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Crocodile (2000)
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
I'M SICK OF WASTING ALL MY TIME AND TRYIN' TO GET IT RIGHT AND FALLIN' TO THE GROUND I'M TELLING YOU, MAN--PIZZA. IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GO, HANDS DOWN. IT'S LIKE SEX. [COUGHS] IT'S THAT SIMPLE. OH, EXPLAIN, PLEASE. ENLIGHTEN ME. ALL RIGHT. WELL, WHEN IT'S GOOD, IT'S GREAT, RIGHT? YEAH. AND WHEN IT'S BAD... MMM. IT'S STILL PRETTY DAMN GOOD. YOU'RE A MORON, YOU KNOW THAT? COME ON, DUDE, HOW HARD COULD IT BE? YOU'VE GOT ONE FOOD TO EAT FOR THE RES OF YOUR LIFE, AND IT IS... YAMS. YAMS? THERE'S A TRIBE-- I THINK IT'S IN AFRICA-- THAT SUBSISTS SOLELY ON THE YAM. WHERE DO YOU COME UP WITH THIS SHIT? HEY, I'M JUST BEING PRACTICAL. [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] WHOO-HOO! HA HA HA! COME ON, BITCH. AAH! HEY, BRADY. [YOUTHS SHOUTING AND LAUGHING] YOU LITTLE SHIT! OH, THEY'RE GOING TO GET IT. I SWEAR TO GOD, THEY'RE GOING TO GET IT. I... I, UH--UH... WHAT? WHAT WAS-- WHAT? HER BEST FRIEND WENT TO CABO WITHOUT HER, MAN. WHAT COULD I DO? YOU INVITED HER?YOU WORRY TOO MUCH. CLAIREDOESN' IS GOING TO--KNOW. AND SHE WON' FIND OUT, SO CHILL OUT. HEY, BOYS! [YOUTHS SHOUTING AND LAUGHING] BESIDES, DUDE, YOU SAID YOURSELF IT WAS A BIG MISTAKE. OUR FRESHMEN WEEK WAS A LONG TIME AGO FOR HER, TOO, PAL. I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, D. I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, MAN. I AM SO DEAD. A RECKLESS LIFE IS THE ONLY LIFE WORTH LIVING, MY FRIEND. THIS AIN'T NO CAMELO THINKIN' THAT THE WORLD WOULD BE YOUR OYSTER SWEETIE PIE. HEY, WHERE'S MY ANNABELLE? HEY. PERFECT. 5 DAYS ON THE LAKE, AND THE WILD WOMAN'S GOING TO STAR COMING THROUGH. 5 DAYS ON THIS LAKE, THEN WE GO SHOPPING BIG TIME. THAT'S THE DEAL, SWEETIE. FRESH AIR, ALL OF THIS WATER-- IT'S GOING TO DO SOME CRAZY THINGS TO YOU. HMM. I'M GOING TO MAKE AN OUTDOORS GIRL OUT OF YOU YET. I DON'T THINK SO. [BARKS] GO BACK TO KANSAS, TOTO. GET OUT OF HERE. [BARKS] GET OUT OF HERE. THERE'S NO PROMISES OF LOVE OR MONEY NO BRADY. HI. HI. OH, IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. YEAH. THIS TRIP'S GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN. I KNOW. IT'S GOING TO BE A BLAST. I CAN'T WAIT. WELCOME TO LAKE SOBEK. I AM YOUR HOST. SPIKE, HOW YOU DOING, BUDDY? HER NAME IS PRINCESS, AND CAREFUL WITH THAT BOW. BABY EXCUSE ME. CLAIRE! BRADY. BABY I THOUGHT YOU SAID HE WANTED TO BE WITH ME. CHILL OUT, SUNSHINE. YOU ALWAYS GOT ME. ICK. I'D RATHER SUCK ON A TROUT. YOU MISS ME? YOU KNOW IT. MMM. YOUR LUCKY DAY UH-HUH YOUR LUCKY DAY AHEM. DUNCAN, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE GOING TO-- GOOD TO SEE YOU, TOO, CLAIRE. HEY, EVERYBODY, THIS IS CLAIRE. SHE AND I AND DUNCAN WEN TO HIGH SCHOOL TOGETHER. BRADY'S TOLD ME SO MUCH ABOUT YOU GUYS. EVEN THE JUICY STUFF? THERE'S NO JUICY STUFF. HA HA HA! BUT WE'RE JUS GETTING STARTED, RIGHT? OH, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE. NOBODY'S STARTING ANY DAMN THING AROUND HERE UNTIL WE COME TO A DECISION. WHAT? NOW, WHO EXACTLY... IS BUYING THE BEER? WHOO! All: BEER! BEER! BEER! BEER! BEER! BEER! BEER! BEER! BEER! BEER! BEER! BEER! SO, YOU'RE FROM AROUND HERE? YEAH. MY WHOLE FAMILY. YEP. GOT KINFOLK FROM ALL AROUND THESE HERE PARTS. YEAH, WELL, I'D SHUT UP IF I WERE YOU, MAN. MY KIN GAVE US A BIG BREAK ON THE BOAT RENTAL, SO KEEP IT UP, BOY. UHH! KIT, HELP ME, PLEASE. [PRINCESS BARKS] Kit: COMING TO THE RESCUE, SWEETIE. GUYS, WE COULD USE SOME HELP OVER HERE. HEY. YOU ALL COULD HELP ME BY SHOWING ME A LITTLE I.D. THERE YOU GO. NOW, LOOK, KIDS, I KNOW WHY YOU'RE HERE. PARTY TIME. HA HA HA. HECK, I USED TO DO THAT MYSELF. AMAZING YOU FOUND THE TIME, WHAT WITH ALL THE PIG SHOWS AND TRACTOR PULLS AND SUCH. [BOY CHUCKLES] Boy: AHEM. SON... DO YOU WANT TO SPEND YOUR VACATION LOOKING AT THE LAKE THROUGH A SET OF BARS? NO, SIR. I DIDN'T THINK SO. NOW, YOU ALL MAKE SURE THAT WHOEVER'S DRIVING YOUR RIG IS SOBER, YOU GOT ME? LAST YEAR, SOME BOZO CAME THROUGH HERE, WENT JET-SKIING AFTER A KEGGER-- RAN RIGHT INTO A BOAT. THERE WASN'T MUCH LEFT OF HIM, BUT MY MEN WERE ABLE TO SCRAPE ENOUGH OF HIM OFF THE PROPELLER TO KNOW THAT HE HAD A B.A.C. OF 0.25. WE'LL BE CAREFUL, SIR. GOOD. NOW, SPRING BREAK IS VACATION FOR YOU KIDS. FOR ME? THAT'S MY BUSY SEASON, SO YOU TRY TO KEEP THAT IN MIND. YES, SIR. YOU GOT IT. WELL, THEN... [LAUGHS] [BARKS] PRINCESS, DON'T BOTHER THE NICE SHERIFF. YOU BETTER GET THA FLUFF BALL ON A LEASH. WE DON'T LIKE THAT MAN, DO WE? NO. NO. WHY TIME AND AGAIN IT'LL BE A STRANGE THING TO YOU AND ME WHY WE ALL FEEL SMALL AND THIN WHENEVER IT'S TIME AGAIN WHY TIME AND AGAIN IT'LL BE A STRANGE THING TO YOU AND ME WHY [LAUGHS] [BOTH LAUGH] YOU HAVING A GOOD TIME? YEAH. GOOD. GOOD. DID YOU HAVE TO BRING DUNCAN HERE WITH US? CLAIRE, I REALLY DON'T WANT TO GE IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS THING BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU. I JUST THINK HE'S AN ASSHOLE. HE'S NOT THAT BAD. YOU'VE NEVER EVEN GIVEN HIM A FAIR CHANCE. HE'S PRETTY COOL. HE GOT YOU EXPELLED FOR CHEATING, BABE. THAT WAS PARTIALLY MY FAULT, AND YOU KNOW THAT. WE TALKED ABOUT THAT. I'M SORRY. I'M... I'M JUST PISSED, YOU KNOW? I WANT YOU AT SCHOOL WITH ME. AND I'LL BE THERE. 12 MORE UNITS, AND THEN I CAN TRANSFER. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, BABE. YOU DO? YEAH. [LAUGHS] JUST DO ME A FAVOR AND KEEP DUNCAN THE HELL AWAY FROM ME THIS WEEK, OK? YOU GOT IT. GIVE ME A HUG. HEY, BRADY, COME ON, MAN, WE'RE DOING BODY SHOTS OFF SUNNY. LET'S GO. NO WAY. HEY, GET LOST, MAN. BAD TIMING. VAMOOSE. SEE YOU. WHAT? GET LOST. DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME TWICE. GENTLEMEN, PREPARE FOR LIFTOFF. READY, HOUSTON. ONE SMALL LICK FOR MAN, ONE GIANT WOODY FOR MANKIND. ON MY COUNT, OK? ALL RIGHT. 3, 2, 1. BODY SHOT. BODY SHOT. OW! HA HA! HA HA HA! MMM. [LAUGHS] MMM. [GROWLS] YOU'RE NEXT, BABY. IN YOUR DREAMS. AW. [PRINCESS BARKS] WHAT'S WITH YOU, MAN? I'M GETTING SEASICK. YOU WANT A TEQUILA SHOT? [VOMITS] NASTY. EW. EW. EW. AW, MAN. AM I SO STUPID? AM I BLIND TO WHAT YOU DO? PSYCHOTIC HUMAN [CHATTERING] HEY. HEY, GUYS. GUYS. I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE A TOAS TO KIT FOR MAKING THIS WEEKEND HAPPEN. YEAH! YAY! WHOO! TO KIT! YEAH! YAY, YAY. I GOT AN ANNOUNCEMEN TO MAKE. I'M REALLY FUCKED UP. I'LL DRINK TO THAT. SURE MISS CHARLIE NOT COMING OU ON THESE TRIPS WITH US ANYMORE. AND POOR OLD SISSY'S ALL BACKED UP AGAIN-- TOO MUCH FIBER. I SWEAR, SHE WAS EATING THIS STUFF LAST WEEK, AND IT LOOKED LIKE WOOD CHIPS. YEAH. DAMN FIBER AIN'T GOOD FOR NOTHING. JUST GETS DOWN IN YOUR COLON AND TURNS TO STONE. CLOSING DOWN THAT TANNERY JUST ABOUT KILLED OLD CHARLIE. AND NOW WITH SISSY AND THE FIBER... AHH. THE MAN HARDLY GETS OU OF THE HOUSE ANYMORE, WHAT WITH THAT POOR IMPACTED WOMAN. AW... COCKSUCKING ANIMAL RIGHTS. THAT'S HIPPIE BULLSHIT. [YOUTHS LAUGHING IN DISTANCE] THE TANNERY KEPT THIS TOWN AFLOAT. NOW LOOK AT IT. [ANIMAL SQUEALS] AND THAT'S A FACT. WELL, I'LL BE DAMNED. MUST BE FROM THE GIAN CAROLINA SWAMP EATER, DON'T YOU THINK? THIS DAMN BIRD CLOSED THE TANNERY. THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE REAL ENDANGERED. HUH. WELL... FLY AWAY, LITTLE BIRDIE. FLY! HEE HEE! [LAUGHTER] [ANIMAL GROWLS] WHAT WAS THAT? HEY, GUYS, THAT WAS THE CREATURE OF LAKE SOBEK. THE CREATURE OF LAKE SOBEK. [YOUTHS HUM MUSIC FROM JAWS] JOKE ALL YOU WANT. DUDE, YOU ARE SO FULL OF SHIT. GOD. ALL RIGHT, I'M GETTING SOME BUG REPELLENT. THIS IS RIDICULOUS. OH, GET ME SOME CHIPS. OH, AND A COUPLE OF DOGGIE BISCUITS. YEAH? NO. Annabelle: THAT MOSQUITO JUICE IS MAKING HIM MEAN. Boy: THAT BUG SPRAY IS GOING TO MAKE ME PUKE AGAIN. NOW, THIS IS FOR THE BLIND SALAMANDER. [MAN LAUGHS] ARE YOU HUNGRY, HARVEY? WELL, I RECKON I COULD EAT. WELL, CHOMP DOWN ON THIS. IT'S MEAT-FREE. OOH! [LAUGHS] YOU JACKASS! LIGHTEN UP, BUDDY. OK, OK, OK. YOU WIN. [CROCODILE GROWLING] [SCREAMING] [PRINCESS BARKS] [ROARS] I THINK IT WAS A FOGHORN. [LAUGHTER] HEY, SHH, SHH. SHH. SEE, KIT'S GOT THIS STORY, AND HE'S GOING TO DIE IF WE DON'T LET HIM TELL IT. NEVER MIND, GUYS. I DON'T THINK YOU GUYS CAN HANDLE IT. COME ON, MAN, TELL YOUR STORY. [YOUTHS ENCOURAGE] Boy: WE WANT TO HEAR IT. ALL RIGHT, FIRST, LET ME JUST START BY SAYING I DIDN'T MAKE ANY OF THIS UP, ALL RIGHT? IT'S COMPLETELY TRUE. OOH. AND...IT ALL HAPPENED RIGHT HERE-- RIGHT UP AT THAT OLD HOTEL, RIGHT UP THERE. Brady: THAT'S A SURPRISE. SEE, THE GUY WHO BUILT I WAS THIS GUY BY THE NAME OF HARLAN CLEMENS. OH. HARLAN CLEMENS? WAIT A MINUTE. ISN'T THAT MARK TWAIN'S REAL NAME OR SOMETHING? NO, NO. SEE, HE IMPORTED THIS MASSIVE CROCODILE-- A FLAT DOG. Brady: OK, YOU'RE LOSING ME HERE. WELL, THAT'S WHA THE AFRICANS CALL THE NILE CROCODILE. UH-HUH. ANYWAY, THE CROC WAS SUPPOSEDLY A DESCENDEN OF THE ONES THE PHARAOHS RODE INTO BATTLE. GIDDYAP, LITTLE GATOR. [BOTH LAUGH] SHUT UP, ALL RIGHT? SHUT UP. MY POINT IS, THIS GUY HARLAN SET UP A SHRINE FOR THIS MONSTER. I MEAN, HE PRACTICALLY STARTED A CULT. HE THOUGHT THA HE COULD USE THIS BEAS TO HARNESS THE POWERS OF THE ANCIENT EGYPTIAN CROCODILE GOD SOBEK. LICK MY HAIRY RIGHT 'NAD. Kit: SO... [LAUGHTER] SO... LISTEN. SO THE TOWNSPEOPLE ARE ABOUT TO RUN HARLAN OUT OF TOWN BECAUSE OF HIS UNCHRISTIAN WAYS. THEN SOMETHING MIRACULOUS HAPPENED. THE MONSTER LAID EGGS. WHO KNOWS HOW SHE GOT PREGNANT? AW, CAN WE JUS FAST-FORWARD TO THE FLYING GUTS AND ASSHOLES OR SOMETHING? [LAUGHTER] YOU ARE WADING THROUGH A LOT OF BULLSHIT. LOOK--NO, GUYS, LOOK, IT'S TRUE, MAN. MY GRANDMOTHER RAISED ME ON THIS STORY, ALL RIGHT? IT HAPPENED WHEN SHE WAS A LITTLE GIRL. SO... HARLAN TAKES THE EGGS AND PUTS THEM ON DISPLAY IN THE HOTEL LOBBY. BUT, THEN, ONE DAY, HIS 8-YEAR-OLD SON GOT MAD. HE TOOK A CROQUE MALLET TO THEM AND SMASHED THEM ALL. [LAUGHS] SICK FUCK. AND ALL THEY EVER FOUND OF HIM AFTER THA WAS HIS HAND. NOW... EVERY NOW AND THEN, THE CROC COMES BACK TO THE HOTEL, AND HE FEASTS ON LITTLE 8-YEAR-OLDS PLAYING CROQUET. [LAUGHTER] GOOD STORY, DUDE. GOOD STORY. DON'T LAUGH, MAN. Boy: HA HA HA HA HA! IT'S TRUE. TRUE! TRUE! WE'RE DOING SHOTS EVERY TIME KIT SAYS, "IT'S TRUE." BABY. Kit: LISTEN, I DON'T CARE IF YOU GUYS THINK THIS IS FUNNY OR NOT, BUT, YOU KNOW, THEY SAY THAT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE SHE'LL COME UP TO THE HOTEL STILL LOOKING FOR HER EGGS. IN FACT, ABOUT 10 YEARS AGO, SOME KIDS DISAPPEARED FROM THIS VERY PLACE. Brady: RIGHT HERE? I IMAGINE THEY WERE SITTING AROUND THE FIRE JUST LIKE US, BUT THEY JUST KEP HEARING THINGS. [BIRD CAWS] Kit: YOU KNOW? AND THE CREATURE JUST CAME OUT OF THE SHADOWS WITH ITS YELLOW EYES AND ITS SCALY SKIN ALL COVERED WITH BARNACLES-- WITH THOSE EYES THAT JUST... THAT JUST PARALYZE YOU, YOU KNOW? YOU CAN'T MOVE. AND THEN YOU JUS SIT THERE WAITING FOR THE INEVITABLE-- THAT HORRIBLE FATE AWAITING YOU AS IT GETS CLOSER AND CLOSER AND CLOSER. AAH! [LAUGHTER] GET ALONG, LITTLE SUNNY. HOO HOO! GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME. WORKS EVERY TIME. [MUSIC PLAYING] Sunny: WHOO! WE LIKE BOYS LOOKING GOOD. YEP. YOU KNOW, THEY TORCHED IT UP WHEN I WAS A KID. I REMEMBER THE SKY WAS, LIKE, THIS BRIGHT, BRIGHT RED. YOU COULD SEE I ALL THE WAY FROM OUR HOUSE IN TOWN. MY DAD, HE REALLY LOVED THAT. HE DID? THEY SHUT IT DOWN IN 1903. SOME PRETTY CRAZY STUFF HAPPENED UP THERE. THE LOCAL LEGEND HAS I THAT THE WHITE MARBLE LOBBY WAS SMEARED WITH BLOOD. I MEAN, IT COVERED EVERYTHING. SERIOUS BODY COUNT. AND IT'S BEEN SAID TO BE CURSED EVER SINCE. WHOO! YOU TAKING NOTES? YOU TAKING NOTES? WHOO! YEAH! TOUCHDOWN. I WASN'T AT FAULT. SHUT UP, MAN. [BARKS] WHAT IS IT, SWEETHEART? HEY, KIT, COME HERE, MAN. LOOK AT THIS FRUIT. Boy: HEY, BRADY! HURRY UP, MAN. 2, 4, 6, 8, JIGGLE, JIGGLE, SHAKE, SHAKE. WHOO! THAT WAS FOR YOU, DUNCAN. OH, YES, IT IS. OH, HO! S-U-C-C-E-S-S, THAT'S THE WAY WE SPELL SUCCESS. WELL, SHE'S GOT SOME BASIC SPELLING SKILLS. VOCAB, TOO. YEAH! Sunny: WHOO-HOO! HA HA! GO, LITTLE FOOTBALL STARS. COME ON! Brady: HOLDING! HOLDING! [LAUGHTER] Sunny: BRADY! WHOO! BRADY, SHOW ME YOUR ASS! [BOYS SHOUTING] LET'S GO, NICE GUY. YEAH. PULL MY PANTS. UHH! UHH! [BARKS] HONEY, DO YOU SEE SOMETHING? DEEP DOWN, SHE'S A MIGHTY HUNTING DOG. HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY. Brady: DON'T BE LOOKING, MAN. IT'S NOTHING. OHH! STOP. Boy: STOP IT, MAN. SHUT UP. AAH! JESUS! Brady: MAN, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? [DUNCAN LAUGHS] YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN YOUR FACES, MAN. [LAUGHS] YOU SUCKERS. PRINCESS! KIT, WILL YOU GET HER? AW... PRINCESS! Boy: PRINCESS WHERE'S THE DOGGIE? PRINCESS. HEY! [WHISTLES] COME HERE, PUP. [WHISTLES] YO, CHECK THIS OUT, MAN. TALK ABOUT GETTING LAID. Boy: YEAH, THAT'S, LIKE, FROM AN OSTRICH OR SOMETHING. Duncan: OR A BEAVER. HEY, HEY, YOU GUYS, YOU GUYS. YOU GUYS SHOULD LEAVE THOSE THINGS ALONE, ALL RIGHT? UH, YEAH. WHO BROUGHT DAD ALONG? HEY, DUNCAN, THERE'S A LIVING CREATURE INSIDE OF THERE, ALL RIGHT? GROW UP. YO, CHECK OU THIS CREATURE. [LAUGHS] ELEPHANTIASIS OF THE NUTS. IS THAT AN EGG IN YOUR SHORTS, OR ARE YOU JUS HAPPY TO SEE ME? OOH! OHH! [BARKS] YOU GUYS ARE IDIOTS-- SERIOUSLY. THAT'S NOT COOL. WHAT, I'M NOT YOUR TYPE? BE A BIG BOY, DUNCAN. [PRINCESS BARKS] OH, NO. [BOTH LAUGH] Boy: THAT'S WRONG, DUDE. [MUSIC PLAYING] THANK YOU. [TURNS OFF RADIO] WHERE'S PRINCESS? WILL YOU JUS LET HER BE A DOG? KIT, SHE COULD DROWN. Duncan: YO, SUNNY. HMM? THAT WAS IN MY CROTCH. [LAUGHS] YOU'RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE. YOU KNOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TWO. FOR ALL YOU KNOW, THAT COULD BE AN ENDANGERED SPECIES. YOU KNOW, CLAIRE, THE EGG IS A SYMBOL OF FERTILITY. PERHAPS YOU FIND THA THREATENING. [LAUGHS] HEH. CUTE. [WHIMPERS] [BARKING] PRINCESS. LOOK AT YOU. YOU'RE A MESS. COME ON. LET'S GET YOU CLEANED UP. YOU'RE A BAD, BAD DOGGIE FOR EATING THOSE NASTY EGGS. WELL, NOTHING TODAY BU THE USUAL HELL-RAISERS. LET'S HEAD BACK. Radio: SHERIFF, KEEP YOUR EYE OU FOR HARVEY AND ARNOLD. THEY WENT FISHING-- HAVEN'T COME HOME YET. OVER. ROGER ON THAT. ON THE LOOKOU FOR 2 FAT FISHERMEN PASSED OU OVER A CASE OF BEER. HEY! ARE YOU BOZOS DOWN FOR A KEGGER? HA HA HA! PARTY TIME! NOW, YOU CAN START BY SHOWING ME SOME PROPER I.D. COME ON IN, BRO. BETTER PUT THA FLUFF BALL ON A LEASH. GUYS, WAIT FOR ME! Girl: ARE YOU SURE? [LAUGHING AND TALKING] Claire: NO, NO, NO! Foster: DRINK, DRINK, DRINK! HUNGRY, CLAIRE? ONE BACKPACK OMELE COMING UP. THERE. HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MAN? NOTHIN'! YOU GUYS ARE BEING REAL DICKS, YOU KNOW THAT? [SOBS] [LAUGHING] I'M SERIOUS, MAN. [HELICOPTER] LET'S... YEAH. ALL RIGHT, THE PARTY CAN NOW BEGIN! IS MY GIRL HAVING A GOOD TIME? OF COURSE I AM. IT'S KIND OF A ZOO, YOU KNOW. NOT EXACTLY A ROMANTIC PARADISE. BRADY, YOU WORRY TOO MUCH. I'M HERE WITH YOU. THAT'S WHAT MATTERS. AND I LIKE YOUR FRIENDS. ANNABELLE'S A SWEETHEART. YOU KNOW, THE WHOLE DUNCAN THING-- LOOK, FORGET ABOUT IT. OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND. LOOKS LIKE A GOOD SPOT. OK. OK, SO, REMIND ME... HUBS IS--HUBS IS IN YOUR DORM. NOPE. KIT AND FOSTER ARE IN MY DORM. HUBS IS IN BIO WITH ME. OH, BIO. AND SUNNY? SHE'S JUST SOME FRIEND OF DUNCAN'S. I THINK SHE HAS A THING FOR YOU. WHAT? NO. SHE TOTALLY HAS A CRUSH ON YOU, BRADY. CLAIRE, YOU'RE JUST IMAGINING. LOOK, I'M NOT JEALOUS. I THINK IT'S KIND OF CUTE. I DON'T KNOW WHA YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. HOW COULD SHE NOT? LOOK AT THOSE BLUE EYES. HMM? THESE EYES ARE FOR YOU ONLY, BABE. OH, YOU ARE SUCH A CHEESEBALL SOMETIMES. COME HERE. WAIT. WHAT? THIS IS A PERFECT MOMENT. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? LISTEN TO THE WIND. AND THE TREES. GOD, IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL OUT HERE. AND I'M HERE WITH MY PERFECT BOYFRIEND. WELL, YOU'RE RIGH ABOUT THAT. WE DON'T GET A LO OF THESE MOMENTS. WE HAVE TO SAVOR THEM. THAT'S WHA I'M TRYING TO DO. [TWIG SNAPS] WHAT WAS THAT? NOTHING. [GROWLING] UH-OH. IT'S KIT'S MONSTER. SMOOTH DOG. WHAT? SMOOTH DOG. THAT'S ITS NAME. NO, NO, THAT'S NO WHAT THEY CALL IT. THAT'S WHA HE CALLED IT. IT WAS FLAT DOG. OK, WELL, FINE. SMOOTH DOG? DON'T TEASE ME, BRADY. STOP, STOP. WHAT ABOU OUR PERFECT MOMENT? YOU CAN'T JUST CREATE ONE. IT HAS TO HAPPEN. AND YOU'VE RUINED IT. YEAH? [LAUGHS] YEAH. YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? MM-HMM. MM-HMM. BRADY, WHAT IF SOMEONE SEES US? CLAIRE, THERE'S NOBODY OUT HERE. ARE YOU SURE? ABSOLUTELY. Sunny: ARROOO! [LAUGHING] [TALKING] DUDE, YOU GOT THAT ASH ALL OVER MY LAP. NOT BAD. NOT BAD. HA HA HA! SUNNY, YOU LOOKIN' FOR SOME ACTION, BABY? YOU DRINK TOO MUCH, SUNNY. YOU DRINK TOO DAMN MUCH. SUCH AN IDIOT. COME ON, THAT'S ENOUGH. COME ON, SUNNY. TIME TO SLEEP IT OFF. LET'S PUT YOU RIGHT OVER HERE. OHH. [LAUGHTER] YOU'RE MY HERO. I KNOW. HEY, WATCH IT. THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND. OHH...I'M SORRY. YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON. I WOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT IF I KNEW. [LAUGHTER] BUSTED! [LAUGHS] WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? SHE'S COMPLETELY DRUNK. WHAT'S SHE TALKING ABOUT, BRADY? IT WAS ONLY ONCE. HA HA HA! YEAH, RIGHT. WHAT?! Duncan: [SNICKERING] HERE IT COMES. OH HO HO! OHH! BOTTOMS UP, MAN. SORRY. FUCK. CLAIRE? AWW. Brady: CLAIRE? COME ON. [SNICKERS] LET'S LIGH THIS UP, MAN. FIND SOMEWHERE ELSE TO SLEEP. IT DOESN'T SEEM TO BE TOO HARD FOR YOU. CLAIRE-- WHAT?! TAKE ME BACK TO TOWN TOMORROW. NOW, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! [CRYING] MMM. OHH. [LAUGHING] LOOK AT THIS. LOOK AT THIS. LOOK AT YOU, YOU LITTLE LUSH. HA. OH, SASSY, TOO? YOU DRINK TOO DAMN MUCH, SUNNY. HEY, HELP ME. ME PICK HER UP? YOU PICK HER UP. IT'S ALL YOU, MAN. ALL YOU, DAWG. YOU HELP ME, I'LL HELP YOU. HOW ARE YOU GONNA HELP ME, SUNNY? OOH! [GIGGLES] HOLD ON, HOLD ON. HEY, KIT, YOU GONNA HELP ME? YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. GENTLEMEN, LOOKS LIKE WE GOT A WINNER HERE. HUBS? WHAT'S UP, BROTHER? HUBS, COME ON, MAN. I SAY WE THROW HIM IN THE LAKE, MAN. AH, LET HIM SLEEP IT OFF, MAN. YEAH. AHH. MAN, THAT WAS A DRAMATIC ENDING. NOW, IF YOU PUKE ON MY SWEATSHIRT, IT'S YOUR ASS. OH, MAN. [SUNNY LAUGHS] [SOFTLY] BRADY. MMM. BRADY. [KISS] HUH. [LAUGHS] HI. [CRICKETS CHIRPING] OHH. [COUGHS] MMM. [URP] MMM. [URP] [GROWLING] [WHIMPERING] MMM. KIT! DUNCAN! AW, MAN. WHERE ARE WE? [GROANING] [BOTTLE CLINKS] AW, MAN. UNBELIEVABLE. KIT! CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. DAMN IT. Annabelle: PRINCESS! [ARF ARF] SO DO WE PUSH I INTO DEEPER WATER OR WHAT, MAN? WE'RE JUST GONNA BACK IT OUT, ALL RIGHT? NO PROBLEM. I NEED TO GE BACK TO TOWN. WE'LL BE OUT OF HERE IN NO TIME, GUYS. SHIT, FOSTER! DID YOU PISS IN THIS BOTTLE? HA HA! OH, MY GOD! Foster: YOU'VE HAD WORSE THAN THAT. Sunny: NASTY FUCKER! [ENGINE CRANKS] [ENGINE CRANKING] AW, FUCKIN'-A, MAN! WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO CLEAN THE WHOLE SYSTEM OUT. O CAPTAIN, MY CAPTAIN... YOU GOT US ROYALLY SCREWED HERE, MAN. NO, NO, DON'T BLAME ME, OK? THE LAST PERSON TO COME ON THE BOA WAS SUPPOSED TO CHECK THE MOORING. THAT'S THE RULE. WHAT RULE? SAYS WHO? IT'S A STANDARD BOATING RULE, DIPSHIT. DO WE LOOK LIKE STANDARD FUCKING BOATERS TO YOU, MAN? HUBS WAS THE LAST ONE ON, RIGHT? YEAH, COME ON, HUBS! HUBS? HUBS! HUBS, COME ON, MAN! LET'S GO, HUBS! SHIT, YOU GUYS, I DON'T THINK THAT HUBS EVER GOT BACK ON THE BOAT LAST NIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT. LAST I SAW, HIS FACE WAS PLANTED ON THE BEACH. GREAT. SO WE LEFT HIM THERE. OR HE LEFT US. UNHOOKED US AS A JOKE, AND WENT OFF TO BONE SOME SKEEZERS OR SOMETHING. OH, ATTA-BOY, HUBS. LAY THAT PIPE, BOY. ALL RIGHT, BYE, GUYS. I'M WALKING BACK. NO, LOOK, CLAIRE, YOU CAN'T GO, OK? LOOK, I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE WE ARE. THERE MUST BE AT LEAST 30 MILES OF MARSHLAND OUT THERE. I SAY WE'RE STUCK. ALL RIGHT! NOW, WHO WANTS A BLOODY MARY? IT'S LIKE YOU'RE READING MY MIND. DOUBLE-STRENGTH COFFEE WILL DO JUST FINE. PRINCESS! [ARF ARF] COME ON, SWEETIE! [HELICOPTER] HEY... YOU WANT TO GO FOR A WALK, TRY TO WORK THINGS OUT? CUT YOUR LOSSES, BRADY, AND WALK AWAY. COME ON, CLAIRE. DON'T BE LIKE THAT. NO! [SIGHS] HOLD IT A SECOND. THERE'S A CAR DOWN IN THE WATER, GEORGE. TURN AROUND. LET'S GO DOWN AND TAKE A LOOK. [SQUAWKING] HMM. HEY, CLAIRE BEAR. NOT NOW, DUNCAN. YOU BEEN CRYING? NO, THE WIND'S JUS BOTHERING MY CONTACTS. JUST GO AWAY, OK? CALM DOWN, ALL RIGHT? I'M PLAYING THE ROLE OF THE CONCERNED GUY HERE. WELL, I'M REALLY NOT IN THE MOOD, OK? NOT EVEN IN THE MOOD FOR A LITTLE REVENGE? SWEET REVENGE? AGAINS BRADY OR SUNNY? DEPENDS ON HOW YOU LOOK AT IT, I GUESS. I WAS THINKING MAYBE YOU AND I COULD...YOU KNOW. NO, I DON'T. YES, YOU DO. BUMP MONKEYS, KNOCK BOOTS, MAKE THE BEAS WITH 2 BACKS? YOU ARE SO DISGUSTING! THAT MAY BE, BUT YOU GOT TO ADMI IT WOULD BE PERFECT. YOU'D GET BACK AT HIM, HAVE A LITTLE FUN IN THE PROCESS. WHAT DO YOU SAY? HMM? YEAH? YOU KNOW, I GOTTA CONGRATULATE YOU. I REALLY DIDN'T THINK I COULD GET ANY LOWER, BUT, SURPRISE, DUNCAN, YOU DID IT. YES, I DID. YOU'RE TOTAL FUCKING SCUM. WELL, I DO MY BEST. GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I KILL YOU. ALL RIGHT, YOU GOT IT. JUST REMEMBER... THE OFFER--TCK-- IS ON THE TABLE. SON OF A BITCH. WHOA. BRADY TURNER, YOU'RE A MORON. UH, IT'S NOT LIKE I'M GONNA BITE. SUNNY. I DON'T-- I--I JUST WANTED TO SAY I'M SORRY ABOUT LAST NIGHT. I DIDN'T MEAN FOR... I KNOW. I KNOW. DUNCAN SAID THA YOU REALLY WANTED ME TO COME ALONG ON THIS TRIP. THIS WHOLE THING HAS JUST BEEN SUCH A MESS. I JUST REALLY WANT YOU TO LIKE ME. I DO, BUT-- SHH. DON'T SAY ANYTHING. WELL? ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU WANT TO GET ME KILLED? MAYBE. [ROARING] GET OUT OF THE WATER! AAH! GET OU OF THERE! OH, MY GOD! YOU TELLING ME YOU LIKE THEM DIRTY SKEEZERS? WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? YOU GOT THAT STRAIGHT. I'M TELLING YOU, MAN, THE DIRTIER THE BETTER. I THOUGHT WE WERE WORKING THINGS OUT, YOU KNOW? I THOUGH IT WAS ALL GREAT. THERE'S NOTHING I WANT TO SAY. ALL I WANT TO DO IS GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HERE. Foster: THIS IS NASTY, MAN, BUT WE CAN FIX IT. Kit: I REALLY HOPE THE PROP'S NOT BENT. NO, IT'S FINE. RUN! RUN! YUP, YUP, I KNOW. COULD USE SOME SUCTION ON THIS BABY. WHERE'S THAT SKANK SUNNY AT? I MEAN, DO YOU THINK HE REALLY LIKES HER? NO. SHE'S SUCH A SLUT. GO! GO! GO! AAH! YOU'RE A DIRTY BOY, FOSTER. THAT'S RIGHT. CLEAR THAT OUT. I'LL START HER UP. ALL RIGHT. AAH! OH, GOD! KEEP GOING! KEEP GOING! [INSECT BUZZING] ALL RIGHT, FOSTER, STAND CLEAR OF THE PROPS! I'M CRANKING IT UP! GO FOR IT! [ENGINE STARTS] HOW'S IT LOOK? [ENGINE STALLS] NOT GOOD, BROTHER. [GROWLING] GOD ALMIGHTY. GUYS! GE AWAY FROM THE BOAT! DUNCAN, GET OUT OF THE WATER! IT'S AFTER US! WHAT? DUNCAN, GET OUT! GET OUT OF THE WATER, MAN! DUNCAN, SERIOUSLY, MAN! YEAH, THAT JOKE'S BEEN DONE TO DEATH. GET OUT OF THE WATER! GUYS, COME ON! OH, MY GOD. [GROWLS] AAH! AAH! DUNCAN, GET OFF THE RAFT! OH, GOD, HELP ME! [SHOUTING AND SWEARING] FUCK! AW, SHIT, MAN! AW, MAN, IT'S A FUCKING DINOSAUR, Y'ALL! Brady: GET AWAY FROM THERE! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, MAN?! OH, SHIT! OH! OH, MY GOD. WHAT THE HELL ARE WE GONNA DO? JESUS CHRIST. CALM DOWN. OH, MY GOD, IT'S COMING! Sunny: OH, SHIT, IT'S COMING BACK! GUYS, GET OFF THE BOAT! OH, MY GOD, YOU GUYS! JUMP! FOSTER, GET THE AX! OH, MY GOD. AAH! HOLY SHIT! PRINCESS! [ARF ARF] GET THE AX, MAN! FUCK! HEY, CLAIRE! YOU GUYS, GET OFF THE BOAT! YO, I GOT THIS FUCKING DINOSAUR! AAH! ANNABELLE! HELP ME! NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? CLAIRE! HELP! KIT! ANNABELLE, COME ON, I GOT YOU! HOLD ON TIGHT! COME ON! ALL RIGHT, WE GOT IT! AAH! JUMP! Kit: ALL RIGHT, WE GOTTA JUMP! COME ON! OK. AAH! JUMP! AAH! AAH! Duncan: COME ON. Sunny: YOU GUYS, COME ON! Sunny: COME ON! WHERE'S FOSTER? Duncan: KIT, COME ON! HURRY! HURRY! GUYS, COME ON! OH! OH, MY GOD! FOSTER! FOSTER! FOSTER! FOSTER! NO! FOSTER! OH, GOD! OH, FUCKING SHIT! OH, MY GOD! WHERE IS HE?! OH, MY GOD! [SCREAMING] OH, MY GOD! NO! COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! OK, WHAT'S GOING ON?! [ARF ARF] PRINCESS, COME ON! PRINCESS! COME ON! [WHIMPERS] [SQUEAKING] WHAT A PLACE. [DING DING DING] ONE OF YOU GUYS GET OUT HERE? LESTER? SHURKIN? WHAT? LESTER, YOU-- YOU BETTER HAVE THA TAKEN CARE OF. IT'S NOTHIN'. THEY JUST DON'T LIKE I WHEN YOU BRUSH THEIR TEETH. YOU BOYS MISSING SOMETHING? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU SURE ONE OF YOUR GATORS DIDN'T TAKE A LITTLE VACATION? OH, YOU KNOW WE KEEP THEM LOCKED UP TIGHT. WHAT'S LEFT OF THEM. GOD BLESS 'EM. LOOKS LIKE MAMA GOT LOOSE. SHURKIN! I TOLD YOU, KEEP HIM OUTTA HERE! SHURKIN, YOU REALLY SHOULD COME TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. YOU GOT A SEARCH WARRAN THIS TIME? I GOT A NEST OF SMASHED GATOR EGGS AND 2 DEAD FISHERMEN. I GOT ENOUGH TO CLOSE YOU UP FOR GOOD. AND WHAT GOOD IS THA GONNA DO YOU? [CHUCKLES] THIS AIN'T NO GATOR EGG, SHERIFF. IT'S SOMETHIN' MUCH WORSE. A CROCODILE. AND A PISSED OFF ONE AT THAT. GATOR, CROCODILE-- WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? HOLY SHIT! DID YOU SEE THE SIZE OF THAT FUCKING THING? WE GOT TO KEEP MOVING! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? Kit: LET'S GO! IT WAS THAT FUCKING CROCODILE, MAN. THAT WAS JUS AN OLD STORY. OH, YEAH, WHAT DO YOU THINK KILLED FOSTER? IT'S GONNA KILL US. AW, COME ON. IT'S GONNA KILL ALL OF US. STOP AND LISTEN. WHERE EXACTLY ARE WE GOING? KIT, PLEASE. THAT'S A GATOR EGG, SHERIFF. IF I'D TRIED THA WITH A CROC, LET'S JUST SAY YOU'D BE TYING A TOURNIQUE AROUND THE STUMP WHERE MY ARM USED TO BE. I'D SAY WE'RE LOOKIN' AT, UH... 20 FEET, MAYBE MORE. WE ALL KNOW WHO THAT IS. SHURKIN, YOU STILL TELLIN' THAT OLD STORY? HE KNOWS. YOU COULD SAY HE'S GO A HISTORY OF THE FLAT DOG. THAT'S GOD'S HONEST TRUTH. THAT EGYPTIAN CROC TORE MY GRANDPAPPY TO BITS. AND MY DADDY? WELL, LET'S JUST SAY I'VE BEEN WAITIN' MY WHOLE LIFE TO EVEN THE SCORE. DAMN IT, SHURKIN, THAT'D BE 100 YEARS AGO. 96 TO BE EXACT. HELL, THAT'S NOTHIN'. CROCS LIVE 100, 150 YEARS, EASY. Radio: SHERIFF, THIS IS DISPATCH. OVER. SHERIFF, THIS IS DISPATCH. DO YOU COPY? CLARK HERE. WE JUST GOT A CALL FROM STANLEY BICKERMAN. SAYS HE NEEDS TO SEE YOU. SAYS IT'S URGENT. OVER. YOU'RE GONNA NEED ALL THE HELP YOU CAN GET, PARTNER. A CROC THAT SIZE, GRAB YOU IN ITS 3-INCH TEETH, DRAG YOU UNDER THE WATER TILL YOUR EARS POP. JUST ABOUT THE TIME YOU'RE GONNA DROWN, IT'LL START TO SPIN. ROUND AND ROUND. WE CALL I THE DEATH ROLL. PRETTY SOON EVERY JOINT IN YOUR BODY IS ALL DISLOCATED. YOU'RE JUS A FLAPPIN' BIT OF MEAT. THEN SHE'LL EITHER SWALLOW YOU UP RIGHT THERE OR SHOVE YOU UNDER SOME ROO AND WAIT FOR YOU TO SOFTEN. YOU TRYIN' TO SCARE ME, OR ARE YOU OFFERIN' TO HELP? I AIN'T OFFERIN' SHIT, SHERIFF. I'M EXERCISIN' MY BIRTHRIGHT. BUT WITHOUT ME, THAT MONSTER'S GONNA EA EVERYTHING IN ITS PATH. LESTER, HOW ABOUT YOU? AH, I GOTTA STICK AROUND. IT'S FEEDIN' TIME. KEEP MOVIN', OK?! KEEP MOVIN'! PLEASE STOP YELLING. COME ON, WE HAVE TO GO. WHAT IF THAT THING'S REALLY MAGICAL? THAT MEANS THA WE'RE NOT SAFE. OH, PLEASE, COULD YOU BE MORE STUPID? Annabelle: OK, DON'T YELL AT HER, DUNCAN. SHE'S NOT THE ONE WHO GOT US STUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE! CAN WE JUST MOVE ALREADY?! CHILL, MAN! WE NEED YOUR HELP! OK?! THERE'S AN ACCESS ROAD THAT GOES AROUND THE LAKE. QUENTIN ROAD. CAN YOU GET US THERE? OF COURSE! YOU BETTER KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE DOIN', MAN. COME ON! LET'S GO, ALL RIGHT! LET'S GO! FUCK! SLOW DOWN. OH, HEY. SORRY TO DRAG YOU GUYS DOWN HERE LIKE THIS. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO. I GOT WHAT I COULD WITH THE NET. I'M SURE THERE'S STILL SOME OUT THERE. I...FRANKLY, I DON'T HAVE THE STOMACH TO LOOK. OH, HO HO, CHRIST! Shurkin: HA HA HA HA HA. THAT'S A CROCODILE, ALL RIGHT. DO YOU MIND, SHERIFF? GO AHEAD. TAKES A LO TO SEVER A SPINE. YOU SEE, A CROCODILE'S TEETH INTERTWINE. THEY SNAP SHUT WITH 40 TONS OF PRESSURE. I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW BAD THIS IS, SHERIFF. HO HO. YOU DON'T HAVE TO. YOU GOT NO IDEA. YOU SEE, A CROCODILE USUALLY FINISHES HER MEAL. SHE AIN'T DOING THIS 'CAUSE SHE'S HUNGRY. SHE'S ON A RAMPAGE. WHOEVER MESSED WITH THEM EGGS MADE HER GOOD AND MAD. I GUESS WE BETTER GO BACK TO THE STATION AND GET THE GUNS. BIGGEST ONES YOU GOT. Lester: FLAT DOG! FLAT DOG! FLAT DOG! COME OUT, COME OU WHEREVER YOU ARE! YOU'VE BEEN VERY, VERY BAD! KILLED ALL THOSE INNOCENTS. GOD BLESS THEIR IMMORTAL SOULS. WHERE ARE YOU, FLAT DOG? [SNARLS] OH, THERE YOU ARE. I'VE BEEN LOOKIN' FOR YOU. I CAME TO ASK YOU A FAVOR. IF YOU COULD JUS DO ME A FAVOR AND EAT THESE SMELLY CHICKENS, AND THEN... SHURKIN AND THE SHERIFF ARE OUT TO GET YA. SO JUST DO ME A FAVOR AND JUST HIDE TIGHT, AND THEN WHEN THEY'RE NOT LOOKIN', GET 'EM BOTH. I'M SICK OF SHURKIN. I'M SICK OF ALL HIS BUGGERINGS. OH, AND BESIDES, IF HE DIES, I GET THE FARM. AND I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL TREAT YOUR KIN RIGHT. I REALLY WILL. SO HERE, JUST GO AND EAT THE FUCKER. HOLD ON! [SCREAMING] [SNARLING] [INSECT BUZZING] Brady: COME ON! EATER-BE-GONE, ANYONE? AAH! OH, SHIT! STOP BEING SUCH A BABY! WELL, IT HURTS! WOULD YOU TWO JUST KNOCK IT OFF?! OK, WE GOTTA KEEP MOVING! FUCK, MY CONTACT. OH, MY GOD! WE WERE JUST ATTACKED BY SOME HUGE CREATURE, AND YOU GUYS ARE WORRIED ABOUT SOME BLISTERS AND DIRT IN YOUR EYES?! UP YOURS, ASSHOLE! I CAN'T WALK! YES, YOU CAN! GOD, SOMEBODY HELP ME! OK! OK! I'LL HELP YOU! LET'S GO! COME ON! YOU CAN DO IT! COME ON! COME ON! [INSECT BUZZING] Sheriff: I'VE HAD SOME BAD SPRING BREAKS. '92 WAS A DOOZIE, BUT JESUS CHRIST! SHH. YOU FEEL IT? SHE'S OUT THERE, WAITIN'. WHAT SHE DON'T KNOW IS THAT BY THE TIME THIS EVENING'S OVER, I'M GONNA HAVE A NEW TROPHY OVER MY FIREPLACE. GOD, I HOPE SO. I HATE THAT PLACE. EVERY TIME I SEE THAT, IT MAKES MY SKIN CRAWL. YEAH, IT'S EVIL, ALL RIGHT. ANYPLACE THAT'D HOUSE THAT DEMON CROC IS EVIL. AMEN. Annabelle: THIS SUCKS! I'VE SURVIVED 19 YEARS IN NEW YORK CITY. MURDERERS, RAPISTS, MUGGERS, YOU NAME IT. AND NOW I'M GONNA BE EATEN BY A FUCKIN' MONSTER? ANNABELLE, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THE FULL PROFUNDITY AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS ALREADY? LEAVE HER ALONE, DUNCAN. OH, GOD, YOU GUYS, I CAN'T WALK, REALLY. WE DON'T HAVE A CHOICE. SHH. SHH. I HEARD SOMETHING. SHH. WHERE'S THIS DAMN ROAD ANYWAYS, MAN? SHH SHH. KIT, WHERE'S THE ROAD, MAN? IT'S ANOTHER MILE OR TWO. WHY DON'T YOU JUST ADMI YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHERE WE ARE? YEAH, WELL, WHY DON'T YOU LEAD US, THEN, HUH? WELL, MAYBE I WILL, ASSHOLE! WOULD YOU SHUT UP, DUNCAN? BLOW ME! I'D RATHER DIE. YOU KNOW, AT THIS RATE, YOU JUST MIGHT. FUCK YOU! WHY DON'T YOU TWO JUST GET OVER YOURSELVES? WHAT, ARE YOU GOING TO CHEAT YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS ONE, BRADY? KIT, ARE YOU SURE WE'RE HEADED IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION? I THINK SO. OH, THAT SOUNDS PROMISING. Kit: GUYS, GUYS, GUYS, KEEP IT DOWN. Annabelle: THAT FUCKING THING'S GONNA GET US. GUYS, GUYS, QUIET. SHH. GOOD. ALL RIGHT, IT'S OK, GUYS. Annabelle: YOU GUYS, I'M NOT WAITING AROUND TO SEE WHAT THAT WAS. JESUS CHRIST! WE HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER. Kit: ALL RIGHT, LET'S--LET'S GO. Sunny: HOW MUCH FURTHER? AAH! SHH SHH SHH SHH. KEEP IT DOWN, GUYS. [INSECT BUZZING] I SEEN HER, YOU KNOW. REALLY? ON ONE OF MANY HUNTIN' TRIPS I TOOK WITH MY DADDY, LOOKIN' FOR HER. MOST OF 'EM COME TO NOTHIN'. BUT THIS DAY, SHE ROSE UP OUT OF THE SWAMP, ALL SCARRED AND COVERED WITH BARNACLES. THEN WHAT HAPPENED? OH, SHE ROSE UP WITH A MIGHTY ROAR. SHE FIXED HER YELLOW EYES ON MY DADDY. AND HE FIRED HIS SHOTGUN RIGHT INTO HER SIDE. SHE NEVER TOOK HER EYES OFF HIM. SHE HAD HIM FIXED IN A DEATH STARE, AND BULLETS DIDN'T MEAN NOTHIN' TO HER. WHEN SHE DECIDED TO GO, THE WATER AROUND HER EXPLODED. SHE'S GONE. WHAT A STORY YOU GOT THERE, SHURKIN. 2 DAYS LATER, MY DADDY WENT OU TO CHECK HIS TRAPS. HE NEVER COME BACK. NOW, PEOPLE IN TOWN SAYS IT'S 'CAUSE HE RUN OFF WITH SOME TWO-BIT WHORE. I KNOW DIFFERENT. Kit: I'M NOT SEEING A ROAD, MAN. COME ON. Annabelle: KIT, WE'VE BEEN HERE. WE'RE GOING IN CIRCLES. Duncan: WHY IS THA NOT SURPRISING? Brady: SHUT UP, MAN. OH, GOD. [INSECT BUZZING] UHH! UGH! [WHINING] Sunny: YOU GUYS, WE'RE GOING IN CIRCLES. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. DON'T GIVE UP, SUNNY. JESUS. AAH! ASSHOLE! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, BITCH? THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, DUNCAN. WHOA. I'M NOT THE GENIUS WHO LET THE HOUSEBOA FLOAT AWAY, ALL RIGHT? THAT WAS A BEAUT, CAPTAIN KIT. YOU KNOW WHAT? LEAVE MY BOYFRIEND OUT OF WHATEVER GRUDGE YOU HAVE AGAINS YOUR FRIEND'S GIRLFRIEND. OR YOUR BOYFRIEND'S GIRLFRIEND, WHATEVER IT IS. WHAT THE FUCK IS THA SUPPOSED TO MEAN? LIKE I NEED TO SPELL IT OUT. [CHUCKLES] Annabelle: BE QUIET. YOU DOING OK? YEAH. GREAT. LISTEN, CLAIRE, I'M SORRY. BRADY, PLEASE DON'T START, OK? LOOK, I JUST NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT I-- YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT JUS ABOUT US ANYMORE. YOU KNOW, IF DUNCAN NEVER WOULD'VE PASSED ME THAT CHEAT SHEET IN CLASS, NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING. WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT'S THA SUPPOSED TO MEAN? "IT'S NOT ABOUT US ANYMORE"? IS THERE SOMETHING THAT I-- I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU, BRADY, BUT... LET'S JUST MAKE I OUT OF HERE ALIVE, OK? [SNARLS] [BARKING] OH, MY GOD! PRINCESS! PRINCESS, COME ON, COME BACK! PRINCESS! PRINCESS! [YELPS] PRINCESS! PRINCESS! [BARKING] AAH! [SCREAMING] GET OUT OF MY WAY! HURRY! [CROCODILE ROARING] OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! RUN! OW! FUCK! SHIT! GO! GO! GO! WHERE ARE YOU? BRADY, WHERE ARE YOU? [SNARLING] BRADY! SUNNY! SUNNY? GUYS? GUYS! WAIT! WAIT! COME ON! Annabelle: I CAN'T KEEP UP, KIT! Kit: COME ON, ANNABELLE! WAIT! OH, MY GOD. BRADY! [BARKING] PRINCESS! OH, COME HERE, BABY. OH, YOU'RE OK. COME HERE. OH. GOOD GIRL. COME ON. KIT, WAIT! Sunny: AAH! SUNNY! Sunny: I'M GONNA DIE! MY FOOT! SOMEBODY HELP! Claire: SUNNY! SUNNY! Sunny: HELP! PLEASE, I'M GONNA DIE! SUNNY! SUNNY! OH, CLAIRE! CLAIRE, PLEASE, CLAIRE, HELP ME! STAY DOWN! QUIET. STAY DOWN. STAY DOWN. QUIET. QUIET. SHUT UP. QUIET. HELP ME, PLEASE. PLEASE. OH, GOD, PLEASE HELP ME. [CROCODILE SNARLING] [SUNNY SCREAMING] Claire: SUNNY, STAY DOWN. SUNNY, SHH. SUNNY, QUIET. QUIET! AAH! SUNNY! SUNNY, NO! OH, GOD. AAH! NO! NO! SUNNY! [SUNNY COUGHING] NO! COME ON! COME ON! Duncan: WHERE'S SUNNY? Brady: SUNNY'S DEAD, YOU GUYS. SHE'S GONE. Annabelle: [CRYING] NO, NO, NO, NO. Duncan: YOU NEVER EVEN KNEW HER! IT'S GONNA GET US. IT'S GONNA GET US. IT'S GONNA GET US. Claire: LOOK. Kit: OH, MY GOD. IT'S QUENTIN ROAD. Duncan: IT'S A FUCKING MIRACLE! Annabelle: IS THAT--IS THAT IT? KIT? ALL RIGHT, COME ON! ALL RIGHT! Kit: OPEN IT. Kit: COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. LET'S GO. OHH! OHH! YES! [LAUGHTER] OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD. OHH. THANK GOD FOR UNCLE BOB'S GENERAL STORE, MAN. LET ME GET A WATER, MAN. DUNCAN, HEADS UP, MAN. OH, WATER! OOH! COME HERE, SWEETIE. Duncan: HEY, LISTEN, KIT, ABOUT EARLIER, MAN-- IT'S OK, MAN. I'M CALLIN' FOR HELP. I'VE GOT TO WASH MY FACE. OH, TYPICAL. Answering machine: YOU HAVE REACHED THE LAKE SOBEK COUNTY SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT. KIT, WHERE'S THE BATHROOM? I THINK IT'S OVER HERE. COME ON. LIKE A GIANT WALKING MOSQUITO BITE. Brady: YEAH, MORE LIKE A GIANT WALKING BABY. [PRINCESS WHIMPERS] [PRINCESS WHIMPERING] AW, JESUS, LOOK AT THIS. I BROKE MY NAIL. I'M ON HOLD. AHH. HO HO HO HO. IMAGINE IF WE HAD THIS! OR THIS. BE CAREFUL WITH THAT, DUDE. Man: SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT. IS THIS AN EMERGENCY? UH, YES, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY. ALL RIGHT, HOLD ON. I'LL PATCH YOU THROUGH TO THE SHERIFF. AAH! SHIT, NO GAS. UNREAL. SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT. ARE YOU THAT EMERGENCY CALL? UH, YES, UH, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY. ALL RIGHT, ONE MOMENT, PLEASE. Brady: THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE. I'M ON HOLD AGAIN. AW, SHIT. [ANNABELLE CRYING] [PRINCESS WHIMPERS] [PRINCESS WHIMPERS] IT'S OK. WE'RE OK, PRINCESS. HELLO, CALLER? HELLO! I'M PUTTIN' YOU THROUGH NOW. THANK GOD! AAH! [SCREAMING] Brady: GET THE GUN! DUNCAN, GET THE GUN! COME ON! PLEASE START! PLEASE! GO! GO! GO! GO! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! NO. DUNCAN! DUNCAN! DUNCAN! BRADY, MAN, I LOVE YOU. WHAT ABOUT ME? UHH! DON'T PUSH IT! AAH! AAH! AAH! COME ON! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! AAH! UHH! KIT! KIT! KIT! COME ON, COME ON. AW, FUCK! [BARKING] DAMN. LOOK AT THAT. JUST KEEPS GETTIN' BETTER. [DUNCAN GROANING] AAH, WATCH IT, MAN. FUCK, IT HURTS. LITTLE BABY DOESN'T LIKE GOING OVER THE BUMPIES. AAH! STICK IT UP YOUR ASS! THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT! I'M NOT PUSHING I ANYMORE! WELL, I CAN'T CARRY HIM! YOU KNOW, YOU TWO HAVE BEEN MORE CONCERNED ABOUT WHERE THAT FUCKIN' DOG IS THAN YOU HAVE ABOUT ME! WELL, THE DOG ISN' WASTED SPACE! BRADY! Duncan: AAH! [COUGHING] COME ON, MAN! AAH! AAH! OH, HO HO HO! OW! WATCH IT! TAKE IT EASY, SWEETHEART! SHUT THE FUCK UP!FUCK! [DUNCAN YELLING] COME ON! FUCK ME! COME ON! GET BACK AND PUSH DOWN! I AM! OW! STOP DOING THAT! YOU STOP DOING THAT! YOUR FUCKING FUMES ARE KILLING ME! LOOK, I CAN'T HELP I IF I'M AN EASY TARGE FOR BUGS, ALL RIGHT? WOULD YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP?! YOU CARRY HIM! COME ON, MAN! LET'S GO! COME ON, MAN, MY LEG IS GONNA FALL OFF! JESUS CHRIST! FUCKIN' "A"! [BUZZING] [DUNCAN GROANING] [GROANING] I CAN'T MAKE I MUCH LONGER, MAN. AAH! OW! AAH! CLAIRE. CLAIRE. CLAIRE, CLAIRE. HEY! HEY! OVER HERE! OVER HERE! OVER HERE! WHERE? WHERE? WHERE? AAH! AAH! Brady: HEY, OVER HERE! Claire: PLEASE! Duncan: OH, MY GOD! WE'RE SAVED! LET'S GO! Duncan: SHERIFF. OH, YOU KIDS LOOK LIKE YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH HELL. AAH! YOU HAVE NO IDEA. WHERE ARE YOUR FRIENDS? THEY'RE GONE. WHERE'D THAT SCALY DEMON GO OFF TO? BACK IN THE WATER. YOU KNOW ABOUT HER? WE'VE BEEN TRACKIN' HER. LEFT A TRAIL OF CARNAGE IN HER WAKE. [DUNCAN GROANING] WELL, WE'D BETTER GET YOU TO TOWN BUT QUICK. YEAH, THAT'D BE GREAT. HAPPY TO SEE THIS OLD REDNECK NOW? HECKFIRE, YES. ISN'T THIS COZY? [COUGHS] IT WAS CRAZY. SHE WOULDN' STOP FOLLOWING US. SHE WOULDN' LEAVE US ALONE. I THINK YOU MADE HER MAD. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE MESSED WITH THEM EGGS. OH, I TOLD YOU YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TOUCHED THOSE. LEAVE ME ALONE, ALL RIGHT? THEY WERE ALREADY MESSED UP. RAMPAGE LIKE THIS NEEDS A TRIGGER. SHE'S KILLIN', NOT EATIN'. GUYS! THAT'S WHY WE HAVEN' SEEN HER BEFORE. SHE'S PROBABLY BEEN LURKING AROUND HERE ALL THIS TIME. IT'S OVER A HUNDRED MILES OF INLAND SHE COULD HIDE IN. GUYS! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, DUNCAN. GUYS!Brady: ENOUGH ALREADY. IT'S BACK! THIS ISN'T FAIR. THAT WON'T DO A DAMN BIT OF GOOD, SHERIFF. Brady: THIS ISN'T HAPPENING. EVERYBODY GET DOWN! WE TRIED SHOOTING IT! IT DIDN'T WORK! NOT WITH THIS YOU DIDN'T. SHERIFF, CUT THE ENGINE. Sheriff: GOD ALMIGHTY. CUT THE DANGED ENGINE! THERE'S NO WAY WE CAN OUTRUN HER. I DON'T CARE! QUIET! WHERE IS IT?! SHH. QUIET. SHE'S UNDER THE BOAT. EVERYBODY GET HOLD OF SOMETHING. Brady: CLAIRE! Shurkin: WHERE ARE YOU NOW? STAY WITH ME! STAY WITH ME! COME ON UP, YOU MISERABLE SHE-DEMON. AW, THERE YOU ARE! THIS FIRST ONE'S FOR MY GRANDPAPPY! AND THE NEXT ONE'LL BE FOR MY DADDY! AAH! Brady: OH, MY GOD! WHERE IS SHE AT? Shurkin: WHERE? WHERE IS SHE? WHERE IS SHE? SHERIFF! PULL ME UP! PULL ME UP! Brady: STAY DOWN! Shurkin: SHOOT FOR THE EYES! GET AWAY! GET AWAY FROM THE SIDE OF THE BOAT! HURRY! EYES! OH, MY GOD. Sheriff: LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. LET'S GO, LET'S GO, COME ON! DAMN IT! WHAT'S WRONG? I CAN'T STAR THE ENGINE. BUT IT SHOULD WORK MANUALLY. THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE. YOU KIDS ALL GET DOWN. I'LL GET YOU OUT OF HERE. COME ON, LET'S GE THIS THING GOIN'. COME ON, COME ON. [SCREAMING] WE GOTTA SWIM. Duncan: HAND ME A LIFEJACKET. YOU'RE CRAZY! WE'RE ALL CRAZY! WHO WAS IT THAT SAID, "A RECKLESS LIFE IS THE ONLY LIFE WORTH LIVING?" SOME DEAD GUY, I THINK! YEAH. COME ON! NOW WE'RE FUCKED! IT'S OK, IT'S OK, IT'S OK. [COUGHING] [COUGHING] I QUIT. IT'S OVER. I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE OF THIS. [CRYING] NEITHER CAN I. NO MATTER WHAT WE DO, IT'S GONNA GET US. THIS IS IT, GUYS. WE DON'T HAVE A CHOICE. WE GOTTA FIGH THIS THING. SHUT THE FUCK UP. COME ON. LOOK, MAN, MAYBE YOU WANT TO SIT HERE AND WAIT FOR THIS THING TO COME OUT OF THE WATER AND EAT US, BUT PERSONALLY I DON'T. ARE YOU CRAZY? WE CAN'T FIGHT ANYMORE. Duncan: LISTEN TO HER, MAN. LISTEN TO HER. THERE'S GOT TO BE SOME WAY. JUST FACE IT, BRADY. WE'RE DEAD. BULLSHIT! CLAIRE, GIVE ME YOUR BACKPACK. JESUS CHRIST, THERE'S NOTHING IN THERE THAT CAN HELP-- JUST GIVE ME YOUR BACKPACK! JUST GIVE IT TO ME. [LAUGHING] YOU THINK YOU GO A ROCKET LAUNCHER IN THERE? POCKETKNIFE. ALL RIGHT. [DUNCAN LAUGHING] A POCKETKNIFE, OH, THAT'S GOOD. Claire: ENOUGH, DUNCAN. WHAT'S THIS?Duncan: OH, GOD. WHAT'S THIS? IT WASN'T ME. Claire: YEAH? THEN WHO? I SAW HUBS MESSIN' WITH YOUR STUFF. WHAT? THEN WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? YOU WEREN'T TALKIN' TO ME THEN, REMEMBER? OK. OK, WE GOT A KNIFE. [LAUGHING] GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK. SHUT UP, DUNCAN. SHUT UP, DUNCAN! Duncan: STICKS! WE'LL USE THOSE SWEATSHIRTS AS BLINDFOLDS. THAT AUSTRALIAN GUY FROM THE ANIMAL PLANE DOES IT ALL THE TIME. [LAUGHING] ANIMAL PLANET! AND WE GOT SOME STICKS, AND WE'LL SHARPEN 'EM AND SHOVE 'EM DOWN HIS THROAT. WE'RE GONNA FIGH THAT THING WITH STICKS? AND WE GOT THE BAIT. OH, GOD. WE'RE NEVER GONNA MAKE IT. WE'RE NEVER GONNA MAKE IT. WE'RE NEVER GONNA MAKE IT. SHUT UP. BRADY, MAN, IN CASE WE DON' MAKE IT OUT, LET'S BE PERFECTLY FRANK. I'M NO TOO OPTIMISTIC. I GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING, MAN. DUNCAN, QUIET. I GOT TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST. NOT NOW! IT'S ABOUT THAT WHOLE CHEATING THING. I KNEW WE'D GET CAUGHT. WHAT? EVERYONE'S GOIN' TO ALL THOSE FANCY COLLEGES AND SHIT. FACE IT, I'M STUCK WITH A LIFE SENTENCE IN J.C. WITHOUT PAROLE, MAN. I JUST DIDN'T WAN TO BE LEFT ALONE. YOU GOT ME KICKED OU OF SCHOOL ON PURPOSE? PRETTY SELFISH, I KNOW. I'M SORRY. I HATE TO SAY IT, BRADY, BUT I TOLD YOU SO. COME ON. I KNEW GLICKMAN'D SEE ME PASS THAT NOTE. HE SAW IT THAT TIME. DUNCAN, IF WE EVER MAKE IT OUT OF HERE, I'M GONNA KILL YOU. FAIR ENOUGH. [COUGHING] [CROCODILE SNARLING] SHIT! BRADY! BRADY! OK. OK. OK. NO. NO! [BARKING] YAAH! OHH! DUNCAN! [DUNCAN SCREAMING] Claire: NO! COME ON, IT'S WORKING, YOU GUYS! KILL IT! AAH! NO! Brady: DUNCAN! DUNCAN! CLAIRE! CLAIRE! GET AWAY FROM THERE! CLAIRE! STAY DOWN! AAH! Brady: DUNCAN! DUNCAN! GET UP! WAKE UP! GET UP! Brady: YOU'RE NOT GONNA DIE! GET UP! AAH! AAH! DUNCAN! [SCREECHING] Brady: GET UP! YOU WERE HITTING ME. OH, THANK GOD. THIS EATER-BE-GONE... NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT. 100% INDIGESTIBLE. [BARKING] CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL YOU DISAPPEAR IN TROUBLE DON'T YOU? DON'T YOU? THEY NEVER LISTEN, WILL YOU? WON'T YOU? WON'T YOU? THE MIST HAS COME SURROUNDING YOU YOU'RE NOT OUTSIDE OF DANGER SOMETHING OUT THERE TAKES YOU ALIVE WITHOUT A STARE AND YOU'RE INSIDE SOMETHING OUT THERE TAKES YOU ALIVE YOU'RE GOING AGAIN I THINK I KNOW YOU KNOW YOU SO FAR FROM HOME DOES NO ONE OWN YOU? OWN YOU THERE'S NO WAY OU STUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF A GREAT MISTAKE SOMETHING OUT THERE TAKES YOU ALIVE WITHOUT A STARE AND YOU'RE INSIDE SOMETHING OUT THERE TAKES YOU ALIVE SOMETHING OUT THERE TAKES YOU ALIVE WITHOUT A STARE AND YOU'RE INSIDE SOMETHING OUT THERE TAKES YOU ALIVE TAKES YOU ALIVE TAKES YOU ALIVE THERE'S NO ONE THERE IN HEAVEN FOOLED YOU FOOLED YOU SO YOU'RE ALONE DID NO ONE TELL YOU? TELL YOU WANT TO GET OUT... |
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