- [Voiceover] Do you
think you're a good child
to your parents?
- Why do you want to be on TV?
- I don't wanna be on TV.
- Why you gotta
film me and shit?
Is this like some kinda
intervention or something?
- I didn't ask to be here.
- This outward bound shit
is a lot better than rehab.
Or sleeping with my hands
over my ass in jail.
- I'm being punished
because I have a girlfriend.
- Reality TV.
Can't say I watch it too much.
- Describe yourself
with just single words.
- Okay, let's see.
Nice, sincere,
and innocent.
Is that gonna get me on?
- Protective.
- Unpredictable.
- Really? Come on.
That's like,
like a, is there
another question?
Cause,
- Shark fuckin' just
snatched it man,
like, a flip, I
went under and like,
when I came to I had one leg.
- Are you serious?
- Nah. I mean it sounds better
than a motorcycle
accident though.
Right?
- Why do you want to be on TV?
- I got good hair.
- Fuck you.
(cellphone buzzing)
- [Voiceover] Mr. Barrett,
this is Kim France
of Globus Financial,
about your past,
- [Voiceover]
Julian, this is Brian
at Frontier Pictures, we
wanna talk Summer Camp reboot.
ASAP, give a shout.
- [Voiceover] It's me Barrett.
Money's been transferred.
Call me on this number.
- [Voiceover] How do
you feel about death?
- What?
(clicking)
(light guitar music)
(light guitar music)
(light guitar music)
- [Myrna] So, how goes
the camp, Mr. Barrett?
- [Julian] Up and running
in two weeks, Mryna.
- Good. What can I getcha?
- The usual.
- I knew that, just checking.
- Thank you, darlin'.
- [Woman] Get in the
car, get in the car!
- [Michael] I'm gonna
speak to Julian.
- [Woman] You'e not gonna
speak to Julian, Michael.
- [Michael] Yes I am.
- [Woman] About what?
- [Michael] I need to
speak to him about,
(bells jingling)
- How goes it Sheriff?
- I was thinking
of making a visit,
little bit later on today.
- How's your deputy brother?
- [Myrna] Yeah, why
didn't Michael come in?
Tell him I got some
free pie, he doesn't
have to sit out
there in the heat.
- Yes, he does.
But thank you Myrna,
I'll tell him.
- Problems with
your deputy brother?
- Nothin' I can't handle.
- [Julian] Thank you Mynra.
- [Myrna] You're welcome again,
let me get you some utensils.
- [Julian] Okay
- My dad told me that
you two never got along
when you were making
your movies up here.
- He was right.
Now you and me are in
bed together, who knew?
Kinda awkward, don'tcha think?
- I never saw any of
your movies, not one.
I don't watch horror movies.
- Why is that?
- Well, because I
think that they suck.
- Okey dokey.
Oh, I uh,
haven't really said it but
I'm sorry about your dad.
To Ray, fuck cancer.
- Look, look, the only
reason that I am even
agreeing to do this,
is because my
father gave his life
for this cum stain of a town
and while you were here
and you're off making
your movies and getting
rich and everything
all he got was a pat on
the back and a gold watch
after 50 years of service,
while cancer ate his stomach.
- There goes my appetite.
Look, it ain't
gonna happen to you.
All you gotta do is
learn to play the game.
All you gotta do.
- [Sheriff] So much
for reality TV.
- There's no such
thing as reality TV.
It's all plotted out
down to the last detail.
Unlike our reality, Donyln.
- So, tell me about these kids
you've got comin' up here,
anything I need to know about?
- They're not kids, they're
in their 20's at least
and I told ya everything.
So, you really like
playin' sheriff?
- How bad does it have
to be when you've gotta
do what you're doing just
to go back to the well?
- Hell of a question.
- Life's been a bitch
to both of us, Julian.
- I guess so, baby.
- Cheers.
- So what's that for then?
- To getting out of this town.
- Hey, Myrna, I need
some more coffee.
- [Myrna] Sure.
(gentle music)
(gentle music)
(gentle music)
(gentle music)
- Hey, it's good to finally
see you again, John.
- [John] So what's
going on, Julian?
- Flight was good?
- Well, first time I
ever flew first class
in this miserable career.
- Same old John.
Good to see you pal.
Let me show you around.
- My God.
Place hasn't changed
since the 80's.
Got Reagan stashed
here somewhere?
- Yeah he's dead but, I'm
still bangin' handsome.
- [Julian] That old cable
station owed me a favor.
- Techs laid out
three dozen cameras
in a two mile perimeter.
Pinhole cams get hooked
on to the contestants.
- Where's the crew?
- Hey pal, you're
lookin' at the crew.
- When's Rachel get in?
- Soon.
Yet the contestants oughta
be here ahead of her.
- Yeah, Julian, we gotta
talk about these contestants.
I have some pretty big concerns.
- Ah, let's wait for Rachel.
- They think they're
coming to some kinda
outward bound program, right?
- Well they are.
It's gonna build self esteem,
- Oh, Jesus, please don't
start with that bullshit.
Look, these are troubled kids.
They need real counselors.
Licensed therapists.
You got me and Rachel, so
unless I'm missin' something,
- Rachel went back to school
and became a counselor.
- And me?
Still haven't said why I'm here.
And do they know that
this is being pitched
as a reality show?
- It serves the
storyboard for Summer Camp
remake no matter what.
Hey, I'll tell 'em.
- So let me get this
straight, you plan a remake
of a film that you
have no funding for
based on a fake counseling camp
as a reality show for a
shot for shot template?
- Sounds pretty shitty
when you say it like that.
- You don't need me for this.
- Oh, come here.
Look what I found.
Check this out.
- No Julian! We're not
doing another take.
She's been in the water
for three fucking hours
she's freezing.
You're such a douchebag,
turn the fucking camera off,
turn the fucking camera off.
- So you fly me halfway
across the country
to bitch slap me with karma?
(laughing)
- That's funny.
- [Young man] Does anybody
want anything to drink?
- [Girl] Tomato juice.
- I'll go pay.
(whistling)
- Pump that gas hole.
You a top, bottom, or curious?
- Oh no, no, no.
The camp's got a tab here.
And a computer, there's
no internet out there.
- Really?
How'd you know I
was with the camp?
- Are you kiddin' me?
You're basically the only
folks under 60 round here.
- Yo, Adrienne.
So, we got shipped
off to fucking camp.
I just hope it turns out to be
a fucking camp.
Ya know what I mean?
- [Girl] Just admit, you're gay.
- You don't say shit to me
from the airport to here?
And now you fuck with me?
- Oh, am I fucking with you?
- Maybe you just wanna fuck me.
- Faggot, please.
- Say it again.
- You're so pretty, fucking
you would make me a dyke.
- [Voiceover] This is the
actual camp they used in those
summer camp movies,
that's awesome.
Think that other group is here?
- [Voiceover] Wonder
what they're like.
- [Voiceover] Can't be
anymore fucked up than us.
- [Voiceover] We'll
see about that.
- [Voiceover] That must be
their car, hope they're hot.
- There they are.
My future stars.
So, any problems at the airport?
- Had a great reach
around by the TSA.
- Is that a fact?
I'm Julian Barrett,
please tell me your name
and where you're from.
- Novak, Metcalf.
- Sarah, Wesport, Conneticut.
- Vinny, my mom's vagina.
- [Adrienne] Adrienne, all over.
- Matthew, people call me Matty,
I'm from Jackson, New Jersey.
- Good to meet you Matty.
- Katie, Pennsylvania.
- Pennsylvania.
- You got cameras
in our bathrooms?
Can you watch us takin' a dump?
- Bathrooms are camera free.
- Right.
- There's no service in
this bumblefuck town, man.
- [Julian] Let's move it.
- Just saying...
(eerie orchestral music)
(eerie orchestral music)
- Home sweet home.
Great.
- Thanks. Got any boxers?
(creepy piano music)
(breathing loudly)
(suspenseful music)
(water splashing)
- Camera's every man.
You gonna need a wider lens
if you gonna get all of this.
(coughing)
(laughing)
- Shit.
- I know you all have
a lot of questions.
So, I'll get right to
the fact of the matter.
Okay, you're all
forced to come here,
it was either this, jail, or
rehab for almost all of you.
Fortunately, you all have
parents who care about you
and though I know most of
you don't believe that,
I think by the time
this speech is over,
you're gonna be
happy you're here.
I'm Julian Barrett.
I directed and wrote a
series of horror films
in the 1980's
called Summer Camp.
Now, while you're here
to work on yourselves,
there's the opportunity
to have some fun
and win a considerable
amount of money.
- Fuck this.
I'm out.
- The winner gets
a million dollars.
- So, we're a bunch of fuck ups
and we get a shot at
a million dollars?
God bless America.
- Who knew?
Your head counselor
is Rachel Steel
from my films.
- I can't believe this,
I've never been so wet.
Rachel Fucking Steel.
- And this is the camp kitchen,
it has everything
you can think of.
- [Vinny] Pinocchio!
- It's a walk through
freezer, it's off
and the latch is broken,
stay away from it.
Follow me.
- Follow that ass anywhere.
(ominous music)
- As you know from your
agreement this is a real camp,
these are real woods with
real critters in them.
Bears are no stranger
to this place.
Big, black bears.
Okay, should there
ever be a problem,
there's a handgun in the
main desk in the boathouse.
There's ammo as well.
- You put a handgun in
the drawer and just let us
casually know it's there?
- Well you'll be glad I
did if you find yourself
being chased by a
400 pound black bear.
- Oh man, why's it always
gotta be a black thing, huh?
- Come on man.
- [Julian] That would be
funny, if that were funny.
- I'm just saying.
- Follow me.
Some cameras are still photos.
Resign yourself to the
idea that you're being
recorded all the time, okay?
- See I just don't
understand how we went
from being punished to now
we're on a reality show.
- Well, this is experimental,
it may never get picked up.
- If it doesn't get picked
up does it have anything
to do with the million bucks?
- No, the last one
standing gets it.
Last word on that.
And why do you look at a
chance to correct yourself
as being punished?
- No bro, he's just saying.
- Yo, I wanna get
caught jerkin' off,
you know like really goin' at
it, like all red in the face
and like sweatin' and shit,
so then they can't blur it out
and then all the
uptight people watch it
and they get all offended
and they start complainin'
and then they just start
trendin' me on Twitter and shit.
- How much thought
did you put into that?
- [Julian] 12 hour batteries
and everything's waterproof.
Charge overnight and
you have a backup,
keep it pinned chest
high or shoulder level,
they get everything
and what they don't get
the other three dozen will.
Okay, let's hustle up guys.
- Yo, I'm outta here, guys,
no way I'm doing this
bullshit for this kook,
I'm just sayin'.
- You know, I gotta
tell you something,
I find the phrase "just sayin''
to be a passive agressive
pussy way of trying
to get the last word.
If you want the last
word in an argument
just say, last word.
It throws the other person off,
you're sayin' I claimed
the last word, period.
That's the way to
do it with balls.
Or, you just punch
your no dick opponent
right the fuck out.
- Yep, but reality TV?
You can't TV reality,
I need rehab, okay?
And we all signed up for rehab.
- Not me.
- Okay, but rehab it's
like outward bound camp,
you can't just do a
switcheroo and throw
a million buck at ya.
- I'll let anyone throw
a million bucks at me.
- The only way out
is elimination.
If a single one of you forfeits,
you all lose the money.
Last word.
- Okay, I don't know
why you guys are here,
but I know why I'm here.
And this doesn't even
make sense to me,
I fucking hate horror movies.
- Fuck, you will not ruin my
shot at a million dollars,
asshole, last word.
- Lower your voice.
- Just sayin', who's with me?
- I will eliminate you.
- Hey, hey Novak.
- I will eliminate you!
- [Matty] Stop, relax, relax!
- [Novak] He's gonna
ruin it for all of us!
- Just relax!
- I'm not goin'
to fuckin' rehab.
- Get out.
- [Calvin] Calm
the fuck down, man.
- I'm not goin'
to fucking rehab.
- Alright, just relax.
(ominous, pulsing music)
(bugs chirping)
(coughing)
(cell phone chiming)
- What the fuck?
(whoosing)
(screaming)
- So this kid
threatens to walk off
and you don't even care?
- It's ten miles to
town, he's not a kid,
and he's walkin' nowhere.
- He's a walking lawsuit,
Julian, that's what he is.
Jesus, you haven't
learned anything.
- John, John you
starred in three films.
- Two, Julian, two.
I was signed for more,
- Where you and Rachel hacked,
impaled, and burned kids
to death and now you have an
issue with scaring children?
What's up with you pal?
- Julian, I read their
profiles on the flight here
and these people have
some serious issues,
I mean out of everyone
you tried out, why them?
John's right, messing
with their minds,
- You mess with
millions of minds, doll.
- I think that's why I got
out and I went back to school
for counseling.
- And we weren't trying
to say our work was real,
for Christ sakes,
their movies Julian,
you know that.
This is mental abuse.
And Rachel, please don't
get all high and mighty
about your new career.
Alright, we all know that
work dried up for you
after these shit films,
no offense Julian,
and you got tired
of stalkers sending
you cum-stained fan letters.
- Whoo! That's rough.
Look, look you both slummed
from one horror convention
to another signing autographs
for ten buck a pop,
not bad dude.
- And you had your
assistant hand deliver me
a pretty little note
saying I was dropped
from the second film when
I had a signed contract
for at least two more.
- I asked you to be
apart of this to make
amends for the past.
I apologize.
- Oh, you wanna pity fuck me.
- No, John, you fucked me.
And you fucked Rachel.
You had to go to
the press with your
on set safety issues.
- You had kids
getting hypothermia,
for Christ sake!
Unsafe cables in the water,
two props almost killed,
- You cost us all a
fourth film and my career
after two lawsuits drove
me to fucking bankruptcy
and the studio blacklisted
me, you son of a bitch.
- It's all in the past.
- And now you got
these messed up kids,
- They're not kids, John.
(keyboard clacking)
Are you in or not?
- Well, Julian.
I'll tell you to your face,
cause that's how a man does it,
I'm out.
I'll work conventions
until I die before I work
with you again.
Last word.
- I would tell you
to go fuck yourself
but you just did, last word.
- John!
- I'm done, Rachel.
- Are you really leaving?
John?
- What?
- Why did you come here?
- Cause I got a free
first class ticket to one
of my favorite
places in the world.
And you know what?
I'm really glad I
got to be here again.
And because I had just
the slightest hope
that just maybe,
after all these years,
things had changed a little bit.
But they haven't.
- Things have
changed, I've changed,
I am really here
to help these kids.
- What as a counselor?
Please, Rachel, I've
seen your luggage,
you got like four wardrobe
changes a day in there,
you're already primpin'
for all the cameras.
We all know why you're here.
- You know what, John?
Fuck you.
- Get out while you can, Rach.
(ominous music)
- So I know this has been
one hell of a surprise
for all of you, but Jerry's
departure will not affect you,
we made an exception.
However, if any of
you should pull that,
the money is forfeited.
- I have so many questions!
- Rachel, you were in
all three films, right?
- Yeah but check it out,
look, in the second one,
in the third,
- Well, actually, I
was killed in part two
and I had a flashback
in part three,
but you know what, let's,
let's really get to
know each other, guys,
now is a good time,
before I actually tell you
how the TV show works.
- But you were the killer?
- Not in part two, John
Hill was the killer,
he drove me insane.
Since having all that fun
in the 80's, I went back
to school and I became
a therapist and,
- [Novak] Well,
that's real smart.
(laughing)
- Guys, seriously, settle now.
You good?
And while this is an
experiment for television,
I'm really here
to help you guys,
to deal with all of those
issues that brought you here.
I wanna help you, okay?
- Now hold on, here's the
that thing I don't get.
We're all 21, over 21, how
can they force us to be here?
- They can if your parents
have you by the balls.
- Katie MacFarland,
you were caught having
sex in your parents bed,
the problem is your dad
he's a federal pro-life judge
and you aborted the result
of your sex romp rebellion?
And then posted it on Facebook?
Nice going.
- You may not be a tranny
but you got some balls.
- Fuck you.
- Christian Novak, possible
homicide involvement?
Christian.
Mom and dad high
profile realtors,
so I guess you added
to their housing slum.
Sarah Varaway, Sarah?
Sarah you brought your
girlfriend to your parents
Christmas turned
coming out party
after you both got a
drunk and made a little
merry under the Christmas tree.
In front of their very
important and I assume
very conservative friends?
And Matt Johnson.
Even when you're
bad, you're good.
- Thank you.
- Perfect score in
military test, ASVAB?
Refused to go into
the Marines even when
General Daddy
pulled some strings
to get you in as an officer.
And um,
your brother was killed
in Afghanistan 2002.
I'm sorry.
So we know Jerry is gone,
he did some bad shit,
he lost a lot of money.
Vincent Santone.
- Present.
- Videotaped your
step mother cheating
on your Wall Street father
and posted her banging
some guy on a website, I
take it you're very good
with a camera?
- Yeah, check out
revengeex-wives.com
and you tell me.
- You know, isn't this,
this is private information.
- You didn't read
the fine print?
Anything goes on the show.
Calvin Thompson,
Calvin lost your leg,
lost your girlfriend and a
shot at playing pro ball.
- Fuckin' A! What the fuck?
- Ming Lloraltevan.
Sex with two underage girls.
- Now hold on, I was
19 and they were 17.
I ain't no pedophile.
How you know this shit anyways?
- Melissa Childs.
- What the fuck, man?
- I don't, I don't have
anything on you, Melissa.
- Hey, pictures worth
a thousand words.
- And Andrienne Forez.
- Stop.
- Nervous breakdown last year,
I'm sorry, committed to
Byberry Mental Facility
after attacking,
- Shut up!
- Here you go Mr. Hill.
- Aha, did Betty make it?
- Just the way you like it.
- Nice.
You know Myrna, I don't know how
you've done it all these years,
runnin' the general store,
waitin' tables over at Penny's.
- Yeah that's why
I look like shit.
- It's good to see you again.
- You too.
- Sorry it took me
20 years to get back
but you have not aged a bit.
- Kinda like this town, huh?
You know, somewhere out
there's a motel room
with a painting of
this town as it ages
and I don't wanna see it.
- Take good care of yourself.
- Yeah, you too.
(foreboding music)
- [Voiceover] Yeah?
- Hey.
- [Voiceover] Hey,
you okay up there?
- Yeah, guess who's comin' home?
- [Voiceover] Julian changed?
- Yeah, same old asshole.
No, he hasn't changed a bit.
That's alright.
- [Voiceover] Are you
flying first class?
- No, I'm not flying first
class, but I'll see you soon.
Love you.
- [Voiceover] Love you too.
- Bye.
(choking)
(scary music)
- The premise of
the show is simple,
I mean you need to
be the only survivor.
- [Matty] And what,
exactly, does that mean?
- [Rachel] It means that
you guys are the victims
and somewhere out
there is a killer.
It's just like the
Summer Camp movies.
- [Sarah] But you
were the killer.
- [Vinny] Wait, wait, there's
a killer running around?
- [Rachel] Exactly,
you have to stay alive
and when someone is
killed they're gonna place
a black cloth on the cabin door
and that's just drama
for the TV audience,
- [Melissa] I love it.
- [Matty] How do we get killed?
- [Rachel] Well, you
could get simply touched
on the shoulder or stabbed
with a foam machete,
or shot with a paintball,
all kinds of ways,
but believe me, you'll
know it when they get you.
So, while avoiding
elimination you guys
have to get the camp
ready for it's reopening.
(all groaning)
Hey, come one guys, this
is for a million dollars.
You guys will do your
tasks and your chores
and the challenges and
you are safe when you do
the challenges, that's when
you gain your immunity.
- [Vinny] When do
we get to sleep?
- [Novak] You'll sleep
when you're dead, bitch.
- Oh shit, oh man,
this is like that show,
you know that girl
wants her watermelon
and then it like came
back and smashed her
in the face, it was
fuckin' awesome,
you guys see that?
- Never seen it.
- Oh, okay, I'm gonna show you.
Have you seen it?
Oh fuck, shit, ass.
I don't get any service.
I mean it was like the fuckin'
Kenny assassimation, man.
- Assassimation?
- Yeah,
- You said assassimation.
- I know what I said,
shit, it was like,
you know?
- Oh, yeah.
- Look, you know what?
We're gonna do a lot of
things just like that,
- I'm just excited, that's all.
- Okay, that's good I'm
glad you're excited.
But hopefully no one
loses their head.
We have lots of
challenges, guys, okay?
You pumped?
- All campers are required
to meet with Rachel Steel
for regular counseling sessions.
- They're watching us now.
- I feel like
something's missing.
- You know,
I didn't put any of my
private shit down anywhere.
- Then our folks did when
they threw us under the bus.
- I'm gonna win this thing.
- It's not about winning, Novak.
- Winning is everything,
motherfucker.
- Whoa.
Easy there, hoss.
- One million dollars is
a good start to fixing
a lot of fucked up shit
that happened in our life.
And that halfer fag
almost wrecked it for us
before we even got started.
- And you're the other half?
Asshole!
- There's a pattern
here with us.
- We still don't
know what she did.
I'm talkin' to you scream queen.
- Hey, back off.
- Okay, be the nice guy
but if you wanna win
you're eventually gonna
have to screw her, Matty.
- Alliances between
contestants are permitted
but will eventually
prove useless as there
can only be one winner.
- Thank you.
- Jerry did not wanna come here.
I think it's safe
to say that we all
feel the same way, right?
I mean, we screw up,
our punishment is
a million bucks.
It doesn't add up.
- I had a choice,
this, jail, or rehab.
Now I got a shot
at being a star.
- Gay pornstar.
Maybe.
- I'm sick and tired
of your bullshit.
- Alright, man, come on, man.
Chill out.
- What're you gonna do?
Beat me with your fake leg?
- How'd you like a fake
hand after I break off
the fist you hit with?
- Shit, we don't need a killer,
we'll just take each other out.
- What about the princess
of darkness over here?
Look at her.
- You know what I'd do to you
if I were the killer?
I'd knock you out,
tie you down.
- Nice.
- Strip you naked and try
to find that steroid-abused
nub of a dick of yours and shove
a thin, glass rod
right up your pisser.
Then, I jerk you off
with just two fingers,
cause that's all it'll take.
Once you've managed to
get just a little hard
I'd snap it.
Watch you come blood.
- [Katie] Holy shit.
- That's what they did
to the douche bag jock
in Summer Camp three.
- You're Columbine's Prom
Queen, you know that?
- I killed my brother.
It was in self defense.
You look like him, Novak.
That's why you're here right?
To fuck with my head?
- I don't know what
you're talkin' about.
- He raped me for over a year.
He forced me not to say
anything, he threatened me,
said it was because he loved me.
Until I couldn't
take it anymore.
So one night, while
he was asleep,
I went into his room and
I stabbed him repeatedly.
After everything he did to me,
my parents still sent me away.
He was their pride and joy,
with a full scholarship to
play football at college.
(eerie music)
They came to see me once.
To tell me about this camp.
They said if I came here,
then I could come home.
I won't go back to Byberry.
So let's just say I have
more of an incentive
to win this thing, Novak.
And I will.
- Yeah, throwin' it down, yeah.
- [Novak] Shut up.
- I know it was you who
fucked with my digital
photo frame.
Put pictures of me
and my brother on it.
- I didn't go anywhere
near your cabin.
- I don't know how did it,
or why, or if it's all part
of this bullshit game.
- I didn't do shit.
- Watch this guy, he
plays dirty folks,
you can't trust him.
- And the fun begins.
(thunder rumbling)
- Hello?
- What are you, blind?
- Ah! What the hell?
- I knocked and called but
you were in the shower.
- So you decided to sit in
the dark and sneak a peak?
Is your camera on?
Hope you enjoyed the show!
Seriously?
- I'm sorry, I didn't
think I would scare you.
- Well you did.
- How did you end up doing this?
- [Katie] I was told I'd be
cut off if I didn't try out.
I never thought I'd get
on, but, when I heard there
was money I didn't fight it.
- I had a choice
between two camps,
this one and one of those
"re-programming" camps
where they think they
can cure homosexuals.
- So, why are you in my cabin?
- Safety in numbers.
You wanna read these
scripts together?
- I wanna go to bed.
- Then let's take
shifts sleeping.
- How do I know
you're not the killer?
(ominous thunder rumbling)
- Hot people are
never the killers.
(soft piano music)
(thunder rumbling)
(knocking)
- [Rachel] Calvin, you okay?
- [Calvin] All day.
- Okay, yeah good.
Whoa!
(upbeat guitar music)
It started out with an ending
Though the ending
took it's time
And all the dreams
we were defending
Weren't ever really mine
Ah, Rosalita.
Let's be through
with all pretending
Guess all grapes
make bitter wine
I'm going where
the road is bending
I'll see you
somewhere down the line
Ah, Rosalita
Ah, Rosalita
- Okay, now it's time for a
little one on one challenge,
okay?
We're gonna do the American
Gladiator challenge.
We have two people,
two sticks right here,
and I'm gonna put
you out on the dock,
I put a little
yellow tape there,
so if you fall over
the yellow tape
or in the water, you're
immediately disqualified.
- I'll take Captain
Hook over here.
- I'll take Novak.
- Oh, good Adrienne, good girl.
- Well I was hoping to get a
shot at the abortion queen,
but the scream queen will do.
- Novak.
(intense orchestral music)
(whistling)
(cheering and clapping)
- [Matty] Come on, Adrienne!
- [Vinny] Alright,
get it, get it.
- [Ming] Too weak, Novak.
(all cheering)
(whistling)
(screaming)
- Novak!
- [Adrienne] No!
- Ah, fuck!
Fuck!
- [Matty] Hey, that's enough!
- Just grow a dick and balls.
- Relax, man, relax,
that's enough.
- I don't play well with others.
- Novak, you were
gonna kill her.
- Well that's what I
wanted you to think.
- Why?
- Because that's what's
expected of me, right?
- I'm the guy out
of his fucking mind.
And don't let Adrienne fool
you, she's just as much
of an act, I'm on to her.
- What're you talking about?
- Cameras are on me, right?
- Yeah, I mean,
sure, I don't know.
- None of this is real.
Movie star turned therapist,
give me a fuckin' break, lady.
Go talk to Adrienne.
- I plan to.
- When I walk of this
thing, I'm gonna be
one million dollars
richer and a star.
She flushed herself
out at the campfire.
- Flushed?
Wait, okay.
Can we start over here?
- I was told there
was gonna be another,
all I had to be was patient.
- Another what?
- Okay, this game has rules.
Part of my therapy is
following those rules,
I get it.
But if it were up to me,
I would kill everyone
at this camp.
And collect the
one million bucks.
- So, who's doing the killing?
Who's actually out there
doing these eliminations?
- I have a team.
They stay in town and
they come out here
as scheduled to prowl
around and do their thing.
- Did you give Novak or Adrienne
any inside information
just to make good TV?
- They're all pitted
against each other,
they just don't realize it yet.
I have no idea who's
gonna win this thing.
- Who put up the
million dollars?
- I'm not at liberty to say.
- Is there a million dollars?
- Your check cashed, right?
I know you cashed
it quick enough.
- So who put it up, what
network, what studio?
- Angel investors, last word.
(knocking)
- Adrienne!
- So, motorcycle accident?
- It's no accident.
Stupidity.
I wish I died instead of her.
Her parents do too.
- What was her name?
- Monica.
- So, if you win you'll
give her family the money?
- I mean, I'm not gonna
try and say like it'll make
things right, but no, it's
the right thing to do.
(cellphone buzzing)
You alright?
- I have two bars!
- On your phone?
- Yeah!
My account's terminated?
- Hold on.
- My father, asshole.
- Hang on, I didn't
cancel my service.
- That's weird.
- Yeah, it's fuckin',
Well you know I just,
- I gotta get back.
(rustling)
- Oh shit, hey!
(screaming)
Fuck!
Shit!
What're you doin'?
Get the fuck off!
Fuck you!
(suspenseful music)
- Jesus Christ!
- Close enough.
- Were you following
me or heading
to Adrienne's cabin?
- I ran around the lake.
- How do I know
you're not the killer?
- If I was, I'd
fuck you to death.
The cameras.
- I like to be watched.
(moaning)
(breathing loudly)
What's wrong?
- Faster.
Faster.
If I go any faster I'll
start a fire or strip it raw.
- Tell me not to fuck you.
- What?
- What? I thought you
liked to play this way.
You've been wanting me to
hurt you this whole time.
Tell me not to fuck you.
- Don't fuck me.
- Tell me not to fuck you.
- Get off me.
- Tell me not to come in you.
- Get off me.
- Tell me not to come in you.
- I'm serious, get
the fuck off me.
Stop!
Stop!
That's fucking gross.
- Can't get pregnant
with it there.
(laughing)
- Not the first time
it's been there.
(knocking)
Just a minute.
- Say a word about
this to anybody
and you're goin'
home in a body bag.
(knocking)
- Hey.
I knocked this time.
Is everything okay?
- I just went for a
run, I'm all grungy.
- Smells like sex in here.
- I think it's safe
to say that Calvin's
not coming back.
Where have you been, Adrienne?
- Rachel did the killings
in part two and three.
- You're barking
up the wrong tree.
- I was wondering
when you were getting
around to that.
- You scared the hell out of me.
- Ironic, ain't it?
Need some help?
- All I have to do is hang this.
See? No ghosts.
Looks like Calvin's next.
- Wouldn't it make
sense to take your stuff
if you've been eliminated?
Something's not
right here, Rachel.
- [Rachel] Listen,
I have an idea.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
What the fuck?
(car rumbling)
Oh my God.
Shut down.
(stomping)
Oh my God, oh my God.
Come on.
(knocking)
- Who is it?
Who's there?
(rattling)
(dramatic music)
- Hey!
- I called twice to see
who was at the door,
you didn't hear me?
- Rachel, how many times
have you skulked outside
someone's cabin in
our movies, huh?
One of the camera's
showed you near the office
so I guess I thought you
might wanna talk to me.
- I was taking a walk.
- Everything goin' okay?
- So, you mean to tell
me you came by tonight
just to ask me that?
- Well actually, I was over
at the Thompson boy's cabin,
he left a bunch of stuff
and I want to get it shipped
off to him.
- Oh, when did he leave?
- I had a car come for
him, I don't remember.
He's in town now.
- Did he have any parting words?
- Well, he was surprised
who the killer was.
- Have you heard from John?
- Not a word.
On that note.
I forgot to ask you
something earlier.
- What's that?
- Why did you tell
Frontier Pictures
that I wasn't suitable
to direct a remake
of Summer Camp?
- I don't know what
you're talkin',
- Something about I was too old.
That the film needed a fresh
vision, a young director.
And you were offered
executive producer,
am I right?
- Julian.
When Frontier Pictures
approached me awhile ago
to be their executive
producer, I,
- Yeah, they were gonna
put up good money,
weren't they Rachel?
- Unfortunately, a
big chunk of it was
to buy me out or off, right?
- You declined that offer.
- Maybe.
I would never let anyone take
control of that property.
- And that's not
how it happened.
- It's okay, Rachel.
Because the remake
has a green light,
it has a script, and
it has me as director,
and I'm callin'
all of the shots.
All I need is an ending.
- Oh my God.
(dramatic music)
(knocking)
- Who is it?
(thumping)
Julian!
(scary music)
- Let go of me!
Let me fucking live!
(groaning)
(splashing)
You better hope I don't float.
(laughing)
- Has anyone seen Missy?
(clattering)
- Oh shit.
Fuck.
I'll wash this shit by hand.
- Try this.
- What is that?
- It's my hoe.
- Has this been in your ass
crack all day, my friend?
- Come on man, you've got
like industrial strength
gloves there.
(laughing)
- What the hell is that?
- What?
- Yo, keep a lookout
real quick, okay?
- For what, what am I looking,
- Shut up (shushing)
- What is that?
Alright, I'll look.
- Get the fuck out.
Fuck, yes, yes!
Vinny, Vinny!
(cellphone buzzing)
- Watching you, have
sex through the other,
(humming)
This is set is bullshit,
fuck this pass.
(banging)
Fuck me.
Fuckin' shit.
Piece of shit.
(cellphone buzzing)
Oh shit!
(foreboding music)
No!
No!
Come on, man!
Fuck!
What the fuck is this?
This ain't real is it?
What the fuck?
(ominous music)
No!
Fuck!
(rattling)
Now, come on!
(cracking)
- That thing that I
found on the roof,
is a cellphone jammer.
My brother had one.
As soon as I turned it off
service came right back on.
- Why are our
accounts cancelled?
- Doesn't cancel accounts,
someone is doing that.
- Why jam our phones?
- Why did somebody
cancel our accounts?
That Jerry kid is right,
shit ain't right here.
- So either Adrienne, Ming
or both are eliminated.
- Missy girl, I thought you
were way smarter than that.
(thumping)
Is that the fuckin' freezer?
(crying)
No! No!
(screaming)
- No!
(screaming)
- No!
- You know what,
I like this book,
it gives us four different ways
to do a threesome and
somebody finally mentions
girl, girl, girl.
- 'Kay, I'm gonna
go take a shower.
We're done for the night anyway
and I am not walking ten
miles anywhere in the dark.
- Sounds good to me.
- Hey Vinny, why
don't you see if
you can find Rachel, alright?
Ask her if she has a car.
- The fuck he will.
- Hey.
- [Novak] I will not
be eliminated.
- Novak, none of
this is right, okay?
Why don't you ask Sarah
why she got a text message
from her girlfriend
saying that her parents
have no idea where she is?
Alright?
- Why don't you turn off
the cell phone jammer
and we'll do the logical thing,
we'll call home.
- [Adrienne] He did
this, you sick fuck!
- Hey, Adrienne.
- He threw that at me
when I was in the shower.
It's my brothers jersey.
- Are you fucking crazy?
I was fucking down
here you stupid bitch.
- No you're,
fucking with me!
- [Novak] That's enough of
your fucking pills,
take your fucking pills.
- [Adrienne] You're
a fucking asshole.
- Hey, why would you do
something like that, Novak?
- I would kill every
last one of you
before I get eliminated.
- [Adrienne] Fuck you.
- Oh man.
I'll tell you what, I'm
gonna try to find Rachel
and Julian, try to
figure this all out.
- Screw this shit, I'm
just gonna go to my cabin
and have a little party,
if you know what I mean.
Probably like play like
board games, jengo.
- I'm gonna stay with you, okay?
- You sure?
- Yeah.
- That's cool.
Well if you see the cabin
rockin', don't come knockin'.
Or, I mean you can
knock, I'll be there.
(knocking)
- Julian!
Hey Julian!
- Maybe we should try Rachel's.
- No.
No, Julian is in charge
here, alright my brother
always said you go to the brass.
(breathing shakily)
Holy shit!
(car engine purring)
- Did you see that?
- Yeah.
- [Adrienne] What is this place?
- It's his command center.
- Is that our camp?
- I believe so.
- You know our cell
phone don't work.
- No, no, no.
This is not a cellphone,
it's a satellite phone.
My dad used to have one.
- Do you think it'll work?
- I don't know, let me try it.
(beeping)
Yes.
- [Voiceover] Barrett?
Julian, what,
- Hey dad?
Dad, it's Matt.
(clicking)
- What happened?
- Maybe we got disconnected.
Let me try again.
(buttons beeping)
- [Voiceover] At the tone,
please record your message,
when you are finished
recording you may,
- Shit, its the
fuckin' voicemail.
Hey dad, it's Matthew,
I don't know if we got
disconnected but please,
when you have a chance,
give me a call
right away, alright?
Okay, bye.
- Can I try?
- Sure.
I just do that?
(ringing)
- [Voiceover] Hello?
- Mom?
Mommy? It's Adrienne.
- [Voiceover] My
daughter is dead.
- What's the matter?
- Hey.
What's the matter,
did it not connect?
- She said, "my
daughter's dead."
- Jesus Christ.
(screaming)
- Oh my God, is that Vinny?
Is he dead?
- Shit, we gotta
get to the girls.
Let's go.
(screaming)
- [Katie] No, no, no, no, no!
(screaming)
Please!
- Am I hard enough for you now?
- No!
Oh my God!
No!
- You're getting cut
from the show, Adrienne.
- [Matty] Adrienne!
Get back!
(screaming)
Stay back.
He's going, he's
going, he's going.
He's tough.
But those fingers had to hurt.
- [Adrienne] He's
also fucking nuts.
- [Matty] Yeah,
come on, come on.
Come on.
Hey, come on, we
gotta keep going.
Come on.
- Why is he doing this?
- He wants to win.
- What is that?
(suspenseful music)
- Stay back.
(screaming)
Shh, listen, look at me,
look at me, you're okay.
Look at me, I'm not gonna
let anything happen to you.
I'm not gonna let
anything happen to you.
Listen, I have a plan.
Listen to my plan, okay?
We're gonna wait
here til morning,
there's nobody's gonna hurt you.
There's two ways to get in here,
there's that door,
listen, listen, listen,
there's that door and
there's this door.
Nobody's in here and I'm
not gonna let anybody
get in here, you understand?
Look at me, I'm not gonna
let anything happen to you.
Do you understand?
Do you understand?
You're fine, look, look,
look, look in the window,
look in the window.
It's almost dawn, okay?
- There's a gun
in the lakehouse.
- Huh?
- There's a gun
in the lakehouse.
- Yeah, Julian said there's
a gun in the boathouse.
We'll wait here til morning.
Alright?
(water running)
(birds chirping)
(hopeful music)
Stay there, stay
there, stay there.
(clanging)
Come on, come on.
Come on.
(dramatic orchestral music)
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Let's go.
Shit!
- What, what?
- The fucking gun is gone!
(gun firing)
Get down!
Adrienne! Adrienne!
Come on we gotta go, let's move!
- [Novak] Hold the fuck still!
- [Matty] Let's go!
Ow, fuck!
Oh shit!
Adrienne.
Adrienne, no!
(gunshot firing)
- [Adrienne] You missed, fucker!
- Fuck!
- Just a little closer.
- The only way outta
here, is through me!
(Adrienne laughing)
- Fuck you, Novak!
Yeah! I got you
you motherfucker.
(gasping)
Whoo!
(clapping)
- That was brilliant.
Just brilliant.
Why, you just gave me the
greatest ending, ever.
Never has anyone
been killed that way.
- So, I did okay?
- Honey, you deserve
an academy award.
- So when I called my mom,
she said I was dead.
Do they really believe that?
- Ah baby, I'm afraid
that part of it's true.
Everybody's parents,
including yours,
paid a lot of money
to have you killed.
- So, what?
Do they get a refund
because I won?
- Oh, that would be great.
If only it were so.
(gun firing)
Fucking actors.
- [Voiceover] How do
you feel about death?
- It's cool.
As long as I'm
not the one dying.
- Uh, I have a lot of
life to live to go,
so, I don't know how I
feel about, about death.
- We all gotta die sometime.
- [Voiceover] You think
you're a good child
to your parents?
- Yeah, I do, actually.
- Am I a good child
to my parents?
Let me think about that one.
No.
- I did what I
had to to survive.
- I mean, it's more
like, you know,
is my parent a good parent to me
and that's like
the real question.
- I think I was
always a good kid,
I mean, wrong place, wrong time.
(somber music)
- Don't start thinking too much.
- Michael was never
gonna sit on this,
there's too much to lose.
We were never that close anyway.
Simple as that.
- Cool.
And you?
- I got plans.
- You know, we really
oughta look at this as a
public service.
Boy, they were bad eggs,
Donlyn, really bad eggs.
- I guess that guy
my dad turned you on
to worked out, huh?
- Yeah.
- So what did their
parents finally end up
paying for each of them.
- Like I said, two mil.
You don't count Rachel,
John, or your brother,
they're props.
Actually, your brother
was like a macguffin.
- I have no idea
what that means,
I told you, I don't
watch horror movies.
Makes you not wanna
have kids though.
Pretty expensive abortions.
- I might have to
steal that line.
Retro-abortions,
somethin' like that.
- Twenty million cash, huh?
- Yeah, who knew.
- So, after I get my cut,
you gonna make your movie
for 18 million?
- You know, you really should've
watched more horror films.
Yeah.
Then you woulda see that comin'.
(ominous music)