1
There are two things
that can change my mood:
A good pop song.
And sex.
I don't have any sex,
so today I recommend
doing what my neighbors
and I do every year:
watch the UniverSong contest.
Between us,
what's wrong with
a little excitement,
a little nostalgia,
and bizarre acts
from all over the world'?
It doesn't take much preparation,
the contest does
most of the work,
all you have to do is
get the party-poopers
out of the house.
Remember to evacuate
the house by 4pm'?
And invite guests who'll enjoy
indulging in your silliness.
That's why I write my blog.
To remind all oi us
that with our dull routines...
Have a nice day, princess.
You too.
The days that are all alike...
Love you.
Me too.
You shouldn't let anybody
It's okay to close the button.
Turn off your happiness button.
- Bye, Dad.
-Bye.
So tonight,
we will celebrate the
long gone days of innocence,
the days you borrowed a cup
of sugar from your neighbor
and stayed for coffee.
The days of one TV channel,
one TV set,
and lots of people
gathered around it.
- Zohar?
-What?
What's with the turmeric'?
What?
You know she hates the smell.
It's mom's cooking.
I couldn't say no.
Tonight, we all want to be
part of the normal world
and not fight it for once.
And tonight, "competition"
isn't a dirty word-.
On the contrary.
It's the name of the game.
Everyone would give anything
to be the one who stays with us
for many years to come.
So prepare your charts
and air out your shoulder pads
and don't forget...
Did I forget something
at the office?
I hope so...
What?
To tell me when to pick you up.
Tonight...
Sorry, I promised to go to
a tenants' meeting.
Can I make it up to you'?
You ought to.
Because each one of us deserves
his own guilty pleasure.
Thank you, thank you,
and now
put the costumes
and chairs back in place.
Shlomi! Shlomi, sweetie,
take off the dress.
Daddy's picking you up soon.
Hi.
Oh-ho! What do we have here?
You'll find out tonight.
Just tidy up,
the rest is on me.
Shim!
Morn, can't you see
I'm busy?
Go upstairs, I'll be right there.
Hi. Are we meeting tonight?
Ha'?
UNIVERSONG PARTY
Oh, no. I have a gig.
On UniverSong night?
You know, it's not
the same audience.
- What about... Uh...
-Huti.
Ruti, right. Maybe
she can come?
No, Huti has basketball.
She'd never miss it.
Right, it's the semifinals.
I have men at home, too.
I mean... Um...
Right. Next year. For sure.
Hold on, one at a time,
One at a time-.
Yes, Danny.
Madam Minister, your comment
on the budget cutback?
See here, Danny,
I know these days are difficult,
but we have to stick together.
And tonight we should all
cross our fingers.
I want to take this opportunity
to address our representative
at the UniverSong,
wish him luck, and
hope he shows everybody
what amour is!
But still, Madam Minister,
a word about the cutback.
You don't expect the Minister
to address this issue
in one word, do you'?
Did I miss anything?
- Hi.
-Hey.
I guess not.
"The Minister's busy schedule
my ass.
She drove us crazy.
When she thought she might
miss the first song
she almost broke the GPS.
Oh-la-la!
I can't believe it!
Wow...
You baked all the competing
countries!
I was in a good mood
this morning.
Honey, are you okay?
Yes. No. It's just...
the cheeses... I have to put them
in the oven.
Cheese, in the oven'?
The UniverSong Contest,
brought to you by the Hummus Family,
wishing all of you
a lovely evening.
Hummus, the cream of the hummus,
the real thing.
I dreamed about him
last night.
Aren't you into that
correspondent...
Him too.
What did you dream?
I think I dreamed
I saved him from drowning...
Keep swimming, honey.
He's with the daughter
of that hotel mogul.
Not any more,
they mentioned it
in today's update.
He's with the Minister of Industry's
granddaughter-.
I forgot the snacks.
Sit down!
You are my silence
You are my voiceless walls
You are my silence
You are my voiceless walls...
I need more guitar.
I'm going, babe.
- Good luck.
-Thanks.
- Bye.
-Bye.
Well?
Listen...
What?
There's no audience, I'm sorry.
You're sorry?
It's not your fault.
The game tonight and
the UniverSong...
Don't...
What can I say,
some people still get off on it.
Ladies and Gentlemen
welcome to Prague!
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Prague.
Welcome to UniverSong!
Are you ready?
- Yes!
-Yes!
We can't hear you.
Are you ready?
Heady, ready.
Get on with it.
Okay girls, concentrate.
No talking, no comments.
Silence.
Hello, Prague!
OMG! He cut his hair!
- I thought that...
-it's just the opening.
What's up with the Mohawk?
He looks happy,
that's all that matters.
They can see we're optimistic.
It's open...
I'm so glad you came.
We're making the salsa
go, ma man.
Shaking it to and fro
Honey, honey, takin' all my money
Shaking your money-gun
all night long, come on...
He didn't show up yet
You're still sad
What's going on?
Why doesn't it come'?
He should be there by now
Now she's losing hope
What does it mean
and why do you ask
What is love anyway?
What is amour? Love!
Yes, it's the answer for sure
What is amour?
Amour is for sure
That's what love is
What is amour? Love!
Yes, it's the answer for sure
What is amour?
Amour is for sure
That's what love is...
Good stuff.
What was that?
Is he for real?
Shut up, anti-Semite.
Shh...
We go now to our last voting.
Good evening, Moscow.
Good evening, Prague- These are
the results of the Russian jury.
Israel, one point.
Israel, one point.
I can't take it. It hurts.
Okay, I'm eating Malta.
What's the matter?
You're worse than Ofer.
Anatie, it's okay.
He'll come home,
the papers will make fun of him---...
He won't come home.
He won't come home'?
Aren't you exaggerating.
He went to Thailand!
Who?
He packed his things and left.
I asked him to clear the house
so I could prepare,
and then I saw him
with a suitcase.
I thought he was surprising me
with a romantic vacation---...
I'm such a fool.
"Anat's the star baker and
I'm just the delivery boy?
He won't discuss it
because I never listen".
Of course I don't. Thailand'?!
Isn't this supposed to happen
when you're old and ugly?
Maybe I am old and ugly.
Am I old and ugly?
Of course not, Anatie.
Even if it seems like
the situation sucks...
You're about to collapse...
Even if it hurts now
and will hurl later on.
Remember that even the
darkest of nights
are followed by dawn.
Let the tears fall
and wash away the pain.
Those broken pieces
will be a whole again.
Will be a whole again.
Day by Day, Anat.
It'll all work out in the end.
You won't be all alone.
I'll always keep you
from falling.
You and me and us,
We will be there, supporting.
Your smile will be back soon.
It's already returning.
One door has closed.
What a shame.
Lime heals all wounds.
Hold your head up,
you have no choice.
Day by day, Anat.
It'll all work out in the end.
You won't be all alone.
I'll always keep you from falling.
You and me and us,
we will be there, supporting.
Your smile will be back soon.
It's already returning...
What are we listening to?
When did you come in'?
Don't you like surprises any more?
The day you surprise me
with a suitcase in hand...
Hmm... That won't happen.
Why'?
One suitcase? Me?
You dog...
I don't have a suitcase here, but...
I can offer you our
new line of salads?
Wow. Your carrot looks good!
I like carrots.
Nice song.
Whose is it?
"Whose is it?"
Remember my neighbor, Anat?
The baker,
with the cute son?
Yes.
And?
Something happened
and all us neighbors
tried to cheer her up.
And this is what came out.
Hello, Partridge family-.
It's really good.
Are you joking?
No, too bad you just
missed it.
What?
And there are six oi you,
which is the limit, right?
Where?
At the UniverSong.
Wow, someone's an expert.
One could suspect
you're a homosexual.
Ofer, don't mess around with me.
You sure?
Now focus on your tongue
and let it meet
your lower teeth.
"She sells seashells
"by the seashore.
"By the seashore
"she sells seashells."
"See shells seashells
"by the she sore...
Three cinnamon buns
to 3 Harugei Malchut St.
Three whole-wheat halva
to 7 Hangman Ave.
Busy day today.
Oh, and I need you to
babysit Shira at 7,
I have to go to your
parent-teacher meeting.
I can't, I have plans.
Cancel. Only one of your
parents can go.
Because you chased the
other one away?
Sorry?!
"Sorry isn't bad.
If you'd sprinkle a little
"thanks and "please on top
maybe your last delivery boy
would still be around.
What's your problem, Dedi?
Until last week
I had a father.
A little crushed, because Mom
doesn't appreciate
anything he does,
but at least he was around.
So now it's my fault
that your father wants to soak
in a Jacuzzi in Thailand?
What kind of crap is that?
Right, that's so Dad.
Soaking in a Jacuzzi in Thailand.
I'm wasting my time.
"Want to be the next
UniverSong representative?
The AnatOfah Band,
five women and a man,
will be representing us
at the UniverSong Contest
this year in Paris
with the song
"it'll All Work Out."
seems that the owner
of Anat-Ofah,
a generally quiet
neighborhood bakery,
isn't just sitting around
watching the dough rise,
she's the founder of the band
whose members were
unknown until yesterday...
Yes, it's an unknown band
and we've been burned before,
but remember, one member
of the band is Efrat Perry,
a promising singer
oi Tel Aviv's discotheques,
as well as former Miss Israel
Yael Kahan.
Something I should know'?
Not necessarily, ltamar.
I have a question
for the Minister's Aide.
Yes, Danny'?
Have you chosen a dress yet'?
Excuse me?
UniverSong?!
- I swear I didn't know..
-Are you crazy?
UniverSong?!
If you want to be famous
I can get you into
a reality show
- But UniverSong?
-Do you think I'm mad'?
It's irresponsible!
Can you even sing?
Forget it, it's not going to happen,
I'm so embarrassed I could die.
Actually, it's perfect for you.
Perfect for her'?
Stay out of this.
The UniverSong represents our country.
With all due respect,
you know I like you.
But the British
sent Cliff Richard,
-the Swedes sent Abba...
-Abba? Fuck! Sorry.
When I find out
how this happened
heads will roll.
Three, two, one...
"Happy birthday to you,
"Happy binhday to you...
Anatie? Yaelie'?!
Girls, what a surprise.
Kids, these are my neighbors.
That's Anat, Shira's mom...
Remember we learned about neighbors
when we read Room for Rent"?
On the first floor lives...
A fat hen!
And on the second floor...
A cuckoo!
Are you all here
to celebrate Neil's birthday'?
We would like to wish Noit
a happy birthday
and ask Uncle Ofer
to come talk to his neighbors.
"I'll gladly talk to you
for you are fine neighbors.
Honey, take the cake
and take them outside.
It was a joke, I swear,
I saw an ad in the paper
and sent in the video...
I can't believe
we're going to UniverSong!
Sorry, sorry,
it was just a joke.
I didn't even know what to
call us, so I wrote...
An at-Ofah-.
Yes.
Okay, you're right to be angry,
but now that it's done,
don't you think...
Don't even think about it!
It's a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity!
Not in my lifetime. No.
Do you really think
I'd risk my career
because someone took
you seriously?
Even if I made a disaster movie
I wouldn't use that.
What?
This nut poisons kids with Celine Dion,
and a joint bothers you?
Write a letter of apology...
And I'll stay home until they stop
laughing at me at work-.
"Song number six..."
Don't look at me like that.
The answer is no.
Wow, today is full of surprises...
What a guest.
Okay, nice glasses,
you can take them off now.
Why didn't you tell me?
Amazing, huh?
- Why are you doing this?
-What?
I can't believe I gave you
that stupid idea.
People will start digging around.
And find out what?
Don't play innocent.
Listen, buddy,
if you're looking for
an extra lock on your closet,
you're in the wrong place.
This isn't lkea.
You can pretend all you like,
but if you think I'd give this up
just to cover your ass,
you're mistaken.
But don't worry,
the girls aren't into it anyway.
So you can put your sunglasses
back on
and exit safely.
So when are you going?
What are you planning to wear'?
I'm not planning to wear anything.
- Sounds good already.
-Idiot.
Look at you.
This really turns you on.
What's that?
Bar David's file.
Bar David can wait.
We're celebrating.
Celebrating?
It's not gonna happen.
And Bar David doesn't like
to be kept waiting.
Sit down.
Page 22.
Oh-ho, I'm starting to feel exploited-.
Do you know what kind of exposure
this is'?
I know exactly
what kind of exposure this is,
and I don't intend to let
the whole world
tour through my panties again.
Go home.
Why are you reacting this way?
Why'?
I've been there, it was no big thrill,
and I chose otherwise.
Are you talented at what you
chose to do?
What?
I asked if you're talented.
You tell me.
You want me to tell you?
As talented as anyone else
at your firm.
So you should ask yourself
why you're reacting this way to
something that could be tun.
A strange empty feeling,
confusion, cold sweat, fear.
The person we're facing
might recognize it,
but we're quick to hide it.
Are we scared?
Of course not.
"Shut the shutters and
sit in the shop.
"Sut the shifters...
After all, we're proud,
sophisticated beings,
so we arm ourselves
with ideas
that explain why it isn't really fear,
but healthy common sense.
I know it's embarrassing,
the music sucks,
it's a freak show,
but what's the alternative?
To stick to your excellence
with you, me and four other people
knowing you're good?
I know it's embarrassing,
the music sucks,
it's a freak show,
but what's the alternative?
To stick to your excellence...
The problem is,
by trying to cover up the fear
we often cover up our wishes
and worry about what others will say.
I'm totally serious dad.
She and her friends formed a band.
$16.90.
Don't laugh.
Okay. Bye, Dad.
What did he find so funny'?
He read about it on
the internet...
And...?
He said he's been trying
to picture you doing it
but he can't...
That you're too much of a
control freak, or something like that.
Because we usually
tell ourselves no."
It's a fantastic mechanism
of self-castration:
"No, That's not for me,"
Who needs it?
A whole list of why-nots.
You hear about a screaming
workshop in the desert
and something in you wants to go.
But you convince yourself
not to.
Is that really what you need'?
To scream with a bunch of guys
who haven't showered since the '80s'?
Go home, it's safer there,
write another column
about things you don't do.
Salsa?
He isn't looking at you.
Why would he look at you?
It can't be,
if he wants you
he must be married.
Or blind. Or someone
who still wears a pouch.
Why go so far'?
Even writing this column.
What's the point in writing?
People won't get it.
Any excuse not to write.
Not any more.
Because when you finally do write
you're so thrilled with
those few lines
that a 4-hour drive to the desert
becomes Nirvana
and four salsa steps -
floating on air.
She sells seashells.
She sells seashells.
Congratulations, honey.
You made it from "Why not!
to "Why not?"
Because you really want to write and
dance and shout in the desert and...
Hi.
Yes?
Sorry about the time. I...
Come in, come in.
Hello, my name is Keren
and I'm going to represent Israel
in the UniverSong contest?
What's going on there, a party?
No one put up a notice.
You know,
sometimes people do things
spontaneously.
Just for fun.
Are you mad because of what
I said about that contest?
You're a big girl.
It's your life.
Go ahead, do what you want,
- I'm just...
-I told you,
I'm not going.
But I wish I wanted to go.
Why not?
I'm only 27.
I skipped over the stage
of having fun,
God forbid.
You wanted me to go to college
so I did-.
You said politics, I went into
politics.
"You said? You did"?
I'm only trying to help.
Adoctor is a doctor, a fireman is
a fireman, a driver is a driver.
Are you a singer'?
No.
Some people don't have
the luxury to make mistakes,
He was hot, wasn't he?
Asi...
Are you here to withdraw
your family's support?
To renew it, darling.
Yes?
Hello. I'm Ofer from Anat-Ofah.
Are you the manager?
No, I'm the redhead
with the bangs.
Oh, right.
We're very proud of our
"proud representatives.
Thanks. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Have a seat.
Look, Ofer, we were very
impressed with your video.
Right away we said:
That's what we want.
Something chic,
something cool
that'll start a buzz,
something groovy.
Do you get me?
Totally.
Good.
But you have to realize, pal,
entertainment is no joke.
No, huh?
No. Definitely not.
We have some great raw material here,
something to work with, but...
it's got a way to go, right?
Right.
Good, I'm glad we agree.
We'll turn you into something
you've never dreamed of.
On that very chair
sat some of our greatest artists,
and God willing,
praise His name,
with a little help from us
and a lot of money from sponsors
you'll be a light
unto the nations.
We'll make you international.
You know English, don't you'?
Of course.
Good, good.
I only hope you're cut out
for hard work.
Because...
Very soon, God willing,
we'll present your song to the nation
on a festive TV show.
"God willing"?
- What are you on?
-On live TV.
One minute I'm in the hallway,
thrilled as a little girl
looking at past the winners,
the next, he's humming our song.
It's nice that your mom let
you wear dresses when you were 4,
but my dad was so disappointed
when he heard of this.
- You're living in a fantasy.
-I sure am.
They're going to get us
the best people in the biz.
They got us a director
a musical producer
a PH woman...
And they will all wonder,
Where's Dana?"
So where's Chana?
Dana.
Dana. Where's Dana'?
Dana...
Dana is with the Minister
in London.
The choice was so sudden...
London?!
The London Mini-store.
She had a meeting
with the Minister
and she couldn't put it off,
-tom0rrow she'll...
-it's all right.
Look, friends, we all have lives.
We'll just have to set them aside
for a while.
- How does Yaakov put it?
-Yaki.
Yaki?
-Yaki, Yaki.
How does '(an pm W?
"Entertainment is no joke."
So let's start out
on the right toot!
- Good luck, Bananas.
-Good luck. Cheers.
I have to admit I'm excited.
We spoke about this spontaneous,
unpolished, almost incidental story...
Our fingers are itching.
I think this is a fascinating
human blend
that reflects a varied, fresh
take on modren Israel.
Too bad we don't have an Arab...
I don't know most of you.
Hi, Yaeli.
But you seem like
a wonderful bunch
and like ltzie I'm very excited...
- And the song...
-Terrific.
A terrific song-.
It comes from the heart
and I can't get it out of my head.
Your style is distinct, Efrat.
Thank you... I didn't know...
You are my silence,
You are my voiceless walls...
That's yours, right?
Yes.
"Varied, fresh, as Fanny said.
You wrote this one, too?
Actually we all did,
it just sort of happened-.
Wonderful!
You know, sometimes
unplanned pregnancies
make the most beautiful children.
Just ask Behira.
My mother.
Turn that off.
I'm sick of all your junk
around here.
- What's with you?
-What?
Why are you taking your
anger out on me?
I'm not angry at all.
Just go to that contest
and give us a break.
I have to suffer
because you care so much about
what everyone thinks?
Every time she left
the car you would
sing and drum on
the glove compartment-.
Acceptable, unacceptable...
Why do you give a damn?
-If you want to do it...
-Who says I want to do it?
Besides,
since when is "I want to
a reason to do something?
It's more complicated than that.
If you say so...
I'm not a singer, right'?
So?
Just as you aren't...
a fireman. Right?
Okay.
So I don't sing and you
don't put out fires.
You're a driver, right?
Yes.
So drive.
What's that smell?
This hostess was all
over me at the party-.
It stinks.
Yuck, it's Kenzo.
Do you want to taste
the lipstick, too?
- Mh-hm.
-Yes'?
What's wrong with you'?
What was that? Paparazzi?
Relax, you had your back to him.
Look back and check.
Will you relax?
- Be right down.
-Be right down.
Be right down.
Be right down.
How long do I have to wait'?
- Hello.
-Hello.
Let's go already.
Hurry up, Keren!
Admit it, you're having fun.
One, two, three, four,
freeze it.
One, two, three, four, freeze-
Different-.
One, two, three, four,
freeze. Good, Ofer.
One, two, three, four,
freeze.
- Please.
-Please.
- S'il vous plais.
-S'il vous plais.
- Thank you.
-Thank you.
- Merci.
-Merci.
I have to pee.
Hold ii.
We won't say "I have to pee
over there.
We'll say...
"I need to piss?
Hilarious.
We'll say:
"May I be excused?
Now you...
May I be excused?
Okay, may I be excused now?
I'll be right back.
Together.
Yes.
- Like this?
-Yes.
This goes this way,
and your hip goes the other way.
You see'? -No.
-The same side. -The same side.
Come here.
Apology accepted.
Did anyone mention an apology?
Thank you.
Who's into hummus?
Looks like you are.
Okay.
Okay, we're together.
I don't know what else to say.
Why didn't you tell us?
Since when are you so discreet?
I'd expect a poster
in the stairway.
I didn't even know he was...
Congratulations to the new couple.
Not so new, almost a year.
A year?!
I couldn't afford to talk about it,
I mean...
He couldn't afford to talk about it.
-If it were up to me...
-isn't it?
It is, but...
It doesn't...
-really go with his family and...
-As real as it gets.
Stop it, Efrat.
It just seems absurd
that their slogan is
"the real thing
when their son is in the closet.
Absurd, shmabsurd,
now is not the time.
Kiddies, what's going on?
Fighting already?
What's this, girls, a buffet?
That's a no-no in
the rehearsal room.
Right. A real no-no.
About your friend,
our patience has limits.
Actually, we tried, and...
we hoped, but Dana
decided not to do it.
We'll manage...
Even God created the whole
so He'd have something to cut oft.
It's everywhere, ha'?
Yeah.
And tonight,
when the whole world sees it...
I'm embarrassed that it bothers rne.
Don't you have anything to say'?
Actually, I do.
What's this?
Sweet, isn't it?
Yes. What is it?
It's by someone from Ireland
who won the UniverSong
in 70-something,
then she became a member
of the European Parliament.
She also ran for President.
Unbelievable.
Yes.
How do you know all this?
My "Women in Politics" professor
mentioned it yesterday.
Oh, you're in college?
And I don't just play
backgammon after work?
Unbelievable.
Now, girls,
forget everything I said
and just enjoy, enjoy, enjoy.
Keren, you're doing it all wrong...
After you,
This is our new studio.
Oops, watch the cables.
As you can see,
we use the latest technology,
-we've just switched to HD.
-Yes.
Girls, I assume you know Asi.
Hello.
And his dear parents
need no introduction.
The Hummus Family.
Nice to meet you.
How's it going, man'?
Platoon B, Battalion 69'?
Ofer "Bambi Hegev?
Oh, Bambi!
- H0w's it going?
-What's up?
- I'm gonna kill you...
-Oh, you know each other?
- From the army...
-We slept together...
in ambushes.
He's hilarious.
Girls, we're needed
in the dressing room
for a few final touches.
When you see your wigs you'll die.
They're amazing. Come.
What a clown.
Until recently
you wouldn't have thought
that our next guests
could represent anything,
let alone a country,
But after a month of
grueling boot camp
with the biggest guns
in show biz,
please welcome Anat-Ofah
in a premiere performance
of our song for the UniverSong:
"Anat, You've Got The Guts.
Keren, you're not going on with those.
Even if it hurts now
And will hurl later on
Look at the sky and you'll see,
I swear,
You'll always find a star
It's raining men, Honey,
Reach out and pick them
You're not alone, my baby
Together all the way
Together all the way
Anat, you've got the guts
It'll all work out
No if, no how, no buts
It'll all work out
Anat, you've got the guts
It'll all work out in the end
So far, so good, so what
It'll all work out
This is the chance of your life
You were going to risk your career
for this crap?
- That wasn't our plan.
-What?
It's nothing like what we...
What's this supposed to be'?
It isn't them at all.
- Hi.
-Hi.
Judging by the number of morons
who called, you did great.
Didn't you watch?
I was dead tired after work.
And Shira?
I told her to wake me up
when Mommy came on.
And...?
With that red thing on your head
I guess she didn't recognize you.
Did you do the invoices?
Dad said he'd do it.
Excuse me?
He's coming back on Sunday.
One of you has to
land back on Earth.
Are we going to just sit here?
I thought we needed to talk...
So, let's move to the talk part.
And let's make it quick,
I'm exhausted.
What's that look for, Keren?
Nothing.
Didn't you know
how they manipulate people'?
What?
Look who's talking.
The blogger
who just met a journalist
tor the first time'?
Yael, Yael...
What?
Did anyone ask Efrat
how she didn't notice that
they turned her song into a jingle?
They clogged my ears.
We didn't all make millions
modeling underwear
before our Bat Mitzvah...
I don't think arguing
is going to help.
Okay, you're right.
They made fools out of us.
You with your pretty face,
me with my rocker image,
and Anat as the desperate housewife.
Sorry, Anat.
They got a bunch of bitches
to dance like idiots
so everyone could say:
"How funny, how camp."
And we fell for it.
Four frustrated women and a homo.
Sorry, Ofer.
There's no use wasting time.
Lets stop this nonsesne
and move on.
And just say we're not doing it?
Can we do that?
We can do whatever we want.
It's bad for me,
it's bad for you...
Ofer, sorry, I think we...
Okay, Keren, I go overboard,
but I'm not stupid.
I'm not into it either.
I saw you from the window and...
You came to give your condolences?
I came to join you.
You have an issue with timing,
don't you'?
Let's cut the sarcasm.
Listen,
I've been watching you
and eating my heart out,
and after I saw you
on TV...
It made me furious.
We can't just let it slide.
We can either drown in sorrow
or go in tomorrow and demand
to sing the song our way.
We had something sweet and simple
that was just ours.
No one planned it,
no one engineered it,
it just came out.
It came out because
we wanted to cheer you up,
and it came out good.
What are you trying to say'?
That we can find a way.
Us, the song, the guitar...
Without all that glitter.
But the glitter is everything,
Ofer, it's UniverSong.
Well, I remember when it was
a song contest,
not a costume contest.
The conductor went onstage,
signaled the orchestra,
and the singer just started singing.
Sorry I'm late, Cupcakes.
I was talking to the Minister.
The response is fantastic.
Oh-ho, and who do I see here?
I guess success is enough to subdue
even the toughest opponents.
Welcome back.
To winning and hosting
next year in Jerusalem!
Uh, look... We met last night...
And we feel like we got a little lost.
That's totally natural.
Actually, totally natural"
is exactly the problem.
What do you mean?
It's totally not. It's not us.
Fear is totally natural, too.
You reached a certain level,
now there are expectations
and fears,
How will people react?
What will they say'?
You're so sweet...
You're a little overwhelmed.
You're instincts are to
retreat to a safe place.
Our instincts
followed you blindly,
so it's more like an eye-opener.
We had something
that was very us,
and there's nothing left of it.
Hold on, what is this?
Dreamgirls'?
We'd like, with your help,
to make it like it was before.
To go for something more solid.
Simple costumes.
Simple dance moves.
Maybe even a live guitar.
- More straightforward.
-Cleaner.
MOTQ n
.
And what? Do a tour of
community centers'?
And take our song
to the UniverSong.
Heaven help us!
Have you no respect for tradition?
You'll perform exactly
as we tell you,
You'll perform exactly
as we tell you,
or I'll find another jolly bunch
to replace you.
That's the thing,
I'm not sure it's up to you.
I beg your pardon?
We were chosen to represent Israel.
From that moment on,
how it's done is totally up to us.
From that moment on,
how it's done is totally up to us.
You don't say'?
It's not me saying it,
it's in the contest rules.
The monster turns on its creator.
It's more like the creator turns on
those who turn him into a monster.
It's more like the creator turns on
those who turn him into a monster.
Yes.
You're right, but...
With all due respect
tor the legal argument,
you forgot an important detail:
"It that which is stated in Article 16
(herein: artistic freedom),
"It that which is stated in Article 16
(herein: artistic freedom),
is not in keeping with the demands
of the dispatching entity,
"the dispatching entity may reconsider
its monetary support of the artist-"
You'll have to sell
a whole lot of cakes.
This is despicable behavior.
This is despicable behavior.
I just hope this isn't
intentional sabotage
and that the girls don't let
success take over.
Hello'?
Help with what?
How do you know already?
They asked you what?
I'll be home in a few minutes.
Their house?
Okay, okay. Bye.
Okay, okay. Bye.
What happened?
Asi says he might
be able to work this out.
How did he find out'?
And to the girls I say:
Girls! Modesty is a virtue!
And to the girls I say:
Girls! Modesty is a virtue!
Don't let it turn your heads,
one should know where he comes from.
This isn't happening...
And where he's going.
Answer already!
Zohar, where are you'?
At the Museum
with the Minister.
She's crazy.
Take a deep breath, baby.
She'll change her mind five times
before the 8 o'clock news.
Forget her, if my dad hears this
he'll watch the news
in the EH.
He'll watch the news
in the EH.
Don't be silly.
All right.
Thanks, Zohar.
Anytime.
Honey, don't be disappointed.
In theory we fight tor
justice and truth,
In theory we fight tor
justice and truth,
but reality is ugly.
The world will destroy a girl like you.
At the first hearing
they'll still be wiping their drool.
After that it won't help,
your blond hair,
your big boobs.
Your blond hair,
your big boobs.
Sometimes I wonder,
"What's she doing it for?"
Sometimes I wonder,
"What's she doing it for?"
Yeah, huh? Not exactly
a fashion show.
It's a boring world. Like me.
You know, honey,
I thought I'd reserve
the firm's guest suite-.
You could bring
the yellow costume.
The wig, the dress,
the stockings.
The wig, the dress,
the stockings.
Could be nice, ha?
The band needs another
The band needs another
Without it, the band
won't fly to Paris
and Israel won't have
a representative at UniverSong.
- Hello.
-Hi.
Sit down, sit down.
So how are you, Ofer'?
Fine, thanks.
Some wine?
Why not.
Why not.
Assaf?
Sure.
Look,
we asked Assaf to invite you over
because a situation has come up
where we can help each another.
Because a situation has come up
where we can help each another.
Let's put our cards on the table.
We know about your relationship.
We apologize for our methods,
We apologize for our methods,
but Assaf, so it seems,
is not as liberal as you
and he insisted on being
discreet.
Don't worry, we don't want to
break you up.
We aren't closed-minded people.
But you have to understand,
we have a company to run,
we have an image, employees
and a poster boy
that the public is liable to boycott
it the matter comes out.
"The matter."
Yes. The matter.
We'd be glad to help you
and your friends
We'd be glad to help you
and your friends
with your little problem.
Excuse me?
You're fighting tor authenticity.
We sell authenticity.
You know our slogan,
so as the sponsors
of the contest
so as the sponsors
of the contest
we feel an obligation,
you could even say a mission,
to back your band
and pay for the flight
-no matter what...
-And you expect us to...?
Simply maintain your discretion.
And, what do you think?
Maybe it's not such a bad idea,
we'll keep a low profile,
things will calm down...
"the real thing," huh?
Whoa...
- I can't believe it...
-I can't believe it.
I can't believe I didn't know
you were together.
I can't believe I didn't know
you were together.
How are you'?
Surprisingly less shocked
than I expected.
I tried to deny
the situation, and...
- You tried too hard.
-Yael.
No, it's okay. It's true.
No, it's okay. It's true.
- Takes one to know one.
-Yep.
It's when you try to do
the right thing
that reality smacks you in the face.
Girls, I have presents
I was saving for the flight, but...
Girls, I have presents
I was saving for the flight, but...
Wow...
Thanks.
Ofer...
Well,
Well,
it's the end of the road, girls.
At least we tried, right'?
It was the right thing to do,
our little truth. We could have
flown high.
Or crash, honey.
The world doesn't dance to
that tune any more.
The world doesn't dance to
that tune any more.
It's too subtle.
Nowadays there are synths,
samplers...
Fireworks, acrobats and wigs.
But there's us.
If you ask me, nothing is better
than having such great friends-.
If you ask me, nothing is better
than having such great friends-.
Our building has
the finest neighbors."
The best.
Stop sobbing...
Are you taking a step back?
Are you taking a step back?
A step forward.
It's so easy in the movies,
a penny drops from heaven
and it all works out.
A penny drops from heaven
and it all works out.
But in real life
nobody stands up and applauds.
You have to be persistent
and hold onto an inner voice that
won't let the other voices confuse you.
All of ii?!
One has to make
brave decisions.
Are you leaving the country?
Investing?
You could call it an investment...
What are you investing in?
The market is very weak.
In myself.
In myself.
You just have to let
the voice be heard.
Ofer! Open up!
Sometimes after years of silence
it'll burst out.
Ofer.
Go away, I don't want to see you.
Go away, I don't want to see you.
Sometimes the voice speaks softly,
but for the first time, clearly.
Hi, we spoke on the phone
about the job.
You can leave it here.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
Oh, hi. I didn't see it was you,
I'll see if she's available-.
I'll see if she's available-.
No need.
Just give her the envelope.
And sometimes it speaks
but you won't listen.
After all, a real voice
is a real challenge.
It means getting past
layers of ego,
oi insult, of recognizing mistakes
and being brave enough to
let it be heard.
And being brave enough to
let it be heard.
Dad,
I have to talk to you.
Just a second, honey.
This is for you, sir.
And those who refuse to hear it
will probably never really
accept you.
So sit alone on your favorite
park bench.
So sit alone on your favorite
park bench.
Try to look at the familiar blvd.
from a different angle.
Now your voice can be heard.
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
Yes, I'm... fine.
I see you, too, read the...
Urn, yes.
I'm actually a devoted reader.
She always says the right thing, huh'?
You think so'?
I lost a lot of money
because of her.
What?
Or rather, thanks to her.
I invented a popular
computer program.
I invented a popular
computer program.
From that day, my pockets got full
but my soul got empty-.
Since I discovered her, I---...
chase after moments of joy
instead of the next million.
Wow.
Aviv (Springtime).
Yes.
My name is Aviv.
Oh. Keven.
Nice to meet you.
Do we know each other?
Why do you ask?
I don't know,
you're looking at me as if...
What?
You look more approachable
outside the computer.
Oh, you know Head My Lisp?
Actually, I'm son of
a patient of yours.
Really?
But it seems you're one of mine, too.
And when you give in to your
inner voice, something changes.
Something in you opens up
and everything becomes simple.
It's the same bench,
the same boulevard,
but everything is different.
- Dedi?
-Mom! You arrived?
Yes. We're going to rehearsals.
Wow, cool!
- Are you guys okay?
-Of course we are.
Dad put Shira to sleep
so she can stay up tonight.
Dad?
He thought it would be nice
to watch you together.
What? What does he think?
That he can simply come and go
whenever he wants,
and you cooperate with him?
"Cooperate with him?"
What's with you'?
He's our father!
It's not all about you.
Don't talk to me that way!
What do you know?
You're just a kid.
- Hello.
-Hello.
- Merci!
-S'il vous plait!
May I be excused!
Okay, ladies. This is your
que to get onstage.
What? Uh...
That's not the playback.
That's not the song.
Excuse me'?
One moment, please, it's...
not the right version,
we prepeared something else.
Mr. Eduoard Baer, s'il vous plait.
Where to look?
Stand still, please,
stand still.
Is there any problem?
Thank you very much.
What? What?
- What thank you very much"?
-Now is Mr. Edouard Baer.
Excuse me.
What "excuse me"?
This is our first...
Excuse me, I don't know you, yes?
But I see everybody else does...
What is your problem'?
We come here do our first rehearsal,
nobody's pissing to our direction,
and then comes Messieur and they
through us away to the garbage?
Why'? We're not important?
We don't exist?
We don't need time? consideration?
- Madame...
-What is it about you men?
You think you can do everything
and it's okay.
You come when you want,
you go when you want,
and we're supposed to accept it
like it was nothing.
Why'? kousochto Monsieur,
kousochto all Monsieur...
How do you say misamcha,
Who put you...? -Anat...
Who put you to decide?
I decide we stay on stage,
do the rehearsal comme il taut,
and stop popping up
whenever you want.
Do you think it's fair'?
No, tell me, do you think it's fair?
And I know you. I know you well.
Some day you'll come back
all smiling,
expecting us to behave
as if nothing happened.
And then you say,
"Woman is crazy."
No, you're crazy
to drive us crazy like that.
All of you!
All right.
It says here: "Getting to know
YOU Party"
Maybe we should mingle'?
- Shalom.
-Shalom, Shalom. Kak dila?
(Russian)
Ah no, I don't speak Russian.
I just said that I think
we speak the "same language".
Now we do. Ofer.
Stas. Nice to meet you.
And this is my lovely wife, Oxana.
We also perform together.
"My lovely wife..."
Anat.
Monsieur, I'm so sorry.
- Really, it's all kind of...
-Don't mention it.
Why don't we get away
from all of this?
May I invite you for dinner'?
I love Paris when it rains.
In Israel we say:
"Two of us under one umbrella."
- Under one umbrella.
-Good.
So, come to think of it,
your band, Anat-Ofah,
it's based on your name?
In a way. It's the name of
a business that I'm running.
"Ofah" means boulanger.
Really? So you're not a professional
singer?
No, I'm a professional baker.
I have to ask you,
why did you...
I heard you,
and beyond all this hysteria
I really felt a woman, you know?
A real woman.
By the way, what means "Kousoto?
Sorry?
Kousoto." At one moment
you said the word Kousoto
and it seemed... very deep.
Kousoto...?
Oh, yes. Yes.
Kousochto (asshole in Hebrew).
Yes, it's deep.
I knew that.
You're really charming.
I knew it from the very first moment
I put my eyes on you.
You must have a very good eye.
Excuse me, it's from the pressure.
You know...
Maybe I should just go
back to the hotel.
Oh, you're married. Okay.
So I guess your petit husband
is waiting in the room, and...
No, my petit husband
is not waiting at all.
Explain.
I mean, you can talk to me
about it, you know.
To you, from all people?
Why not?
Do I seem to you like the portrait
of the guy jumping from bed to bed,
from gala to gala
and opening his eyes every morning
without knowing where he is'?
That's what you think I am?
It's true. I am like that.
But you know,
I was married once.
And it had everything to succeed.
Everything but one thing. Me.
If at that time I had
someone to talk to like that,
I'm sure that she would
still be around.
But no, it was always about me.
Me on TV, me on radio,
me on stage, me, me, me.
So at the end it was
still about me, but...
me alone.
How can you put that
in your mouth?
Just like this.
Pork, cheese,
these French have no God.
But they have oeuf a la coque.
Perfection.
Oeuf a la coque.
It's just a soft-boiled egg.
Pass the coffee, please.
- Thank you.
-You're welcome.
What?
What "what? How was it?
It was wonderful.
How was Edward?
Edouard.
He was wonderful.
"Edouard."
And...?
And that's that.
Fans?
What fans?
It's annoying news updates.
As if it'll kill me not to know that
the Chief Rabbi fondled a boy,
or the Minister of Culture
decided to go to Paris
to show her support
for the band...
Girls!
Peek-a-boo!
Bon appetit, everyone!
What a great surprise.
What do we have here?
Oeuf a la coque.
My husband would be drooling...
I'm so glad I came!
Shoot my better side, Reuben.
Weren't you at the briefing'?
And don't film the table,
it's not kosher.
Listen, I read your column about the
familiar boulevard that looks different
and it played on my
most sensitive heartstrings.
It filled me with pride.
What can I say'?
If you can't beat them, join them!
I'd never desert her...
Reuben, go film the other
delegates. Far away.
Thank you.
Dana, for God's sake,
pass the pork.
Ready?
Wait a second.
Is something wrong?
One little thing
before we go on, okay?
A prayer? You're kidding!
Efrat! Go ahead, Dana.
May it be Your will,
O God and God of our fathers,
that we go in peace,
walk in peace, and be guided in peace,
and may You take us to our
destination in life, joy and peace...
- Amen.
-Hold on.
"And save us from every
foe and danger on the road
"and grant us grace and kindness
and mercy in Your and everyone's eyes
and hear our plea,
for You hear prayers and pleas.
"Blessed are You, hearer of prayers.
Amen!
Amen.
Good evening.
What a wonderful night!
Welcome to Paris!
Presenting the UniverSong
is a dream come true.
It's also a wonderful opportunity
to make a lot of money
for very little work.
Many see UniverSong as
a celebration of kitsch,
but for me, it's an opportunity for
many international encounters-.
For example,
the Finnish blonde
I met the other morning.
Or the Latvian brunette
from yesterday.
And those Spanish twins last night...
Well, enough with french elegance.
I'm delighted to say that
the competition has begun!
- Dedi.
-Mom?! Are you crazy'?
- Listen, son- It's important-
-Mom!
I wanted to say I'm sorry and I...
I love you.
I know you're a wonderful boy.
No, a man, a wonderful man.
Come on, Anat.
Now, I'm delighted to welcome
the Israeli group.
Morn, you nuts, you're on!
Go kill them!
I love you, Dedi!
The name of the group comes
the bakery one of them runs.
There is nothing more beautiful
than a woman's hands in dough.
I am proud to introduce
the Israeli singers,
Song number six,
Song number six...
Morn, you're going on stage,
I'm hanging up.
An at-Ofah-.
Even if it hurts now
And will hurl later on
Remember that even the darkest
nights are followed by dawn
Let your tears fall
And wash away the pain
Those broken pieces
would be a whole again
Would be a whole again
Day by day, Anat
It'll all work out in the end
You won't be all alone
I'll always keep you from falling
You and me and us
We will be there, supporting
Your smile will be back soon
It's already returning
A whole life of joy
That's only in fairytales
But in this life, too
There are surprises yet to come
There are surprises yet to come
Day by day, Anat
It'll all work out in the end
You won't be all alone
I'll always keep you from falling
You and me and us
We will be there, supporting
Your smile will be back soon
It's already returning
One door has closed
What a shame
lime heals all wounds
Hold your head up,
you have no choice
Day by day, Anat
It'll all work out in the end
You won't be all alone
I'll always keep you from falling
You and me and us
we will be there, supporting
Your smile will be back soon
It's already returning
It's already returning
It's already returning...
You've heard it all,
you've seen it all,
and now let's go to the voting.
Good evening, Helsinki.
Good evening, Paris.
These are the results of
the Finnish jury.
Norway,
6 points.
Norway, 6 points.
Israel,
7 points.
Yes! Yes!
- Chill, you homo.
-Shh!
And finally,
12 points
go to...
Russia.
Russia, 12 points.
The Anat-Ofah Band
just finished their performance
on the UniverSong stage
in Paris,
a thrilling performance
if I may say so,
Our most charming
song in years.
But is if their simplicity enough
to win the millions of hearts
who are used to more
bells and whistles.
I'm told we are nearing
the crucial moment,
so let's all go back
to the theater in Paris.
And now we go to the final vote,
we go to Slovenia.
Slovenia, do you hear me?
Good evening, Edouard.
What an amazing show
you did tonight.
I know you're all waiting
for our result
and I don't want you keeping waiting.
Here are the results of Slovenia.
France, 8 points.
Are people betting on this online?
Shh...
Israel, 10 points.
Yes!
Israel, 10 points.
And finally, 12 points goes to...
Russia.
Russia, 12 points.
So the winner of the
UniverSong this year
is Russia.
Russia is the winner.
- I'm so excited.
-You're excited?
Tell me how you feel.
You're excited?
Second place is the true victory.
Cliff Richard came in second twice.
Twice is better than once.
Second place is better than first
It could be a real pain in the ass
to host the UniverSong in Israel.
To next year in Moscow!
Halleluyah!
Today's recommendation is love.
Yes, it's a little banal,
but sitting in a movie theater
and eating popcorn
isn't exactly original either.
It's not that I found the formula,
I just want to say
that it's still here.
Relax, friends,
it's still here.
Which is worth something
in a world that's so cold
that sometimes days pass
without touching anything
warmer than your laptop.
I don't want to say
I told you so, but...
Your concert on Friday...
Sold out!
What?
Zohar, this is my dad.
Dad, this is Zohar,
my boyfriend...
Yes, love is definitely still here.
It's here when you rediscover
your true smile.
The one you lost when you were 5.
The smile that your eyes
and lips take pan in.
That changed into a distortion of
the mouth, indicating happiness-.
The smile that suddenly emerges
when you meet someone
you really like.
Or when you do something silly
that feels so right.
Hello, Yael.
I'm calling about your application
tor the position at our firm.
Mira wants to meet you
as soon as possible...
That smile is the
best guide I know.
Just follow it,
tenderly and fearlessly.
It'll take you to where your
supposed to be.
And what hasn't yet been