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Dark Rising: Bring Your Battle Axe (2007)
[music throughout] MAN (chanting):
Danska, Vitara... Leokad... Kucin...Katara... [rustling] Dansk-Vitara... [thunderclap] [rustling] katara-viska... Viska-Ro... [loud cry] [loud cry] [] MAN (reading): Menda, rotran... -Daddy? -Summer... You gave me quite a scare. Sorry daddy. Why aren't you in bed? I couldn't sleep. Listen to me, Summer. Daddy's got a lot of work to do. Maybe I can help. What language is it? Nothing you've ever heard. Maria? That's mommy right? It's time to go to bed. Please can I stay up just a little later... Pleeeeassse... Well you could... But if you do... ...then you'll have the tickle monster to deal with. [laughter] In to bed! [laughing] Come on, under the covers. Raaaargh! [squealing, giggling] There was a young lady who-- Dad, no singing. But I have such a beautiful voice. Tell me a story. Summer... A short one. -Promise? -I promise. Okay, a short one. Now close your eyes. And tell me what kind of story you want to hear. A monster story! A monster story? But there's no such thing as monsters. Yes there are! Have you ever seen one? No. See... How about a story about a Princess... and her father the King who loves her very much. Daddy, your female characters come off a little superficial. Not this one. Because this story the princess was the most beautiful in all the world. Really? What did she look like? Well, she had long, beautiful brown hair, and gorgeous hazel eyes. And her smile was just about the most precious anyone had ever seen... One day, when she was all grown up, her prince did come and made her the happiest princess in the whole land. Why does the Princess need a Prince to make her happy? Do you want to hear the story or not? [chuckling] Come on, lie down. [] MAN (reading): Menda... Menda-Ro... Menda Rotran Carno Matron. Menda Rotran Carno Matron. Menda Rotran Carno Matron. Menda Rotran Carno Matron. [loud boom] Summer? Menda Rotran Carno Matron... Vytal Krank Overt Mantron. Vytal Krank... Overt Mantron. [loud boom] [] [rumbling] Oh, damn. [loud crash] [rumbling] [clock chimes] [rumbling] Daddy? Summer! [scream] [animal roaring] [clock ticking] [clock chimes] [chimes slow down] [machines beeping] [indistinct voices] Her body might not take the strain. It's still in its testing phase. [girl whimpering] What if she dies? [indistinct voices continue] [rapid beeping] WOMAN (annoyed): Earth to sleeping beauty! You coming or what? MAN: You know... It's not so much that women are evil... it's not. It's just that men... ...as in, me... men. Well, we've gotten soft. We are a society of men raised by women and we're a bunch of pussies. Pardon my language. I mean look at me. I'm sitting here and I'm staring at the ring I gave my high school sweetheart and I'm damn near tears. It's really pathetic. And I bet you're wondering what I'm doing with it. Well, my high school sweetheart decided we were finished... so she packaged up the ring and she sent it to me in the mail. No explanationay! Just a sparkling ring in a clean white envelope. Now you tell me... Is that fucked up or what? Yeah, that's fucked up. I want you to have it. Before I give this to you, I want you to remember something. Every time you look at this ring I want you to remember something... One day you're going to meet someone special. And you guys are going to have a lot of good times and a lot of good memories... And then one day you're going to think... you're going to be wrong, but you're going to think it... I wonder if there is someone else out there for me, I wonder if I deserve better? And I want you to remember that you don't. You don't deserve better. Okay? You got that? I'm sorry, I'm rambling. I'm sure somebody out there said a helluva lot better than I just said it. Probably like Shakespeare. Or Kevin Smith. Oooh, Nickelback... But it hurts, man. You know, it really hurts. Take the ring. And remember what I told you, okay? Give me my ring back. [] [] I told you so didn't I? What? I tried to warn you. I tried to warn you, but nobody listens to Ricky. Can we just drop it? What a whore. Oh dude, it's still fresh. What a bitch? Better. You're going to feel really silly, when we get back together though. Are you serious? That's sad. That's very sad. Shut up. Please. I thought you said there were going to be models. There's models. They're inside. Well, let's go in. I'm tired, man. I'm taking a break. You're taking a break? What is it that you do that you need to take a break from? See that's the thing... Working with models, it's harder than it looks. I mean... They bitch, they complain, they eat like pigs. You wouldn't think it looking at them, but they're machinges, man... they eat everything before I even get a chance to-- And don't do that. Do what? Judge. Don't judge me. Are you done? Yeah, I'm done. Can we go in now? Let's go. [] Yeah, real hard work Ricky. Don't judge. Hi, Ricky. You shoot porn, man... Keep it down, man. There's no pornography going around here... do you see anything here that even resembles pornography, because I don't. This is a commercial shoot for a chat line service; a legitimate business with legitimate requirements. And one of those requirements just so happens to be a very pretty lady, dressed provocatively pretending to talk on the phone. Why? Why Ricky? I knew you'd ask. To entice the viewer watching at home to pick up the phone and call the number that will appear at the bottom of their screen. And sure it caters to the male, 18 to 35 year old demographic but that's neither here nor there. There is nothing pornographic about it... All right? Sorry dude. Hey Christy... can you... lube those tits up a little bit for me please? Sure Ricky. Thanks, you're the best. Besides, the money's not nearly as good. Whatever you say, dude. Don't judge. Christy...you ready to make some magic? Ricky, what's my motivation? Motivation? I don't know. Like, why am I doing what I'm doing? Yeah, I'm aware of what motivation means, thanks. The phone isn't even plugged in. Aren't people going to notice? You're right, dude. This is hard work. Fuck you. Annnnnnd ACTION! [cell phone rings] (mouthing) Sorry. Sorry. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hey Marlene. Is she coming? Good to hear from you too. I'm doing fine thanks for asking. I'm sorry Marlene. How are you? Well,yesterday in Yoga, there was-- Is she coming? Well, it just so happen you're in luck. I was able to convince your lovely ex-fiance to join us on your little camping trip. [mouthing words] Are you sure? I'm pretty sure. I'm staring at her right now. Does she look pretty? You know she does. How did you manage to get her to come? Well, let's just say that I have my ways. Thank you so much. Marlene... I owe you. I owe you. No. No, you really don't. No, I really appreciate... Hello? Hello? [giggling] [] I don't understand how you could be so mean to Jason. Renee? Jesus, you scared me. When you called you said something about weird dreams that you were having. Nightmares. The same ones over and over again. For how long? Well... Ever since I've been coming here. Please, describe your dream. Well... I'm strapped to a table and there are these weird... Things. I can't really explain it. But they're watching me. And they're doing these tests on me. What kind of tests? Sounds like an S&M dream to me. That's hot. It felt so real. Is there anything else you can remember about your dream? Any details about your surroundings? Anything at all... No. I'm sorry... What do you suppose it means? Why is it happening to me? Renee, when you first came into this store, I could see there was something special about you. You're in touch with an energy, a spirituality if you will.. I don't know how to say this... But there are some people, like you, who are windows to the infinite possibilities. And there are others... ...who are more like doors. Thick and wooden doors. Do you think I'm tapped into another world? Maybe. Or it could be nothing more than a dream. But it seemed so real. I did say that the dark arts shouldn't be taken lightly. Maybe you're just not ready for this level of magiks. Maybe we should scale back-- No, I know I'm ready for the next step... Trust me I'm ready. I'm sure I'm ready. Listen... Remember that place you were telling me about. Well, we'd like to try a seance. That girl that went missing years ago... Her name was Summer. Well, we'd like to try and contact her. Any suggestions? Renee... I'm ready. Big book. Top shelf. But Renee... You gotta be careful. Contacting the other side-- Thanks. You've always been a great teacher... God Renee, why are we even doing here? Everything's so goddamn old. We're in a used bookstore Jasmine. What do you expect? I don't get it. Can't you get something new? If you want the goods you've got to get the real-deal. I'm too short. I got it. Just reach up here. Stop it. Aren't you guys taking this new age lesbian witch thing a bit too far? I'm bi. Since when? Since two weeks ago. What can I say? I'm a witch. More like a sexy bitch if you ask me. 'Cause that's the way you like me. Hey, wait... It has an inscription. "To my dearest, Vincent. Yours forever, Maria." How sweet. Yeah. Ain't love grand. They're probably divorced by now. Nice, Jasmine. Nice. Sixteen-fifty please. Renee, listen... Your friends think you're playing a game, these aren't toys... If you're not careful, you're all in for a whole different world of hurt. If this book is as dangerous as you say it is, then why the hell are you selling it to us? I need the money. Oh, and my life to you is worth sixteen dollars? Whatever, old man. Actually I said you were all in danger. That works out to five dollars a piece. [giggling] Oh... the map. I almost forgot. I'm going to need a map to get to this place. There you go. So this place... It has a lot of energy to it. Powerful energy. You'll feel it. I guarantee it. Perfect. Thanks. No... Thank you. [indistinct voices] VOICE: She has reacted well to our initial tests. The isotopes are integrating with her DNA. Shall I continue? VOICE: Do it. [] [] I've got a good feeling about this, buddy... [tuning radio] Just pick a station! Just need a moment alone with her. Get things back on track. Are you sure you're reading her right? I mean, I think she made it pretty clear. We've been through hell and back together. You mean high school? We can get through this too. If you say so. [] Yeehoo! [] [] Does he even suspect? Not even a little. You are sooooo evil. Oh yeah. Oh Jason... Oh yeah! Oh, you're so good! Yeah! Don't stop! Right there! Oh! Jason! [] Please don't let there be bears. Please don't let there be bears. What do you think you're doing? I was going to go talk to Jasmine. No you weren't. -I wasn't? -No. What you're going to do is give her some time and let things happen naturally. Naturally. Yeah... That sounds good, all right. Yeah. When the time is right. Okay, thanks Marlene. I appreciate it. Hey. Naturally. [indistinct noises] [water dripping throughout] [chains clanging] [mechanical noises] [heavy door shuts] VOICE: The test begins now. [siren starts] [animal growling] [woman screaming] [] [] Hey! Lover Boy! A little help! Sorry. Sorry. If you stare any harder you're going to burn a hole right through her. Is it that obvious? She doesn't deserve you. You know that, right? Does anyone deserve anything? BOTH: Yes! You treated this girl like gold. No pussy can be that good. No offense. High school sweethearts, Rick. My parents were high school sweethearts and they made it work. Why should it be any different with us? I know we can make this work. I love her. And that's all that matters. And what if she doesn't love you? Pass me that spike, Rick? Are you guys almost done? When are we going to party? Pass me a beer. Thanks. Cheers. [] [] [] Do you think they are watching? Of course. Help me out. Dude. [] I know. No. You don't know. You put a telephone in her hand and a 900 number across her ass... We make billions. 'Ricky get off me, I can't breathe...' ...and she said 'are you sure that's not a telephone in your pants?' And I was like... no way, baby. That's all Ricky! That's all Ricky right there! [laughter] I don't believe that... You don't believe it? That's crazy. It's the truth. I swear to God it's the truth. Damn that's funny. Good times. Good times. So, I'm not the only one, who else has got a story? I do. You got one boy-scout? Yeah, I've got an embarrassing story. Let's hear it. I'll try my best. Jasmine, you might remember this one. It's when Jasmine was staying at her all girl residency... Jason... No! Sounds juicy! And she wasn't allowed to have guests... let alone a male guest wandering the halls un-escorted... On this particular morning Jasmine had gone to class already and she locked me in the room, alone, obviously. And do you ever have one of those mornings where you've got to go to the bathroom really bad? Really bad. Well, this was one of those mornings. And uh... I didn't want to get her in trouble and try and get out of the room and wander the halls, she's going to get in trouble. So what do I do? I grab an empty plastic water bottle. Oh snap! You didn't. I did, dude, and that's not the half of it. I mean, I had the morning wood as well. So, there I am, strategically placing the head of my penis into this water bottle, and I start pissing. And I think I'm in the free and clear and I've got this thing beat but then, all of a sudden, my hand starts burning because my piss is so hot. I'm sitting there going [high-pitched shreik] ...like, and the water bottle... my piss is so hot... that the, the... plastic of the water bottle... is like, melting... So there I am... [shreiking noise] And I don't want to drop it because I'll get piss all over Jasmine's floor, right? [laughing, words unclear] Come on! What? That's gross. Dude... Don't ever tell that story again. -Dude I-- -Ah-ah! No! Ever again. [chuckling] Ever. I thought it was funny. And on that note... Okay my little witches... let's get witching. It's about time. So, Jasmine... We'll talk later, right? Sure Jay. Later. -Cool. -We'll talk. Cool. I have a good feeling about this. [animal roaring in distance] [] [door opens, siren starts] [chain clanging] [] [] Vicnam Hochac... Vicnam Hochac... [stumbling over words] [chuckling] Are you even pronouncing that right? I don't know. I think so. This sucks. Hold on. I'll find another one. [sigh] What's that? I don't know. It looks like a translation of a passage, spelled out phonetically. What's it for? I don't know. -Only one way to find out. -Hey! Give me that. Menda Rotran Carno Matron! Vytal Krank Overt Mantron! It's only going to work if we're all saying it together. Come on... ALL: Menda Rotran Carno Matron... Vytal Krank Overt Mantron! I think we contacted a cricket. I think we read it wrong. For all we know it's Polish for "this book is a waste of time". Summer Vale... We are calling you... If you're out there... Show us yourself. Contact us by making a noise. Ooooooooo... Reneeeeeee.... [girls laughing] Forget it. This witch stuff sucks. Well... what are we going to do instead? Come on Renee. Aren't you even the least bit curious? Yeah, Renee. It'll be fun. You know... the power of three and all that crap. Sorry girls... call me old fashioned, but I likes me the penis. What on earth for? And you call yourself a witch. [giggling] Don't wait up. [laughing] Menda Rotran Carno Matron... Matron Krank Overt Mantron. [sigh] Forget it... [siren starts] [siren dies down] [man breathing heavily] [] VOICE ON INTERCOM: The knife. Pick it up. [] VOICE: This is the spawn of the Kellipoth. It will kill you if you do not kill it first. [] [] [] [struggling, grunting] [] [struggling, grunting] [] [struggling, grunting] [struggling, grunting] [struggling, grunting] [struggling, grunting] [] [] You're being quiet again. Oh... Sorry. Guess I've been thinking. It's just... You ever just know when something is right. It's in your gut! Yeah, yeah. Sure thing buddy. I'm talking about destiny. Jasmine and I were meant for each other. I know that wherever we are in the world, no matter what I'm doing... When I look up at the moon... I know that she's looking up at that same moon with me. [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] At some point you have to put your trust in Ricky, and realizing what I'm saying is the truth. Whatever dude. I mean, it's like the old saying goes, there's so many more hot fish in the sea. I know Ricky, I know. Oh, hey Renee. So where's Jasmine... ...and Marlene? They're having a moment. Are they coming? Probably as we speak. Any luck with the voodoo? No. Nothing. Not even a-- [loud boom] What the hell was that? Sounded like thunder. That's weird. I didn't even see any rain clouds. [] [] [monster breathing heavily] We should go and see if Jasmine's okay. Marlene's out there too. You're right. Jasmine must be scared. If there's going to be a storm we should-- Hey! They'll be fine... Let's just go back and sit-- [scream] Jasmine? Jasmine! Jasmine? Jasmine! Jasmine? Jasmine! -Jasmine! -Jason! Marlene! Jason, over here! Marlene! Over here! Oh my god... Oh god! Jasmine! Oh my god! What happened? Jasmine was bitten by something and I don't know what. Jason please, we need to help her. I love her. I know. So do I. Jasmine... Ricky! Get over here! What happened? She was attacked. Stay back guys, give her some air. Was it a bear? Are we trespassing... Bears are territorial, right? No. It wasn't a bear. Look at that bite. Look at that bite. I'm pretty sure it had to be a bear. It wasn't a goddamn bear! There, there Jasmine. It's going to be okay. Jason? Jason, what happened? Last thing I remembered was Marlene and I-- Shhhhhh. Save your strength. Save your strength. We've got to get out of here. We've got to get her to a hospital. There's not a hospital for miles. Ummmm... Guys? Are your cell phones working? Cause mine is dead. As in no signal? No... As in dead. No signal. No power. Mine too. Mine's not working either. Okay. What are we going to do? We need to think of something quick. We need to think of something. Okay. We need a plan. Obviously, there's something dangerous out there so we should stay by the fire and hopefully it will stay far enough away. Hopefully? I'm sorry dude. I'm not sticking around while some vengeful bear picks us all off one by one. Bears don't work like that. Thanks forest ranger. How the hell do you know? It wasn't a goddamn bear! Okay, we'll just get in our cars and go home. We'll take Jasmine with us. And we'll take her to the hospital. Any objections? Renee? No. Marlene? Marlene? [laboured breathing] [quiet growling] [scream] [quiet growling] [quiet growling] I won't let you hurt her. [gasping] [metal clanging] [loud battlecry] [] [] [loud battlecry] [] Who are you? [loud battlecry] [animal squealing] Jason. Jason, wake up. Jasmine. Yes, darling. It's me. Oh, Jasmine... What happened? You took a nasty bump to the head. But it's okay... I'll take care of you. Everything's going to be just fine. I thought we lost you. Never, I'll always be there for you. Oh, Jason... Oh, Jasmine... Jason... who is this bitch and why aren't you fantasizing about me? Jason, wake up man, wake up! Huh, what? What's going on? Holy shit Jay! We're screwed! -Calm down. -CALM DOWN?! Let me catch you up to speed, little buddy! We are dead! Your girlfriend has been attacked, now she's bleeding all over the place. Marlene's been ripped in half. And to top it all off, the car engines... They're all dead too. Damn it. What? How do you know that? Huh? How do you know that? How do you know the car engines are dead? I tried them all, man. I tried them all. We're not going anywhere. What do you mean you tried them all? Ricky, you were going to take us with you, right? Screw you, man! Screw you! There's a monster out there... Okay... okay... Cool cool. Where's Renee? I don't know. Haven't seen her since the attack. I think it got her too. How long have I been out? Half hour? Are you sure Jasmine's okay? Hey, yeah. I've been watching over both of you. She's bleeding. I patched her up, but she's fighting. She fighting. Hey, hey, hey... I put Marlene's body in the trunk though. Why? So it wouldn't attract the animals. Good. Good thinking. Did you see her? -Huh? -The girl. She had the swords. She was doing like the Hiya stuff... It was incredible. You would have remembered her if you had seen her. Hey! You're hallucinating, man. You're hallucinating. Get a grip. Yeah, yeah you're probably right. We should go look for her though. Look for who? Renee. We should look for Renee. Yeah. Listen, hey... I'll stay here and look after Jasmine. But you should go. Okay. And if that thing comes back, you start yelling and I'll start running. To come help right? Of course. To come help. [quietly] Renee? Renee? Ren-- [] [quietly] Dammit. [] FATHER: My dearest Summer, why aren't you in bed? Daddy...? Where the hell is she going? [] [] [] [] [door opening] [distant clock chiming] Sorry, I was look-- ...looking for a friend. You are real. And you're a man. Are you a prince? A prince...? No, I'm Jason. Prince Jason? No... Just Jason. Oh. Well then, Just Jason... I am Princess Summer Vale. Huntress of Demons... Warrior of Worlds. The Scourge... of the Sinful. And what may I ask are you doing in my bedroom? Your bedroom? This is YOUR bedroom? Yes... At one point it was... I can't believe I'm back. Back? From where? A world very different from this one. One of magic and mystery and... It's a long story. That's okay. I like stories. Good... ...Just Jason. Me too. You've been fighting those things since you were a little girl? I have been fighting them for as long as I can remember. Are there others like you where you come from? Like me? No. I am the only Princess. And the monsters? The Kelippoth. Of the Sitra Achra. There are hundreds where I come from. Jesus Christ, how did you ever survive? By the grace of God. My father. Who art in heaven. Holy is his name. Thy... Thy... Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done? You know the words? Yes. You will teach the words to me? You will help me remember the words of my father? Yes. You are a prince. Just Jason... At your service. Summer, I need your help with something. I don't understand. Are you not a man? Well, yeah... Then why would you need my help? Um... okay... you mean like a man-man. How do I say this? I'm still very much into the ladies, but also in touch with my sensitive side... you know like hair products... things like this. Okay... I need your help. Getting back to it, I'm looking for someone. Her name is Renee and she-- [loud commotion] Oh my God! What's wrong? Make it stop! How? Summer, please. Tell me how to help you. Whatever's doing this to me is outside. Follow the river... Okay... Okay. I'm going to go find whatever's doing this to you and I'm going to make it stop. Please Jason. Help me. I will. I promise. I'll be right back. [loud cry] [woman crying] Renee? Are you okay? I did this. It's all my fault. It's all my fault. What are you talking about? I was stupid. I'm so sorry. Marlene... Oh my God, Marlene! She's dead... That thing ripped her apart! Renee... calm down. It's alright. It's alright... It's alright? Marlene's okay? No... Marlene is still dead. But... Oh my God... Renee, you have to tell me what the hell is going on. The girls and I... We were just fooling around. We wanted to do some magic. We wanted to talk to a little dead girl. And instead we brought that monster here. We brought him here, Jason! Do you hear me? We brought him here! Little dead girl? Summer Vale. She died twenty years ago. Are you sure? Oh Jason, what are we going to do? Is this the book? Yeah, and I thought that if I read from it I could send the monster back to wherever it came from. The Kellipoth. The what? Come on. We have to go. Go where? Let's go. You can't read from this book anymore, okay. You're hurting her. Hurting who? What are you talking about? Summer. Summer Vale. She's not dead. She's... in the bed. We... And then she... Let me show you. There is a girl Renee, you have to believe me. She's right... She was right here. Jason... RICK: I always consider myself to be a manly guy. I work out regular. Enjoy the odd porn. Work hard. Play hard. Figured that when push came to shove, I'd stand up. Stay strong. [sigh] Be a hero. [twig snaps, loon calls] Jay? Renee? Anybody? Ricky, keep it together man. [sigh] Some hero you turned out to be. [groan] Jasmine! Hey... Hey... We were worried sick about you. Jason? No. It's Ricky. Here... Try to sit up. Drink some water. Thanks Ricky. Yeah. You okay? Ricky... Yeah? I'm hot. Oh my god, Summer! Please... Don't hurt me. Please God... She must pay for what she's done to me. Princess... Please... She didn't know what she was doing. And evidently neither do I. I'm sorry... I didn't know... I thought you were dead. We were given a book and told we could contact a little girl who died years ago. Who gave you the book? Yeah... Who gave you the book, Renee? Tell her who gave you the book! A man who runs a bookstore. He gave it to me. He told me everything! I swear. Oh god, please. I'm so sorry. You okay? [] [] It was my father's book. This was my father's study... Are you sure? There's an inscription... From my mother. He was translating a passage when... Princess... what happened? I can not remember. I can not remember anything... I am Princess Summer Vale. Huntress of... Warrior of... Warrior of Worlds. Scourge of the Sinful. Thank you. You're welcome. We're gonna figure this whole thing out Princess. Summer! I think I know what's going on. My dreams and everything. How dare you speak to me like a common peasant! Disrespectful. I apologize for her stupidity. Your Highness. I believe I have dreamt of you before. Yeah... Me too. What kind of dreams? Yeah, Renee... what kind of dreams? Well, they weren't dreams at all. They were your lost memories. I was hand picked to make contact with you. There is some connection between us. Tell me what you know. They ran tests on you. And they were torturing you. I can not remember... I can not remember that. I mean... What do you remember, Princess? I remember I was being chased. Then there was a bright flash and... The next thing I remember was saving your life from the Kellipoth. Have I thanked you for that yet? I don't think so. Thank you. And before that? Before that... I... Why can't I remember? Princess... Let me try to help you remember. Thank you. Now give me your hands. And close your eyes... [clatter] Jason! Sorry. Carry on. Summer... Listen to the sound of my voice. You are in a safe place. It is only us... And we are one... [indistinct voices] [battlecry] Yours forever, Maria. A noise. Daddy! Summer! [scream] Daddy... Help! Noooooooo! Daddy... Summer... I'm so sorry. It will work. We can send us back. What? I know... We can't send you back. You don't even know what happened to you! I know enough. Renee, what is she talking about? We go back to the campsite and arm ourselves with whatever we can find. We read from the book, open the portal, and send the demon back. It's going to work. Then what? Then we make our final stand. [loud scream] Summer! Renee... Stop it! I'm not doing anything! My back. There's something's in my back. It hurts. What's inside of me? There's something's under your skin. It's glowing. Cut it out. You have to cut it out of me! -Do it! -Okay. Oh, Ricky... Thanks for taking care of me. You're such a big, strong man. No problem Jazzy. Anything for a friend. You know that. Look at these things... I'll bet you could hold a woman down if you wanted to. Yeah, I probably could. And she couldn't get up even if she wanted to. Umm... Jazzy... I-- Ricky... Make love to me. This is crazy. Do it! This is really going to hurt, though. Get it out of me! Okay. Hold her down. [groaning, stifled cries] Did you get it yet? Not quite. Wow. It's in there really good... AUUUUUUGH! Give me that. Got it. You okay? Wow. It's a tracking device. Wait! Who's tracking you? I think we both know. Never-mind. Dammit. That was intense. I don't know about you two, but I could use a breath of fresh air. Jason... Yeah? It's behind me, isn't it? Run! I shouldn't. Come on, stop! We shouldn't do this. You're my best friend's girl. Please stop. Ricky... I want you to pin me down... And I want you to fuck me. Let's roll. Renee, wait! Wait! What? Where's Summer? How the hell should I know? We've got to go back for her. Jason... That thing is after us! Summer can take care of herself. She saved my life. I have to go back. I'm a man, Renee. Since when? It's a new thing. I'm... Trying it out. You brought this demon here. We owe this to her. Okay. Fine. Let's go. Okay, let's go. [growling] Jason... Are you sure you know what you're doing? No. Not really. [battlecry] Thank you. Oh shit. -Nooooo! -Jason! My axe! [grunting] We must go. That won't keep it down for long. Stop. You think we lost it? No. It will heal itself. It will keep coming. Are you bitten? No... Not even a scratch. Good. Or else as much as it would pain me to do so, I would have to kill you. Kill me? Why? Summer... What happens if you're bitten? It's how the Kellipoth reproduces. Once you are bitten, you become its spawn. Part of the Kingdom of Shells. BOTH: Jasmine. Yeah, oh baby! I want your seed. What? Did you just say you want my seed? I'm not really ready for kids, and under the circumstances, your my best friend's girl, there's a monster... You're all bloody... I figured it was just about a couple people blowing off some steam... not planned parenthood... Silence. Woah... Everybody stop. What's the problem, Jason? The problem... Princess... Is that we are heading back to the campsite to kill a dear friend of mine. Someone I care for a great deal. You still care for this Jasmine, more than her? Yes. I still... It must be done. It must be done. I still love her. Is this true? Damn it Jay. How blind do you have to be? Jasmine doesn't love you. Maybe she did once, but she doesn't anymore. God, sometimes guys can be so blind. But we're soulmates, Renee. Dammit, Jay! She doesn't love you! Okay... Jasmine and Marlene have been screwing behind your back for months now. I'm sorry what? They are lesbians. And they have been laughing at you this entire time. We should have told you earlier. Sorry. Who else knows about this? Just me... I swear. Pass me the axe. I do not understand. You will explain it to me? Women... [moaning] Ricky! Get away from her! Woah. Jay, Dude. I'm so sorry. It just happened. It just happened. Ricky! Now I'm going to have to kill you. But I said I was sorry. Ricky, did Jasmine bite you? No... Why? [roar] What the hell? She's a lesbian. Could have fooled me. [roar] She fooled me too. And now she has to die. What the hell is going on? [roar] Can you guys give me a second alone with her? Jason, are you sure you want to do this? Please. Who the hell are you supposed to be? [roaring] [roaring] Well... here we are. [roaring] Before I kill you though... I want you to be honest with me. Just once. [roaring] Did you ever love me? All those times that we held each other until the sun rose... What the hell did that mean to you, Jasmine? [roaring] Come on Jasmine, I know you're in there somewhere. Just tell me... What happened with us? Where did we go wrong? Jason... Poor Jason... We were high school sweethearts... We were kids... And every time I looked at you, I saw how small my life was. I gave you everything I had. Yeah... But then I turned twenty-three... What do you see now, Jasmine? A man. That's right, baby. But not just a man. A man with an axe. You can turn back now. [roaring] [battlecry] You think he's okay? [screaming] Hey, Jay.. Are you okay? [shouting] I'm...oh...kay... He's okay. [] So let me get this straight... Renee's going to try and reopen the portal to the dimension that the demon came from. Jay and Summer are going to force the demon back into the portal... And what exactly is it that Ricky's doing? We have gone over this. You know what you're doing, Ricky. Let me say it out loud so it sticks. I'm the bait? You got it. Balls to that. You're a man. Be a man. What the hell is that supposed to mean? You're so tough... Why don't you do it? Because I need to make sure that the Demon goes back into the portal. None of you can go head to head with it. Fine. What about her? I can read some stupid magic trick! Why don't you do it? Because the second I turn my back you screw my girlfriend. She was a demon! You didn't know that at the time. Please... It was so obvious. And yet you still screwed her. She was an incredible witch. Crazy powers. Ricky, you can do this. I don't know if I can... We got to move on this. And if you're not going to go... Then I will. I'll go. Wait. Wait. I'll do it. I'll go. For once in my life I'll be the hero. Wish me luck. Good luck. Good luck. Go with God. She has to say 'go with God'. Shit. Do you think he'll make it? He has to. Oh boy. Are we gonna do this or what? Hello? Mister demon? Ricky here. The guy from the camp... Yeah, I think we can work something out... Just don't sneak up on me, okay? I just want to-- [nonsensical cry] [sigh] Oh shit... [loud scream] Sounds like your friend has failed. You know what that means. Yup. My turn. Good luck. Thanks. If I don't come back... You will. Run fast. Like the wind. But if I don't, I just wanted to say... thank you. For what? For just Jason. Good-bye my princess. You know... He's really sweet-- He's coming! He's coming! Start reading. Menda Rotran Carno Matron... [suspenseful music throughout] Are you ready? Atta-- [screaming] Oh shit. [pained cries] ...Carno Matron... Renee... Read faster! Menda Rotran Carno Matron... Vytal Krank Overt Matron. Guys, I think it's working. [pained cry] Hey! Over here! Come and get me! Renee! [cracking bones] No! Damn you! [groaning] [cracking bones] [battlecry] I'll kill you! [] [thumping, groaning] [groaning] [silence] SUMMER: That was the last time I saw him... ...Jason, my prince... my savior. What he did for me... His sacrifice meant that I could have a new life. A life in this world. A world without monsters. A world full of hope... A world full of infinite possibilities... That was almost year ago. Since then, I have found nothing more about my lost memories... Nothing more about those who tortured and trained me to be an ultimate killing machine. What I have realized is that this world is not so different than the one I grew up in. It is a world with different demons... Different monsters... And different battles... MAN: Summer, could you be a doll and arch your back a bit for me? Play to the camera? You know... playful. Sure Andrew. Whatever you say. Playful. Thanks doll. You look great. Thank you. SUMMER: But one day my prince will come. And we will live happily ever-- [loud rumble and crackling] [suspenseful music] Summer... Jason... I need your help. Wow, you look really good. Thanks... So do you. What happened? How did you-- I can't stop it. It's adapted... Jason, what are you saying? Summer... it's coming... And it's not alone. [growling] [loud thunder] [] I love you. I love you. [] [] Summer Vale: Codename Princess... We're here to help. Darling... Hand me my axe. [] |
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