Hudsucker State Penitentiary
No, no...
Just fried Gurwitz
You're next, Ajax
But I'm innocent, innocent I tell ya
Don't give them the satisfaction
Ajax!
Well, good luck kid, | give my regards to God
Come on, I got a seat for ya!
Say, you look like | a couple of reasonable fellows
so let me explain what's going on here
I'm not supposed to be here!
It's all a big mistake
It's not hard killing and
these things do happen and
naturally I can explain everything
see I only worked for | Mr Odegard and Mr Trend
I was an employee in the security shop
and Mr Odegard wasn't | a very nice guy and...
Don't sit up Vic!
I guess he was planning to | sell the shop right up
from under Mr Trend's nose
Oh, tell me Odegard | dear l-o-b-e love it
Did it die, did it... | trip your alarm?
Frankly, Renaldo, what you do | with this shop
after you bought it | doesn't interest me in the least
Let's keep this little transaction | to ourselves
I wouldn't want my partner | to know he's losing his business
Somehow, Mr Trend | must have found out about it
Mr Trend wasn't such a bad guy
but he and his wife have spent...
their whole life into that business | and...and...
Mr Trend would have done anything | for his wife, anything
Hello, exterminators, Trend?
Are you there?
Give me the word, | come on
We Kill All Sizes
Tonight, you'll be working late, alone...
and make it quick
I don't want him to suffer
Do you hear that? | He doesn't want him to suffer!
Helene, I'll never let that rat destroy | our happiness
you can count on it
So, sssooo you see...
I had no idea Mr Trend | was up to something
nobody did, | he was between the two partners
:...I had nothing to do with it
:f you could only find Nancy, | she's my witness
if you could only find her | she'll tell you I'm totally innocent
She'll tell you the whole time | I was across the street from the shop
installing the video security system
in Mr Trend's apartment building
Mr Trend!
Honey, I'm home
Who is it?
It's me Mr Trend!
Oh, hi! | Vic, what's on your mind?
It's only a stamp thing, | it's a broom closet!
Well, one more camera
Mr. Trend and it's...
back to the shop
Fine, back to the...
You know Vic, | I'm glad we ran into each other
in this amusing fashion
For a long time now | we've been working hard with you
you know you're always been | more than just an employee
to Helene and :
Honey, I'm home
You find this work appealing | don't you Vic?
And how, Mr Trend!
But have you ever thought | about the grand design?
You know, | there's something missing in there Vic
A door Mr Trend?
What's behind the door Vic?
Oh,... Oh...Jeez,...
Mr. Trend I'd love to have it | for you but on my salary
a larger apartment is...
I'm not talking about the anteroom, | Vic...
I'm talking about | the little princess inside
Lord knows I'll do anything for Helene
Don't go back to the shop
Take the rest of the day off, | now you go out and find a little princess
that you'd do anything for her, | now you go out here and find yours
Oh, Thanks Mr. Trend
Just make sure that... | she knows who's the boss
Okay-okay Mr. Trend
How are you Colonel?
Adequate
One might be loving hell of a storm
You know how I can tell?
No, how?
Steel plate in my head
Yes sir, career was no picnic
Word of advice son, | when you hook up for a gee
don't fuck with the silly that lives out
Shields with nobody but present arms
Yes Sir, there is one a woman | I can take care of herself...
all by herself...
Taking care of herself, | that's important but two people
taking care of each other, | that's romance...romance
Let's see:
How to Talk to Girls
chapter one: | The perfect woman
Of course the perfect woman | is not just gonna walk into my life, Gee...
Ohhooooooooo. Holy bolly!
Oh! my goodness, are you OK?
Come on fuck, | you're in the middle of the road!
You're a maniac!
:ncredible, | I've never seen anything like that!
Are you all right? | Oh, oh!!
Oh you've got it in here... Jesus!
One more thing child, | don't you ever call me a maniac
Are you all right?
Yeah, are you all right?
Me? | Yes
Excuse me?
What?
Oh, :... :...I thought you... | said something
No
Oh...you didn't?
Well...Thanks again
Oh! Would you... | Iike...to have...
some lunch some evening?
I'm sorry, No!
Ah, or a cup of coffee?
No, no, really, :...
Ah, Ok!
No, that's not...really... :...
:f you're not hungry | maybe we could just chat...
Hey, hey!
...I've got the rest of my day off and...
Renaldo!
Hi! Hey cupcake
Say, where were you?
I had to walk home from work
Oh! :... Oh :... | ran into an old army buddy
and I was detained
Hi, I'm Vic
Glad to know you
Say, what the hell, | in the neighborhood
what do you say
you and I go out | and draw a couple of hours, huh?
Well, I don't know...
The date then | 8 o'clock Rialto Caf?, hey...
Well, Okay!
Socially the man's a genius, | I wonder if he's read this book
Bye Baby!
Good bye Renaldo, good bye!
Nobody... in the city... | I ain't seen nothing like this...
Storm! City in Chaos!
Are you OK?
Jesus, I don't know
Did you see that?
Helene, please come away | from the window
:s that Mr Odegard's car down there?
Honey, this roast is absolutely delicious
:s Mr Odergard working late tonight?
No, he went home, | to eat his dinner
he was very hungry when he went home
Ho, it looks like | there is a light on down there
Helene, your food's getting cold
He's still there honey | it's half passed 7 o'clock
I didn't know he'd still there honey
I didn't know that Mr Odergard | would be working late tonight
Wait, I think somebody's with him
I'm going down there
Get off that fucking window!
I'm sorry
I'll go down
You can't go out in this... | terrible weather
Don't call anybody
I'll see what's going on
Remember what I said
I didn't expect him in the shop tonight
it's a complete surprise to me, | a total surprise...and...
You'd like that wouldn't you baby?
A thousand guys would give | a thousand bucks to have dinner
with a girl like that
Just look at that guy
I'm not that kind of girl!
Well, with a little of practice | you could learn to be
Nice tie!
Ooh! $ 76
Ok, here is forty
you took the dinner, | I had the appetizer
Call me a sport
I'd call you a heel!
So I'm a heel
So whatever? So are you
Maybe I'm just a guy who hates heels
Maybe I'm a heel | who hates guys who hate heels
Oh yeah? | Well maybe I'm a guy...
Oh, ah...
Loser
Oh oh in the eye, noodles
No one! No one!
What the hell am I doing here?
I got a Jesus Christ
how do I get myself into this?
So partner...
Nobody makes a fool out of | Ernest Aloysius Trend
now everything's hunky-dory
No witnesses, | I know Officer
I couldn't say where he is
Enemies? Not that I know of, knew of...
Yes | Donald was very much beloved by all
Of course, sure he's all right
Ah, ha, ha...!
Ernest, is everything all right?
Yes fine.... the shop
Are you sure?
...back door...
Ok, and come on honey, | your dinner is getting cold
Ok, I'm coming home dear, good bye
I used to think that the key to | happiness...
was the insulation and | repair of small electrical appliances
but...but I don't claim to know
about the grand design
but lately I haven't been able to
shake the feeling that | something's missing
and I'm not talking | about the four year at the anteroom
Cherish is the word I'd use to | describe all the feelings that I have
I didn't hear for you inside
I don't know how many times | I wish that I had told you
I don't know how many times | I wish that I could hold you
I don't know how many times...
I wish that I could | mould you into someone...
I haven't seen you here before
I like that kind of woman
You're cute
Keep talking baby, | maybe you'll tell me something
I don't know about me
...I don't know how many times | I wish that I could hold you
I don't how many times I wish...
Arthur,... For all we know, | this is the guy that hired us
Now it's a two for one sale
So, I guess, what I'm trying to say is | that the perfect woman is
is pretty much in the eye of the beholder
Strange how some dames dick round
where they can have frame rare
Oh you're rare!
No one can be perfect on the alarm
Each person needs someone to
believe them, to see them as being | someone special
people shouldn't be afraid to | take care of each other
Nancy, today, when I saw you fall
all I wanted to do is take care of you
I did... didn't you...
Wow!
Ernest Aloysius Trend, | what on Earth is keeping you?
Have a cab? | You'll pay for that
I don't want to break a hundred
I take the bag sir
Lady, you haven't seen nothing...yet!
God mother's son, | what is all that work about here?
Victor, you're a very nice guy
and I appreciate what you try | to do for me tonight
but this is one woman | who can take care of herself
Vic, would you lend me $ 36?
Sure!
:f I had $ 36...
I don't usually walk around with | that much money on me!
So where on Earth | am I going to get $ 36?
Ladies and gentlemen
the winner of tonight's Rialto dance riot | will receive $ 36
Woman found torn limb from limb | in west side apartment
Operator
It's an emergency... | oh please, help me...
there's a man...ah!
Well you see my husband | was across the street and...
ah...ah...before that, I've seen | Mr Odegard
I've seen the car too late and :...
Where am :?
I like it that way
Help! Help!
Stop it you little punk
I'll kick your ass
Buckwheat I was going to | give you an advantage
...Iook at God sweetheart, | Mister or use the button
what used to be and what made it
Mr Yarman?
Right down Mrs. Trend there's one way | to catch the rat in the dark
you wait
Rat, he just got to | show you his pink little ass
You can't seem to catch this rat!
I'll get you
I even made what you could get away | from Mr Yarman
You see?
It's a long road that's got no end
To catch a rat, you got to find him first
Right
A rat like me is hard to find
Oh honey, look at that man!
I'm not getting involved
Hey, what's so funny of this rat to us
Taxi
Some night hah?
Some night? | It couldn't have possibly been worst
Look at the bright side
You and your bright side?
There is no bright side
You're not being rational Nancy
of course there is a bright side
No bright side, no bright side, | no bright side, NO BR:GHT S:DE!
Nancy, I'm going to pretend | I didn't hear that... Oh!
I can take care of myself
Of course you can, Nancy
but taking care of each other, | that's what's important
Your Gift Will Help A Needy Child | On Christmas
You're ruining my day
What did I do?
What's all that noise?
Car 9, car 9 | report to Watchtower apartments
...who are you anyway...
POLICE
Come on, come on
You elevator
Come on, God...
I'm Captain in this elevator...
and we are stopping at every floor
Nancy, once we get you back | in your apartment and all cleaned up
you'll feel like a million bucks, | here we go!
OK Nancy, my eyes are closed
you can hand me that dress now
Can I open my eyes yet?
Not yet!
Behind you
Open up please, Police
Where did you get the Negro, Butch?
Elevator
What kind of paranoid schizo | could kill a man in cold blood
and then jelly up his face | with shaving cream?
My dad!
Son!
I don't know what I ever saw...
in that heel in the first place...
Oh, he's not such a bad guy, | just a little confused
I'm confused too, Vic
No Nancy, I think | your emotions are wonderful...
I wish I could be as expressive as you
you were so free when you kissed me
in the restaurant and then you slapped
I think you're wonderful...
:... have to get some more Sudzo | for that dress
I'll be right back
Vic?
I've just been thinking about | what you said...
and it's very sweet but the truth is...
I haven't been completely honest | with my feelings about you...
Thank you for helping me tonight
No problem
Of all the men I've known, | none of them would have done
what you did for me tonight
Gosh!
I just want you to know : | I think you're a very wonderful
and a very special person
It's not often I get a chance | to meet a girl like you
Mrs Trend... you'd better get back to | your apartment
there are a couple of maniacs | loose in this building
I told you never to call me that
Arthur!
Every man for himself
Ready or not, here I come
Come back here
Hey, baby, why don't you come |over to my pad?
we'll have a scotch and sofa
You heel
So I'm a heel
So what of it
I'm not such a bad guy, or am I?
Get out of the way
Gotcha!
I got him! Oh my God!
A:R FRE:GHT / URUGUAY
Would you cease immediately, | put her down this instant
you filthy little man
Who's gonna stop me you old bat
Your little sad dogs?
That's right
Hey where are you going?
Hey you're a real witch, son of a bitch
Hey, what a drivers
Wait a minute, I'm going to get you
Nancy!
What's the trouble son?
Some maniacs are after my girl...
and I wonder if you'd let me take your...
Are you in love son?
Yes sir, I reckon I do
She sticks a little on third
I don't claim to know a whole lot | about the grand design
Those fellows are gonna suck | on some of you
Arthur, go ahead, go on
No, no,...
Go ahead, take one
No, no I don't need it
Arthur, I tell you it's OK
Go on
Oh, we'll get her
Silly, get out of the way
Asshole!
I'm coming Nancy!
May way for my car!
You're under citizen's arrest
It's justice
Should I stop?
Not just yet
Nancy, I need petrol
What petrol?
What?
Oh, you're there!
Right Mister!
Look at your back!
Medium or well done?
I want my shocker
Mister, you've done some bad things
I'm gonna deal out some swift justice...
this one's for bothering my girl...
this one's for giving me this...
this one's for ruining my date
and here is one for | all the folks everywhere
OK son, I'm out, please don't kill me...
well...:... I'm sorry
Sometimes, sorry is not good enough
Wait, from now on I'll be good
I swear it's the truth | just more gent, friend
All right, | but just this once
Put it there buddy
Well it look like | it's the end of the road for you Vic
Take a little...
Arthur... Arthur!
Victor!
Nancy, Nancy
I got you Nancy
You still don't want stop to this?
I certainly intend to
This is a nightmare
And away we go!
Hold on kid, we're almost there
You wanna play rough hey
Let's go
Eat guardrail, fatso!
Fatso?
Nancy, Nancy, jump! Nancy, jump!
I can't make it
You can make it
I'm too far
Gimme your hand Nancy
Nancy!
Hold on! Are you all right?
No Nancy, please, oh, oh, ok
not the hair, goodness, | oh, my goodness
oh, are you all right? oh no!
Oh who are those guys anyway?
Oh, Gee.. I don't know
I mean, where do they come from?
oh, I can't believe...
:...:...Well, how did they get you?
Nancy, I came into your room
and I thought you didn't care about me
Oh! Vic, I do care... you save...
And then I hit the water
so you see I'm practically a hero,...
oh thanks, so if it hadn't been for me
there is no telling how many people | those maniacs might have killed
Tell it to Saint Peter!
Saint Peter? | Oh yeah that's a good one!
But seriously, if you could just find
Nancy she'll prove every thing I told you
Nancy, Nancy, you probably | killed her just like all the others
She is alive, I tell you, | she was on the bridge
I don't know what happened to her
but maybe if you ran a picture of her | in the paper
Ah! sure! Yeah, | we'll run a picture of her?
Yeah!
Yeah!
Next to your opening
Yeah! Take my...
Well, I still have five minutes
Hold it! Hold it!
Am I too late?
No
Oh! God, I didn't want to miss this
Sayonara!
That man is innocent!
Nancy!
Oh come on!
Victor, darling, you have no idea
When you fell off, I thought
you were dead, I wondered for days
What were you wondering about?
And then, those sisters took me in
Hi! I'm Vic
I was about to take my vow of | eternal silence when I heard
this horrible mistake in the newspapers
Can you good sisters | corroborate this young lady story?
They can't speak!
They've taken the vow of eternal silence
Too bad!
Right!
Hero executed...almost!
Nuns break 40 year vow of silence
She likes me!