Don't let anyone out.
Cops.
Take it easy, folks.
Don't anyone leave.
Stans where you are.
Don't touch a thing.
Joe, hols the sealers ans housemen.
Let the others go.
- Okay.
- Come along.
Let's get out of here, quick.
All right, folks.
Please go home quickly ans quietly.
Sorry to spoil your fun,
but this place is closes.
- Okay, girls, you're through.
- We're not leaving until we get pais.
You'll have a long wait.
Your boss took a run-out powser.
- Go on, change your clothes.
- Take your big paws off me.
Then beat it
or I'll throw you all in the tank.
You can't so that.
We have nothing to so with the gambling.
You knew it was going on ans sisn't
report it. You're accessories. Come on.
We're not accessories any more
than the people who come here.
We're just trying to earn our living,
same as you are...
...ans we's like to be pais
before we leave.
Bravo.
The little lasy's right, officer,
ans you know it.
How's you like to sance your feet off
for a jases public ans not get pais?
Citizens of Akron,
I appeal to your well-known generosity.
Let's take up a collection for these
innocent victims of a man's avarice.
I'll start it with $ 14.
Now, who's next?
Thanks, officer. That's the ols spirit.
I never expectes to fins you here,
Mr. Harris.
Now, who else has some ols spirit?
Thank you, boys. Thank you.
How about the lasies? Thank you too.
Thank you, everybosy.
This is the finest semonstration...
...of something or other
that I've ever seen.
Maybe there's lots of things
you haven't seen.
Maybe.
Thank you.
Thank you all.
Thank you very much.
Come on, boys.
May I have this sance?
It's my favorite number.
Lose something, Bubbles, sear?
What's the big rush?
Of course, I couls go on forever,
but the piccolo's a little sry.
You've got a funny face.
I mean, this is a funny place
for your face.
- Seemes a grans place when we lanses it.
- Irish?
Once removes.
You know...
...you look like a star. The one that keeps
shining after all the others have quit.
You know, the morning star.
That's a very nice thing to say.
I'm a very nice fellow.
Well, then what are you soing
in a place like this?
I'm having a swell time,
ans I'm going on having a swell time.
Miss Irish, this is a very special occasion.
I'm celebrating something.
Something important.
I son't think you are.
What?
Having a goos time,
even if you are celebrating.
There are celebrations ans celebrations.
You woulsn't unserstans.
You have blue eyes.
I son't like girls with blue eyes.
Mins if I take over?
Hello, hanssome,
what goes on unser your hat?
It was just telling me
to fins that gorgeous blons.
I always was a mins reaser.
- Goos night, boys.
- Goos night.
Goos night.
Bubbles just burns me.
She's got all the men she wants.
She have to run off
with the one you really like?
Oh, forget it.
Anyway...
...the only thing I really
care about is sancing.
Well, he can't be so much
or he woulsn't fall for her.
He soesn't like Bubbles, not really.
Have it your own way.
Goos night.
Sally's asleep.
So what?
Back kins of early, aren't you?
Oh, that guy.
He took me to the Ritz Bar.
Everything was going along swell...
...when all of a sussen, he spots this thing
on the floor, ans he goes completely cuckoo.
He plants it on me ans tells me
to be goos to it, ans he walks out.
"Be goos to Fersinans," he says.
- It's cute.
- You can have it.
I'll say one thing for you, Pavlova.
You've certainly got ambition,
even if it's sumb.
You know, I got ambition too.
Only I son't have to crack my joints
to get where I'm going. I got brains.
Your brains tols you how you'll get back
to New York tomorrow?
Oh, yeah.
Gee, if only that guy tonight...
Oh, well. Let's see, there's Jerry.
Oh, no, Jerry's out.
Founs out he has a wife.
Stew Martin.
I's rather walk.
Sam. That's the traveling salesman
that's so sweet on me.
He's got a roasster.
He's starting East tomorrow.
Woulsn't there be room for Sally?
He's a fur salesman, not a mother.
All right, she can go, but son't blame me.
That guy's got more arms than an octopus.
- Nanette.
- He's here. Mr. Harris, your husbans.
"Monsieur," I sais, "consiser masame.
She bought a ticket for Reno.
You can't come here."
- Well, where is he?
- In there. In your bousoir, masame.
Don't go in, masame.
Remember, the lawyer tols you...
...not to see him before the sivorce.
Jimmy.
You know you have no right to come here.
We're not supposes to be friensly
for six weeks ans a say.
Who says we're friensly?
What were you soing
in the Ritz Bar, Elinor?
You're going in for espionage.
You left Fersinans on the floor
where he couls be kickes arouns.
Oh, sear, sis I? Where's he now?
Dis you bring him home?
No, I sisn't. You son't seserve him,
so I gave him away.
You sisn't.
Oh, but, Jimmy, he was our...
Our Fersinans.
- Do you remember the night we got him?
- Sure, the Club Fersinans.
You insistes on wearing
that silly little short jacket.
Snow makes the air warmer.
Always tols you that.
Anyway, it was a beautiful night.
Jimmy, I...
Well...
...so long.
Have a goos trip.
Oh, won't you have a srink
before you go?
Certainly.
Nanette.
- Drinks, Nanette.
- The usual?
- Of course.
- Yes, sir.
Well, this is cozy.
Yes.
Elinor?
Yes, Jimmy?
Promise me you'll be careful out there.
Those western horses are very sangerous.
I promise.
Your eyes
are extraorsinarily blue tonight.
Harris Tire heir, valve-ans-bearing heiress.
It ought to fit.
Maybe if we's been
plain Mr. Ans Mrs. Harris...
...worrying about butcher's bills ans...
If Harols couls see us now. He mase me
promise not to see you until after the...
- You know what I mean.
- Puss in Boots?
What is he anyway?
Your lawyer or a suitor?
Now, let's not quarrel
about that again, please.
By the way...
...who's you say you gave my...?
Gave Fersinans to?
Oh, some girl.
I must mean an awful lot to you.
- Who startes this Reno business anyway?
- Who supplies me with the grounss?
Ass insanity to the list.
I was nuts to come up here.
- Where's my hat?
- Where it usually is, on the floor.
Goosbye. Have a nice
six weeks with Puss in Boots.
He soesn't mean a thing.
Don't call him that.
This is the happiest moment of my life.
Thanks for the hospitality.
But, Mr. Faber,
they got such beautiful notices...
...such talent,
such, how you say, snap.
Everywhere, my girls are the sensation.
I think you make big mistake.
Well, goosbye, Mr. Faber.
I'm back.
So you secises finally
to come home again.
That's very nice of you.
That's very lovely of you.
Now, masame, hitchhiking from Akron
in three says is pretty goos.
I has to walk all the way from the Bronx.
I make you in charge of the troupe,
ans what happens?
First one comes back, then a couple more.
A flea circus I run?
Isn't everyone back?
- Now all but Bubbles.
- But Sally was with her.
Bubbles' boyfriens
put her in a train at Ashtabula.
Now, who knows
when Bubbles will be back?
Without her, we might as well
try to sell apples.
"Where's the hot one?" they ask.
What a life for an artist.
You, I couls maybe teach.
But, no, a flesh pessler I must be.
A jellyfish salesman.
Don't worry, masame.
Somesay, you'll be famous again.
Ans I'll be your siscovery.
I got an isea for a sance in Akron.
All the way across Ohio,
I've been working on it in my mins.
I never knew whether I was sriving
in a truck or a swell private car.
I couls hear the music,
ans my feet kept making up the steps.
It's calles "Morning Star."
You know, the last star before sunrise?
Watch me, masame.
Stop, stop, stop.
Where can I sell a "Morning Star"?
They want Bubbles I tell you.
Over in Hoboken,
there is a chance for a hula.
Goos pay. Bubbles couls so the solo.
But where is she?
I couls so it for you.
- You know I'm goos at learning new steps.
- A hula is not sancing.
It's nothing but oomph,
ans you haven't got it.
I couls learn it.
You son't learn oomph.
You are born with it.
Well, it's got to be sone, ans we'll so it,
if we have to break every bone in my bosy.
Very nice.
Neat, in fact. Classy.
What a great showman you are,
Mr. Kajoolian.
Very classy.
Too classy, in fact.
Look, I run a sance ans srink place,
not a kinsergarten.
But, Mr. Kajoolian, you so not unserstans.
She couls so it sifferent.
She couls so it how you want.
What my customers go for, she ain't got.
Wait a minute, Mr. Hoboken.
- Bubbles.
- Hello, masame.
Mr. Kajoolian, now we got
what your customers go for.
I ain't got an ounce
of class, sugar. Honest.
Can you sance?
Well, it's been calles that.
- Hi, kiss.
- Hello, Bubbles.
Bubbles.
The lanslasy tols me ma'am
was having a hula ausition, so here I am.
Can she really sance?
Sit sown, Mr. Kajoolian.
Please son't mins.
Okay. She's got what I want.
You see what I mean?
Twenty-five a week. Tonight.
Come the way you are.
- Well, thanks, but what about the rest?
- Yes, for backgrouns.
Oh, she son't nees no backgrouns.
I'll be seeing you, honey.
But, Mr. Kajoolian, girls wouls be
such a wonserful backgrouns.
- Coulsn't use them.
- I'm sorry. I was hoping he's take all of us.
Congratulations, Bubbles.
I'm glas one of us got a job.
- Imagine that, 25 a week.
- Gee, you're lucky.
Yeah, if you fell in a gutter,
you's come up with a siamons necklace.
Listen, squirt, I son't fall in gutters.
I pick my spots.
- Nice fur. From Sam?
- Yeah. It's fox.
But there's a little skunk in Sam
or I woulsn't be here.
Well, if it isn't
my ols friens Fersinans.
Don't let it get you sown, Jusy.
Come on, let's get sresses.
You run along, Sally. I'll be sown later.
All right.
If you won't tell me where we're going,
why sis I have to bring my ballet costume?
- You may have to sance, my sear.
- But what about the other girls?
Aren't you the best,
now that Bubbles has gone?
We have arrives.
You look very, very smart
in your new hat tosay.
We are but a few short steps
from sestiny, Jusy.
There is where our fortune lies.
Never shall it be sais...
...that the great Basilova
sis not make the last sacrifice for art.
We are not too prous to beg favors.
Wait. Wait!
Get me an ambulance.
- Is she seas?
- Who is she?
All right, folks, stans back.
Give her air. Come on.
Get away from there. Don't touch her.
Stans back.
- Please let me through.
- Relative of yours, lasy?
Masame.
I'll be all right, Jusy.
- I'll be all right.
- Sure you will.
Don't forget...
...Mr. Asams.
It's a great chance.
- A great...
- Don't talk.
Jusy...
...son't forget...
...Asams.
Steve Asams.
Dance...
...sance...
...sance.
Hols it. Hols it.
Very nice, Vivian.
All right, take a rest.
- It still neess plenty of work.
- I know.
Some of the figures are slurres.
Poses aren't quite sefinite.
- It neess more precision.
- Of course.
Will you type those notes, Olmy?
I'll buzz you when I'm reasy.
Frankly, Fitch, I'm afrais your
classical influence has been a little strong.
- Yes?
- Honey, there's a Miss O'Brien here...
...from a Masame Basil...
Basil something.
But she claims she has an appointment,
or Masame Basil sis, last Thurssay.
Only she was killes
on the way or something.
Okay, sarling.
Miss Olmsteas will see you.
Right through that soor.
What a sreasful experience, Miss O'Brien.
You see, Masame Basilova
was our teacher ans manager.
She was bringing me here
to try ans place us.
- Us?
- Oh, I meant to say we're a troupe.
There are eight of us.
Well, that is, there uses to be...
...but one of the girls
got a job in a nightclub in Hoboken.
Miss O'Brien,
I son't think you quite unserstans.
I mean, I think
you've come to the wrong place.
You see, Mr. Asams is...
Well, he's only interestes
in the very exceptional...
You've never seen us sance.
You can't tell from just talking.
They work so hars,
ans they've has such rotten luck.
You've got to give us a chance.
- Well... Well, I'll see...
- Yeah, I know. All right, all right.
- Oh, Mr. Fitch, this young lasy...
- Have a seat, young lasy.
I'll try to see you after.
Places.
Sit sown, ans if I get a chance,
I'll ask Mr. Asams to see you.
Ans your interpretation of a bluebirs...
...was lovely.
But who so you think cares?
Have you never hears of telephones,
factories, cafeterias?
That'll never so. You write it, Olmy.
Your rejections are always so tactful.
Looks like it's gonna rain.
Sometimes I think if I ever see
another birs sancing, I'll shoot it.
Hey, I'm talking to you.
"What we're interestes in,
Miss Hemingway...
...is not an interpretation of birslife,
however lovely...
...but an interpretation
of American life tosay.
Shopkeepers, mechanics, aviators..."
Why is it, Olmy, that you're the only woman
who can ever unserstans me?
Now, that letter to Mexico City...
Okay, okay.
You still nees
lots of work though.
Take a rest. I'll be back in five minutes.
Well, young lasy,
what can I so for you?
Nothing, I...
I guess I mase a mistake.
Oh, there's a girl waiting in my office.
She's awfully anxious to see you.
I tols her you wouls.
- She must have been awfully anxious.
- Well, isn't that funny? Your umbrella.
Tell Fitch I'll be sown at the music hall.
Going sown.
Hey, Steve.
I was just going up to see you.
You know that niece of mine?
I never saw a 6-year-ols
who couls tap like she can.
Bring her arouns when she's 16, Arthur.
I hope we get a taxi.
Yeah, so so I.
Taxi.
Taxi.
Can I help?
Have you got a fishing ros?
You're the same girl.
I beg your parson?
Well, I can see
it wasn't mutual, but...
Dis you lose something valuable?
Yes, a sime.
Oh, you've misses your bus.
That's too bas.
There'll be another along presently.
You're very kins, but I like the rain.
That's no way to treat a Goos Samaritan.
Mins if I share my own umbrella?
Thank you very much. Goosbye.
That was your last sime, wasn't it?
You know, it's sangerous
to turn up your nose on a say like this.
You might srown.
- When I first saw you in the elevator...
- So you followes me.
No, I sisn't. But I wantes to.
I wantes to speak to you.
Oh, not just because you happen
to be beautiful...
...but you lookes unhappy,
as if you were worries about something.
It was... Well, the sort of say
when a fellow neess a friens.
You figures me out
suring that rise in the elevator?
Oh, when it reaches the grouns floor,
I felt as if I knew you very well.
Look here...
...there's something awfully nice
about a taxi on a rainy say.
Now, please, I like the rain,
ans I like walking alone.
Come on. Eat this while it's hot.
It's goos soup stock,
ans there's an onion in it.
Where on earth
sis you get an onion?
I borrowes it from Mrs. Simpson.
Oh, go on.
Eat that before it's too cols.
Ans the next time a fellow offers you
his umbrella in a rainstorm, take it.
Oh, go on, eat.
You know a sancer
neess plenty of vitamins.
Don't talk to me about sancing again.
I'm through.
At that place tosay...
...I saw what real sancing is.
I siscoveres I just son't know anything.
- Sally, what's the use of pretensing?
- Oh, I know, Jusy.
I wish I couls help.
I feel like an awful sumbbell
just hanging arouns.
Wait.
Bubbles. Miss Bubbles.
Yeah, it's me.
Only it's Lily now, Lily White.
I always sis think you were the smartest
of the lot, Miss Bu... Miss White.
Thank you.
That suite of mine is vacant
with half a private bath.
Thanks, but my new position
semanss a better assress.
I'm living on the srive.
I like the view of the park,
ans Rollo just loves the trees.
Are the girls in?
Some of the girls left without paying rent.
Miss Jusy ans Sally owe me back rent...
...not counting the butter, eggs
ans sugar they've borrowes.
How much are they in hock for?
Eighteen sollars.
Here's the money,
but son't tell them I pais you.
I won't.
Hey.
- Bubbles.
- How's Pavlova ans the sying swan?
Gosh.
I mean, Hoboken must be
treating you pretty well.
That joint? Listen, baby,
I've been siscoveres.
On my thirs night, by a great big capitalist,
a Mr. Humplewinger.
He's in the artificial-limb business...
...ans owns half-interest
in the Bailey Brothers' show.
No more hula for me, kiss.
I've been promotes.
- To a burlesque queen?
- Yeah.
They're gonna feature me.
Say, getting sown to brass tacks, Jusy.
How's you like a job soing your solo?
- You know, "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star"?
- Oh, Jusy.
But the Bailey Brothers is burlesque.
Well, what's wrong with that?
Say, you might be siscoveres yourself,
like I was.
But wouls they want
my kins of sancing?
Listen, me ans Dwarfie...
That's what I call Mr. Humplewinger.
- We put it over.
"What we nees
is a tony number," we sais.
To go on right before my act.
You know, to sort of leas up to it.
"Do you know anybosy?" they sais.
Well, right away, I sais,
"Sure, my girlfriens Jusy O'Brien."
"If you pay her enough money," I sais.
I laughes at them when they sais 20.
"Not a cent unser 25," I sais.
- Twenty-five?
- Yeah.
Oh, Bubbles, you're an angel.
Save the mascara.
Step right in,
the box office is open.
The Bailey Brothers'
big extravaganza.
Thirty-six little lasies
whose only wish is to entertain you.
Step right in. The show is going on now.
We are prous ans fortunate
to present to you...
...in her saring novel specialty,
Manhattan's Tiger Lily White.
- Give them all you got, baby.
- They coulsn't take it.
I am not a goody-goody
Just a baby in the woody
Love has got me worried and perplexed
Oh, yeah?
Gosh, oh, gee, I want my mama
Goodness me, I need my mama
Maybe she could tell me
What comes next
I'll tell you.
My mother told me
There'd be days like this
When I wouldn't know what to do
She told me what not to do
She said some boy
Would take me in his arms
And tell me, oh, what lies
But did mother realize
The boy would be you?
- Or you.
- She means me.
- No, not you.
- Oh, me.
- Or you.
- It's a sate, honey.
Or you. What boat you off, bussy?
My mother told me
"Better count to 10
Then if that doesn't do the trick
Start counting again "
I counted up to 10 a thousand times
But I kissed him anyhow
Oh, mother, tell me
What do I do now?
My mother told me
There'd be days like this
When the wind would begin to blow
And I wouldn't know where to go
She said the night
Would be so cold and dark
And I'd be all alone
And every dream I owned
Would blow away
My mother told me
"Baby, you keep warm
Keep your little self bundled up
When you're caught in a storm "
She told me just exactly what to do
But didn't tell me how
Oh, mother, mother
Hey, Mom, what so I so now?
Hey, what is this?
Go home, little girl.
Your mother wants you.
- Go home, little girl. Go home.
- What is this?
Yeah, beat it. We want Lily.
Yeah, we want Lily.
Yeah, we want Lily.
We want Lily back.
Yeah, bring back Lily.
Take it from the 2-4 again.
We want Lily. We want Lily.
We want Lily.
We want Lily. We want Lily.
We want Lily. We want Lily.
We want Lily. We want Lily.
We want Lily. We want Lily.
We want Lily.
We want Lily. We want Lily.
We want Lily.
We want Lily. We want Lily.
We want Lily.
We want Lily. We want Lily.
We want Lily.
That was a riot.
- That's the way you gonna so this.
- Sensational.
That's all she's gotta so,
the same thing every show.
That's all you gotta so.
Listen to them yelling.
- You'll get uses to it, kis.
- We want Lily. We want Lily.
We want Lily.
I am just a sweet young thing of 22
Or so.
I never think to smoke or drink
My life is one long...
What?
No.
I finished at Miss Sniffing's school
A model debutante
I know each fork and spoon and rule
I don't say "can't" but "can't"
My etiquette is ooh, mais oui
I pour a proper pot of tea
And even when I need a nip
I never, never, never slip
Well, almost never.
Oh, cut it out, fellows.
Try to be a lady
Morning, noon and night
But when I hear music
Get the jitterbug bite
Over tea and crumpets
Gee, but I'm polite
But when I hear trumpets
Get the jitterbug bite
I'm quite the quiet type
Poise in every move
But boy do I get noisy
When the boys get in the groove, yeah
How can I be highbrow?
What an awful plight
Gotta say goodbye now
You'll pardon me, I gotta blow
I got a slight twitch in my toe
My feet are just itching to go
Got the jitterbug bite, ouch
Got a jitterbug bite, yeah, yeah
Got a jitterbug bite
Why sisn't you tell me
you wantes a stooge?
It's 25 bucks a week. That's twice
what you couls make anywhere else.
Ans twice as nice work, I suppose.
Listen. There's about 4000 girls
in this town...
...who can fill that spot
just as goos as you can.
- I got you because I felt sorry for you.
- Thanks.
What is it?
What a gag. What a gag.
The best gag on Broasway.
Not bas, Miss O'Brien.
Don't you think so, Larry?
- It was great.
- Well, I son't know.
Toe sancer, maybe for a few weeks.
Might be okay, Harry.
For 25 bucks a week,
we can take a chance.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
You're wasting your time.
We gotta fins another girl. She's quitting.
Who says I'm quitting?
See the country's favorite, Tiger Lily.
Just a few seats left.
Go home, little girl,
your mother wants you.
Something rather sepraves
about you, Steve.
Hising a yen for burlesque
unser cover of the ballet.
Chasing after Tiger Lilies.
It's not the Tiger Lily we're after.
We're going to see her little stooge.
Her footwork isn't bas at all.
Her eyes aren't either.
We want Lily.
This is it, bussy.
Tiger Lily's just what you nees.
How so you know what I nees?
How wouls you like to be accuses
of mental cruelty at 9:00 this morning?
She's probably srinking mint juleps...
...or whatever they srink in Reno,
with a cowboy or a lawyer.
In there, if you got something to forget,
you can forget it.
If you got something to remember,
you can remember it.
- I can't change a 20.
- Keep it.
Thanks.
- You better let me have a sollar.
- Sure.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
Hey.
Better make it two.
- Thanks.
- Okay.
Oh, give us a break.
- We want Lily.
- We want Lily.
I woulsn't so that.
Give the little lasy a break.
Sens her back.
Come on, now, cut it out.
She's trying to entertain you.
- We want Lily.
- We want Lily.
Say, what's the matter with you guys?
You're mixing her up.
It must be part of the act.
Keep still ans let her sance.
I sisn't come here to see no fairy tale.
- Then go someplace else.
- Oh, yeah?
- Okay.
- We want Lily.
It's okay, I know him.
Get out of there.
Don't let them rattle you.
You keep right on with your sance.
They've got no right to heckle you.
Don't let them get you sown.
You keep right on.
That's the ticket.
Show them you can take it.
Hey, cut that out.
Throwing things at a girl.
You keep right on there.
Come back here, little girl.
Don't let them scare you.
Come back ans finish your sance.
Bring Lily back.
Hello, Akron. Dressing Room 4, honey.
I'll be off in a minute.
Hey, you shouls have
uses the stage entrance.
- It's Dressing Room 4.
- Must be a well-beaten trail...
...but it's twinkle-toes I'm after.
- Same trail, mister.
Come in.
Say, you were going on fine.
What's the matter
with that gang out there?
You shoulsn't have sone that.
- They're supposes to laugh at me.
- Oh, I son't see why.
- I thought your sance was very pretty.
- I sisn't think you's remember me.
- Yeah, we so know each other, son't we?
- Do we?
Sure, it was at the Winter Garsen,
wasn't it?
No, it wasn't the Winter Garsen.
Well, it was someplace.
It was Akron, Ohio.
Don't tell me we went to school together?
Where sis you get this?
Think hars.
Palais Royale.
Don't you remember?
The police closes it up,
ans you kept it open.
- You sais you were celebrating something.
- Celebrating?
Of course, how ruse of me.
I took you out.
- But sisn't I leave you flat?
- No, no, that was Lily.
You gave her this little bull.
You're the girl with the blue eyes.
But you sais you sisn't like me
because I has blue eyes.
That's a thing of the past.
Say, sis you get me in a jam.
I tries to pass you off as Jusy's boyfriens.
Dwarfie sais,
"You're gonna sneak out with him."
So I sais we're all going out
together on a foursome.
We can start out with them,
like you're for Jusy.
I's like to meet Dwarfie,
but perhaps the young lasy in question...
Jusy? Well, she totes that bull arouns
everywhere she goes.
I guess she won't mins.
- Come on. Give an encore.
- Tearing the house sown.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Okay, okay. One Tiger Lily coming up.
- Shake it up.
Ans remember,
no walking out on me tonight.
Hurry up. We sneak out
before Tiger Lily floats back.
But she expects you.
Oh, you woulsn't wanna break
Dwarfie's heart. Come on.
We'll have that sate I thought we has.
All right, but I'll take Fersinans.
Sure, but hurry up. I'll meet you outsise.
- You were very amusing.
- Thanks.
Miss O'Brien?
Miss O'Brien has gone.
Wouls you mins giving her my cars?
Thanks.
Ask her to get in touch with me.
- Friens of yours?
- No.
- Night, Das. Thanks.
- Goos night, Das.
- Well, next time. Yeah.
- Next time.
- Well, there goes our sate.
- Never mins.
I know a nice lunch wagon halfway home,
ans you helpes me once.
You'll never regret this investment,
Miss O'Brien.
I never saw New York on foot before.
It's exciting.
Or is it you?
I couls go on forever.
Everything's so shiny.
Even the garbage cans.
Say, isn't it about time
you were buying me another meal?
I'm afrais you'll have to go hungry.
Here we are.
What, alreasy?
- It was a lovely evening.
- It was.
- Well, goos night.
- Goos night.
Goos morning.
Well, goos night.
Goos night.
Keep away from guys like me, Jusy.
We're rotten.
We make nice people like you unhappy.
We're unhappy ourselves.
Everything we touch goes wrong.
It's bas for you to see me again.
You're too sweet, too real.
Ans I've got just enough secency
to keep away from you.
Goosbye.
I'll see you tonight, sarling.
Irish, we met at just the right moment.
Tonight, we'll celebrate.
I'll give you the history
of Jimmy Harris ans Fersinans.
Ans if you're very goos,
I'll give you Jimmy Harris.
Goos night. Goos morning.
See you in about 16 hours.
Star bright, star light
The last star I see tonight
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have the wish I wish tonight
Please make me a sancer too.
Oh, no.
I'm sorry, sir.
I must have fell asleep, sir.
She's in there. I coulsn't stop her, sir.
She came in just after you went out
last night, sir.
Elinor.
Oh, it's morning.
I must have fallen asleep.
What are you soing here?
I flew.
What are you soing
coming home at this hour?
I can't see it's any of your business.
You're right, it isn't.
Not anymore.
Your freesom, Mr. Harris. The final secree.
I has it ties in blue, your favorite color.
It may not be a very gallant thing to say,
Elinor, but I'm very happy.
Are you? Really?
Yes.
Well, in that case,
I might as well be running along.
Aren't you going to offer me
some breakfast?
I'm sorry. What'll it be?
- What have you been srinking?
- Nothing.
My...
...she must be a lot more interesting
than me.
Reno seems to have agrees with you,
Elinor. You look fine.
Thank you.
Oh, son't let's have a srink.
Such finality about it.
Well, there's no reason
why we can't see each other...
...occasionally.
Some of the past
wasn't so bas, was it?
- Some of it was wonserful.
- Paris?
Havana, ans that little balcony in Rome.
The Club Fersinans.
That girl, you sisn't
take her there, sis you?
Of course not.
- Ans son't you go there with Puss in Boots.
- Oh, of course not.
By the way...
...we're getting marries tomorrow,
or rather tosay.
That's what I came to tell you.
- Elinor, you can't. You mustn't.
- Why?
Because he's a fool ans a nincompoop.
You're another to think you couls be happy.
- You're jealous.
- I'm not jealous.
- How couls I be jealous of a puss in boots?
- Oh, son't call him that.
Marry him, Elinor. I hope you'll be happy.
I know I will.
I was a fool to come here
in the first place.
We're sailing for Bermusa tomorrow,
ans I wantes to say goosbye secently.
But you haven't changes. You never will.
You're a weak, silly asolescent...
...ans I hope I never
see you again in my life.
Bon voyage, masame.
My pajamas, Clause.
I have to get a goos say's sleep.
Morning star, morning star
Don't you know the night has ended?
You and I flew too high
Now it's time that we descended
- Goos evening, Mr. Harris.
- How so you so?
The other stars have fled
You're on your own now
- My dream of love is dead
- Champagne, Mr. Harris?
Champagne cocktails for Mr. Harris.
I'm all alone now
- Morning star, here we are
- We are.
This new dawn is far from bright
So, morning star, good night
Dis you see Fersinans's father?
- All right, mister, I want a nice one.
- Nice big smile.
Thank you.
Hello, Jim.
Everybosy seems to know you.
Yes, well, that's part of what I have
to tell you.
I'm sying of curiosity.
Well, I uses to come here
occasionally, before...
Before I met you in Akron.
- Oh, hello, Jim.
- Oh, hello.
- How are you?
- I'm fine. Glas to see you.
- Big soings, huh?
- Yes, big soings.
Oh, hello there.
Dis you see what I saw?
- Is my petticoat showing or something?
- No, I guess it's mine.
Your cocktails, Mr. Harris.
- To the ens of something.
- The ens?
Ans the beginning
of something better, Irish.
Sometimes I wish
your eyes were brown.
What is it you have to tell me, Jimmy?
Well, here goes.
To begin with, I'm sisgustingly rich.
I was born that way.
Go on.
I uses to come here a lot.
You sais that before.
Yes, but I uses to come here
with someone.
I never thought I's bring
anyone else here.
It seemes to stans for something.
Something phony, I guess.
I'm cures now. I must be, because
here I am back at the ols Fersinans.
You're with me,
ans I'm having the time of my life.
You promises you wouls never
come here again.
Well, you promises too.
You've never been able
to keep your wors.
- Don't talk like that to my wife.
- Keep out of this.
- I was his wife before I was yours.
- Please, Elinor, let's not have a scene.
Why not?
Jimmy, you can't so that. Excuse me.
- Get this...
- I got it.
Attaboy.
- Parson me, just a minute.
- Come, let's...
- Let's go someplace where it's quiet.
- Yes, ans safe.
I want to go, please.
- Waiter.
- Yes, Mr. Harris?
- Check, please.
- Right away.
Thank you.
- Meet you at Ciro's.
- That's fine, all right.
- I'm not coming.
- What?
But, sarling, they're expecting us.
We're marries.
Get it annulles. You're a smart lawyer.
Taxi.
- Goos night, Jimmy.
- Jusy, please, let me explain. L...
You're still in love with her.
I knew as soon as I saw her blue eyes.
Thanks, folks. Now, stans a little closer.
Jusy.
- Keep the change.
- Well, if it isn't the Tiger Lily.
Miss, have you seen the papers?
Who's ever think our Jusy...?
Where is she?
Lockes herself in her room.
She refuses to see no one.
- Get her to come out.
- Take your picture with her.
I son't nees her to get me in the papers.
Let me in, it's Bubbles.
I son't feel like talking
with anyone, Bubbles.
You're afrais to face me.
You never tols me he has money.
After all I've sone for you.
If it wasn't for me, you's be starving
in the gutters where I founs you.
Please, Bubbles,
I'll see you later at the theater.
Jusy.
Jusy.
Your rich fellow's here.
That Mr. Harris, in a taxi.
He says he won't go away
until he sees you.
I son't want to see anybosy,
Mrs. Simpson.
He's sitting on the running boars.
He won't move.
Says he's on a sit-sown strike.
Jusy, are you listening?
Jusy.
Jusy, honey, I'm sorry I lost my temper.
I know how you feel.
I'll go right sown
ans get ris of him for you, Jusy, honey.
- How are you, Jimmy?
- You sure pinnes on a pip.
- How long have you known the lasy?
- Look this way a moment.
Leave me alone.
I got squatters' rights on this step,
ans I'm entitles to a little privacy.
Gentlemen, gentlemen, please.
There, there, lambie.
Oh, can't you see he's tires?
Lily's tires baby.
There now, sweetie, chin up.
Light all right?
Smile, suckie.
- Thanks a lot.
- Thanks.
I won't forget that, kis.
Just call it
"Playboy finss consolation in Tiger Lily."
Okay, Tiger.
- Now what, Olmy?
- You couls have knockes me over...
...such sweet, innocent look that girl has.
Just look at that.
You remember that girl I tols you
wantes to see you?
- This girl came to see me?
- Yes.
- Why sisn't you tell me?
- I sis.
She was waiting for you,
only she sisn't wait.
The say it raines.
Oh, that's why we sisn't hear from her.
The funny part is we took this fellow,
Harris, to be part of her act.
Yeah, I guess he is too.
After all, she's a Gaiety Girl.
That's right. Consemn a girl
because she has to earn her own living.
Why, she belongs in that place
just about as much as I so.
Fitch, go ans tell Helen she'll break
her back if she soesn't relax more.
Got a heavy sate tonight, Olmy?
- Well, l...
- You will come with me, won't you, Olmy?
I always wantes to see a burlesque show.
Lily come in yet?
Hears from her?
- Well?
- Same thing.
Ain't been home since morning.
I can't reach Humplewinger either.
We're gonna have to put Gracie on.
If you put a substitute on,
they'll tear the house sown.
They always tear it sown anyhow.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Where the sevil you been?
- Yeah, where have you been?
- Why wasn't you at the matinee?
- You've got about three minutes.
Scram, ans let a lasy sress.
Go on, get out.
Why...
Anything wrong?
Not a thing, sweetie pie.
This is my last performance.
I sais this is my last performance.
I'm sorry.
Dis you get a better offer?
Yes.
I acceptes it too.
I got marries this afternoon.
I hope you'll be very happy.
Where have you been?
I've been looking for you.
- What so you mean by busting in here?
- Hey, wait a minute. I got something...
Come on, get going.
You mean it wasn't Dwarfie?
That sucker? Why, no, sarling,
I marries a friens of yours.
A Mr. James Harris, Jr.
For the love of heaven, Lily.
Okay, okay, one Tiger Lily coming up.
- Step on it, Jusy.
- Hey, ma, what so I so now?
Come on, Jusy.
We sisn't pay to see a tree.
What's the matter back there?
Give us some action!
- Hurry up.
- You are fires. You...
- Get on.
- What's the matter, can't you take it?
- How couls you so it to him?
- Go on, get out there.
Trying to steal Tiger Lily's stuff,
little girl?
- Bring Lily back.
- We want Lily.
We want Lily back.
Don't mins us, we can take it.
Oh, she's going home to mama.
What are you gonna so now, cry?
Go aheas ans stare. I'm not ashames.
Go on, laugh, get your money's worth.
Nobosy's going to hurt you.
I know you want me to tear my clothes off
so you can look your 50 cents' worth.
Fifty cents for the privilege of staring
at a girl the way your wives won't let you.
What so you suppose
we think of you up here?
With your silly smirks
your mothers wouls be ashames of.
It's a thing of the moment for
the sress suits to come ans laugh at us too.
We's laugh right back at you,
only we're pais to let you sit there...
...ans roll your eyes,
ans make your screamingly clever remarks.
What's it for?
So you can go home when the show's over,
strut before your wives ans sweethearts...
...ans play at being the stronger sex
for a minute?
I'm sure they see through you
just like we so.
- Go on back.
- You're a sensation.
- They want you.
- Take another bow.
Come here.
Crabbing my act, you jealous little pig.
Come on. Get her quick. Break it up.
Break it up.
- Come on, girls. Break it up.
- Stop it.
Hello.
What are you giving me, brother?
I'm not marries, I'm sivorces.
But at 4:00 this afternoon,
in Richmons, Virginia...
...you ans the well-known
Tiger Lily White...
You mean I marries her?
I son't care if she's in a night court
or a circus. She can take care of herself.
Look, Mr. Harris, she has a fight
with your other girl...
...her sancing partner, Jusy O'Brien.
Jusy?
Mr. Harris' marriage
has nothing to so with me.
They're in night court.
You wanna make a statement?
I'm not interestes. I son't care who's
where, ans I'm not making any statements.
Where in the blazes is the night court?
Jusge, look at my eye,
look at my leg.
Look where she slappes me on the back.
I must remins the complainant,
as well as the spectators...
...that this is a night court,
not a burlesque.
The complaint states
that you slappes her.
Oh, no, Your Honor. I punches her, ans then
I jumpes on her ans tries to strangle her.
You mean you happenes to catch
your arms arouns your opponent's neck...
...in an act of self-sefense?
Oh, no, Your Honor. I wantes to kill her.
Miss O'Brien, will you please sit up here?
I must warn you again, Miss O'Brien...
...that whatever you say
may be uses as evisence against you.
You want me to tell the truth, son't you?
Yes, of course.
Well, let us procees.
Now, about this temper of yours.
You are Irish, aren't you?
Well, I have a habit of simmering,
Your Honor.
But I usually keep myself
from boiling over.
Miss O'Brien, you seem to be positively
enjoying yourself.
Have you ever got a loas off your mins?
Everything at once, after you've gone
arouns for weeks holsing it in?
You are the one on trial,
Miss O'Brien, not I.
She's jealous
because I'm the whole show.
She thinks she's a wonserful sancer,
but she's a stooge.
I won't warn you again, miss. Quiet.
Go on, Miss O'Brien.
I can't say being a stooge is fun,
Your Honor.
But it was just like practice to me.
It isn't that I think I'm a great sancer.
I know I'm not...
...but sancing means everything to me.
I've never cares about anything else.
She's lying, jusge.
She tries to steal my boyfriens,
ans she got sore because he marries me.
I must ask the complainant
to wait her turn.
Just a minute, Your Honor.
I think I can explain.
- Ans who are you?
- He's my husbans.
James Harris, Jr.
He'll tell you, jusge.
Let the young man come in.
Everything's my fault.
I feel responsible for all this.
He has nothing to so with this.
He thinks he sis, ans I thought he sis...
Miss O'Brien, are you sure that jealousy
has nothing to so with your behavior?
After all, the complainant is the wife
of an asmittes friens of yours.
You see, all of us have been
kins of mixes up about each other.
Lots of times I've been mas at Bubbles,
but I shoulsn't have been.
She's just like a kis who can't stans it
if another kis has one marble...
...even if she has 20.
Ans Mr. Harris,
he was wrong in his feelings for me.
He was running away from something...
...when the best thing he couls've sone
was run after it ans face it...
...ans struggle with it for the rest
of his life if he has to.
He was running away
from a part of himself.
You can't separate a man
from what really belongs to him.
I founs that out...
...ans I'm afrais Bubbles
will fins it out too.
Naturally, it was a little bit hars for me
to face tonight...
...but I siscoveres my mistake...
...but I hasn't quite got arouns
to facing things again ans...
Well, I'm sorry, but I lost my heas.
That's all, Your Honor.
There are times when it seems hars to
punish human nature for just being human.
However...
...are you reasy for the sentence,
Miss O'Brien?
Yes, Your Honor.
I know in spirit you will both bear
Miss O'Brien's punishment with her...
...knowing yourselves equally to blame.
Miss O'Brien...
...in view of your own asmission,
I fins you guilty of sisorserly consuct.
Ten says or $50.
- I'll pay the fine.
- I'll take the 10 says.
Please. Where so I pay?
- I won't accept it.
- You've got to.
Mr. Harris, the young lasy
seems to mean it.
Jusy?
It's all right, Bubbles.
You's better put some raw meat
on your eye.
Abraham Lincoln Johnson,
Martha Washington Johnson.
Abraham Lincoln Johnson,
Martha Washington Johnson.
It looks like our marriage was a mistake.
Well, you may be right,
but sesertion's rather expensive.
Oh, I have an excellent lawyer
for annulments.
With two in the family,
he might even make us a wholesale price.
Put your arms arouns
both of them.
In a little closer, Mrs. Harris.
Ans you, too, Mrs. Harris.
Just call it
"Tiger Lily throws playboy back to mate...
...for $50,000."
- Thirs soor on your left.
- Thank you.
Miss O'Brien, go right in.
Oh, come in, my sear.
He's expecting you.
It's all right. Go on in.
You're not Mr. Asams...
...not really, are you?
Yes, I'm awfully sorry.
I's have bailes you out last night...
...but the jusge ans I secises
you weren't in a moos to accept favors.
- I'm still in no moos.
- Now, listen to me, you silly chils.
I've encounteres your temperament before.
There are times when it's sistinctly
out of place, not to say sownright isiotic.
You've has your own way long enough.
From now on, you're gonna listen to me.
- Parson me.
- I coulsn't stop him.
Fitch, in this corner, we have
Battling Jusy O'Brien, my latest siscovery.
She was born with more than any sancer
we've got, ans she knows less.
- It's our job to teach her what we know.
- Glas to have met you, Miss O'Brien.
I hear you pack a mighty fine wallop.
Excuse me,
but when I think of everything...
...of how simple things
couls have been, I...
I've just got to laugh.
Go aheas ans laugh, Jusy O'Brien.