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Chapter 27 (2007)
I believe in Holden
Caulfield, and the book. And what it was saying to a lost generation of phoney people. We have arrested Mark David Chapman, of 55 South Kukui... K-u-k-u-i street Hawaii, for the homicide of John Lennon. If you wanna know... I mean, if you really want me to tell you about it... I will. But the first thing you probably want to know is all that stuff about my Dad... and what he did to my Mom and me and all. The whole goddamn childhood. But I'm not gonna tell you any of that stuff. That stuff isn't important. Not anymore. "Chapter 27" Transcribed by VincePirez (vincepirez@googlemail.com) I'm just gonna tell you about what happened to me right around last Christmas. Those 3 days in New York City. Listen. You know those ducks, the ones in Central Park? Huh? The ducks. The ones that swim around that lake in Central Park. Do you know it? - You wanna go there? - No. Yeah, maybe I will. It's just in the winter when the lake freezes, where do they go? What're you saying? What happens to them, to the ducks? Where do they go? Where are they now? You gotta be kidding me, right? You gotta be, asking me about the ducks! Alright buddy, so where do you want me to take you? For real. Now, I didn't know it at the time, but... the whole goddamn place was full of perverts and morons. It depressed the hell out of me. It really did. Nobody in the world knew what was going on in that room - what was happening to me. Holden. It was December and all, and I went outside and walked a few blocks North. There was this kind of a crazy cold day. No sun out. No wind. Nothing. I went up to the "Dakota" This strange building on the upper west-side of Manhattan. It was like something out of the "Wizard of Oz". The home of the great. The powerful. I'll bet you guys are waiting for somebody, huh? Hey, do you know.... is he home? I don't know. He's somewhere in New York City. My God! I can't believe I'm standing right here! You are! You've gotta understand - I've been a Beatles fan since I was a kid, and John is... was, the genius behind them. - Do you like his new album? - He has a new album? - Yeah, silly! - No wait, I've read about that, it's... - "Double Fantasy" - "Double Fantasy" - It's amazing. It's really real. - It's flawless, really. Flawless. I know. I came all the way from Hawaii just to get his autograph. You should buy it. You should buy it and ask John to sign it. Yeah, sure. I will. He'll love it. - Hey, Jude, um... we were going, right? - Yeah... Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry, I'm Mark. Mark Chapman. I'm here to meet John Lennon. After awhile I left and walked over towards Broadway. I wanted to buy the new John Lennon album. It wasn't cheap, that's for sure. But I didn't give a damn. I get so happy when I think about that record - even now. I used to love the Beatles. I still love the Beatles. I swear to God, I really do. Sometimes I felt like the Beatles' music was made just for me. Hey! Alright, you got it! See that? Right there, where they're standing. Look familiar? - Oh my God. - Yeah. That's here! That's here! That's right over there! He stood right here! Look, if Yoko was over here. Pretty neat, huh? You guys are pathetic. We were gonna go see the movie... a movie, later. Hello? - Do you wanna come? - What? We were gonna go see a movie later. Do you want to come? No, no. I hate the movies. They're phoney. So goddamn phoney. Look at the actors - always clutching their foreheads breathing deep. They know they're acting, how good they are, and goddammit they're gonna show you. No, I can't stand it. It drives me insane. Drives me absolutely insane, if you wanna know the truth. OK. I know. I can take you gals to dinner. I mean, if you want? You like Japanese food? I've been to Japan. - I've been all over the world. - OK. Great, it's settled then. I'll take you gals to dinner at a Japanese food restaurant. My treat. - Alright. - Bye-bye. Don't forget. I waited, and I waited, for what felt like forever. But nothing happened. No-one came. I thought about waiting for that girl, the fan. But I knew she wouldn't come back. No-one ever does anything they say they will. And it was so cold. It was scary. I felt like I was disappearing every time I crossed the street. I'm too vulnerable for a world full of pain and lies and phoniness. There were these 2 obvious homosexuals in the room next door, and they were loud, and drunk and laughing, like whatever they were doing was the funniest goddamn thing in the world. I swear to God, I was the only normal bastard in that lousy dump. Help me, Devil. Kill them. Go over there and shoot them. ...Don't! Sleep tight, you bastards! You stole my fucking virginity. Do you understand? I wouldn't fuck you with a dog's dick! Not with a dog's dick! You ugly bitch! You cunt! I can't take this shit any more. - Taxi! - No, I will not. Understand me? I will not fuck you with a dog's dick. Take me some place nice. A nice hotel. Not too expensive or anything. Just nice. No problem. Hey, do you wanna stop and have a drink with me or something? - I got plenty of money. I'll buy. - No. No drinking tonight. - You like rock 'n roll? - Yeah. - Do you like Beatles' music? - Yeah. Well, I have to tell you something. I'll just have to blurt this out. ...I was at a recording session tonight. With John Lennon and Paul McCartney. They recorded an album together. They recorded for 3 hours straight. ...I'm the engineer. They met me, and they told me how much they like my work. To me, it's just so ecstatic to think that John Lennon and Paul McCartney would tell me how great they think my work is. You know, from them to me ...everything, it all just... ...I just had to tell you that. The cabbie told me that Jimmy Carter stayed at that hotel. And when he was president, too. He told me he did it to show everyone what a regular guy he was. I thought that was hysterical. The President staying at a regular hotel like this. That cracked me up. I had a little bit of dough, but not so much that I could stay in a place like that forever. Goddamn money. It always ends up depressing the hell out of you. Very soon, he will leave his home. If he stays outside and is not frightened by his shadow... that will be my sun. - But if his shadow frightens him? - 6 more weeks of winter! I've got to keep that castle snowbound. Please Sir, don't take him away. Not yet. When she gives me a certain sign, I know it's my fight too. What sign, Sir? - Steve. How you doing? - I'm doing fine, and how'd you know my name? You don't remember me? I was here a little over a month ago. From Hawaii? - I was here to see John Lennon? - Nope. Okay, well, uh... Last time, I didn't do it. Get to meet him, I mean. But I'm back. Do you know is he, uh... - Is he home? - Actually I think he might be out of town. - You mind if I wait and see? - Be my guest. But, uh, step back a bit. I gave a great deal of myself to what John Lennon had said, and sung about, and told us all to do. His music and his lyrics provided me with everything I needed. What I really love about a song, or a book ...if it's really good. I mean if the writer is really talking to you. Then you feel like they're this really great friend of yours and you can just call them up on the phone whenever you want. Everyone needs something. To find something. Everyone is cracked and broken. You have to find something to fix you. To give you what you need. To take you away and make you whole. I'm getting it for the articles. Anything else? Yes. This. I'm gonna be meeting him soon. I went and read that article on John Lennon. It said all he ate was sushi and sashimi and "Hershey's" bars with almonds. And that he smoked French cigarettes. And when they asked if the Beatles would ever get back together, he said just because a whole pile of dummies missed it the first time, he shouldn't have to be crucified again. He shouldn't have to walk on water again. He said he shouldn't have to define the fish for the multitudes again. He really said all that. And here he was living this sumptuous life. Imagine no possessions. The bastard had millions. Yachts, farms, countryside estates and who the hell knows what else? He turned his back on everyone. That was a tremendous confirmation for me. I started to think maybe I should get a woman for the night. In case I wouldn't be able to again for a long time. Do you have anybody exotic? A woman from another country. I don't want her to talk much. I want her to be quiet. I'll tip her well if she doesn't talk. You don't have to be nervous. I'm not a weirdo. I just wanted to be in the company of a woman tonight. I think tomorrow will be a very rough day for me. You want, you want a massage? Take off your dress and get into bed. Can we put on the radio? I like your dress. I like the colour. Some things are hard to remember. I'm thinking now, when the woman left I just wanted to kill myself. I thought about just throwing myself out the goddamn window. I'd like to make a collect call to Hawaii. OK, sir, one moment please. Who shall I say is calling? - Holden Caulfield. One moment, Mr Caulfield. - Hey, is that you? - Hi. - Hey. I know I said I wasn't gonna call but uh, well, you know me I'm always changing my plans. It's OK, I'm glad you called. Really glad. - You sound like you're doing OK. - I am, I'm OK. I finished your book. Very good. - Did you like it? - It was good. It was really good. It was very sweet. It reminds me of you. The way your mind works. I like it, too. How was your party? The one that you were going to on Saturday night? It was fun. I'm sorry I didn't wish you a happy party. I just wasn't thinking about things like that before I left. It's OK, I know. I know you. You're my husband. It's getting so late here. I just... I can't seem to get to sleep! Well I just got into bed and I'm reading my bible. Maybe you should try working on your problems one at a time. Maybe the first one should be getting back with Christ again. And after that you can just ask him for his help with the others. Hello? Yes, I agree. My little bible is on the nightstand right now. Good. That's good. Remember what I told you... the night before I left? Sort of, I do. I was asleep. I told you that I loved you. I love you very much. - More than anyone else. - I love you, too. You're my gemstone. Goodbye, Gloria. OK. OK. Goodbye. I'm going to kill John Lennon. This isn't like last time. Something's going to happen. This is happening. That morning, everything had changed. It just felt different. And I knew... I knew in my bones I would never see my hotel room again. I laid out the few possessions I had managed to keep. Just all the things that meant something. A letter of commendation for my work with Vietnamese children. My passport, and a couple of photographs from my trip around the world. What was left of my life. It was all so that when they came, the Police or whoever it was going to be... when everyone would want to know who I was. Who I had become. And maybe if I found myself unable to speak or something... this would tell them who I was before. I am... Holden. I'm going now. Becoming something new. Hey, listen. You know those ducks? The taxi. She had a teeny voice. And the prostitute with the green dress... This isn't like last time. The old man carried my bag. No, this is different. I can feel it. Something will catch me. This is not a coincidence. I'll be in a big field of rye. Good morning. Do you know if John Lennon's gonna come out today? I've got his new album here. I was hoping to get his autograph. I can't help you. Look, I understand. I know how it is. I've been waiting for 2 days already. I really wanted to meet him, y'know? I'm not the regular door-man here, so I don't know much about John Lennon. I knew it... I knew it! I knew it was something like that! You see, this is my second time here. Last time I thought I'd met all the door-men. Thought I'd met them all. Well, sure, I thought I'd seen them all, but... I've been waiting a long time. Look. He may have left earlier, before I came on. Somebody told me he left. - John Lennon? - Uh-huh. - John Lennon? You're serious, you're not joking? - No. Do you know where he went? Do you know when he's gonna be back? - Do you? Do you? - No, I don't. No. Thank you. He's here. It says it was a Monday. A Monday and all... pretty near Christmas. This is it! It's real this time. This is not a coincidence. I'm going to be with you, Holden. In the rye. I'll just disappear into the ink of the book. No, that won't happen. That's a non-reality. But something will... I'll go into the field... Something is going to happen... Like in the womb. Maybe I'll be deaf. A deaf mute, and I'll never speak again. I tried to be a good person... I can see it. It's all over, Holden. I'm taking a stand now. And the whole world will know. A man with stillness and blackness all around him. A man who would no longer do anything for anybody any more. A man refusing to have anything to do with the world. And the world would never intrude. - Hey, buddy! - What? - You see him?! - What? - Mr Lennon! He just came inside! He just came in. You didn't see him? I guess it wasn't meant to be. - I'll just have to keep waiting. - Yeah, you wait him out. It's OK. Don't worry. (It's still OK). It wasn't meant to happen. When the time is right, it'll happen. It won't be long. Some very serious thoughts came into my mind, of leaving... abandoning the idea of going back to the hotel, checking out... getting a cab to the airport, and flying the hell out of there. I would talk myself out of it and then say "Go, now! Before it gets a hold of you again." Hey, Mark. Don't make it bad. Hey, Jude! - Do you... - Do you mind? I wanna sit facing. Oh, you wanna sit here. So I can keep my eye out. - Just in case. - Sure. - So, the other night... - Oh, no, no, no... - Jeri and I were waiting for you. - Oh. And then she wanted to go. But, of course, I wanted to stay. And then, I wanted to go, and we were gonna go. As we were leaving a cab pulled up, it was John! Anyway, he talked to us for a bit. Jeri bummed one of his cigarettes. It was great. I've read they're French. So... do you like New York? - I guess that's a "no". - Oh, no, no, no, it's OK. It's just...I mean... kind of dirty sometimes. It's nothing like Hawaii! Hawaii is... Hawaii is amazing. - I'll bet. - Hawaii changed my life. It really did. When I first got out there, I was... You know, I thought I was a dud. Hawaii saved my life. You know, I'd really like to go there some time. But I don't think... No, no, no. Don't ever say that! Don't ever say anything like that. What? You can do anything. If you set your mind to it, you can do anything! The Human mind... The Human mind is an incredible thing. Once it's mind is made up, it can do anything. - Then maybe I'll go. - No, not maybe... you've got to decide in your mind that you will. - OK, I will. - You've got to say it. You've got to know it. Say it. Someday I will go to Hawaii. Very good. Very good. It's like I told my mother, before I left... I knew I was gonna do something big. I just didn't know if it was gonna be good or bad. What do you mean? What do you mean by that? Do you wanna go some place with me? You and me... we could just leave, right now. Just go, just get out of here! - Right now, what do you say? - Right now? - We can't just leave right now. - Why the hell not? Yeah, we could... plan a day trip or something. - You know, she took me out the way there. - No, no, no. Not like that. Then there'd be cabs, and elevators and all that crap! We have to go now! I... I have stuff to do. Just forget it. I don't even know why the hell I said it. We're not gonna go anywhere. But you should remember me. You should. Hey, shouldn't we be closer? How come you never wait inside? Sometimes it's good not to be right there. You know, there when they come out. Some of the best times, when John is leaving Central Park... there's this coffee shop that he goes to. Shows that he's real. See that guy right there? That's John's assistant, Frederic. - Who, him? - Yeah. Frederic! God dammit! Well I hope he comes out in focus this time. Last time was a little blurry. You know, I got a darkroom. I tried to catch him but he saw me, he went inside. He got away. This is my friend. He's a Beatles fan from Hawaii. Oh, hey, Hawaii! Cool, man. How's it hanging? - Paul. - Paul's a photographer. - Trying to catch somebody? - That fellow is John Lennon's assistant. Oh, Freddy. You should meet him. I'm just here to get John Lennon's autograph. So, you gonna do any touristy stuff? Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm not gonna do that. - No. - You know why they call it the building of Dakota? Because when it was first built in the 1800's... there was nothing up here. It was just farm. And they were like "If you lived up here you might as well be living in Dakota." I don't even think there was a South or North Dakota yet. Just territory. They also shot "Rosemary's Baby" here. The movie? No, the baby. Yeah the movie! They shot it here in the "Dakota". Really? - I thought you didn't like movies? - Some I like. Some are OK. "The Wizard of Oz" is wonderful. "Rosemary's Baby" is pretty good I guess. It's not too phoney. I didn't like that movie. Why? Because it says everyone who lives in the "Dakota" worships Satan? Well, yes. Also because it's very slow moving. Nothing happens until the end... Yeah, Jude, but that's Polanski. - Yeah, well, then I don't... - Wait a minute... that's the guy, Charles Manson, killed his wife. - Right? - Sharon Tate. - Yeah, she was pregnant too. - And beautiful. "Helter Skelter" John Lennon lives in a building where a film about Satan coming to Earth... and the director whose wife and child were killed because of a song John Lennon Oh my God. This is not a coincidence. Today's the day. Today is the day. That's a way of looking at it! No coincidence. Hey, uh, where did you say you were from again? - What? - You don't sound like you're from Hawaii. What? He knows. He knows. Get him! - Why would you ask me that? - Take it easy. I was only asking. Why would you ask me something like that? You don't sound like you're from Hawaii Why would you say something like that? - Why would you ask me? - Forget it, man! Forget it! It's just a question, man! Did you see him? Did you see that? I gotta go. I should probably go. Hello. Hi, Sean. Is he your friend? Oh, he's a Beatles' fan from Hawaii. - Hoping to get John's autograph. - It's nice to meet you. This is Helen, Sean's Nanny. And this is the little heartbreaker. This is Sean. Hi, Sean! I flew all the way across the ocean, from Hawaii, and it's an honour to meet you. Mr Lennon. You'd better take care of that runny nose... you wouldn't wanna get sick in this Christmas. - Well it's time for us to go. - Bye-bye. Wave goodbye to Jude. Bye, you. See you soon. I hope you get your autograph. Have a good day. - John and Yoko must be so proud. - Yeah. Well, I hope you get your record signed, and I hope you listen to it... You're not gonna leave yet, are you? We haven't even seen John. Yeah, I know. But it was good seeing you again. I gotta go. - Thanks, but you should stay. - I'd love to, but I can't. - Then stay. - No, I'm tired. - Wait, wait. - I really should get home. Just a little bit longer. I know he's gonna come out, I know it. I know it. - Maybe some other time. - But I know he's gonna come out. - He's got to. You know? - I'm sorry, I can't. - Please? - Good luck. Please? Wait. I said "wait"! It's over. It was like this crazy stage had been set up... and all the actors were coming and going. I was merely an image. A tin man playing the Beatles' fan. Playing an autograph seeker. And underneath I was a boiling cauldron of rage. But no-one could tell a goddamn thing. Soon all the other actors would leave, and I would be all alone. I guess it's down to just us die hard Beatle-holics, huh? Listen, about my behaviour earlier... It's just I was told you can never be too careful in New York City. I really am sorry. - It's alright. It's fine. - Thank you. Thank you. I didn't want to be waiting out here all by myself. What the hell? You start a conversation with a guy, and out of nowhere you get hostile. I'm just testy I guess. I've been waiting out here for 3 days. Great. Maybe it's all those stories I've heard. You know, you never know who you're talking to. You're gonna bend your album there. Nobody's gonna steal that here. Hey, Jose! How are you? You remember me? Yes, you're from Hawaii. John Lennon, right? - That's me, the Beatles' fan. - All that way, again? Do you know Paul? Paul, do you know Jose? Yeah, I know him. That's the guy who dresses in the maintenance uniform, sneaks into my building and takes pictures. Shame on you. These are private individuals. - Did you know he makes money from this? - No! - Sure. - Who they pay for? John Lennon, obviously. Yoko, too. Gilda Radner. Roberta Flack. Lauren Bacall. Paul Simon. That's so strange. You know how... when you see people for the first time, even though you know you've seen them before, it's... and then John Lennon must be the most famous person in the world... and I've never seen him! Do you remember what I told you last time? Do you remember? "I was definitely going to meet John Lennon." That's what I said. Definitely. - I said "definitely". - I remember. I'm back. I flew all the way back, I've spared no expense, I'm ready. I've got his new album here. I've even got a new pen. Great. You got your book! This isn't just a book. This is everything. Never read it. Was supposed to. It's about some kid, right? - Yeah, Holden Caulfield. - What happens? This young fellow... he leaves school, he runs away... and goes on this 3 day journey through Manhattan, in a sense, to find himself. But he doesn't find anything but a bunch of phoniness... What makes it so great? I mean that's it? How does it end? It doesn't matter how it ends. He's in a mental institution, and... he's...telling us this story. That's where he's talking to us, in retrospect. - Just... just read it. - Yeah. John coming out? There he is! Sorry, Sir, but your limo has yet to arrive. What are you waiting for? There he is! Have you got a pen? Thanks. Is that all you want? - Yeah, thanks. - Are you sure? That's all? Yeah, that's all. - Thanks, John. - You're welcome. That was really him. He spoke to me. You know he wasn't real. - Looks like you scored big time! - Wow, he put the date on it and everything! Big stars don't usually don't put the dates on things, do they? When they sign them? - No, I don't think they do. - Wow, this is really really unique. Yeah, I'm saying now what you got to do is get it framed. - You... you were taking pictures? - Right here. Did you take one of me and John? Did you? Did you take one of me and John?! I think I might've! Oh my God, I'd do anything for that picture. - I'd give you 50 dollars for it. - OK, man. Calm down. Can I get it tonight? Come on, I have to have it tonight. I have to! I don't know about tonight. I live in Jersey, it's kinda far. Well how about tomorrow? I'll meet you right here and I'll give you 50 dollars for it. I swear to God I will. Yeah, OK. Then say it. Say it. Come on, say it, "tomorrow". Yeah, tomorrow, I'll meet you here. And I'll give you 50 dollars for the photo of John Lennon. Wait until they see this back home! I dunno how they're gonna believe it... - but they'll have to! - I guess so. Hey, Jose, look what I got. You see that? Very nice, congratulations! - You did it. - Thank you. I knew it, I knew it. You remember? Good for you. Hey, Fred, check this out! This guy came all the way from Hawaii and got John to sign his album. Check it out! Congratulations, man. That's great. - Hey, thanks for stopping! - Do you know when they'll be back? Take it easy, Jose. They have to come back tonight, right? What time do you think they will? It's hard to say. If they just went to dinner they'll be back in about an hour... but if they went to the studio, then they could be gone all night. - OK. - I'm thinking they probably went to the studio. In fact, I'm sure of it. So... congratulations. Good night. - Don't leave yet. - Why not? They could be back any minute! What if John forgot something? What if I'm gonna go? Don't... don't... Look, they'll be back before midnight. I know it. Look. I'm coming back tomorrow, with your photo, alright? Good. You got a real primo autograph from John Lennon. Go get some rest. - Just a little longer, please? - I'm going home! I know I flew off the handle earlier, you just can never be too careful, y'know? - It's OK. - You were right! You were right! Take the autograph and go! I'm not from Hawaii. I'm from Georgia, originally... I grew up in a suburb just outside of Atlanta. Decatur, Georgia. - That's great, man. - I should've said something earlier... - I guess it was the southern accent, huh? - Yeah that's it. It was the southern accent. Come on, come on, come on. Wait with me. Wait with me. Just wait a little while. No. Just you and me. I know, I'll take the pictures this time. If you have a camera, you won't be able to shoot him! He has to stay. Get him to stay! If you're taking pictures, you can't pull out a gun! I'll take your picture with John Lennon! I bet you never had that before, huh? - No, I didn't. Hey, good night. - He'll be back before midnight! I know it! I know he will! Hey, what if you never see him again? What if he goes to Spain or something? What if something happens to him? I can see it... he was sitting on the sofa, and knowing what almost happened. Knowing that you could have done it. Do it, you liar. You had your album signed, just go. Get in the next taxi and just go, go, go, go, go! Don't do it. That's not what we're here for! He signed your record, and he was nice. Put the date on it and everything. He was kind. But I wanna kill him. He's mine. I want him. Help me, Devil. Give me the power. You have to, have to, have to, have to. I want to. God, no! God, no! You're nobody, you're nothing! He wasn't phoney. Just get in the taxi. You coward. You phoney. You got your autograph... Go home, frame it. Put it on the wall. Put it on the wall! Don't listen to them. There's no place like home. Come on. Come on. The phoney must die, says the catcher in the rye. I will do it. If you give me the opportunity, I will do it. Yes. Mr Lennon? That's all I wanna tell you about. We have arrested Mark David Chapman... for the homicide of John Lennon. Today, multitudes mourn the shocking and untimely death of a legend. The tragic slaying of John Lennon spawned an unimaginable sense of grief among those of every age. Mark David Chapman, the alleged killer of John Lennon... has been taken to "Bellevue Hospital"... where he will remain under close watch, as he has known to have attempted suicide before. I could tell you about how they... took me down to the police station, and paraded me in front of the media and all... and how they put me in this goddamn place, and how... things got really crazy for awhile, but I'm not interested in any of that stuff anymore. It's not important. I think John Lennon, personally for me, stood as a symbol of leave and peace on the planet. I think of John Lennon as an artist, and he belongs to my generation. And I don't understand why he was killed. They keep asking me... if I really think I am the catcher in the rye. It's such a stupid question. It's dumb. I swear to God it is. I know no matter what anybody says, I have the strength and knowing. The paragraphs and sentences of that book were flowing through my brain... and entering my blood, and flowing to my thoughts, my actions. My very soul is breathing between the pages of "The Catcher in the Rye". I was there for 3 days. And it was a Monday... pretty near Christmas. In New York City. And now I'm here. Sitting right here... talking... to you. Transcribed by VincePirez (vincepirez@googlemail.com) |
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