1
Hello. What number?
Three-thirty.
Go ahead.
The line on New York/Charlotte
is New York minus seven.
No, we still don't take
any action on hockey.
Yes, I'd be happy
to pass your suggestion along.
Okay. That's New York
minus the seven for five grand.
Uh, just a reminder, sir.
You still owe us 15,000
from yesterday's baseball.
Just reminding you, sir.
Hello. What number?
Hi, Max.
Yeah, it's been pretty busy.
Uh, we're at 42,000 for the day.
Yes, that includes the money
I lad off on L.A./Milwaukee.
Oh, you might wanna watch three-thirty.
He's startin' to press to cover his losses.
Alright.
I'll call Gordon's office.
Okay.
Goodbye.
- Hi, Rose.
- How are you?
- Terrific.
- Did I get any mail?
- No.
There.
How 'bout that, huh?
- Oh, Sheriff.
- This is our new home.
This is Where
we make our life together.
- Hello?
- It's John. Max is dead.
- Really?
- Yeah, Gordon is the boss now...
- and he wants to see you.
- Here?
No, at the office.
One o'clock. Don't be late.
Okay, bye.
You can go in now.
Come in, come in.
Take a seat.
Look at you.
You look good.
A good looking young man
is what we got here.
Yeah.
Okay.
So, as you know, Max is dead.
We're all very sorry about that.
With Max gone, it's time to reorganize,
shake things up...
bring the company into the present.
Think about the future.
- The book doesn't even have a computer.
- I can keep track of things without a computer.
Forget that.
You are getting a promotion.
Where's the smile?
- Where's the "Thanks, Gordon."
- I'm happy takin' book.
I don't want a promotion.
John tells me that you're still living
in the basement in Bay Cities.
- Yeah.
- Gosh.
That... that is pathetic.
I'm happy with things
the way they are.
Let's start from the beginning.
You are getting a promotion.
Congratulations.
- Thanks.
- Have you ever fired a gun?
- No.
- You're gonna learn.
You take him to see Steve
as soon as he gets back from Vegas.
You are our new hitman.
- But I...
- Listen to me. You are our new hitman.
I'm the boss now.
I'm not gonna carry you like Max did.
This is your new job.
You're gonna make a lot of money.
The hours are great.
You hang out most of the time.
- It's fun!
- Okay.
Now get the fuck outta here.
- Hey, Honey.
- Hey, Cosmo. Lousy suit.
- It was my dad's.
- Do you mind if I take off my wig?
- Go ahead.
- Thanks.
Mr. Randall yanked it off,
and now I can't get it on straight.
- You see Mr. Randall upstairs?
- Mr. Carl and Mr. Levine, too.
But, I thought
we had something kind of special.
- Like you were my girlfriend.
- Cosmo, I like you.
Of all the people that pay to have
sex with me, I like you the best.
- What's wrong?
- Work troubles.
Do you wanna talk?
What's up?
Gordon's promoting me to hitman.
- I don't wanna kill people.
- Be glad they're not makin' you do my job.
I saw Max yesterday.
He seemed fine.
Are we gonna do it?
You know, 'cause it's been a really
long day, and you're my last stop.
I don't feel like it tonight.
The money's on the nightstand.
Listen, now that Max is dead,
there's no more discounts.
You still owe me 40 dollars.
- Sorry. Should I come by next week?
- I guess so.
Alright.
- Don't forget your wig.
- Oh! You're a life saver.
Bye.
What kind of car is this?
Lincoln Towncar.
Very smooth.
Gentlemen. I was in the shower.
Hence the wait.
My humblest apologies.
Come on in.
John, how are you?
You look terrific.
- Great suit. Success really agrees with you.
- This is Cosmo. Come in.
- The guy we talked about.
- Yes, yes. Cosmo, welcome.
I look forward
to teaching you what I know.
There is a feeling I have right now that
tells me we're gonna get along famously.
I mean it.
You feel it, too.
I know you do.
- Can I get you guys something?
- I gotta go.
There's nothin' goin' on right now.
Use the time to get Cosmo ready.
- When something comes up, take him along.
- Of course. Absolutely. Would be my pleasure.
Gordon wanted me to tell you he was
very pleased with your work in Vegas.
- Fantastic.
- We'll be in touch.
So long, John.
Nice seein' you again.
Give my regards to Gordon.
Christ, what a cock sucker.
- You're not related to him, are you?
- No.
What a piece of shit.
Come on in the kitchen.
So you wanna be a hitman?
- Gordon's making me. I don't want to.
- Yeah. It's a lousy way to make a living.
- I don't think I can do this.
- Hey, hey. Come on.
Why not take a positive approach to this?
Have you ever killed a guy before?
- No.
- Shot a gun?
- No.
- Well, I'll let you in on a little secret.
Neither had I when I first started,
and now look at me.
I'm number one here.
You can do this. Trust me.
- I guess I don't have a choice.
- No, you don't.
And one other thing:
I won't work with a guy who enjoys it.
Things can get out of hand.
I've seen it happen.
Treat this as a job.
You'll be fine.
Okay.
Sure you don't wanna any juice?
No. Thanks.
Alright.
Make sure that the bullets are aligned.
Prepare your gun for firing.
I put the clip in
and chamber around, right?
- Is the safety on?
- I don't know.
- Let's make sure.
- It's that thing, right?
- Right. Is it on or off?
- I don't know.
Okay. If you see that red dot,
that means that the safety is off.
- What do you see, Cosmo?
- The red dot?
- What does that mean?
- The safety's off.
Okay. You're ready for firing.
Do you wanna shoot righty or lefty?
- I don't know.
- Well, why don't you try them both?
Whichever one
you feel comfortable...
You wanna watch that?
Safety around guns is very important.
Safety first.
Remember, guns don't kill people.
We kill people.
Alright, alright.
Just, put the headphones on.
Okay.
Take aim at the target.
Turn your body a little here.
Square your shoulders.
Okay.
Let's see what you got.
- Did I hit it?
- Yes. Very good. Keep going.
Very impressive.
You killed this guy.
- Can I shoot some more?
- Sure, sure. We've got all day.
- Can I use this gun?
- That's fine.
- You've never fired a gun before?
- Never.
Here's how it works.
I call out the body part,
and you try to hit it.
Okay.
Alright.
Let's start with the...
spleen.
How 'bout the trachea?
Elbow joint.
Spine.
Liver.
Small intestine.
Right lung.
And the ever popular
medulla oblongata.
Very, very good.
Why don't we take a break?
You are in too good a mood.
I can't help it.
I've never been good at anything before.
It's exciting.
Well, I want you to take that enthusiasm
with you when you go out on your first job.
- Well, when do we get our first job?
- Hang on, tiger. Be patient.
- Something always comes up.
- You think I'm ready?
Cosmo, you're a great shot.
Better than me, even.
All you need
is a little experience.
There is no replacement for experience
in a business like this.
Until then
we can keep practicing.
Alright.
Have a glass of juice.
Drink a glass of that a day,
and you'll live forever.
What did I just tell you?
Please don't touch anything
that is part of the driver's console.
It's not safe.
- Besides, everything's set the way I like it.
- Sorry.
- What kind of car is this again'?
- Cadillac Sedan DeVille.
You like it better
than the Lincoln Towncar?
There's no comparison.
Someday I'm gonna get
a car like this.
What are you doin' tonight?
I don't know.
I guess I'll watch
whatever game's on ESPN.
You lead a pretty boring life,
don't you?
Yeah.
- Well...
- Thanks.
For what?
I don't know.
Look.
- I know.
- Hello?
- Cosmo, Steve here.
- Hi, Steve.
Wanna go kill a guy?
You mean, just go out
an shoot somebody?
No. I was talkin' to John, who was tellin' me
about a guy who wouldn't pay off on some debt.
- I figured it's a way to earn brownie points.
- But I just learned how to shoot.
Consider it more practice.
I'll come by and pick you up.
Right now?
Is that okay?
- Sure.
- Great. See you soon.
Okay.
Goodbye.
C'mon, boss!
We're gonna miss the plane!
Hop in.
Don't keep the gun out like that.
Tuck it into your belt behind you.
Wait a minute.
Put a loaded magazine in first.
Make sure the safety's on.
Okay.
- It's cold.
- It'll get warmer.
Don't worry.
This'll be an easy job.
A good introduction.
You can do it.
I don't mind.
Here.
Screw this
into the barrel of the gun.
The other way.
Clockwise.
There you go.
Good.
Why don't you keep it handy
for a while?
Remember game one
of the Eighty-eight Series?
- Great game.
- Yeah.
Now, what most people remember
is the Gibson home run.
But what about Mike Davis
drawing the walk against Eckersley?
- Without that walk...
- There he is.
This guy, he's bad, right? I mean,
he's not innocent or anything, is he?
Nah. I don't think so.
Probably not.
Most of these guys deserve what they get.
- Some of them, anyway.
- Not all of them?
Never turn your back on the door.
Always smile.
- Hello.
- Who are you?
It's not always this easy.
This guy happens to be a moron.
Hey, guys, can I help you?
Show him your gun.
Point it at him.
Always make sure they see the gun.
Do you know why we're here?
- No.
- Come on, Lance. Put it together.
Who do you owe $22,000?
Max.
But Max is dead.
Who comes after Max?
- Gordon.
- Right. Gordon is collecting Max's debt.
You knew that.
I didn't know that.
I swear.
I forgot.
That's weak, Lance,
you're playing with company money.
We want it back.
I don't have it.
- You don't have it?
- No.
Put the barrel of the gun
up to his head.
- Now?
- Yeah.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
Normally I would tell you not to do this,
because if you get too close...
you run the risk
of getting splattered with blood.
But Lance is really starting
to piss me off...
and I wanna make sure
there's nothing left of his head.
How could you walk into the Firefly,
a bar that we own...
and flash such a huge roll of bills
and think we wouldn't be upset, Lance?
Now, cough up some dough
and we'll just break your nose.
Ah, break his nose anyway.
- How?
- Whack him with the barrel of the gun.
Could you hold still, please?
- Sure.
- Thank you.
Lance.
Lance?
Lance!
We can do this all night,
you know?
Break a finger, an elbow, a kneecap,
that bone under your eye.
- The orbital bone.
- What?
That bone under your eye.
It's called the orbital bone.
I have a chart of the skeletal system
above my bed.
Okay, okay, the orbital bone.
We can break the orbital bone,
or you can give us the money!
It's in there. Under the mattress.
Take everything.
Watch him.
- It's alright.
- It's okay.
- They'll be able to fix it.
- It just hurts right now. I think...
Check this out.
He actually hides money
under the mattress.
Well, well, well.
We've been a busy boy,
haven't you?
Where did you get
all this money?
- Well...
- Please be honest.
I middled
two hoops games yesterday.
I mean, you wait for something like that
your whole life...
- and then, boom, twice in one day.
- I thought I recognized your voice.
- You're three-thirty, aren't you?
- Yeah.
I used to answer phones for Max.
I used to take book for this guy.
Didn't you get your nose broken
last year, too?
- That was me!
- Well, it's nice to finally meet you.
Same here. You know,
I always wondered what you looked like.
For some reason,
I pictured you with a mustache.
- No. No, I never had one.
- Just a little pencil-thin...
Shut up!
Lance, do you have any more money?
Again, I urge you to be honest.
That's everything.
I swear.
Do you believe him?
Yeah. Definitely.
Okay.
You can kill him now.
Back away, though.
You're too close.
Remember about the blood.
But he gave the money back.
You're sorry, right?
You promise you'll never do it again?
I promise.
- Isn't that good enough?
- No. Come on.
Take a few steps back,
you're too close.
That's okay.
There's fifty-five K there.
- It's more than I owe you. You can keep it.
- Thanks. We will.
I know this isn't easy.
Just get it over with.
- What are you doing wrong?
- I don't know.
The safety is still on.
Come on, Cosmo.
Wake up.
Come on. Come on.
Don't do this. We can do a deal.
- Is he dead?
- Ask him.
Come on. Let's go.
Cosmo, come on.
- Do you think he deserved it?
- We never ask that question.
When it gets to us, we don't have
the luxury of asking that question.
That was about more
than just money, wasn't it?
I don't know.
Really, it's not important.
But that guy,
he deserved it, right?
He was garbage.
He deserved to die.
Good.
- Isn't this Gordon's money?
- Gordon is due $22,000.
I'll give him $30,000.
The rest is gravy.
A fringe benefit.
Our secret.
You get paid, too. Fifty grand a job.
Consider this
a welcome aboard gift.
I could get into trouble.
What if Gordon finds out?
There were three people back there.
Lance is a lock to keep his mouth shut.
If we're gonna work together, you have
to trust me and I have to trust you.
Let this be
the beginning of that.
- Okay.
- A relationship is nothing without trust.
Rig ht.
You're okay?
You sure?
If you need to talk, call me.
Anytime.
Thanks.
You did good work.
Good night.
- Hi, Rose.
It's me! It's me!
Sorry.
- What are you doin' here?
- Christ, Cosmo, it's Mr. Krane's 90th birthday.
I thought I'd come down
and see how you were doing.
Not so good.
- Do you want a massage?
- Sure.
Fine.
You scared me.
Oh, my...
Cosmo, you're as hard as a rock.
I've got a lot on my mind.
At the risk of sounding like a broken
record, I heartily recommend yoga.
It's changed my life.
I couldn't face the day without it.
And there's an excellent studio
right up the street on Milton.
- What is yoga?
- Well, you stretch and meditate.
You wanna hit the sack?
No. I don't feel like it.
I'll still pay you though.
Can you break a hundred?
Okay. Just keep it.
Where did you get this wad?
Never mind.
Never mind. I don't need to know that.
I'll see you next week, Cosmo.
Hi. Welcome to Yoga Day.
Thanks.
Hey!
Look at all those asses.
Row three
is chock-full of asses.
- Hello, everyone.
- Alright, Jasmine! She's got the best ass.
Okay. Please lie flat on your backs
and close your eyes.
Now, just let yourself relax.
Your legs, your arms,
your spine...
Melt into the floor.
Breathe deeply.
Now, and exhale, let go of all the stress
and tension that prevents you...
from reaching a relaxed state.
Pinpoint what is bothering you
and then release it.
Feel the calm come over you
as you let your problems drift, drift away.
Just relax.
Close your eyes.
Close your eyes.
Think of nothing.
Think of pure whiteness.
Good. Good.
Okay, everyone, please bring your knees
into your chest, rock up...
and come into
a standing position.
Feel yourself grounded
and strong.
Now, inhale, arms up,
keeping our heart shakras open.
And exhale.
Fold forward.
Yeah. Now see if you can move your hands
to the front of your face. Good, good.
Yeah.
Okay.
Open your eyes... gently, gently.
Now, I'd like you to carry this peace
with you throughout the rest of your day.
Remember, yoga can tap into
some of your deepest emotions.
You may find some old feelings
coming up to the surface.
Don't fight those feelings.
Take care of yourself.
Take a hot bath.
Namaste.
- Thank you, everyone.
- Thank you.
Have a good day.
Yeah, well,
we're in a hurry now.
- Now, what are you doing? Come on!
- Just hold it.
Hey, are you alright?
- Jasmine, we're already late.
- Randy, give me a second. Please?
Whatever. Whatever.
Hey, what you're feeling is a good thing.
Embrace it.
Jasmine! Let's go!
I'm hungry! Come on.
I have to go.
Will you come back
to class again?
Good. And try to wear something
a little more comfortable.
You know, sweats, something like that.
See ya.
God, you can be
so insensitive sometimes.
I'm sitting here starving,
waiting for you...
while you're talking to a homeless guy
and I'm insensitive?
- Who's there?
- Steve?
Steve who?
- Steve, it's Cosmo.
- Who is it?
- Cosmo.
- Cosmo?
Cosmo?
Cosmo!
Hey, buddy!
My new buddy. How're ya doin'?
What's up with my new buddy?
Nothin', really. I...
I just couldn't sleep,
so I thought I'd call you.
Blah, blah, blah...
- Excuse me?
- It's just a big steaming crock of shit.
That's all.
You think? Don't you agree?
- 1 don't know.
- Well, you can take my fucking word for it!
- Okay.
- Stupid fuck.
Fucking stupid fuck!
Well, Steve, I just wanted to talk.
But I think we can probably talk tomorrow.
I don't care.
I don't give a fucking rat's ass,
you stupid fucking asshole!
Wow.
Wait! Wait!
There's no reason for this!
Please have mercy!
Please have mercy! Have mercy!
That is so fake.
Hey, there!
Hi.
She's nice, isn't she?
Yeah.
- You have two?
- This is for you.
- For me?
- It's a gift.
From you?
Yup.
And from Gordon.
Well, it's really from Gordon.
But I told him how much you liked my
Cadillac, so it's sort of from me, too.
- Thanks.
- Come on. Let's take her for a spin.
What a day!
Come on, come on, come on, come on!
You are gonna love this car.
How about that driver's seat?
It's more comfortable
than a living room couch.
It is nice.
You know, sometimes I take the newspaper
out into the car and read it there.
Just sitting in the driveway.
- Do you remember talking to me last night?
- No, did I call you?
- I called you.
- Oh, good.
- You sounded weird.
- Weird.
I can get weird at night.
It's nothing.
- You won't say anything to anyone, wlll ya?
- No.
Good man.
Is this a car?
I took a yoga class
this morning.
- Really?
- I thought it might help me relax.
Yeah, I've tried that.
I've tried everything.
Glug, glug, glug.
That's what works for me.
I don't wanna do this anymore.
Come on.
You're not even giving it a chance.
I can't stop thinkin'
about that guy, though.
He's dead. I killed him.
I won't kid you.
That part never gets easier.
Every night, I'm haunted
by the faces of the people I've murdered.
I have nightmares about them
begging and crying.
But that's the job.
Great.
- Look, Randy, if people come late to class...
- Wait a second.
- There's nothing I can do about it.
- Do you have a clock in there?
Yes, I have a clock.
- It doesn't matter if I have a clock.
- You have a clock in there? Use it. Okay?
I'm waitin' 20 minutes.
That's 10 minutes shy of 30. Alright?
- You hear what I'm saying?
- It doesn't matter.
If there are students in there who need
help, I have to stay after sometimes.
There's nothing
I can do about that.
What the fuck are you lookin' at, asshole?
I'm in the middle of a conversation here.
Do you mind?
Thank you.
So, then, what you're sayin' then, is that
your time is more important than mine, right?
I'm just supposed to sit out here every day I
wait for you and just take it like that, right?
Like my whole world revolves around you.
That's what you're saying, right?
Let me tell you something, alright?
A few things you need to learn know, okay?
Number one:
I don't wait for anybody, okay?
- Look, will you just listen...?
- No, no, no.
Why can't we do this at night?
- Doesn't it make sense to do this at night?
- Hey, don't worry about it.
I'll take care of it.
Watch and learn.
- You're not mad at me, are you?
- No.
Really?
That was some fuck-up back there.
- Don't worry about it.
- Are you sure he's dead?
He's dead.
Well, you showed real poise.
That was nice work.
Do you mind if I drive?
Everything's set just the way I like it.
Sorry. I was...
- I cut myself shaving.
- You okay?
Yeah.
Just a little shaky.
Come on in.
Come In.
Come In, come In, come In. Come In.
- I know this doesn't look good.
- Don't worry about it.
I'm a mess.
- How are you doin'?
- Good. I feel good.
- You're sleeping okay?
- Fine.
Actually great.
Really?
So, uh, what's the deal?
We got a big one on our hands.
Gordon called me personally.
Well, can we get going?
There's a game on at one.
Fuck, you're awfully cool.
This is a big job.
Look at me. Colombians.
Three of them. Maybe four.
These guys don't beg and they don't run.
They shoot back. You got that, tough guy?
Sure. Let's go.
Now, look.
These guys are always stoned,
but they're never far from a gun.
- Sounds good. How do we get in?
- They know me.
I'm supposed to pick up some cash.
Ready?
Don't you want to take
that toilet paper off your face?
- I really care if these guys see me this way.
- Fine. It just doesn't seem professional to me.
Hello, fellas.
Money?
Hey, Gilbert.
How're you doin'?
Thank you very much.
Gentlemen...
Drop it.
Fuck!
Come on.
Come on.
- You're bleeding. A lot.
- No shit!
- It's gonna get on the upholstery.
- Are you kidding?
- I like this car.
- Open the fuckin' door!
What should I do?
No hospital.
Just take me home.
Get Gordon to call me a doctor.
Don't die, Steve.
He's gonna sleep for a bit.
He'll be okay.
I'll have a nurse come over
and watch him.
You're sure he's okay?
No, I'm just saying it.
He's fine.
- I mean, he'll be fine.
- You sure?
Yes.
Really.
Honestly.
Well, then.
I guess I'll be goin'.
If that's okay with you.
Wait.
What's the best way to get blood off
of leather upholstery?
I don't know.
Comet?
So, yoga makes you cry too?
My fuckin' boyfriend
makes me cry.
- I would never make you cry.
- Oh, I've heard that one before.
A person like you
deserves special treatment.
Here's the Margaritas
you ordered.
No salt.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Do you have a girlfriend?
- No, not really.
It's kind of...
No.
All I ever do is break up.
I hate this shit.
You need to go outwith someone
who will appreciate you.
Yeah, like that's
ever gonna happen.
I would never be mean to you.
You deserve better.
You see, you know,
this is how it always starts with me.
Some jerk convinces me he'll be nicer to me
than the jerk I'm already with.
I'm not a jerk.
You wanna go see a movie
or something?
I have to go visit
a sick friend.
Well, maybe later. How about tonight?
I could use the company.
Okay.
- You're not a jerk, right?
- Right.
- Thanks, buddy.
- Anything else?
- I'm fine.
- You're sure?
Really. Sit down.
So, what have you been up to?
You know, nothin'.
- I went to yoga class this morning.
- How is that goin'?
Good. Great, actually.
Me and my teacher are going out
to a movie tonight.
- You mean a date?
- No. No, it's not...
- I think it is a date.
- Have a good time.
Can I ask you a...?
I've never been
on a date before.
- What do I do?
- You've never been on a date before?
- How old are you?
- 24.
Have you ever...?
You know.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, a lot.
Well, if you've never been on a date
before, how did you ever get laid?
You know, different ways.
Hookers?
Yeah.
And you've never had
a girlfriend?
No. Never.
I have been seeing
the same hooker for a while.
Yeah, well,
that doesn't really count.
I know.
- Which hooker have you been seeing?
- Honey.
She's great.
Yeah.
- So, what do you do on a date?
- Use common sense.
Be nice.
Listen to everything she says.
Dress up.
Do you have a suit?
- A crummy old one.
- Buy a nice new one.
- Well, where do I go?
- I don't know. Go to Beverly Hills.
Go to Armani.
Nice suit.
Do you like it?
- I have a whole closet full of them.
- You look nice.
I feel dumb.
You shouldn't.
You look great.
So do you.
You know what? Let's blow off
the movie and something to eat.
Is that okay?
Sure. Fine.
Where do you wanna eat?
I don't know.
You know what?
I don't feel like going out.
I'd rather just beg out in front
of the television, something like that.
I have a TV.
I live around the corner.
I could get out of this suit.
Sounds good.
I don't go near cheese or milk.
If you could see what dairy products
do to your insides, it's horrible, really.
I mean, we just weren't meant
to eat that stuff.
I'm lactose-intolerant.
What are you doing?
This is where I live.
- You actually live here?
- Yeah. In the basement.
- Hi, Rose.
This is Jasmine.
Hey, Cosmo.
Now, that is a nice suit.
- Hi, Jasmine.
- Hi.
Do I...
I'm in your yoga... yoga class.
Yoga! Hi!
- I haven't seen you in class lately.
- Yeah. I moved up to level two.
- Great.
- Yeah.
I turned Cosmo onto yoga.
I knew that he'd dig it.
Yeah, good, good.
That's great.
I gotta go.
So, Cosmo, I'll see you around.
- It was great to finally meet you. Bye-bye.
- You too.
- Bye, Rose.
- Bye.
- Does she live here, too?
- No, no. No.
- What does she do?
- She's, uh, kind of a nurse.
- That's how the nurses dress around here?
- She's more of a specialist.
A physical therapist kind of thing.
Do you want some popcorn?
Wait. Show me around first.
Okay.
I sleep over there.
And that door there
is the bathroom.
Nice.
No sports.
I'll watch whatever you want.
No boyfriend has ever handed me
the channel changer before.
Don't give me any more lines
like that.
I was just beginning to enjoy
talking to you.
That wasn't a line.
Can I do something for you?
No. But I'll call you
if I need any furniture mo vea'.
I should go.
Yeah.
- Do you want me to go?
- No.
No.
It's nice having you here.
It's nice to be here.
But I really should go.
Alright. I'm going.
I'm going to move.
Oh, God...
Get lost, pal.
The lady's with me.
So, thanks.
- For what?
- For, you know...
Comin' over and stuff.
It was...
- I had a good time.
- So did I.
Would you like to do
somethin' again some night?
- That would be fun.
- How about tomorrow night?
- Okay.
- Good.
So, then tomorrow night
we can do...
something.
- So, you should probably go, huh?
- Yeah, I guess.
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
Hello?
Hi, John.
Steve's okay.
He'd love a visit from Gordon.
Okay. I'll tell him.
But a visit from Gordon
would be nice.
- Hi.
- Are you Tim Alexander?
- Yeah, yeah. That's right.
- Hello.
Hi.
And, uh, and you are...?
I work for Gordon.
Can I come in for a minute?
Uh, yeah. Uh, please.
We were just about
to have some coffee.
Honey, that's great coffee.
- It is.
- Thank you.
So, uh, what's...
what's up with Gordon?
I'm not supposed to be there
till three.
- You were going to see him later?
- Yeah. I just finished doin' his books.
- I saved him a ton of money this year.
- We saved him a ton of money.
- We.
- You're his accountants?
- Yeah. Have been for a long time.
- Yeah.
I've known Gordon since I got out of
college. He's like a second dad to me.
- Honey, would you pass the cream?
- Oh, yeah. Here it comes.
- There.
- Thank you.
So...
- You're not here to pick me up, are you?
- No.
Are you guys married?
- Y-h.
- Yeah, he... be a year tomorrow.
- Our first anniversary.
- We're going to Hawaii.
You guys seem real happy.
- We are.
- We are.
Honey...
How long did you date
before you got married?
Six months?
- Six months, three weeks.
- Two weeks.
He proposed in San Francisco.
It was so romantic.
That's nice.
Can I ask you guys
a personal question?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, shoot.
How long did you guys date
before you...
you know.
- Sex?
- Yeah.
I know it's kind of
a weird question, but...
I'm seeing someone,
and I'm not sure when the right time is.
I don't wanna blow it.
- Um, you know...
- Three dates.
- Three dates. Three dates.
- Third date.
- Three dates is usually a good rule of thumb.
- That makes sense.
Well, good luck, because you don't know
how great life can be...
- until you're with the right person.
- That's true.
And I hope that this woman
is your right person.
Me too.
So what was it... what was it
that Gordon wanted?
Oh... yeah.
Hey, Cosmo.
How are you feeling?
Fine.
Good.
- You don't look too good.
- I just did a...
- A strange thing just happened.
- What?
I went on a job this morning.
- No, you didn't.
- Yeah, I did.
I didn't wanna do it
without you.
- Did you talk to Gordon? Who did you talk to?
- John.
- I didn't talk to Gordon.
- Okay. That's okay.
- What was so important?
- I don't know.
It didn't seem important.
It just was some accountant.
A real nice guy.
And his wife.
I didn't mind killin' 'em.
That was automatic.
I've just never seen two people
so happy together.
I've never had that before.
Have you?
No.
Well, I wanna be in love.
I gotta get out of this.
You can't.
Gordon won't let you.
The company needs us.
We provide an invaluable service.
Especially you.
You're young
and your talent is rare.
- You're just as good.
- No, I'm not.
I wasn't ready to go out on my own
for almost a year.
And even then, I was a mess.
I got shot twice.
You have natural ability.
You'll be telling me what to do soon.
How's it going with Jasmine?
Well...
You're in love with her,
aren't you?
I don't know.
- I've never been in love before.
- You look like you're in love.
Wow.
I mean, last Tuesday,
we went to Clark's and I paid.
Look, we've had
this conversation before!
Yes, we have!
And now I have company,
and I can't talk about it anymore.
Look, Randy, you're not...
No! I think I was very clear!
Oh, just stop it.
Just...
Okay. Okay, how's this for clear?
Fuck off!
I'm sorry.
That was my boyfriend.
My ex-boyfriend.
- How are you?
- Fine.
- I thought about you all day.
- Really?
Yeah.
Can we just sit here
for a moment?
Sure.
Thanks.
Are you hungry?
No.
Me neither.
What do you wanna do?
I don't care.
This is fine.
Yeah, it is.
No. We have to do something.
Let's go out.
- Okay.
- What do you wanna do?
I don't know.
I'll do whatever you wanna do.
Just knowing you'd do whatever I wanna do
makes me feel like we're doing something.
Let's just hang out.
- Okay.
- Okay.
I just heard his car.
- Who's car?
- Randy's. My ex-boyfriend's.
- What do we do?
- Maybe it was somebody else.
- No, that's his car. He's here.
- Are you sure?
What do we do?
Do you want me to talk to him?
Would you really?
No, you can't. He's crazy.
I'd like to talk to him.
- Oh, God. Really?
- Really.
Okay.
You talk to him.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
Jasmine!
Come on, this is ridiculous. How many times
did I tell you about making me wait!
- Who the fuck are you?
- I'm a friend of Jasmine's.
She wanted me to talk to you.
Yeah. Okay. Right.
Fuck it. Where is she?
- Jasmine!
- Let's step outside.
Fuck you. Okay?
Please go.
- I'm going in there, okay?
- You're not.
Oh, fuck...
I asked you to go.
You did.
You definitely did.
God...
Here, Randy,
why don't we sit down for a minute?
- Take a seat. Okay.
- Okay. Okay.
Jasmine doesn't wanna
talk to you anymore.
- Okay.
- I really lhlnkyou should leave her alone.
I will.
Now, you shouldn't just say that.
You should really mean it.
I mean it.
If I ever hear about you
bothering her...
if I ever see you,
bad things will happen to you.
- Do you understand?
- Yes, sir.
Good.
Now that I have you here, Randy, I think there
are a few questions I'd like to ask you.
God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Please, just do it fast.
- Please. Oh, my God.
- What kind of flowers does she like?
Roses.
Roses. Roses are good.
- Roses?
- Yeah.
Okay.
What about gifts?
Any suggestions?
Perfume. She... she likes, she
likes, uh, La... Lalique.
Mango butter...
That stuff from the Body Shop, man,
it's in a little purple vial.
She likes that stuff.
Oh, man.
I don't know.
Can I go now?
I just have one more question.
This is, um, kind of...
This is kind of embarrassing,
but...
is there anything
I should know in regards to...
You know, likes, dunes, that sort of thing?
Come on, Randy, this is important.
You'd be helping me.
You serious?
- I really think you should tell me.
- Uh, talk to her, man. Talk to her.
- You mean, during sex?
- Yeah. Not dirty, though. Nice.
- She likes it nice.
- Nice... What else?
Top, top's good.
She likes... she likes to be on top.
Use your tongue, bro.
Use your tongue, that's good.
She don't like from behind.
Uh, she...
You can forget about
blow jobs, okay?
I don't know, man. I don't know.
I'm a little nervous, okay?
I'm a little nervous, man.
I don't know.
I can understand that.
Why don't you
stand up for me, Randy?
I want you to remember
what I said.
If I ever see you again,
I'll take my gun...
put it under your chin,
I'll blow your face off.
I think it would be better
if you just went away.
I'm so gone,
it's not even funny.
Good call.
Take care.
Okay. Thank you.
- What happened?
- Everything's fine.
He apologized for his behavior
and promised to leave you alone.
- Randy said that?
- He did.
He seemed very sincere.
What did you say to him?
I explained to him that you were no longer
interested in seeing him anymore.
I told him that now it was my chance to
show how good you deserved to be treated.
And that's it?
That's it.
- So, here we are.
- Here we are.
Are you sure
you don't want to stay any longer?
I do.
More than anything.
But I...
But I want what I think is gonna happen next
not to be attached to anything from the past.
Does that make sense?
Good night.
Hello?
Now?
Here?
Come here.
Get over here,
you overachiever, you!
Who knew?
Who knew?
All this time we had a prodigy
right under our noses.
Can I kiss you?
I gotta kiss you.
That's what I'm feelin'.
Good morning.
Do you mind if I sit down?
We have some things to discuss.
Sit. Sit.
- You look good.
- Thanks. So do you.
Well, thank you for that.
I need to lose another ten pounds.
You don't look like
you need to lose any weight.
Hey, I came to compliment you,
and you compliment me.
You're too much.
John, put the briefcase on the table,
and go wait in the car.
Someday, with your abilities,
you're gonna be boss.
And you just learned
a valuable lesson:
Never let even your closest confidant
know everything.
John is a good man.
I like him.
But the person who knows the most
is the most powerful.
- You understand?
- Yes.
Do you know what's in that case?
Of course, you don't.
I'll tell you.
No.
I will show you.
A lot of cabbage, huh?
You want it?
What do I have to do?
I want you to kill
the President of the United States.
I'm just kiddin'.
All you need to do is kill Steve.
- Why?
- You don't need him.
Popping my godson and his wife
was proof of that.
And those Colombians...
They've been a pain in my ass for years.
- What if...?
- Cosmo.
I know you like him.
But his time is over.
This is your time now.
Do it for Jasmine.
I understand she's a terrific girl,
and those stretches that she does...
It's unbelievable.
What is that stuff called,
that stretching business?
- Yoga?
- Right.
Yoga.
Hi. You're early.
- Sorry.
- No, that's okay.
I just didn't expect to see you
for another three hours.
I just had to...
I wanted...
What?
Do you wanna come in?
Are you okay?
What's up?
Talk to me.
I love you.
- But...
- I love you.
Do you love me?
I love you.
- Do you love me? I love you.
- Well, I mean, I...
I know that I love you.
I wanted you to know.
You don't have to love me if you don't
want to. It doesn't change how I feel.
Well, I didn't say
that I don't love you.
I just feel a little pressured.
Sorry.
Should I go?
- I'll go.
- No, no.
Just... just wait a minute.
Just wait a minute.
- Can I kiss you?
- Yes.
I can't imagine
life without you.
Really?
I love you.
I have to tell you something.
I know I shouldn't,
but I want you to know everything.
You don't have to say anything.
Really.
I want you to know everything.
It'll bring us closer together.
I don't have to know everything.
I think it's important.
- You should know this.
- Oh, God...
I'm a hitman.
I kill people for money.
- You're married, right?
- No.
- You're gay.
- No.
- You're a drug addict.
- No.
- Dealer?
- No. I'm a professional killer.
- No, you're not!
- I am too.
You're starting to freak me out.
I'm sorry about that.
You have a right to know.
- You're serious.
- Yes.
But I'll never do it again.
Do you have any secrets
you wanna tell me?
You're a murderer?
Well, that was the old me.
The me before I met you.
I don't do that anymore.
It still bothers me.
But you said you loved me.
I'm still the same person.
Yeah, that bothers me, too.
Why did you think
this would bring us closer together?
I don't know.
I thought you'd understand.
I shouldn't have said anything.
No. Better it comes out now.
There is one other thing
you should know.
I really don't have a whole closet
full of suits. I only have that one.
I only told you that
so you'd think I was a big shot.
Why would I care about that?
Why would you even bring that up?
Because I hated lying to you.
I could never lie to you.
I think you should go.
Really?
Please go.
I love you.
- Hey, Cosmo.
- Hey, Steve.
- Where's the nurse?
- I don't know. She didn't show.
Not that it matters.
I'm milking it at this point.
But don't say anything, okay?
I could use a few more days of this.
I won't say a word.
How about a glass
of fresh-squeezed beet juice?
Sure.
How'd it go with Jasmine?
So, is it love?
Yeah.
So, why are you so down?
- I gotta get out of the company.
- Cosmo, you've gotta stop thinking like that.
There is no way out.
Besides, they love you.
- I know.
- What do you mean, "I know"?
You keep telling me.
- Gordon told me, too.
- Get outta here!
He did.
I'm lying' here with a bullet hole
in my side, and he comes to see you.
That's fucked.
Did he mention me?
Did he ask how I was?
He mentioned you.
Shit! He wants you...
- We gotta talk.
- I don't know what to do.
What do you mean,
"you don't know what to do".
Fuck him! He's the guy that forced you
to be a killer in the first place.
Remember?
You should be on my side.
- You know I don't wanna do this.
- Then don't.
Wait! Hold on! Hold on.
You want out of the company?
There is a way:
Kill Gordon.
So John steps in.
I'm finished.
True.
- Kill John, too.
- Is it that simple?
It's that easy!
Okay. That's what I'll do.
Good!
I still have to kill you,
though.
Why?
Because, if I don't kill you,
I'll never get near them.
I'm really, really sorry.
I feel so much better
knowing that you're sorry.
That takes the sting out of it.
Come on, Cosmo!
- It was your idea.
- Okay, I take it back then.
No. It was a good idea.
You're too close.
We didn't expect to see you
till tomorrow.
I wanted Gordon to know
as soon as possible.
Well, he'll be very happy to see you.
He's in back. Come on in.
Cosmo, not that I don't trust you,
but could I have your gun?
- Sure.
- Its a mammal mm.
Gordon, look who's here.
Cosmo.
Cosmo. Cosmo.
This is a pleasant surprise.
This is a pleasant surprise,
isn't it?
- Yes.
- Good.
John, bust out a bottle of the bubbly.
I feel a celebration comin' on.
Nice-Iookin' set, huh?
- Yeah.
- John built it.
He's got the nimblest fingers.
The guy's a real artist.
I guess so.
- You should see what else he's built.
- It's an old west town.
Yeah, it's beautiful.
We need to talk. It's important
for you to know that I'm done.
I never have to...
you know, again.
You just killed somebody,
didn't you?
I love you.
Cosmo, if you love me,
then leave me alone.
I'm comin' in.
I can't live Without you.
- Cosmo, I know I said I love you, but I...
- You did. And you know that I love you.
But I can't deal with what you told me.
It's too much.
I'm done. No more.
I'll never touch a gun again.
- But you killed people. I can't forget that.
- Don't say that. You can forget it.
- I can't!
- Yes, you can.
I do feel bad, you know.
About the killings, I mean.
- That's not enough.
- Then, tell me what to do and I'll do it.
There's nothing you can do!
Then I'm gonna kill myself.
I don't wanna live
if I can't be with you.
You probably
don't wanna sit there.
Because of the bullet.
Right. Yeah. Thanks.
I can't do it.
I'm scared.
And, you know, it kind of bothers me
that you didn't say, "Cosmo, don't do it."
Come on, Jasmine.
We can be so happy together.
Let's start again.
How is it possible that the first decent
guy I ever sleep with is also a hitman?
I have to look this up
in the "I Ching".
The what?
Cosmo, I do love you.
I like the way I feel when I'm with you. But
that was all based on you not being a killer!
- Alright, then I want you to kill me.
- What?
Life without you would be meaningless.
I want you to kill me.
Here, take it.
It's all ready to go.
Just point it at my head.
Or heart.
Whatever you want.
- I'm not going to shoot you.
- Come on!
Please?
Thanks.
- I feel like I can do it.
- You can.
I'm not gonna kill you.
Just go.
I'm not goin'.
So, this is how it stands:
I'm too chicken to kill myself.
You won't kill me,
which I think says a lot.
I'll kill you,
and then I'll be able to commit suicide.
I really don't wanna do this,
Jasmine.
Can't we try again?
Trust me?
I don't know.
A relationship
is nothing Without trust.
Hold it!
Hold it, hold it, hold it!
You would really kill me
and then yourself?
You really can't live without me?
You love me that much?
Aside from the obvious,
you are the best boyfriend I've ever had.
I mean, you listen to me.
You never hit me or laugh at what I say,
unless I'm trying to be funny.
Your teeth are so straight.
Promise me
that you will always treat me right.
I promise.
These people you shot,
they were really bad people, right?
- Right.
- I mean, we're talking really bad people.
Like killers, molesters, psychos,
that type.
Worse. Much worse.
Okay.
This can work.
- That was close.
- Yeah...
Champagne?