Line.
She thinks she's fooling us
with those sad, little eyes,
but she's just like the others.
Fear and pity.
She'll betray us in the end.
"Her hair is not
even really blonde."
...since the time
of our earliest ancestors,
an innate and essentially
human impulse.
This very quality is what
separates man from beast.
It is a manifestation
of our inherent desire
"for order, for symmetry,
for beauty."
That's it, that's it.
Oh, gentle.
- Doctor.
- Shh.
Freida!
Are you injured?
I'll get Brutto.
No, no, you can go.
I'll see it to it myself.
Let me speak with Freida alone.
- But the patient...
- Never mind that.
- But, doctor...
- Thank you, Olga.
Yes, doctor, I'll be waiting.
Freida, my dear.
I warned you to stay
in your quarters.
The patients
have very serious diseases.
They are highly contagious.
If anything ever were
to happen to you...
That sounded like a real gun.
Is everyone okay?
- What happened?
- Cut!
Cut!
I think there are
hunters out there.
If anything ever
were to happen to you,
I'd never forgive myself.
My hero, Max.
Yeah, well.
Excuse me, who's in charge here?
- Not me.
- Who is?
Try Tetrallini.
No, this one is imperfect.
Yes, we will use this one.
- Excuse me.
- No, out.
- Ma'am?
- Yes, this one is perfect.
No, take this one away.
Ma'am, you need
to move your trucks.
They're blocking our driveway.
Who can I speak to about that?
Who's in charge here?
- Coming through!
- Excuse me, who should
I speak to about moving
the trucks.
You need to talk
to Tetrallini about that.
It's got an all-child cast.
Thought it was all dwarves.
All children are dwarves,
Aristotle said that.
Excuse me! Your trucks are
blocking our driveway.
They need to move right now.
Excuse me,
can you help me with this?
Just ask who you wanna ask,
but just make sure...
Do you know if the extras
have any dietary restrictions?
- I was told iceberg lettuce...
- Tetrallini!
Oh, excuse me.
Sorry, is this the camera
you're shooting with?
- Yeah, crazy, right?
- That's tiny.
Yeah, they just keep getting
smaller and smaller these days.
It's really all
about the lens, though.
I could talk to you about that
if you want.
- I'm sure I can...
- Sarah Wagner.
- Yeah.
- I'm Joan Beckett.
- Hi.
- I'm here to interview Mabel.
Oh great to meet you.
- Oh yeah.
- Are you Tetrallini?
- We just talked about that.
- Have you seen...
have you seen Mabel?
- No, you could talk to Molly.
- Tetrallini!
Thank you.
I'm a huge fan.
- Oh, thank you.
- Tetrallini!
"We wait in long line
for loaf of bread."
I always wanted one,
but it's such
a serious commitment.
Marked for life.
How do you think of a symbol
that's completely unique to you
and perfectly expresses
your individuality,
like a barcode or something?
My father says tattoos
are an insult to God.
Now how would the tattooed
lady feel about that?
Is there gonna be
a tattooed lady?
We'll find out tomorrow.
Tomorrow.
I wonder if there'll be
a bearded lady.
If not, I could play the part.
Oh God, me too.
You, I don't see anything
suspicious.
Look, look.
No, that's like wispy silk down.
I'm an ape woman.
You obviously know.
I've plucked much worse.
Who?
Code of silence.
I guess that's good.
I can trust you.
Mabel, I wanted to
introduce you to Ms. Bechdel.
- Beckett, Joan Beckett.
- Mabel.
- Nice to meet you.
- Ms. Beckett, I'm sorry.
She's writing the article.
I'll talk to you at the hotel.
I don't want to bother you now.
That's all right. We're just
comparing facial hair.
I have you all beat.
I don't know.
You have stiff competition.
Molly, how's your beard?
Oh, electrolysis.
Best 1100 bucks
I ever spent.
Really, 1100?
They do that here, I think,
in the other wing.
Female facial hair
is making a comeback.
I doubt that.
- Do you regret it now, Molly?
- No.
It's true, armpit hair,
short hair, Afros,
eyeglasses,
these things go in phases.
- Scars are kind of a thing now.
- Joaquin Phoenix.
Even small breasts
had a brief moment in history.
I must've missed that one.
What about you, Michelle?
You need any work done?
No, she's perfect.
- Cut.
- Cut!
Try it again but, uh,
moving away from the girl.
It'd be more effective
as she becomes dwarfed
by these lonely sh...
- Cut.
- Cut!
I guess so.
Although, I don't
make those distinctions.
Well, there's always
some distinction,
in the working conditions,
for instance.
Okay, yeah, well,
on a film like this,
you kind of slum it.
But I think that's part
of the appeal.
Like, the beauty is that
it's more challenging,
physically, mentally, and, um,
also I'm just a huge fan
of the director.
It's his first American film.
Yeah, but it still
retains a kind
of European sensibility,
which is one thing I love.
And I don't get cast
in the mega-movie things anyway,
so, I'm not the type.
You're being modest.
You're very beautiful.
Thank you, but...
Since we're on the topic,
there are some bold casting
choices in this film.
I guess.
Do you have any
reservations about it?
Reservations, like how?
Um, I don't know.
Do you feel, for example,
this film might be
considered exploitative?
You know, I think
that's up to the director.
It's in the script.
Have you read it?
No.
I think this is
something he relates to.
He had very serious asthma,
or something like that,
as a child.
And so I think it's a very
personal, like, sad tale.
And he said he grew up
in the circus,
but I think he exaggerates.
Playing a blind woman
must be challenging.
Mm, but that's the job, right?
Acting is acting.
Like, um, Orson Welles,
who's white,
can play Othello,
who's black, obviously,
but then he can also turn
around and be the other...
- Iago.
- Iago, right, if he wanted.
Daniel Day-Lewis,
such a gifted actor,
he can play... he played
a hopeless cripple,
and then he turned around
and played a great
American president.
So that's a challenge.
But blindness, it's also not
a totally foreign concept,
because, you know,
blindness is an illness,
but it's also a metaphor, right.
We're all blind in certain ways.
We're, like, blind to
our own best interests
or blind to the suffering
of others.
And I think that blind people,
they feel shut...
they feel excluded from, yeah,
and I certainly relate to that.
I'm sure you do too.
Sure.
"Tomorrow and tomorrow
and tomorrow."
Well, that's from that, uh,
it's from a musical, right?
It's the little rich orphan kid.
What? No.
"Tomorrow and tomorrow
and tomorrow creeps
"in this petty pace
from day to day."
Doesn't ring a bell, man.
Everybody knows this.
You sure it's not about
a rich orphan?
Well, kind of.
It's got an all-black cast.
- American film?
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- Yeah.
- First, the tattoos,
then the mask is three weeks
late...
I have a concern.
- Maybe I'm just not getting it.
- One moment, Mabel.
Um, I was just thinking
about the beauty of eyes
or the measure of their beauty
and it's not their shape.
And can you tell
by touching them?
What are you talking about?
When she feels his face?
Who does, whose face?
Freida touches Rosenthal's face.
And?
Well, can she tell
by touching his face
that he has beautiful eyes?
Why are you bringing this
to me now?
Well, I was just
thinking about it,
and it doesn't make sense.
Sure it does.
But eyes are like moist,
and I don't think
he wants her poking...
She's not meant to
be sticking her fingers
into his eye socket.
Yeah, I know, I know.
But aren't eyes, like,
all the same shape?
I don't know that that's true.
I don't see how you can
just make a statement like that.
Can you touch a person's eyes
and tell me
if they're beautiful or...
Monstrous?
Me, maybe no,
but I'm not a blind.
I don't read Braille.
I don't have superhuman
musical abilities.
But Freida...
Beauty is in
the eye of the beholder.
Disagree.
Even if it is...
It isn't.
But eyes are, like,
considered beautiful,
'cause of their color,
or maybe it's their placement,
but it's not the way
they physically feel.
You're saying that as
someone who has sight,
as a seeing woman.
You're not thinking like Freida.
Vanessa, the script!
At this ungodly hour.
Sorry.
Here.
Read it.
I have: "Rosenthal:"
Page?
So it's "Rosenthal:
"'Please, no, don't.'
"Freida:"
"There's nothing
to be afraid of."
"She places her hands
on his face,
"feeling the contours of
his exaggerated features
"but does so with a kind of
tenderness.
"Rosenthal seems frightened
"but also, in a sense, grateful.
"Freida: 'I think
you're beautiful.'
"Rosenthal: 'Me, beautiful?'
"Freida: 'Especially your eyes,
"'you have such beautiful eyes.'
"Rosenthal: 'Why are you
so kind to me?'"
I don't know, it doesn't...
It's not altogether logical,
but it has a kind of
poetic truth,
a rhapsodic truth.
No, stop, don't smile.
- I never do.
- It's true.
That's the best way
to prevent wrinkles.
I was joking. I smile.
- Eh, Eh.
- Don't! Stop it!
- You're gonna ruin it.
- God, when does it stop hurting.
Oh, stop complaining.
This isn't even available
to the public yet.
You have to know somebody.
Who do you know?
Dr. Lichter.
He lives in my mom's building.
It's the same guy
who did Max's hair.
Max's hair isn't real?
I mean, it's real.
It's stem cells or something.
I don't know, possibly his own.
What an amazing time
to be alive.
Look, you're on TV.
Jesus, everywhere I look,
there I am.
Got to get used
to being seen sometime.
I shall be saved by my husband.
He hath made me a Christian.
Truly, the more to blame he.
We were Christians
enough before.
Even as many as could
well live one by another.
This making Christians will
raise the price of hogs.
Ugh, Shakespeare's the worst.
That's the classiest
thing I've ever done.
- Until now.
- We'll see.
All right,
I got to wash this off.
No, it's working.
- It's burning.
- Burning is good.
- Give it time.
- How much time?
Weeks, years, decades.
I thought time was the enemy.
Befriend the enemy.
How long have you been using it?
- Two days.
- Oh,
your commitment
is truly astonishing.
You laugh now
but we'll see who's laughing
in 30 years.
I never laugh, remember?
I didn't say that.
I said you never smile.
We have an update
on a string of murders
that has the whole
community living in fear.
Now, police are seeking
a man for questioning.
He's described as having
a mark on his face.
He has these marks or scars
kind of burned on his face.
They were on,
like, the left side.
- Thank you.
- Well, no, actually,
they were all over his face.
But there was just something
really off about him.
- I think he likes you.
- We'll no doubt be hearing
more about this
as the case develops.
In the meantime, please,
keep your eyes open
and remain alert.
I can't believe it.
You're on television.
I was hoping
nobody would notice.
It's my early work.
Nonsense.
Of course, if you were
gonna do it faithfully,
as Shakespeare would've wanted
it performed,
it'd be an all-male cast.
A modern interpretation.
Which I support.
Did you know our director
grew up in the circus?
I heard.
When I was a boy,
that was my dream.
That's a strange dream, I'd say.
An experience like that
can really warp a man's mind.
Maybe that's why
he's a genius.
What was your childhood dream?
Uh, it was to be a waitress.
Easily realized.
Yeah, pretty sure
that warped my mind.
But I would still prefer
it to joining the circus.
Oh no.
Never happened for me, though.
Poor Max.
What will you dream about
tonight?
My dreams are lame.
It'll probably just be
about going to work.
I'll be in it then.
I never remember my dreams.
Shame.
I never forget mine.
Get good sleep.
Tomorrow,
all your dreams may come true.
- Did you know Orson Welles...
- You know, sideshows have
been around in one form or
another
for hundreds of years.
- And people criticize them.
- What's that Welles' movie
- with the white Mexican?
- 'Cause people criticize
the unknown,
that's a human impulse...
Touch of Evil, Charlton Heston.
Isn't there a different one
with a woman,
- a white Mexican woman?
- But in reality,
sideshows benefited
people with disabilities
who had no other means
of supporting themselves.
Who's gonna employ them in like
the 1930s, the president?
- I'm gonna...
- Nicole Kidman as an American.
Is that a drone?
I think it's a drone.
It is so good to meet...
It is really nice to meet you.
What are you doing?
- I just have to wash my hands.
- Me too.
But I didn't say anything.
- Oh!
- Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.
No, I didn't, um...
No, I didn't know
anyone was in here.
- I'm sorry.
- My fault.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, it's not your fault.
- It's not your fault at all.
- Do you need help?
No, it's just my medication.
- It's my bad, sorry.
- No, no.
Crafty's down there.
Holding is down there.
Restrooms are upstairs.
Elevators are broken.
This is Michelle, our fabulous
makeup girl, be nice to her.
- We doing makeup with them?
- I don't know.
Mabel, where have you been
hiding?
You've got to meet Rosenthal.
Hi, honor, pleasure.
- Hi, yeah, nice to...
- Mabel, wardrobe meeting.
We got a movie on our hands.
Right this way, guys,
your rooms are at
the end of the hall.
Don't tell me, don't tell me,
Phrosa,
Clementine,
Nora,
the Mozes twins, Eve and Miriam,
that's an easy one.
Okay, everyone,
you can grab a bed
and get a toothbrush
and a washcloth.
Okay, who's been in a film
before... I'm sorry, a movie?
- Who's been in a movie before?
- Oh, I have.
You have, what have you been in?
It was called
Triumph of the Ill.
Triumph of the Ill,
that's a great title.
- Yeah, it's good.
- I don't think it ever came out.
Well, it happens.
You, Aristotle, have you
been in a film before?
One was called
Life Unworthy of Life,
and the other, I think it
was called Enemy of the Gods.
- Uh, Gods' Mistakes.
- Yes, Gods' Mistakes.
Enemy of the Gods
was the German title.
- Feind der Gotter.
- I think I saw that, actually.
How was it?
Powerful.
If it's the
one I'm thinking of.
Max, you bring the doctors
out here,
one doctor, out.
Yes, come forward,
and you see it, up!
You, up, up!
Do the walk, do the walk.
Now you see him,
but you do not observe him.
You're still moving,
still moving.
- "They turn away in horror."
- Little lower!
- "They taunt me."
- Lower, higher.
- "And beg me to show my face."
- Up, up!
"Only so that when I do,
"they can turn away in horror."
"They taunt me and beg me
to show my face.
"Only so that that when I do,
"they can turn away in horror."
"They taunt me..."
Hey, you're all alone over here.
All this dialogue,
it just goes on and on.
I can't remember it.
Oh, everyone's nervous
on their first day of a shoot.
I don't want to mess this up.
Our director is intimidating.
You know, he's not really.
It's his accent.
It makes him sound
like a villain.
How am I possibly supposed
to remember all these lines?
Lines are the easy part.
You've done this before, yeah?
If a school play counts,
then sure.
Yeah, this is gonna
be a piece of cake then.
Do you have representation?
Representation?
- Yeah.
- No, not that I know of.
Okay, so the first trick
to learning your lines
is to stop worrying.
I'm on this medication.
It affects my memory
or something.
Well, we'll rehearse
together if you like.
Yeah, thank you.
That's very kind of you.
I could pay you for lessons.
No, I'd be a hopeless teacher.
I'm terrible with kids.
Yeah, kids hate me, too.
That's ridiculous.
No, they're genuinely
terrified of me.
I think you're paranoid,
because children are like
mindless drones.
It's probably that
you're afraid of them.
Oh, I'm absolutely
afraid of them.
So you're not,
you're not a father then?
No.
Like, do you have a dog
or a cat?
Oh no, they hate me too.
Dogs bark at me
and cats tend to hiss at me.
All right,
now I know you're kidding.
No, anything below cat or dog:
Snail, cockroach, plankton,
they're mildly
indifferent to me.
You're hilarious.
All right, I'm on to you.
I think you're trying
to lower my expectations
so that you can run away
with the movie
and put me to shame.
I'd need to know my lines
before I could do that.
You wouldn't be the first actor
that didn't know their lines.
But I'll help you
if you need it,
which you don't.
You don't seem convinced.
What do you want to know?
How to act.
That's all?
Just start
from the beginning.
Hmm, name an emotion.
An emotion?
Yeah, just name one,
like any emotion.
I can't think of one.
You can't think of an emotion?
Is that the medication, too?
Yeah, maybe.
Like, sadness.
Okay, sadness.
See?
Acting.
Okay.
All right, I've got one.
Great.
Happiness.
Hmm, opposite of sadness.
That's what I hear.
I have to remember.
Um...
Oh yeah.
You're ecstatic.
So you think.
Okay, okay, let's try fear.
Yeah, I recognize that reaction.
Okay, how about empathy?
Empathy?
That's... that one's
very advanced.
Um, a minute ago, you
couldn't name any emotion.
Yeah, but they're all
coming back to me now.
So empathy,
in three, two, one, action.
Ah, it looks a lot like pity.
But all the same, I'm touched.
You're really very talented,
I must say.
Tell my father that.
And did you like
how I shouted action?
So good,
but that one's not your job.
Ah, I thought I'd be bold.
Oh wait, you didn't say cut.
So the scene's
still going on?
Oh yeah, it's your turn.
- No, no, no.
- No, happiness.
That's actually unfair,
because I'm already
really happy anyway.
Look, check it,
see how happy I am?
See how actually
for real happy I am.
Clearly.
Uh, hair and makeup's
ready for you.
Keep the shadow
out of the frame.
Take it out of the frame.
Maybe we want it in the frame.
Is that good?
Highlights the artificiality.
And his reaction was,
I see this as being very
damaging to capitalism.
If only.
Aren't his movies on there?
Yeah, all 11,
including the shorts.
He said, I don't make movies
to make money,
I want people to see them!
- Hey!
- Yes, officer.
Anybody you notice
with identifying markings
or characteristics,
scars, amputations...
- Uh, let me...
- Tattoos.
Let me get you Tetrallini...
If you just stay right there,
I'll just be right back, okay?
Stay right there.
Come forward, forward.
Come right there, there, stop.
Up!
Stop!
Rosenthal,
just stand in the shadows,
and when I say action, you
stand there for a few seconds.
Mabel will speak her line.
- Then walk out into the light.
- Walk out?
Step out of the shadows
and into the light.
- Got it.
- Let us now try it.
This is just a rehearsal.
Action!
Who's there?
Don't be frightened.
No, but you
need to say it exactly
as you're emerging from
the shadows into the light.
Who's there?
- Don't be frightened.
- Cut, no, no.
First,
wait five seconds.
- Okay, sorry.
- And just step,
do not just walk out.
- Don't?
- Step out.
So one step?
A solitary step
out of the shadows
and into the light.
- Okay.
- Can we try it?
Who's there?
Don't be frightened.
That was better, much better,
but you still, you must step,
make your reach longer.
The shadow is still,
we shall conquer this problem.
Maybe we can move
the light back.
The light is beautiful,
if he would just do as I asked
and lengthen his step.
Mark it, put a mark down.
Rosenthal, step to the tape,
but do not look at the tape.
You must understand.
Who's there?
Don't be frightened.
Progress.
Am I standing too long
in the shadows?
No, in fact,
is it long enough?
How does it appear, Frank?
Where's Frank?
Why am I standing
in the shadows?
Because this is your entrance.
From where?
For the entire film;
this is your introduction
as a character,
to the audience,
to the paying public.
So far, you have been
seen only in shadows.
But your face, your identity,
is a mystery.
And what exactly am I doing?
- Just standing there.
- Standing there?
It feels unnatural,
because it is stylized,
maximum effectiveness.
I'm just asking to get a
feel for the whole thing.
- So, like, what is...
- You are hiding
in the shadows,
because you are afraid,
because you are
in an unfamiliar place,
and you sense something
is not right here.
So you are hiding,
because you smell fear.
And then I just walk out?
You do not walk out.
You step out into the light.
It is an introduction.
It is an amazing moment
because the audience
has not seen you yet.
You have been withheld
just like Orson Welles
in The Muppet Movie.
You've seen this movie, no?
- No.
- You know, these Muppets,
you would like them.
They are not fully beasts
and not fully human.
They are half-breeds,
like the great god, Anubis.
Yeah, I know who
the Muppets are.
These half-men, these Muppets,
have spent the whole motion
picture sojourning westward
across the entire
United States of America
to go to Hollywood,
to see this big studio man.
When they finally reach
the motion picture studio,
after a grueling journey,
they connive their way past
the no-trespassing signs,
past the uniformed officers.
They walk into this big
studio man's office.
And the big studio man is there.
This essential man upon
whom everything depends.
But we do not see him just yet,
for he has his back turned
to the Muppets and to us.
And we think it will
just be some regular man.
But then he turns in his chair,
and we delight in the discovery
that it is Orson Welles.
It is a fabulous surprise
for the audience,
for the paying public,
a kind of, how would you
say, a reward, a shock.
Their money's worth.
We do not know who stands here
in these shadows.
It could be Orson Welles.
It could be anybody.
But it is you, in this case,
and it will create
a very nice moment.
- Okay.
- Is that clear?
- Sure.
- Is it clear?
I think so.
Let us do it this time
with Freida's line first,
and let us really shoot it
because this is digital.
We can just shoot everything.
We should've been
shooting all of this.
Hey, hey, great stuff, man.
You got a gift.
- Come see the baby.
- What baby?
For the baby scene.
It's a tiny, little actor.
We should...
oh, babies hate you.
- Yeah.
- Children and dogs hate him.
- Oh, that simply isn't true.
- And cats.
Everything
but single-celled organisms.
- That's not exactly what I said.
- Dogs love everybody.
Not me, they smell fear.
Why are you so hard on yourself?
- No, don't cry.
- No, no, dogs are innocent.
- Look, see how good?
- Nein!
The suffering must be real.
This is just Frank.
Imagine if we get Mel Gibson...
- No!
- Or Kevin Spacey.
- No!
- This is just a mock-up.
It is essential
that his maladies be real.
That is the code that
I have sworn to honor.
Besides it would be too
expensive to get a real actor.
Then we must do
so much hours of makeup
and prosthetics every day.
Well, actually, with the
insurance and liabilities,
I don't want you to have to
worry about any of that, though.
Or we do it digitally.
I mean, digital effects
are the plastic surgery
of the moving image.
I mean, a little touch-up
here and there,
like nothing too noticeable.
I don't know.
It's just an amazing time
to be alive.
She thinks she's fooling us
with those sad, little eyes,
but she's just like the others.
- Fear and pity.
- She'll betray us in the end.
Her hair's not even
really blonde.
Mabel.
Mabel, new pages for you.
- Thank you.
- Yup.
What kind of camera?
- Oh, this is...
- Oh I knew it!
A celluloid man.
Yeah, just don't open the...
Some people say
there's no difference.
Not me, I'm like you.
Don't have your eye, but...
you talk to Matt,
set photographer?
I've seen him around,
but I don't think
I've spoken to him.
I'll introduce you.
He's competent.
Shoots digital,
like everybody these days.
Makes sense in his line of work.
But he's not doing
what you're doing.
You got a natural talent,
acting, photography.
Things just come easy to you.
Thanks, if you say so.
I do say so.
I admire your gift,
even if it is God-given,
so to speak.
Yeah, everything has been
really interesting so far.
I'd love to get a photo.
Sure, that'd be great.
Hey, you, come take our picture.
Come.
I'd rather you took it,
but it's impossible.
Ah, we could take a selfie.
Selfies.
Ready?
Three, two, one.
Wait, wait, one more.
Okay, ready?
You want one?
Uh, sure, if that's cool.
All right, three, two, one,
smile!
Back to work.
That was great.
I want a copy of this.
You probably develop it
yourself.
No, I don't really like
to mess with the chemicals.
And I'm on this
medication that...
Do you not like me
for some reason?
I don't know you.
I am who I am.
I can't change, so...
I like you, yeah.
Happy to hear it.
I like you, too.
I respect you.
You'd make a great
Richard the Third.
Olivier undermined
the whole part,
because he was too vain
to be defective.
Not me, I'd slather my
whole face with latex.
It would suit me.
I hate to be looked at.
I was an Arab woman
in my former life.
I really believe that.
That's why I'm ashamed
to show my face.
I'm insanely shy.
Yeah, I'm kind of shy, too.
Oh, you're not shy.
You're contemplative,
circumspect.
Guarded?
- Who do you think you are?
- Sorry.
This is not a playground.
Your people are running
around, over by our side,
right near our patients
and families.
They're scaring the children.
I don't think they should
be left on their own.
I warned Goodrich
that this would happen,
but no one listens to me.
This place is so big.
We're the oldest and
largest hospital in the state.
It was funded by Carnegie.
We were forced to close
in the 1950s,
but in 2001,
Dr. Goodrich reopened it.
Look.
It was an all-female cast.
Oh yeah,
I did see that one.
Have you talked to Rosenthal?
He's amazing.
Mabel seems to like him.
I need to talk to somebody.
Who am I gonna talk to?
Phrosa and Aristotle,
let's talk to them.
Oh damn it.
Stella, I like her.
Fascinating.
I love the struggle.
Who's that girl Rosenthal's
talking to?
"Heard melodies are sweet,
"but those unheard are sweeter.
"Therefore, ye soft pipes,
play on."
There's a bearded lady
after all.
Guess I didn't get the part.
It's not too late.
The movie's not over.
Who is that
dancing with Rosenthal?
I think she's his wife.
I didn't know he was married.
What do you think
about the Siamese twins?
Eva and Miriam?
Very pretty.
Yeah, but I don't think
they're real.
What do you mean?
I mean, I think that Siamese
twins have been phased out,
you know, like, at least
in the First World.
Well, maybe those two couldn't
be separated for some reason.
If they were attached
at the skull maybe,
but at the hip like that,
that's, like,
a simple procedure.
They could do that
in the Carnegie wing.
Maybe.
Well, they're twins, anyway.
Sure, sure.
And that one,
the half-man, half-woman.
Jack-Jacqueline.
She doesn't talk much.
Or is it a he?
I mean, it has to be
one or the other.
All right,
that's not a real thing.
A hermaphrodite? Sure.
Yeah, but, like, split
down the middle like that,
she's a fraud.
I think it's a he.
He's a fraud.
Well,
Rosenthal's definitely real
and Brutto, the little person.
It's a pretty impressive lineup.
How do you know she's his wife?
I don't know.
I just kind of assumed.
Who is that?
That's you,
after you get burned.
I thought that it was just
gonna be one quick shot.
Real suffering.
"We must honor this code."
And I also don't think that
the director's actually German.
They say he grew up
in the circus.
I view it as a form
of cinematic hygiene.
We tell ourselves
stories in order to live.
That's great.
Who said that?
Did you make that up?
Be careful of that fucking pig.
I'm not an animal.
We're the oldest and
largest hospital in the state.
It was funded by Carnegie.
- She's beautiful.
- Who?
The, um, Japanese girl
you were dancing with.
Oh yeah, her.
She's your wife?
Yeah.
Uh, how, how did you meet?
I've never seen her
before in my life.
You're not married.
No, not me.
I'll be a bachelor 'til I die.
Why do you say that?
I mean, there's someone
for everyone.
Ah, maybe I'm just
a bit too picky.
What about you?
Are you married?
So we're both picky.
Eh, I blame my father.
No one was ever
good enough for me,
or maybe I wasn't
good enough for anyone.
Anyway, um, you,
you saw the new pages?
Oh, my God, yeah.
- I'm, I'm so sorry.
- Why are you sorry?
Well, 'cause I assume
you didn't sign up
to do that thing with me.
And if you don't
want to do that,
I can totally back you up.
Is it a problem for you?
No, no, I'll do what I'm told
and whatever the scene
calls for.
It's a visual medium, right?
It might be really effective.
You sound like Max.
We could demand stunt doubles.
I don't know
if lovemaking counts
as a stunt.
Anyway, it won't be so bad,
will it?
Smile!
Don't look too happy.
His wife will be jealous.
She's not his wife.
That's my camera.
Hey, what happened
to the others?
Where's Rosenthal?
Oh, he's not coming.
They're staying here.
- What?
- The hotel's too small
and it's not
handicapped-accessible.
There are plenty of beds
at the hospital.
Plus, they're guarding the
camera equipment, too, so...
Yeah, but if the hotel
is built for the hospital,
why wouldn't it be
handicapped-accessible?
Built in less
enlightened times, I guess.
Hey, are they alone in there?
I'd give a million dollars
to know what goes on in there.
Are you going back out tonight?
That's kind of
a personal question.
We're locking the doors early.
A body was found
just up the road.
Dead?
The killer.
We might have walked
right by him.
They spotted a man in the woods.
He's real kind of messed up
looking:
Scars or something.
Well, don't look at me.
I don't have any scars, clean.
I don't have any
distinguishing features,
not even a, what do you call it,
a mole.
That is your distinguishing
feature, total blandness.
- Herr Director?
- Yeah, yeah.
Which do you prefer
for the portrait
Rosenthal paints of Freida?
Well, well, ideally,
I'd like to use
this abstract one.
It is almost as if she
is becoming one of them.
Yeah, but can you tell it's her?
Hmm, unfortunately,
it is not so obvious.
Uh, where is everybody?
Camera's busted.
We can't shoot.
Everybody's in the auditorium.
They're gonna screen dailies.
Oh.
- I love him.
- I love him.
Sounds convincing, action.
I love him.
What a horrible thought.
A beast.
Surely you know
I could never allow it.
Max, put your hand...
Turn your
head slightly for me.
Yes, yes, that's perfect.
When I paint,
I can remake the world
as I wish it to be.
Brother says he's getting close.
I do not want
to get my hopes up,
but to think that then
I'll see all the colors.
Then I can see you.
Drop the paintbrush.
I'm... I'm happy,
if you could see,
you, so young, so beautiful.
You could own the world.
Sorry?
Say, "You could own the world."
You could own the world.
Your voice,
there is something
you want to tell me.
I have a strong intuition
about people.
Let us not have
secrets between us.
May, I want to tell you.
And yet, I've been so afraid.
Come out and say it.
It's my face.
What about your face?
If, or when, you see my face,
you'll turn away in horror.
Turn away,
in horror, from you?
What do you look like?
I have this disease
that makes my face
look mutilated.
Mutated.
I have this disease
that makes my face look mutated.
No, I do not believe it.
It's the truth.
I'm an outcast.
It's just,
you're the first person
that didn't scream.
Perhaps my brother
can fix your face.
There's no hope.
It really does not matter
to me what you look like
or if you have some
terrible disease,
not now, not when I see.
Who you are inside,
that's what I see.
Your heart is gentle and kind,
and therefore,
you are beautiful.
If others cannot see that,
it is they who are blind.
Action.
You're not doing your dance.
They're really just children,
such innocent creatures.
Now show the dance.
- Faster.
- Come, yes.
- With the flute.
- Do not make eye contact.
Then, she like doesn't
have the chops to pull it off.
Quiet on set!
My initial optimism
was premature.
The organs failed 12 hours
after transplantation.
I've failed again.
I'm at 33?
I think you're at 30.
Tell me when I'm at 33.
Keep doing it, right there.
Okay, action!
All right, I'll yell action,
and then after that
I'll just cue Brutto.
- Uh, in a little bit?
- Yeah.
Right there.
All right, action!
Brutto.
All right, back to one.
Camera, set.
Brutto!
Leering, yes.
Back to one.
I like this composition, yeah.
The soul has too many windows.
- Set.
- Brutto!
Back to one.
All right, Sarah,
turn a beat earlier,
half a beat earlier.
Okay.
Turn your head
slightly to the right.
Turn slightly to the right.
Perfect.
Oh, no, slightly left, yes.
A little more left.
Yes.
Brutto.
Brutto!
Back to one.
We now have the power
to bend nature to our will.
Do we not have a responsibility,
a sacred duty,
to eliminate disorder,
to end aberrations?
Sorry, I messed up the word,
start again.
Since you're starting over,
just take a step to your left.
Yeah.
A centimeter.
To end,
to eliminate disorder, to...
Eradicate!
Eradicate aberrations.
Slumping his head.
We now have the power
to bend nature to our wills.
Do we not have a responsibility,
a sacred duty,
to eliminate disorder,
to eradicate aberrations,
to put an end to needless
suffering?
We now have the power to
bend nature to our wills.
Do we not have a responsibility,
a sacred duty,
to eliminate disorder,
to eradicate aberrations,
to end needless suffering,
to take arms...
I do not know whether
he is a genius
or a madman.
Show them.
You can do it.
He's not an imbecile.
Show them what you showed me.
Don't be afraid.
"Heard melodies are sweet,
"but those unheard are sweeter.
"Therefore, ye soft pipes,
play on."
You practiced with him!
He's just repeating by rote.
He doesn't understand
the meaning
of what he's saying.
No!
You said you'd help me, doctor.
In time.
I have done much for you,
things that have made me
ashamed.
But I acted in desperation,
'cause you promised me
a new face, a new life!
Though I'm starting to
suspect you might not be
as sincere about holding
up your end of the bargain.
I've done it, my dear,
just as I promised.
The operation
was a complete success.
Is it really true?
A medical breakthrough.
Shh, sleep some more.
You need rest.
When you wake up,
a new life will begin.
No one must ever know
that you are my...
One more time.
I almost said "son."
No one must ever know
that you are my brother.
Who's there?
Come closer.
Let me see.
We begin by registering
all people...
...be it physical, ethnic...
Get them away from me.
Freida, why aren't you in...
How did you...
All of you, leave, at once!
Rosenthal.
I knew I could never...
You said you'd help me,
Dr. Otternschlag.
Stop him.
He's against all of you.
We're all the same here, doctor.
Freida,
I thought you were one of us.
Please, spare me.
I can fix all of you.
You can lead normal lives.
I can set you free.
All my knowledge, the success
I've had with Freida,
let me do the same with you.
I'm your only hope.
Nice try, doctor.
Oh God!
Freida.
Brother!
No, stay away from me!
Stay away!
You're a monster.
Look, Freida, behind you!
My face.
My face.
I wouldn't want to sleep there.
I'd give a million dollars
to know what goes on in there.
It's a visual medium,
so it serves
as a kind of shorthand.
A defect of the body
is kind of ocular metaphor
for defect of the soul.
Look, Quasimodo, Achilles,
Richard III, Bloster,
Goliath, Tom Thumb,
Captain Hook, Caliban,
Krueger, Frankenstein,
all bitter defectives.
It's such a gamble when you get
a face. Who said that?
And the chariot is the vehicle
that drives all of that.
The empress and the emperor
are overseeing this.
Man, how do you do that?
It's not him.
- It's the cards.
- Wow.
How prophetic.
- Nina!
- Nora.
Nora, you have to have
Aristotle do your reading.
I don't believe in
that stuff, no offense.
Oh, I don't usually, but wow.
Maybe she doesn't want to know.
What time is it?
Some godforsaken hour.
Oh, fuck.
I got to go learn
my goddamned lines.
But trust me, this guy,
got a gift.
Hey, Brutto.
What are you doing with that?
What does it look
like I'm doing?
That's not our camera.
They want us guarding
the equipment.
That is implicit permission
to use it.
Yeah.
Let's make a movie.
I have to memorize my lines.
I'm not gonna be
blamed if you break that.
Anybody can use this.
It's digital.
I encourage this behavior.
Does she agree?
No, actually, I don't.
So you're the evil one.
I think that makes me
the evil one.
You're on the right.
Left is the sinister one.
Don't you know that?
It's been years since
somebody told me that.
You girls ever acted before?
Oh my God,
do you guys never sleep?
I'd stop messing around
with that camera if I were you.
I think we're being watched.
Why are you so paranoid?
We heard they were
filming a movie in here.
Yeah, we're
just getting started.
You want to be in a movie?
It doesn't look like a movie.
- Let me tell you a story.
- No.
Just listen.
In the days of the Black Death...
I don't care.
I need to go.
How many men
have you made love to?
Nobody, you know that.
How could I know that?
I mean, I can only hope.
So you've never had a boyfriend?
- No.
- I'm gonna be the first.
No, you won't.
I know that.
How could I not know that?
But let me tell you something.
When you do finally
make love to a man,
no matter who it is,
if it isn't me,
I don't know what I'll do.
You won't do anything.
I'll kill myself.
A Family in Need is on.
I have to go.
A what is on?
Oh God, you're so out of touch.
Oh come on!
Don't think I don't get it.
There's some actor
on a show, right,
some hot actor.
I mean, I just don't
understand you sometimes.
I thought you were
the literary type.
Turns out, you're just
a child of television.
No wonder you can't communicate
properly with people.
I think you need to grow up!
No, I don't need
to take this from you.
You have no idea how to
interact with people.
All you do is yell and act
bitter because you're deformed.
- Oh, so you admit it now!
- No, I didn't say that.
You were the one that
said you were deformed.
Oh bullshit!
Why can't we just
do something fun?
- This is fun.
- This is not fun.
Well, if you just relax!
You may like
it's a massive burden
spending time with me.
I mean, what the fuck
else do you have to do,
apart from go home
and watch television?
Smile, be happy, here, now.
I am fantastic company!
I am happy, okay, see?
I like you fine.
I'm just not attracted to you.
I'm sorry.
All you do is talk about us
and ask me why our
relationship is this way
and why it can't be that way,
and it makes me uncomfortable.
People don't talk this way
to each other.
People certainly
don't threaten suicide
in the middle of a conversation.
You don't talk this way
to other people.
You don't talk this way
to Louis.
I don't know
how to react to you,
other than to fall in love
with you.
But I can't.
I won't.
I wouldn't want to.
I just think you need
to lower your standards.
Well, whatever happens, happens.
Maybe I'll end up
falling in love with you.
Let's go see a movie.
A Family in Need is on,
and it's a
really important episode.
I can't miss it.
I told you that already.
Okay, we'll go.
We'll watch it.
Well, I'm
watching it with my sister.
You know, last night,
I had the most
unsettling nightmare.
- Tell me.
- I was in this hospital.
And then we cut directly
into the dream, right there.
Who wrote this?
- Brutto did.
- Man.
- You don't like it?
- I like it.
Doorways, I have to duck.
Ceiling fans, chairs,
transportation,
like, you know,
cars, airplanes, you?
Countertops...
How much do you think
this hospital costs?
How would I know?
Nurse, how much
does the hospital cost?
An arm and a leg.
I wonder if they take insurance.
Brutto,
you've had surgery, right?
Yeah, of course.
Like a lot of surgery?
Yeah, I mean, yeah, so?
Okay, do you not want
to talk about it?
I'll talk about it,
but why are you asking?
I mean, I mean,
I'll tell you about my surgery.
Nina, you've had surgery, right?
My name's Nora.
Nora, I apologize.
But how much surgery
have you had?
It depends.
- On what?
- On what you call surgery.
Well, I don't
mean getting a tattoo.
Let's put it that way.
A lot then.
Who do you think has had more,
you or Brutto?
I had some.
Ah, and did your insurance
cover it?
- Some of it.
- I don't have insurance.
Are you serious?
I can't afford it, so what?
I tore a ligament in my knee,
and I had to wear a cast
for a year.
- Interesting.
- Is that not legitimate?
Oh no, I'm not saying
that it's not legitimate.
I'm just commiserating with you.
Okay then.
Gee, now I feel left out.
- Be glad about that.
- Definitely.
You don't need to feel left out.
You've witnessed surgery.
Yeah, like it's the same thing?
Oh no, no,
I know it's not the same,
but yes, I've seen a lot,
and it's affected me.
And you're helping people,
which is great.
I get emotionally attached.
To the breast implant patients?
People die here.
Of malpractice, maybe.
That's one reason.
I was joking.
Not malpractice
but all medical procedures
carry risks,
so percentage-wise,
some people do die.
It's not necessarily a result
of malpractice.
Some people don't tolerate
anesthesia, for instance.
But they need those breasts.
They're willing to die
for those breasts.
You guys make it sound
so trivial,
but if a woman needs bigger
breasts to feel confident
and we live in a society
that favors larger-chested
women,
how can you fault them for that?
Look at your face.
You weren't born like that.
You had corrective surgery
that wasn't medically necessary.
I was an infant at the time.
I didn't consent
to any reconstructive surgery.
Yeah, but your parents,
or whoever,
they took a risk, so you could
fit better into society.
What do you know about
how I fit into society?
I'm on your side. I'm just
defending breast implants
and saying that some people
think it's necessary,
and the risk
is worth the reward.
Yeah, but you act like everybody
that goes in there, dies.
That's absolutely
not what I'm implying.
We literally have the
best doctors in the world.
Dr. Godwin, right?
Goodrich,
Dr. Goodrich is the best.
For what he does, he's the best.
People come from literally
all over the world to see him.
- What's so great about him?
- He's really good.
He's pioneered all sorts
of procedures.
Look him up online.
Maybe I should go see him.
Oh, he's booked years
in advance.
- Years?
- Mm-hmm.
Rosenthal?
- What is happening?
- Rosenthal?
Nurse, both of you,
come on, do something.
- I, I don't know.
- I don't know what to do.
Has this happened before?
Someone call a doctor!
Oh my God, oh my God,
oh my God, oh my God!
Okay, cut.
That was fun.
Okay, guys, please don't
make me do that again.
I'm sorry, everybody.
I think we should try it
one more time.
What was wrong with it?
It didn't feel real.
Brutto, you were too aggressive.
That's the way it was written.
Well, let's just try
to soften it a bit.
Okay, coughing for real now.
I'm not doing it again.
You sound just like
your character.
Rosenthal, you write one.
- Nah, I'm good.
- Why not?
It can be anything,
something that you could
never be in the real life.
Well, I've always wanted
to be a waiter.
- To play one?
- No, to actually be one.
That's never gonna happen.
Oh I know,
but it would be great.
Tell us about it, Rosenthal.
So there I am,
the hustle and bustle
of the restaurant,
waiter's uniform.
I go up to a group of customers.
They're in a booth
in the corner.
And I say to them,
"Good evening, how are you?"
And they reply,
"Fine, thank you.
"How are you?"
"Well, it's a bit busy.
"But I can't complain.
"We have some specials
on the menu tonight.
"Would you like to see them?"
They reply, "Yes, we would."
The exchange continues
as you think it would,
till finally we get to the point
where I say,
"Are we ready to order?"
One of the girls pipes up
and says,
"I'll have the tuna melt
and a Diet Coke."
You're working at a diner?
Okay, one of the
girls pipes up and says,
"I'll have the Dover sole,
please."
Dover sole and a Diet Coke?
One of the girls
pipes up and says,
"I'll have the Dover sole and
a glass of red wine, please."
Fish and red wine?
Why is everyone looking at me?
I don't even like movies.
Someone else write one.
I've got to learn
my goddamned lines
and take my goddamned
medication.
I'm done with this.
I have a movie.
I'm gonna go to bed.
I've got to
learn my goddamned lines.
Oh great, now a woman
wants to make a movie,
and nobody wants to help.
Hey, I made one.
I'll help you.
Maybe it's too ambitious
for tonight anyways.
No, tell us about it.
Okay, well...
My face.
Real acid.
Who did this?
Hi, Mabel.
It's great to see you again.
Comfy?
All right, turn to me.
Okay.
This is Lisa.
She's a medical student.
I hope you don't mind if she
observes our exam, today.
That's fine.
So, Lisa, this is a
very interesting case.
Why don't you present her to me?
Um,
this is Mabel Fairchild.
She's a 30-year-old,
white female
who originally presented
to Trinity Hospital in 2017
with third-degree
chemical burns resulting
from an accident on a movie set.
They affected 20% of her body,
including her head,
oral mucosa, neck,
and left-upper extremity.
In the ED, she was
found to be hypotensive,
was fluid resuscitated
and then admitted to the ICU
and was ultimately
transferred to Mount Sinai,
where there's a burn unit.
Good, continue.
- She also...
- You're doing great.
She also had a
bout of acute renal failure,
presumably due to ATN from
her hypotensive episode,
but that is now resolved.
Surgery plastics
and ophthalmology
were all following.
She had a flap procedure
to reconstruct part
of her nose
and left buckle area,
which she seems to have
tolerated pretty well.
Overall, she spent a month
in the hospital
and now presents
for routine follow-up.
The only thing of note
is that she appears
to have started smoking again,
up to 1/2 pack a day,
and her alcohol intake is
up to five or more glasses
of wine a week, which
makes me a little concerned
about whether there's
a substance-related
issue going on.
Hmm.
Can you actually
make that two, on me?
You're not drinking alone,
are you?
Here you go.
Keep it.
Has anyone ever done
anything nice for you before?
What do you want?
I just want to
buy a girl a drink.
You just say thank you.
Man, you try and do
something nice for someone.
Cheer up.
Come meet my friends.
- Just say it.
- Say what?
Say what you want to say!
What do I want to say?
Jesus, you're paranoid.
Ice fucking cold.
If you don't want
to deal with people,
maybe you shouldn't
fucking go out in public.
Keep the drink.
You look like you need it.
Hi, how are you?
Fine.
Are you ready to order?
Yeah, tuna melt
and a Diet Coke, please.
Don't be frightened.
Sorry, do I know you?
You don't recognize me?
Rosenthal!
No, it can't be.
What, what happened?
Hard to believe, isn't it?
It's impossible.
How?
Goodrich, you remember,
the doctor from the hospital
where we shot The Undesirables
or Marked for Life,
as it was called then.
Goodrich fixed all of us,
Phrosa, the twins, Aristotle.
He saved us.
I could never imagine.
People get used to anything.
But after a while,
it just felt normal.
But now that I'm free,
I have my dream job.
And I can't wait
for you to meet Lily.
Your wife?
My dog.
Dog's love me now,
and I love dogs.
You need to have the procedure.
Feel my skin.
It's real flesh, made from
stem cells or something.
He knows what happened to you,
and he wants to help.
Oh, I've seen so many doctors.
But he's not a doctor.
He's a miracle worker.
I'm living proof.
Do it, while you're still young.
It's too late for me.
Five years is nothing.
You could even
have your career back.
- I'm too old.
- Or who knows?
There's loads of good roles
in television, I hear.
Anyway, it's never
too late to be happy.
You'd be crazy to refuse.
Why suffer, for what?
For nothing.
Go to him.
We can be together, Mabel.
I'm so happy, I can't tell you.
Rosenthal.
It's you.
I don't want to disturb you.
No, don't go, though.
Stay with me.
No, please, don't.
Why?
You don't have to be afraid.
I think you're beautiful.
Me, beautiful?
Especially your eyes.
You have such beautiful eyes.
Why are you so kind to me?
Cut.
She didn't do the German accent.
What more can I do?
Another take.
No, I've done everything.
Now I must wash
my hands of this.
We tell ourselves
stories in order
so that we might live.
Man has been telling
himself stories
since the time of
his earliest ancestors.
It's an innate,
human impulse, you know,
the longing for, for order,
for symmetry,
for, you know, for beauty.
Right, right.
So a good story
satisfies that longing,
like a three-act structure.
That's like an attractive woman
or, God, you know, ideal,
but an attainable one.
Yeah, but if everything
were ideal,
then nothing would be ideal.
That's why I like you,
bright boy.
The car's here
whenever you're ready.
Hey.
Hi, before you go,
I wanted to give you this
from my secret stash.
What is it?
Dr. Lichter's Magic Cream.
Ah, the anti-laughing cream.
- Mm-hmm.
- I'll try not to smile.
I believe in you.
You know Dr. Lichter?
Oh yeah, he lives
in my mom's building.
You know him, too?
Yeah, he's, um,
a friend of my agent.
What is this stuff?
Oh, it's nothing. It's...
- For girls.
- It's for girls.
- Well, then.
- Yeah.
Dr. Lichter is really a genius.
- Mad genius.
- Uh-huh.
God, I feel left out
not knowing this guy.
We'll hook you up, one of us.
Right, one of us.
- Sarah.
- Mm-hmm.
If you don't mind,
I'd like to talk to Mabel alone.
Oh, I, uh, um, sure.
What's this about
anti-laughing cream?
Uh, it's just a joke.
"Laughter is never
very far from derision."
Who said that?
I have no idea.
Well, it's impressive... Latin.
Dead language.
You're keeping it alive.
One day, it'll be gone.
Well, not you,
you're immortalized
on celluloid.
Another dead language.
You wanted to talk
about something.
Yes, well, no,
I just,
well, Mabel, I wanted to say...
...it's been a pleasure
working with you.
Hello, madam.
Hi.
Are we having a good day?
Pretty good.
How's your day?
Very good.
Thank you for asking.
We are going to the airport,
yes?
Yeah.
You are an actress?
I am.
You are very beautiful.
Thank you.
Uh, shouldn't
we have turned left?
Ah, yes, madam,
but the road is closed that way.
They found a dead man.
There's no way through.
Police close it.
The killer.
I love movies.
I see every movie ever made.
- You know Indiana Jones?
- Yeah.
That is
the best movie ever made.
You and me are the same.
We are both artists.
You're an artist?
Yes, madam,
I am many, many things.
Here, this is my book.
Um...
You wrote this?
Yes, madam.
What is it?
I can't read the language.
It is a story of
how I escaped my country.
What's your country?
I am from Nigeria.
You know Nigeria?
Africa.
Africa, that is right.
My wife and children
are there still.
God, I'm sorry.
But God has a plan.
Yeah, he does.
This is a book I write
about my experience.
I would next like
to make a movie of it.
It'll make a very,
very good movie,
because there's a lot of action.
Who would you have play you?
I will play myself.
But if Hollywood wants
to make this movie then,
maybe we get Denzel Washington
or Daniel Day-Lewis,
oh, phenomenal actor.
Well, you should have
someone translate your book,
so I can read it.
I translated it.
You can download it
on Amazon.com.
I'll download it
when I get home.
What is the title?
Title is hard to translate.
It means like, My Sad Tale,
but I call it My Struggle,
because this sound
more commercial.
If you like it, please
give five-star review.
And when I make this movie,
you can be in the movie, too!
Yeah.
God, wow, that's incredible
that you escaped,
and you're a limo driver
and a published author.
Yes. I know nine languages.
Wow.
I am also a math wizard.
Math?
Yes.
Let me demonstrate.
Ask me to multiply something.
Uh, uh...
Give me two numbers,
and I'll multiply them.
I don't know.
I can't think of any.
You cannot
think of two numbers?
Six and 20?
No, madam, that is too easy.
Much harder,
give me much harder.
642 times 9,060.
642 times 9,060 is, uh,
5,816,520.
Wow.
Look it up
on your mobile phone.
Oh, uh, say that again.
5,816,520.
That's insane.
How did... how did you do that?
I am a math wizard.
No, that's impossible.
God, what else are you
freakishly good at?
I make a TV show.
See this here?
Is that a camera?
Yes, I film my passengers.
Are you filming now?
Oh no, no, no.
I always ask for permission
before I film.
I am very smart, and I do
not want to get sued.
So I always ask for verbal
consent without fail.
Will you consent?
What is it for?
I film my passengers
answering math problems,
and I want to make a TV show
to help children learn math.
Oh.
But I'm terrible at math.
I mean, I...
I'd seem like an idiot.
I know a special way
to teach math.
Look, right now,
this is only a dream.
But I will edit the show,
put it on YouTube,
and then it will
get very popular.
And then I get famous enough
to ask President Trump
to bring my family from Nigeria.
And he will do as I ask.
You're an extraordinary man.
Will you consent to film?
I leave it in your hands,
but I will be very grateful
if you would allow it.
Do I have your permission?
Mmm
Yeah
Ohh, ah yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Ohh
Yeah
Ohh, I need you
Oh, I got to have somebody
Somebody
Somebody
Somebody to come
Oh
Whoa
Whoa
Oh, I need somebody
Got to have somebody
Please
Oh, please
Please
Ohh, I got to have somebody
Got to have somebody
I need somebody
To come and see about me
Yeah, I got to have you
I got to have you
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeahh
Oh, Lord have mercy
I got to have somebody
Yeah
Yeah
Whoa
Whoa
Yeah
Got to have somebody
I need
I need
I need
I need
Got to have
I-I-I got to, I got to
Oh, I got to have you, babe
Somebody
Somebody
Somebody
Please
Got to have you
Got to have you call on me
Somebody
Somebody
Yeah
Yeah
Yes, I do
Oh
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah, I got to,
I got to have somebody