I have a name for our movie.
What name, boss?
Mae Nak Liver's Apes.
Huh?
So you want to remake Mae Nak?
Of course!
Mae Nak...
What does that have to do with apes?
Sheesh! I said, "Mae Nak Liver's Apes."
Nothing to do with apes, you idiot!
Can't you understand Thai?
Oh.
"Mae Nak Riverscape."
- Right.
- Okay.
So what does it have to do with the river?
Well, why does it always have to be
Mae Nak Phra Khanong?
Don't you find it boring?
Why can't we come up with
a new idea for Thai movies?
So Mae Nak Riverscape then?
That's right. Mae Nak Liver's Ape.
I'm going to make a new history
for Thai horror.
-Make history?
-Yeah.
How?
How the hell would I know?
I'm not a director.
I'm the boss, you idiot!
How is it going to change history?
Ask that asshole over there.
He's the director!
Hey, it's all on you, Tukkae.
Mae Nak Riverscape. Got it.
So do we have to film
by the actual river?
Are you retarded?
What's the damn title?
Of course, Mae Nak Riverscape
has to be filmed at the Mekong River.
It's not Mae Nak Chao Phraya, is it?
You big dummy!
Got it. Yes, sir.
"NO TITLE"
WRITTEN BY MANA JITMANKONG
EXT. CHIANG KHAN - DAY
What's your name, boy?
My name is Tukkae, sir.
Tukkae?
What the hell kind of name is that?
So you like painting?
-Yes, sir.
-You want to help me paint?
Yes, sir.
You can start by cleaning all my brushes.
Okay, sir.
Here, use this water can.
Master Pong, when is this movie
going to premiere?
Soon, Miss Pang.
That's right. Soon.
HANUMAN VS. 7 ULTRAMAN
Hello, Master Pong.
Hello, hello.
Hi, Mother.
Hello, ma'am.
Let's go, Tukkae.
But I'm not done yet.
Go on.
I'll finish it myself.
You like painting, but what do you want
to do when you get older, Tukkae?
I want to be a billboard artist
like Master Pong.
Why do you want to paint billboards?
So he can watch movies for free!
Is that so?
That's right, ma'am. I've been painting
for a while now,
so the owner lets me watch movies
for free.
I get to see them for free too.
Mmm.
Where did I put my key?
Anyway, what do you want to do
when you grow up, Pang?
I want to be a movie star!
Really?
Why do you want to be a movie star, dear?
So I can see myself painted
on a giant billboard someday!
If you become a movie star,
I'll paint your billboard myself!
You have to make sure
it's the biggest one ever, okay?
Definitely. The biggest one ever!
You promise?
I promise!
HANUMAN VS. 7 ULTRAMAN
PETCH CHIANG KHAN
Damn, no one to pick on today.
-Yeah, boring!
-Totally.
Look, it's Tukkae!
Get him boys!
Bust a cap in his ass!
Those guys like to bully Tukkae
because he doesn't have a mother.
That's okay.
He still has his Grandma Sri.
- Grandma Sri!
- Yes?
- Ms. Pao is back!
- Okay!
Hurry up
and finish your dinner!
What the hell are you picking at it for?
Grandma.
Why aren't we having dinner
at Miss Pang's house today?
They were just asking to be polite.
But that means you need
to mind your manners
and know your place.
I'm just the maid.
There's no way I can sit at the same table
as the boss. It's not proper.
But I'm not their servant, Grandma.
Fool!
You are my grandson!
And another thing,
when you play with Miss Pang,
you see she doesn't seem
to care where you come from,
but you need to mind your manners
and be aware of your proper place.
Do you understand what that means?
I don't understand.
That's why you got a stupid name! Tukkae!
Grandma?
Now what?
Why am I named after a gecko?
How would I know?
Your mother was the one
who picked it for you.
Where is she now?
I've told you many times
never to ask me about that.
But all the kids at school make fun of me,
calling me "No-Mother Boy."
I just want them to know
that I have a mother too.
I don't know
where your mother is now.
All I know is, when you were born,
she left you with me.
I asked who your father is,
and she didn't even know.
Since then, she left and never came back.
You really want to know
why she named you after a gecko?
Why?
Because she hates geckos!
Now that you know this,
you still want a mother?
No.
If you're not going to eat,
go wash your plate. Go!
Grandma?
What is it?
Can I please change my name?
What good would that do?
Because my mother hates geckos,
and so do the kids at school.
You don't have to change your name
because I don't hate geckos.
Please don't ever hate me too, Grandma.
Not bad, No-Mother Boy!
Kampol Sae-ter!
I will tell the teacher on you!
Just try it!
Let me borrow these,
so maybe I can be a great artist
like this No-Mother Boy!
Those are my pencils.
I don't want you to use them.
If they can use them,
then why can't I?
Because I won't let you.
Give them to me!
You can't have them!
Give them to me!
You can't have them!
-Give them to me!
-You can't have them!
Meena, you're bleeding!
It's your own fault.
I'm going to tell the teacher!
What are you looking at?
Get back in your seats right now!
What's going on in here?
Teacher, help me please!
You are all nothing but trouble!
Oh, my! Meena!
Blood! I'm going to faint.
Nawarat! Take her to see the nurse.
You! Mana! Let go of Kampol right now!
You won't let go? You won't let go?
Please don't hit him, teacher.
It's making him bite harder.
Let go of him. Did you hear me?
Let go now!
Oh, my! So much blood!
Oh!
You three! Don't just stand there.
Do something!
Shit, Tukkae! Why won't you let me go?
My grandma says
that if a gecko bites you,
you have to wait for lightning to strike
before it'll let you go.
I hope lightning strikes your grandma.
How long will that be?
Mr. Tukkae, sir.
Please let me go. I give up.
Say you're sorry now.
What the hell did he say?
He said to say you're sorry.
Can't you hear him?
Of course I can!
He's talking into my back.
Mr. Tukkae, sir. I am sorry.
I apologize for everything.
You sure?
Yes.
Now you know!
Fat-ass!
Blood!
THE ROWDY YEARS
So lovely whenever you are near
Your heart
Sweeter than anyone anywhere
To show how I feel, I do not dare
Can you commence our love affair?
Just a whisper will
Make my spirit soar
Oh, how you make my heart pound
The sight of you sets
My soul spinning round
The fear we can never be
Sends me crashing to the ground
Oh, love, show me the way
Build me a bridge to her heart
SINGING LESSONS
That I may find a way to know her
Never think to part
Dawn to day
Dusk to evening
My love will endure
For 50 satang,
you can watch it for three minutes.
Are any of these ViewMasters
for sale?
No.
You want one?
What about you, Tukkae?
Yes.
Uncle, you really won't sell one?
I'm sorry. They're not for sale.
What about for 100 baht?
Time's up, kids.
Too bad!
Cap guns are five baht each.
Tukkae, come look at this!
What is it?
What kind of candy is this?
Looks so yummy.
They're called jingjok candy.
Come on, kids. Time to go.
Mommy, I want some jingjok candy.
What is it?
No, those have artificial coloring.
It will give you a stomach ache.
But I want to try it.
I bought you fruit.
You can have that when we get home.
Grandma,
can I have four baht?
Forget it!
Tukkae!
Where are you going?
I'm going to collect some bottles to sell.
Can I help?
Sure! Whatever we make,
I'll split with you.
Then we can go buy some jingjok candy.
Really?
For real!
Let's go then!
And where are you going to go sell these?
At Uncle Chai's shop.
Oh, you're gonna be rich.
So what are you going to do
with all that cash?
Tukkae is going to buy a cap gun.
And jingjok candy too.
Yes! Let's go.
Be careful then.
Look, Tukkae! More bottles.
Altogether, that's four baht.
-Only four baht, Uncle?
-But there are so many bottles.
Fish sauce bottles are 25 satang each.
The rest, I can't use.
Take them back with you.
How much is the cap gun?
Five baht.
For four baht,
you can have this one.
Plus some free caps.
It looks cool. And it's cheap too!
Can I have it for three baht?
I don't need caps.
Why would you want a cap gun
without any caps?
It's okay. I want to save some money
to buy you some jingjok candy.
It's okay. You get your caps.
I can always buy candy another time.
Our gang doesn't allow any girls.
Why not?
It's a rule.
What a silly rule!
You have to have a gun to be
in this gang. Do you have one?
I'll go buy one tomorrow.
But you're a girl.
These guns are too loud for you.
If you can stand it, so can I.
We'll have to have a test.
What test?
Shut it!
If you can really stand a gunshot,
then we'll let you be the first girl
in our gang.
What kind of test?
So Miss Pang isn't back yet?
No, sir.
Tukkae!
Come play with us!
Grandma, has Miss Pang come back yet?
Yes,
but she won't be coming
around here anymore.
Why?
Her father was transferred
back to Bangkok for work.
The whole family is going with him.
I just finished helping them pack.
They leave tomorrow,
so whatever you gotta do,
do it now, Tukkae.
I don't know when she'll ever be back.
HAPPY NEW YEAR
Great. Watermelon again!
That's what I got last year.
Don't worry, boss.
Last year, I got a banana.
Shit, not again!
Okay, children, listen up!
Meena is leaving our class,
so this is the last time
you'll get to see her.
Why is that, teacher?
Her family has to move back to Bangkok.
Therefore, before she comes in,
I want everyone to write
a farewell message
to Meena on the chalkboard.
I'll be right back.
This is your last chance, Big Ter.
What the hell are you talking about?
To tell Meena that you like her.
Just write it on the blackboard!
-Yeah.
-How the hell do you know I like her?
Everyone knows!
That's bullshit.
I don't have a crush on her.
Tukkae is the one who is in love with her.
Yeah. That's why you were always
trying to get between them.
Not true!
Really?
Has everyone written farewell to Meena?
Not us.
And why is that?
We want to sing her a song instead.
May we?
Really?
What are you going to sing for her?
It's called "The Promise,"
written by Big Ter here.
Let me hear it, please.
One, two...
Before we part, I promise you
A solemn pledge before we meet again
A wave of the hand
A promise from the heart
Because love can never be severed
Its ties will last forever
Hey! You forgot your cart.
Before we part, I promise you
A solemn pledge before we meet again
A wave of the hand
A promise from the heart
Because love can never be severed
Its ties will last forever
All the good things
That linger in memories
Though we are apart
You will always be in my heart
Don't forget our promises
For our hearts are strong
Always striving to do good
In this world
HAPPY NEW YEAR
Tukkae!
Miss Pang's already left.
DON'T FORGET ME, NAWARA Miss Pang asked me
to give this to you before she left.
Looks like everything worked out
between you two.
INT. THE PALACE - NIGH Pang!
How about a drink?
Ple!
Kheng.
Yeah?
Have you ever wanted to be a director?
I've thought about it,
but there's no way.
Why not?
To be a director,
you have to tell a good story.
I don't know how to do that.
So if you want to be a director,
the first thing you need to ask yourself
is, "Can I tell a good story?"
What if I think I can do that?
You think you can?
What story would you tell?
Again?
This time, it's too much.
How is that?
She kicked me out of the house.
But that's your house.
You were there
before your father married that bitch.
But he left her everything when he died.
How the hell did that happen?
How could your father care
about that bitch more than you?
Maybe I wasn't such a good daughter.
Forget it. What do you need from me?
Can I crash at your place for a bit?
Okay.
Will your boyfriend mind?
I just broke up with him.
You came at the right time, Pang.
Get drunk with me!
Come celebrate my return to single life!
If you say no,
then don't bother coming to stay with me.
Deal?
Okay.
That's what I'm talking about!
Let me buy the next round for you ladies.
On today's edition
of Guess My Life,
I have an individual here who may not be
completely sane for you judging viewers.
What's your name?
My name is not important.
Happiness is more important.
Yes,
the name is not important.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have someone who likes to spray.
Spray paint, that is.
Everywhere. Public places,
buses, bus stops, public toilets,
- and...
- the walls of a temple,
people's fences.
If I see a pristine wall,
I can't help myself...
You didn't know her?
Then how did she end up here?
Oh...
It's useless.
You go back, Tukkae.
I'll wait for the mechanic here.
Look over there.
Stop the car, please.
I saw that she was blind drunk.
She was getting soaked, so I
brought her back here to get changed.
So did you...
You asshole! I'm not like you.
You chicken shit!
But she probably
thought you were going to.
That's why she smacked you in the face.
Just bad luck.
I have no idea
how I ended up at that house.
I don't even remember
getting into Ake's car.
Maybe he drugged us?
Do you think that's what happened?
Definitely.
I've never been that wasted before
in my life.
I remember looking for you.
The next thing I remember
is the security guard waking me up.
I don't know
when I passed out in the bathroom.
Those guys must have been
Ake's gang for sure.
Should we go to the police?
Forget it. I went to get
checked out by the doctor.
He said nothing happened to me.
You want me to send some
Army boys to rough them up?
You're going to tell your father?
No way! But I can tell Pued and Padd
to go beat the shit out of them.
GHOST ODYSSEY
Tong,
what did you think of that movie?
I didn't enjoy it.
But everyone else
was laughing the whole time.
That's other people, not me.
You were asking my opinion, right?
So are you making your movie, Tukkae?
I'm not making a movie.
I'm making a story.
Story for your movie?
That's right.
You said it yourself,
if I'm going to direct,
I have to have a story to tell.
Oh,
about the art students?
Yes, it's about my friends.
And how are you going to tell this story?
I'm going to take these photos
and use them to build a new story.
A whole new story?
Right.
A teen movie?
A romance.
Oh!
So how long do you plan
to work at Jom's shop?
I don't know. A while, I guess.
I don't feel like thinking too far ahead.
Excuse me. I want to rent costumes
for a commercial shoot.
Who should I talk to?
You can leave a name card.
Someone will get back to you.
Okay.
Here you go.
Nawarat Meesukhon?
That's right.
Do you remember me?
You are...
It's me, Pang!
Pang? Meena Ruksasuk?
I got a degree in pharmacy at Sirirat.
Pharmacy?
Why are you working in commercials?
My boyfriend is an assistant director.
He sees that I like to dress up,
so he put me in charge of the wardrobe.
What about you?
Have you been working there long?
Not quite a month.
My friend works there.
She invited me.
I'm just killing time while I wait.
Wait for?
I'm going back to school soon.
Where are you going to study?
Chicago.
Chicago?
Mmm-hmm.
For my master's degree in interior design.
I studied decorative arts
at Silpakorn University.
Wow, what a cool life, Meena!
It's not a big deal.
You probably didn't know it,
but I was little jealous of you.
Yeah, but if you had known me
when I got older, you wouldn't be.
Well, anyway,
I'm so happy to see you again.
Me too.
You want to pitch a movie project?
Let's see what you've got.
I have some slides and a soundtrack.
Slides and a soundtrack?
Is that all?
You've got guts, young man.
But that's not enough.
Making films is much more
than just putting on
a slideshow with tape-recorded music.
The problem here is,
we don't have a clear idea
of what you want to do.
You should go back
and write everything down,
explaining what the story is about.
You can write it as a treatment.
What's a treatment?
Hmm?
What's a treatment?
Are you kidding me?
You want to make a movie,
but you don't know what a treatment is?
I don't know, sir.
This is the best treatment
we have ever read.
Take it home with you.
Use it as an example.
NING WAI GORN SOR SORN WAI
Here you go!
What is it?
My sister's old typewriter.
She doesn't need it anymore,
so you can use it.
But I don't know how to type.
Man, you have got some nerve!
Because I can't type?
How is that being cocky?
You can't even type,
and you want to be a director.
So, if I want to direct,
I need to know how to type?
How are you going to write a script?
By hand?
You think a studio is going
to read your chicken scratch?
What if I write it and pay someone
to type it up. Wouldn't that be easier?
Sure,
but how the hell are you going
to pay them?
I figured
you wouldn't be coming back.
That's why I put all your stuff here.
You're lucky
I didn't just throw everything away.
Let's go!
Man, I really want to smack
your stepmom in the face.
I don't know why your father
married that bitch.
Me neither.
Tukkae still hasn't left his room?
It's been three weeks,
and he hasn't gone out anywhere.
This time he's serious, guys.
Where did he get the foolish idea
to become a director anyway?
Shit,
don't you remember that old
Petch Chiang Khan cinema?
When Tukkae took us
to the projector booth,
he even showed us how to change the reels.
I remember,
but this dumbass was asleep
the whole time.
You can't remember?
Of course I remember.
I was just testing to see
if you assholes cared about your friends.
Mmm.
Let me ask you guys something.
You're all in the same class
as Tukkae, right?
Mmm.
How come you all look so much older?
Honestly,
Tukkae had a hard life.
- How's that?
- His family had nothing.
What does that have to do with anything?
Because he's poor,
he grew up slower than the rest of us.
-I see.
-My family had money.
That's why I grew up faster.
So you stuffed your face all day?
- Wait a second.
- Yeah?
Your family must have been
rich too, right?
Watch it, punk!
We did okay. Wouldn't say rich or poor.
Looking at your face,
I would guess more rich than poor.
Not that rich!
-Well, maybe a little bit rich.
-Hold on!
I'm talking about you assholes and
why you look so much older than Tukkae.
Nothing to do with me.
Stop trying to change the subject!
So all you guys come from Chiang Khan?
Is that where you get your shitty manners?
Hold on there!
Are all Chiang Khan kids like this?
You want this glass in your face, bitch?
-I'll do it!
-Calm down, bro!
Don't foul! Don't foul!
Who are you calling a fool, punk?
Not "fool." "Foul." It's a slang term.
"Foul" as in mess up.
Okay, so if someone is playing football
and they dive, is that a foul or a fool?
It's a fall.
That asshole!
I'm gonna shave his goddamn head.
Man, you smoke a lot.
You know his dad died because
of cigarettes?
From cancer?
No, he was crossing the street to buy
a pack when he got hit by a car!
It was more like a highway.
Meena!
-Here, let me help.
-Thanks.
Were they hard to find?
Not really.
This is Tong, the assistant director.
My boyfriend.
-Hello.
-Hi.
Everyone, this is Pang from Theatre,
my old friend from school.
So what about Chicago now?
Nothing happening yet.
I have a few things to sort out first.
- Nikki.
- Yes?
Can I talk to you real quick?
Sure. Just a moment.
What is it?
How would you like to be in a commercial?
Me? In a commercial?
Do you know why
I asked you to write a treatment?
-I don't know.
-I'm too lazy to read a whole script.
You see how thick
some of those things are?
No, thanks!
So did you read mine?
I did.
Finished it in one sitting.
Did you like it?
Well, of course I liked it. I called you
back in for a meeting, didn't I?
-Hello.
-Hello there.
You know, you've got a great script here.
If it were a movie,
I would be the first
in line to buy a ticket.
I would be right behind you.
But...
But what?
But I don't think it's filmable.
What do you mean by "not filmable"?
Like I said, I would watch this movie.
If it was in the cinema,
I would be the first in line.
But as an investor,
it's too risky.
Dramas like this don't make any money.
You're welcome
to try selling it to other studios.
Unfortunately, we have to pass. Too risky.
Her name is Pang, Meena Ruksasuk.
A big up-and-coming model!
Is this for real?
Yeah, it's like something from a movie.
What a strange coincidence.
Don't call it a coincidence.
In the movies, it's called destiny.
Cut!
Pang, we are filming
the birthday party scene next.
Go ahead and change into your next outfit.
Take her to wardrobe
and have makeup give her a touch-up.
Okay.
Can I use the phone?
Go right ahead, dear. I'll be right back.
Yes, sir.
Ple.
I just saw that asshole, Ake.
I don't like the shadows here.
Can I have more light over here?
Sure thing.
We've got a big problem.
What's the matter?
There's a couple of army guys
beating the shit out of Ake.
- Are you serious?
- Hurry!
It looks pretty bad.
Okay, that's enough.
Yo, Pang! See you later!
Done.
Okay, Mr. Movie Critic, what do you think?
I like it.
There you go. The kiss of death!
You like it, so no wonder no one
wants to make Tukkae's movie.
So who did you pitch it to?
I think every studio in Thailand.
Hey.
Even if 100 people say no,
don't feel discouraged.
All you need is for one guy to say yes.
Hell, yeah, bro!
Tukkae, come see this music video quick!
- What music video?
- Just come check it out!
You guys too. Move your asses!
Looks like
your Pang is becoming a big star.
So are you going to clear the air
with her or what?
How am I supposed to do that?
Yeah,
we're not sure
if she even remembers Tukkae.
I don't think we can risk having
someone with no name or experience
directing his first movie for us.
But I do have film experience.
What did you do?
I held the time slate.
You held the slate board?
Oh!
I don't think that's enough.
So what do I have to do
to become a director?
Sell us your script.
Sell it to you?
Yes. Sell it to us first
and work on this film
as the assistant director.
The next movie, you can direct yourself.
By then, we'll know each other better,
and you'll have the right experience.
For the next script you write,
if you still want to be the director,
I think that would be fine.
It's a fair deal.
Do you have a new story?
Come up with a new idea.
You write fast anyway.
Let them have this one.
Work as an assistant, and you'll learn
how to be a director in no time.
So did you finish
reading the script?
Yes.
Do you know who wrote it?
No, there is no name for
the screenwriter anywhere.
I'd like to introduce you to John.
He is going to direct this film.
Hello.
This is Pang, our lead actress,
and Ple, her manager.
Hello, everyone.
John is from New York.
He studied film at NYU.
Yeah, that's right. NYU.
Yeah, so John came back to
Thailand specifically to direct this film.
So you've read the script already?
Yes.
You know, Pang,
I'm certain that, after this movie,
you will be a huge star.
Wow, you're that sure?
I wouldn't have flewed
all the way here if I didn't think so.
I think you mean "flown."
BAAN NAWK
Car coming.
Stop the car! Happy Songkran!
Get the dude in the glasses! Over there!
Hey, Tukkae!
When does your movie start shooting?
I don't know.
You know what? I read in the news
that your Pang is starring in it.
I know.
I told you, it's not a coincidence.
Enough with that bullshit,
Mr. Movie Critic!
This way, please.
First AD!
Yes?
Take our star to makeup.
See you.
This way, please.
Hey, kid,
give me a copy of the script.
Jong, our leading lady
is here to do her makeup.
Hello, Jong.
Have you been waiting long, Ple?
Where did you go?
I was with John.
Excuse me, John? Which scene
would you like for the screen test?
One of the romantic ones.
Really?
But we need to find someone
to play opposite Pang.
Then use Tukkae. He knows the script.
Pang, we're going
to rehearse scene 69 now.
Okay.
You want me to act?
Yeah, just as a stand-in
for the lead actor.
Really? The lead actor?
Yes, you better start practicing
your lines.
Wait. You don't need to practice.
You wrote the damn thing, right?
John, Pang is here.
Okay, Pang, today, don't worry
about getting all your lines right.
I'm just testing camera angles.
-Okay.
-Clear!
This way please, Pang.
Okay.
I have someone here
who will read Puen's lines for you.
Assistant! Come here!
If our two actors are ready, let us know.
Can I have a moment please?
You want me to call Pued and Padd
to take care of him?
What do you think?
No, I don't think that's necessary.
Can we have a minute?
I want to talk to you.
They must be practicing lines, right?
I guess so.
Miss Pang--
I don't want to know
what happened at your house.
I just want to forget all about it.
I want you to forget what happened too.
Forget everything about that night.
Forget that you ever saw me.
But actually, that night--
That night we never met.
We don't know each other.
I don't want to have anything else
to do with you.
Okay, fine.
I'm ready.
- Are you ready?
- Yes.
When I say action,
you two come into frame.
Is the camera ready?
- Ready.
- Lights!
"CLOSER THAN FRIENDS"
Camera!
Rolling!
Action!
Puen, why did you do that?
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it, Prim.
That night,
I was drunk.
- May.
- Yes?
This kid isn't half bad, is he?
Puen, don't you know
how much she loved you?
Miss Pang,
I think that maybe you should--
My name is Prim.
John, can I talk to you for a minute?
Should I say cut, sir?
Obviously.
The assistant
who is reading lines with me...
Yes? What about him?
Would it be okay if he was not around?
Ever?
So no one from Sunny Films
has contacted you at all?
No.
I think you should just go there yourself.
And tell them,
if they're going to fire you like this,
then you want your script back.
I don't think
we can give you back your script.
Why not?
Have a look.
It says so right here
in the contract you signed.
You are an employee.
And the law is on the employer's side.
Frankly, you don't have any right
to get it back.
We don't know
what happened between you and Pang.
We just want everything to end peacefully.
Hey!
EXT. CHIANG KHAN - DAY
LESS SLACK, MORE LIVELY.
PETCH CHIANG KHAN
PONG POSTER
This is the last billboard
that Pong painted for me.
Hello, Uncle Ong.
Pong has lung cancer now.
You have to find someone else
to draw a movie poster.
I'm not doing movies anymore, Uncle Ong.
Really? So what are you doing now?
I'm a cartoonist for a humor rag.
A cartoonist?
How long will you be
staying in town?
I think it will be
for a while, Doctor.
Grandma Sri, look who's here
to see you. It's your grandson.
Hello, Grandma.
It's me, Tukkae.
Tukkae!
-Have you eaten anything yet?
-Not yet.
Why not?
You know the only luck that matters
is having enough to eat.
Excuse me, Tukkae.
I have to do my rounds.
Make yourself at home.
-Tukkae! Have you eaten anything yet?
-Not yet.
Why not?
You know the only luck that matters
is having enough to eat.
Why don't you shoot?
Let the new guy do it.
Tukkae.
If you don't do it,
you can't be in our gang.
Tukkae, let's go home.
I don't want to play
with these little creeps.
Yeah, run along!
We don't want any lady boys
in our gang anyway.
I'll do it.
That's what I'm talking about.
Do it!
Shoot her!
Ladies and gentlemen,
I have had the privilege
of working with many actresses,
but this young lady
is really something special.
Aside from being a great actress,
she is also a gifted singer as well.
If you have a chance to hear her sing,
then I am certain that you
will fall in love with her too.
Please welcome Pang to the stage.
So lovely whenever you are near
Your heart
Sweeter than anyone anywhere
To show how I feel, I do not dare
Can you begin our love affair?
Just a whisper will
Make my spirit soar
Oh, how you make my heart pound
The sight of you sets
My soul spinning round
The fear we can never be
Sends me crashing to the ground
Oh, love, show me the way
Build me a bridge to her heart
That I may find a way to know her
Never think to part
Dawn to day
Dusk to evening
My love will endure
You always said you wanted to make movies
and that, someday, we would show
one of your movies right here.
Don't you remember?
I tried, Uncle Ong.
So now that dream will never come true?
So I heard
you studied art in school?
That's right.
So have you seen that movie
Closer Than Friends yet?
Not yet.
The actress in that one
is amazing.
It's hard to believe
it was only her first movie.
But I heard she got special attention
from the director.
Rumor has it,
the two of them fell in love on set.
CLOSER THAN FRIENDS
- Hello?
- Hello.
May I speak to Miss Pang?
Who is this?
An old friend. My name is Tukkae.
-Pang?
-Hmm?
Do you know someone named Tukkae?
Hello?
Hello, Miss Pang.
Tukkae?
Yes.
Tukkae, Mana Jitmankong?
That's right.
How did you get my number?
It wasn't that hard.
You're quite famous these days.
Oh, please.
Anyway, how long has it been?
How is your Grandma?
Grandma Sri has dementia.
She's staying at the hospital now.
Which hospital?
In Loei.
But she's healthy and happy.
What about Master Pong and Uncle Ong?
Master Pong passed away.
Really?
But Uncle Ong is well.
Is he still running the projectors?
Yes, same as usual.
Unbelievable!
So why are you calling me?
I wanted to say sorry about that day.
Which day?
The day I...
I shot that cap gun at you.
Oh, Tukkae!
I was never mad at you.
Didn't you get my present?
I did.
I still have it.
So you should have known
I was never mad at you.
Thank you very much, Miss Pang.
Look, you can stop calling me
Miss Pang already.
Okay.
Actually, I'm glad you called.
Are you free next week?
Yes.
I want to send you an invitation.
Invitation to what?
TUKKAE
- Hey, is the boss in?
- Yeah, he's upstairs.
- Upstairs?
- Yes.
So how do you know this producer?
I designed a logo for him once.
Another thing,
whenever you write the script,
I want a cat.
-"Cast"?
-"Cat," "cast," same difference,
I just want some big ones.
Do you mean "boobs"?
Watch your mouth!
Kids can't hear that kind of language.
So you want to make a kids' movie?
It's not for kids.
For adults!
We have to give the audience
what they want,
show them something exciting.
But don't be dirty.
But the boobs have to be big?
Why do you keep saying "boobs"?
Don't call them "boobs."
Say "nice lady shapes."
Nice big lady shapes.
They must be big. Otherwise,
the audience won't be interested.
So do you want the leading man
to have big boobs too?
Fuck you!
The lead actor with big boobs?
If I saw that,
it would give me a fucking nightmare!
Are we really going to do this?
What?
Mae Nak Riverscape.
I think it all depends on you
and how good you can make it.
Check this out.
"Pang Meena is a real-life runaway bride.
After the director's wife
showed up uninvited,
waving a marriage certificate
for all the reporters to see."
The press is still waiting out there.
What do you want to do?
Don't answer it.
Maybe it's for work.
I really should have listened to you.
Forget it.
What's done is done. Let's try to move on.
Mae Nak Riverscape?
Yes.
So you have to shoot by a river?
I guess so.
What do you want to do
with all these gifts?
Throw them all away.
Don't you have
a friend named Tukkae?
Yes.
Looks like he got you a gift.
CONGRATULATIONS, MISS PANG
TUKKAE
Tukkae, you realize
that this might be your only chance
to make a movie?
I know.
Do you think it's worth it?
Changing the whole story like this?
Making it a movie meant
for only one person to see?
I'm not sure myself.
You know,
I've worked on a lot of different films.
But this is the one
I've wanted to make the most.
And I've always waited to see
a film like this.
You sure you want to do this?
Yes.
Then get ready to start shooting.
-Really?
-Yeah!
But what about--
Leave the boss to me.
What are you going to tell him?
I'm not telling him nothing.
You think he'd let us keep going?
Just do it.
Movie with No Title,
reel one, scene one, take one.
Mark!
Action!
- Tukkae.
- Yes?
Be careful the paint
doesn't drip outside the lines.
Okay.
Master Pong,
when is this movie going to premiere?
Soon.
That's right. Soon.
Cut!
-I promise I won't forget.
-Good, good.
The boss wants to know
when he can see the script.
We'll send it to him once it's written.
The script is not written yet?
Not yet.
Get ready for the next scene!
Your house is around here?
No, this is Tukkae's home.
The door is locked.
Looks like no one is here.
You've finished half the movie already?
Yes.
Where are the ghosts?
There are none.
And no big boobs either!
You mean "lady shapes," sir.
Same difference.
-Boobs, lady shapes, whatever.
-There aren't any either.
There are only kids running around.
Who's going to want to see this?
So what do you want to do next, sir?
What to do next?
You give me no choice.
If we put an exorcist or girls
with big boobs--
"Shapes," sir. "Lady shapes."
Same difference!
Anyway, that stuff
would fuck up the movie!
-That's right.
-Shut up! No one asked you.
So how long to find the shit?
"Find the shit"?
You dumbass!
Not "find the shit."
I said "finish" it.
The movie!
Oh, I get it. How long to finish it.
So you're going to let us finish it?
Well, you've come this far.
What the hell?
To be honest,
we don't see movies like this anymore.
Let's finish it.
-Hmm.
-Yes, sir.
What is it called?
We still haven't settled on a title yet.
Halfway done and still no title?
If you don't come up with one, I will.
What are you going to call it?
If you are making it like this, then...
Liver Apes Love Story.
- That's right.
- What's a liver ape?
What the hell are you talking about?
You said "liver apes."
Liver Apes Love Story!
Riverscape Love Story.
Yeah!
Okay, that sounds interesting.
Do you like it?
Maybe we should think of other options.
I think it might be a bit too beautiful.
Whatever!
"Too beautiful," my ass!
You're just too dumb to get it.
GOOSEBUMPS
PETCH CHIANG KHAN
So who is Uncle Ong?
He runs the movie projectors.
I see.
Looks like he kept
all of Master Pong's work.
And who is Master Pong?
He was the artist who painted
all these movie billboards.
Hello!
It's me, Pang.
Miss Pang!
The door was open.
Miss Pang,
about that night--
Uncle Ong told me what really
happened the night I got drugged.
You met with Uncle Ong?
I'm so sorry, Tukkae.
It was a big misunderstanding.
It's okay.
But because of me,
you didn't get to make your movie.
It's fine, Miss Pang.
At least you had
a chance to star in that movie.
I never thought you would get this far.
So are you done directing your movie?
No, we're only about halfway done.
What is it about?
It's about love.
Love?
Can you star in my movie?
I don't want to be in showbiz
anymore, Tukkae.
You should find someone else to be in it.
It doesn't have to be me.
But I think it does need to be you.
I'm going for my master's degree soon.
Where?
Chicago.
For how long?
Two or three years.
What if I waited for you?
You'd better not.
It might take longer.
Good luck with your movie.
Miss Pang! Please wait!
I want you to watch what I have so far.
MOVIE WITH NO TITLE
What is this?
It's Tukkae's movie.
Who's that?
I don't know.
Who's there?
It's me, John.
Don't talk to him.
Pang, I'm not here to try
to get you back or make excuses.
I just want to tell you the truth
about what happened.
Pang?
Whatever you have to say, just say it.
I know that I messed up your career,
and I probably ruined your life.
But I didn't mean for it to happen.
I want to make everything better.
How?
This is information about my next project.
It's going to have the biggest budget ever
for a movie made in Thailand.
If you agree to star in it,
I will hold a press conference
and explain that you didn't steal
anyone's husband.
I have a divorce certificate as proof
that I'm telling the truth.
And the reason I'm doing all this
is to show everyone
that I love only you.
So you're going to come back
and make Mae Nak Riverscape with me?
-Yes, sir.
-Why?
Do I really have to answer?
Of course!
I want to hear the reason.
You really want to know?
I really want to know
how an artist like you thinks.
If I say it, you wouldn't believe me.
Goddammit!
Just say it. Tell me, so I can understand.
Hello, boss.
Tukkae, you gotta come with me now.
Where the hell are you going?
I still haven't got your answer yet.
Tukkae, didn't you say
that Pang was moving to Chicago?
That's right.
- Where's the press conference?
- Please welcome Mr. Paisan Sodsai,
owner of Pattana Pictures,
along with the director of the hit
Closer Than Friends,
and the star of that movie,
award-winning actress...
BLOOD OF SUPHAN BURI
...Meena Ruksasuk!
Give them a big round of applause!
I want to know
if your movie is still worth it,
making it for only one person to see.
I'm sure that all the members of the press
and honored guests who are
gathered here today would like to know
all about this new film project.
And, of course,
what is on everyone's mind
is the relationship
between our talented director
and our leading lady.
So without further ado,
I invite the members of the press
to go ahead with your questions.
Go ahead.
This is for the producer. Why do you
want to make Blood of Suphan Buri?
I am originally from Suphan Buri,
so this is just a way to give back
to my home province.
Thank you. Next question from the press?
Next question is for the director.
Why did you pick Pang
to be your lead actress?
Because there is no one better suited
for the role than her.
Is it also
because you are in a relationship?
I can't lie and say that was not a factor.
I knew it.
So the reason
you cast Ms. Pang Meena
is because of your romantic relationship?
And because she is perfect for the role.
But don't you already have a wife?
I'm glad you asked that question.
We already have a divorce.
I have this divorce certificate here
because I want everyone to know
that Pang did nothing wrong.
What happened at our wedding
was all my fault.
I should have got
the official divorce earlier,
even though we had been separated
for a long time.
I was wrong to get it done too late.
But that's not so,
according to what your ex-wife told me.
She said that,
yes, you did ask for a divorce.
But she did not want to lose money
to you in a divorce settlement.
So she refused to agree to a divorce.
That's not true.
If she didn't want a divorce,
then how do I have this certificate?
Because you signed
an agreement with your ex-wife
that you would not ask
for any of her money
because you had your hopes set on
taking money from this movie budget.
What's more,
this man thinks that this piece of paper
means he can fool me again.
And did he succeed?
A guy like this can only fool me once.
So why did you agree to star in his movie?
I'm sure John planned all of this himself.
The reason I came here today
is because I wanted everyone
to know the truth about him.
As for me starring in this movie?
In this lifetime, I will never work
with this director ever again.
Thank you, everyone,
for your time and understanding.
Pang!
Follow her!
See if Pang will give us an interview!
So he just runs like this every day?
Yes.
Why is he running?
He's not making my movie anymore?
He said he doesn't want to do it anymore.
Goddammit!
If he's not going to make a movie,
what the hell is he going to do?
He said he wants
to be a competitive runner.
A runner?
Yeah.
This asshole
is some kind of Grump!
Forrest Gump, sir.
Yeah,
he thinks he's Forrest Gump,
but he's not.
-He's an artist.
-Hmm.
He needs to make damn movies.
We just need to give him
a little bit of time.
Screw that!
I gave him a shitload of time already.
I should have just listened to my friend.
What did your friend say?
He said, "You don't just need money
to make a movie."
Why is that?
You also need to be a fool!
She looks familiar.
She's the famous actress, Pang.
Oh. This is Pang.
That's right.
Where are you going, Tukkae?
Nowhere, really.
Aren't you going to finish your movie?
What about you? Aren't you going
to get your master's degree abroad?
Yes, but I want to do
one more movie before I go.
What movie?
It's a movie without a title.
But I heard that director is
no longer working on it anymore.
Why not? I saw the first half
of the movie, and it looked promising.
What about Blood of Suphan Buri?
I prefer the Chiang Khan story.
Why do you want to be in this movie?
Why did you want to make it?
Because this movie...
This movie is about you.
And the reason I want to be in your movie
is because it is
about us.
So he's coming back,
and he wants to make a romance now?
That's right.
And what about my Mae Nak Riverside?
I think that's up to you.
Up to me? What the hell?
It's up to that goddamn artist!
So what do you want to do?
I get to pick the name for this new movie.
What are you going to call it?
Tukkae Loves Pang to Death.
-Tukkae Loves Pang to Death?
-That's right.
I think people will assume
it's a ghost story with that title.
The hell are you talking about?
Ghost story?
Mae Nak, Por Mak, that's a ghost story.
But if you have "Death" in the title,
people assume a ghost story.
"To death" is just an expression
that means "a lot." Don't you get it?
So "to death" means "a lot"?
-A lot more than "a lot."
-Okay.
Is "so much" more than "a lot"?
-"So much" is not enough!
-You're killing me.
That's closer! Tukkae Loves Pang to Death!
Tukkae Loves Pang to Death,
scene 33, take one.
Action!
What did you think, boss?
That's Nawarat!
I know. I know.
You like painting,
but what do you want to do
when you get older, Tukkae?
I want to be a billboard artist
like Master Pong.
What do you want to do
when you grow up, Pang?
I want to be a movie star!
Really?
Why do you want to be a movie star, dear?
So I can see myself painted
on a giant billboard someday!
TUKKAE LOVES PANG TO DEATH
If you become a movie star,
I'll paint your billboard myself!
You have to make sure
it's the biggest one ever, okay?
Definitely. The biggest one ever!
You promise?
I promise!
PETCH CHIANG KAN
Grandma,
why can't we have dinner
at Miss Pang's house?
Why would we go there?
She's right over here!
You want a smack?
You two are mean.
ONE MONTH AFTER OUR MOVIE PREMIERED,
PANG WENT TO SCHOOL IN CHICAGO
WHILE I CONTINUED WORK
ON MAE NAK RIVERSCAPE.
PANG DIDN'T SAY HOW LONG SHE'D BE AWAY.
SHE ONLY SAID
THAT SHE'D COME BACK FOR SURE
BECAUSE SHE KNOWS THAT BACK HOME
SOMEONE SHE LOVES TO DEATH
IS WAITING FOR HER