1
I read somewhere once that
there has to be
a balance of sorrow and joy
for the world to keep turning.
That if all we ever felt was
pleasure,
then we wouldn't have any
pain to compare it to.
I guess that means
every time someone starts living,
someone else starts to die.
And then are those places
where the wires cross.
I'm leaving now. I'll see you
in a little while for dinner.
Love you too. Bye.
Katie! I didn't know you
were gonna be here tonight!
Katie.
Why did you do that to me?
(SCREAMING)
(MUSIC)
- Man, execution style.
- This is the second one this week, man.
- Nobody deserves that.
- Excuse me, sir.
I need you behind the
police line.
Sir, uh, can I have a
word with you please?
Um, I was just leaving and I
heard the commotion and
Right, how exactly are you
connected to the victim?
Um
We're going to have to
discuss exactly what
transpired here tonight, sir.
Police! Stop!
(MUSIC)
Are you insane coming in
here like that?
Shh! You'll have to hide
me, Charlie just got hit.
- The cops are in on it.
- What?
If they take me in I'm
gonna get pinned.
Fucking cops. Go in that door
and lock it from the inside.
Don't make a fucking sound.
Is anybody in here?
Be right with you.
Hands where I can see them!
Hands! Hands!
Hands! Turn around,
turn around, turn around!
No, Katie, I can't forgive you.
I mean, you made me look
foolish in front of everyone.
No! You've ruined it
forever. No, that's not it.
Fuck. Fuck.
Of course I forgive
you. I know.
You're just scared.
We have to work on what keeps us together.
No, that's not it either.
Okay. What do I say?
I don't know what to say.
Give me the fucking keys.
Come on, come on, come
on, give me the fucking keys.
Fucking bullshit. Fuck this
shit.
I told you I ain't got a key
to it.
- Would you stop fucking yelling?
- No sir, I don't smell anything!
- Come on, let's get the fuck out
of here, man. - Fucking retard.
I'll lock up just to be on
the safe side.
It's alright. They're gone.
What the fuck are you thinking
bringing them cops in here?
I'm fucking clean now.
I got to piss!
Now tell me what the
fuck's going on.
I don't know. Look!
I'm new to this!
I mean there's, there's
a senator, a business man
a runaway and a dead girl.
Somehow that got Charlie killed.
That's all I know.
Charlie's dead?
Charlie's dead.
Hey, um, why weren't the cops
able to get in the closet?
Slipped the key off the
ring before they came in.
That was slick.
I owe you one, man.
You still here?
It's the end of the world already?
Fucked over a lot of people for you.
Oh, come on!
Fuck!
(FOOTSTEPS)
OK, Mark. Time for a little
inventory.
You're driving west with your end
of the world fund under your seat.
Chasing after a girl you've never
met for reasons you can't explain.
The only friend you have is dead.
The cops knew who you were,
ergo some senator is on your ass
and you've probably
been framed for murder.
Is that about it?
(SIGH.)
Yes, Mark, except for the unfortunate
fact that you're talking to yourself
like a goddamned lunatic
because apparently there isn't a
single good radio station in the
entire fucking state of Ohio.
And that, my old friend, is the
ocean of shit in which you swim.
Did I leave anything out?
Well, you do sort of feel like a
creepy pervert, but that could just be
residual guilt from way
back when.
Have a nice day!
God!
- Guys, this is Amanda.
- Hi Amanda!
We can have lots of fun!
Some people at the beach
said you guys would, um,
pay to photographer me?
- Yeah, we will.
- How's it work?
Well you just stand right over here and,
uh, we're going to take
some pictures and we're gonna put
them on one of our modeling websites.
You ever want to be a model?
Sure, I guess. Who doesn't?
Cause you are definitely pretty
enough. Wouldn't you say, buddy?
Oh, any day of the week!
And Brad knows what he's talking
about cause he's in advertising.
Where do we start?
Well, Johnny, get
this girl a shot!
So, Amanda, what do you drink?
I don't have to take my
clothes off or anything, do I?
Well, that is where the
money is.
I mean, everyone can use a little
extra cash, right? (LAUGHS)
Where's that shot?
Shit. Oh, what did I miss?
Where you headed?
Guess I'll know when I
get there.
It's not safe to hitchhike.
Pretty young girl like you.
You're lucky I saw you.
There's no telling what
people would do to you.
Well, I have pepper spray.
And it's kind of the reason
why I'm out here.
If someone wants to hurt or kill me,
then that's obviously
all the world is worth.
I'd rather die than live in
a world like that.
That's nonsense.
Is it?
Who put that fool
notion in your head?
No one. Well, I mean
obviously someone did.
But no one in particular,
so you could say either
with equal validity.
You seem like a pretty smart
girl to be spouting nonsense.
You have a lot of fast food bags
on your floor board. You
must be on some trip.
I am.
And the way you keep
looking in the rear view mirror
makes me think you're
running from someone.
That's none of your business.
Did he hit you?
Look, I'm doing you a favor.
If you know what's good for you,
you'll keep your mouth shut.
Nothing should be private.
If no one knows about it,
it doesn't exist.
I certainly don't agree.
I don't think I can learn
what I need to learn from you.
What on earth are
you talking about?
Do you ever cry in bed?
During sex, I mean?
I have.
I mean, sometimes it's just too
strong or too much and it's
scary because, cause I don't
know what will happen
and it feels like something
wants to jump out of me.
It never does.
I will not be having this
conversation with a child.
You can let me
off at the next exit.
(MUSIC)
Hi.
It's a long story, but
I'm looking for my cousin.
Have you been here all day?
Since 1:00 this afternoon.
Great. Have you seen this girl?
As a matter of fact, I have.
She came around and asked for
ways of shopping near here
and you know, and um,
Oh. Maybe I should get
the manager.
Wait, that's totally not necessary.
You know what, just, as a matter
of fact, just give me her room
number and you know what,
actually call her and ask her to
meet me in the lobby here.
I'm her cousin.
You know, I should get
the manager
No. Shit, that's not...
He wouldn't have sent
the police.
Nah, they ask too
many questions.
But I know he sent somebody.
So I can't tell you where I'm
going. It's even risky for me
to tell you where I've
been. But I have to get
everything lined up.
Still, I'm disappointed.
I feel like the same
person I was a few days ago.
This is going to be much
more work than I thought.
But I guess there's still time.
Time can be measured
in distance.
Seventeen hundred miles on a
map doesn't seem so long.
But in terms of what I need to figure out,
it seems much further.
(SIGH)
It's hard to really know
myself.
I mean even though I've always
been putting myself
under a microscope, this
whole time
you were busy living,
all I could do was wonder
how other people were seeing me.
If I never learned to be
who I was supposed to be.
Isn't that just as
bad as killing myself?
(CROWD TALKING)
(SCREAMING)
(PUNCHING)
(MUSIC)
(DOOR CLOSES)
This card isn't working
either, man.
Try this one please.
Alright.
Pssh. Nope.
Same thing.
Look, there's gotta
be something wrong
with your computers cause my
cards are all up to date.
No, the reader was
working well last night,
so I don't know what seems to
be going on right now.
Then again, these things do go
on a glitch from time to time.
So I'm pretty sure
it's not your card.
Do you have another
method of payment?
Sure. I guess.
OK.
How much is it?
Damn.
So it wasn't by
choice, but it was.
All he did was
pull over and ask.
After all those horror stories
you hear about little
girls and strangers.
Or of people finding razor
blades in their Halloween candy.
He asked and I got in.
I've been looking for
you for so long.
I know I can't ask you
to be the answer to a question
that I never had the balls to ask,
but I owe you. Believe me.
I knew what would
happen, didn't I?
So now I leave you
with these recordings.
So you can see what you've
made.
All I really want to do is
just take something innocent
and... and leave it that
way.
You know, just protect
it and watch it grow up
without, without getting dirty.
You are archivist,
historian, philosopher,
psychologist, detective, lover.
Killer.
I will find the intersection
of these two truths
and you will bear witness to
all that we are.
Now, you won't see
this before you get here,
if you come at all,
but, but if you come,
we have to go Mexico,
because we're both in big trouble.
I should start from the start.
(MUSIC)
You can ask, but
you cannot tell.
This is my world,
you're just watching it.
From now on your emails are
going to be deleted unread
and for those of you who are
still in my good graces,
this might be my last
cast for a while.
I have to leave sooner
than I thought.
Oh my God! Oh, dad, there's
somebody outside my window!
God damnit! Now it's
gone too far.
What? What? What's
gone too far?
My name is Eric Spunkmeyer.
It's a long and stupid story.
(MUSIC)
What's new, Charlie?
What the fuck is this?
What's that say?
Critical Nexus.
What's it mean?
Don't know yet. In the first
place, I don't what I'm doing
or who I'm doing it for.
Picture's off a website
that publishes local crime scene photos
that are too real to make the news.
Oh, I can't talk
about the spooky fuckers.
Ask me about the
regular fuckers.
I got a brother and
sister playing grab ass.
No, thanks.
So what's with all this
dumb drunk girls business?
Look, if it's all the same,
I'd rather not talk about it, alright?
We sold the website and all of
our collective souls.
They can have all of it.
But that's about all I
have to say about it.
Sorry, Chief. Six months
sitting at a bar
drinking together, I never knew
what you did for a living.
My curiosity got the best of
me. I was out of line.
I apologize.
That's OK. But I'm not proud
of everything that went down.
That's funny, a little money usually
makes the morals all better.
Nah. We don't own our
morals. They own us.
Getting rich ain't
always about being bad.
Take the asshole who
invented the hula hoop.
A plastic circle and he got
richer than a French dessert.
Would you like another?
No, I'm OK.
And you know what, I bet he
sleeps better than I do.
I'm sure he does. Arthur Spud
Melon. Died in 2002.
Why do you know that?
This is uncool.
Don't lecture me about uncool.
You don't know
anything about uncool.
Whatever. What's her name
again? Exactly how old is she?
Look, her name is Laura.
Her ID says she's 21,
so everything's cool.
We're just treading water
in a whole ocean of shit.
You know the world isn't that
bad. I'm done with this shit.
(SIGH) I know.
My dad thinks I'm a
terrorist or something.
He checks my email, he
checks my cell phone bill.
He reads my notes. He
looks at my pictures.
For all I know, he
sniffs my underwear.
Look out, I have
al-Qaeda in my panties.
I have a VMD.
I know you'd like to sniff my
panties, DX and no
I won't send you any.
A girl has to draw the line somewhere.
No, KX, he doesn't know about
my blog.
But it's only a matter of time.
He knows a lot about
computers. It must be hard
making all those 0's and 1's
jump from the company computers
all the way down to Mexico.
JX wants to know why I call
everyone by their
first initial and an X.
Be nice to JX. Every one
of you was a newb once.
I don't know, JX.
Maybe it's because
it makes you a little
less real to me.
Or maybe because any of you
could be my ex-boyfriend.
I can't tell you my ex's
name. I never knew it.
No, PX, I haven't
started cutting again.
I just did that to, well,
keep watching. Maybe it'll
all make sense.
Sometimes I just feel so much
pain inside
that I have to make the outside
match it.
I don't know why I did it.
But everything's about
to change.
I don't know how. But it will.
But here's what I do know.
How to seduce a genius.
You didn't seduce me,
Katie. I let you seduce me.
So I have this little baby...
Thanks, Kevin.
See you get my 4G
and I get free shows.
Who got the short end of
that stick?
So tonight's contest...
If you were a computer geek,
what would I wear to seduce you?
Let's say the 5th comment
wins and I will
try my best to
accommodate in a private show.
I got everything. I'm
hardwired into your life.
Kevin! Would you please get off
that thing and come and eat?
I'm right in the middle of things.
Please set some aside for me.
Parobek's going for a
new max today, huh?
Oh yeah, working the
chest today.
Wimp weight and hombre'
secreto.
- What's up Elvin?
- Good day, Elvin.
So Wimp Weight, I bought
some smart bells for you
and I was thinking about offering
aerobics on Wednesday nights.
Interested?
Don't worry about me, Elvin,
I'll get where I need to be.
Not coming in twice a week, you
won't. You gotta want it.
Back in prison, I'd have
made you my bitch.
Really? Didn't think you'd
ever go for a guy like me.
Isn't that sweet.
How are you?
Real good Elvin. But I'm not
going to tell you
about it, cause it would
only make you realize
how empty your own life is.
Ain't that some shit. Mark,
let me ask you something.
You one of those internet
millionaires, right?
I don't know where you got that
idea, but what can I do for you?
That's just the word on the
street. You ain't in computers?
The street's got it wrong man.
I was rich on paper once, but
then the dot com crash
fucked me.
I wanna do a website that
just has movie clips on it.
Like all the bad ass stuff,
like The Magnificent Seven,
or Charles Bronson kicking ass.
I wanna play it on the
big screen up in here,
so everyone will come
and get all energized.
What you think?
It's a cool idea, man,
but I don't know shit about websites.
My expertise is in the
area of losing money.
If you wanna lose money,
give me a call.
I got some work in the back.
Holler if you need anything.
This business is weird as hell.
In the first place,
the brother and sister are doing the nasty.
Their old man stated in his
will that older brother
and older sister would be cut out
if they were found to be having
an incestuous relationship.
That makes sense, I guess.
No it doesn't. What in all
fuck is the world
coming to when you
have to specify in your will
that your son and daughter
shouldn't bang each other?
Ya'll doing more talking
than lifting.
Hey, we are lifting
moral weights.
We don't hold it up,
all of civilization will collapse.
Hell, let it all fall.
And to top it off,
the guy I'm supposed to be spying on
turns out to be very well connected.
I mean, this is a pile of shit
that stacks as high
as a Senator's office.
No shit.
Which Senator?
The less you know, the
better for both of us.
But get this, now the guy says
his daughter is missing and he
contacted me to do the job.
If I didn't know
better, I'd say they
were trying to set me up.
So wait, Guy A is asking
you to spy on Guy B.
Except I don't
know who Guy A is.
Then Guy B calls you out of
the blue to find his daughter.
- That's about it.
- That's...
It's weird as hell.
But why would? -They
wouldn't, unless Guy A
thinks I can figure out who he
is based on what I know
- about Guy B.
- Can you?
Maybe.
(MUSIC)
I just think people want a
little left to the imagination
is all I'm saying.
Not on this site they won't.
Guys, this is the internet,
man everything is wide open.
And I mean that in
more ways than one.
Yeah, well how clever.
You know if they want to
see chicks in bikinis,
can't they just pick up
a Sports Illustrated?
That ain't what I'm saying.
The trick is, you want to
make it seductive, sexy,
leave people wanting more.
You guys gotta listen to me.
I'm an ad major, I know what sells.
He is an ad major, he has
a point.
The point to porn is objectification.
Ultimately what your doing
when you're jacking off to
that girl in the lingerie,
Brad, is you're stripping
her of that lingerie
and everything else and
you're making her yours.
No, dude, that's bullshit.
I mean, I just like just tits in my face.
Tits. Love it!
She's all your personal
failure right there to be
fucked with your eyeballs. Why
do you think the money shot
always happens on the face?
Porn is all about getting even.
Yeah, but what do you
want to do with it?
Yeah, what does Dr. Freud
want?
Well, what people crave is intimacy,
right?
But not just physical
intimacy, they want to see
chicks in their most vulnerable
moments, in ways
that make them so low that
anyone can have them.
It's the basest and
most fundamental truth.
I mean these pictures are good,
Brad, but I don't feel any
connection to them. I don't feel shame or
sorrow. There's nothing dirty about 'em.
No one over the age of 14
would ever jack off to those.
Dude! That is fucked
up.
I mean these pictures are kind of lame,
but...
I mean then you take
better pictures than that.
Come on, man, I had to
convince her to do it
and she didn't want to do
it in the first place.
Plus I promised her I wouldn't
show them to anyone.
I mean, come on, we can't
show these on the website.
Please.
Aw, come on, like
she would even know.
Man, a picture on the
internet is gonna be like
a needle in a million
fucking haystacks.
But look, while you two assholes
were jawing this to death,
I got it. We're going to
have different sections.
We're gonna have a section for nudes,
a section for lingeries,
a section for a little
sexier pics,
and we'll have a section for
whatever psychotic bullshit
your dick dreams up.
I'm getting more shots.
(SIGH)
Guess I'm gonna have
to cut it out of ya.
Is she that girl they found in that
Jewel parking lot this morning?
I wouldn't be that lucky.
But the guy says he wants
me to start looking ASAP.
He thinks she might
hurt herself.
That's how kids are these days.
You'd have to be crazy to act normal.
So why'd he call you
and not the cops?
You tell me. I don't
believe any of this
as far as I can
shove it up my ass.
Which ain't, mind you, very
far.
But I gotta cover my own back.
I need a favor.
(MUSIC)
(CAR DRIVING)
What the fuck are you doing?
Hello, Mr. & Mrs.
Jardine.
Has your daughter ever
expressed an interest in
the adult film business?
I'm here to help.
(SIGH)
Fuck.
(DOORBELL)
Mr. Parobek, glad you
could make it.
Actually, Mr. Parobek was called
away on an urgent matter
this afternoon. I'm Mark
Jameson. I'm his main assistant.
OK, come on in.
Great.
So, when was the last
time you saw Katie?
- Two and a half days ago.
- OK.
(PHONE RING) One second.
Yeah.
No. No.
No, listen, you tell
Jeff... OK.
I talked to him already,
alright. He knows he's gotta...
Listen, I'm right in the
middle of a meeting.
OK, I've gotta go, OK,
but don't forget what
I told you. Alright?
OK. Alright. Bye.
Sorry about that, alright.
I had a little urgent business there.
That's no problem.
So uh, what line of work are you in,
Mr. Jardine?
I don't think that matters
regarding this discussion, does it?
Well, it must be important.
Now you listen, Mr.
Jameson.
I don't appreciate that Mr.
Parobek didn't come by himself.
Now are you going to help
me find my daughter?
Or do I have to
get somebody else?
Look, sometimes we say things
just to piss our clients off
and they slip some
information. OK?
But listen, I can see you're on
the level, so let's see
if we can figure this
out. OK?
OK.
Now, did she leave a note?
No. A picture.
Of what?
Of herself.
Can I see that picture, please?
I'd rather you not.
Mr. Jardine, we need to see that picture,
don't you think?
OK.
(RUSTLING PAPERS)
That's interesting.
Mr. Jameson, I brought you
here to find my daughter,
not ogle over her body.
What do you think
"Critical Nexus" means?
That's why we brought you here.
Look, who took this picture?
I think she did. That was
her last obsession,
was photography, and I'm sure
glad she stopped doing that.
I can't get her off the
god damned computer now.
Can I see her room?
Sure.
We're about to take
this show on the road
so it's time I get to the
heart of my discontent.
(MUSIC)
It's the crossroads of
the little and the big.
The metaphorical and the real.
I know where I'm going,
but not how I'll get there.
And I know who'll come,
but I don't know your name.
I don't ever want to
know anyone's name.
(SIGH)
And to that one viewer who's
getting a little too demanding,
knock it off. Critical
Nexus is my blog.
If you want to call the
shots, start your own.
The web is a free
country, so if I ban you,
I'm sure you'll find a way back
in, but stop contacting me.
OK.
(DRAWERS OPEN, CLOSE)
(FOLDING PAPER)
Actually, would it be alright if I,
uh, looked at that?
Well, I checked it,
it's password protected.
You know I can actually
get around that,
but I would have to take
it back to our office,
would that be a
problem for you?
No that's fine.
OK. Well, is there,
um anything else
you can think of to tell me?
Any friends she could be
staying with, um,
anything unusual about her behavior?
Any ideas at all about
where she might be?
No.
I checked with her friends'
parents, she's not there.
That's all I have.
Hell, her behavior is so strange,
she's a god damned teenager.
Anything else?
Well, she stole 50,000 from
me when she left.
(MUSIC)
One rep, that's all?
Hell, that ain't even a rep.
You didn't repeat nothing.
I just wanted to see
if I could do it once.
What's got into you, man?
(SIGH) I don't know, man.
There's this girl. It's this
thing Charlie put me
up to,
and she's missing and I got to digging
through her computer.
She kind of reminds me
of what I thought someone
would have been like
if I'd known her better.
Huh?
I found her blog and a
bunch of her pictures.
She looks like any other
normal girl.
But all she talks about
is sex and death.
She's never had an orgasm.
I mean,
what do you think about that?
I think 15 will get you 20.
That's not what I'm
talking about.
Do you ever wish you could
do your life over?
Ain't no use,
you'd still have to be someone anyway.
(DOOR OPENS)
Hey, Chief. Jesus,
what the fuck?
- I look real good, huh?
- Can I get you a towel?
The only thing you can
do is lay low.
This whole thing's exploded.
What whole thing?
Not that it matters, but
how's Little Miss Missing?
Well, she's missing,
and I think the old man
pilfered his company,
then the kid ran off
with a chunk of it
with on a joy ride.
Yeah, you're pretty
sharp. He did pilfer it
and a whole lot more.
And it all gets rerouted to Mexico.
That's where my friend,
the Senator comes in.
I'm headed over to the library
to do a little more research
but before the street thins out too much,
I'm skipping town.
I recommend you do the same.
He fucking sent four guys after
me and I know one of em's a cop.
- I let him play me.
- Jardine sent four guys after you?
No, Jardine's a snake,
but he's not a bad snake.
He's just in way over his head.
Blaine Jeffers.
He's the king cobra.
Senator Jeffers, the
anti-abortion guy?
Nobody's gonna believe this.
So Jardine and Jeffers
were setting you up.
No, Jardine was working for Jeffers.
Jeffers didn't trust him
and hired me to look into it.
But I found out more
than I was supposed to
and somehow it got back to him.
So why'd Jardine hire
you to find his...
Dumb luck as far as I can tell.
So where's that leave
us with the Katie kid?
I'm a me and you're a
you. There ain't no us.
I just have have to
keep my ass out of a sling.
You don't have to do anything
except not know what I know.
Is the back door open?
Yeah, go on.
- Wait, Charlie, what do I need...
- Not be seen with me.
Wait 10 minutes before
you leave.
Lock up your place and go
visit family somewhere.
I'm sorry I got you into this.
The real bitch is, I voted for
that self-righteous prick!
(SIGH)
Well, that's some shit.
That's some shit.
(MUSIC)
A mas... master,
master...
Mister.
Mister...
Mister... master.
Mister...
Mister! Mister
Green Jeans!
Yeah, fuck that guy.
(POLICE SCANNER)
Excuse me, sir,
I need you behind the police line.
OK,
OK.
Excuse me, sir,
can I have a word
with you please?
I was just leaving, I'm sorry.
Are you in any way
connected to the victim?
- No sir.
- Is that our boy?
Sir, we're gonna need to recap
exactly what transpired
here tonight.
Hey man! Go,
go, go, go!
(MUSIC)
I'm a me and you're a
you. There ain't no us.
Wait Charlie, what do I do?
Not be seen with me.
Wait 10 minutes before you leave.
Lock up your place and go
visit family somewhere.
I'm sorry I got you into this.
(MUSIC)
(MUSIC)
Ah sister, good luck and wish you the best,
you know in Vegas.
Win enough money and remember
I and I still, ya know,
I will lookin' out for you sayin',
"bless, beautiful darling."
- Take care, ya hear.
- Thanks, T-Jax.
(DOOR CLOSES)
Romeo, Romeo, wherefore
art thou, Romeo?
I ended up lost on a lot of
different interstates today.
But I have to keep
reminding myself that it is
not a where, but a why.
It isn't a race against
anything but myself.
I am so tired of being a
prisoner to my own body.
I mean sometimes it feels really good,
until it just stops.
Something changes.
Or my body's a burning
building and I can't
make myself jump out of the window.
My body won't let me go.
Mmm, I'll be here till morning.
Meanwhile,
there's a promising adult superstore about
a mile down the road.
I'm not sure if I want to get back
into another car after today.
More later.
Kiss, Kiss.
(MOANING)
What's wrong?
Nothing's wrong.
Is it because I wasn't a
virgin?
No. I don't care about
stuff like that.
But...
I always thought that I
would feel different after
I got this over with.
Got this over with?
This is ridiculous!
You're the third
virgin I've slept with
and none of them have
acted this weird about it.
Just take me home.
(MUSIC)
Hi. I see you have a
lot of sex toys here.
Is there anything guaranteed
to work?
Um, I'm sorry, but
you have to be 18
to be in here, so I think
you better leave.
Well, if girls like me didn't
come into places like this,
you wouldn't have a job.
Alright. Two minutes, then
out.
I'm going to buy something
that's guaranteed to work,
and then I'll go.
You, um, might want to
send someone back there.
God damnit!
There's a pocket rocket
on the back wall.
Is there any kind of guarantee?
It's a vibrator, honey,
you want a guarantee, buy a blender.
OK, I'll take it. And some of
those batteries too.
Is there a hotel or a
motel on this exit?
You got a lot of nerve coming
into a place like this
asking questions like that.
- Well?
- Quarter mile north.
And is there a mall around here?
I need to buy some new clothes.
There's an outlet mall about a
half mile on the other side.
Cash or charge?
For those of you using this
as an educational tool,
the pocket rocket
was not up to task.
I mean it, felt good at
first, but then you just
sort of lose yourself and it
doesn't mean anything anymore.
Like I totally went
numb after a while.
You buy a vibrator and
don't show?
That's not why I
gave you my baby.
Seriously, one spring,
you're just a little girl,
then by next fall you're
practically a woman.
I'm off to the wild west.
I just have to get rid
of some extra baggage first. I
feel sort of bad throwing away
new clothes, but, they just
didn't feel right.
Will I ever feel right?
If you won't talk to me,
I should at least get to see everything.
Oooh.
This just in. From the
creep zone, we have
the following fan mail:
"I wish I could get closer
to you so I could smell
what perfume you wore.
Do you wear perfume?
Deodorant? Do you douche?
What do you smell like beneath
the smells you wear as a mask?"
I would almost suspect
that my good
friend, BX is back.
But I thought I banned him.
Signing off from Toledo.
Catch me if you can.
(MUSIC)
- Hey, bud.
- What's up?
Hey listen, I'm
looking for a girl.
Yeah, me too.
No, no, no, I'm looking
for this girl.
Nice tits.
What's her name?
Her name's Katie Jardine, OK?
Well, I don't know all the
girls in these videos
and we don't keep a database
of stuff like that.
No, no, no, she's a real girl
and she was in here last night.
Oh, that girl. Shit is she
even old enough?
Listen, she's a runaway and
we're trying to find her.
With a picture of her tits?
It's the only picture I have.
Well, damn, it's gotta
be some family album.
What's her mom look like?
She was in here. What
was she looking for?
She wanted a vibrator with
a warranty and a motel.
A warranty?
Where's the motel?
A quarter mile north.
You're welcome.
(MUSIC)
Hey, what's up?
I finally found
wi-fi.
And on my way here,
wherever here is,
I had a revelation.
I think I will always equate
the little and the big because
you can't stop fearing it.
No matter how much you want
to try to trust someone.
You always know
what will happen.
You remember the scratch
of his 5 o'clock shadow,
his body hair and
the way he smelled.
And anyone can look like him,
and anyone can smell like him.
And you're always on guard
until you let your guard down
and you do stupid
things on purpose.
And you make bets with God.
And you say, "if you love
me, you'll keep me safe".
The dealer always wins.
(SIGH)
Morning. I need a room with an
internet connection, please.
OK, all of our rooms have
wireless service and data ports.
Let's see...
Um, actually,
the bank is denying your card.
They say that it's defective.
Do you have another
form of payment?
(PHONE RINGS) Hold on a sec.
OK, I understand.
Hi mom, how's it...
What? Slow down!
Slow down.
They got Elvin?
Mom, who's been by?
Tell me what they said.
Uh huh.
Uh huh.
No, he was a friend of mine.
I don't care what
dad would have said.
Dad was a drunk, racist,
child-beating asshole.
Oh, like I didn't know he would
have rather have adopted
a white baby? Whatever.
Hey, look Ma,
your phone's probably tapped,
so just for the record,
I didn't kill anyone.
Not Charlie either.
But apparently somebody
pissed off a Senator.
But do you still have
the money I gave you?
You didn't have to take it and
you did not have to spend it.
Mom, I gotta go.
Can I have my card back,
please?
Uh, actually, they're asking
me to send it back to them
because it's defective.
Alright.
(STEPS)
- Good morning.
- Hi.
Jenny B.
Hey, listen,
is there a computer I could
use to get on the web?
Or better yet,
somewhere where I could
plug in my laptop?
Sure.
Let me show you where you can plug in.
Or if you'd like to sit in the lounge,
you can access our wi-fi.
- You have wireless?
- We are a library.
Then I guess it's been a
while since I've...
You know, actually could
you also tell me
where the card catalog is?
Well, it's actually all online
now. What can I help you find?
Ah, well, I've got a few different things.
I need maps of the United States
showing roads and highways...
Um... Romeo and Juliet,
and anything you can think
of that would help me
to define the phrase
"Critical Nexus",
or play off the words
"little and big".
"The little and the big".
Hmm, interesting. I'll see
what I can find for you.
Thanks.
(COUGH)
(OPEN COMPUTER)
This should get you started.
Romeo and Juliet,
some literary criticism,
and an atlas.
Thank you.
I have no idea what I'm
looking for, but thank you.
You're welcome.
"La Petite Mort".
The little death and the big death.
Pardon?
"Die, then die, I watched her
die many times".
Jean Rhys. Wide
Saragaso Sea was my
favorite book in high school.
I wonder if that's it.
That would be it.
Should I get you a copy of it?
Uh, please. And can I also
have statistics
on female orgasms and
death, um, sex and suicide
and marriage and suicide?
Cool. I'll be right
back.
Thank you.
The dealer always wins.
(BALL BOUNCES)
Good afternoon, ladies.
What are you two working on?
We're drawing horses for
the FFA fair booth.
- Shhh!
- It's alright.
I don't mean any harm. You're
both such great artists,
I just had to see what
you were working on.
Someday, it'll be hanging
up in a museum.
- Really?
- He's just saying that.
- Really, we're busy.
- He's just being nice.
There's no harm in
being nice, is there?
We're not supposed to
talk to strangers.
Oh, I'm not really a stranger.
I come here all the time.
I guess.
Can I help you with
something, sir?
Just having a conversation.
I'm just being nice.
Jesus Christ! If the
dealer always wins,
when do I get to be the
dealer? Huh? When?
(DOOR OPENS)
- Are you girls OK?
- Yeah.
(DOOR OPENS)
Not a word.
(DOOR OPENS)
OK. I found statistics about age
of sexual activity by state.
Age of first masturbation
by religion,
sex toys in Europe and America,
non-orgasmic women, women
with multiple orgasms,
women with ejaculatory
orgasms, suicide by country,
state, city, and climate.
- Does that ever creep you out?
- What?
The stuff that people
are looking for.
No. It's just information.
And whatever you ask
is held in the strictest of
confidence.
Oh, and this looks cool.
Romeo and Juliet in Las Vegas.
Love and Suicide in Sin City.
Maybe you could feed two
birds with one seed.
Las Vegas. Thank
you.
You're welcome.
(MUSIC)
The guy I'm supposed to be
spying on turns out to
be very well connected.
If I never learned to be
who I was supposed to be,
isn't that just as
bad as killing myself?
She that girl they found in the
Jewel parking lot this morning?
I wouldn't be that lucky.
(SIGH)
What are you doing here?
Do you remember waking
up this morning?
Yesterday morning?
When was the last
time you slept?
(SIGH)
(DOOR CHIME)
Hi. Hey,
I was interested in buying that dress
in the window for my
niece's birthday.
Is that a popular item?
Yeah, it's quite popular.
The thing is my niece is here
with my sister right now
and I know she'd like that.
But I would hate to buy her
a dress that she already
bought herself.
Um,
you haven't seen this girl in here
with her mom today, have you?
We've seen lots of
girls like this today
and lots of them have
bought that dress.
Would you say that a smart,
depressed, pretty girl
would like this dress?
The dress in the window is
made for girls like that.
That's why they buy them.
It's all marketing.
God, you don't think an actual
woman would wear something
so dramatic and over
the top, do you?
God, its like our only
duty in this world is to
turn on perverted uncles.
What the hell was that
supposed to mean?
Excuse me?
I heard what you said!
I'm not a pervert and
I'm not an uncle!
All I said is that the
dress was popular and that
your niece would love it.
And then you started yelling
at me and insulting me?
You're crazy.
Security!
(MUSIC)
(DOOR CHIME)
(MUSIC)
What have you picked up, Katie?
Someone else is in your
system. What the fuck?
Why can't I?
That's not right.
Who the fuck are you?
Hey Kevin, we're
going for ice cream.
Do you want come with us?
Would everyone just
leave me alone?
This is very annoying.
(MUSIC)
Dude, Darren Nealy said he
got to third base with her.
Shit, she'll do it with him,
she'll do it with anybody.
Which is why she's done it with all of us,
right?
Dude, why are you always
defending her, man?
Why you always
sticking up for her?
Look. Remember when Romeo
here asked her to the dance,
at the, the Sadie Hawkins
dance?
- Magical.
- Remember that?
Remember that?
Dude. She doesn't
even like you, man.
Good morning loyal voyeurs.
Ooh, it's still dark out.
But I think someone
might be getting close,
so I have to go.
But I wanted to let you
know about last night.
I tried this thing
called the bathtub trick
that I read about on another
blog. Still nothing.
But it might work
for most people.
My trouble is my mind. I
just can't shut it off.
Always the blood is
just a moment away.
But you never know
when you're gonna
reach down into the floor
board and find his knife.
You never can tell if
that tearing sound
is you or your clothes.
You're being torn apart.
Literally stabbed.
So you do the only
thing you can do.
Do you trust
anything after that?
How do you know the next
one will stop if it hurts?
It's all too wild.
Anything can happen.
And what if you find his knife?
Will you kill him?
Will you kill yourself?
Think...
So long, Romeo.
In response
to recent comments,
I can't stay put.
Coming around the first
turn, "big" is in the lead.
Is "little" closing in?
(MUSIC)
You don't know
me. But I know you.
We need to meet and talk.
I figured out the
"little and the big".
But I need some help
understanding the
"critical nexus".
I've spent my whole life
talking people into things,
but now I get the feeling
that I've got to do
just the opposite.
I didn't feel like
getting all girled up.
So all I am is all I am.
And here's the problem,
I figured this
out this morning.
We have to lure you in.
And if we don't, we're
failures.
But once we do, you're
not what we need.
I wish the pieces of the
puzzle fit better.
Drunk Johnny, please.
Aw, come on man, you
know who this is.
Oh, didn't think so either,
man.
Well,
I knew you moved to KC a few years ago.
That, um, Cheryl girl you
were with back in a...
Oh, it didn't work out, eh?
Hey, listen, man, I'm on a
bit of a road trip
but I need a favor. Let
me get your address.
No, it's not like that, man.
Look, I'll tell you a weird
story when I get there.
Man, I haven't slept in like...
What?
I was just sort of
hoping that...
Listen, man,
can we talk about that in person?
The beauty for you two
is that we've already
laid down the ground work.
We've already designed
the site and we have
several months worth of
girls lined up and we have
a very diversified palette.
Every man wants something
different, right?
So we've got everything
from soft core to hard core
and everything in between.
Plus, we're talking multiple
revenue streams by the time
we get the dating
site in full gear.
I don't see how you're
going to get this around.
I don't know who's
gonna want to touch it.
Are you gonna put
up a billboard?
(LAUGHS)
We plan on a lot of
word of mouth traffic.
It's a brand new medium.
These sites get passed
around in chat rooms,
linked to on message boards.
The advertising should
take care of itself
once the word gets out.
But actually, my friend,
Brad, here is in charge
of that aspect
of the operation.
Bradley?
Yeah.
Absolutely.
You know,
I figured out the direct mailing pieces
to a targeted audience of
subscribers to Playboy,
Hustler, for starters.
You know,
I'm thinking something simple.
In effect, you see it big,
but you keep it simple.
Do you like to see drunk,
naked girls?
Check "yes" or "no".
If you mark "no",
you're probably a fag.
(LAUGHS)
But if you marked "yes",
come to dumbdrunkgirls.com.
(LAUGHS)
That is awesome, man.
Where they going?
(MUSIC)
- Hey
- Hey stranger.
- Um, bourbon, neat.
- Sure.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
- Keep the tab open?
- You got it.
You're new here.
Welcome to the best
bar in Des Moines.
Is that where I am?
Mind if I join you?
Look, I'm probably not very
good company right now.
My name's Derrick. If you
wanna talk, you can.
If you don't want to,
we don't have to.
Patrick,
give me another Corona light.
So where you passing
through from?
- All over really.
- You don't look like a trucker.
- I'm not.
- Is that a magic bag?
- Huh?
- What's in the bag?
Nothing's in the bag.
I just haven't checked in yet.
Staying across the street?
Look, Derek,
you know I'm straight, right?
It's OK, hon, a lot of
guys come in here thinking
they're straight or
wanting everyone else
- to think they are.
- You're setting us back, man.
Doesn't matter what people
outside this bar think.
What happens in
here, stays in here.
Is this really necessary?
I see you're afraid of who you are,
but there's a reason
why you came into
the bar today.
Yeah, it's across the
street from my motel.
- And?
- And I'm from out of town
and didn't realize
this was a gay bar.
The name "Banana
Bar" is pretty ambiguous.
(LAUGH)
Score one for the pink team.
Look, I didn't see the name.
I just wanted to drink.
So,
I guess this conversation's gone about
as far as it was meant to go.
OK, cowboy.
You know you straight
types are always funny.
You come in here acting
like you don't know what it is
and then get all offended
when someone approaches you.
You want a good fucking but
that prison in your mind
won't let you have it.
So now you're gonna
Jedi mind trick me
into taking it up the ass.
For fuck's sake, Derek,
don't bother him,
he's not interested.
You wish St. Patty.
He's fair game.
I bet he's just like the
guy I met at Barnes & Noble
a couple years ago. He
came in every Saturday
to meet me in the men's room.
I know who you are.
Well, Derrick, congratulations,
because I don't know
who I am. Have a nice
night, boys.
You're such an asshole. Look,
you don't have to leave.
He does this to everyone.
See you next week, cowboy.
(MUSIC)
You know jumping into cars is dangerous,
don't you?
But don't worry
about that now, I'm a cop.
You don't look like a cop.
I'm off duty.
So why you hitchhiking anyway?
I thought it was a good
way to save money.
I'm on my way to the mall.
The mall's back that way.
See, it's my mom's
birthday and she's sick
and I thought if I could
sneak off to the mall
and buy her an nice gift, it
might make her feel better.
You know that's really
nice, what you're doing.
That's a nice gun
you have there.
Yeah?
You ever had to use it?
That is something you don't ask
a police officer, young lady.
Have you ever...
- worn it to bed?
- What?
I mean, have you ever wanted to
bury up to the hilt in some girl
and pull the trigger?
(GASP) What?
Ahh!
(MUSIC)
(GROANING)
(MUSIC)
(CAR DRIVING)
(LAUGH)
Man,
I don't believe what I'm seeing.
I'm a bit surprised myself.
Hey, you want a drink?
I'm working on a bottle
of Black right now.
- I guess so.
- Alright.
(LAUGH)
- It's good to see you, Johnny.
- Come on in.
Wow
So what do I owe the
pleasure to anyway?
You want in on my new start-up,
right?
No, I think I'm all
done with the web, man.
I, uh, actually I need something else,
Johnny.
Dude, it's gonna be hot.
Nothing but chicks fucking and
fighting and fisting, man.
No, man, I think I'm
all done with that.
Listen,
um... I think I might be in deep shit.
I'll give you a thousand
right now if you...
if you can do me a huge favor.
Serious.
How deep are we talking about,
man?
Thanks.
Well,
I'm looking at disappearing down south
for a few years, you know.
I need you to make me 21.
Aw shit, man.
I've been out of that
business for a long time.
I don't know.
It's a lot harder
than it used to be.
I can get you something
that would work
on the Andy Griffith show, but
I don't know about Dragnet.
Will it get me
across the border?
Across the border?
Hell of a lot easier ways
to get across the border.
(LAUGH)
Speaking of which,
remember Cancun?
(LAUGH) Oh shit.
That was some crazy shit.
It was man.
Hey, hey,
what was that chick's name that we
double-teamed down
there? You remember?
I was just trying to remember
her name the other day and
I'm like, "What the fuck is
her name?"
- Amanda.
- Yeah! Fuck, Amanda!
That's right!
(LAUGH)
I was like thinking it was
Lori or something, but I knew
that wasn't right.
Amanda, God.
Oh, that was nasty.
But listen, bro.
I didn't come back here to
talk about the old times,
I...I need your help,
man.
Yeah, yeah.
That's right. Mark
Miller, the choir boy.
I got you in my sights now.
Let me tell you
something, Mark.
There ain't no God.
So,
you are just wasting your time,
worrying about
all that shit you did.
And if there was a God,
he made you who you are.
And all those girls would have
turned out one way or another,
no matter what
the fuck you did.
How much and how long
to get me something
that'll work on Dragnet?
Couple days.
Probably about...
10 grand.
I gotta call in the big guns.
10K?
I don't have 10K, man.
(LAUGH)
God, isn't that something?
The guy who used to
always tell me what to do
with my money doesn't have 10K.
Ah, now I got this big house,
and you ain't got
a pot to piss in?
I have 6 million.
6 million, but I can't
get at it right now.
Someone locked me
out of my account.
Who could have locked
you out of your account?
Someone with enough pull
to lock me out of my
account, Johnny.
Well then you're in
deep shit, amigo.
I said that already.
Give me a few days.
Hey.
Can I stay here
in the mean time?
You got a lot of fucking nerve.
The way shit went down.
(PHONE RINGS)
Oh shit.
Hello.
Everything's fine,
except my daughter's missing.
What?
Now why are you
telling me that?
If you can follow him,
why can't you follow her?
Alright, listen.
If... if you get her back
we can maybe make
some kind of...
Then fuck you!
(PHONE SLAMS)
I remember at this party one time,
it was late
and we had all told
our parents that we
were spending the
night with each other.
And some of the boys
were trying to get us to
take off our shirts
and flash them.
I wondered why I couldn't.
In your head,
you've always got the voice saying,
"Yes or no, yes or
no."
If I keep myself hidden,
then I belong only to myself.
But why is that so?
Why isn't my body more mine
if I have control over it?
Doesn't my choosing make it so?
Look.
It's so sexy.
This is such bullshit.
What do you want?
Even if it's right
in front of you,
and you can grab it and
put it in your mouth,
you can't do anything with it.
You take off my clothes,
you strip my skin,
you pull the muscle
back from my bones
and you suck the marrow
and what's left?
We're just chemicals
and neurons.
Why does this have to be
such a big fucking deal?
And BX,
stop fucking emailing me.
I can't stop you from watching,
but I will not interact
with you anymore.
You're not the director,
you're just the audience.
And, um, MX, whoever you
are, you don't know me.
You don't know where I am and
you don't know where I'm going,
so if you think you're going to
be my knight in shining armor,
you've got a big
surprise coming.
- Hey, wake up!
- Jesus!
Oh, I'm awake. How
long was I asleep?
Why were you talking to Cheryl?
Huh?
You said that Cheryl told
you I lived in Kansas City.
Yeah, we bumped into each
other in an airport and
I asked about you.
- Which one?
- Which what?
Which airport?
How the fuck should I know?
(TELEVISION)
LaGuardia.
It was LaGuardia.
Must have been when she was
visiting her Aunt Judy.
It's funny, she didn't mention
anything about
running into you.
Why would she, Johnny? I
can't imagine that seeing me
in an airport bar registers
on too many people's lists
of exciting life events.
Why do you think she was
being so secretive about you?
Did you fuck her?
Yeah. On the baggage
claim carousel.
Give me a break.
Then why didn't she
mention anything about it?
Come on, man, you're being a
little paranoid, aren't you?
Look, to be honest, I have no
idea why she didn't tell you
about running into me.
But I'm sure she wasn't
being secretive.
Now what makes you so sure
she wasn't being secretive?
Alright, fun's over man. How
much you had this morning?
No more than
usual, I'm alright.
Old Johnny can
handle his liquor.
Speaking of which, man,
remember that night
we drank all that tequila
at Bad Brad's place?
Huh? That was the
night
you drank that whole
bottle in 3 minutes.
Now that was a crazy
ass night, bro!
Yeah.
(LAUGH)
I remember that.
I remember a lot of things.
I remember...
I used to mention your
name sometimes and
Cheryl would get this
little smile on her face.
I used to always wonder if there
wasn't something going on.
Whoa, whoa, whoa...
Cheryl and I never had
anything.
Shit, man,
I wasn't even that attracted to her.
Yes, you were.
Remember when I met her.
You and I were together out at
Dash's and as we were leaving,
you said, "God, I
wish I could take that
chick home and fuck
her."
And you didn't even know that
she had given me her number.
What the fuck are
you talking about?
Shit, man, this is
all ancient history!
So we ran into each other
in an airport like millions
of people do every day.
So that means I've been sleeping
with her behind your back?
Get a grip on
yourself, J-Man!
You're my friend, bro, and
sleeping with my friends' women
has never been my style.
Oh yeah?
I respect people.
And I respect love.
You know that about me.
Now look,
I know that break up hurt you, big guy.
But honestly,
I think you're better off without her.
And I think you're going
to meet the right woman
and bring her into
this bedroom here
and fuck the shit out of
her some day soon.
But you know this...
this paranoia is going
to ruin our friendship.
We can't let some bitch
come between us like that.
Am I right?
Am I right, J-Man?
(CRY)
Yeah.
You're right, man.
- I'm sorry.
- It's alright, it's alright.
Let it all go.
Let it all go.
Dude,
you've always been a good friend to me.
Hey, I gotta check my email,
alright?
Thanks.
Good afternoon. Mr.
Miller.
Good afternoon.
(SIGH)
Have a seat.
(SNIFFLE)
My young colleague tells
me you have a need.
Yes, sir, I suppose I do.
- Is your drink OK?
- Yeah.
Hmm... I like a good, quiet
bar.
Temperature's right,
the lighting is dark
and the drinks are cold.
It should be quiet and
soothing to be here.
You like my bar?
Everything's fine.
Your bartender really
knows how to not talk.
(LAUGHS)
- So, uh, Johnny tells me you...
- Let me tell you first,
I just got back from the
most wonderful fishing trip.
- Do you fish?
- No, sir.
Up in Michigan, fly fishing.
They have some nice
rivers up there.
You should consider taking it up.
It's a very relaxing past time.
Especially when you
get up in the years.
How old are you now, Mark?
- I'm 39.
- 39, huh?
That's a good enough
time to start.
Guy like you in
pretty good shape.
I'd say you're about 6
feet tall.
You need to be
around 190 pounds?
A little extra exercise might
help keep the pounds off.
Pretty soon your metabolism
will start slowing down.
Hell, that's what did me
in. (LAUGHS)
Yeah, it's a killer alright,
huh?
Yes, sir, it is.
You might try it.
- I might try that.
- It's a good time.
Um, gentlemen, will you
excuse me for just a moment?
My bladder's not
what it used to be.
(MUSIC)
Will you at least
play along, asshole?
I'm doing you a fucking favor here,
man.
- You know that?
- I am playing along.
You heard me say I
might try fishing.
I hate fish. It
tastes like fish!
Don't fuck this up!
This guy owns this
town, you know that?
God damn,
last time they tried to arrest him,
he ended up selling a
bunch of raffle tickets to
his grandkid's baseball game.
You haven't even seen
him on a good day.
He's got some health
issues and shit now.
(SIGH)
I have your bar tab,
if you'll come with me.
(FOOTSTEPS)
- Come on.
- How much?
Jesus,
you people always wanna know how much.
Think you can put a
price on freedom.
- Johnny, do the honors.
- OK.
Hey, who's gonna do the
hacking?
Nobody, unless he pays for it.
Now stand over there, in
front of the blue backdrop.
I can take care of it
if you want me to.
Take care of what?
Mr. Spunkmeyer can have
an excellent fake ID,
but if his prints still say
"Mr. Miller",
somewhere down the road, he
will step knee deep in shit.
(MUSIC)
So Laura, how old are you?
- I'm 18.
- 18, huh?
Are you sure you're 18?
Because we can't let you on
the site unless you are.
- I'm 18.
- Alright. Cool.
You guys want me
to make her 21?
Now there's a good idea.
Hey, listen, Laura, um,
we're sure you're 18,
but, um, while you're
here, you might as well
get yourself a fake ID for
when you go back home.
My man, Johnny here,
can fix you up with the right people.
And when you get that ID
and bring it back here
we're gonna photocopy
it for our records.
- Is that cool?
- Alright, cool.
This is so uncool.
I'm going for a walk.
So, how much can I make?
- Johnny?
- Oh, well...
That actually depends.
That is where the money is,
I mean everyone can use
a little extra cash,
right? Where's that shot?
As a courtesy among thieves,
you'll leave here with a
fake ID that'll work in any
liquor store you happen upon.
Peace of mind in a
worst-case scenario.
Though that is always the
most expensive option.
What say, Mr.
Spunkmeyer? Ten grand.
Ten grand? I don't
have ten grand.
Hey, Johnny tells me you're having
a little financial difficulty.
There's no secrets in this bar,
dude.
Hey, we have to look out for one another,
don't we?
"We ain't a we",
as a friend of mine was want to say.
Some friend.
Now I understand you're having
some trouble getting into
your bank account. Is that
right?
Yeah. It'll clear up.
As a matter of fact, let me use your phone,
I'll call them right now.
No. Not from my phone, you
won't. They'll trace you.
Come on, Ray, that's
a little thick.
Hush up, Johnny boy.
Somebody new wants
to do business, I make it a
point to do some research.
You are in a serious
bind, young man.
I know of at least one Senator
and one family that
are looking for you.
And I'd say by the
time they're done,
if you're still alive, you're
looking at two murders,
money laundering, and
mail fraud.
- What?
- Hey, you're safe for now.
The word I get is that
the situation
is about to get much
bigger than you.
So I imagine if you go
underground, not too many people
are going to be
interested in digging you up.
But you have to give
them the opportunity
to say that Mark Miller never
existed.
All people want is an easy
way to live with their lies.
- You couldn't know all this shit.
- It's my business to know.
By noon tomorrow, I can have
you a valid Missouri license,
plates, insurance, a
job history, a resume.
And in a month or two, I
can forward to the address
of your choice, a gas
and electric bill
from an address here, in
beautiful Kansas City.
Oh, and a Sears card.
You ever shop at Sears?
Pshh. The answer's
no. Sears? No.
The Social Security card
takes a little longer,
but that is included
in the peace of mind.
I already have your birth certificate
and some newspaper clippings
of the car wreck you
supposedly died in.
Car wreck?
Eric Spunkmeyer and his
family died in a car wreck
in Boise a number of years ago.
But the new reporter
was obviously mistaken.
So, your parents died,
but you did not.
Imagine the shock in her
face when it was discovered
you were actually in a
coma at County Hospital.
Fuck.
Spunkmeyer?
Did you have to
choose Spunkmeyer?
Do I look Jewish to you?
- You could be adopted.
- I am adopted.
- Yeah, see?
- Hey, we don't choose them.
They choose us. This
is an old trick,
but I have perfected it.
What do you want?
How would you like to
sell me your account
for some cash to get by on?
What do you mean,
sell you my account?
One aspect of this transaction
is that I will now own
the identity of Mark Miller.
Since I know I'm not going
to be able to sell it
in good conscience
I need to try to
recoup my losses.
I already have your
Social Security number,
Bank of America account
numbers, mother's maiden name,
street address.
But I'll need all your pins and passwords.
You already have my
s...? No way, Raymond.
That's a hell of
a lot of money.
But you can't get to it,
so that money might
as well not exist.
Then how the hell are
you gonna get to it?
I'm not saying I can!
I'm a gambling man.
I have time and
I like to gamble.
But you don't have much time
and you're in no
place to gamble.
(SIGH)
How much longer will
you be in town?
Tomorrow, maybe the day after.
Sleep on it tonight. Let
me know in the morning.
Fuck!
How long were we in there?
Yeah, he's a talker.
You're pretty well fucked, dude.
And he's the best there is.
So come on, Eric.
Good evening, ma'am, my
name is Eric Spunkmeyer.
Have you ever considered a career
in the adult films industry?
I was born just four hours
shy of April Fools Day
and my mother was Janice,
my father was Samuel.
And the funny, no...
the eerie thing is the papers
said all three of us died.
But the reporter got it
wrong. Crazy, huh?
Fuck.
This is never gonna work.
About to upload
some stuff, man.
You'll be good to go at
the start of business
tomorrow, if you take it.
What would you do?
Like he said,
freedom is more important than money.
(SIGH)
Money buys freedom.
Only until you lose it.
(MUSIC)
I figured the only thing
that was holding
me back was me.
So I left. I
skipped out.
And I tried to be someone else.
Someone who could change
into sexy clothes and...
and not be so stuck
in my own head.
(SIGH)
I'm a failure.
God. Just shoot
me.
Good night.
I have a long story to tell you
about this girl I used to know.
But I want to tell
you that in person.
Here's what you need
to know right now.
Try the Hitachi magic wand.
I've seen it work
a million times,
but you have to start
it on the lowest speed.
If you go for too much too soon,
you'll lose it.
That's part of your problem.
You want it too much.
Then just relax and
focus on your breathing.
Just feel yourself breathing.
And try to tune out
everything else.
Mark, hey uh,
did you hear what happened to Sarah?
No, what?
You know how she hasn't been
here in a few weeks, right?
I hadn't noticed.
Dude,
she tried to kill herself.
- Shut up.
- I'm not lying, it's true!
Look, my mom got a call
from James Manfred's
mom last night.
She told him
not to be all upset about
it and stuff like that.
- Is she, is she alright?
- Yeah, I guess so.
I mean, they got to the
hospital in time.
How'd she do it?
She cut her wrist.
Dude,
did you guys hear about Sarah?
- She cut her wrist.
- Yeah.
And I guess she's transferring
over to Northside Tech.
It's weird, I just saw her over
at her locker and she's like
packing up, but everybody's
ignoring her.
I guess her parents think
she did it cause
she's unhappy here.
Maybe if she wasn't
such a stuck-up cunt.
- Hi.
- Hi... Mark?
Yeah, hi. I heard about
everything.
And I just wanted to say that
I'm sorry about everything
and that you're going to
another school and everything.
Well, this isn't a
very good school.
I, um,
I always thought you were really pretty.
God,
why doesn't everyone just leave me alone?
I'm sorry, I'm pretty,
but that doesn't give
every boy in school
the right to come talk to me.
(SIGH)
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
It isn't like that.
I know you never
thought twice about me,
but I'm honest and you
could have trusted me.
Sarah, is everything alright?
Everything's cool.
We're just talking.
Everything is fine, Jay.
Everything doesn't look fine.
What's the problem, faggot?
Why don't you just leave?
Why don't I just kick
your faggot ass?
Stop it!
(MUSIC)
Well, I made it!
And it looks like I have
about one shot left.
Thanks to the advice
of a kindly stalker,
I'm gonna try to
get to a truck stop
and pick up a
Hitachi Magic Wand.
So,
do truckers use these on themselves?
Or are they hoping to pick up
a female hitchhiker who
might masturbate for them,
provided they have the
requisite equipment on board?
(KISS)
(MUSIC)
But then there are those
places where the wires cross.
Where people come to get
married
and start their lives and
consummate their love.
But also where the desperate
come for one last chance.
To lose it all before they
finally pull the trigger
on a wasted life.
One year this place lead
the country in both
marriages and suicides.
So I had to get closer.
I mean that's where it all
converges inside of me.
Thanks to two pervs
I met along the way,
I have the tools I need for
either the little or the big.
MX suggests that I try to
ignore everything else
and just focus on my breathing,
so I have to shut you
out for a little bit.
But I'll be back for at
least one more blog.
Just to let you know how
it went.
(MUSIC)
(BUZZING)
(DEEP BREATHING)
(PANTING)
(MUSIC)
But here's something
that no one ever says.
It's fleeting.
You can't hold on to anything.
Not sex, not money, not
power, not even memories.
(TELEVISION)
Should have gone already.
My employer said he is sorry
things couldn't work out.
Not as sorry as he's gonna be.
(GUN SHOTS)
(PANTING)
But if you come, we
have to go to Mexico,
because we're both in
big trouble.
(MUSIC)
(KNOCK)
Mark?
Sorry, I'm late, I got...
well, it doesn't matter,
or it won't soon.
This is the biggest
bet I've ever made.
But we're in Vegas.
This is where it all comes together,
right?
I expected you to be
a little older.
Still, I'm not disappointed.
(ELEVATOR OPENS)
(MUSIC)
There.
I got enough gear
to get into Mexico,
so this might be the
end of the line.
Keep watching.
OK.
I'm ready.
I have a small confession
to make.
- Uh, I'm not...
- I know exactly who you are BX.
And I knew you'd come.
You or somebody like you.
You toyed with me.
You dismissed me!
And you hurt me!
Now every woman in the
world is gonna see what...
What are you doing?
This isn't what...
I killed for you. I killed
for you.
You didn't kill for me!
You killed me!
I had a plan.
And it might have
been a bad plan.
But you might be the only
thing that's keeping
me from being OK.
I didn't ask to be this way.
I didn't either.
Who has to die today?
You? Me? Or the
whole world?
- Which is it?
- No!
No, no, no, look.
It doesn't have to
be this way, OK?
Look,
all those guys in your chat room,
they just want to fuck you!
But I love you.
I mean don't, don't you
get that?
This is where it
all comes together.
Not some place on a map, but in
our minds, in our hearts.
So could you please
just put down the...
(GUN SHOTS)
(MUSIC)