', my friend?
I don't know if you
remember me,
I was here a few weeks back?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I remember.
Glad you came back.
My partner nearly tore me
a new one
when he heard you'd come by.
Apparently he was a fan
of the Jam.
Well, I have to say that it's
finally time for me
and the old battle
axe to go our separate ways.
All right.
Let's take a look.
Is this a real Les Paul?
You recognize it?
I play in a band.
Guitar?
I have a Gibson too, but
it's just a regular one.
That's unbelievable.
It's not as bad as
I thought it would be.
Let me see what I
can get for you.
You're selling it?
- Yeah.
- Why?
I don't have
any money, sweetheart.
I need some.
You know, I bet my partner's
gonna keep this one for himself.
Yeah, well I hope he takes
better care of it than I did.
So...
This is good.
Yeah.
Um...
I've got to get back before
my afternoon class starts.
My bus picks me up over there.
I'll walk with you.
Okay.
Any plans for the summer?
Not yet.
I may get a job at a coffee
shop where my friend works.
Well...
how do you fancy visiting
me in Scotland?
Are you kidding?
No, I have to go back,
unfortunately.
But hey, look...
I'd really like give
you something before I go.
Oh, wait a minute...
Now look, all you have to
do is promise
that you'll buy a
plane ticket with that.
I need to talk to my
mom about that first.
No, I'll call
her, I'll convince her.
I wouldn't be so
sure about that.
It'll be okay.
You're going back to Scotland?
Afraid so.
Because I'll do that
extreme hardship thing
with the government
if you want.
I don't mind.
Oh.
No.
Just promise me instead...
you'll come visit me.
I promise.
And hey, let's
get a cab instead.
Forget the bus.
Okay.
Here you are, bro.
I do remember you.
You do?
My first memory.
You accidentally slammed
the car door on my hand
when I was three.
I had to go to the
hospital and get stitches.
I'm so sorry, Arianwen.
It's okay.
It's something
to remember you by.
I guess.
Yeah, I'm gonna see you soon.
Go on in.
See you now.
Hey, Catherine.
I hope you're happy.
Yeah, perfectly...
Why do you ask?
She's 14 and you
hand her 600 bucks?
Yeah, well, tell you what,
why don't you
come visit me too?
So you're going back?
Yeah.
Ari's therapist still thinks
it's a good idea
that she get to know
her biological father.
She's... she's obviously
an excellent therapist,
I would say.
Catherine, you still there?
One week.
Thank you.
I want photos of
where you're living.
I'm gonna email you a list
of rules that we follow.
I know she'll stick to them.
Yes, dear.
It's you I'm not so sure about.
And just remember one thing.
She's 14.
Catherine...
I'll be a good dad.
How about you?
You doin' okay?