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Camera Store (2016)
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And alls he left was a note... A note! Know what it said? One day there is no more time. After 32 years of marriage... As if that whole time, I was holding him prisoner. It wasn't my fault. Merry Christmas, you sheeny fuck. Who you doing in Cali? What do you mean, you're off? It's Christmas fucking Eve day. So where you jetting to anyway? Carmel valley tennis range. Ooh, fancy... the views? Screw the redwoods. Flash a yard on the bar, you'll get more pussy than the ASPCA. And go for stewardesses. They always leave. Ho. Ho. Ho. Merry fucking Christmas. What the fuck are you doing here? Bringing Christmas cheer. Why don't you just fuck off? Ray, put the club down for one minute. I don't have a lot of time. Oh, right, no, busy man. Places to go. People to screw. Knock yourself out, Ray. I don't work for you anymore. Not for ten glorious years have I had to endure your shit. My shit. Yeah, what about that hot pile you plotzed outside there. It's old news. Bullshit, old news. You think people in this mall don't know? Karly Reagan runs out on me. Chris received day rump shift, leaves me short-handed. Then he gipes the night drop. And what did I say? I said he's just a kid, he's young, he'll learn. Let it go, and I let it fucking go. And I fed you product below cost. You got your money back. What about my reputation? Huh? My character. Parts of that are still fucking missing. And you know what, jerk? Even after you fucking went to lion, what did I do? I fed you serious volume. I know. Hey, Ray, man, oh fuck, you're off the charts, wow. Ray, baby, these days you're not even on the charts. Flat couple of years, yeah. Sure. Oh, so you're the salesman now. You push a product that sells itself. A five-year-old in a cheap suit could do your job. Oh, really, well, I guess this is a misprint then, huh? Karl Reagan, senior vice president of sales... Eastern seaboard. Ray, I'm senior VP of sales for the biggest film... Manufacturer in the world. You're a counter clerk. Yeah, why don't you take that wheelbarrow of your shit show... And take it on down to Yorktown. How about that? Ray, you need to listen to this. Why? Because it's about you. You blow in here at the crack of dawn to show me... The future. A prototype. Final production model. Wow. Huh... look at that. You wait ten seconds... Then you get to admire the shittiest fucking picture... Ever taken in the history of shitty fucking pictures. Look at that face. Senior vice president of sales, I don't know. You look a little worried. Why? 600,000 units. You're fucked, boyo. So there's no shot that I can move these. You ever use one of these? I hate photography. What the fuck? The biggest film manufacturer in the world... For the past 100 years trying, has never made a great camera. They think they own the market. Bullshit. Pride goeth before the fall, my friend. The market is people. You don't sell people the cameras. You invite them in to fall in love... With a process or a product. Look, Ray, I'm not you. I'm not that smart... But I know when to leave. Some nip Einstein will build a better one. It's coming, Ray. The whole world is going digital. What the fuck? You're still playing the... "Oh, I'm only here to help poor, old Ray" card. You prognosticate the future of photography, for what? To save me? Bullshit. To save yourself. Jesus Christ, Ray. I come in here bearing gifts and what do I get in return? A recap of what a shit I am... And the misery of listening to you... Twist the very virtues you used to believe in... In order to justify your paralysis. Ray, your plan to move on, the one-hour-photo thing, it's good. Well, how do you know about that? Cafritz over at Yorktown... Said you were thinking about opening a one-hour-photo booth. That fat fuck has been shaking in his boots... Ever since you've been talking about it for five years. Well, I'm in talks with Fuji right now. Mike Nakimura. What, you know him? I lit the afterburners for you. I told Nakimura you were ready to rock right after the first. In seven days. 1995... the year of Ray Lapine. But here's the catch, Ray. The slopes vet everything and everyone. They're gonna want to take a look at your books. So whatever number the valley gives you, you gotta hit it. To the fucking penny. Now, show 'em who you really are, you get a new life. Fuck up, you die in this joint, Ray. Merry Christmas. Oh, fuck. Operator you have reached the offices... Of Mike Nakimura at Fuji film north America. We are currently closed. Our holiday hours are 10 A.M. to 5 P.M. Son of a bitch. Hey, boss man, how you doing, sir? Eh. Same old Ray... different day. Here you go, Ray... The usual. Hey, let me ask you a question. When are you going to get rid of that piece of shit... That you drive? You live 45 yards away from this place... And yet every single morning, I see you driving in backwards? Merry Christmas, Ray. So what's the difference between this place and prison? The food's better in prison. I told you that already, right? Yeah, last Christmas. Hey, I got some interesting news. You interested? Christmas, man... Christmas fucking Eve, huh? I swear to you, this is my last one... my last one. How long, Tonia. How many? What, 22, 23 years? Fuck. Well, you know what, though? At least you work for your own pocket. I gotta fucking bibideaux. Doesn't even know what real work is anymore. Christmas Eve, where's he? Boca. And what's he doing? Golfing. Well, as long as he signs the checks. I swear, next year... You're gonna be your own man? I catch Nakimura today, it's a done deal. On a holiday? Nips don't take holidays. They die at their desks. And you know the beauty is the loan. I mean, the manufacturer is the lender, so there is no bank. There's no middleman. Paperwork is a mere formality. Need a couple of clean references... $25,000. You know what Nakimura tells me? Look at this. This new model... Puts out 400 prints, huh. That's per hour. The space, I gotta carry, so. You know, I'm thinking the main atrium. Heaviest traffic flow. Cash cow. The beauty of it is all that cream goes... Right in my pocket. Eh, you know, the novelty, though. What do you mean? What do you mean, novelty? I think it's worn off a little bit. I mean, those machines, you see them. Oh. Uh, you see one here? No. No? Did I miss it? I mean, in this mall, do you see one? No, I do not. No, you do not. That's because there isn't one. And I'll tell you something else. The closest one? And I've done this research myself. Two miles away. And those greedy bastards, they just raised their prices. No. No. Yes, it's novel enough, novel enough to make a fortune. But first I gotta get through next week. And Tonia, what do I hate about next week? The returns? Ugh, the returns. Buy something this week, bring it back next week... Every fucking time. You know, little junior. My husband Ralph of 22 years... And aunt Bertha just couldn't work it. She didn't like it. It was too complicated. Yamma-nah, yamma-nah... And I got to write it all up. And you, my dear, can have sympathy for my plight... But you can't have any empathy... Because no one has ever brought back a slice of pizza next week. Oh, fuck it. What do I owe you for the bun? Eh... I got to get some of that movie film. You know, the kid's coming by tonight. Just come by later, all right? All right. I will. Hey, keep your blood pressure down, will you? Yeah, uh, blood pressure. Look, the warden... aw, Jesus. Ray! Ray! I've been looking all over for you. This fell... nearly tripped and broke my leg... Over the goddamned thing. You want to put it down and try again? Ray, Ray, there's such a thing as retail operating strictures.. In this state... codes? Not to mention how it looks. What? Your store. It's an eyesore in my mall. I'm trying to run a classy joint here. Just so you know, people that use the word class... Usually do not have that which they purport to invoke. No, I got no time for your conundrums today, all right? I got an installation to supervise. Eyesore? That's what I said. Well, no, actually what you said was... "Your store," meaning mine, Ray Lapine's store... Is an eyesore in your mall. Your, in the latter sense meaning you... Felix Potemkin, mall manager. Now, that's exactly what you said, isn't it, little junior? You got no cause to demean... You know, we should straighten this out, all right? Firstly, this is not my store. Right? I'm simply the manager. I'm like the financial custodian. Like the president of a bank, for instance. Yes, or something like that, that's what I am. And secondly, this is not your mall. What you are is a bouffant jerk who walks around... In squeaky cheap shoes listening to the musak all day... And the carping of old ladies, and occasionally... You do make yourself useful when you spread that pink powder... Over puddles of puke you encounter... Before you have the janitorial staff scurry over... Like it's a fucking train wreck and actual lives... Are at stake, all right. What you are, Felix... No cause! Do not interrupt me, all right? You are a functionary. Which is one step above lackey... Which is a first cousin to flunky... Which is only a gnat's eyelash from being the chief... Counter monkey at a Kentucky fried chicken. I'm having a serious talk with Mr. b. Yeah, fine. Call him in boca. See if you can get him off the 19th tee. Excuse me, are you Ray? Half hour. We open at 9:30. Oh, no, I'm not a customer. I'm here to work. Yeah, all right, fine. I know who you are, all right. So you weren't looking where you were going... You got mud on your clothes... And now you want money from me for dry cleaning. Sir, I'm here to work with you. And what are you? Some rump man sent over by employment? Is that what, relief? Right? And you want in? I mean, you want to be here on Christmas fucking Eve day... To what, stand by the register and collect commission... While I spend 364 days... No, fuck that, 23 fucking years setting this up and now... You're going to swoop in, take money out of my pocket. Is that what money means to you, young man? Let me tell you something. You make a mistake. When you make money, you're god. I'm sorry, i... And if you want in, you have to ask. You have to have the brass clock-knockers to say... Mr. Lapine, I want in. Well, Mr. Lapine, I want in. Fuck you. But Mr. bibideaux said... Yeah, he's in Florida. No, he's here. You saw him? He's here? Well, he was at my house for dinner last night. He had dinner at your... I see. And what's your name, dog ears? Pete. And where are you on vacation from? Wharton. Of course. So last night over Beaujolais in, what, upper nyack, Mr. b... Discovered that you're a buff, you like to take pictures. So he said, "hey, why don't you go down to my store... "Work Christmas Eve day... "Make a little extra money for the holidays, right?" Is that it? No. I don't know anything about photography. He said I could learn something about business... From you. Polaroid film. Sir? Triple pack? How many boxes? Oh, no, I actually don't have a Polaroid camera. Two boxes. Very good choice, sir. Excellent film. That will be $72. Oh, you know what? Don't bother about it. Because if you're short of cash, I'll just take it out of your envelope when the checks come down this evening. Lesson number one... I sell film. Did you ever see kismet? Huh? Nah, of course, you didn't. You're far too young, aren't you? Far too young. Yep... Sean Connery and I did that show in London... 1962. Sean was there for his youthful good looks. I was there for my tenor voice. And you know what they said? The cognoscenti? Pinky Steuben is going to be a star, they said. Not Sean Connery. Pinky fucking Steuben. But, as we both know, that was not meant to be. I mean, these days Sean Connery could run me down... In his rolls Royce and he wouldn't know who I was. Unless I told him or sang for him. Which would be highly unlikely if I was lying dead... Under the wheels of his car. Ray! Top of the morning to ya, me old cocker... On this blessed Christmas Eve day? Oh, B's back from Florida. Before Christmas? Mm. Well, that don't compute. Hm. Are the checks in yet? No. Oh, well, it's a bit early, isn't it? Who the fuck am I talking to? Rump man... Pete. Pete. Well, I'm certainly glad it's not Helen. 'Cause she looks really awful. Ha, ha, ha. Pete, me old cocker. How the heck are you? I like that name. You know what? Sounds like an astronaut. Now, Pete... look, I hope you don't mind me saying this, Pete. But I have this thing. It... it's a salesman's gift. I know people. You understand what I mean? I know people. And I can tell just looking at you now... That you are going to be a giant in this business. Pete, you are going to be a captain of industry. In fact, you actually remind me of old Bibby himself. Bibby? Ah, our nickname for our beloved employer, Mr. bibideaux. There is something in the eyes, you see. There is something in the eyes. They are sharp. They are very, very sharp. Ray. Pinky. Um, I need a break, but... You're shy of funds. A mind reader... a regular Edgar Cayce, this man. Hey, Ray, you don't think that young Pete... Do you think that Pete is feeling Christian? I couldn't speak for him. Well, of course you couldn't speak for him, Ray. Of course, you couldn't speak for him. Only Pete can speak for Pete. So what say you, Pete, old chap, hm? Help out a friend? I think I've got... I've got five dollars. But that's for lunch. Maybe Ray could break it. Oh, Ray won't let you anywhere near his register. Guards it like fort Knox. I, however, may be able to help you out. But... He won't let me near it, either. Oh, he himself has said it... And it's frightening, to his credit. Oh, you gorgeous, buxom thing, you. Woman welcome, valley shoppers... To the green at green meadows mall. It's now 10:00 A.M. enjoy your shopping day. Dave? Ha-hey! You're never gonna get it. Oh, well, guess. Why can't you guess? It's just a... Penny... Wednesday. Penny Wednesday... From Grossinger's? The phone book... yeah, you're right here on page 113. Hold on a sec. You off your meds? It's nothing, Dave, just some creep smitten with my beauty. Receptionist Mr. Nakimura's office. Ah, yes, hi, good morning. Mr. Nakimura, please? You said call if I ever made it down. Well, I'm down. Receptionist may I ask who's calling? Yes, this is Ray Lapine. Just for the day. Unless I can find some place to stay. Receptionist we have your information. Oh, you have it. Excellent. I didn't call for money. I just... thought we had a love connection, that's all. Is there another time today that I could call back? Receptionist maybe try him in an hour and a half. Okay, that's fine. 90 minutes. Can we commit to that? Receptionist you'll just have to try him. Merry Christmas. Yes, merry chr... Tonight? You got a wife, don't you, Dave? You swore up and down you didn't... And I am just stupid enough. I'm not so stupid, I don't know I'm dumb, okay? Hey. Employment booth. Second level. Tell Lorraine that Ray Lapine sent you. Yeah... and why would Ray Lapine do that? Whatever it is, he's not gonna let it go. That's Ray, you see, he's like the Irish. He loves his misery. Talking of misery, are you married? No, of course you're not, of course, you're not. You're a living example of that proposition which states... Not all men are fools, some are bachelors. Ba-boom. So, you're married? Oh, five times. Yep. Five times married and five beautiful wives. Now once, on my honeymoon with Lorna. Lorna, French Canadian, god, was she hot. We were a couple. I mounted her like a stallion. This was not lovemaking in a convention sense, Pete. This was more like some sort of nature film. Hey. What's going on down there? Something new... there's always something new. Yeah. You want to get laid and I know you do... where do you go, eh? Bars? Parties? Night clubs? Wrong! Wrong. Launderettes. There are women there, Pete. I Grant you, most of them are married... But there are bona fide women there nonetheless. And did you know the incidents of venereal disease... Transmission in launderettes is low. Really? Extremely low. And I am speaking from experience here. Yeah. And you know the best thing? No pretension... no hard to get. It's just eye contact besides the industrial dryers... And two minutes later, you're doing it on top of the Maytag. And do you know how they look afterwards? How? Grateful. And why? And this is the best part... No pretension. I thought that was the best part. Nah. You're a very literal soul, aren't you. Oh! As I live and breathe, here is the man. How are you, Tony? How are things? 52 bucks, pinky. And I want it by Monday, no more bullshit. And you shall have it. Any news about the checks? They're not here yet. B-but... why not? Paramus, Pearl river, white plains. Ah, but not in Nanuet. They weren't ready yet. No. I expect they will be by tonight, yeah? Well, happy Christmas to you and yours. Monday. Drunk ass motherfucker. Who are you, Wayne Newton? Felix Potemkin, mall manager. Yeah. I have a friend. No names, at the moment, because we're just supposing... Two perfect strangers talking for an instant in eternity... Neither wanting anything from the other. Is this a long story? Perhaps I can be helpful with your employment situation. Following which you might join me for lunch... At my private table in the Macy's tea room? Are you a spaz or what? Maybe I'm that candy-colored clown, maybe not. I'll think about it. Okay. Come in. May I help you? Mr. Lapine... What are you doing? Quality control... Checking the exposure. Grain... paper quality. Well, aren't those private? Let me ask you a question. What do you think? Oh, god. Yeah, do you think she's having fun? I don't think she's a Wharton girl. Maybe Julliard. Oh yeah... Flautist. You recognize the guy in that thing? Maybe from the club? That's Dr. Lobell. He's a gynecologist. Appears he is. I don't think that's his wife. Uh, no, I don't think so. Oh-o. But that is. Mrs. Lobell... Well, hi there, Pete. What are you doing here? I'm just working for a paycheck. Young Peter and I were just discussing you. Oh? Actually I was defending you and the doctor. I was defending your choice... Of taking your business to Yorktown camera. I mean, here at bibideaux... All we can do is offer 25 years of unflagging service. Yorktown is cheaper. And certainly I don't mean that in a tawdry way. I really have to run. But let me just finish... Because I was very surprised by some of the photos... That Peter here has just come across. Interesting tidbit about our young Peter. He likes going through the photographs. Quality control, he calls it. I can't quite explain how it happened... But it seems as though we've come across some photographs... Of your husband's. Oh, i... I doubt they're my husband's. Ah, how is the good doctor, by the way? I thought you knew. What's that? They have... they found a brain tumor. Um, how long ago? About a month. They've done everything that they can, so... Mr. Lapine... I'm so sorry. These are not your husband's photos... At all, Mrs. Lobell. See, Peter, no, the last name is Lapell. I'm... I am terribly sorry. Big mistake. Please do tell your husband for me and from everyone here... I will. She didn't let me finish my sentence. Hey! I'm sorry. I'm okay, just gonna stink for a while. How... how did you fall in? Fall? I climbed in, looking for breakfast. Not for me, Dorko. Wow... look at him go. Her. And she's hungry. Vegetarian... just like her mama. Poor thing, ain't had a bite since Kingston. You want to buy her? She could use a good home. Me? Bad luck. Everybody around me always croaks. Oh. You could trade me that watch. That looks like something captain James t. Kirk... Of the USS enterprise would wear. Who gave it to you? Your girlfriend? My mother. I should get back. Oh yeah. For sure, me, too. It's freezin' out here. Would you be a gentleman and walk me the nice way around? Wait up. Hold my bunny while I put on my work uniform? Hi. Wow. Um, I think she's okay. Cool. I don't want to sell her anyways. She and me are going to Paris. She and I. She and I are going to Paris. That's what I said. Really. They tried to steal the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile? See, Jo Jo and my other brother Tommy, the fuck up? They stole the Weinermobile and were trying to get away... When the cops showed up and chased them. It's not as if you can hope to blend into traffic. Stupid, huh? Oh, it was terrible. My one brother is in prison for stealing the truck... And for running my other brother over. I'm sorry. No, I made it up. Jo Jo got shot knocking over a pink dot in L.A. Poor Mook. Didn't have a pigeon angel. You ever try and run a pigeon over? No, I have not. Oh, you're a liar, too. See everybody tries to gun them winged roaches over... But few succeed. Why? You come speeding up on some unsuspecting pigeon... Just clucking away there on the tarmac and naturally you gun it. It's your instinct to try to nail that thing... Because we're carnivores. We crave advantage over the weak, it's our way. But that pigeon... He's developed his own set of responses... And gun it as you may... That little guy always flies away at the last second. My theory? Every pigeon's got a teeny, little, invisible angel... Riding on their wings that taps 'em on the shoulder and says... "Hey, stupid, look out for the Buick!" Well, they do have eyes. Those two little holes that are in the back of their heads. Eyes? Well, they see the car coming. And at the last second fly away. I liked my answer better. Me, too. Hey, dog ears. I got it. I got it. Buy me lunch later? I got an hour. Memories, Pete... that is what we have in our hands. Of course, in the old days... The film used to come in here like a river. You okay there, buddy? I'm okay. All right, take a minute, if you need it. Maybe I ain't got a minute. Polaroid film for my granddaughter's camera. I don't know the model. Cost a heck of a lot fifteen years back. Does it like fold flat-like? Right. Yeah, XS 70. Give me... this much. But don't charge me tax. I don't pay tax. Pete, behind you in the shelf underneath there... There's a drawer there. Pete, never mind. Get out of my store. Do you want to learn something, dog ears? Watch this. What's your problem, pal? I'm a fucking customer. No, you're a fucking sub-captain come shop my store. See if I'm skimming the drawer. What's a sub-captain? Private investigator. Get the fuck out! Go. Back up, go, go, go. You stupid idiot, you come into my store with a tie clip... Shaped like handcuffs. You know how you get those? You get those after your 25 years on the police force. Don't you? Get the fuck out of my store. Your store... that's a fucking laugh. You lifers work one place long enough... You think you own the fucking joint. Yeah, yeah, well tell Eddie bibideaux... Fuck him, from Ray Lapine. He sent a wheezy, old cop to shop me? You sackless fuck! Merry Christmas. Bibideaux photographic. Did you know there is a new girl at the parrot? Very talented. And did you know this young lady has no idea... How Nelson Rockefeller died. Tonight, gentlemen, I have volunteered to demonstrate... To this poor unfortunate the exact circumstances... Under which one of America's greatest... And wealthiest men succumbed. That was the valley. And? I got the number. Is the runner coming with the checks? She didn't know. Oh... right. Like it's a state secret. Hey, Andy at the card store says that Bibby has been seen... In Pearl river, a great, gRay phantom... Floating down the narrow streets. Five grand. Five grand. That's the number. Five fucking grand? Yes, and we're gonna hit it to the penny. Oh, Christ... the company man returneth. Five bloody grand! Is that... is that a lot? A lot? That is a fucking insult, mate. Time was Christmas Eve morning... We would do five grand before noon! When giants walked the earth. Tell me, Pete, what is one percent of 5000 split two ways? It's fucking nothing, Pete! Has Ray explained to you our mission? Do you know what it is that Ray and I do here? You sell film. This discussion is immaterial. Ah-ha. Film. Film. Cameras, lenses, accessories? Never, Pete. Don't sell the cameras. Sell the little crap. That is our dictum. And if only that were the whole story. But oh, no, no, no. It's much more interesting than that. You see, Ray and I are like a couple of secret agents... Posing as salesmen. Yet only allowed to sell five grand, imagine. Grown men, commission salesmen being paid not to sell. Oh, it looks like a camera store. It feels like a camera store. When in reality... This whole fucking shop is just a tax write off for Bibby. Now do you understand the enormity of it, eh? Still, immaterial. And you're getting loud. Well, what was that saying, Ray? You know, that... that wonderful expression you once coined. The thing about life is... You know you're going to be screwed. The thing that makes it interesting is... You never know how. Ray. Pinky. I need a break. Go ahead. Last place I was staying... Was with this guy Dave, in the Poconos. All he ate was lox. Lox, lox, lox and more lox. Like they were making it illegal tomorrow or something. You okay? Yeah. Mm... no. Hey, what happened to the dress? Funny story. As it turns out, bunnies love fruitcake. Who knew? So you... You lost the job? 95 minutes flat. It happens. Yeah. Had to sell the bunny, though. To the pet store. 8 bucks. I made 'em swear they wouldn't feed her to a snake, though. Hold out your hand. Wow. What a life line. Look at that thing. Huh. What? Well, you see the way your fingers clinch right here? Money is important. Also, you're a virgin. You can tell from looking at my hand? No. From the way you were looking at me on the bus this morning. I'm sorry. Oh, don't be, I was complimented. How old are you, anyway? I'm 19. How about you? Now Pete, didn't your mother ever teach you... About asking a woman her age? Mm-mm. It's very rude. Gees, 19 and handsome as you are... And you never even tried it? I'm waiting. It was once. Yes, there it is! I knew it. It was the senior class trip to France. It was this little town. Beautiful, huh? It was on top of this hill. And below was... This valley. And it was just full of those purple flowers. Oh, lavender. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I like this story. And, well, later that night they, um... They gave us this big dinner. Mm-hm. And it had wine and everything. My god, even the kids drink over there, little rummies. Later on, my girlfriend and I went down... Oh, wait, wait, wait! Let me tell this part. Went down to those flowers. Her idea, right? Katy. So, what happened? Um... She, uh... she caught us. Who? She was one of the chaperones. Um, on the trip, it was... Who? Well, she sat us down together... And said that whatever happened that night... Was never going to happen again... Or I wouldn't be her son. Katy wouldn't even talk to me. She wouldn't even look at me... When she went down the halls. But, yeah, it went on like that till graduation... And then I never saw her again, so... Well, geez, Pete. That's sadder than a Bruce Springsteen song. Well... My mother was right. Making love is too important to waste. Know something? I feel the exact same way. I think it's like a gift two people give each other. Like Christmas presents. Come on. Pay up. I want to show you something. Are you sure we should be in here? Come on. Ta-da. That doesn't look, um... Probably shouldn't... okay. My ex-boss... she owns this place. All she ever talks about is how she lost her shirt... And the bank did this and that, and now they gotta... Fight it out in court. Do you like it? Yeah. I'm gonna stay here tonight. You wanna spy on some people? Come on. Okay... come here. You see that people right there? Oh yeah. Yeah. You see the baby? Yeah. Okay, just go with it. On the count of three you're gonna blow. One. Two. Three. I didn't mind... The way that you were looking at me on the bus this morning. In fact, I liked it. Do you like me? Yeah. I have to get back. I'm sorry. All business, aren't you, Mr. Pete? You could stay... Uh... with me... Tonight. But your mom... They're at Hilton head. Yeah? You really want me? All you have to do is say that you want me... And I'll believe you. I want you. Now you listen to me. You can lie about the little stuff... But not about what's important. And don't you be mean. I couldn't take it if you were mean. I... I have to go. No. I'm sorry. Ray... I don't like that kid. He thinks he's better than us. Joe college, fucking smart ass. Us? Yeah. Oh, hey, Bobby! Do me a favor. Get your gun out. Ray, come on. No, I'm serious. Get your gun out and shoot me. I'll stand still, it'll be quick. I'm only trying to talk to you, for Christ's sakes. If there's a god in heaven and he's merciful... You will shoot me. What's your fucking problem, Ray? You, warden. You know who your friend is, Ray? Me. And we got policies about religious decorations... In this mall. It's against the constitution or something. Not to mention the sight of baby Jesus here... Offends every friggin' towel head and sheeny... Walking in this joint. I forget things for you! And what do I get? Your rancor. And rancor is easy, Ray. Easy! Fucking coward. That was fun. My mother owned a '67 rancor. Uh... Plesko. Plesko. With a "p". There you are. Check it out, well, will you? Just make sure everything's up to snuff. They brought us their memories, Pete. And we immortalize them in silver... And gave it back for pennies on the dollar. That will be 17 dollars and 27 cents. Uh... yeah, we'll have to come back. No, you won't come back. You won't come back... And I will have to look at those pictures every day... Until I fucking puke. You won't come back... Because you never intended to pay for them. You dropped them off here to become permanent inventory... In the little part of hell that I permanently oversee. And what did I do? Hm? I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I let you look at them. Because I'm in the service business. A concept that has long since vanished... From the American retail scene. Am I right, Ray? Pinky, take it easy. So, listen to me... You fucking little wastrel. You will clear away the cobwebs... From your rotting cerebrum... Long enough to pay me the money that you owe. Or, so help me god, I will fucking top you... And leave you for the fucking dogs! No, pinky, stop! I don't want your fucking money! Go! Go! I want my check! Pearl river. Paramus. White plains. He does that to us every year! He does it to humiliate us... To show us that we're nothing but fucking plugs! Plugs, mate! Hey. Time for a little break. What do you say, huh? Thank you. It was my husband's. You sold it to him a while ago. One moment, one moment. Please, please. You're so kind. I'm honored. Uh, anyway, um... My husband said it was worth a lot. And he was right. It was worth a lot. Once. But time moves on. You know what I wish sometimes? Sometimes I wish I could just... Take the world... This whole spinning orb, in my hands and just make it stop... Just for a minute. But I can't. I can't. It's probably just as well. I mean, lord knows what would happen to the weather. Now tell me... Why exactly did you want the camera repaired? Your son did that? I'll tell you, Mr. Steuben... Pinky. Pinky. A neighbor gave him this little camera, and... He just ca... came to life. I would really like to get to meet this young champion. Aw. No, no, no. I don't see Randall just taking pictures. I see him making photographs. That, Brenda, is why I'm going to recommend this model. Will that be cash? You have beautiful handwriting. For a beautiful lady. Excuse me, um... Mr. Steuben. Excuse me a second, Brenda. Back in a moment. What the fuck are you doing? I'm selling the lady a camera for her son. It's Christmas, remember. It's going to be $3800 min. That'll put us over. Kill the sale. The fuck I will. Shh! Kill it. This is not the number. The number? I don't give a damn about... You want to know about the number? I'll tell you the number. It is half of one percent of five thousand. That's the number. Now you let me go, because she'll walk. No, pinky, just listen to me. She's going to bring it back anyway, they always do. You see the prices, I mean it's $1,800 fucking less at Yorktown. She don't want Yorktown! Shh. She wants me. She likes my handwriting. No, no, no, no. You want a piece? I'll give you a taste. Not hungry. Well, I am. I want to sell a camera today. Is there a problem, pinky? Should I come back later? No problem at all, Brenda. Just indulge us for a moment, will you? Look, I tell you what. You take the commission. You can have all the commission. All the commission. And, what's more, I will break it down over two or three days. Listen to me. Just kill it, alright? Sell her a few hundred bucks of something. We have to make the number. Fuck the number. When did you care about the number? Listen, please, Ray. Please let me sell a camera. No, no, no, no. I'm asking you. As a friend. Let me sell. Hey. I know it looks like a lot... And it's more than we meant to spend, but... Mm-hm. Pinky, um... Um... Mr. Steuben says it's what you need. Not just to take pictures but... To make photographs. Oh, nice. So, this is the young champion, is it? Nice to meet you. Nicely, nicely done, Randall. Um... Um... Ma'am, my manager has just given me a little bit of news. I liked Brenda better. Then, "ma'am." It's just... it's just a formality, um... But, pinky, we... Look... The good people at Yorktown camera... Are doing this entire package for $1,800 dollars less. You don't want my money? No, no, no... It's... it's, um... You see, even with our strict... Price matching policy... We simply, uh... Well, we simply can't match that. You understand. No, I don't. You said that... Forget what I said! Sometimes I just talk. Come on. We're going to take this camera... And get it fixed by someone else. Mr. Lapine? Customer. Sign says you do repairs? Yes. That include pro gear? Yes. You use a good local tech? Ah, I'm afraid no such animal exists. If I can't do it, then I send it down to the techs in Hackensack. What seems to be the problem? Can I give you a hand? Hey! I gotta do this right. It's a f30 with a digital back. I'm hoping to rescue the images. Four shots. Then we should probably be able to retrieve them. I cycled in fresh batteries the whole time... I was at Walter Reed. That should keep the chip hot, right? I would think so, yes. Yes, it should. Make sure the image files don't get deleted... Because they're important. I do understand, yes. It's crazy, one minute... Okay, I'm in Sarajevo, okay, in a un safe zone... And he's mugging for me, you know... Smiling for my camera. He's... he's a funny little kid, and um... The next... The round goes off like a snap in my ear. There's no blood, it just looks like he's sleeping, you know... It's just a kid, you know, it's just a kid. I'm sure it was painful. Uh... I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry, I, uh... I gotta learn to shut up, you know. It's all right. I gotta learn to shut up. Can you... can you do the work? I'm sorry. Send it to the... Do the work please! Come on, do the work, please! Save the pictures, please! Do your job! So, I want to send joyous holiday wishes... To you and yours... From all of us here at bibideaux photographic. Goodbye. God bless. Pete, give us a minute. Okay. Pinky, what is it with Ray? The boy. Losing him... tore their marriage apart. Man show 'em who you really are. You get a new life. Fuck up... And you die in this joint, Ray. We spoke earlier regarding my reference from lion. Receptionist you do realize it's a holiday? Of course, yes, I know. I'm aware that it's a holiday. But this matter cannot wait until Monday. You can imagine him. He was an asshole before. Can you think of what it was like... To live with him afterwards? But if it was Ray's store, then how did bibideaux take it? He did it the old fashioned way. He stole it. Not that I blame Alma. You couldn't blame Alma. Alma was really special, you know. So, Ray's wife left him? And then... And then remarried bibideaux? Holy shit. Alma. Shouldn't you be in boca? I was. What happened, they run out of ice? I quit. Three years ago. I'll just congratulate myself. Ah, no, I'm sorry. Good, no, that's good, I'm glad for you. Yeah. Thanks. I sure put you through a lot of trouble. Nah... you know I don't remember. It was a long time ago. These days I'm lucky I remember where I parked the car. I saw it in the lot. Ray! You kept it. Yeah, it's a fucking Christmas heirloom, of course, I kept it. Yeah. It looks like it. Watch what you say, I cleaned that up myself. Do you remember that first Christmas? We were in that little place on catalpa circle? Not so much. Oh, come on, come on... You took the Christmas tree and you planted it. Uh-huh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It grew like a weed, too. Well, you watered it night and day. I froze my ass off. It must be big now. Got cut down. No! Yeah. The county. Progress, huh? What were you doing over in that part of the neighborhood? Um... I should, uh... Good to see you though, really. Enjoy your shopping. Ray. I didn't... I didn't come here to shop. I came to see you. What for? The camera store, he's... Oh, listen. Goddammit. You know what? Tell your husband, if he's got a problem... With the way that I run things here, just have him come down... Face me man to man, not send his wife. I got an important phone call to make, all right? Ray, please, just... Just listen to me for a minute. Oh, fuck! It stopped! This old fucking watch stopped! I'm standing here bullshitting with you. It wasn't bullshit. It's closed now, Nakimura is gone, I'm... Alma, tell me... please tell me... What... what are you doing here? Did your husband send you, what? To, I don't know, soften me up so don't get pissed off... When he stuck me with another shit bonus? Is that what... I mean, my entire day. At open, I get the ghost of Christmas present. And now, at closing, the ghost of Christmas past... Comes floating in. Who showed up at open? Ah, fuckin', Karly. Reagan? Yeah, Karly Reagan, he was... Asking advice, talking about the future. Was this long blue streak of salesman bullshit... As opaque and vague as your bullshit. It wasn't bullshit. Please, just tell me you're not part of this, huh? Oh, I'm not even going to answer that question. Do me a favor, answer me this... How can you be with that miserable fuck? Because he's not you. Pull. Ray! Ray, come on, you gotta see this. Ray, would you just... Would you just once, listen to me? Ray? What the fuck, man? Nakimura and your husband? They knew this was my fucking idea! Ray, I didn't know, I came to tell you. What, that your husband's a colluding prick? And where were you all this time? Boca? Oh, that's not fair. Oh, and this is? Ray, come on, take it easy. You spineless invertebrate, you knew about this? You knew this was my idea. How many fucking times have I talked about this? How many fucking times? Mr. b. Doesn't tell me anything. I swear to god, I had no idea you were serious. Serious? Okay. Wanna talk serious? You talk to Nakimura, you want to hear serious, huh? Pinky! Pinky, you gotta get out here! I was one signature away. One kind word spoken about me and I'm in. You amateur cunt! You let this happen! I didn't let nothing happen! You said it yourself, Ray, I don't run this mall. B does! This is his work. Fuck you, you're the warden here. No! You know who your jailer is, Ray? Not me. Do I keep you here? Do I hold the keys? Do I lock you in every night? I try to talk to you. I try to work with you to make the time go easier. And you got no cause to come in everyday... And demean me like I was nothing. I ain't nothing! I didn't make you take this job, junior. Do you ever think about anybody else... But your miserable fucking self, Ray? You ever think maybe I want more? A future? It ever occur to you that this ain't the job that I want... But the job I got? You want a fucking job? You want another fucking job? How about peeing your pants? How about hate? Ray. Pinky, what the fuck? Come on, it's over. It's okay, Ray. No, it's not. It's all right, mate. Alma. No, she's not here, mate. She was. Yeah, of course, she was. No, I heard the music. She tried to warn me. Of course, she did, mate. Of course, she did. It's all right. She's a good girl. Yeah, yeah, you're right. You want a stool? Oh, bugger me! Blimey, the uh... the snowbird's returned early, eh? Pinky, the store was empty. If I was a nigger... I'd have half the inventory in my truck by now. Sorry. Lost our heads in the excitement. Put on quite a show for those Christmas shoppers, huh? That's one no one's gonna forget. Yeah, well, it's that big new machine downstairs. It's very impressive. Oh, yeah, yeah, it's a real gold mine. You're gonna need big bags to drag all that money away. Well, it's good to see you. Um, um... Did you bring some sunshine with you? Business? Oh, yeah. Picking up. Picking up. I had a four grand SLR about to go out the door today. Of course, we had to kill the sale. Aw, don't sell cameras, pinky. Sell the little junk, right? Huh? Pure markup. So, gonna hit the number? Hm? Well, that is our goal, sir. Well, shouldn't be too tough. After all, it's Christmas Eve day, you know, you would think. You would think. That store by Yorktown, they got 'em out the door. Hey, Ray. How much you steal from me, Ray? Steal. Yeah, that's right. How much? Nothing. Oh, come, Ray, nothing? You don't take a roll of film home? No. A frame? No. You don't work a little barter deal... With some of the other vendors? No. Short the register a little bit? Never. In 23 years, not even a battery, for Christ's sake? 24. But no, nothing. Why not? Because it's my store, Eddie. Why would I steal from myself? Your store. What makes you ask? Oh, nothing, curiosity, that's all. Just curious. I want 15 percent of that machine. You mean my machine? My deal? The one you put little Karly up to fuck me. Guess who got fucked? Karly, Ray. Your old accomplice. Punk cocksucker. Got walked out in front of the whole company... By two Pinkertons, holding his copy of a noncompete contract. As far as any aspect of this business goes... Karly fucking Reagan is dead and buried. Hm? Which leaves you and me. Are you negotiating with me, Ray? That machine was my idea and you know it. Oh, come on, my idea. An idea is one thing, but actually doing it, Ray... That's what matters. Why should I pay you anything? He's got a point, mate. Shut up, pinky. You should pay me, because it's right. It's right. Is it right, right? But is it right to steal from a man? I don't fucking steal. Ten percent. I'll run it. Oh, come on, Ray. You know it's automatic. A monkey could run it. I'll pay a kid minimum. Besides, it's better to have someone young... Who understands these newfangled gadgets. Okay, Ray, just sit tight here. You sell the little crap, like always. Forget about the machine. No. Did you say something, Ray? Hm? Because if you're questioning my leadership... If you want to go work somewhere else... Let me be the first to say... It's cheaper to fire you than retire you. Huh, is that it? Itching to go out on your own, Ray? Test yourself? 'Cause there's a whole wide world out there just waiting... For a man of your age and skill level to burst upon the scene. So either you want to hike the fuck out of here tonight... Or I think you owe me an apology. I'll do it, Ray. I apologize. Peter, how's everyone treating you? Great. You learning a lot? That's good. I want you to tell your mom and dad I said hi. Okay? Okay. Bon Italia. Uh, Mr. b., the Christmas checks... w-when... Down tonight, like always. Are you all right? Yeah. Woman attention holiday shoppers. We thank you for another wonderful year. And look forward to the next and many more. To you and yours, from all of us, merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, one and all! Movie film. What's that? $25,000. Wow. Um, I don't understand. Three weeks back, I sold out to Nunzio. He takes over on Monday. You... Monday. Mm-hm. But you're still gonna come around, right? Help him out? Nunzy doesn't need my help. I did my bit, Ray. I'm free. Of my store, this place, my debts, everything. And I want that for you. I want you to walk out of here. Forget bibideaux, you're better than that guy. Hold your head up and be your best and make some real money. Get free, Ray. So you want... You want to invest. Yeah. In the one-hour photo booth, and you. Me? Yeah. It took you five years to convince me... But you got me hook line and sinker. I want in. You want in. I always have. Why are you doing this? 24 years, I work across from you. Back in the day, I would watch you. You could sell anything to anybody. Because you don't sell. You give people the permission... The confidence to buy what they came in already wanting. And I think you want to do that again. And I want to back you. Don't think of it as a loan. Think of it as just a leg up, you know, a start. I'm not a charity. Charity. Oh, all right, fine, it's a loan. Business. Whatever you want to call it, Ray. Take the money. Oh, well, so business now. You have terms? Yeah, I got terms. Pay me back before you die. It's very difficult to get so involved... With something vague like that. Take the money, Ray. I feel like I wouldn't be my own boss now. It's not... Take the money, Ray. Fucking bibideaux fucked it all up... And he came all the way back from Florida just to fuck me. No, Ray. What do you know? He did. He fucked me. Bibideaux didn't fuck anything. You can't get turned down for a loan that you never applied for. You heard the way he talked to me, right? Fuck. What did he steal from me? What... what does he owe me? Cocks, I'm telling you I can't... ah fuck. I can't even finish my own sentence. I-I I can't. Take the money, Mr. Lapine. Are you addressing me? I'll tell you what, please don't. Just take the money. Just please. Hey! What about me? Huh? My sentence? Do I get to finish what I'm saying? I'll tell you what, you know, you look a little stressed... Why don't you go ahead home? I'll make sure that your check... Gets to you in the evening. No, no, I'm not. I'm not leaving. Just go and scoot, scoot. Okay, look, all day I have to shut up and listen to you. So now you listen to me... Because I'm trying to help you make sense. Take the loan, Mr. Lapine. And don't ever apologize to Mr. bibideaux. Well, anyone... For stealing your idea. Oh, you're trying to teach me something about business now. Something bigger. You know what? That reminds me. You still owe me for Polaroid film. A triple, right? Remember? Two boxes. And you know what? Here. Film's no good without a camera. Go ahead, take it all. I haven't paid for the film. Yeah, well, you've got credit here. See, with this, it's really simple. Just fold it like that. Folds flat. Put it in your pocket, take it home. Anybody ask you, tell them to talk to Ray Lapine... Because this is my store. Excuse me, Mr. Lapine. Pete? Talk to you for a minute? Remember that guy I said I knew down here? Well, Dave, that's the guy. I called him and I told him that I had plans tonight and... Everything and that we should get together another time. But he... Well, it's a long story... But he just wants to meet for one drink for Auld lang Syne. So I said he could meet me here. Is that okay? I'll see you on the bus? Okay. He's sick, Pete, honest. Do you still have Dr. Lobell's photos? Yeah. Can I see them? You know... I guess. Oh, wow. That's your girl with Dr. Lobell. That make her too low class for you? That she's been with another guy? No... well, maybe. Yeah. See, the problem with this sort of thing, though is... Is you gotta figure, does she get you? Possible that she could give you something, like real? A quandary. That is a quandary, that I will agree... But the choice you have to make, isn't it? My mother would never... Yeah, you know what? Please forgive me, but fuck your mother. I'm serious... And fuck Wharton while you're at it, would you? Bring two condoms to the party. I mean, come on. Fucking ten years from now... You'll be crushed under some bullshit corporate crap. You might as well stay here and die with pinky and me. You're young. You're... You should be out there driving fucking cars. You know that gasoline and perfume are the best aphrodisiacs on the fucking planet. Have a good time with a good girl. Take out the garbage. I gotta call the valley. Try to get our checks in. Good night. Yeah, yeah, $3,867 dollars and 86 cents. Checks on the way? Yes, of course, pinky's here. Yeah, fine, we'll wait. Right. Same to you. You know we could have. Next year, huh? Hey, fuckheads. Couldn't even make five lousy grand, you pussy-assed losers. I'll tell you what, you palsy-old piece of shit. You come in here and I'll shove that oxygen bottle... Right up your jackseat. Locked in, you fucking greasy chimp. Open this fucking gate right now! Them the checks? Give me the fucking envelope. Unlock the gate. Get in. What the fuck is going on, Ray? We're closing. Thank god for that, mate. I'm bloody exhausted. For good. I'm sorry, Ray. I didn't hear that proper. Bibby's closing down the store. Cashed out the retirement plan. Your end. Well, he can't close the store. It's not his to close. Ray, call the valley, will you? There's been a grievous error here. Pete, how much? 227 dollars... and 69 cents. This is some sort of debit history. Did you take out loans? It's a grievous error. Did you borrow against your retirement? I don't want a retirement. You see, no, no. I'm not retiring. I can't retire. I've got a shelf load of inventory I've got to unload. And... and who's going to handle the returns next week? I mean, come on. Let's... let's cut the bullshit here. They need us, Ray! You, to handle the returns and me to do the selling! No. Oh, fuck. We're not businessmen. We're not salesmen. We're not even fucking men. We're a race of fucking rabbits. It's time to close, pinky. But Ray, you had the vision. You had the smarts. You could calculate any number in your head... And you could have taken me with you. I would have followed you. And Alma would have followed you. And we'd all be together, and I would have made you rich. Fuck, it's immaterial. Immaterial? It's my life, Ray. You know what, my old friend? I should have fired you years ago. I'm sorry that I didn't. Well, if that's some sort of apology, I don't need it, mate. I know what I am. I am an utter fuck up. But why did you surrender? You know that every photograph has two sides, right? The positive, and the negative. You see that? See that guy? Remember him, 25 years ago? Me? Huh? I mean, not a bad looking guy. Pictures don't lie about that sort of thing, right? This guy, me, he was real. He was real. He was a salesman. He was a businessman. A man. And then I lost... him. And... her. And what is left, but the fucking negative? Pinky, I don't even fucking know who I am, all right? That... I don't know anything. Any more. No, fuck that! You know, I do know one thing, huh? We're fucking closing! So you'll be okay? With your check? It could probably finance a couple of those one-hour processors... No check. But I saw your envelope. Yes, but you didn't see inside the envelope. There was no check. There was a court order, though. It seems like all my funds have been frozen. Well, they can't freeze it, unless they're pressing... Criminal charges, they... Hmm. I'm... I'm sure you can get that cleared. But your check... there was no check in the envelope for you. Now usually, Christmas staff is always paid... At the end of the shift. Unless, of course, their work isn't done. Ah, he sent you to shop me. See if I was stealing or cooking the books. You see anything? You see me take anything? Um, film... a brand new camera. You gave me everything. Oh, right. Good business lesson there. And what did it cost? What did he pay you to do this? Nothing. So why? Why would a person do that sort of thing? The practice. Hm. You just never know how. Hey, junior, can we get going before I miss Santa? Give me a minute. What's wrong? What was your job in that store with those men? It doesn't matter. I got her back. Why'd you gotta go do that? Why? I wanted to believe you. Penny, forget about the camera store. You said you weren't mean. I wanted to listen to all your little lies... And try and understand them. I was willing to do all that... Because I am tired of being cold... and I liked you. And I thought you liked me. I do. You're a liar. I'm a liar? You know I saw some pictures of you today... That tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Grossinger's. The man in them, Dr. Dave Lobell. No. I know his kids. His wife. You saw? Everything. He was sick... dying. Okay, okay, let's forget it. You want to stay at my place a couple of nights, okay. That's what you think of me? It's like a gift two people give each other... Like Christmas presents. Okay. Let's go. It is freezing. Eyes in the back of my head. What? Are you coming with me or not? Stay away from me! Eh. Oh, shit. Well, that means you won't be giving me a lift home then. Thought you'd be at the parrot. No... populated by lonely, pathetic, old drunks. So this is Christmas. Uh-huh. First Christmas in god knows how many years... I have nothing better to do than actually enjoy it. Christ, it's cold, though, isn't it? But I do love the snow, you know. Makes me think I'm a kid again. Can do anything at all. Do you remember Daphne? Wife number four. Her daughter, well, my daughter, actually the only daughter... That still speaks to me, god bless her. Anyway, she and that little prick of a husband of hers... Are holding some sort of a soiree this evening. All her kids are going to be there. You should see those kids when I come. I tell you, open the door and they holler... And I'll just give 'em a little, you know, a little song... A little shuffle. And they love it. Love is too small a word, Ray. Too small a word. So I was thinking I might just stop by. Want to come? Why not? Good. You know the last bus left... So wherever we go, we're hoofing it. I've got this feeling. It's a salesman's gift. I've got this feeling that something marvelous... Is gonna happen around that corner. You know what, Ray, been so long since I've walked anywhere... I'm not sure I know the way. Don't worry, pinky? I do. |
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