Cannery Row has never been
like anywhere else.
Its people are different.
When the town died off,
most failed to notice.
Some say nobody would live here
unless they had to,
but some, like The Seer,
wouldn't live anywhere else.
Of all the people on Cannery Row,
Doc is probably the best known.
He makes his living
by collecting marine animals
and selling them
to colleges and museums.
Doc has become
a pillar of the community,
and its fountain of
science and philosophy.
He had friends
he didn't even know about
and some he would never forget.
Friends like Mack and the boys.
Mack leads a small group of men
who have in common no families,
no money and no ambition -
beyond the time
to discuss matters
of interest but little importance.
The youngest and strongest
of the group is Hazel.
A childhood illness left him with a
slightly diminished mental capacity.
As a result, he had the mind of
a small boy in the body of a bull.
Hey, Mack?
What is it, Hazel?
Mack, you said you was gonna
lead us in some exercise.
You said we was out of shape.
- I said that?
- Yeah, that's right.
- I must have been drunk as hell.
- Well, come on. We're waiting.
Here we go. Come on, Mack.
Okay, Mack.
- All right, you ready?
- Yeah.
Touch your toes. Swing your hips.
Jumping Jacks.
Mack, I'm going to La Jolla for a
few days. Feed my mice, will you?
- There's beer in the refrigerator.
- Don't worry about the mice, Doc.
- We'll take care of it.
- Okay.
Doc is a hell of a guy.
Give you anything he's got.
A hell of a guy. We ought to do
something nice for him sometime.
Despite the esteem
in which he was held,
Doc was not fully content.
He'd been afflicted with
a gnawing restlessness.
A sense of something unfulfilled.
So he planned a collecting trip,
hoping to smother his unease
with activity.
At first, he turned up very little.
But by the third day,
his luck began to change.
Under the boulders of the intertidal
zone, he found eight baby octopi.
It was a little bonanza for him,
if he could keep them alive.
He dedicated himself to building an
octopus world within walls of glass,
anticipating every octopus need,
and eliminating every danger.
Doc, I got something important
to talk to you about.
- How much do you need, Mack?
- Two bucks.
Here, take it out of that.
- What about my story?
- What story?
I had a story about
why I needed two bucks.
- You don't need a story.
- The hell I don't!
I worked all night on it.
Hazel cried when I tried it on him.
You see, my aunt in Salinas...
She lost both husbands in the flood.
- I didn't know you had an aunt.
- I don't have an aunt!
That's the goddamn story!
Doc, what is the matter with you?
I got a problem, Mack.
- How am I going to light them?
- Light what?
The octopi.
Octopi are afraid of light. How can
I light them without scaring them?
- Why don't you just give up?
- Mack, octopi are fascinating.
They have emotions like ours.
They show fear, anger and excitement
by colour changes in their bodies.
I need a wide-angle binocularscope.
- What?
- Binocularscope.
Even if I do get the right light...
Doc, look at me.
It's me, Mack, your friend.
What's wrong?
You've redone this tank five times.
I'm all right, Mack. Really.
I need to do something different
for a change. Something of value.
- You ain't done nothing up to now.
- That's just the point.
A man ought to make a mark.
Every year I go to the Congress of
Marine Biologists in San Francisco.
Every year I listen to guys reciting
papers on the stuff they know.
This year,
they'll listen to me for a change.
I know these animals
as well as anybody.
I must be able to find out something
about them that's worth knowing.
I think I'll call my paper...
"Symptoms In Some Cephalopoda...
..Approximating Apoplexy."
- Afternoon. What can I get you?
- Do you know of any work here?
No, not since the canneries closed.
Aren't any of them running?
This is Cannery Row, isn't it?
And we still got cans to prove it,
but no sardines to put in them.
- They disappeared a few years ago.
- What happened to them?
We'd all like to know that.
I think they fished them all out.
Now nothing happens till Mack and
the boys from Ft. Ord come over.
Can I leave my case here
while I look around?
- Sure. I'll put it back here.
- Thanks. What if you're off shift?
- Honey, I ain't never off shift.
- Thanks.
Would you like salami with that?
- I didn't know this was your bag.
- You're welcome to anything in it.
- You've had a rotten day.
- What makes you say that?
I'm a Seer. It's my business
to know these things.
I live alone.
I listen to the waves at night.
I follow the moon and in the depths
of my solitude, I see visions.
Anyone would. Is there anything
I can help you with?
- You expect me to believe all this?
- I don't expect anything.
I don't need anything. My friends
above provide food and lodging.
After you've eaten, come for a swim.
- It'll make you feel better.
- I have to be going.
- I don't even know how to swim.
- I don't, either.
I just go in up to my chest.
- So long.
- So long.
- I'd like to speak to the manager.
- Sure. Come on in.
The oyster fork
goes next to the salad fork.
Like hell. It goes next to
the cheese knife and soup spoon.
- It's the only fork on the right.
- You know nothing.
The table is set with the fork always
on the left and never on the right.
The fork goes on the right
and I know about anything.
So there!
Excuse me, Fauna.
There's a girl here to see you.
- Did she say what she wants?
- No, just to see the manager.
OK. I don't have much time,
but send her in.
Okay, go on in.
The name's Suzy Desoto.
Sit down.
I'll be with you in a minute.
I'd like a job as a waitress.
- A waitress?
- This is the Bear Flag restaurant?
Yeah, but we don't serve
too many sandwiches in here.
- I kind of figured that.
- Sorry we couldn't help you.
- No, wait a minute.
- Yeah?
- I'd still like a job.
- As what?
You know...
..a floozy.
First, we don't call ourselves
floozies in here
and second,
have you ever done this before?
- All you have to do is lie down.
- And pretend that you like it.
Don't you have a hard luck story
to sway me?
No.
- You broke? Where are you from?
- Lots of places.
- You don't give much information.
- I don't want a government job.
I've got to know things
about the people I take on.
I've got all quality girls here.
See them pictures
on the mantelpiece?
All of them are young ladies
from The Flag that married well.
Half of them couldn't even count
when they came here.
Look at this one. That's Wisteria.
Convicted of shoplifting four times.
I taught her all the finer things
and now she is married
to the president of the Salinas
Forward and Upward Club.
Carried the tree on Arbour Day.
Now, tell me what I need to know.
Let's try again. Where are you from?
- Indiana.
- Are your folks still there?
I don't know. I went away
to work when I was about ten.
- I was making my way to the coast.
- Doing what?
The usual.
I was runner-up in the Miss America
Pageant, then I was an ice skater.
- You don't say!
- That's correct.
Judging by your hands, it looks like
you've done a little fruit picking.
I've had worse jobs,
even taxi dancing,
but I couldn't take all the creeps.
We don't get any
Eagle Scouts in here, either.
You can't worry
about your dignity in this line.
Miss Flood, I need this job.
So I get pushed around a little bit
here and there...
Just as long as I'm not being
made to feel small.
Winnie's going east next week.
Take her spot until she gets back.
J.C. Penny's is open till six. Buy
yourself a dress, fancy but cheap.
Supper's at 6:30. Beef stew, creamed
carrots. Cherry Jell-O for dessert.
Dormitory's on the third floor.
You're not going to regret this.
Oh, sure!
By the way,
what do we call ourselves?
"Girls" is good enough.
Doc plunged into his octopus studies
with total professional dedication.
He prodded them,
put chemicals in their water
and did everything he could
to get the little buggers to react.
Unfortunately, the conclusions to be
drawn from this were slow in coming.
Doc decided
a change of pace might help.
It was Wednesday night, so he knew
where Ellen Sedgewick would be.
Ultimately,
even Ellen failed to inspire him.
But Doc knew he was
on to something...
..even if he couldn't
figure out what it was.
- Hi, Joseph and Mary.
- Hi, Fauna.
Let's see now,
I need some yellow pads,
a box of pencils - no. 2 lead,
and blackberry brandy.
- You still doing that astrology?
- Yeah.
Hazel wants me to do a chart on him.
Since the stars said Jones
would marry Lana Turner,
everybody wants their chart done.
- I'll go and get the brandy.
- Take your time.
- So he's the one.
- The one what?
He leaves the stuff for The Seer.
Doc's been doing that
for nearly 15 years now.
Him and the boys
even built him a house.
And the guy still thinks
it comes from heaven?
He ain't all with it up here.
- Hell of a town you've got here.
- Yeah, it is nice, ain't it?
All set, Fauna.
- Hi, Doc.
- Hi, Fauna.
Hey, J.M. How about a couple
of cold ones back on the ice?
Doc, you know Suzy here?
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
Suzy's just starting
at the Bear Flag.
Oh, really?
I'm in here to buy beer.
Budweiser.
I knew this guy who always wanted to
order a beer milkshake at a drive-in.
He... he never did.
He was chicken.
I've got your beer, Doc.
Suzy... nice to have met you.
- So long, Doc.
- Bye, Fauna.
Nice to have met you.
Come in.
How do you do?
Oh, hello. What's that you got?
Some macaroons.
The cook at the Bear Flag made them.
Fauna told him to.
She sent you some beer, too.
That's nice.
- I wonder what she wants.
- Nothing. I think...
- What have you got them for?
- I sell their venom.
I'd never live with filthy snakes.
Snakes are cleaner than people.
Why call them filthy?
- You want to know why?
- Yeah.
- Because you ran Fauna down.
- No, I didn't.
You said she did it
to get something out of you.
That's why you call snakes filthy.
Fauna is one of my best friends.
Why don't we just have a beer
and make peace, okay?
Sit down.
I guess it's okay.
Here.
What are you doing
with these little dishes?
I'm making slides to show the
development of sea urchin embryos.
Here, take a look.
I fix one culture every half hour
and monitor it on a slide
until I have a series
to show students a sea urchin going
from egg to a complete organism.
- Why do they want to know that?
- That's the way people develop.
I have to do another culture
in two minutes.
Why don't they just study people?
And kill unborn babies
every half hour?
I don't know about all this.
It's a funny business, unborn things.
- There are funnier businesses.
- Are you talking about my business?
- You don't like my business?
- That doesn't matter.
I just think
it's a sad substitute for love.
And what have you got?
Bugs, snakes?
Look at this dump!
You haven't even got decent clothes.
When was your last hot meal?
You sit here breeding starfish.
- Sea urchins!
- And what's that a substitute for?
Wait a minute. I do what I want,
I live the way I want and I'm free.
Do you get that?
- I'm free and I do what I want.
- Who'd want to do this stuff?
- Who'd sleep with a guy for money?
- Maybe someone who needs the money.
And I heard about you writing
some highfalutin paper.
- Who told you that?
- Everybody knows it.
You know why? They know
you ain't never gonna do it.
Some of them are laughing at you.
Who's laughing at me?
I shouldn't have said that.
I'm leaving before
I stick my foot in it any more.
Wait a minute.
Who's laughing at me?
I don't know what I'm talking about.
I'm just running off at the mouth.
Fauna's going to ring my neck.
Forget about it, Doc.
- Hi, I'm Suzy Desoto.
- How are you doing, Desoto?
Why aren't you getting undressed?
- You can do it as a lead-in.
- I don't need no encouragement.
Lead-ins are for guys
who can't cut the mustard.
As long as I've got this on,
what do you think of it?
- How do I look?
- I don't know, you're dressed.
I mean the dress.
Took me over an hour to pick out.
- It's taking longer to take it off.
- What do you think?
- I have no opinion.
- Well, make one up.
I paid $12.99 for this damn dress.
$13 to look nice for guys like you.
I ain't taking it off
till you tell me how you like it.
- It's all right. I like it okay.
- Thank you.
I've got to get out of here.
Suzy?
Hey, what are you doing up?
- Thinking.
- About what?
Doc.
What about him?
I don't understand what a man
like him is doing here.
- Maybe he likes it.
- I know, but he don't need it.
He could make a good living
anywhere.
Does he ever talk about himself?
Like where he comes from?
Sometimes he mentions little things
here and there.
- I know he played baseball once.
- Baseball? Like major league?
- Yeah, I guess so.
- What's his real name?
Daniels. Ed Daniels.
- Eddie "The Blur" Daniels?
- The what?
He pitched for the
Philadelphia Athletics.
They called him "The Blur" because
his pitches were too fast to see.
How do you know about baseball?
I used to listen to baseball
all the time.
Jeez, you know... Doc was
a hell of a pitcher for a while.
Then I didn't hear about him.
- One year he won twenty games.
- Two years. '25 and '26.
- You've been holding out on me.
- Look, I'm beat!
- I've got to hit the sack.
- Is that it? What about the rest?
What rest?
He played ball, now he don't.
But why did he stop? One day he's
pitching, the next day he's gone.
- He don't say much about it.
- And nobody asks him?
I got as much interest
as the next guy in a person's past,
but on the Row,
folks don't have very good ones,
so we don't dwell on it. Okay?
It's not okay,
because everybody looks up to him.
And no one knows anything about him.
One of the reasons people live here
is they don't want to be well known.
Okay?
So he's just hiding out.
He ain't hiding. He just ain't
stepping forward for comment.
Well, if we put him
forward for comment
we could ask him and he's...
He's Eddie The Blur.
Doc's Eddie The Blur.
After an hour or so,
Doc was tired of driving.
Something more was needed
to beat his restlessness.
An element of danger, maybe.
He could find no one to fight with,
so he did the next best thing.
- What'll it be?
- A beer milkshake.
A beer milkshake?
Use vanilla ice cream
and half a bottle of beer.
Did I make it right?
You make a good one, you really do.
Thanks.
- What did you think of the kid?
- Suzy? She threw the book at me.
I don't see her working for you.
Would you make a play for her like
you do to them other dames you date?
If you made a pitch for her like
she was a lady, she might believe it.
- What good would that do?
- She might leave the Bear Flag.
She might stop congregating
with floozies.
She might take up an office job.
I could stop losing money on her.
What am I going to do with her?
Doc, you don't marry
them other dames, do you?
Once she gets her confidence up,
she'll just take a powder.
- It seems a little far-fetched.
- You don't have to make no pass.
Just be nice to her.
I'll have to think about it.
But Doc was tired of thinking.
He went to visit The Seer.
Something he'd done regularly
for years.
Some people say I'm crazy.
It's this hat.
It belonged to my mother's mule.
She said it would make me lucky.
Must be nice to have a guardian
mule. What do you think of octopi?
Moody. Very moody.
They're easily upset.
I wish you could ask them why.
You seem to have
the gift of the gab on animals.
I did once, they wouldn't tell me.
Very tight-lipped.
You seem a little confused today.
Do you want to talk about it?
I would if I knew what it was.
I do things I've always done,
but I think about them more.
I take everything I've learned and
try to make it add up to something.
Maybe you're not ready.
Maybe you need some help.
What kind of help?
There's some things
a man can't do alone.
I wouldn't think
of trying anything so big...
..without...
Without what?
Without someone
with a sponge in my corner.
What does that mean?
I'm sorry.
Forget I asked that question.
Just forget I asked that.
It's time I go watch the sunset.
I'd be a bad Seer if I didn't do it.
I even think it wouldn't go down
without me.
- Doc?
- Yeah.
I wanted to tell you about the other
night. I didn't mean most of that.
You were right.
I said it because you ran me down
for being a floozy.
It doesn't matter where the truth
comes from as long as it is true.
- Meaning I am a floozy?
- I didn't mean that!
- What, then?
- I didn't mean...
What the hell have you got on?
It's costume night.
Fauna made me Little Bo Peep.
I guess some guys think it's racy.
- Little Bo Peep?
- It was this or a nun.
I ain't gonna be no nun.
I don't believe in it.
These moral distinctions escape me.
You make distinctions,
I make a living.
- And it doesn't matter how.
- Don't lecture me, Doc.
Where have your distinctions
got you? You got a girl? No.
- I got all the women I need.
- Like that dame at your house?
Why can't you admit
you used to be a baseball player?
- Who told you that?
- I heard you pitch.
On the radio. My favourite,
Louis Delano, got a triple off you.
Because my right fielder was drunk.
I know a solid hit when I hear one.
- And that dame left early.
- She had an appointment.
- At 11pm?
- She's got a busy schedule.
And it was a lousy hit!
It did bounce off the wall.
After Beringer kicked it! Delano
couldn't hit the wall in here.
Why couldn't she rearrange
her busy schedule?
She's a woman of principle.
- Sounds like she took a powder.
- She had someone to meet.
- Who?
- Her husband.
Her husband! I may be a floozy,
but I'm no home-wrecker!
I'm sure Fauna only allows
single guys to come in here!
Louis Delano...
How could a man like that
be your hero?
I don't know. Every time I talk
to you I get more confused.
I like you just fine
when you're not around.
I'll turn this stuff off.
You probably hate it.
- Wait. I like Bob Crosby.
- How do you know Bob Crosby?
You think I don't know Bob Crosby?
I know every player in the band.
Who cares who they are? Music
is for dancing, not memorising.
So now you think I can't dance?
Put a fast song on and turn it up.
I said put a fast song on
and turn it up.
Let's see what you got, hot stu
Slow down, Doc.
You're wearing me out.
- Don't you know "Shorty George"?
- Sorry, I didn't recognise it.
- You know "Side Cars"?
- It'll come to me.
- How about a little "Pecking"?
- No sweat.
"Little Suzy Q", huh?
Can't you get any higher?
- How about "Around The Block"?
- See you there.
- So long. Going to Kansas City.
- Like hell.
- What was that?
- "Over The Rainbow".
I knew you wouldn't be able to do it
- Why didn't you tell me?
- Wouldn't have made no difference.
- Scared to try it again?
- Shaking in my boots.
And try it again they did.
It never occurred
that they were no good.
You bridged too early.
We nearly had it.
They decided to try once more.
Thanks. You're not too bad.
- You want to have dinner Saturday?
- Sure. Sounds all right.
I'll see you then.
The events of the previous night
were discussed at the Country Club.
Mack decided it was time
to throw Doc a party.
It would take 10 or 12 bucks
to throw Doc a good party.
They didn't have 12 bucks,
so Hazel asked Doc if he
needed any animals collected.
Once Doc gave them 25 cents
for every live turtle.
- Doc, do you need any turtles?
- No. I don't have any orders.
- What's Mack need money for?
- Don't make me answer no questions.
You never could lie,
could you, Hazel?
I do have an order for frogs.
I'll give you boys 5 cents a frog.
We gonna get you all the frogs
that you want.
- Up river there's tons of frogs.
- How are you gonna get there?
We'll take Joseph and Mary's truck.
Mack said he wouldn't mind.
- He's got an angle.
- I'm sure.
I think I got it, Mack.
Let's go!
Mack was right...
..Joseph and Mary didn't mind them
using the truck. He didn't know.
The frog expedition was in business.
During the time man has hunted
frogs, a pattern has developed.
A man with net poised, creeps
noiselessly towards the frog,
who sits very still and waits.
The rules of the game require the
frog to wait until the final second
when the net is descending,
then jump into the water
and wait until things blow over.
This is how it's always been done.
Frogs don't resent this.
How could they have anticipated
Mack's new method?
How could they have foreseen
the horror that followed?
It's working!
Never in frog history
had such a round-up taken place.
A few frogs got through to safety.
Most went to find a new home where
this kind of thing didn't happen.
And that was their undoing.
Hit it!
They must have collected
close to 1,000 frogs.
Their impact would soon be felt
on Cannery Row.
I never seen you in a jacket before.
You look real sharp, though.
You're gonna be a killer in that.
Nah, it's too much.
She'll probably wear a day outfit
and make me look like a fool.
I don't want her to think
I'm trying to impress her.
She's a hooker. What would I want
to impress her for?
If I was your age with your face
and shape and what I know,
there wouldn't be no man safe.
I've got the know-how,
but that's all I've got.
I'm scared, Fauna.
I ain't got the class of a duck.
What are we going to talk about?
I know nothing compared to him.
You've got a lot to talk about.
Nothing will go wrong if you don't
pretend to know something you don't.
Act like an expert all the time
and you'll fall on your ass.
If he wants to do something
nice for you, let him.
Ain't no disgrace to accept a favour.
Okay, girls, that's enough.
Come on, scram.
It's still too much. Why am I
putting myself through this?
I should wear what I normally wear.
So she thinks I'm underdressed.
- Who cares what she thinks?
- Don't look at me, Doc.
Hi, Doc. I'm all set.
Excuse me,
I've got to make a phone call.
I'll be right back.
All right.
Good evening, sir. Good to see you.
Your table is ready. This way.
Your secretary called. It's fixed.
You have a secretary now, Doc?
Just part-time.
It's good that you telephoned.
I had trouble
finding the pompano, but I got it.
I'll have your drinks sent over.
- Enjoy your dinner.
- Thank you, Sonny.
- This is really something, Doc.
- Hell, it's nothing.
Thank you.
I'm glad you came with me tonight.
Here's to both of us.
Suzy soon discovered something
for herself.
When in doubt, move slowly.
Slowness...
..it made everything regal.
The crab required an
eating technique she didn't know.
She did everything
a little behind Doc
and he wasn't aware she watched
every move he made.
- Do you like champagne?
- I love it.
I mean I will as soon as I taste it.
You know, out in the sand dunes
there are little gullies
covered with pines.
When you can, let's take some meat
and make a fire and cook dinner.
- This fire make you think of it?
- That's right.
Look, Doc, I hope you
don't mind me asking this.
Why did you get out of baseball?
I had two bad years so I quit.
But you were 21 and 10 with
three weeks left in the season.
I looked it up in the almanac.
I don't mean to be prying.
- If we're...
- I threw a bad pitch.
- One bad pitch?
- It hit a guy.
- Everybody hits a guy now and then.
- It hit him in the head.
At first I thought I'd killed him.
He was in a coma for two weeks.
He came out of it,
but he was
never the same after that.
I yelled at him,
but he never saw the ball coming.
You didn't mean to hit him.
It was an accident.
- You shouldn't have had to quit.
- My heart wasn't in it any more.
So I decided to get out.
You don't have to bury Ed Daniels.
He's not wanted by the FBI.
I'm not burying Eddie Daniels.
I hate people feeling sorry for me
because I could have been great.
And now they think I play
with sea shells for a living.
I'm sorry I brought all this up.
We were having a good time...
No. It's all right.
I meant it when I said I was
glad you came with me tonight.
Yeah?
I was planning on
a much worse time than this...
..but you screwed it up.
You know that place in the sand
dunes? Could we see it sometime?
- Whenever you want.
- On the way back?
- You'll ruin your shoes.
- I know.
- You should take them off.
- I will.
Oh, my God...
What have I gotten myself into?
The boys returned knowing
they had enough frogs
to bankroll a party
of shocking proportions.
Now they needed to convert them all
to hard cash.
You know that Doc set the price
on frogs at 20 for a buck.
Doc's gone away
and we're a little hungry.
We need some steaks for Doc's party.
What we thought was this,
we don't want you to suffer none,
so we'll make over to you
You got a five-frog profit there.
Nobody loses his shirt.
Joseph and Mary couldn't really find
anything wrong with the proposition.
Okay, you got a deal.
But I don't want no dead frogs.
You hear that?
After that, business was brisk.
Joseph and Mary knew he had
a stranglehold on the consumer.
He was pretty sure the Thrift Mart
wouldn't approve of this new system.
If the boys wanted food for frogs,
they'd pay Joseph and Mary's price.
Bitterness began to arise
as time wore on and prices went up.
Canned peaches were sky high
at eight frogs a can.
Steak shouldn't have been
more than 10 frogs/lb.
One frog, right?
- Two.
- I only got one frog!
Two.
- Play ball!
- All right, Mac!
- All right, Mac.
- Go for it, Mac.
Big one! Big hit. Come on, Mack!
- We've got an easy out.
- Come on, Mack. Hit one to me.
Come on, Mack. Keep your eye on it.
Strike one!
I'm waiting. Right here.
- Show them where you live.
- She's got a candy arm.
- Strike two!
- Mack, you're swatting high.
- We got him now.
- Take it easy, honey.
- One more. Let's go, baby.
- We're going to sleep out here.
Come on, Mack. You're more
of a man than she'll ever be.
I don't think you're
going to hit her like that.
Have you ever played baseball?
Not that I know of, but it seems
you're going about it all wrong.
We'll see.
Okay, Mack.
Big base knock.
Strike three! Adios, amigo.
I told you so.
Maybe you'd like
to try hitting off her?
If you won't believe me otherwise,
I guess I'll have to.
- How should I pitch to him?
- Pitch slow. Real slow.
Why are you pitching so slow?
To make it easy on you.
How's he going to know if my advice
is any good if you make it easy?
You asked for it.
You know, I think bringing
the hands up is the key.
Since its conception, Mack's party
idea had caught on all over the Row.
A meeting was called
at the Bear Flag to finalise plans.
They all agreed it should be
a surprise party at Doc's house,
with a theme
to lend it some class.
The boys chose
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
They had just seen the movie
and couldn't think of anything else.
The meeting would have adjourned
had not Hazel asked a question.
Did you ever do that horoscope
you said you was going to do on me?
Yeah, as a matter of fact I did,
but I don't think
you'd be interested in it.
- Why not? Is it bad?
- Well, it ain't good.
I can take it.
- No. Forget it.
- Fauna, I got a right to know.
Well, all right.
The stars say you are gonna be...
..that you are gonna be...
..President of the United States.
- I don't believe it.
- I don't want to be President.
The stars have spoken.
You just have to go to Washington.
I don't want to.
I don't know nobody there.
- I'm sorry, Hazel.
- Can't I say I won't do it?
No.
A thing like this
could ruin my whole life.
We're gonna miss you, Hazel.
As the big party approached,
Hazel became increasingly troubled.
He liked the Snow White theme,
but a future President of the United
States could not go as a dwarf.
It wasn't dignified.
The boys didn't agree on who should
be who, so they all went as trees.
I wish Hazel was here. He's such
a mug you forget he's sensitive.
I could have figured out a costume
for him if I'd have thought about it.
That's nice.
Joseph and Mary went as Dracula.
He hadn't seen Snow White,
but to him a movie was a movie.
- Somebody's coming.
- Thanks, kid.
All right, he's coming!
Surprise!
Which dwarf is that?
It's George Washington, you idiot.
- How do I look?
- Sweet, Hazel.
I couldn't have done better myself.
Okay, everybody. False alarm.
Jones, you don't look good as an oak,
I should wear that.
Fine, I wanted
to be a palm tree anyway.
Surprise!
Good to see you, Doc!
We got you all kinds of frogs,
so we decided to celebrate.
Fine. It's just the way
you guys are dressed...
Don't worry. It'll all come clear.
Let's get her going.
One... Two...
This Snow White thing is ridiculous.
I feel like a fool dressed this way.
Just trust me, will you?
I know what goes over in this town.
- Hey, Mack. They're here.
- Okay, everybody. Quiet!
Ladies and gentlemen...
I bring you the belle of the ball
for whom this party was named for.
I bring you Snow White!
This being such a happy occasion
with Doc getting his frogs,
we might as well shoot the works
and make it a real blow-out.
In case some of you don't know it,
Doc and Snow White here
are almost sweethearts.
There just don't seem to be
no stopping them.
Doc's going to San Francisco in
a couple of days for this convention.
I forget what you call it.
Anyway, we were thinking,
wouldn't it be nice if he took
the kid here to keep him company,
and show them jerks up there
what kind of material he runs with.
So, me and the boys have rented
these two the Ambassador Suite
at the Fairmont Hotel
for the whole weekend.
Ain't that a pistol?
How about it, Doc?
Go and get your girl.
Well, I don't know if Suzy would
like these people much up there.
I mean... it's...
They're very stuffy.
A lot of technical jargon.
Marine biologists...
Cephalopoda...
What do I do?
Go over and take her hand, you jerk!
Don't leave her standing there.
Fauna, forget it.
He won't go through with it.
I've been thinking it over and...
I... I accept.
The hell you do!
Suzy! Wait a second.
I'm sorry.
What can I do to make it up?
You can drop dead!
I've got to get out of here.
Come on, strike up the band.
Don't worry, everybody.
Doc will bring her back soon.
By 1am, Doc was still not back.
Everyone wondered where he was.
Then some fraternity boys dropped by
and the rest is history.
- Party!
- Come on, let's go.
Look at him. They'll let anyone
in here. What do you charge in here?
- It's a whorehouse, isn't it?
- It's a party at my friend's house.
All right, we'll settle for a party.
This place could use a little class.
Sure, we love guys with class.
Get that guy!
Take that, you little pansy!
Come on. Come on!
I've got you now. Take that!
Come on. Come back and fight!
Come and fight like a man, bookworm!
Around two o'clock the invaders were
finally driven from Doc's place.
At 2:30, only Hazel and Monterey
College's right tackle were left.
Even they were wearing down.
You can only have so much fun.
Oh, no. Doc's gonna kill us.
By 2:45, the party was over.
Nobody wondered
where Doc was any more.
- Did you do this?
- Doc, I and the boys...
- Did you do this, Mack?
- We didn't mean...
Get up!
Go ahead. I've got it coming.
You son of a bitch, Mack.
You stupid son of a bitch!
Mack...
..go wipe off your face.
What happened?
We kept going with the party.
We thought you'd be back.
It got out of hand. It don't do
no good to say I'm sorry.
It just got all screwed up.
We'll fix up in here.
We'll pay for all the damages.
No. I'll clean it up, Mack.
I know where everything goes.
We'll pay.
No, you'll worry about it,
but you won't pay for it.
There's over $300
of broken museum glass here alone.
Don't say you'll pay for it.
That'll just make you feel uneasy.
It would be 2 or 3 years before you
forgot about it and felt good again.
Then you wouldn't pay for it anyway.
We've got to do something!
Let's just forget about it.
I'm over it now.
Mack,
you know that fellow I was fighting?
- Yeah.
- He's a hell of a nice guy.
- We should have him over one night.
- I'll get right on it.
So long, Doc.
Mack, you still think
they'll want me for President?
I don't think Presidents
go to parties like this.
Despite Doc's professed forgiveness,
a black gloom settled over the Row.
Doc just holed up in his house,
biding time till the spring tide
started so he could get more octopi.
It didn't even cross his mind
to call Ellen Sedgewick.
And then there was Suzy.
Using money
she borrowed from Fauna,
she bought $27 worth of household
furnishings and building materials.
When she moved this stuff into
the Hediondo Cannery's old boiler,
everyone assumed she was
just going to store it there.
Little did they know it was going
to become her home.
At first,
no one expected her to stick it out.
But when she started working at
the Golden Poppy for tips and meals,
it was obvious she wasn't
going back to the Bear Flag.
Fauna pleaded with her to board
at the Flag, but Suzy was adamant.
You guys are looking at a fool.
I'm a reasonable man. IQ of 152.
University of Chicago.
A Masters and PhD. What do you say?
I know.
Now regard this man.
He's about to pay a call
on a girl living in a boiler.
He's got half a pound
of chocolates for her -
a damn cornball
approach if there ever was one.
And he's scared stiff.
Why? I'll tell you why.
He's afraid she won't
approve of him.
This girl who is ignorant
of everything he prides himself on.
How can she not know
how smart I am?
She thinks that table she made
is good. It's mediocre, isn't it?
Even if I manage to win her over,
there's going to be
many times I regret it.
The only thing we have in common
is that we're wrong for each other.
But if I let her go...
..I'll miss her badly.
More than I'll ever regret it.
I can't listen to you guys any more.
You don't know your ass about
romance. You don't even have an ass.
Wish me luck.
Thank you.
- Who is it?
- It's I.
Me... Something like that.
Hey, Doc.
I've got something for you.
- That's nice. Hansen Toffees.
- How did you know?
Because I'm allergic to them.
Suzy, this is a formal call.
I was hoping you might ask me in.
There ain't a lot of room in here.
What the hell. Come on in.
You got to...
Watch your tie. Yeah.
It's a little hard to see at first.
I'll put the lamp on.
This welder's gonna come and
cut me some windows in the side.
- You've done a hell of a job.
- I'm still working on it.
But I don't know how I'm gonna
get curtains up on these windows.
What would stick cloth to metal?
Duco's pretty good.
You might try that.
Suzy...
I'm sorry about
what happened at the party.
No need to be. It wasn't your fault.
I wasn't ready for what
you were offering me.
I had a good cry about it.
It's all done.
Feeling sorry for me
is a waste of time.
I don't blame you
for rubbing my nose in it now...
You told me how it was.
I was too dumb to listen.
You're a free guy with important
stuff to do. You like what you got.
- You don't need anyone to spoil it.
- That's what I said, but...
I knew it wasn't true
even when I said it.
I saw your face at that party, it
was the truth. You were embarrassed.
You didn't want
to be associated with me.
- You're not going to forgive me?
- Nothing to forgive.
I'm on my own
and it don't hurt me no more.
In fact, it probably helped me.
Okay...
- I better be going.
- Yeah, I got to get to the Poppy.
- Doc?
- Yeah.
I know about The Seer.
He was Maxie Baker,
the guy you hit, huh?
Yeah.
I looked him up.
It said he was in a mental ward.
I had him released in my care.
He'd never have made it in there.
You've got nothing to blame
yourself for. It was an accident.
He would tell you
the same thing if he could.
- It wasn't your fault. None of it.
- Well, maybe not.
But it is my responsibility.
Nothing can change that.
Not even his forgiveness.
Some debts you never can repay.
I'm sorry, Suzy.
So am I.
But you can't have everything.
Great, Suzy,
you sure set him straight.
When first condemned to it,
Hazel rejected the presidency.
But recent events
had made him reconsider.
Some sort of leadership
was obviously necessary.
He began his quest with Suzy.
Howdy, Hazel.
All I got free is coffee.
That's okay. I don't want none.
Hazel? What are you doing?
I'm helping you clean up.
- Say, what is the matter with Doc?
- How would I know?
I got to do something to help him.
He's done everything for me.
Once he was my character witness,
and I ain't even got no character.
- What do you want me for?
- Could you go and sit with him?
- No.
- But I thought you liked him.
I like him all right. If he was sick
or had a broken arm, I'd go see him.
Well... Okay.
I got to go do some thinking.
- So long, Haze.
- So long, Suzy.
- What happened, Hazel?
- I don't know, Doc.
I found him floating by the rocks.
The tide must have sucked him out.
It ain't no use, Doc. He's gone!
He's gonna be all right!
- It ain't no use, Doc.
- He's gonna be all right!
He's gone, Doc.
Oh, God.
I know it.
Goddamn, I know it.
You want me
to carry him to the sheriff's?
I want to do it myself.
So long, Maxie.
Doc, I'm sorry about
all this stuff that's happened.
It's okay.
And now, Suzy,
she won't have you unless...
- Unless what?
- Nothing.
Anything I can do, Doc?
No, Hazel. I just need some sleep.
I was up late last night.
Doc, can I ask you something
before you go to sleep?
You always give me good advice.
Sure, Hazel. What is it?
Suppose there's this guy in trouble.
He can't get out of it, but he's got
a friend that he don't know about.
- That's you?
- No. It's some other guy.
But suppose this friend knows a way
to get the guy out of trouble.
Do you think he ought to do it?
Sure. That's what friendship's for.
Even if it might hurt like hell?
Yeah, I guess so.
Doc, I remember The Seer
told me something once.
He said if you're gonna be
a true friend to somebody,
you got to be ready
to do hard stuff for them.
You got to do stuff that he might
not like you no more for doing.
You got to be ready to kill the guy
if he's in pain real bad.
You think that stuff's right, Doc?
Well, I appreciate your advice, Doc.
I'll be seeing you later.
No one knows how greatness
comes to a man.
Hazel, after fighting it,
denying it, cursing it, everything...
..finally accepted his greatness,
as he had the presidency of the U.S.
There was no longer any escape.
He knew now what he must do.
There's nothing I can do.
You have to wear this cast
for at least two months.
How can I collect specimens
with one arm?
I don't know.
How did you do this anyway?
I can't remember.
I woke up with a pain in my arm.
The last thing I remember was going
for Mack and the boys for help.
The tissue over the break's smashed.
You were hit with a club.
Excuse me, I got to go see a guy.
Eddie will help you get home.
Okay, Mack.
Thanks for bringing me over.
Hit with a club?
Hazel? Hazel?
I just came from the hospital.
Doc's got a broken arm.
- You know something about it?
- You gonna be mad at me, Mack?
- No, Hazel. I promise.
- I didn't have no choice, Mack.
Suzy wouldn't go see him unless
he was sick or had a broken arm.
I tried, but I couldn't figure out
how to get him sick.
There was no other way.
- Are you sure you ain't mad?
- Hell, no.
We don't know if it'll work, but
it's a step in the right direction.
Fauna has got to get somebody else
for the President of the U.S.
I tried, and I practised,
but I just ain't got it.
I'd mess up the whole country.
You sweet little bastard.
We'll get you off. Don't you worry.
You've done noble stuff.
Only you had the guts.
Just take it easy.
You got the ball
to the one-yard line.
Mack will carry it in for you!
- Does it hurt much?
- A little.
I wish I knew how I did it.
I feel like a damn jerk.
Excuse me, Doc.
I got to go do something.
I heard you were hurt.
Is there anything I can do?
No. It just has to stay in a cast
for a couple of months.
It shoots the hell
out of spring tides though.
I don't know what I'll do
for octopi now.
Doc...
..I'll go down to La Jolla with you.
How come?
I thought me and you
could have a nice time.
Turning over 100 pound rocks?
You just tell me what to do,
but don't make me keep asking,
or I'll get sour.
But I can't promise I can write the
paper, even after we get the octopi.
Don't make no difference to me.
As long as you ask me to go,
I won't feel cheated.
- Okay.
- I'll go tell Ella I'm leaving.
Come and get me when you're ready.
Suzy?
I love you.
Really?
Let me see your eyes.
Really.
Surprise!
Doc, before we get the party going,
we all got something to give you.
You couldn't do your paper because
you didn't have the right stuff.
On behalf of everyone
who chipped in,
it makes me happy to present you
with your new microscope.
Do you like it?
They're going to bill us.
It's beautiful, Mack.
It's really... beautiful.
It's the biggest in the catalogue.
We've already collected over $6.
I want to thank everybody.
You've all been wonderful friends.
Come on, everybody.
What are we waiting for? Let's party.
The party didn't finish till dawn.
The crew of a San Pedro tuna boat
arrived at 1am and was routed.
The police came at 2am
and stayed to join the party.
Mack used their squad car
to get more wine.
A woman called the police about
the noise and couldn't get anybody.
The tuna boat crew came back
at 3am and was warmly welcomed.
The police reported their car stolen
and found it later on the beach.
Things were finally back to normal
in Cannery Row.
Once again the world was spinning
in greased grooves.