1
[wind blowing]
[sighs]
Where is that damn stagecoach?
Weren't they coming
from the other direction?
That depends.
You coming or going?
I'm going west, of course.
Just like everyone else.
- Are you not?
- No.
Going back.
I've done my time here. Had it.
Why do you say that?
Oh...
Well's run dry.
I come out here to spoon-feed
religion to the savages.
Tried real hard.
Tried real hard.
They didn't want it.
Least the ones I dealt with.
Can't blame them.
We got a lot of Christians.
Don't need no more.
Have you ever seen a real life
Apache in the wild?
Yeah.
Cheyenne?
Yeah.
Shoshone?
No.
Comanche?
Yeah.
What are they all like?
I've yet to see a single one.
Mm, I don't know.
Some are lousy.
Some not.
Just like everybody else,
I reckon.
Why you coming out here?
Fresh start.
You know...
Trying to put my
troubled past behind me.
- How's that?
- You know, just...
Just tough times.
Tough times back home.
Among other things,
my wife passed
during childbirth.
That's unfortunate.
Yeah. Yeah, it's plenty rough.
It's why I'm in...
dire need of a fresh start.
I hate to break it to you,
but it ain't gonna be
no better out here.
Things are gonna be shitty
in new and fascinating ways.
[sighs]
Yeah.
Oh, Lord.
The hell with it.
All of it.
Where's that
goddamned stagecoach?
[scoffs]
[exhales]
That's it.
Here you are, son.
Comes with... advantages.
Holy Bible.
Some of
the scripture's missing.
Used it up on kindling
and rolling papers.
Hygiene.
[grunts]
Good cloth.
High thread count.
[mutters indistinct]
Yeah.
Goddamn, where's that time at?
Take this. Son of a bitch.
Oh, Lord!
Adios, amigo.
I'm coming Lord.
Here I come.
Oh, Lord. Oh, God Almighty.
[upbeat string music]
[cheering]
[horse whinnies]
[animal squealing]
[man laughing]
[laughing continues]
[slow piano music plays]
[cat meows]
Can I get a pilsner, please?
All's we got is whiskey.
That'll be fine.
[sipping]
Well, thank you.
What's wrong?
That's prime rotgut.
It's fine, it's...
It's just me.
Is you a pussy?
Um...
My stomach is from time to time.
Your stomach's a pussy.
Guess that's what
it boils down to.
[laughing]
I'm sorry.
I'm just messing
with you, buddy.
- You mind if I, uh...
- Oh, go ahead.
Obliged.
[wheezing]
So, what are you in town for?
- Just business.
- [both] Uh-oh...
Another businessman.
- Yep.
- Well, if you're interested,
we're having a gangbang social
out back later.
Matilda, oh...
Buck and a half a head.
Being new in town, it'd be a
good way for you to meet folks.
Thank you, but I'm...
I'm spoken for.
Maybe your stomach's not
the only thing that's a pussy.
Maybe you're right.
Actually, I'm in town looking
for a man named Parson Henry.
- You two gentlemen heard of him?
- The preacher?
That the fellow that was
upchucking in the corner?
- [bartender] Yep.
- Jesus.
- You sure that's Parson Henry?
- [bartender] That's what he called himself.
Didn't have that
collar thing, though.
What's that preacher
collar thing called?
I don't know.
Whatever it's called,
it looks uncomfortable.
My Adam's apple's
too big for that shit.
Look how big it is.
[bartender] That is pretty big.
Look at mine.
[man]
Yeah, you got a big one, too.
I never liked it when a barber
got in under there.
How big is yours?
Uh... I'm not sure.
I think it's about
a medium size maybe?
You don't happen to know
where I could find the Parson
right around this time of day?
[bartender]
Probably down near the shore.
That's where he's been
ending up since he got here.
Well, maybe I'll take a look
for him down there.
Much obliged.
[man] Hope you're not
looking to be saved.
Because you're going about it
the wrong way.
[laughing]
[birds squawking]
[man]
Parson Henry?
Parson Henry, is that you?
My name is Samuel Alabaster.
Do you know who I am?
Yeah.
Well, did you get my
confirmation telegram?
Yeah, I think so.
I got it here...
Somewhere.
There it is.
Why you going getting all tight
on me when you know
you got a job to do?
Well, I just...
Just got, just got a little
tipsy while waiting.
[Samuel] Well, it's bullshit.
Pretty un-goddamn professional
if you ask me.
Pardon my French.
[men laughing]
[pigs snorting]
[footsteps]
Hi.
You all fixed up?
Nice and tidy, I guess.
Thanks.
Don't mention it.
I'm docking it
from your pay 50 cent.
Here's your 29 dollars...
and 50 cent.
You'll get another 30
when we're done
and that'll get us up to 60,
as stated in the telegram.
- We square?
- Yeah, it's fine. We're square.
[cat growling]
[horse whinnies]
Morning.
Morning.
What's that?
It's a miniature horse.
Name's Butterscotch.
She's very rare.
Possibly even unique.
[horse snorts]
She's a living
conversation piece.
Regular horses don't have names.
They're just, uh, you know...
regular.
You didn't say
we was leaving town.
[Samuel] Well...
Why did you think
I was paying you so much?
[man laughing]
[coughing]
For the crimes of skullduggery,
skull thuggery,
and skull buggery...
justice is served.
[applause]
[Deputy] With tears inside
That are hard to hide
My heart is heavy now
I'll say goodbye
For a long, long time
Will we meet again?
I don't know
Yodelo-hoo, yodelo-lolo-hoo
Yodelo-lolo-hoo
yodelolo-lo
[bell ringing]
[yodeling continues]
[people speaking Chinese]
Technically speaking,
are we in Injun country?
Technically speaking, every
where's Injun country, I reckon.
[Samuel]
What kind of Parson are you?
[Parson]
You know, just the regular kind.
I reckon I'm still a neophyte.
[Samuel]
What's that, like a tenderfoot?
[Parson] I don't know, really.
It's just a fancy word.
Heard it being
used in Baltimore.
[Samuel] Baltimore.
Is that where you're from?
Yeah.
[Samuel]
Never been that far east.
- Any good?
- It's fine.
Kind of like this place will be
in 20 years, I'm sure.
[birds chirping]
[fire cackling]
[Samuel] Come here.
Good girl.
So is, uh... Is Butterscotch
like a wedding present?
Yeah. She's wanted one
for a long, long time.
They are not easy to find.
What's your, uh, fiance's name?
Penelope.
Did I not say
in the telegram?
No, you said, uh...
bride to be.
Well, soon to be
Mrs. Penelope Alabaster.
[Parson]
Wow. You're a lucky man.
This is a real prize.
[Samuel] She's the most precious
thing in the whole world.
She's like a flower.
Beautiful, soft and supple skin.
Smart.
Good at thinking, cooking...
Good at reading words.
Even good at kissing
and love-making.
What more could you ask for?
Sounds like you got
a good thing goin'.
Yep. And I just want
everything to go off well,
without a hitch.
Oh, yeah.
Whoo...
- Ooh.
- Pretty fancy, huh?
I'll say.
You know...
Marriage is a big jump.
It's hard.
Things don't always go
the way you want them to.
Well, that's what she wants,
I reckon.
It's what I want, too.
Ties it all together, big time.
Oh, look.
- An arrowhead?
- Yeah. Sharp one, too.
You know, if you want, you can
have it to give to Penelope.
Those are pretty common.
- Obliged, though.
- Okay.
[owl hooting]
I appreciate you
coming out here with me.
And I...
I apologize if there's any miscommunication
regarding the travel part.
That's fine.
I kind of...
Kind of like it out here.
It's, uh...
It's peaceful.
And, uh,
it's good for a man's soul,
I guess.
You're absolutely right.
[sighs]
Could I share
something with you?
It's just a sweet little ballad
I wrote for Penelope.
I want to play it for her
right after we tie the knot.
It's uh...
It's called "Honeybun."
[guitar strings strum]
Pitter pat
Of your beating heart
In sync with mine
When we're apart
My honeybun
My honeybun
My honeybun
My honeybun
I love you
Can't you see?
My honeybun
You're my honeybun
My honeybun
I want you just for me
You're a horseshoe
to my hoof
And I need no further proof
You're my honeybun
You're my only one for me
Honeybun,
honeybun, honeybun
Honeybun,
honeybun, honeybun
Honeybun,
honeybun, honeybun
Mmm, mmm-mm
My honeybun
[chuckles]
That was really pretty.
Why thank you.
Wow.
You're a bonafide troubadour.
[Parson] Whoa!
[laughs] Wow.
[birds chirping]
[whistling]
- [gun clicks]
- [farts]
[grunts]
Fuck!
[mumbles]
Hey!
[gunshot]
[gunshot]
Rufus!
[panting]
[yells]
[thud]
Samuel!
Samuel, are you okay?
What happened?
Let me catch my breath
for a minute.
What happened?
[grunts]
Can you pass me my canteen?
What happened?
Penelope.
She's been kidnapped.
- What do you mean?
- Because she's a prized possession.
You saw her picture.
The guy who took her's
an evil son of a bitch.
- Who?
- Anton Cornell.
Was that who you went
chasing after?
No. That was his brother, Rufus.
He's a no good
son of a bitch, as well.
I had to catch him before
he could warn that jackleg.
- D-did you catch him?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I did.
[Parson] Why didn't you just
go get the sheriff
- when it all first happened?
- The sheriff?
What sheriff?
It's the wilderness.
Ain't no jurisdiction
around here.
Didn't want to get no
authorities involved anyway.
- Why not at least get a posse?
- Hired guns?
Goosey, it's unpredictable.
I just wanted this to be
safe and low-profile.
That's why I couldn't let you be privy
to all the details straight away.
This kidnap's the most terrible
thing that's ever happened to me.
It hurts, down deep inside.
Literally, I've...
I've got ulcers.
All I want to do is
rescue Penelope safe and sound.
Marry her proper under the eyes of
the Lord and have a quiet life.
It's not too much
to ask for if you ask me.
Just want things to be nice.
[sighs]
I don't want this turmoil.
That evil son of a bitch
had to go and mess it all up.
I'm really sorry to hear that.
Parson, let me
ask you a question.
Do you believe in evil?
I mean, someone in the flesh
who's just pure goddamned
scum-loving evil?
- I don't know.
- How can you not know? You're a Parson.
Well, let me
put it to you this way.
Have... have you ever been
in true, pure love?
Now, I'm not talking about some
fly by night gangbang hostess.
I'm talking about
an undying attraction
for someone who means
more to you than anything.
- Well, have you?
- Of course.
Well, now imagine that being plucked
away from you by the scum of the earth.
For no other reason
other than because of pure evil.
Now, I'm not the type of man who's gonna sit
there and watch my world crumble all around him.
I'm gonna take fate
into my own hands.
- Don't you understand that?
- I feel for you, Samuel.
But this isn't
what I signed up for.
I agreed to join the two of you
in holy matrimony
in ceremony and that's it.
I'm sorry,
I can't be a part of this.
Because of your vocation or because
you don't believe in love?
That's just a stupid question.
Do you believe
in true pure love or don't you?
Of course I believe in love!
I'm sorry, I just can't!
Don't be lily-livered!
Where do you think you're going?
You'll never
find your way back alone.
Well, I'm no cartographer but I figured
I'd just go right back the way we came.
All right.
I'll give you 90 more.
I'll make it 150.
Look, I beg you.
Penelope's all I got left.
I'm not a gunslinger!
I don't like this!
I'm just, I'm just a man.
I'm just a man who believes
in love, plain and simple.
And all I want you to do
is officiate the wedding.
Proper like.
You make sure we're off to
a good wholesome start,
then you get a bonus
for your trouble.
I got all the dough on me.
Hundred and fifty legal
U.S. tender cold hard cash?
You have my word.
Goddammit, my nerves are shot.
[Samuel] Hey, you ever
been to a cakewalk?
[guitar strings strum]
[Parson] No.
Me and Penelope,
we met at a cakewalk.
I landed on number six.
I told her I landed on number nine because
that was her cake and I wanted to meet her.
It was love at first sight.
She actually made a pecan pie.
And I joked, "That's legal?"
Because it's a cake walk,
not a pie walk.
She laughed, said I was a card.
Best pecan pie I ever had.
Whoa.
Guess we're closer
than I thought.
[horse snorts]
Come on.
Oh, man, my nerves are shot.
Mine, too.
Doubly-so.
I also got me a case
of the groom's spooks.
It's a big commitment.
It's lifelong.
Lifelong commitment.
And there's no turning back now.
Oh, no, it's never too late
to turn back.
You know, there's no shame
in that if it's not right.
You got to do
what's best for you.
No, it's definitely right.
Besides, she needs us.
Some things a man
just can't ride around.
I don't mean to be a pessimist,
but...
have you considered the slight
possibility that they...
You know, that...
that she's deceased?
It's not a possibility.
Okay?
Let's just leave it at that.
Doesn't look like
anyone's there.
I know. They could be anywhere.
We have to proceed
with absolute caution.
Anton's a cunning bastard.
All right, here's the plan.
We want this to be
quick and easy.
Now, we leave the horses here and go to
the edge of the woods with Butterscotch,
where you two will wait.
Now, on the count of three,
I'm gonna make my way
to the rear of the outhouse.
From there,
I move on to the hideout,
where I bust my way
clear through the door.
Now if Anton's inside
I'll deal with him.
Then, I'll untie Penelope,
help her to escape.
That point, once the coast
is clear, on bended knee,
I'll ask her to be my wife.
I'll give her the ring,
and then you will emerge
from the woods with the guitar
and Butterscotch in tow.
And then you do your, uh...
The ceremony.
[Parson] All right.
What do we do
if Anton's not inside?
Just in case, we should be keeping
a watchful eye on surroundings.
Now we should be
doing that anyway.
Got to look out for an ambush.
But you're gonna
have to cover me.
What do you mean?
[gun cocks]
You take the Winchester...
and I'll take the Scofield.
I told you I'm not a goddamn hired gun.
I told you that!
Shh. I'm not asking you to do
anything other than cover me.
Okay?
It's for safety's sake.
A gun is not what I'm here for.
I know you're not
and that's fine.
Look, I'm not either.
But just please remember, that a
woman's life is at stake here.
Now all I'm asking you to do
is sit there and cover me.
That's it. Nothing else.
If you don't want to do it for me,
then just do it for Penelope.
It's all gonna be over
lickety split.
Know how to aim? Use the
crosshairs and everything?
Yeah, I know. You just...
You want to say a prayer?
For, uh, good luck
or protection or something?
No, let's just get it over with.
[guitar stings strum]
- You ready?
- What?
Okay, let's go.
[breathing heavily]
[horse whinnies]
[door opens]
[staggered breathing]
[urinating]
[gun cocks]
[gunshot]
No...
[staggered breathing]
Die, you evil bastard!
[clattering]
[gunshots]
[gunshots continue]
Penelope...
Oh, my Penelope.
My beautiful baby girl.
Everything's all right.
It's over now, you're all good.
You're safe. You're safe.
No!
[panting]
No.
[sobbing]
Penelope...
you know, uh...
you know I've always loved you
with all my heart.
And uh...
I want to ask you to be
my lawfully wedded wife.
- How dare you.
- I know we've been through
a lot of rough patches
in our lives.
But now, it...
it's time to heal.
And we can heal
if we let ourselves.
- I can't believe this.
- Penelope...
I love you...
till my dying day.
I swear it.
You... son of a bitch!
You, I hate you!
What...
- Penelope... why are you doing...?
- I hate you!
- Penelope!
- [screams]
Why?
- [screaming]
- Please, Penelope, why...
Goddamn you!
What are you doing?
[sobbing]
We were so happy together.
I know!
I know we were.
Penelope...
Don't touch me!
Parson...
Hey...
Come on. Come on, Parson.
- No, come on. It's time.
- Who the hell is that?
- Come on, now.
- [gun cocks]
[Samuel]
Now, hold on. Just let me...
- Who the hell is that?
- Let me explain.
I put a lot of thought
and care into this, all right?
Just, listen,
hear me out here.
This is Parson Henry, and I
brought him all the way up here
at my own expense to officiate.
So we could conduct things in
a proper and righteous fashion.
- Don't come near me.
- I'm not, I'm not!
Stay there!
- [Parson] I am! I am!
- [Samuel] Penelope!
What are you doing?
That's your wedding present.
The miniature horse.
I named it Butterscotch.
After one of your
favorite candies.
I know horehound
is your all-time favorite.
That doesn't seem
a suitable pet name.
I just wanted to pick
the one that sounded the best.
I don't want a wedding gift.
[Samuel] But I just wanted
to pick something special,
and personalized.
Just to show you
how I feel about you.
You always said the miniature
horse was the cutest,
most beautiful creature
you ever seen.
- I never said that.
- Yes, you did!
- I never said that!
- Yes, you did, you said it in St. Louie.
I never said anything like that. At most,
I said they were interesting looking.
- What?!
- Stop putting words in my mouth.
[Parson] Ma'am, ma'am,
please listen to me.
I'm not any part of this! I have
absolutely no idea what's going on!
Hold on. Hold on now.
Don't you hang me out to dry.
You told me, you told me
you believe in love.
You told me you believe
in love all the way.
[Penelope] There is no love here.
Let's make that loud and clear.
I thought I'd seen it
all from you, Samuel.
But, oh, was I wrong.
You can't deny...
You can't deny that there's
a powerful love between us.
There's a true pure love.
A love that goes all the way.
The only love up here
was between me and Anton.
And you took that away from me!
No! He took it away from me!
He had it coming in spades!
No one had anything coming!
Do you hear me?
I was happy up here.
I was the happiest
I've ever been in my whole life.
With Anton?
Anton Cornell.
Anton Cornell.
Lecherous, hifalutin' scumbag!
Don't you say
another goddamn word!
Why can't...?
Why can't you see
he manipulated you?
I'm... I'm the victim here.
I came here to save you.
I don't need your saving!
Baby, why are you
doing this to me?
Shut your trap!
I could never love you!
Do you hear me? Am I finally
getting through to you?
[Samuel]
All right...
[sniffles]
You gave me mixed signals.
I gave you no signals!
You're poison!
I should shoot you
in the fucking head!
Fine, then. Why don't you?
Since I'm such...
a terrible person.
If I'm the worst person
in the entire world!
If I...
If you think I'm trash...
that's not even a human being...
go ahead and just do it!
Right in my broken heart.
[whimpering]
[gun cocks]
You're not worth it.
I want you to live
with what you've done,
what you've ruined
and what you'll never have.
I want it to rot
deep inside of you,
for as long as you live.
[door creaks]
[gunshot]
No!
No!
No!
[grunts]
Goddamn you!
[sobbing]
What are you lookin' at?
[Parson]
He told me you were kidnapped.
And that you were his fiance.
He said he wanted to rescue you
and have me marry the two of you
under the eyes of the Lord.
That's all I knew, that's it,
I swear to Christ infinity.
I'm just a dumb neophyte preacher
trying to help a guy out.
I ain't in cahoots with him
or anything of the sort.
I'm just as blindsided as you,
I met him a couple of days ago
and I trusted him.
I don't want to hear another
goddamn word out of you
unless I ask for it.
Do you hear me?
Now seeing as you know
how to officiate a wedding,
I assume you know how to officiate
a funeral. Is that correct?
Uh, I reckon it is, ma'am.
[digging]
[digging continues]
- Is this deep enough, ma'am?
- We got to go deeper.
So the animals don't get him.
What about Samuel?
They can have him
for all I care.
[thumping]
How does this work?
Do I start or do you?
You I think is fine.
Anton...
You are a good man.
I loved you very much.
More than I could
possibly account for right now.
Tears me up inside to know
we'll never grow old together,
share our lives together
another day,
start a family, a copper mine.
I'll never forget you,
my sweet, precious love.
And may you find solace,
that while you're up in heaven,
that Samuel is rotting in hell.
Where's the rest of it?
In my head.
More devout that way.
Go on, then.
[clears throat]
Hear ye, hear ye.
Here lies Anton...
Cornell.
Here lies Anton Cornell.
He was a... a brave,
and noble man.
And husband.
Didn't deserve
to go out like that.
It's a big, dumb,
goddamn stupid mess.
And all Samuel's fault.
In the name
of all things holy...
[sighs]
...may he, Anton Cornell...
rest in peace,
forever and ever...
100 percent all the way.
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust,
et cetera to et cetera.
- Amen.
- Amen.
[clatter]
[clattering]
[animal snorting]
[clattering]
[insects buzzing]
What are you doing?
He owed me this.
He owed me this for officiating.
You want half,
I'll give you half.
I even got the ring
if you want it.
I don't want anything
to do with any of it.
[panting]
What happens now?
[Penelope]
I'm done here.
Moving on.
[Parson] What about me?
What about you?
[birds chirping]
Miss Penelope?
Miss Penelope?
Miss Penelope?
What?
Miss Penelope, I...
I'm of the bashful sort.
Um...
In light of the, uh,
the outhouse being occupied,
I'd like to go...
relieve myself in the woods
as tastefully and...
discreetly as possible.
All right?
Number one or number two?
Cause if you got to pee,
you can do it out here.
Number two.
[horse snorts]
[Penelope] Parson?
Parson?
[gun cocks]
[exhales]
[Parson] If that's hooch,
may I have a nip?
I'm really hurting for one.
You're not a real preacher,
are you?
It's for medicinal purposes.
Don't backwash.
Are we going back to town?
I reckon so.
Maybe I'll get you
strung up there.
If that's the case
just get it over with.
I ain't putting up a fight.
Hold tight here a minute.
[horse snorts]
Stay put. I got an eye on you.
No funny business.
Miss Penelope, are you okay?
[sniffles]
I... I can feel
your deep-seated pain.
I understand what
you must be going through.
I too suffer.
I'm haunted by
my own share of demons.
You don't understand a thing.
I want to be of help if I can.
For what it's worth...
you're a real beaut.
As divine and delicate and...
and pretty a flower as
Samuel said you were.
Is that a line?
No, no-no. It's not...
- [gun cocks]
- Cause I don't need
your foolhardy consolation,
do you hear me?
[Parson]
Okay, okay.
Now vamoose before
I blow your fuckin' lamp.
All right. Okay.
And put your dynamite back on.
[whispers] I don't want to
wear the dynamite.
I'll put the dynamite back on.
[howling in distance]
Where's Butterscotch?
I don't know.
There's predators out here.
[howling]
Butterscotch!
[hissing]
- Butterscotch!
- Butterscotch!
[Parson] Butterscotch!
Butterscotch?
Butterscotch!
Butterscotch!
[horse whinnies]
[Parson] There she is!
Is she okay?
I don't know. I think so.
[horse whinnying]
Penelope!
Penelope!
[echoing]
Penelope!
Penelope!
Penelope!
Rufus.
Saw you duck off in them woods.
Sniffed you out.
Are you trying to avoid me?
What in the hell are you talking about?
Of course not.
- What happened to you?
- What the hell do you think happened?
Samuel?
When?
Threw me off a crevasse.
Left me for dead.
My head cracked open.
Ants tried to eat my blood.
Goddamn ants, what the hell
did I ever do to them, huh?
Here, let me take a look at you.
You knew what happened to me,
didn't you?
Do you have any idea
what I've been through?
Anton's dead, isn't he?
I'm so sorry.
Saw the grave.
May not be able to read, but I know
what the letter "A" looks like.
All I can say
is that Samuel's gone, too.
And he's in hell.
And your brother,
he's in heaven.
On a big, white fluffy cloud.
[Rufus] This is all your fault.
You're a regular goddamn
black widow, ain't you?
- Ruin everything you touch.
- Hey!
I understand
that you're hurt, and angry,
but you've got no right
talking to me like that.
[rustling]
Don't mind me.
Just carry on.
Why don't you come out?
You big, yellowbellied pussy.
Sir, sir, listen.
As a man of the cloth,
I can vouch that...
that neither of us
knows diddly-squat.
Shut the fuck up. I saw you
in cahoots with Samuel.
I know what's going on here.
- Y'all are all in cahoots.
- [Penelope] Rufus!
You need to calm down
and listen to reason here.
[Rufus] Don't you know how much
my brother loved you?
I thought you two
were the real deal.
- We were.
- Then why'd you tell Samuel where you moved off to, huh?
Why'd you go and do that? I
thought that was the whole point.
- I didn't!
- How else would he have known?
I have no idea. I hadn't seen
him in almost two years.
I never would've thought
he'd come and pull this.
Then why you running around
with his posse?
- There is no posse!
- Sir, I swear I'm not his posse!
- I'm not the posse type.
- Poppycock!
What kind of two-bit preacher
are you anyway?
Rufus, you just need to
calm down and listen.
My big brother's gone.
And you're to blame.
You're not who
I thought you were.
You let me down.
You let Anton down.
Anton and I had our occasional
problems, as any couple does, but...
but I loved your brother
very much.
And we had a great relationship.
How do I get that
through your thick skull?
Rufus, listen to her,
she's telling the truth.
It's all on Samuel
and that's it.
- Shut the fuck up, preach!
- [yells]
Rufus!
[grunts]
[groaning]
You know what
we have to do now don't you?
- What?
- [Rufus] Well...
When a woman becomes a widow...
it's uh...
It's customary for her to...
marry the brother...
of the deceased.
Those ants did a number
on you didn't they?
Cause you're out of
your goddamn mind.
- It's the code of the prairie.
- No, it's not, Rufus.
There's no code, no cahoots, and
there ain't gonna be any marriage.
Oh, yeah?
Well, I got a pepper box
that says otherwise.
It's nature's way.
And preach here, he's gonna
officiate it so it's legit.
And then I'm gonna hang him.
Vengeance style.
And then you and me,
we're gonna start anew.
And carry on the plans for the
copper mine that you and Anton had.
- Rufus...
- [Rufus] Now get up.
And reach for the sky.
I mean it!
Don't try any funny business.
[Rufus] All right,
let's see here.
Goddamnit.
Do either of you
know how to do this?
- I'm terrible with knots, too.
- Rufus, quit it.
This is madness
and it ain't gonna happen.
Shit.
Well, if it don't, I'm gonna shoot the
both of you and leave you for dead.
I've been through hell.
I'm done.
I'm with child.
Did you know that?
[horse whinnies]
- No, you're not.
- Am too.
You kill me and you also kill
your baby kinfolk.
How's that settle with you?
How do I know
it's my true kinfolk?
I'm not gonna spend
another minute trying to
convince you how much
I loved your brother.
You know it, you saw it, and if
you're gonna go on questioning
the validity of my feelings,
then you can go to hell.
I don't want to hurt you, but I'm not
gonna let you pin this on me either.
This guy was just some
goddamned tagalong
stool pigeon preacher
and that's it.
And if you actually think
I'd be a part of this,
then you're the biggest
moron of all.
Now, I'm gonna go to town
and see a doctor.
You're gonna let both of us go
with no hassle whatsoever.
You're gonna go back
to your place,
milk your goat and start anew
by yourself. Is that clear?
We are gonna make the best out
of this goddamn awful situation.
Do you know if it's a boy?
Or a girl?
I don't know.
I always wanted to be an uncle.
- [arrow whizzing]
- [groans]
Rufus!
How did you...
Why did you do this to me?
I didn't do anything to you.
You're my goddamn
brother-in-law.
You always were
so frickin' beautiful.
Like a peach.
Anton always got the peaches.
All's I got was pears.
Rotten ones at that.
[groans]
[coughing]
[screaming]
[man] Hey.
You all right, ma'am?
Who the hell are you?
Why did you do that?
Zachariah Running Bear's
my name.
Why I did that is,
you were in danger.
I had it under control.
He's just trying to save us,
Penelope.
I don't need anybody's saving!
Here you go, ma'am.
Much obliged.
[Penelope clears throat]
This...
is my personal boundary.
Either of you try anything
off-kilter... you'll regret it.
[owl hooting]
Those were some of the most
tender vittles I ever had.
Thank you.
You wouldn't happen to have
any firewater, would you?
I sure could use some.
No.
[sighs]
That white woman, she taken?
I guess so...
so to speak.
She has a personal boundary.
Oh. I see.
You know, I've never met a bonafide
Indian in the wild before.
Or a noble savage of any kind.
It's your lucky day.
What tribe are you?
- Can I guess?
- No.
I understand.
Probably more sacred that way.
I'd like to make you
a proposition.
I sit here before you
an empty vessel.
A soulless neophyte
of pale faced proportions.
I hereby beg of you
to consider whisking me away...
to wherever it is you call home.
Be it teepee, wigwam,
cave or whatever.
Teaching me your native tongue,
showing me your
ancient traditions,
sharing with me
the way of your people.
I'd be eternally grateful.
And, uh, I think it would be
a win-win situation
for both of us.
We don't even have to
tell the white lady.
We could just leave now
under the cover of darkness.
I have something for you.
An arrowhead.
What's wrong with you?
I need a fresh start.
I'd even let you scalp me.
Why would I want to do that?
I don't know.
I'm just in desperate need
of a clean slate.
Let's sleep on it.
[Parson] Okay.
Good idea.
[gunshot]
[Penelope] Get up.
The Injun left before dawn.
Took yours and Rufus' horse.
And my mule.
Damn.
This is no good at all.
Why would he do that?
Are you really a preacher?
Not in the conventional sense.
Though my heart's
in the right place.
Are you really with child?
No.
Not that it's any
of your business.
I wish I was, but I'm not.
Well, this is where
we part ways.
[Parson] Now?
[Penelope] Yep.
I'm done.
Want me to change my mind?
No.
Are you gonna take Butterscotch?
No.
I know I don't know everything.
But I know
as much as I can handle
and I'd like to
leave it at that.
[gasps]
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry...
Penelope!
Hold up a second.
Penelope!
[horse whinnies]
Please!
Penelope...
I'm standing here thinking,
what am I supposed to do next?
Where am I supposed to
go from here?
It's not my problem.
Yeah, but I look at you
and I'm wondering
the same thing.
I came out
here for a fresh start.
But... it's just so
dagblurn tough.
So dagblurn uninviting.
And so dagblurn lonely.
I mean, look at this
wasteland around us.
How is anyone supposed to meet
anyone out here?
Let alone
someone you can trust.
You know?
So, so badly...
I miss having someone
to love me.
What even more so,
I miss having someone
to give my love to.
In light of the harsh,
and unsavory circumstances
that bind us...
is it so unreasonable to suggest
that we make a go of it together
in this here
hostile environment?
Aah!
My wife died during childbirth.
All I want is love.
Love and survival is all I want.
You're not exclusive
in that notion.
[sobbing]
[blows nose]
[slow guitar music playing]