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CB4 (1993)
Ladies and gentlemen, the most
exciting stage show you've ever seen! Appearing live! It's Doug E Fresh and the Get Fresh Crew! - # Excuse me, huggy friend - # Yes # Have you ever seen a show when fellows on a mic # Make one minute rhymes that don't come out right - # Say right that's not polite - # They never rhyme - # Am I annoying you? - # No, you're quite right # Well, tonight on this very mic you're about to hear # We swear the best song rappers on the air so, hear 'em yell scream, grovel # Also hippity no This is called the show - # Hey, yo, Doug put your valleys on - # What # Yo, Rick, I was about to But I need a shoehorn - # Why - # Because these shoes hurt my corn # Six minutes, six minutes # Six minutes Doug E Fresh, you're on Uh-uh on, uh-uh on # Uh-uh on uh-uh on # Uh-uh-uh-uh uh-uh-uh on # Oh, oh, oh, my God - # Here we go, come on - # Come on - # Here we go, come on - # Come on, yo, what's wrong with that? # I don't know, there're legs all over the top - # Oh, I forgot the date - # Man, you did it again? Oh, no # Here we go, come on Here we go, come on # Here we go, did we miss the show? - # No, no, n-n-no, we didn't - # Why - # No, no, n-n-no, we didn't - # W-W-Why - # No, we didn't - # Well, don't get us wrong # 'Scuse me, Doug E 'Scuse me, Doug E # 'Scuse me Doug E Fresh, you're on uh-uh on, on, on... Now, fellas, this is kind of the condensed rough cut, OK? It's very rough. I know you guys are pressed for time with the big show, yippee, coming up. But what I need here is your input. Shut the fuck up and start this shit! My woman's waitin' for me. - Yeah. - OK, here we go. It's rough. Don't be touchin' me, man, OK? CB4! CB4! CB4! CB4! CB4! CB4! CB4! CB4! CB4! CB4! CB4! CB4! CB4! CB4! Motherfucker! CB4 in the motherfuckin' house. Yeah. Yeah, Gusto's in the motherfuckin'house with my man, Dead Mike. We breakin'motherfuckers off 24-7. - Yo, Gusto. - Check this shit out. # Straight outta Locash A crazy motherfucker named Gusto # I fuck your wife 'cause the bitch is a big ho # I fuck your sister, I fuck your cat # I would've fucked your mom but the bitch is too fat... They were the biggest rap group in the world. They sold more records than Elvis Presley and Coretta Scott King combined. They'll forever be known as the world's most dangerous band, Cell Block 4. Yo, check this out. I'm hard-core. I had a lid on this game. I had this sewed up, man. Then I heard these motherfuckers, CB4. These motherfuckers is real, G. They show me their guns, G. What the fuck I'm supposed to do now, man? Can't dance. Shit's fucked up. But I met 'em. Gusto stepped to me. He said, "Yo, Ice. You down with CB4." I was blessed, man. If I had to choose one, I'm Gusto all the way. It's those gold teeth that... Something, I don' know. Gusto. Is that it? I saw Gusto one day. We was at a park picnic. You know, he was with his family. I didn't wanna trip, you know, cos his people was there. His pops was there. I didn't wanna trip. I just played the background and kicked it. I'll catch him, you know, at a swap meet or somethin'. Question, Flav. How does CB4 fit into the world of rap? Let me tell you somethin'. They don't fit, you know? They're kinda wack. Word up, G. Yo, man, they perpetrators, man. The whole nine. They real fuckin' fake, kid. I think It's unfair that Cell Block 4 is being picked on... At other concerts where they have rat heads, cat heads being bit off, spittin' in a cup and passing it around, gettin' it back and drinkin' it... First of all, motherfucker need to cut that long shit he got drippin'. All that shit, you know. Cut it down my size or somethin', you know. The first time I heard Sweat Of My Balls, I was naked with the first black woman I've ever made love to. Ooh, kinky. How did that make you feel? There was actually sweat on my balls. Not everyone had the insight to understand CB4's greatness. Cell Black 4? Excuse me, Cell Block 4 has polluted the airwaves of this nation for too long. Their record of incitement, lewdness, poor grammar will see them jailed, banned and with their feelings hurt. As you've probably gathered, this is notjust a movie about rap music. It's about much more. It's about this great nation of ours, and how it gives everybody a chance to make it. It's about three ghetto kids' rise from the mean streets to the sales sheets. - Excuse me. - From the world's most notorious... Fellas, what are you doing? That must hurt. Give that back! That's mine! I'm shooting... Oh, jeez! Fellas, guys, I'm sorry. That dumbhead editor! He cut in the wrong take. A thousand apologies. I am so sorry. Why did we hire this other man instead of the brother man? Because the other man is much cheaper than the brother man. Guys, what I need, what my documentary is missing is really quite simple. I need to know who Cell Block 4 really is. I want to know how you guys think, what you feel. What do you guys eat? I don't know that. Do you like sandwiches, fondue? - How do you guys sleep at night? - I'm outta here. You clown. - This motherfucker's bullshit. - What did I say? Yo, chill. I'm gonna let him hang out with me today, all right? Thanks. You're not gonna be sorry. OK, sorry. Come on, Herb, grab your stuff. Corny ass motherfucker. Again, MC, I wanna thank you for letting me hang with you today. It's gonna be fun. Look at that Jeep! Cool! I drive something sorta like that. It's a big ol' Country Squire. It was my dad's car. It's sorta like it. What MC Gusto just did was rip up a state-issued ticket which he has no plans of paying, a natural act of defiance by rappers. He's putting in a new jam for us to listen to and... Yo, White! Chill on the blow-by-blow, all right? I'm sorry. # It feels like I'm living in a zoo... I like this. Who is it? Gold, gold, gold. Another one goes gold. I got it. In Jones We Trust Productions. If you can't trust me, you can't Trustus. You can trust you're gonna be dead soon. And guess who's next? CB4. They ghost. That was great! Gusto, does the whole idea of CB4 getting together in just two days kind of fill you with high anxiety? Do you actually think a brother who was rollin' and controllin' Cell Block 4 is worried about rockin' the mic? Please! Must be one of my bitches. Hello. Hey, bitch, look in your rear-view mirror, motherfucker. Shit! What's happening? - Want me to hold the wheel? - Get close to the motherfucker. It's my first drive-by. We gotta go. Get up on 'em, man. - My fuckin' radio! - Need some new jams, bitch! Ma! Ma! Cool turn! - Only a fool would follow me up here. - Where are we going? Stop right here! - I'm crazy but I ain't no fool. - I ain't no fool. Jeez, we got all shot up. There's only one word for that kind of thing in my book. "Wild". You guys OK back there? MC, why were they shooting at us? Us? Us? They weren't shooting at us. They were shootin' at me. I could've died today. It'd have gone down as a simple-ass drive-by. - You know shit about Cell Block 4. - No. That's not true. - I know you guys are... - You got lots of tape? Good. Cos I'm gonna let you in on something. OK, fine. But keep it tight. I do the narrations. All my life I wanted to be a rapper. About four years ago... # Four or five niggaz in a mothership # Better known as a goose And we all wanna smother shit # Bent, front and back glass got tint # Tryin' to get our hands on some dollars and cents... - Turn that music down! - Come on, Pops. - I already got it on one. - Put it on negative one. Make us both happy and turn it off. I like this music. I like what it's about. I like the way it sounds. Albie, I don't understand this gangster-rap attitude you're so fascinated with. Why don't we listen to Lenny Kravitz? It's just music. You act as if I was plannin' a drive-by. I'm gonna drive by and whip your ass if you don't turn that music down. Why ain't you in school? How come you home? - It's Saturday, Pops. - So, go look at a school. Don't waste electricity on that rap mess. - But Pop! - Don't "but" me. I'll beat your ass in front of your woman. No rap in my house. In our day, they sang. That rap ain't nothin' but talkin'. It won't never last! Remember black-and-white TV? Gone! Remember eight-tracks? Gone! Betamax? Gone. - Look, Wackee Dee and Sun Shine. - Oh, no! Albertina, Alberta! Come on in here now. - Look. - Ooh, that boy sure can dance. # 'Cause I'm the wackiest, there's no question, I can dance # Dance in my pants and in your face Come on, dance with me, baby. # But I can dance I got sun, I got shine # Move back hard core 'cause I'm goin'for mine # Did I mention before that I can dance - # I'm Wackee Dee - # Wackee Dee's in the house - # Wack-Wackee Dee - # Wackee Dee's in the house # Wackee Dee's in the house - # Let's rock and roll - # Wackee Dee's in the house - # I'm Wackee Dee - # Wackee Dee's in the house... As you can see, my loved ones really respected my musical taste. Was Stab Master Arson also middle class? Well, Otis came from a different environment altogether. Come on in, Albert. We're just finishing dinner. I knew I should've came earlier. How are you? - OK. - Look, it's Albert! Hi, Albert! What's up, Tashana, Tawana, Tamika, Talona and Tee Tee? Hi, Albert. - What's up, O? - What up, bro? - How long is Otis gonna be out? - 'Bout 11.00. - He gotta help me with my homework. - And relax my hair. - And play me in Nintendo. - And sew me a new dress. - And program my computer. - Check this out. Get outta here. We got stuff to do. - Bye, Mom. - Bye, Otis! Leave my sisters alone. Otis, you are the man of the house. I gotta be, with all those sisters. Don't worry. Tonight we're gonna have crazy fun! Let's pick up Rip. Rip is sick. - You see the new En Vogue video? - Cindy is fine! Cindy's fine but she's not the one. Teri's the one. - Then Cindy's the other one, man. - She got them eyes! I wanna suck her like a neck bone. I wanna suck this like a neck bone. Correction. I wanna suck her like a smoked neck bone. Euripides Smalls was Dead Mike's real name. Rip came from a broken home which meant he hustled for every dollar he made. Ooh, a hustler. A job's a job, a cheque's a cheque. OK, call again. Thank you. Hello, 976-FART. You fart, we smell it. I feel so slippery. 976-SEXY - Yo, I wanna... - Man, let's get out of here. Here it comes. Ooh, yeah! Here it comes. Yeah, give it to me, baby. Come on, give it all to me, baby. - Yeah, babyl - Yeah, baby. Here it comes. Fuck you! Kiss my ass, motherfucker. Kiss my fuckin' ass. Thank you. Call again. Excuse me. Could you tell me where I might find Euripides Smalls? - Right down there. - Thanks a lot. 976-DISS. You're so soft and tender. I love it when you call. It's lovely. All right, till tomorrow. - What's up, kid? - You almost ready? Yo, this job is nasty! Yeah, I'm lickin' your balls. Best balls I ever had. You got King Kong balls. Your balls is so large... Just big balls, I don't care. Peace! I hate this job. This ain't no job for no black man! Yo, let's go down to Gusto's, all right? We got some problems to lick. If you ask me, George Jefferson was a sell-out. He thought success was livin' in a white man's buildin' and disrespectin' his African-American employees. No, you don't understand. The cool thing about George Jefferson was he hated every white person he met, unless they had a cheque for him. Tom Willis come over, the door slammed in his face. But soon as somebody had a cheque for him, "Hey, Weezie, fix him up a plate." - Ain't I right, Otis? - Yeah, right and tight. That's a real role model to me. - Do you got the tape? - Yeah, but I'm Run. - I'm DMC. - Why can't I be DMC? - Cos you Jam Master Jay. - I'm always Jam Master. Me and you will do DMC together, is that all right with you? - All right. - Cool. # I'm the king of rock There is none higher # Sucker MCs should call me sire # To float in my kingdom you must use fire # I won't stop rockin' till I retire # Now we rocked all 20 and come correct # All cuts are on time and rhymes connect # Got the right to vote and we'll elect # And other rappers can't stand us but give us respect - # They call us hip - # We're gettin' 'nilla - # They don't - # Want chilla # It's not Michael Jackson and this is not Thriller # You can't touch me with a ten-foot pole # And I even make the devil sell me his soul, soul, soul... - Fix that tape, man! - I'm sorry. We was jamming, man. - We was jamming! - Damn! Now, we were already a rap group, but we had no direction. - Every week we'd go down to Gusto's... - No. Excuse me. Now you've got me completely scrambled up here. I thought you were Gusto. Chill. You'll understand everything in a minute. Every week we go to Gusto's and check out open mic nights. It was all right. First we were the Mad Bohemians. # We're The Bohemians and you gotta put us on # We're The Bohemians... Then we did a thing called The Bag Heads. # The Bag Head, The Bag Heads The Bag Heads... Then we did a thing called The Overweight Lovers. # We're fat, we're fat We're fat, we're fat... You know, I look back at that time as sort of paying dues. We met people at Gusto's who would forever change our lives. Brothers, my name is Baa Baa Ack. I carry the message to the black man with me wherever I go. I got my message right here, black man. We don't need that back-to-Egypt shit. But between these pages lies the key to the salvation of the race. Me myself, I am building a boat to carry the sun people back to Africa. If you get with the programme, you can get on the boat. You should stop by for additional spiritual instruction. Thanks, brother. I'll do that, man. My proud black warrior, the book costs $14.95 plus sales tax. Come on, brother! How come this black power shit costs so much money? The revolution must be marketed. You're wastin' good money. I'm investing in my spirituality. You need to do the same. The only thing I need to invest in is getting paid. Shit! What's up, sweetness? Hi. I'm Sissy. S-S-S-S... The one and only. I done heard your name on the lips of many rappers. That's how I like it. - Like what? - Me on a lot of rappers' lips. I'm a businessman, and this is a business. Hey, Trustus. Trustus! When you gonna let us book Wackee Dee and Sun Shine in this joint? We got the hottest spot in all Locash. I have to admit this is a wonderful place. But what you've got to remember is Wackee Dee is more than a rapper. Wackee Dee is an entertainer. Right, baby? Looky here, man. I plan on givin' a big party in this place tomorrow. You understand? And Wackee Dee is gonna be in the house. Give me a call tomorrow. We can talk about it. Punk! All these record company punks is a bunch of bitches. Bitches. Damn! I got my own personal photo gallery of friends that I've met along the way. Oh, yeah? - Would you like to see? - You know it. I like to photograph my friends in a position to please. Vanilla Spice. If you know what I'm sayin'. Get large, and maybe I'll let you take a picture with me too. Maybe. Goddamn! - What you lookin' at, punk? - Nothin'. I'm sorry. - What's your name, bitch? - Albert. Albert Brown. Gusto, I just wanna say thanks a lot for letting us perform here. I really appreciate it. Yeah, baby. I gots to get up in that. Silly-ass bitch. She only go out with rappers, entertainers, shit like that. She don't know where to get the real big dick. Big dick. Excuse me, Gusto. If Wackee Dee plays here, could we be the opening act? - You dismissed. - Come on, man. - We're gettin' our shit together... - When I say "go" you go. Yo, what's going on? What's up, man? What, your posse 'spose to be deep now? Brother, you seem easily upset. Damn! - Shit. - I should fuck you up! Damn. You better have some cash. Come on, look. Fellas, come here! Let me talk to you. Look, you guys can rap, but you got nothin' I can sell. If you get it together, give me a call. - Where were we? - What's up, baby? You know who that was? That was Trustus Jones! Trustus Jones, the motherfuckin' mogul of rap! That's fine. Maybe in the future, we can tap that resource. Right now we got a very serious problem. Gusto's is the only place in Locash that showcases rap. We need to get back in. You gotta take your Slim-Fast ass back in there and apologise. - I don't wanna go in there. - C'mon, man. Now, man. C'mon. Bitch! Tomorrow. Tomorrow, all right? "Now, listen, motherfucker. I'm runnin' shit." Nope. He'll kill me. "Gusto, you need us, baby." Nope. He'll slap me. "Check this out. I'm here to kiss your ass. Show me where to pucker up." He's gonna kill me. Hope this shit is better than last time. My name's attached to this shit. - It's good. - Yeah, it's good. 40 Dog, get on the door. Show him the cash. That's enough for five birds. Let's see 'em. - Hey, you got the time? - Sure, 3.00. - No! - Who the fuck is that? - Don't worry. That kid, Albert. - What the fuck does he want? Probably just wanna kiss your ass! He is an ass-kissin' motherfucker. It's cool. Ass-kickin' motherfucker! Hi, Mr 40 Dog. I was just wonderin' if Gusto were around. Remember where it comes from, who gets that kind of cash in Locash. - Gusto, how's it go? - Freeze! Get down now! Freeze! Get down! Freeze! You too! - Well, happy birthday, Gusto. - My birthday was last week. I wanted you to have something to celebrate. - Fake-ass Bruce Willis. - You can let him go. - He's OK. - You set me up? - You set me up? - I saw him talking to the cops. You dead, bitch. Better buy a black dress for your mama. - Cell Block 4 is waiting. - Ain't nothin' but brick and steel. That can't hold Gusto. That can't hold Gusto! Gusto! Gusto! Gusto! Stay back! Let's go. Bring him out here. Gusto! Gusto! Gusto! I'm gonna get you, punk. Think it's over? You embarrassed me like this? Gusto! Gusto! Gusto! Now, Gusto was no Nino Brown, but he was large in Locash. When I heard them chant his name, I figured he won't need it anytime soon. - Brother, I don't know, man. - Listen to me. We take Gusto's image, make ourselves into hard-core rappers. Then we take stories from Gusto's life. - Get Trustus Jones to handle us. - I ain't with it. - I'm the only one taking a real risk. - How's that? Cos from now on I'll be known as MC Gusto. We'll be Cell Block 4, after the joint they threw Gusto in. You buggin'? You couldn't pick a name besides that nigga Gusto? "Nigga"? You already becomin' a gangster! No, cousin, I can't let you go out like that. I'm not havin' it. - I say we vote on it, and I vote yes. - I vote no three times. You only get one vote. Otis, how you feel? Otis, you and I both know it's suicide, man. Otis, what about Sissy? Think about Sissy. I know you want to get in there. Sissy. That's it. Assume the position, baby. I vote yes. - I wouldn't mind being large a minute. - What you gonna do? It's crazy, crazy shit! Yo, listen. Excuse me, man. Do you work in radio? - No, nigga. - Wait a minute. An answering service? No, nigga. Eat your big-ass biscuit. Hey, it don't have to be about all that. It's your speaking voice. It's so... familiar. - Yeah. - You brothers is all I got. I'm in! But I gotta tell you, if I get something better to do, I'm steppin'. Nigga, please! We're gonna be so large, make so much money, get so many girlies. By the time Gusto gets out ofjail, we'll be so large, we'll write him a cheque and tell him to chill. We can't be so exploitive, now. - No question! - Cousin! # What I look like What I act like # What I look like What I dress like # What I look like What I act like - # What I look like, what I dress like - Look at that fake motherfucker. # Wanna, wanna be worse # Fucker bait king Then they make us all birds # Pass act give half-lip back # Fool ain't never seen a Jack # Cos what I'm from the real niggaz don't play # Ain't no way to become OG in a day # You gotta put in time You gotta put in work # Can't be like that just Just cos of khaki's and a T-shirt - # What I look like, what I act like... - Next! #... what I dress like # What I look like What I act like... OK, guys, I love the image. But let me ask you one thing. Are you sure you wanna be Gusto? Why not something like Ice Pick, Ice Coffee? - "Ice" is happening now. - "Ice" my dick. We're Cell Block 4 and I'm Gusto. - Take it or leave it. - All right, guys. Let's get started. So I want you to sign with us and you want to sign with us. We want you to want to sign with us. Let me ask you a couple of questions. - Do you cuss on your records? - Yeah. - Do you defile women with your lyrics? - Yeah. Do you... ...fondle your genitalia on stage? - Yeah. - Whenever possible. Do you glorify violence or advocate the use of guns as a way of solving a civil dispute? OK, final question. Do you respect anything at all? Not a goddamn thing. You've got a deal! Welcome to the family. Trustus Productions! Trustus. You can't trust me, you can't Trustus. I love, I love it! Gold, gold, gold! # Straight outta Locash A crazy motherfucker named Gusto # I fucked your wife Cos the bitch is a big ho # I fucked your sister, I fucked your cat # I would've fucked your mom but the bitch is too fat # When I'm in your neighbourhood you better dig a moat # Cos I'm coming to slit your motherfuckin' throat # Blood is drippin' I'm not slippin' # Bitches'panties is what I'm rippin' # Rollin'faster than a motherfuckin'dirt bike # Never met a piece of pussy that I didn't like # Like to eat it, like to suck it Take a shit in a bucket # Straight outta Locash Uh, crazy motherfuckers # Yeah # Where you from, nigga? # Straight outta Locash A crazy motherfucker named Dead Mike # Get ready cos you goin' for a long hike # Off a cliff I'm drivin'you over # Now you're there wit'your four-leaf clover # Float like a cannonball Sting like a shark # I'm the nigga waitin'for you in the dark # Waitin' to rob you Waitin' to beat you # A bullet in the head is how I'll reach you # You're dealin' with the hat and it's like that # I tied your mother to a motherfuckin' train track... Cut! OK. Great. Let's set up the next scene. Everybody can take a break. All right, dude! God, I just love that "I don't give a damn" hip-hop attitude. It's so real. - Hey, excuse me. - What's up, baby? How can I help you? I know you were hooked into the prison seeing that you're from Cell Block 4. Yeah, I was runnin' shit up at CB4. I had a brother up at Folsom. He was smoked by The Black Guerrilla Family. I'm sorry to hear that. You gotta help me get revenge. They killed him on the toilet. They could've wiped his ass. They didn't have to leave him like that! That's cold-blooded. They gots to pay. They got to pay! They gots to pay. I read that part of it. Man, what's he doin' here? I would appreciate you givin' brother Baa Baa Ack the respect due him. - He is givin' me spiritual instruction. - You mean tax deduction. - Listen here, Albert! - Don't call me Albert! - It's Gusto, got it? - That's exactly my point. None of this is real, so we got to stay grounded in reality. Nigga, please! Baa Baa Black Sheep is about as fake as a bitch's hair weave. There they are. Dead Mike, MC Gusto! This is Eve Edwards of Source Magazine. - She's here to do a piece on the group. - You're here to give the group a piece? - I gots to go first. - Why you disrespect this sister? She just a groupie with a pen. A pen is all you have in your pants, it's out of ink. - Watch it, ho! - Ho? This is not Christmas, you slender slice of sexist slime, and I am not a girlie, a videho, a skeezer, a prop, a hoochie or a stunt. And most certainly not a ho. Comprende? Princess is no joke! - Thank you, Euripides. - It's my pleasure, sister Edwards. No, please, call me Eve. - You know... - I am not a groupie. I am a journalist. I take no shorts and I do my research. I can do a nice puffy feature that reports exactly what you tell me, or I can delve so deeply into your background with an eye for every inconsistency, your mother would disavow any knowledge of your birth. Now, which would you prefer, Albert? I love you. My ass was behind MC Hammer's head in U Can't Touch This. - You can't touch this - Who'd want to touch that? My left breast was prominently featured in Eric B's last video. This video exposure is too come-and-go. What you need to do is get yourself a Polaroid Instamatic. You see this watch? This is what the right picture of the right man doin' the wrong thing can get you. And on that note, we gotta go, gotta go. Yeah, we work for a livin'. You gonna keep workin', the rate you goin'. It's fine and dandy to go out with these guys and to drive around in their car, and have them take you to an expensive restaurant. But if all you get out of it is a fuck, then you's a ho. But you get yourself a fabulous motor vehicle, a fine house and can afford to pay for your own meals, then you are a businesswoman. Run your black ass back to the projects and get your government cheque. Take that monkey-ass, Shaka Zulu-lookin' bitch with you, you hip-hop hos. - You look a little lost, darlin'. - I guess I am lost. I'm looking for Albert, Albert Brown. - Who? - I mean MC Gusto. Oh, you're here for him? Yeah, he's kinda cute. Not enough man meat on him for me. I hurt small guys like that. Small men drown in my shit. Look, honey, I hope you get your man. Or get you some sense and leave them small men alone. What's happenin'? Comin' through. Straight Outta Locash made us large and I knew what we were doin' wasn't totally right, but it was definitely time to get paid. # Yo, Rakim, what's up? # Yo, I'm doin' the knowledge, E Tryin' to get paid in full # Check this out, since Nobry Walters is our agency, right? - # And Kara Lewis is our agent - # Word up # Zakia/4th & Broadway is our record company - # Indeed - # So who we rollin' with then? - # We rollin' with Rush - # Of Rushtown Management # Check this out, since we talkin'over this def beat I put together # I wanna hear some of those def rhymes, you hear what I'm sayin'? # And together we can get paid in full... Hey. Welcome to Weird Warren's V-V-V... Video Countdown. Homeboys, homegirls, ain't no need to be lax cos you got Weird Warren workin' wax. Of course, CD stacks and video tracks. CB4 is one of the hottest hip-hop groups to hit the scene in a long time. They come not out of Compton, not out of Oaktown, but out of a small town called Locash. If you're in Sacramento, they roll into your town next week. Now, let's bust Straight Outta Locash with CB4 on Weird Warren's V-V-V-V... Video Countdown. # Check this shit outl - # Yo, Gusto. - # What's up? # Kick that shit. # Straight outta Locash A crazy motherfucker named Gusto # I'll fuck your wife Cos the bitch is a big ho # I'll fuck your sister I'll fuck your cat # I woulda fucked your mom but the bitch is too fat # When I'm in your neighbourhood You better dig a moat # Cos I'm comin' to slit your motherfuckin' throat # Blood is dripping... Hey, Dad, CB4! Billings, I've got all this paper in front of me. Charts, graphs, the works. What's the bottom line? Am I gonna win? Of course you're gonna winl But your only hope is to create some kind of media event. - Daddy! - A media event? What do you mean? Dad! Daddy! Hello! This is CB4. Ben! It's just my kid. Go ahead. Stop playin' me like a sucker. I want my CB4, you hear me? # Cos you're goin'on a long hike # Off a cliff, I'm drivin'you over # Now you're there wit'your four-leaf clover # Float like a cannonball Sting like a shark # I'm the nigga waitin'for you in the dark # Waitin' to rob you Waitin' to beat you # A bullet in the head is how I'll greet you # Flat on her back I gave her some crack # It's ten o'clock Do you know where your momma's at? I might have something. # Straight outta Locash Yo, this is MC Gusto of Cell Block 4. Tonight we're performing at the Jackson Theatre. Those motherfuckers! Look at this punk! He's walkin' like me. He's tryin' to be me! I didn't know you do rap records, Gusto! That's bad, man. That ain't him. Stop bein' ignorant. Bust a little rhyme for me, man. Come on! Go, go! Look, man, there's only one Gusto and he ain't no rapper! That was a brand-new single from Cell Block 4, CB4 for those who know, from their album Straight Outta Locash. Why don't you holler at my WWWW listeners? Give 'em a holler. Yo, what's up to the hard core? Peace to all the Nubians filled with the new black consciousness. Yeah, the darker the berry, the sweeter the juice. I'm lovin' this. Why don't we go to the phone lines, talk to some brothers, let them get to know you straight up in person? We got Susan from Gardena. Why don't you holler at CB4? This question's for Dead Mike. I was reading Right On. Your birthday's comin' up. I was wondering, what's your favourite dessert? Sister, my sister. It is uplifting to know that a sister such as yourself still takes pride in her race. It's ice cream. Did you know a black man invented ice cream? No, no! How the hell a black man gonna invent ice cream in hot-ass Africa? - Tell me that. - Ice cream, Africa. That's a great concept, guys. I'm liking that. Next call. OK, I got a question for this so-called Gusto. If you set someone up for the police then stole his name, didn't even say "excuse me", wouldn't you expect the injured party to bust out of jail, hunt you down - and beat you like the dog you are? - Nah! The chickens have come home to roost. Open C block, comin' up. - Hey, baby. - Single file, girls. Walk. Girls. What are you doin'? I'm gettin' us outta here. Be quiet! - I'm in this one. - You gonna have to go! Get in there. Man, you crazy with that "I don't eat pork" shit. Personally, I'll eat a pig's ass if they cook it right. Beloved, it's against everything I now believe. You see, pork is the white man, and the white man is pork. If you spell "white man" backwards what does it spell? Pork! If you can't see that, they've got you brainwashed, brother. I must be brainwashed then. You mean to tell me if you was thrown outta your apartment and a pig offered to pay your rent, - you wouldn't take the money? - No. Shit. I'd be a-money takin' from a pig. That's the difference between you and me. I got a place and you live with your mother. Would you stop it? Albert! - Just a sip. - I'm gonna smack you. Shit. More for me then. Albert, I don't like this scene. I definitely don't like what's happening to you. Just because I got a little bit of cash, why does everybody gotta start buggin'? No, no. We are not bugging. It's you who better take a look in the mirror, Mr MC Gusto. You are not the sensitive man you used to be. # I'm in love... Daliha! Give it to me! Albert! That girl is too wholesome. She's messin' with our program. Sissy, I want you to get in as many pictures as possible with MC Gusto, kissin' him, huggin' him, whatever. - I planned on doin' that anyway. - No, no, baby, I mean, with a professional photographer. You should be what Cell Block 4's all about. If I could just add a personal note at this point. This was the year when I first discovered CB4. Well, you three have been inside my head ever since. - That's my personal thank you. - You're very welcome. I only wish everyone felt that way. The home is the most important institution in American life. It's our castle in a world of demons and dragons. Since the mysterious death of my wife, my son Ben and I had bonded together in our home. I say "had" because through rap music, evil influences invaded our castle, representatives of a demon culture that must be stopped at all costs! Any person who'd defile America's pastime by wearing a baseball cap backwards, well, that's an evil that speaks for itself. See! See how those demons have poisoned my seed! Ben! Ben! Ben! Ben! Come here, son! To some people, these fools out here could be a problem. Bad for the image, bad for sales. But you, brothers, have created something so nasty, so vile, that the iller you get, the better off we are. - Now go out there and have a good time. - No problem. By the way, I almost forgot to tell you. Gusto escaped from prison. He has vowed to dismember everybody in the group. Knock 'em dead. Get back! Get back! Trustus? Trustus, hi. - Hi, Eve. I love the piece you did. - You should thank Dead Mike. You aware they might be arrested for indecency tonight? Cell Block 4 is not afraid to go to jail. Cell Block 4 is from jail! It would be like sendin' 'em home! Sissy? Baby, where are ya? There you are. Can I have your autograph? Yeah, yeah, little kiddie. Stab Master, CB4. - Keep it as a souvenir. - Thanks. - Let's go, baby. - Come on, Dad. It's only an... Hey, hey, wait. Who is this? - She looks too cute to be your woman. - Remember what time it is! - She's my cousin, my cousin. - What? Are you OK? Man, look at this funky asshole. That bitch wouldn't give me the time of day because I wasn't an entertainer, because I wasn't a star. Don't the bitch know that we're the motherfuckin' stars? That's all right. Because now I'm gonna get paid off from them. You know how? Pimp 'em like the bitches that they are. Pimp them motherfuckin' hos. With Daliha out of the picture, I decided to see what Sissy was all about. The only problem was, so did Dead Mike. Come to big daddy. I ain't goin' down there. Shit. CB4, where you at? CB4, where you at? Yo, we livin' crazy large. We got the girls, we got the money, we got the gold. And we're one spot behind Wackee Dee. Takin' out all that rap. - I'm glad you happy, cos I'm not. - Man, what's your beef? All this gangster mess, man. People protestin'. That ain't for me. I like the music. I like the fly-ass girlies. I also like when I help my sisters around the house. One nigga wants to be Malcolm X, the other wants to be Richie Cunningham. Yo, the devil's in full effect. Hey, there's nothin' to worry about. Trust me. In my role as head of the Sacramento City Council's Board of Decency, I, Virgil Robinson, am here to inform you that: "Under penalty of arrest you cannot touch your genitalia. The word 'ho' can only be used in reference to a garden tool. The word 'bitch' may only be used when describing female dogs, and then only when in heat. The word 'blow job' can only be used in describing a job blowing up balloons or children's animals." Do I make myself clear? And under no circumstances, are you to perform Sweat... ... Sweat Of My Balls tonight. CB4, where ya at? CB4, where ya at? CB4, where ya at? CB4, where ya at? CB4, where ya at? CB4, where ya at? On the motherfuckin' stage! CB is here! CB4! Where ya at? CB4, where ya at? CB4, where ya at, motherfuckers? MC Gusto, Dead Mike, Stab Master Arson, you all have been sentenced by the government of the USA to poverty, ignorance and imprisonment in Cell Block 4! Yeah! CB4 is in the motherfuckin' house! Jump, jump, jump, jump! Say CB4! Say CB4! Say CB4! Say CB4! Yo, yo! Do that shit, do that shit, do it! Yeah, yeah, say do that shit, do that shit, do it! It goes something like this! Jump! Jump, jump, jump! Jump, jump, jump! Jump, jump, jump! Yo, give me this right now! # For the ladies, 130 pounds of beef # Yeah, Chinky eyes, curly hair and gold teeth # Swingin' with this here stud you need practice # I'm leavin' used rubbers on a mattress # When I'm with my homies we're rollin' Can't love a car unless it's stolen # Don't ask me what the price is But it's more than pussy-tickle devices - # You can feel the - # Sweat from my balls - # You can feel the - # Sweat from my balls - # You can feel the - # Sweat from my balls - # You can feel the - # Sweat from my balls - # You can feel the - # Sweat from my balls... What are they doin'? They're goin' to jail! Didn't anybody tell you this is a free country! - Get 'em! - # Sweat from my biggedy-balls... - Hey! - What the fuck! Get the fuck off me, man! Get the fuck off me. - Get off me! - Get 'em outta here! Get off! Get the fuck off me. Party over here! Just wave your hands in the air! And party like you just don't care! Answer me this. How come a rock group can bite the head off a pigeon, nothin' happen? I'm gettin' ready to go to jail for a song about the sweat of my balls. You'll be happy to know, Mr A White that Cell Block 4 actually did spend the night in jail. You guys CB4? Watch, check this out. # Well, my name is Jerry and I'm here to say # That the girl look fly but she don't give me no play # I'm MC Gusto. But in prison I'm known as 9-7-dash-K-Y L-M-N-O-P-dash-14 to the third power. Now, I may be in here for malicious acts, I do have a sensitive side. So I'd like to read you a poem. It's called - "I didn't do it". - My man got a poem. "Just because I had the cash doesn't mean I killed his ass. I didn't do it. Just because the blood was in my hand doesn't mean I stabbed the man. I didn't do it." All right, all right! Welcome to the post-arrest conference for the world's most dangerous band, CB4! - Yeah, they couldn't keep us in! - All right, first question. My name is Malik from the Tan City Sun and I'd like to know what you so-called brothers are doing to uplift the community in economic terms. Man, I'm tired of these black questions, man. Ask Michael J Fox what he's doin' for the yuppies? Ask Sylvester Stallone what he's doin' for the Italians? Brother, I'd like it to be known that I am reinvesting in the black community. I am opening a chain of beeper supply stores in Locash that will employ only our disenfranchised black youth. MC Gusto, my African-American women readers would like to know why you refer to women as bitches. Yo, women, bitches, hos... people with pussies. I love the pussy people. - Pussy for everybody. - Yeah, pussies! - Know what I'm sayin'? - I do not and neither would anyone with respect for the English language. - Next question. - Excuse me. In protest of our arrest by the powers that be, we will answer no questions from the white media! - Let's go. - Press conference over! Well, that's the story so far. This is just incredible. It's amazing. Well, to use your words, it's "all that". - It's gonna make a great video. - I wouldn't unload my camera just yet. I still gotta deal with Gusto. - Later. - All right. This bitch is really from the ghetto. Don't look like the ghetto to me, boss. "The smallest dog in the world is the Chihuahua. It is named for a city in Mexico where it became popular." Shut up, girl. You just think you so smart cos you can read. Hey, baby! Give your grandma a big kiss! - So how you doin', Grandma? - How you doin'? I heard you just broke out of the joint. I didn't even know you was in there. It was just an overnight thing. Is the conjugal room still green? I wouldn't know about that. It was just overnight. Mmm, you oughta know. - Hi, D. - Hey, Albert. How was jail? Look, Daliha, that whole cousin thing, I was wrong. I would never try to hurt you, D. I love you. Look, I got you somethin'. Great. I'm sure that Sissy girl would love these. Hey, there's a party inside. Your mother may have time for a party, but me, - I got bills to pay. - Why don't you take this to a carwash? We don't have money to take the car to the carwash every time it gets a little smudge. We ain't all big-time rap stars like you. Son, what's on your mind? I work to get us into a nice house like this, and you pretend to be a crook. - What, you ashamed of me? - No. Why you go runnin' around with gold-tooth, greasy-ass hair, holdin' yourjohnson like it's the only one God created? You ain't tough. There are some real kids out there who are gonna kick your narrow ass! You ain't from the street. I'm from the street! And only somebody who wasn't would think it was something to glorify! That's a pretty little thing. This bitch got all the bitches. We was just readin' about you, bitch! You know, your Ready-Rooter, funky-ass truck-driving father was right. You ought to be ashamed of yourself taking advantage of me. Gusto? Boy, I'm three generations deep in gangsterdom. Three generations! Albert, are you in there? And your woman? She's real fine, you know. I'd like to fuck her froggy style. - What did you say? - I'll be out in a while. OK. - Tryin' to protect that ass? - Protect that ass! - Welcome to the terrordome, bitch. - Terrordome, bitch. What are you gonna do? - You want to be a gangster, right? - Gangster. Come on, get out the car. Y'all know the routine. Y'all know the routine. Yeah! Get them goddamn clothes off! Do what he says. Mister, yo! Put your clothes back on! CB4 is in the house! CB4! You know what I'm sayin'? - Get on the ground! - Don't shoot us. Stay on the goddamn ground! You, get out there, man! Get over there, man, get over there. Get on the ground, move. Yeah, CB4 is in the house. CB4! It's me, Dead Mike, you knowl Nubian manl And right behind me, I got my DJ Stab Master Arson on the cash register. And over here, I got my favourite Nubian man, MC Gusto. - Give 'em a shout-outl - I didn't wanna... We're tired of bein'simple-ass rappers. We livin'our lyricsl - We livin' it! - Get back, motherfucker. Evidence! Get over here. And just remember, CB4! - You got it! - MC Gusto. - Stab Master Arson. Dead Mike. - Give me that! We ain't rappin', we straight up jackin'! Understand? - CB4, they're finally real gangsters. - Real gangsters. You see this right here? You break up the group tomorrow. Or else, it's goin' to everybody, MTV, the police department, Connie Chung. Shut up, man. Now CB4 is over or you're dead. 40 Dog, get rid of this trash, man. Punk! I'm callin' this private, emergency meeting. I've had it with how sloppy you two have become. - What you talkin' about? - Shut up. You don't say the words the way you're supposed to. You're too spiritual to rock the crowd. And Otis, you used to be the coolest virgin in the world. But now that you got a little pussy, your mixing has fallen the fuck off. Gusto broke out ofjail, but that ain't no reason for you to be buggin. - Shit. - I'm not buggin'. I called this private meetin' and look what happened! Hey, brothers, calm down. - You ain't fuckin' up on purpose? - What? You and Bubba Ack wanna go solo. But damn, nigga, don't sabotage CB4. Don't be so selfish, man. You wanna step off, step the fuck off! I don't know why you want me to knock you out, but so be it! - What you want, man? - Yo, you're fired! You can't fire me. Vote me out like I was voted in! Otis, throw his ass out! - Fuck this. - Otis? All I wanted to do was make music and hang out with women. When y'all get your shit straight, come see me. That's it! Cell Block 4 is through. You're free to buy that fool his boat back to Africa. You did this on purpose, didn't ya? I'm outta here, man. Here we go again. Weird Warren's Video V-V-V-V-Video Countdown. Word on the street is CB4, null and void? MC Gusto spotted in a record store, armed robbery? What? This hasn't stopped the rest of the group from doin' their own thing. My main man, Dead Mike, solo tip in his most personal recording yet. # I'm black, y'all And I'm black, y'all # And I'm blacker than black And I'm black, y'all # And I'm black, y'all And I'm black, y'all # And I'm blacker than black And I'm black, y'all # I'm blickety-black blacker than black Black, I'm blacker than black # Yo, because I'm black and I'm back # You want black and I'm black, y'all # And I'm blackety-black And I'm black, y'all # And I'm black, y'all And I'm black, y'all # And I'm blackety-black And I'm black, y'all # And I'm blickety-black black black Blacker than black # Black, black, black, black, black, y'all # And I'm black, y'all And I'm black, y'all # And I'm blacker than black Cos I'm black # Cell Block 4's DJ, Stab Master Arson, says, "Bang, I got my own thing." He's callin' his group Silent But Deadly. Uhh. # Stab Master # Stab Master # Stab Master # Stab Master # You know it, G # We've been outsmarted We believe in our song and # We've been outsmarted We believe in our song and # We've been outsmarted We believe in our song and # We've been outsmarted We believe in our song and # Stab Master # Stab Master # Stab Master # Stab Master # You know it, G # - What you up to, Albert? - Nothin'. That's what I thought. How come you're not workin'? Toaster's workin'. The VCR's workin'. How come you're not? - Almost liked it when you rapped. - Pop, I'm in trouble. You were in trouble when you decided being Albert Brown wasn't good enough. Pop, I'm tired of this MC Gusto thing. I'm scared. It's over. It's over! Son, that's the best thing you've said in a long time. My life was messed up. I turned into a monster. I'd lost my friends. I'm usin' the word "nigga" like it's my last name. Walkin'around callin' women bitches and hos. That's not right. My mother won't even speak to me. Nothing's goin'right, nothin'. Nah. Hey, Queen Latifah. Go on, girl. Man, those were the days. I remember all those groups. NWA, Ice Cube, CB4. Was the lead guy's name Gusto? - Yes! - Shit! That nigga was a perpetrator! Gusto and his whole crew weren't real gangster rappers. They was as soft as a wet baby's ass. They're straight-up fakes. They damn sure weren't no Wackee Dee! Yeah, boyee! - Yeah? - It's me, man, Rip. Man, I thought you'd be in Africa by now. Cousin, this ain't no time to argue. Trustus is dead. What? What happened? Gusto bagged him eatin'dinner with Sissy. He shot him? Hey! Who knows the Heimlich manoeuvre? - Here, I do. - No, no, no. You're not doin' it right. That's not it. Here, let me try. - Is he all right? - He don't look so good. Trustus. Thought you got away? Now you're layin' dead. But we ain't settled this yet, right? Where's my money, motherfucker? Where's my money, motherfucker? I want my money. Funeral or no, I want my money! If I have to give you mouth-to-mouth and revive your black ass, I want my money! Hey, look, we need to go outside and talk. All right? Look, I'm sorry about everything that happened. I shouldn't have let Gusto scare me like that. I think it's time we got back together. It's cool with me, Al. What about you, Rip? Brothers... ...let the past be in the past, man. All right, it's about time for CB4 to head back to the stage. We have to do this for Trustus. We gotta let people know that CB4 is for real. I'm with that, but what we gonna do about Gusto? Trustus is laying in there because of this clown. - We gonna let him get away with that? - Don't worry. We're gonna get Gusto and we're gonna get back on stage. Now, listen to this. What we have to do... Yo, when I get finished with those CB4 kids, they gonna be CB0. Yo, hurry up back, man. - Yeah, who this? - Hi, Gusto. This is Sissy. You remember Sissy, don't you? How could I forget the bitch that ditched me? Well, that was then and this is now. And if you're ready for something really special, why don't you meet me at the Honeyroll Hotel on Locash Boulevard in an hour? So you're finally ready for the big dick, huh? So, you know, I've been waiting for this moment for a real long time. I just love hearin' about anything... ...long. You know, I got a little present for you, babe. - Yeah? - It's right over here. Check it out. Got my Jimmy hat. Oh, my. Yeah, nice and large, baby, just like me. Nah, baby, you better try this one. Jokes. Enough with this foreplay. - I'm gonna get busy, baby. - Hey, wait a minute. - What's up? - Why don't you let me slip into something a little more comfortable? Slip into something more comfortable? Bitch, what could be more comfortable than what you already got on? Don't worry. You won't be disappointed. Damn, bitch. You know, you been talkin' a lot of shit lately. I sure hope you ready for this, baby. Oh, yeah, baby. I'm real ready. Oh, yeah! Yeah, I'm ready. I'm gonna get some pussy. I'm gonna get some pussy. Yeah! Come on, sugar dumplin'. - Daddy's waitin' for ya. - Turn the lights down, baby. You don't like to watch. I'll turn it down for ya. Come on now. Now get down on your hands and knees. My hands and knees? You're gonna make things difficult, huh? OK, I'll get down on my hands and knees. I'll play your little game. - Now, crawl over here. - I don't mind crawlin'. - I don't mind beggin' either, baby. - Assume the position. I'll assume the position, I assume we're gettin' ready to fuck. Damn, bitch! You! - What are you doin'? - Who's the bitch? - Damn you, bitch. - Get up! - Come on! - I was the biggest man in Locash. So, you call yourself a man? You gonna pay. You gots to pay. - Shit! - Don't even try it. Freeze! Man, not again. We got your gangster ass now, don't we? Tiger drawers wearin' motherfucker. Fuck you, man. Get out! Shut up! Oooh! # I need love # I need love Nah! Well, we're backstage at Gusto's. You can really feel the electricity here. We're anxiously anticipating the big CB4 reunion show which is about to start any moment now. The fellows are putting the final touches on their make-up, mascara, pancake... - Small world! - They're comin' out. - Yeah! - All right, fellows. OK, hi. Well, this is it. What are you guys gonna do after the show, huh? Yo, me myself, I'm gettin' my sisters a maid. What's up, girls? Yeah, and I'm gonna open up my own line of personal Nubian hygiene products, featuring deodorant because the black man has a different kind of funk! - Understand? - That's true. Very distinctive funk. I'm goin' down to South America. I'm takin' a search party. I'm gonna find Kurtis Blow. I know you're out there. I'm comin' to get ya! But serious, I'm just gonna be plain old Albert. Stop! Come on. Stop hittin' me, man. Come on, no accordion. Stop, stop! OK, that sounds like fun too. All right, get out there and give 'em a hell of a show. Ladies and gentlemen, a round of applause for CB4. Yo, yo, yo, yo! We gettin' ready to take it back to the old school! # I said hip hop, the hippie The hippie dibby hip hip hop # And you don't stop the rockin' to the bang bang boogie # Say up jump the boogie To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat # See, I am Albert Brown and I'd like to say hello # To the black, to the white the red and the brown # The purple and yellow But first I gotta bang bang # The boogie to the boogie say up jump the boogie to the bang bang boogie # Let's rock, you don't stop # Rock the rhythm that'll make your body rock # Now what you hear is not a test Cos we're rappin' to the beat # And me, the groove and my friend are gonna try # To move your feet... Yo, what's up? This is Gusto with the new Sayonara jeep. It's got an engine that defines dope. You just snap this baby into your glove compartment, and you're good to go. So you're sayin', yo, Gusto, what's under the hoodie? Sayonara, it's all that! # Just go with the flow Cos I want you to know # I want you I need you # Baby, baby, won't you be mine - # Baby, please - # I want you # I need you # Baby, baby, let's spend some time... Yo, what's up? This is a P-E-S-A, Public Enemy Service Announcement. They're tryin' to make hard-core rap disappear. Tryin' to make it final for the vinyl. Sayin' it's time for the wax to relax. A sticker here, a sticker there and now we wear the sticker like a badge. Now, what? Rap is synonymous with black. Even our own don't realize rap is even blacker than themselves. To the whites who consider themselves establishment, they fear rap is the beginning of cultural overthrow in their very own households between themselves and their kids. Uh-oh! The next guy that moves gets the same treatment. Line up over there. This is a stickup. # Stick 'em up, stick 'em up Stick 'em up # Stick 'em up, stick 'em up Stick 'em up # Stick 'em up, stick 'em up Stick 'em up # Stick 'em up, stick 'em up in the air # Face down, don't turn around Listen to the bass pound # For more types of angles This ain't no star-spangled banner # More truth than tropicana Rockin'New York to Savannah # Cos it's Macka Framma # When I go to a show Some run, some come # Many have fun to watch a nig get dumb # The right way The high way, the tight way # You're fuckin'right that I might say, stick 'em # Stick 'em up, stick 'em up Stick 'em up # Stick 'em up Stick 'em up in the air - # May day on the front line - # Front line - # May day on the front line - # Front line # Check it out, check it out # Go with the PM Steppin' through the AM # Flippin' that south When I prophesise the man # Catch a break and blow it up like TN # Or gettin'filthy, nasty as LSD # I'll make you insane, crazy You'll flip # Dribble up and down like constipated You wanna jump around # All that tryin' to fade me # I think you hit it wrong PM Dawn got it goin'on # Nocturnal is in the house Nocturnal is in the house # Nocturnal is in the house Nocturnal is in the house... # Creepin' up on ya Creepin', creepin' up on ya # Creepin' up on ya Creepin', creepin' up on ya - How much for a pack of gum? - 50 cents. - 50 cents? How much for a newspaper? - 35 cents. 35 cents? How about I give you 15 cents and you give me the good news? |
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