A SILVER WATCH
AND FIVE DOLLARS
IN COIN OF THE REALM...
FOR EVERY SOUTHERN SETTLER
WHO WILL LEAVE HERE...
FOR THE RICH AND FERTILE
PLAINS OF KANSAS.
THE SOUTH NEEDS YOUR VOTE.
WE WANT NO FIVE-DOLLAR VOTERS.
WE WANT NO SILVER-WATCH
SETTLERS.
WE WANT TO PEOPLE KANSAS
WITH GOOD, HARDWORKING,
NORTHERN FARMERS.
[ Man Screaming ]
THERE YA ARE, SIR.
AS MEAN A MOLAR
AS EVER I DID SEE.
GIVE ME TWO DOLLARS
AND WE CALL IT SQUARE.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
[ Mumbles ] ALL RIGHT.
MUST'VE HIT YOU PRETTY HARD
TO LOOSEN UP THAT TOOTH.
WHAT'S THE TROUBLE?
I SAID PRESIDENT PIERCE
WAS A POLECAT.
WHICH HE IS!
THEN HE POPPED ME.
JUST WAIT TILL I GET HIM
IN KANSAS.
DON'T BLAME YOU IN A BIT.
ARE YOU A DENTIST?
AM I A DENTIST?
MY FRIEND, YOU'RE LOOKING
DIRECTLY AT THE BEST DENTIS WEST OF THE MISSISSIPPI.
WHAT SEEMS TO BE YOUR TROUBLE?
BIG FELLA BACK THERE
BELTED ME ON THE MOUTH.
RIGHT IN THE CHAIR.
RIGHT IN THERE.
SIT DOWN THERE.
NOTHIN' ABOUT PIERCE,
I HOPE.
WHY, YEAH. WHO TOLD YOU?
[ Chattering ]
EXCUSE ME, PARTNER.
I DON'T WANT NO TROUBLE
WITH YOU, MISTER.
JUST LEAVE ME BE.
I'M MINDIN' MY OWN BUSINESS.
YOU MIND YOURS.
STRANGER, I AIN'T A-CARIN'
WHOSE WAGON YOU'RE FIXIN'.
WASN'T TALKIN' TO YOU
IN THE FIRST PLACE.
BUT IN THE SECOND PLACE,
I STILL THINK WE CAN DO
WITH A BETTER PRESIDENT.
SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO
ABOUT IT?
WELL, ALL RIGHT, MISTER.
YOU ASKED FOR IT.
[ Women Shrieking ]
RIGHT AFTER THE MEXICAN WAR,
MY WIFE SAYS TO ME, SHE SAYS,
"ANDREW, YOU KNOW WHA THIS COUNTRY NEEDS? "
I SAYS, "NO, WHAT'S IT NEED? "
SHE SAYS, "NEEDS MORE DENTISTS. "
WELL, IT DID,
SO I BECOME A DENTIST.
SAY "AH. "
AH!
THERE WE ARE.
HEY, WE AIN'T DOIN' BAD.
MADE $34 LAST THREE DAYS.
WELL, I CAN'T GO AROUND
POPPING PEOPLE ALL MY LIFE.
AND AM I ASKIN' YA TO?
WHO WERE YA WHEN I MET YA?
NOBODY.
STANDING AROUND IN TEXAS.
WANTIN' TO TRAVEL
AND SEE THE COUNTRY.
WELL, YOU'RE SEEIN' IT,
AIN'T YA?
YEAH, AND I AIN'T LIKIN' IT.
YOU TOLD ME I'D SEE MOUNTAINS
AND OCEANS.
THIS COUNTRY AIN' NO DIFFERENT THAN TEXAS.
AIN'T AS GOOD.
I KNOW, BUT TRAVEL
COSTS MONEY, SON.
YOU SAYIN'
I AIN'T EARNIN' IT?
NO, I'M NOT COMPLAININ'.
YOU KNOCK 'EM LOOSE.
I PULL 'EM OUT.
MAYBE-- I'M JUST SAYIN'
MAYBE, YOU KNOW--
IF YOU WAS MORE PROMISCUOUS
WITH YOUR PUNCHIN',
WE MIGHT MAKE
A LITTLE MORE MONEY.
WHAT YOU MEAN,
"PROMISCUOUS"?
WELL, YOU GOT STRANGE IDEAS
ABOUT JUSTICE.
DON'T WANNA HIT NOBODY
UNLESS THEY DESERVE IT.
NOW THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
BUT WE'RE IN BUSINESS.
BUSINESS IS DIFFERENT.
I DON'T KNOW, DOC.
YOU'RE GONNA LOSE YOURSELF
A PARTNER UNLESS WE GET OU OF THIS TERRITORY PRETTY QUICK.
'CAUSE I AIM TO SEE
THEM MOUNTAINS
YOU WERE TALKIN' ABOUT.
YOU GOT A MEMORY
LIKE AN ELEPHANT.
GIDDYAP.
BITE OF TATER, DOC?
CAN'T. BREAK MY PLATE.
GIDDYAP.
WHOA! WHERE DO I FIND
YOUR CAMPING GROUNDS, MISTER?
EDGE OF TOWN,
JUST PAST THE SCHOOLHOUSE.
MUCH OBLIGED.
HYAH!
?? LAND WHERE
MY FATHERS DIED? ?
?? LAND OF THE? ?
?? PILGRIMS' PRIDE? ?
DOC?
YEAH.
?? FROM EVERY MOUNTAINSIDE? ?
HEAR THAT?
SURE, PRETTY.
GIVES ME THE GOOSE PIMPLES.
SICK?
NO, JUST PROUD.
HELLO.
WOULD YOU MIND MOVING?
I'D LIKE TO GET THROUGH.
I SAID, WOULD YOU MIND MOVING?
I'D LIKE TO GET THROUGH.
OH, EXCUSE ME, MA'AM,
BUT I AIN'T HAD A CHANCE
TO HEAR SUCH PRETTY SINGIN'...
IN A LONG TIME.
YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT,
BUT MUSIC DOES SOMETHING TO ME.
THAT KIND OF MUSIC.
WHY, I CAN REMEMBER--
THAT'S ALL VERY INTERESTING,
BUT ARE YOU GOING TO MOVE
THIS WAGON, OR SHALL I HAVE I MOVED FOR YOU?
YOU KNOW, DOC, ALL THEM STORIES
WE'VE BEEN HEARING
ABOUT KANSAS MUST BE TRUE.
EVEN THE WOMENFOLK THINK
NOTHING OF THREATENING
STRANGERS IN THE OPEN.
- GOOD MORNING, MISS McCLOUD.
- GOOD MORNING, MR. CANTRELL.
WOULD YOU BE GOOD ENOUGH TO
ASKHIMTO GET OUT OF THE WAY?
HE'S SO ENCHANTED
WITH YOUR MUSIC CLASS,
HE REFUSES TO MOVE.
YOUR INTEREST IS
VERY GRATIFYING, SIR.
FIRST TIME OUR SINGING LESSONS
HAVE EVER HELD UP TRAFFIC.
IF YOU'D CARE TO,
WE'D BE DELIGHTED
TO HAVE YOU JOIN US.
THANK YOU, MISTER.
IN THAT CASE, I RECKON
WE'LL MOVE ON.
GIDDY OUT OF THERE.
BEAUTIFULLY DONE,
MR. CANTRELL.
YOU CERTAINLY KNOW
HOW TO SAY THE RIGHT THING
AT THE RIGHT TIME.
EXCEPT WHERE YOU'RE CONCERNED.
OH, WELL,
YOU'VE HELD ME SPEECHLESS
WITH YOUR ELOQUENCE.
THAT'S JUST WHA I'M COMPLAINING OF.
I WANT TO LEAVE YOU
WITH JUST ENOUGH SPEECH
TO SAY ONE WORD,
BUT YOU NEVER DO.
MAYBE I SHOULD CHANGE
MY TACTICS.
YOU THINK I'D SAY YES
AT THE POINT OF A GUN?
IF I THOUGHT YOU WOULD,
I'D BE ARMED TO THE TEETH.
OH, THEN YOU'D SCARE ME
TO DEATH.
I'M GOIN' INTO TOWN
TO RENT AN OFFICE.
TAKE ABOUT A MONTH,
THE WAY I FIGURE, TO FIX
ALL THE TEETH IN THIS TOWN.
OF COURSE, THAT'S NOT COUNTIN'
THE ONES YOU'LL SEND IN.
THEN WE'RE HEADIN' WEST--
CALIFORNIA AND MOUNTAINS.
NO HURRY, DOC.
TAKE YOUR TIME.
I WANNA LOOK THIS COUNTRY
OVER GOOD.
WELL, IF YOU AIN' THE CONTRARIEST CRITTER
I'VE EVER SEEN.
WILL YOU PUT THAT GUN AWAY?
NO, SIR, I WILL NOT.
I WON'T WARN YOU AGAIN.
NOW PUT THAT GUN AWAY.
GIVE ME THAT GUN, I SAY.
NO, SIR, I'M OVER 21--
BOYS, BOYS, PLEASE.
DON'T YOU RAISE YOUR VOICE
TO ME, YOUNG SCALLAWAG, HAVE YOU
NO RESPECT FOR YOUR FATHER?
NOW GIVE ME THAT GUN.
WELL, I'M GETTIN' TIRED
OF BEING TREATED LIKE A KID.
MARY!
ELLIE! ELLIE!
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH
THAT COST?
ELLIE, TAKE UP THE CARPETS
AND LET'S HAVE PLENTY OF SAWDUS ON THE FLOOR.
AND ALSO SEVERAL CUSPIDORS.
NOW LET ME SEE.
OH, YES, WE CAN PU THE BEER BARRELS OVER THERE
AND A BAR WHERE THE PIANO IS.
OH, AND THERE I WAN A LARGE PICTURE
OF DANCING NYMPHS.
BUT BE SURE AND KEEP
THIS SPACE CLEAR
FOR BRAWLING PURPOSES.
WHAT ARE YOU RAVING ABOUT?
BOTH YOU AND FLETCH AC LIKE YOU'RE IN A SALOON,
SO I JUST THOUGHT I'D MAKE YOU
FEEL AT HOME, DAD.
I'M SORRY, DEAR.
WELL, GO ON, APOLOGIZE
TO YOUR SISTER FOR MAKING
A DEPLORABLE SCENE.
I'M SORRY, SIS.
ALL RIGHT, ELLIE,
YOU MAY GO.
BUT DON'T FORGET THE SAWDUST,
JUST IN CASE.
NOW WHAT'S ALL THIS YELLING
ABOUT A GUN, ANYWAY?
THE HOT-TEMPERED YOUNG FOOL
MUST CARRY A GUN BECAUSE
THE PLACE SWARMS WITH YANKEES,
AND HE WANTS TO GE INTO TROUBLE.
LISTEN, SIS. I'M OLD ENOUGH--
[ Shouting ] STOP YELLING
AT ME! A SOUTHERNER NEVER
RAISES HIS VOICE!
[ Clears Throat ]
[ Quietly ]
NEVER.
THAT'S RIGHT, DEAR.
FOLLOW YOUR FATHER'S EXAMPLE.
HE NEVER FORGETS HIMSELF.
WELL, I'M GONNA TOTE A GUN,
AND NO ONE'S GONNA TAKE I AND OFFEN ME.
FLETCH McCLOUD,
WHERE IN THE WORLD DID YOU
PICK UP SUCH LANGUAGE?
"TOTE, " "OFFEN. "
GIVE ME THAT GUN.
A COWBOY CAME
THROUGH TOWN ONE DAY,
AND HE GOT BIG IDEAS.
HE'S BEEN WANTING TO TOTE--
CARRYA GUN EVER SINCE.
FLETCH, I JUST SAW
A RUFFIAN WITH A GUN.
HE WAS NO MATCH
FOR WILL CANTRELL,
WHO MERELY USED HIS BRAIN.
YES, BUT--
OH, HUSH. NOW,
NOT ANOTHER WORD OUT OF YOU.
GO ALONG.
STOP AGGRAVATING YOUR FATHER.
OH, DAD, I WONDER
IF YOU'D LET ME--
NO!
YOU TWO-- SHAME ON YOU.
IF I WEREN'T AROUND, YOU'D BE
AT EACH OTHER'S THROATS ALL DAY.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO
WHEN I GET MARRIED?
DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT US.
DID CANTRELL ASK YOU
TO MARRY HIM?
UH-HUH.
GOOD, SPLENDID.
I DIDN'T SAY I'D ACCEPTED HIM,
NOW, DID I?
OH, HE'S A SMART MAN, MARY.
AMBITIOUS, HARD WORKER.
BE A BIG MAN SOMEDAY.
I LIKE A LITTLE ONE
I CAN BOSS AROUND.
OH, NO, NO, NO.
I'M SERIOUS. HE'D MAKE
A GOOD HUSBAND FOR YOU,
THAT LAD.
HIS GRANDFATHER WAS SCOTCH.
I WOULDN'T THINK OF GETTING
MARRIED UNTIL YOU AND FLETCH
ARE OLD ENOUGH TO STOP FIGHTING.
THE CARRIAGE IS READY, SIR.
THANK YOU, TOM.
I'M GONNA BE IN DODGE CITY
FOR ABOUT A WEEK.
IF I COULD KNOW YOU'LL TAKE
CANTRELL, I COULD BUY YOU
A HANDSOME WEDDING PRESENT.
WHAT ARE YOU,
A BANKER OR A MATCHMAKER?
THERE YOU ARE, SIR.
HA! SMOOTH
AS A BABY'S... LEG.
YOUR HONOR, THEM'S
THE KINDEST WORDS I'VE HEARD
FROM A JUDGE IN YEARS.
MOSTLY THEY SAY,
"THIRTY DAYS. "
MY FRIEND, YOU MAY PAIN A SHAVING MUG WITH THE NAME
"JUDGE BUCKNER"...
AND COUNT UPON ME
AS A STEADY PATRON
NOW THAT YOU'RE ESTABLISHED.
TWO BITS.
OH, TUT, TUT, TUT.
I SHALL SETTLE WITH YOU WEEKLY.
OR, PERHAPS, MONTHLY.
YOU'LL SUM UP MY ACCOUNT--
I BEG YOUR PARDON, MADAM.
HE'S AN EXCELLENT SHAVE, MADAM.
OH, I'M SORRY, MADAM.
GOOD MORNING, MA'AM.
I WISH TO HAVE
A TOOTH PULLED.
YES, MA'AM.
WILL YOU BE SEATED, PLEASE?
THERE YA ARE.
WHAT'S THIS?
IMBIBE, MADAM, OR SUFFER.
I DO NOT IMBIBE.
VERY WELL, MA'AM.
NOW, IF YOU'LL KINDLY PLACE YOUR
RIGHT KNEE AGAINST MY CHEST.
WHY, I'VE NEVER HEARD
OF SUCH A THING IN MY LIFE.
I'LL TELL MY HUSBAND.
JUST FOR LEVERAGE, MA'AM.
JUST FOR LEVERAGE.
[ Screams ]
SAY "AH. "
THERE WE ARE.
AH!
I TAKE A SHORT TRIP
OUT OF TOWN,
AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENS.
FOUR KILLINGS IN A WEEK.
IT'S GOT TO STOP.
FOUR?
DID YOU SAY FOUR?
THAT'S RIGHT, FOUR!
WELL, WE'RE GETTING TO BE
QUITE A TOWN, AREN'T WE?
I DOUBT IF THEY HAVE
THAT MANY IN DODGE CITY.
NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
WE AIM TO COMPETE
WITH ANY CITY IN SIZE,
BUT NOT IN LAWLESSNESS.
CERTAINLY, OF COURSE,
FOUR KILLINGS IS OUTRAGEOUS.
THE JUDGE WAS SAYING,
MR. McCLOUD, BEFORE YOU CAME,
THAT THE APPOINTMEN OF A MARSHAL IS OBVIOUSLY
IN ORDER.
IF I CAN FIND THE RIGHT MAN.
I HAVE A NEPHEW. HE'S A FINE,
UPSTANDING YOUNG MAN WHO--
WHO YOU'D LIKE TO SEE
ON THE CITY PAYROLL.
WELL, THE MAN WE NEED
MUST BE HONEST,
MUST HAVE COURAGE,
KNOW HOW TO HANDLE MEN.
HAVE YOU ANY SUGGESTIONS?
WAIT NOW,
THERE'S MY NEPHEW.
HE'S OUT!
WE REALLY FELT, MR. McCLOUD,
THAT YOU'D PROBABLY MAKE
A NOMINATION.
GENTLEMEN, I THINK I KNOW
THE VERY MAN.
LOOK OUT FOR THE RUTS, WILL.
"LOOK OUT FOR THE RUTS. "
THERE YOU HAVE
THE STORY OF MY LIFE.
ONLY I NEVER DID LOOK OUT.
ALWAYS BEEN IN ONE.
LOOK AT ME NOW--
A SCHOOLTEACHER.
WHERE'S THAT GOING
TO GET ME?
WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO?
I THINK I COULD GO
CLEAR TO THE TOP IF I THOUGH YOU'D BE THERE WAITING.
WHY NOT GO TO THE TOP
ANYWAY, JUST FOR THE CLIMB
AND THE VIEW?
- [ Chattering ]
- ALL RIGHT.
I'M FROM TENNESSEE.
WHAT OF IT?
WE AIN'T WANTIN' PEOPLE
AROUND HERE
WHO SELL THEIR VOTES.
I DON'T HAVE TO SELL MINE.
I GOT A BUSINESS OF MY OWN.
SMART ALECK, HUH?
WHAT DO YOU SAY, BOYS,
WE GIVE HIM A LIFT OUT OF TOWN?
TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF OF HIM.
WHO MIGHT YOU BE?
NOTHIN' TO YOU. I JUST SAID,
KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF.
YOU TALK MIGHTY BIG FOR ONE MAN.
WHAT RIGHT DO YOU GO TO BUTT INTO THIS?
I'LL TELL YA,
YA PACK OF COYOTES.
A MAN BORN IN THIS COUNTRY
IS AN AMERICAN.
DON'T FORGET THAT.
IT'S HIS RIGHT TO...
GO WHERE HE PLEASES,
AND IT'S MY BUSINESS TO--
COME ON, MARY.
HIT HIM IN THE TEETH, BOB,
IN THE TEETH.
LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND, MISTER.
THANKS. WHERE'D YOU
COME FROM?
- BEEN FOLLOWIN' YOU
AROUND ALL MORNIN'.
- WHAT FOR?
YOU'RE A COWBOY,
AIN'T YA?
YEP. FROM TEXAS. WHY?
AH!
SURE, THAT'S THE WAY IT IS.
THEM DOGGIES ARE THE BOLDES I EVER RODE HERD ON.
IT'S LIKE SOMETIMES
OUT ON THE RANGE AFTER YOU GO THE HERD BEDDED DOWN--
[ Man Groaning ]
THAT'S MY TONGUE.
MY MISTAKE.
EVER HAD
YOUR TOOTH PULLED?
NO, ALL GOOD.
YOU'RE LUCKY.
SAY, YOU REALLY BUSTED
THAT KNUCKLE, DIDN'T YA?
OH, IT AIN'T NOTHIN'.
NO, I'VE HAD LOTS OF 'EM.
HERE'S WHAT I ALWAYS USE.
THANKS,
BUT YOU AIN'T TOLD ME
IF I'D GO OUT ON THE RANGE,
WHAT'S THE FIRST THING
THEY'RE GONNA ASK ME?
FOR CHEWIN' TOBACCO,
MOST LIKELY.
THERE'S SOMETHING
I WANTED TO ASK YOU.
ME?
YEAH. YOU KNOW THAT GIRL
I WAS STARING A WHEN ALL THE RUCKUS STARTED--
YEAH.
WELL, WHO IS SHE?
WELL, HER NAME IS
MARY McCLOUD. WHY?
WELL, I'LL TELL YA.
I THINK MAYBE I'LL MARRY HER.
WHAT?
OF COURSE, IF SHE'LL HAVE ME.
I MEAN,
A FELLA WOULDN'T WANT TO MARRY
ANYONE THAT DIDN'T WANT HIM,
NATURALLY.
OH, NATURALLY.
YOU KNOW HER WELL?
NO, JUST SEEN HER
ONCE OR TWICE.
ONCE SHE WAS ON A HORSE.
THE NEXT TIME
SHE WAS WITH A JACKASS.
HE IS, HUH?
MAKES IT EASIER, DON'T IT?
PRACTICALLY A CINCH.
YOU DO THINGS KINDA
SUDDEN, DON'T YA?
NO, NOT EXACTLY.
BUT, YOU SEE, I GOT HER
FIGURED OUT THIS WAY.
IF YOU LIKE SOMEONE
AND YOU DON'T TELL 'EM
RIGHT OFF,
WHY, MAYBE ALL THAT TIME
YOU WASTED, SHE LIKED YOU, TOO,
SO, WELL, ALL THA TIME'S WASTED, AIN'T IT?
IT IS, THE WAY YOU PUT IT.
HOW DO YOU EXPEC TO GO ABOUT THIS?
OH, YES.
GLAD YOU MENTIONED THAT.
UH, I FIGURED THA IF YOU WAS TO TAKE ME
OVER TO HER...
AND GIVE ME AN INTRODUCE, THEN
I COULD TELL HER WHO I WAS AND
THAT I NEVER MURDERED NOBODY,
AND YOU COULD GO SOMEWHERE
AND SIT ON A FENCE
TILL I WAS THROUGH.
I'M SURE YOU WON'T BE LONG.
WELL, COME ON, I THINK
SHE'S OVER AT THE BANK.
I FORGOT TO ASK YOU
YOUR NAME.
FLETCH.
MINE'S SETON. BOB SETON.
YOU GOT A FIRST NAME?
YEAH. CUPID.
HE'S A REAL COWBOY.
FROM TEXAS.
THIS IS HER FATHER'S BANK.
OWNS A BANK, HUH?
WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
HE DON'T LIKE COWBOYS EITHER.
I CAN TELL YOU THAT.
YEAH, I KNOW THE BREED--
STRING-HOLLERED AND SPAVINED.
SQUEEZE THE BLOOD
OUT OF A TURNIP.
KEEP YOUR CHIN
TO YOURSELF.
HUH?
I MEAN, YOU WAIT HERE,
AND I'LL GO BRING HER.
FAIR ENOUGH.
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS
MY APPRECIATION, MR. McCLOUD.
I SUPPOSE IT WILL BE LEF TO A VOTE, HUH?
NATURALLY. THERE WILL BE
OTHER CANDIDATES THROWING
THEIR HATS IN THE RING,
BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HAVE
ANY TROUBLE WINNIN'.
I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT.
FLETCH,
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
WHERE ARE YOU DRAGGING ME?
FRIEND OF MINE HERE
WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.
[ Squeals ]
YOU, UH, WANTED
TO TALK TO ME?
UH, YES,
THAT'S SORT OF THE IDEA.
WELL--
UH--
DID THE SQUIRT TELL YOU
WHO I WAS?
WHO?
THE KID, CUPID.
AIN'T THAT A NAME FOR YOU?
[ Chuckles ]
YOU KNOW, HIM THAT WENT IN
AND ASKED FOR YOU.
MY BROTHER, YOU MEAN.
YEAH. HE AND I--
YOUR WHAT?
MY BROTHER. WHO DID YOU
THINK HE WAS?
WELL--
YOUR BROTHER.
YES.
YOU SEE THE FIGHT?
NO.
WE LOST... ALMOST.
WAS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED
TO TALK TO ME ABOUT?
WELL, NOT EXACTLY.
THAT IS-- NO.
THEN WHAT WAS IT?
WELL, UH, DID HE
SAY ANYTHING TO YOU...
ABOUT ANYTHING
I'D SAID TO HIM?
MY BROTHER, YOU MEAN?
YES.
NO.
HE DIDN'T?
NO.
WELL--
BACK THERE IN THE OFFICE,
I HAD THIS ALL FIGURED OUT.
OUT THERE ON THE PRAIRIE,
IT SEEMED EASY.
YOU GOT BLUE EYES.
I BEG YOUR PARDON.
YES, SIR, BLUE EYES.
OH, LET'S SEE NOW.
WHERE WAS I?
BOB SETON,
FROM TEXAS.
MA DIED WHEN I WAS
NINE YEARS OLD,
AND ABOUT EIGHT MONTHS AGO--
I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU SAY,
MR. McCLOUD.
AND, ONCE AGAIN,
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
GOOD LUCK TO YA.
WHERE'S MARY?
SHE WENT ACROSS THE STREE TO BUY A SPOOL OF THREAD.
OH, WELL, I'LL GO--
I WOULDN'T DO THAT,
IF I WAS YOU, MR. CANTRELL.
SHE ALWAYS GETS A LITTLE FIDGETY
WHEN SHE'S BUYING
A SPOOL OF THREAD OR SOMETHING.
DAD, YOU TELL HIM ABOUT ME
GOIN' TO BE A COWBOY.
GO AHEAD AND TELL HIM.
THAT'S THE ONLY TIME
I WAS EVER IN JAIL, AND IT WAS
THE OTHER FELLA'S FAULT.
I WAS DRUNK.
DRINKING, OF COURSE,
CONSTITUTING NO CRIME.
MA'AM?
I SAID, DRINKING, OF COURSE,
CONSTITUTING NO CRIME.
I'M GONNA LEARN BIG WORDS
MYSELF SOMEDAY.
NOW LOOK, I'VE LISTENED TO YOU
VERY PATIENTLY. I'VE HEARD
YOU WHOLE LIFE'S HISTORY.
I KNOW WHAT TO DO FOR CATTLE
WHO'VE EATEN TOO MANY
LOCO WEEDS,
WHY SULPHUR IN MOLASSES
ISN'T AS GOOD AS PEOPLE
THINK IT IS...
AND A THOUSAND OTHER THINGS
THAT I'VE FORGOTTEN ALREADY.
NOW WILL YOU PLEASE GE TO THE POINT AND TELL ME
WHAT YOU WANT?
I WANT TO MARRY YOU.
YOU WHAT?
WELL, I AIN'T GOT NO JOB
RIGHT NOW, BUT I FIGURE
TO GET ONE.
OUTSIDE OF A SNORT OF HOOCH
NOW AND THEN,
I GOT NO BAD HABITS.
I'D SAY ASKING PERFECT STRANGERS
TO MARRY YOU IS-IS
A VERY BAD HABIT!
YOU LOOKIN' FOR SOMEONE, MA'AM?
YES! SURELY THEY DON' LET YOU OUT ALONE, DO THEY?
WE GOT A SAYIN' DOWN IN TEXAS
THAT A FELLA DOESN'T GE ANYPLACE UNLESS HE TRIES.
WELL, YOU MIGHT AS WELL
GIVE UP TRYING, BECAUSE
IT'S NOT GONNA HELP YOU.
WE GOT ANOTHER SAYING IN TEXAS--
YES, YES, I'M SURE YOU HAVE.
GOOD-BYE.
THAT'LL BE FOUR AND A HALF.
TWO FOR THE TOOTH,
TWO AND A HALF FOR THE WHISKEY.
YOU GOT ANOTHER SWIG COMIN'.
I AIN'T GOT CASH. MAYBE
YOU COULD TAKE IT IN TRADE.
OH, I WAS AFRAID OF THAT.
I PULLED TEETH IN BOSTON ONCE
FOR A YEAR.
PRACTICALLY LIVED ON BEANS.
GOT SOME STUFF OUTSIDE
THAT BEATS MONEY IN THE BANK
IN THIS TERRITORY.
WAGONLOAD OF GUNS.
AND THEY'D HAVE BEEN
TOOKEN AWAY FROM ME,
IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR THA YOUNG FRIEND OF YOURS.
AIN'T LEGAL TO RUN GUNS.
YOU KNOW THAT.
WHAT'S LEGAL AND WHAT AIN'T?
WHY, THESE TOWNS AIN'T GO
NO MARSHALS.
YOU NEEDIN' A PARTNER,
MISTER?
MM, MAYBE.
NO, YOU DON'T.
OH, NO, YOU DON'T.
HE GOT HIT IN THAT FIGHT.
HE DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S SAYIN'.
LISTEN, SON--
HOW ABOUT IT?
YOU CAN'T, BOB.
I'M SICK OF THIS HERE
CITY LIFE.
FELLA CAN'T GO AROUND
DOIN' NOTHIN' ALL THE TIME.
YEAH, I COULD MAKE
A GOOD GUNRUNNER OUTTA YOU.
OVER MY DEAD BODY.
DOC'S RIGHT, SON.
GUNRUNNING'S NO FOR YOUR KIND.
YOU AIN'T A WRECKER, BOY.
YOU'RE A BUILDER.
DOC'S RIGHT AGAIN.
YOU'RE THE KIND
THIS COUNTRY NEEDS.
[ Chuckles ]
SUPPOSE IT SOUNDS FUNNY,
FOR AN OLD LAW-BREAKING COO LIKE ME TO TALK PATRIOTISM.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN THA WHISKEY, STARS AND STRIPES?
I'LL GIVE YOU COUPLE GUNS.
SHUCKS, YOU DON'T OWE ME
NOTHIN'. GIVE YOUR TOOTH BACK
FOR A SOUVENIR, IF YOU LIKE.
NO, GIVE IT TO THE KID.
SOMEDAY WHEN HE SEES ME
STRUNG UP AT THE END OF A ROPE,
HE'LL REMEMBER I GAVE HIM
SOME GOOD ADVICE.
GOOD-BYE, GENTLEMEN.
GOOD-BYE.
WHAT IS IT, BOB?
COME ON, SON, WHAT'S WRONG?
STILL YEARNIN'
FOR THEM MOUNTAINS, DOC.
OH-OH. WHAT'S HER NAME?
MARY MC--
SAY, THERE'S NO GIRL
MIXED UP IN THIS.
SAME ONE WE ME COMING INTO TOWN?
HER? SHE MAKES ME SICK.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHY, DOWN IN TEXAS,
THEY'D LAUGH HER
OUT OF TOWN.
SHE DON'T KNOW
HER OWN MIND,
THAT FEMALE.
FELLA CAN'T EXPEC TO WIN A WOMAN UNLESS HE DOES
SOMETHING WORTHWHILE.
BET HER OLD MAN CHEATS
EVERYBODY IN TOWN.
SEE THAT POSTER?
YEAH.
WHAT DOES IT SAY?
SAYS THEY'RE LOOKING
FOR A NEW MARSHAL.
IT DOES, HUH?
YOU KNOW, BOB, YOU COULD
MAKE SOMETHING OUT OF YOURSELF
IF YOU TRIED.
YEAH?
YEAH.
YOU COULD RUN FOR MARSHAL.
ME BE MARSHAL?
ARE YOU LOCO?
WELL, YOU COULD TRY.
BETTER FOR A YOUNG FELLA
LIKE YOU TO BE WORKIN'WITH
UNCLE SAM THAN AGIN' HIM.
I CAN'T READ OR WRITE.
YOU KNOW THAT.
LISTEN, YOU DON' READ AND WRITE A MAN
INTO JAIL.
MARSHAL'S GOTTA KNOW SOMETHING.
HE'S GOTTA HAVE PAPERS
ON HIS DESK AND THINGS.
SON, THERE'S A SCHOOL
DOWN THE OTHER STREE WHERE THEY CAN LEARN...
ANYBODY TO READ AND WRITE.
THEY GOT LITTLE KIDS THERE
AIN'T THAT HIGH...
READIN' AND WRITIN'
JUST AS PRETTY AS ANYTHING
YOU EVER SEEN.
NOW, IF I WAS YOU--
YOU'RE YOUNG, MR. SETON.
NEVER TOO LATE TO LEARN.
LOOK KINDA FUNNY, WON'T IT?
ME SITTIN' THERE
AMONG ALL THEM KIDS?
YEAH, WELL,
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.
YOU AND I WILL DO OUR STUDYING
IN THE EVENINGS. NOBODY'LL
KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
[ Woman ]
WILL! OH, WILL!
YOU'RE A PRETTY
REGULAR FELLA.
THANKS.
UH-- TELL ME--
YOU SAY YOU CAN'T WRITE?
MAKE BRANDS ON COWS
IS ABOUT ALL.
TRIED TO WRITE WITH INK ONCE.
LOOKED LIKE AN EASTER EGG
FOR A WEEK.
OH, WILL, YOUR SUP--
YOUR SUPPER'S READY,
MR. CANTRELL.
THIS IS MY HOUSEKEEPER,
MRS. ADAMS.
ELIZABETH,
THIS IS MR. SETON.
PLEASED TO MEET YOU, MA'AM.
OH, I'M KEEPIN' YOU
FROM YOUR SUPPER.
THERE'S NO GREAT HURRY.
YOU WERE SAYING THAT--
OH, YES.
SAME WAY ABOUT SPELLING.
WHEN I TRY, PEOPLE LAUGH.
CALL ME "SHORTCUT" DOWN HOME.
WHAT?
YOU SEE, I SPELL 'EM
LIKE THEY SOUND.
YOU KNOW,
BACON-- B-A-K--
SCRUB-- S-K-R--
WELL, GO ON AND LAUGH.
NO OFFENSE,
I ASSURE YOU.
TELL ME,
WHY THIS SUDDEN AMBITION?
IS IT BECAUSE YOU WANNA LEARN?
DON'T MIND IF I DO.
FACT IS, I'M GONNA BE
MARSHAL OF THIS TOWN.
OH, INDEED.
WELL, YOU DON'T SEEM
VERY HAPPY ABOUT IT.
WELL, SHOULD I BE? I'M RUNNING
FOR THE OFFICE MYSELF.
OH, AIN'T THAT ONE FOR YA?
HERE I JUST GE TO LIKIN' YA,
AND NOW I GOTTA BEAT YA
OUT OF THAT JOB.
DIDN'T KNOW
YOU HAD COMPANY, WILL.
OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, MA.
PAY NO MIND
TO HIS BRAGGIN', WILL.
HE AIN'T HAD NO
MORE LEARNIN' THAN I HAVE.
YOU'LL BE ELECTED.
IT'S NOT HIM
I'M WORRYING ABOUT, MA.
IT'S YOU.
I'M SICK OF THIS PRETENSE--
MRS. ADAMS, MY HOUSEKEEPER.
EVERY TIME I SAY IT,
THE LIE STICKS IN MY THROAT.
I'M NOT ASHAMED OF YOU.
I KNOW YOU AIN'T. THERE'S
PLENTY OF FOLKS IN LAWRENCE
THAT MAKE YOU ASHAMED OR TRY TO.
AND I DON'T AIM TO LET 'EM.
LEAVE THINGS BE, WILL.
I AIN'T COMPLAININ'.
YOU WOULDN'T COMPLAIN
IF THEY BOILED YOU IN OIL,
AS LONG AS YOU THOUGH IT WOULD HELP ME.
IT'S NO USE, MA.
IT WON'T WORK. I'M GOING
TO SEND YOU BACK TO OHIO.
I WON'T GO, WILL.
WE COME OUT HERE TOGETHER,
AND I'M STAYIN'.
ALL RIGHT. LET'S SEE
HOW THINGS ARE AFTER
THE BALLOTS ARE COUNTED.
BUT IF I'M BEATEN
BY THAT COWHAND, I'M THROUGH
WITH BOOKS AND TEACHING.
I'M GONNA BURN EVERY BOOK
IN THIS HOUSE.
I'M GOING TO THE TOP
IF I HAVE TO GO OVER
THE BODIES OF--
WILL!
QUIT THAT WILD TALK.
THAT'S HOW YOUR PA SPOKE
BEFORE HE--
DON'T FORGET.
I'VE GOT SOME OF HIS BLOOD
IN MY VEINS TOO.
[ Crowd Cheering ]
THANK YOU, MY FRIENDS.
I HAVE TALKED A LO ABOUT MYSELF,
AND YOU HAVE BEEN
MOST INDULGENT.
NOW, THEN, I WANT TO SAY
SOMETHING ABOUT MR. SETON,
MY OPPONENT.
YOU WILL OBSERVE
THAT I SAY "ABOUT"
AND NOT "AGAINST, "
BECAUSE I KNOW NOTHING
AGAINST MR. SETON,
NEITHER AS MY OPPONEN NOR AS MY PUPIL.
[ Crowd Laughing ]
MY MOST PROMISING PUPIL.
WITHIN THE HOUR,
YOU WILL GO TO THE POLLS,
AND YOU WILL ELEC EITHER MR. SETON OR MYSELF.
IF YOU ELECT HIM,
YOU WILL GET A MAN
WHO IS HONEST.
AND, MY FRIENDS,
MR. SETON IS
A MAN OF COURAGE.
PLENTY OF COURAGE.
BUT HONESTY AND COURAGE
ARE NOT ENOUGH.
TODAY, MORE THAN EVER BEFORE,
A PUBLIC OFFICE CALLS
FOR KNOWLEDGE.
YOU MUST KNOW LAW
AND HOW TO APPLY IT.
AND THAT, MY FRIENDS,
CALLS FOR INTENSIVE STUDY,
TO WHICH, AS YOU ALL KNOW,
I HAVE DEVOTED MANY YEARS.
OUR TOWN HAS GROWN TO A SIZE
WHERE WE NEED A MARSHAL.
BE SURE YOU ELECT A MAN
WHO CAN GROW WITH THE TOWN.
THANK YOU.
[ Cheering ]
AND NOW, FRIENDS, I PRESEN MR. CANTRELL'S OPPONENT.
HE CALLS HIMSELF BOB SETON
AND SAYS HE COMES FROM TEXAS.
I KNOW NOTHING MORE ABOUT HIM.
IN FACT, I HAD A TOUGH TIME
FINDING OUT THAT MUCH.
[ Laughing ]
COME ON NOW!
I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE.
I'M SICK.
BOB, LISTEN TO ME.
COME ON, DOC, YOUR JOB
IS PULLING TEETH OUT OF MOUTHS,
NOT PUTTING WORDS IN 'EM.
- LET HIM SPEAK FOR HIMSELF.
- [ Crowd Laughing ]
COME ON, LET HIM TALK
FOR HIMSELF.
[ Cheering ]
THE JUDGE HERE IS RIGH ABOUT THAT SPEECH.
DOC WROTE ONE OUT FOR ME,
ALL RIGHT, BUT HE FORGO I COULDN'T READ.
FOLKS, IT'S TRUE.
I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT THE LAW.
AIN'T HAD MUCH BOOK-LEARNIN'.
BUT THE GOOD LORD GAVE ME
A NOSE FOR SMELLIN'
A HORSE THIEF A MILE OFF.
AND WHAT YOU NEED IN THESE PARTS
IS A MARSHAL THAT'S BETTER
AT SMELLIN' THAN SPELLIN'.
MR. CANTRELL HERE SAYS
THAT I'M HONEST,
THAT I AIN'T AFRAID
OF NOTHIN'.
HE DIDN'T SAY
I WAS TOO DUMB FOR THIS JOB,
BUT THAT'S WHAT HE MEANT.
HE'S RIGHT. IAMDUMB.
I'M DUMB ENOUGH TO THINK THA SMART MARSHALS DO THEIR SHOOTIN'
FIRST, THEIR TALKIN' AFTERWARD.
FOLKS, THIS COUNTRY HAS
MORE LAWS THAN THERE ARE WAYS
TO SKIN A SKUNK.
THOUSANDS OF 'EM.
WHY, BACK EAST, THEY TELL ME
THERE'S A LAW AGAINST SPITTIN'.
[ Crowd Laughing ]
BUT REMEMBER THIS.
BEFORE YOU CAN TRY 'EM
FOR ANYTHING,
YOU GOTTA CATCH 'EM.
I CAN CATCH 'EM.
[ Cheering ]
WHAT'S SO FUNNY,
MR. McCLOUD?
LOTS, MISS McCLOUD.
DON'T YOU LIKE THE WAY
I'M ARRANGING THE TABLE?
I WAS JUST THINKING,
WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF CANTRELL
DIDN'T GET ELECTED.
THAT'S STUPID.
HOW COULD HE LOSE?
DID YOU EVER HEAR
THE STORY OF THE TORTOISE
AND THE HARE?
I'M NOT AT ALL INTERESTED
IN A TORTOISE.
MAYBE NOT, BUT YOU AIN' BEEN THE SAME SINCE.
"AIN'T. "
SINCE WHAT?
SINCE HE PROPOSED TO YOU.
OH, BAH!
BAH, YOURSELF.
YOU CAN'T TELL ME
YOU WAS SO MAD.
NO, I'LL ADMIT I WASN'T.
IT WAS THE OTHER FELLA'S FAULT.
I WAS DRUNK.
HE'S EITHER THE MOST STUPID MAN
IN THE WORLD OR TOO NAIVE
TO BE WITHOUT A KEEPER.
[ Crowd Cheering ]
THE VOTING'S OVER!
THEY'RE CHEERING FOR WILL!
HOW MUCH DID HE
WIN BY, DAD?
CANTRELL DIDN'T WIN.
THAT HIGH-HEELED COWBOY
IS THE NEW MARSHAL.
[ Laughing ]
THAT'LL BE ENOUGH
OUT OF YOU!
YES, SIR.
I BETTER START LEARNING
TO TOTE A GUN. IT'S GONNA
BE THE FASHION FROM NOW ON.
FATHER?
AND NOBODY'S GONNA
TAKE IT OFFEN ME.
[ High-Pitched Laugh ]
ELLIE!
ELLIE, YOU CAN CLEAR
ALL THIS AWAY NOW!
I'M GONNA
GET MINE QUICK.
[ Clears Throat ]
WELL, HOWDY, MARSHAL.
HIYA, FLETCH.
BOY, AM I GLAD.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT?
NOTHIN', MA'AM.
YOU ONCE TOLD ME
THAT I WOULDN'T MEAN ANYTHING
EVEN IF I TRIED.
WELL, I TRIED.
ARE YOU HERE ON OFFICIAL
BUSINESS, MR. MARSHAL?
NO, MA'AM, PERSONAL.
WHAT DOES THAT SAY, FLETCH?
"GOOD LUCK
TO OUR NEW MARSHAL. "
THAT'S RIGHT KIND OF YOU
TO GO TO ALL THIS BOTHER
FOR ME.
OH, IT ISN'T ANY BOTHER AT ALL.
ONLY, IT ISN'T FOR YOU.
IT'S FOR MR. CANTRELL.
OH.
WE GOT A SAYIN'
DOWN IN TEXAS, MA'AM,
ABOUT COUNTIN' YOUR CHICKENS
BEFORE THEY'RE HATCHED.
MM-HMM. HAVE YOU ALSO GO A SAYING DOWN IN TEXAS...
ABOUT PEOPLE KNOWING
WHETHER THEY'RE WANTED
OR NOT?
FLETCH, YOU HEAR THAT?
I SURE DID, MARSHAL.
WE ALSO GOT A SAYIN', MA'AM,
THAT WOMEN DON'T ALWAYS SAY
WHAT THEY MEAN.
[ Clears Throat ]
DO YOU MIND TELLING ME
BRIEFLY WHY YOU'RE HERE?
YES, MA'AM.
I WAS A LITTLE HASTY
A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO...
ASKIN' YOU TO MARRY ME.
THERE WAS SOMETHING
I SHOULD'VE TOLD YOU FIRST.
OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
YOU TOLD ME.
YOU WERE IN JAIL ONCE,
BUT IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT.
UH-UH.
I SHOULD'VE TOLD YOU FIRS THAT I LOVE YA.
THAT'S WHAT I REALLY CAME
OVER FOR TONIGHT.
OH, THERE I GO AGAIN.
THERE'S SOMETHING I SHOULD'VE
DONE BEFORE THAT.
WHAT, FOR INSTANCE?
THIS.
NOW THAT'S THE RIGHT ORDER
IN WHICH THINGS ARE DONE
IN TEXAS.
[ Stammering ]
DON'T DO IT, WILL.
DON'T DO IT.
IT AIN'T RIGHT.
WELL, I'M SICK OF DOING
WHAT'S RIGHT.
I'M SICK OF TEACHING SCHOOL,
GETTING NOWHERE.
WILL, LISTEN TO ME.
IF IT'S MARY McCLOUD YOU'RE
THINKIN' OF, SHE'LL LIKE YOU
IF YOU AIN'T GOT A PENNY.
LEARNING, STUDYING,
WORKING LIKE A DOG.
WHAT DOES IT GET ME?
FIRST CHANCE I HAVE
TO BE SOMEBODY,
I'M BEATEN OUT OF IT...
BY AN IGNORANT COWHAND
WHO CAN'T EVEN WRITE
HIS OWN NAME.
WELL, I CAN WRITE MY NAME,
AND I'M GONNA WRITE I ACROSS THIS TERRITORY
IN FIRE AND BLOOD.
I'M GOING TO BE SOMEBODY
IN THIS COUNTRY, SOMEBODY BIG.
STOP IT, WILL! STOP IT!
YOU AIN'T GONNA TAKE
THAT ROAD. THAT'S WHY
WE COME HERE FROM OHIO,
AWAY FROM THE ROTTENNESS
OF YOUR BROTHERS.
WILL,
I TAUGHT YOU DIFFERENT.
THERE'S GOOD IN YA.
AND IT'S STRONGER
THAN THE BAD
THAT'S IN YOUR BLOOD.
WILL, I'VE ALREADY SEEN
THREE OF MY SONS TURN BAD.
RATHER THAN SEE YOU
FOLLOW 'EM, I'LL KILL YA.
ME THAT GIVE YOU LIFE.
I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING, MA.
I'LL BE RUNNING KANSAS YET.
I'M GOING CLEAR UP
TO THE TOP.
BUT I'M NOT GOING
FOR THE CLIMB OR THE VIEW.
PILE IN THERE. WE'RE
TAKING YOU ACROSS THE BORDER.
YOU'RE FREE.
GET OFF MY LAND!
WE DON'T WANT SLAVERY
IN KANSAS.
[ Gunshot ]
[ Woman Screaming ]
WHERE DO WE TAKE THIS BATCH?
RUN 'EM ACROSS
THE MISSOURI BORDER.
THEY SHOULD BRING
ABOUT 300 A PIECE.
YOU'RE SLOWIN' UP, CANTRELL.
I EXPECTED MORE THAN THIS.
THAT'S THE LAST OF IT.
I'M THROUGH WITH SLAVE RUNNING.
TOO RISKY.
FELLA NAMED JOHN BROWN
GOT HIMSELF HUNG FOR IT.
IT'S GUNRUNNING
FOR ME FROM NOW ON.
IT'S HEALTHIER.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
COUPLE OF MEN
ARE COMPLAININ'.
THEY'LL GET THEIR MONEY
WHEN WE GET OVER THE RIDGE.
THEY'RE FIGURING TO TAKE
THIS STUFF TO THE BORDER
AND TURN BACK.
LISTEN, BUSHRUP,
THEY'RE PAYING US PLENTY
OF MONEY FOR THESE GUNS.
I PROMISED TO DELIVER THEM
IN KANSAS.
NOW, IF YOU CAN'T DO THIS
MY WAY, SOMEBODY ELSE WILL.
SURE. SURE,
ANYTHING YOU SAY.
THERE. THERE THEY ARE.
COME ON, LET'S GET 'EM.
EASY, FLETCH. TAKE IT EASY.
WHIP 'EM UP, BOYS!
DID YOU GET A GOOD LOOK
AT HIM, BOB?
MAYBE.
TAKE THAT STUFF ON INTO TOWN.
I'LL SEE YA LATER.
IT'S PRETTY LATE
TO BE STOPPIN' BY.
OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
YOU'LL FIND ME BURNING
THE MIDNIGHT OIL MOST NIGHTS.
SAW YOUR LIGHT ON
IN THE WINDOW.
MR. CANTRELL, I NEED
SOME LEGAL ADVICE.
I'LL BE GLAD TO HELP YOU
IF I CAN.
COUPLE OF POINTS OF LAW
I'M NOT SO SURE OF.
YOU GOT A TERRITORIAL
CODE BOOK HANDY?
UH-HUH.
GOT ONE RIGHT HERE.
IT'S PRACTICALLY
MY BIBLE.
GLAD TO HEAR THAT,
TEACHER.
I HOPE YOU ABIDE BY I LIKE A CHRISTIAN DOES
THE GOOD BOOK.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW,
MARSHAL?
PENALTY FOR SMUGGLIN'.
WHAT SORT OF SMUGGLING?
UNLICENSED ARMS
INTO FEDERAL TERRITORY.
ALL RIGHT, HERE WE ARE.
"FIVE YEARS IMPRISONMENT, "
$5,000 FINE OR BOTH.
FIVE YEARS, EH?
IT'S A BIG SLICE
OUT OF A MAN'S LIFE,
TEACHER.
WHAT'S YOUR POINT,
SETON?
POINT IS, SOMEONE TRIED
TO RUN IN 500 RIFLES TONIGHT.
MM-HMM.
I FIGURED ON A GUN RUN
ONCE MYSELF.
EVEN I WAS TOO SMAR FOR THAT.
MR. CANTRELL, YOU'RE
ONE OF THE SMARTEST MEN
I'VE EVER KNOWN.
NOW, IF I DIDN'T LIKE YA--
NOW, JUST A MINUTE.
YOU'RE NOT ACCUSINGME,
ARE YOU?
NO, JUST TELLIN' YA.
I'D RATHER GIVE YOU ADVICE
HERE IN THE SCHOOLHOUSE...
THAN TO LOCK YA
IN THE JAILHOUSE.
WHY, YOU'RE A CRAZY MAN!
GUNRUNNING
AND SCHOOLTEACHING DON'T MIX.
DON'T YOU KNOW THAT?
I KNOW IT.
MAKE SURE YOU DO.
SO I'M LEARNIN' FLETCH
HOW TO BE A GOOD COWHAND.
HE'S LEARNIN' ME
TO BE A GENTLEMAN.
FLETCH MADE A BETTER DEAL.
YOU'RE BEING CHEATED.
HOW SO?
GOOD MORNING, WILL.
GOOD MORNING.
I'M NOT SETTIN' SO GOOD
WITH YOUR FRIEND, MR. CANTRELL.
WHY?
I THINK HE'S GO THE IDEA...
THAT I'M TRYIN'
TO STEAL YOU AWAY
OR SOMETHING.
AND?
WELL, I THINK MAYBE
HE'S RIGHT. GIDDYAP.
LOOKS LIKE THIS MAN
LINCOLN'S LIABLE TO WIN...
WITH THE DEMOCRATS
DIVIDING UP BETWEEN
DOUGLAS AND BRECKENRIDGE.
LOOKS LIKE A HEAP OF TROUBLE.
YEP. RUCKUSES IN THE SOUTH.
RUCKUSES IN THE NORTH.
LOOKS LIKE WAR
JUST AROUND THE CORNER.
WELL, ALL I WANT'S
TO BE LET ALONE
TO RAISE KANSAS WHEAT.
SOUTH TROUBLE AIN' NO CONCERN OF OURS.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
YOU FEEL SOUTH OR NORTH,
DEPENDING ON WHAT'S
IN YOUR HEART.
HEART NOTHIN'.
IT'S A MATTER OF POCKETBOOK
TO THE SOUTH.
YES, SIR, WHAT THEY WANT'S
FREE LABOR.
IN A NORTHERN MILL,
A MAN'S GOT A CHANCE
TO EARN A LIVING WAGE.
EIGHT AND SOMETIMES
TEN DOLLARS A WEEK.
CHEAP SLAVE LABOR--
THAT'S WHAT THE SOUTH
WANTS TO FIGHT FOR.
ALL THIS TALK
ABOUT SOUTHERN TRADITION
AND CHIVALRY.
WELL, THERE IS TRADITION
THERE, MR. HALE.
WHICH MR. HALE
CAN HARDLY APPRECIATE.
OH, ONE OF JEFF DAVIS' BOYS,
HUH?
WELL, I'D LIKE TO SEE THIS
SOUTHERN TRADITION AND CHIVALRY
BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND.
THAT'S A WISH THAT'D BE
HARD TO GRATIFY.
SOUTHERN HOMES KEEP
YOUR KIND IN THE STABLES.
YEAH? WELL, MAYBE
IF YOU HAD A MEAL IN THE STABLE
ONCE IN A WHILE...
AFTER A HARD DAY'S WORK,
YOU'D COME DOWN
OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE,
YOU AND THAT RICH BANKER FATHER
OF YOURS LIVIN' HIGH OFF
OF OTHER PEOPLE, TALKIN' BIG.
NEVER DID A DAY'S WORK
IN YOUR LIFE, NEITHER OF YOU.
YOU'RE A LIAR, MR. HALE.
I'LL KICK THE TRADITION
AND CHIVALRY OUT OF YOU.
I'LL TEACH YOU TO--
COME OUT!
COME OUT OF YOUR FINE HOUSE
AND LOOK AT IT!
MURDERERS!
GO ON AND TELL 'EM,
MRS. HALE.
YES, I'LL TELL 'EM.
YOU'LL HAVE PLENTY TO EA THIS WINTER. WHAT ABOUT US?
WHO'S GONNA BRING IN
OUR WHEAT?
WHERE'S MY HUSBAND?
I'LL TELL YA!
MURDERERS!
MURDERED BY YOUR
FINE YOUNG SNOB OF A SON!
LOOK, BOB, WE'RE NOT IN MARYLAND
OR VIRGINIA WHERE THE LAWS
ARE SO RIGID.
THIS IS THE FRONTIER.
I HAVE THE RIGHT TO HAVE MY SON
RELEASED ON BAIL.
SET THE AMOUN AS HIGH AS YOU LIKE.
I'LL POST IT IN CASH RIGHT NOW.
I'M SORRY, MR. McCLOUD,
BUT I JUST CAN'T DO IT.
YOU BOUGHT A HORSE TODAY
FROM MARTIN CLAUSSEN--
THE FASTEST HORSE HE OWNS.
WELL, THAT HORSE COULD TAKE
A MAN ACROSS THE BORDER
AND INTO SAFETY.
WOULD THAT BE SO AWFUL?
HE'S ONLY A BOY.
HE'S OLD ENOUGH
TO CARRY A GUN AND USE IT.
HE'LL HAVE TO STAY
IN MY CUSTODY.
YOU'LL SIT THERE AND CALMLY
SENTENCE MY BOY TO DEATH.
YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
BUT HE'LL BE SAFE, MR. McCLOUD.
HE'LL GET A FAIR TRIAL.
RELEASE MY BOY ON BAIL!
PLEASE, DAD.
LET ME SPEAK TO HIM.
BOB, I'M NOT GOING TO ARGUE
WITH YOU ABOUT RIGHT OR WRONG,
OR DUTY OR LAW.
I'M PLEADING WITH YOU
FOR THE LIFE OF MY BROTHER.
[ Stammering ]
I CAN'T.
IT-IT WOULDN'T BE RIGHT.
I DON'T CARE
WHETHER IT'S RIGHT OR NOT!
DOESN'T IT MEAN SOMETHING
TO YOU THAT I'M ASKING YOU
TO DO THIS FOR ME?
THAT BOY ADORES YOU, BOB.
HE IDOLIZES YOU.
HE WANTS TO PATTERN
HIS LIFE AFTER YOURS.
DOESN'T THAT MEAN SOMETHING?
MARY, I'D LIKE TO.
THEN DO IT.
DO IT FOR ME, FOR HIM,
FOR ALL OF US.
I CAN'T.
WHEN I TOOK THIS JOB--
IT GOT UNDER MY SKIN.
I TOOK AN OATH--
YOU TOOK AN OATH
THE OTHER NIGH THAT YOU LOVE ME.
YOU ASKED ME
TO MARRY YOU AGAIN.
YOU SWORE THAT--
BOB, BOB, PLEASE.
PLEASE, I'LL DO ANYTHING
FOR YOU.
I WANT YOU FOR MY WIFE
MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE
IN THE WORLD.
BUT NOT AS A BRIBE
FOR YOUR BROTHER.
I THOUGHT THEY BRED MEN
OF FLESH AND BLOOD IN TEXAS.
I WAS WRONG.
YOU'RE MADE OF GRANITE.
NO, MARY, JUST COMMON CLAY.
BAKES KINDA HARD
IN TEXAS.
SO, SETON PROMISES
I'LL GET A FAIR TRIAL,
DOES HE?
DON'T LOSE HEART, FLETCH.
YOU'LL BE A FREE MAN SOON.
OH, DON'T RAISE OUR HOPES
UNLESS YOU CAN DO SOMETHING.
I PROMISE YOU MORE
THAN YOUR FRIEND, THE MARSHAL,
IF YOU LEAVE THIS IN MY HANDS.
[ Will ]
ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE GOING TO VOTE GUILTY?
THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
[ Whip Cracking ]
YOU'VE GOT A FAMILY
AND FUTURE TO THINK OF, FARMER.
WHEN YOU VOTE,
THINK OF THEM.
REMEMBER THAT YOU GO A FAMILY AND FUTURE
TO THINK OF.
WHEN YOU VOTE,
THINK OF THEM.
YOU'VE GOT A FAMILY
AND FUTURE TO THINK OF.
WHEN YOU VOTE,
THINK OF THEM.
GENTLEMEN, YOU HAVE HEARD
ALL THE WITNESSES...
AND NOW YOU KNOW THE FACTS.
OR SHALL WE SAY,
THE SO-CALLED FACTS?
FOR IT MUST BE OBVIOUS THA A GREAT DEAL OF THIS TESTIMONY
REEKS OF PREJUDICE.
OUR COMMUNITY IS
PREDOMINANTLY NORTHERN
IN ITS SYMPATHIES.
YET, THE DEFENDANT,
FLETCHER McCLOUD,
IS A SOUTHERNER.
HE HAPPENS TO BELIEVE
IN THE SOVEREIGNTY
OF THE SOUTH,
BELIEVES IN IT SO FERVENTLY,
THAT HE FOUGHT WITH HALE
OVER THE ISSUE.
YET, IT IS HIS PRIVILEGE
TO HOLD TO THAT BELIEF.
IT IS NOT WITHIN YOUR POWER...
TO BRING HALE BACK TO LIFE.
BUT ITISWITHIN YOUR POWER,
BY RULING OUT THAT PREJUDICE
TO WHICH I HAVE REFERRED TO...
AND BY RENDERING
THE PROPER VERDICT,
TO GIVE LIFE BACK
TO THIS BOY.
LOOK AT HIM, GENTLEMEN.
LOOK AT HIS SISTER...
AND HIS FATHER.
NONE DEPLORE THE SPILLING
OF BLOOD MORE THAN THEY DO.
THEIR HEARTS ARE FULL OF
COMPASSION FOR THE FAMILY
OF THE DECEASED.
THEY ARE READY AND EAGER
TO MAKE WHATEVER AMENDS LIE
WITHIN THEIR POWER.
AND ALREADY THEY HAVE ARRANGED
TO SEE THAT MRS. HALE...
AND HER CHILDREN
ARE WELL CARED FOR.
GENTLEMEN, PAIN AND TORTURE...
ARE GRIM BEDFELLOWS.
IF YOUR VERDICT BE HASTY
AND MISTAKEN,
YOU WILL FOREVER AFTER
KNOW NO PEACE.
YOU DON'T WANT A TRAGIC MISTAKE
ON YOUR CONSCIENCES
TO HAUNT YOU...
ALL THE DAYS
OF YOUR LIFE.
YOU HAVE FAMILIES
AND FUTURES TO THINK OF.
WHEN YOU VOTE,
THINK OF THEM.
BEAR THEM IN MIND
WHEN YOU SEEK A VERDICT.
THIS SAME THING MIGHT HAVE
HAPPENED TO ANY ONE OF YOU
OR TO MEMBERS OF YOUR FAMILY.
YOURS IS A SOLEMN,
AWFUL RESPONSIBILITY.
IF YOU FIND THIS BOY GUILTY,
YOU KNOW THE PENALTY: DEATH.
SWIFT DEATH
FOR FLETCHER McCLOUD.
BUT AN ENDLESS,
LIVING DEATH OF FEAR
AND TERROR AND TORMENT...
TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU
WHO WILL HAVE WRONGLY
CONDEMNED HIM.
[ Cheering And Jeering ]
GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY,
YOU HAVE HEARD THE EVIDENCE.
YOU MAY NOW RETIRE
AND TRY TO COME TO A VERDICT.
THIS MESSAGE JUST CAME OVER
THE TELEGRAPH, MARSHAL.
[ Whispers Inaudibly ]
WAIT!
IT'S IMPORTANT, BOB. THE JUDGE
OUGHT TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT.
IF THEY GET WIND OF THIS
BEFORE THEY BRING IN A VERDICT,
FLETCH IS AS GOOD AS HUNG.
[ Chattering ]
[ Gavel Banging ]
[ Judge ]
GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY,
YOU HAVE COME TO A VERDICT?
YES, YOUR HONOR.
WE HAVE.
WE FIND FLETCHER MCCLOUD...
NOT GUILTY.
[ Crowd Gasps,
Boos, Applauds ]
I'LL NEVER BE ABLE
TO REPAY YOU, WILL.
WILL, YOU WERE MAGNIFICENT!
I'M SO HAPPY.
WELL, I GUESS YOU CAN TELL 'EM
ABOUT THIS NOW, JUDGE.
[ Gavel Banging ]
MY FRIENDS, I HAVE NEWS,
BAD NEWS, I FEAR.
THE SOUTH HAS SECEDED FROM
THE UNION, AND WAR HAS BEGUN.
[ Crowd Gasps, Chatters ]
[ Will ]
THIS WILL NOT BE A WAR OF SHOR DURATION, AS MANY PEOPLE THINK.
IT WILL BE AS DEADLY
AND AS FIERCELY FOUGH AS ANY CIVIL WAR IN HISTORY.
NOW, YOU MEN HAVE THROWN
YOUR LOYALTY TO ME,
AND THAT LOYALTY WILL BE
AMPLY REWARDED.
YOU'RE NOT FIGHTING
FOR THE NORTH, AND YOU'RE
NOT FIGHTING FOR THE SOUTH,
BUT YOU'RE FIGHTING TO TAKE
WHAT'S COMING TO YOU!
THE FINE GENTLEMEN
OF KANSAS AND MISSOURI...
WILL BE FIGHTING EACH OTHER
IN A WAR OVER SOMETHING
WE DON'T WANT ANY PART OF!
AND THE LONGER
THEY KEEP EACH OTHER BUSY,
THE BETTER WE'RE GONNA LIKE IT.
WE'RE GONNA LIVE OFF
THE FAT OF THE LAND, AND
WHAT WE DON'T WANT, WE'LL BURN.
I'LL SHOW YOU FELLAS MORE LIQUOR
THAN YOU EVER SAW BEFORE--
MORE MONEY,
MORE ANYTHING YOU WANT!
COME ON, NOW.
LET'S TAKE IT FROM 'EM!
YOU'LL HANG FOR THIS,
EVERY ONE OF YA. YOU CAN' STEAL HONEST MEN'S MONEY!
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT, BUSHRUP?
NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF UNIFORMS.
BURN 'EM UP!
UH, WAIT A MINUTE. GET YOUR MEN
INTO THEM. FROM NOW ON WE'LL BE
CONFEDERATE SOLDIERS.
COME ON.
DEAL 'EM OUT.
IF YOU'RE AFRAID, BOYS,
WE AIN'T ASKIN' YOU TO SIGN.
BUT IF YOU'RE LOOKIN'
FOR EXCITEMENT, GET THE OLD
JOHN HENRY DOWN ON PAPER.
WHAT YOU GONNA DO
WHEN YOU CATCH 'EM, DOC?
PULL THEIR TEETH?
[ All Laugh ]
YOU SHOULD HAVE NO DIFFICULTY
TRACKING DOWN THOSE GUERILLAS.
WHY, THESE FINE MEN ARE READY
TO LAY DOWN THEIR LIVES
IF NECESSARY,
IN ORDER THAT THE FAIR NAME
OF KANSAS WOULD STAND--
JUST SIGN 'ER
RIGHT HERE, JUDGE.
EH? WHAT'S THAT?
ENLISTMENT BLANK.
WE CAN USE A SMART MAN
LIKE YOU RIGHT UP IN FRONT.
VERY FUNNY.
VERY FUNNY, INDEED!
[ All Laugh ]
YOU MIGHT USE YOUR WIT TO
A BETTER ADVANTAGE IN TRACKING
DOWN THOSE GUERILLAS,
OR AT LEAST TRYING TO FIND OU WHO THE LEADER IS.
DIDN'T I TELL YA? I KNEW
THIS WOULD HAPPEN THE MINUTE
THAT LINCOLN FELLA GOT ELECTED.
IF THOSE GUERILLAS HIT TOWN
THEY'LL CLEAN HOUSE!
WON'T DO MORE
THAN THE GOVERNMENT'S DOIN'.
- THEY UPPED TAXES TO RAISE
MONEY FOR THE NORTHERN ARMY.
- THE SOUTH DOIN' THE SAME.
I HEAR ANGUS McCLOUD AND THA CROWD ARE SENDIN' PLENTY DOWN.
AND WHO'S MONEY IS IT?
IT'S THE MONEY IN HIS BANK,
YOURMONEY HE'S SENDIN'
TO THE SOUTH!
I WARNED YA BEFORE, BUT YOU KEP SAYING I WAS A BIT TETCHED
BECAUSE I'D LOST MY OLD MAN.
WELL, YOU'RE GONNA
PAY FOR IT NOW!
YOU'RE GONNA BE
AS POOR AS ME!
AND YA AIN'T NEVER GONNA
GET IT BACK!
I'M GONNA GET MY MONEY
OUTTA THAT BANK.
COME ON.
WE WANT OUR MONEY.
[ Crowd Shouting ]
THERE IS YOUR MONEY,
MAYOR BARSTOW, AND SHAME ON YA.
WHO MADE YOU A LOAN
WHEN YOUR WHEAT FAILED?
I DID. I HAD TRUST IN YOU.
WELL, I'M A BETTER BANKER
THAN YOU'LL EVER BE A FARMER.
ALL RIGHT. ON YOUR WAY.
TAKE OVER HERE AND PAY OFF
AS LONG AS YOU CAN.
YES, SIR.
CALM DOWN, FOLKS.
THIS BANK'S SOLID.
JUST BECAUSE WE'RE RECRUITING
IS NO SIGN FOR YOU TO RUN LOCO.
WELL, DO SOMETHIN'!
DON'T STAND THERE
LIKE A BUMP ON A LOG.
THEY'LL GET THEIR MONEY
IF THEY GIVE ME TIME.
THEIR MONEY'S SAFE.
THEY'RE WHEAT FARMERS.
THERE NEVER WAS A WAR FOUGHT...
AND THERE NEVER WILL BE
THAT DIDN'T SEND
THE PRICE OF WHEAT SKY-HIGH.
THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOU IT, IF THEY WANT THEIR MONEY.
YOU GOT US INTO THIS
WITH YOUR FLAG-WAVIN'.
YOU'RE THE LAW-- STOP THEM.
FOOLS, COWARDS,
PACK OF SCARED RABBITS!
I'LL SHOW 'EM!
MY FATHER'S BANK IS SAFE!
LISTEN TO HIM!
[ Angry Chattering ]
CAN'T YOU MAKE THEM LISTEN?
GIVE HIM A CHANCE TO TALK TO YA.
YOUR MONEY'S SAFE.
HEY, SON. GIVE ME THAT GUN
YOU'RE SO FOND OF TOTIN'.
[ Crowd Quiets ]
THAT'S BETTER.
NOW THERE'S A LITTLE QUIET,
I CAN TELL YOU
WHAT A SNIVELLIN', BLATHERIN',
COWARDLY LOT YOU ARE.
YOU'LL GET YOUR MONEY
IF YOU GIVE ME TIME.
BUT MONEY'S NOT LIKE WATER THA YOU CAN DRAW OUT OF A SPIGOT.
[ Crowd Shouting ]
SKINFLINT!
LIAR!
CROOK!
CALL ME A SKINFLIN IF YOU LIKE. CALL ME A USER
IF YOU'VE A MIND TO,
BUT DON'T CALL ME
A THIEF AND A LIAR!
YOU'LL GET YOUR MONEY.
THIS BANK IS SOUND!
YOUR MONEY'S SAFE, I--
- [ Gunshot Fires ]
- [ Crowd Screams ]
THAT'S WHAT COMES
OF CARRYING A GUN, SON.
[ Coughs ]
TAKE CARE OF HIM, DOC.
[ Woman ]
OH, WHAT DID HE DO?
DAD? DAD!
[ Sobbing ]
YOU'RE TO BLAME FOR THIS.
YOU KILLED HIM!
YOU DIDN'T GET ME
SO YOU GOT HIM!
STEADY, BOY. STEADY!
FOUR DAYS AND NIGHTS
I'VE BEEN WAITIN' FOR YA.
WHERE YA BEEN?
TELL ME THE TRUTH.
I TOLD YOU THE TRUTH.
IN THE ARMY.
WHAT ARMY?
THE CONFEDERATE ARMY.
YOU'RE LYIN' TO ME, WILL.
YOU AIN'T FIGHTIN'
FOR THE SOUTH OR THE NORTH.
YOU'RE FIGHTIN'
WITH THE HOSTS OF DARKNESS, AND
THE DEVIL'S RIDIN' ASIDE YOU.
THAT'S ENOUGH.
MY LIFE'S MY OWN,
AND I'M GOING TO LIVE IT.
YES, AND THE ROAD YOU'VE TAKEN
YOU'LL END UP ON THE GALLOWS!
I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, MA.
THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HAVE
TO POSE AS MY HOUSEKEEPER
ANY LONGER.
I'M A RICH MAN.
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE
FINE THINGS TO WEAR
AND A BIG HOUSE TO LIVE IN...
AND SERVANTS.
I WANT NO FINE HOUSE,
NO SERVANTS.
FOR YEARS I'VE BEEN PROUD
TO SERVE YOU MYSELF,
HELP YOU.
I'LL HAVE NO PAR OF YOUR NEW LIFE,
YOUR NEW RICHES.
PEOPLE ARE ASKIN' QUESTIONS
WHY YOU AIN'T HERE, WILL.
WHO?
FLETCH WAS HERE
ASKING FOR YA YESTERDAY.
SAID HIS SISTER'S
LEAVIN' KANSAS,
GOIN' EAST.
IT'S FUNNY, ISN'T IT, WILL?
WE CAN PACK THINGS
LIKE THESE SO CAREFULLY,
AND YET OUR PLANS--
OUR LIVES, EVEN--
GET SMASHED
NO MATTER WHAT WE DO.
YOU'RE MUCH TOO YOUNG
TO BE SO BITTER AND CYNICAL.
I DON'T FEEL YOUNG ANYMORE.
DAD'S GONE.
FLETCH WANTS
TO JOIN THE SOUTH.
I CAN'T STOP HIM.
YOU TOO. YOU BELONG
TO THE SOUTHERN ARMIES.
YOU'RE IN DANGER RIGHT NOW,
JUST BY VISITING ME.
I'VE GOT TO GET AWAY FROM HERE.
I CAN'T STAND IT ANY LONGER.
YES, BUT WHERE ARE YOU GOING
TO GO, AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING
TO DO WHEN YOU GET THERE?
[ Sighs ]
DON'T GO EAST, MARY.
COME WITH ME.
I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU
THAT I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU...
AND THAT I'VE ALWAYS HOPED
SOMEDAY YOU'D MARRY ME.
[ Sighs ]
I KNOW, WILL.
BUT--
NO, NO.
DON'T FINISH IT.
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
GOING TO SAY.
YOU WERE GOING TO SAY,
"BUT I DON'T LOVE YOU, WILL. "
WEREN'T YOU?
YES, IT'S TRUE.
I DON'T LOVE YOU.
BUT I DO LIKE YOU.
I ALWAYS HAVE.
YOU'VE BEEN A GOOD FRIEND.
MARY, STOP PACKING A MINUTE.
COME HERE.
LOOK AT ME.
WILL YOU MARRY ME?
WILL, I'M THE DAUGHTER
OF A SCOTCHMAN.
I COULDN'T MARRY YOU
UNLESS I GAVE YOU
MY HONEST OPINION FIRST.
[ Chuckling ]
I THINK YOU'RE MAKING
A BAD BARGAIN.
I'VE GOT SCOTCH BLOOD TOO.
I WON'T BE THE LOSER.
DOES THAT MEAN
YOUWILLMARRY ME?
YES, IF YOU WANT ME.
MAYBE I CAN TEACH YOU
TO LOVE ME.
TO LOVE HONOR AND OBEY
SO LONG AS YE BOTH SHALL LIVE?
I DO.
THEN I PRONOUNCE YOU
MAN AND WIFE.
WHERE CAN I FIND
THE MARSHAL?
WHAT'S UP?
BUSHRUP'S GUERRILLAS ARE
SACKIN' THOMASVILLE!
I'LL TAKE YA OVER!
FLETCH, YOU TAKE MARY
UP TO THE HOUSE?
WILL, WHAT IS IT?
I'VE GOT TO LEAVE.
THEY'RE NOT GUERRILLAS.
GOT TO LEAVE?
THEY'RE SOUTHERN TROOPS,
PART OF MY DETACHMENT.
BUT WHY DOYOUHAVE TO--
IF THEY'RE NOT WARNED THEY'LL
BE AMBUSHED AND WIPED OUT.
[ Fletch ]
I'M GOIN' WITH YOU.
I'LL GET THE HORSES.
WILL, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
MARY, I'VE GOT TO DO THIS,
AND I HAVEN'T TIME TO EXPLAIN,
BUT I'LL COME BACK TO YOU
SOON, DARLING.
[ Bell Tolling ]
[ Whinnies ]
DON'T FIRE TILL I SIGNAL.
WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU CAN'T SHOOT 'EM DOWN
IN COLD BLOOD.
THIS IS WAR, YOUNGSTER.
[ Gunshots ]
BOB. BOB, COME ON!
YAH!
YAH!
YOU SAY IT'S CANTRELL.
YOU'VE BEEN SAYIN' IT FOR WEEKS.
WHY, YOU HAD HALF THE TOWN
WASTING TIME SEARCHING,
AND STILL NOTHING'S BEEN DONE!
NOW, THIS KIND OF THING--
QUIT DEBATING, JUDGE,
AND GET TO THE POINT!
I'LL SAVE YA THE TROUBLE,
JUDGE.
YOU WANT A NEW MAN.
ALL RIGHT. GET ONE.
BEEN RIDIN' MYSELF SADDLE SILLY
AND LISTENING TO YOUR SNIVELLIN'
LONG ENOUGH.
BEEN STAYIN' HERE
AGAINST MY WILL AS IT WAS,
TRYING TO DO
THE DECENT THING AND
CARRY OUT MY END OF THE DEAL.
WELL, YOU'RE RELIEVIN' ME
OF THAT, AND THAT'S FINE.
MAYBE I OUGHT TO THANK YOU.
CANTRELL AND HIS GUERRILLAS
HAVE BEEN RAIDIN' NORTH,
SOUTH, EAST AND WEST,
BUT THEY AIN'T BEEN
AROUND LAWRENCE.
ANY OF YOU FUDDLEHEADS
EVER STOP TO FIGURE OU MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE...
THEY'RE AFRAID TO TANGLE
WITH YOURLATEMARSHAL?
I'VE HAD YOU
IN MY BARBER CHAIR
DAY AFTER DAY,
AND MANY'S THE TIME I'VE WANTED
TO SLIT YOUR FOOL THROA FROM EAR TO EAR.
I'M GLAD I DIDN'T NOW.
THAT'LL BE FOR CANTRELL
TO DO WHEN HE GETS HERE RIDIN'.
WELL, THE POINT'S
WELL TAKEN.
[ Scoffs ]
UNGRATEFUL PACK OF "HYENIES. "
FORGET IT, DOC.
HEY, WHAT'S GOIN' ON UP THERE?
THEY'RE GONNA RUN
CANTRELL'S WIFE OUTTA TOWN.
[ Crowd Shouting ]
WHY DON'T YOU ALL GO UPSTAIRS?
DON'T LISTEN TO THAT TRASH
OUT THERE.
WHAT ARE YOU
STANDIN' THERE FOR?
DIDN'T CANTRELL KILL
YOUR FRIENDS AND RELATIVES?
SHE'S NO BETTER THAN HIM!
GO ON!
RUN HER OUTTA TOWN!
CLEAR OUTTA HERE, ALL OF YA.
[ Man ]
HE AIN'T THE MARSHAL NO MORE!
THAT'S RIGHT, I AIN'T.
SO YOUR LAWS DON'T BOTHER ME
NO MORE.
THE NEXT ONE OF YOU POLECATS
THROWS ANYTHING IS GONNA GE A LAW BUSTED RIGHT IN HIS FACE.
NOW, GET OUT.
COME ON, GET OUT OF HERE.
BREAK IT UP.
GO ON. GET OUT OF HERE,
ALL OF YOU.
THANKS FOR TRYING TO HELP.
WELL, YOU CAN'T BLAME 'EM
TOO MUCH. A LOT OF 'EM
HAVE HAD KINFOLK KILLED.
YES, I KNOW. I--
I'M GOING.
WELL, WHERE?
MISSOURI, NEAR DORRANCE.
RELATIVES THERE?
YES. MY HUSBAND.
TO HIM?
YES.
MARY, YOU CAN'T.
YOU'RE BETTER OFF HERE.
HE'S MY HUSBAND.
MY PLACE IS WITH HIM.
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT HE IS.
YOU'VE HEARD THE STORIES.
I KNOW THE LIES THAT HAVE BEEN
PRINTED BECAUSE THIS IS KANSAS
AND HE'S FIGHTING FOR THE SOUTH.
THEY'RE NOT LIES.
THEY'RE THE TRUTH.
HE'S NOTHING BUT--
YOU WANT TO BELIEVE
THOSE LIES...
BECAUSE YOU WANT TO BELIEVE
THAT I MADE A MISTAKE.
IF YOU'RE OF THE SAME MIND
IN THE MORNING,
I'LL TAKE YOU TO HIM.
I'M LEAVING KANSAS MYSELF.
[ Sighs ]
HOW MUCH FURTHER IS I TO THE BORDER?
WE'LL CROSS I IN A COUPLE HOURS.
PLACE YOU'RE HEADIN' FOR
IS EIGHT OR NINE MILES
DOWN THE ROAD-- HILL COUNTRY.
THEY SAY IT'S LOVELY TOO.
DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVELY COUNTRY
REALLY IS TILL YOU'VE
SEEN TEXAS.
TEXAS.
IN THE SPRINGTIME.
THE RANGE IS COVERED
WITH LUPINE-- BRIGHT... BLUE,
BLUE AS YOUR EYES.
WELL, ALMOST AS BLUE.
[ Sighing ]
BOB, I THINK WE BETTER
GET GOING.
MARY, YOU REMEMBER
THE FIRST TIME I MET YOU,
WHEN YOU KEPT LOOKING AROUND
FOR MY KEEPER...
'CAUSE YOU THOUGHT I WAS
TOO CRAZY TO BE OUT BY MYSELF?
[ Laughing ]
YES.
WELL, YOU BETTER STAR LOOKIN' AROUND AGAIN,
'CAUSE I'M GOING TO SAY
SOMETHING CRAZIER THAN THAT.
I KNOW YOU'RE MARRIED TO HIM,
AND I GOT NO RIGHT TO SAY THIS,
BUT I STILL LOVE YOU.
OH, BOB.
YOU DON'T LOVE HIM.
YOU NEVER DID.
BOB, PLEASE.
I GOT A RANCH IN TEXAS.
I WANT TO DRIVE YOU DOWN THERE.
WILL YOU GO WITH ME?
WILL YOU?
BOB, I CAN'T.
PLEASE DON'T SAY ANY MORE.
HYAH!
THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU.
YES.
YOU SURE YOU WON' CHANGE YOUR MIND?
NO, BOB.
WHERE'LL YOU BE GOING?
TEXAS.
GOOD-BYE, MARY.
GOOD-BYE, BOB.
[ Laughing, Shouting ]
HEY, WILL!
THE BOYS ARE BRINGIN'
YOUR WIFE IN.
PICKED HER UP
OUTSIDE OF CAMP.
???? [ Band Playing ]
[ Laughing, Whooping ]
MARY, DARLING.
IT'S... BEEN A LONG TIME,
HASN'T IT, WILL?
- MARY!
- FLETCH! OH, FLETCH,
IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
LISTEN, SIS, YOU TOOK
AN AWFUL CHANCE COMIN' ACROSS
THAT WATER TERRITORY ALONE.
BUT I DIDN'T COME ALONE.
BOB SETON BROUGHT ME
WITHIN A MILE FROM HERE.
- SETON?
- YES, HE WAS ABOUT THE LAS FRIEND I HAD IN LAWRENCE.
FLETCH, AS SOON AS YOU GE THOSE WAGONS ROLLING, COME
BACK AND HAVE DINNER WITH US.
COME ON, DEAR.
LIKE IT?
IT'S GOING TO BE
MY HEADQUARTERS, PERMANENTLY,
SO I WANTED TO HAVE IT...
JUST AS NICE
AS POSSIBLE FOR YOU.
SURPRISED?
I'M AMAZED.
I EXPECTED TO FIND YOU
IN SOME SHACK, OR--
WAR HAS MADE A GREAT CHANGE
IN YOU, WILL.
IT TOOK
A GRUBBING SCHOOLTEACHER...
AND MADE A MAJOR OUT OF HIM,
GAVE HIM ALL THIS.
WHERE DID IT ALL COME FROM?
I BET YOU USED TO ASK THA QUESTION WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE,
IN JUST THAT SAME TONE,
WHEN YOU FOUND ALL THE PRESENTS
UNDER THE CHRISTMAS TREE.
NO, NO.
I'M SERIOUS, WILL.
I WANT TO KNOW.
WELL, TECHNICALLY, THEY'RE
CALLED THE SPOILS OF WAR.
AND ALL THROUGH
THE FIGHTING, DARLING,
UH,
THIS WILL PROVE
THAT I WAS THINKING OF YOU.
TAKE IT.
OPEN IT UP. IT'S YOURS.
WILL, I WAN TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.
WELL?
I'VE HEARD A LO OF UGLY STORIES THAT YOU'RE--
WILL. WILL!
LOOK WHAT WE PICKED UP.
I HAD A TOUGH TIME SAVING HIM
FOR YA. THE BOYS WANTED
TO TRIM A TREE WITH HIM.
[ Mary ]
BOB.
UNTIE HIM, BUSHRUP.
MR. SETON IS HERE
AS MY FRIEND, NOT AS MY ENEMY.
WHILE HE'S IN CAMP
HE IS TO BE TREATED
AS MY PERSONAL GUEST...
AND SHOWN EVERY COURTESY.
YES SIR.
AS YOUR GUEST.
UH, YOU'D PROBABLY LIKE
TO WASH UP A BIT. PHIL?
YES, SIR?
TAKE MR. SETON TO MY QUARTERS.
SEE HE HAS EVERYTHING HE WANTS.
YOU'LL FIND HIM PRACTICALLY
AT YOUR BECK AND CALL.
LATER, MY WIFE AND I TRUS YOU WILL DO US THE HONOR
TO DINE WITH US.
THANKS.
NOW, NOW, NOW.
DON'T WORRY.
I'LL MAKE MYSELF
PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE
FOR HIS SAFETY AND COMFORT.
AH, SETON.
YOU'RE PRETTIED UP
FIT TO KILL.
HAVE A DRINK.
NO, THANKS.
I, UH, HAVE A FEELING
YOUR STAY WITH US IS
GOING TO BE RATHER BRIEF,
SO I'D LIKE TO EXTEND
EVERY HOSPITALITY.
HAD I KNOWN YOU WERE AROUND
THIS NECK OF THE WOODS I'D HAVE
POSTED SIGNS SAYING "KEEP OUT, "
BUT, UNFORTUNATELY,
YOU COULDN'T HAVE READ THEM.
YOU LEARNED ME TO READ FIGURES
PRETTY GOOD, THOUGH, CANTRELL.
UH-HUH.
THERE'S SOME
DON'T QUITE ADD UP.
WHAT'S THAT?
GENERAL BEAUREGARD
AND THE FIFTH ARMY...
ARE A LONG WAYS FROM HERE,
YET THAT DOOHICKUS
ON YOUR COLLAR SAYS FIFTH ARMY.
WHAT SORT OF DOOHICKUS
WOULD YOU LIKE ON THE UNIFORM
OF YOUR FIRING SQUAD?
FIRING SQUAD, EH?
YEAH.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU'RE AN OFFICER NOW,
AND A GENTLEMAN.
I WAS FIGURING
IT'D BE A ROPE PARTY.
OH, NO, SETON.
AFTER ALL YOU'VE DONE FOR ME...
THE LEAST I COULD DO
FOR YOU WOULD BE TO GRANT YOU
FULL MILITARY HONORS.
LIKE THE WAY OUR MESS IS RUN?
PRETTY GOOD TURKEY THERE,
ISN'T IT?
YEAH.
FIRST TIME I EVER HAD
TWO KINDS OF BIRD
WITH ONE MEAL:
TURKEY TO EA AND BUZZARD TO LOOK AT.
PUT THAT KNIFE DOWN, SETON.
- YOU HEARD WHAT HE SAID.
- I'M A FAIR HAND
WITH A BOWIE KNIFE, MISTER.
I'LL PUT THIS THROUGH
THE FIRST ONE OF YOU
PULLS A GUN.
OH, WELL, WE'RE ALL
FAMISHED AND WAITING FOR YOU.
I'M SORRY I'M LATE.
SIT DOWN HERE, DARLING.
SETON, OVER THERE.
WHERE'S FLETCH?
SIT DOWN, BOY.
I CAME TO TELL YOU
I'D RATHER NOT JOIN YOU.
WHY NOT?
NOT WITH MR. SETON HERE.
OH, WELL, SUIT YOURSELF,
FLETCH. WE'RE HUNGRY.
GOOD FOOD, GOOD WINE
AND GOOD TALK.
WHAT MORE COULD
A MAN ASK FOR?
THAT RIGHT, MARY?
YES, THAT'S RIGHT,
EXCEPT, AS DAD USED TO ADD,
GOOD FRIENDS.
OH, YES. OF COURSE.
AND, UH, WE'RE LUCKY
TO HAVE SUCH A FRIEND
WITH US TONIGHT.
LET'S DRINK TO AN EARLY PEACE,
WITH HONOR.
[ Clears Throat ]
I HAVE A VERY PERSONAL REASON
FOR PROPOSING THAT TOAST.
SOMETHING I HAVEN' TOLD YOU, MARY.
YES? WHAT IS IT?
I'VE BOUGHT A PLACE
IN VIRGINIA, RIGHT IN THE HEAR OF THE SHENANDOAH VALLEY,
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL ESTATE
YOU HAVE EVER SEEN.
SHENANDOAH VALLEY, EH?
UH-HUH.
THAT FIFTH ARMY
REALLY GETS AROUND, DON'T IT?
YOU LIKE VIRGINIA, DON'T YOU?
OH, YES.
I THINK IT'S LOVELY THERE.
BUT BEFORE GOING,
I THINK I'D ENJOY
SEEING THE WHOLE SOUTH.
- WELL, WHY NOT?
- BAYOU COUNTRY, LOUISIANA AND
TEXAS SHOULD BE INTERESTING.
I WAS JUST THINKING
A FEW MINUTES AGO I'D--
I'D LIKE TO GO TO TEXAS.
WELL, IF LUCK'S WITH US,
THERE'S NO REASON
WE CAN'T DO IT.
MAKE A GRAND TOUR,
INCLUDINGTEXAS.
BE SURE AND MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE
ON YOUR SIDE OF THE CAMP.
HE NEEDS A GOOD REST.
[ Laughing, Music Continue ]
IN THERE.
LET HIM STEW FOR A WHILE.
WELL, I'M GOIN'
DOWN THERE NOW.
NO. YOU LET SETON ALONE.
I DON'T WANT YOU
GOING DOWN THERE.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM
MYSELF.
GIVE ME THAT GUN.
WAIT OUTSIDE.
HERE. BOB, YOU WERE RIGH ABOUT CANTRELL. WE'VE
GOT TO GET MARY OUTTA HERE.
WILL, I'M NOT BLIND.
I'VE SEEN ENOUGH
SINCE I GOT HERE...
TO PROVE THOSE STORIES
I HEARD IN LAWRENCE ARE TRUE.
I DON'T CARE
WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT ME
IN LAWRENCE OR ANYPLACE ELSE.
I'M ONLY INTERESTED
IN WHAT YOU THINK.
FOR YEARS I SAT IN THA SCHOOLHOUSE THINKING OF YOU,
DREAMING OF YOU.
I WANTED TO BE ABLE TO OFFER YOU
THE MOON ON A GOLDEN PLATTER.
I REGRET NOTHING I'VE DONE,
AND I'LL DO IT AGAIN.
I'D PLUNDER A DOZEN STATES...
TO GET YOU AND TO KEEP YOU.
I'M YOUR WIFE.
I CAME HERE
OF MY OWN FREE WILL.
I'LL STAY HERE AS YOUR WIFE,
ON ONE CONDITION.
SOMETHING INVOLVING
MR. SETON, NO DOUBT.
YES.
SAFE PASSAGE FOR MR. SETON
THROUGH YOUR LINES,
AND PROOF THAT HE GOT IT.
ALL RIGHT.
FOR SUCH A PRIZE,
I CAN AFFORD TO BE GENEROUS.
[ Gunshot ]
???? [ Music Stops ]
[ Gunshot ]
WHERE'S FLETCH?
I THINK HE CALLED
ON YOUR FRIEND.
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT, MARY.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
WHERE'D THOSE SHOTS
COME FROM?
FLETCH IN THERE?
YES.
I THINK HE GAVE IT TO HIM.
I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU
TO LET--
TURN AROUND, MISTER.
GET OVER THERE.
GET OVER.
COVER THE DOOR, FLETCH.
CAN YOU GET SOME HORSES?
I'VE GOT A TEAM ALL READY.
YOU BETTER GET MARY.
WHERE WILL YOU BE?
AT THE BRIDGE.
???? [ Music Continues ]
COME ON, FLETCH!
HAVE YOURSELF A GOOD TIME.
[ Laughs ]
DO WE HAVE TO GO
THROUGH THE CAMP?
THAT'S THE ONLY WAY OUT.
CANTRELL AIN'T GONNA
RAID LAWRENCE TONIGHT.
HE'S GOT COMPANY!
[ All Laugh ]
GET ON THOSE HORSES!
BUSHRUP, STOP THAT WAGON!
BOB, LOOK!
YAH!
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
CANTRELL AND HIS GUERRILLAS
ARE HEADED THIS WAY.
DOC! WAKE UP THE TOWN!
DOC!
WHAT'S UP?
FLETCH IS HURT. GET DR. LORD,
BRING HIM TO THE McCLOUD HOUSE.
HE WENT TO NEWTON THIS MORNING,
BUT I'LL TAKE THE CASE.
BUT HE NEEDS
MEDICAL ASSISTANCE.
AND HE'LL GET IT, LADY.
YOU'RE LOOKING DIRECTLY
AT THE BEST DOCTOR
WEST OF THE MISSISSIPPI.
COME ON. GET UP!
WAKE UP, EVERYBODY!
COME TO LIFE!
WAKE UP IN THERE!
AT THIS HOUR OF THE NIGHT?
WHAT IS IT?
WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?
CANTRELL AND HIS RAIDERS
ARE COMIN'.
WELL, THAT'S NO REASON
TO GET EVERYBODY UP
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.
WHO?
CANTRELL.
OH, THE MILITIA!
NOBODY'S HERE, THEY'RE GONE.
I SENT THEM TO DODDSTOWN.
HE'LL BURN EVERYBODY
IN THEIR BEDS,
LIKE HE DID AT THOMASVILLE.
GET THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN
INTO THE TOWN HALL,
ALL OF 'EM, FAST.
WHAT DO WE DO?
WHAT DO WE DO?
GREAT SCOTT!
I NEVER EXPECTED THAT.
I THOUGHT IT WAS IN DODDSTOWN.
HAD A TIP AND SENT THE MILITIA.
WE'VE GOT TO SURRENDER.
WE'VE GOT TO SURRENDER,
I TELL YOU!
ARE THERE ANY WAGONS
IN TOWN, OR DID THE MILITIA
TAKE THEM ALL?
YES. I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW!
WHO WOULD HAVE EXPECTED THAT?
THERE ARE 30 OR 40
OF THEM, MARSHAL.
WELL, GET 'EM.
YES, GET 'EM! GET 'EM!
MARTHA, BRING DOWN MY GUN!
THE ONE WITH THE LONG BARREL!
[ Screaming, Shouting ]
BRING ON THEM WAGONS!
HURRY IT UP!
[ Screaming, Shouting
Continue ]
DID YOU GET THROUGH
TO DODDSTOWN?
I CAN'T. THE LINES ARE DOWN.
HE'S-- HE'S STILL
UNCONSCIOUS, ISN'T HE, DOC?
AND LUCKY.
CAN'T FEEL ANY OF THIS.
LAST TIME I DID
AN OPERATION, I--
WHEN--
WHEN WAS THAT, DOC?
ELEVEN YEARS AGO.
I BELIEVE IN YOU.
I KNOW YOU CAN SAVE HIM.
I'M GONNA TRY
MIGHTY HARD, MARY.
DO YOU THINK YOU COULD
GET SOME BANDAGES?
OH, SURE.
[ Door Closing ]
I HEARD YOUR BROTHER WAS HURT.
I COME OVER TO SEE
IF I COULD HELP.
HOW IS HE?
HE'S BADLY WOUNDED. HE WAS
SHOT GETTING AWAY FROM CAMP.
IT'S BETTER
YOU AIN'T ALONE HERE.
OH, MARY,
HURRY UP
WITH THOSE BANDAGES.
OH, ALL RIGHT.
I'LL HANDLE THIS SITUATION.
THERE'S NOTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT! BE CALM!
[ Gunfire ]
TAKE COVER!
WE'LL HAVE TO BURN 'EM OUT.
GET A WAGON READY.
INJUN TACTICS.
LOOK OUT!
GET BACK!
[ Screaming ]
I SPOTTED THE WAGON
YOUR WIFE GOT AWAY IN.
IT'S IN FRONT OF HER HOUSE.
YOU KNOW YOUR BUSINESS HERE.
HEY, SETON! CANTRELL'S
RIDING UP NORTH CREEK ROAD.
[ Gunfire Continues ]
BE OUT IN A FEW MINUTES.
WHERE YOU GOIN', WILL?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
WHERE'S MARY?
SHE'S BUSY.
WILL, YOU AIN'T GOIN' UP.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
WHAT'S THAT GUN FOR?
IT'S FOR YOU, WILL.
I THOUGHT I'D BORNED A MAN CHILD
WHEN I FIRST HEARD YOU
SQUALLING, BUT I DIDN'T.
I BORNED A DIRTY, MURDERIN'
SNAKE THAT'S BROKE MY HEAR TO SEE IT CRAWLIN' ALONG.
- YOU'RE NO GOOD, WILL.
- I'VE KILLED A LOT OF MEN
FOR SAYING LESS THAN THAT.
YOU'VE KILLED A LOT OF MEN
FOR SAYIN' NOTHIN' AT ALL.
KANSAS IS RED WITH BLEEDIN'.
I CURSE THE DAY
I EVER HAD YOU.
[ Scoffs ]
STAND WHERE YA ARE, WILL!
YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH TO HER.
YOU AIN'T GOIN' NIGH HER AGAIN.
MA. MA!
SPEAK TO ME.
MA, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
OH, I WOULDN'T HAVE HURT YOU
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENED.
I'LL KILL THE MAN
THAT FIRED THAT SHOT.
GIVE OVER KILLIN', WILL.
IT WON'T CHANGE NOTHIN' NOW.
YOU'RE AT THE END OF THE ROAD,
AND THE DEVIL'S ASIDE YE,
WAITIN'.
DON'T.
GET OUT OF TOWN!
THE MILITIA'S COMING!
[ Screaming ]
- WELL, HELLO, DOC.
- I DONE IT. I REMEMBERED HOW.
I WAS AFRAID MY HANDS HAD LOS THEIR CUNNING, BUT I DONE IT.
JUMPIN' CATFISH, I'M OU OF THE BARBERIN' BUSINESS.
I'M A PRACTICIN'
PHYSICIAN AGAIN!
MY SCISSORS.
WHERE'S MY SCISSORS?
[ Clanking ]
DON'T WORRY, DOC.
HERE THEY ARE.
[ Relieved Sigh ]
I GUESS LAWRENCE HAS
BURNED TO THE GROUND.
YEAH.
WELL, WE GOT A SAYIN'
DOWN IN TEXAS...
THAT IT TAKES A GOOD FIRE
TO BURN DOWN THE WEEDS,
LET THE FLOWERS GROW.
YOU'VE GOT A SAYING IN TEXAS
FOR JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING,
HAVEN'T YOU?
EVER HEAR WHA WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE SAID?
"ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL. "
SHAKESPEARE, HUH?
WELL, HE MUST HAVE
COME FROM TEXAS.
WE'VE BEEN SAYIN' THA DOWN THERE FOR YEARS.
CLOSED-CAPTIONED BY
CAPTIONS, INC. LOS ANGELES