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Dating Daisy (2016)
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[Zach] I don't understand why I can't do Thanksgiving at your house this year again. [Michael] Dude, this is a totally codependent relationship, you need to have your own life, man. [Zach] I don't want to go to my family's house. My mom's got that new church she goes to where they're speaking in tongues... it's weird. Dude. Oh, you packed your towels. You packed your sex towels. Dude, they are not sex towels. They are towels. They're a general multipurpose tool. Oh, bullshit. I know what those towels are for, and I also know what I heard in there. That chick is assigned to the most memorable ringtone this side of the Mason-Dixon, and I don't know what's more pathetic... the fact that I know that or the fact that you never changed it, you big dork. I don't know what you're talking about. Road trippin' with your ex, dude. Okay, and for two, I don't reassign ringtones. Bullshit. Yeah, you do. - No, I don't. No. - Yeah, you do. So, you're saying that if we stop being - best friend business partners... - Whoa, BFBPs for life. That if I called you ten years from now, I would still be Elton John's Tiny Dancer. Yeah. Tight. F O B D [cell phone vibrating] F O B D Oh, I knew it, I knew it. Hey, you. Dude, her car broke down. I would do it for anyone. Last time my car broke down, you didn't do shit for me. - It's over, dude. - Uh-huh. When are you gonna propose to her? Damn it, Zach. You're actually gonna wait five minutes after you see her, so it's not complete desperate? Not gonna happen. [Zach] Are you gonna, like, get on top of your car? - No. - Top of a hill? - No. - People are always proposing on the top of things. Dude, I'm driving her up, that is it. - Do you need a flash mob? - No, I don't need a flash mob. - I can get you a flash mob. - I do not need a flash mob. [engine turning over] You drive away, this is the end of all things. Okay, bye. [Zach groans] Buddy, okay, I have groomsman experience... specifically best man. Don't do this. Shit! Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh I've never been the kind of girl Who sat around and wondered what could've been I'm too damn busy getting mine I've never been the kind of girl Ranked by my endless beauty My jeans are ripped, no makeup on Don't give a shh Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh I've never been the kind of girl Who kept my secrets secret When talking in my sleep I always let it out I've never been the kind of girl Who had a mild opinion With too much wine, I'll speak my mind You'll never hear me apologize Hey. Hey. Hey, babe, take everything I'll give it to you This is the best of me You got the best of me Hey, babe, love every day And we'll be okay This is the best of me This is the best of me And I'm telling you That this is who I am That's everything Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh Hey, babe, love every day And we'll be okay This is the best of me And all I can do Is keep giving it to you [Spanish dance music] [chuckles] What? We're gonna have to stop, like, 10 times before you finish that thing. - I know. - I'm gonna set a lap timer. Shut up. [both laugh] Thank you, though. Um, thank you for driving. It's cool. You've obviously been reading those books that I got you... that's really cool. Yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, I checked out... the... the one Wayne Dyer one. God, that book, like, changed my life. I mean, it's transformational, right? Uh, yeah, I mean... It's got some good stuff in there. With your business, it's totally thriving, are you doing those, like... are you doing the abundance prayers or, like, the mantras? Um... Yeah, I mean, I think it's more about just the work that I'm actually putting in. Well, right, yeah, but I mean, like, on a subconscious level, like, you're drawing this success in this area towards yourself, like, it's really inspiring and... Yeah, I'm thinking about it, but... Yeah, but you're thinking about it, and those beliefs are, like, showing up in your life, I'm really proud of you. That's awesome. Thank you. I've been doing a lot of abundance work myself, too, so, like, I really feel like soon, you know, something is gonna... Well, I mean, at a certain point, you have to kind of be results-oriented to work toward... like, actually work toward a thing. Sorry. It's cool. You'll find something, Dais. I promise. [cell phone vibrating] ["Ride Of The Valkyries" by Richard Wagner"] - Do you need some help? - No, I'm fine. - Okay, yeah, can you, please? - Yeah. You want me to put my hand in your pocket? Like, you want me to put this hand in this, like, here? - Would you just... - Is it in here? Yes. Okay. Um... "Hi, baby, can you please pick up some extra pasta salad and wine before you come?" Yep. Do you want me to tell your mom that you're dropping me off first? [chuckling] Oh. She still hates me. Great. She doesn't hate you. I used to have these dreams that your family was Filipino, and your mom was asking me to make a ceremonial tea in the kitchen by spitting into a communal pot. My throat was so dry every time. Yeah. [chuckles] Don't be mean. Okay, okay. It was a lot of pressure. Okay. Sorry. She's a lot. [Michael] She is. Do you want the rest of this? Yeah. [woman] We turned our back [laughing] Oh, my God. You got it, you got it. Yeah, a little more? It's right there, yeah. Thank you. It's good, though, seeing you, just... Being cool. Yeah. Yeah, cool. [Michael and Daisy moaning] [Michael] Okay, okay, slow down. Slow down. Slow down. Oh, God, yeah. [moaning continues] Hey, wait, what are you doing? Breathing it up my spine. [inhales deeply] Michael. Wait, Michael, Michael, I can't. Just look at me, look at me in the eyes. - You can look at me, baby. - Please, no. Oh, my God. [Michael groaning] I said slow down. That was necessary. Totally necessary. Are you kidding? Oh, God, it's everywhere. Oh, fuck. Oh, it better not be on my pants. I have towels. [both laughing] [rock music] [Daisy] Okay, no, I got it. Yeah. I got it, I need it I can't wait to see it I got it, I need it I can't wait to see it I can't wait No, I can't wait, no I can't wait To see Your light Yeah Go Okay, there she is. [Daisy] Hey, Mom. Hi. Oh, my gosh, look who it is. [Michael grunts] Oh, come here. [Michael] Hi, Donna. [Donna] Come here. Happy Thanksgiving. It's been six months since I saw you, oh, my gosh, and you didn't say a thing. Mom, he just drove me up. Oh, well, that's great. Well, come on in. What are you waiting for? Honey, come on. Oh, I've got so much to cook. Got the greatest food. You're gonna love it. See who's here. Michael, hey, I didn't know you were coming. Did you know he was coming? [Grandpa] Precious. Hi, Grandpa. Hey, you said you were coming yesterday. - I know. I'm sorry. - I've been looking at your Facebook post. I've even applied for your video game's beta. You what? I used to play "Oregon Trail." [chuckles] Seriously, I'm really proud of you, I think it's terrific what you're doing. So tell me about this startup. You got some momentum. You have the financing. What's going on? Um, yeah. We, uh... we got it, actually. Well, I... That's awesome. My dad cut... This is cause for celebration. How about some sparkling cider? No, no, I got to drive. I can't get too crazy. That's not funny. Dad, seriously? Daisy, I'm so happy you got the time off, I knew you would, honey. Here you go. I'll have it later. I got to change and wash off. [both] Okay. Well, wait, your dad broke the sink knob, so I put a wrench in there for you. Come on, I'll show you how it works. - I'll take your bags up. - Thanks. So you just take hold of this, give it a turn, and turn it that way. That's great. Ta-da! You got it, no problem. See you later. [giggles] Thanks, Grandpa. [chuckles] Hey. - Hey, Liz. - Hi. - Oh, no, what happened? - I know. Skiing. Oh... - Yeah. - Yeah. - She's still in the bathroom? - Yeah. [whispering] It's really good to see you guys together... or whatever it is. Sorry. That's fine. That's fine. Yeah. No, we, um... we saw each other last week by accident. I was in a coffee shop and looked up from my laptop and nearly had a heart attack. [chuckles] And then her car's radiator blew up. Of course. Of course. So she called me about coming up and... There you go. Yeah. But I know where I am, you know? [whispering] It's like the last time we talk about this shit... [Daisy] Hey, guys. - Hi. - Hey. Um... I'll see you guys back downstairs. It's freezing. [Michael] I know. Hey, that's okay. [both sigh] This place turns me 15 again. [chuckles] I always liked your room. My room in Cambodia was bare walls. I was never home. I miss my students. Here, I'm always the kid. You look pretty grown up to me. You know what I found the other day? Hmm? Your Boba Fett toothbrush. - You kept that? - [laughs] I put it in my "us" box with all of your sweet little things. I still have that wack painting you made of me on our mushroom trip. [both laughing] Never again. You needed it. I didn't realize it then, but I came up with the name for my company that night. I'm so freaking proud of you. [somber music] I don't know how to tell you just how good that is to hear. I love you. You can't be saying shit like that. Why? Why is there this unwritten rule that you're allowed to be honest, but I'm not? I still think about us sometimes, okay? And I know it's black and white for you, and... I understand why, but it's, um... It's not like that for me. But if it's not serious for you... [chuckles] I don't think we'd be here again if it wasn't serious. If we ever got back together... That would have to be it, like, 100% it, and if that's not where you're at... If there's one thing you taught me is that I deserve to be happy in my job, and I don't know where or what that's gonna be, but that doesn't mean that I don't love you... Or that I don't see us ending up together. I know I can't ask you to wait for me, but... You are, though. Happy Thanksgiving. [Liz] Yeah, Happy Thanksgiving. [sighs] [birds chirping] Hey, little baby boy! There he is! Oh, I missed you so much! - Oh, I'm so glad you're here. - Hey, hey, get in here. Look at this guy. Welcome home. Sweetie, you are late, late, late. - Sorry, sorry. - It's okay, it's okay. Oh, good. Oh, what is this now? - What? - Nothing, nothing. We'll put this in the fridge or something. No, no, no, you handle this, honey. Michael's got to go freshen up. You have a clean shirt? Company's already sitting down. - [Michael] Company? - [Mom] Yeah. Hi, sweetie. - Do you remember me? - Ana. - Yeah. Hi. - Yeah. Hi. Oh, my goodness. Ele, he's grown up so handsome. Isn't he, though? Look at that face. Hi. Oh, get over here. This is my daughter, Samira. Michael, say hello. - Hi. - Hi. So Ana's your mom? You're her daughter? Yeah. - Happy Thanksgiving. - Happy Thanksgiving. [laughter] You know, she went to Casitas High. You guys could've met in marching band, for all you know. Wow. Huh. [Michael imitates trumpet] You look great. All right, who's thirsty? I got a Chateau La Gaffeliere Saint-Emilion 2010. Michael, you know the bottle. No, no, no, he's driven for hours. Michael, go upstairs and wash that road trip off of you. I don't need to shower. Well, at least change your shirt. Why? It's just gonna get covered in crap. Michael, just look nice. Change your shirt. Don't bust my ass. [Donna] Spending time with Michael... what's going on there? I-I don't know. I mean, it's confusing being in his energy, you know, but... It's crazy, Mom. I'm more myself with him than I am with anyone else. You know, honey, I think you two just need to go to therapy and work these things out. Mom... Well, you two were talking marriage at one point. There's clearly something there. He's not going to therapy with me. Well, exes go to therapy. I think he wants this to work. Why else would he offer to drive you up? He just wanted to see if you were in a different place, which you are. You've got a career, your own place. You want it to work? Yeah. But... Dais... there will always be a "but." You just got to shut the "but" up. [chuckles] [gasps] You look so sharp. What is going on here? Oh, don't be so angry. I was gonna tell you, but you were late. You should've told me what I'm stepping into. What are you stepping into? An arranged marriage! [laughs] Don't be so dramatic. It's just dinner. I mean, they're practically family anyway. Oh, honey. It's been almost five months since you and Daisy broke things off, and I've barely heard a peep out of you since. And I know you must've been so lonely down in LA, but... I just didn't know what to do. And maybe it was pushy, maybe you weren't ready, I get it, but I'm not forcing anything here anymore, I promise. I mean, Ana's daughter's in town, so she came, that's all. You don't have to be ready for anything. - What did you tell her mother? - I told her you were ready. - Mom! - Oh, all right. I wanted her to come, okay? You need to socialize. Girls your age are supposed to be thinking about the bigger picture. I want to show you something. Oh... This is Bubbe's ring. I had it polished. This is for you and your future wife one day, whomever she may be. This is so... Okay, go ahead, be angry. Tell your father it's all my fault, as usual, but later on when you're happy, I want credit for that, too. Now, go grab the carving knife, be yourself. [laughter, indistinct chatter] - Your mom is always... - Mom! Samira, honey, you haven't touched your turkey. Oh, dear God, don't tell me you're vegetarian. - No. - Oh, no, no, no. - Oh, I would've had a stroke. - Me too. Michael, did I tell you Samira just got her master's in biotech? - Oh, yeah, that's cool. - [chuckles] And she teaches at Rutgers. What do you teach, again, honey? Oh, I'm a lecturer, not a professor... epidemiology, research and statistics, and biostatistics. Is that all? [laughter] No. What else do you do? Well, I have extracted a DNA strand from a plant before. I mean, I extract DNA on the regular, I rip that shit like DVDs, yo. I find these mosquitoes fossilized in tree sap, and bam! I make dinosaurs out of that shit. What the hell are you talking about? [Samira And Michael] "Jurassic Park." Oh! You kids are sugar high. All right, who wants more of this? I'm good, honey. [whispering] Michael, scooch over. Scooch over. Just scooch over. Oh, Dad. Hey, Pops, pass the yams, please. - Yeah, sure. - Thanks. That was funny. Ooh, "pass" is one of his words. Whoa, whoa, Liz! Okay, there. She loves that game, I'll tell you. Hey, why didn't Michael stay? I didn't push too hard, honey, did I? Daddy... You know, I just... I hadn't spoken to him in a while, and I thought he was gonna stick around. I think your father has a crush. It's his hair. He has such attractive hair. [laughter] - Yeah. - [Daisy] Yeah. Oh, you know what? I'm gonna be in LA before I go, and I'd love to see you and Michael. Yeah, that would be great, wouldn't it? Honey, you're doing everything right. We're gonna back off. Whatever happens happens. That's your answer for everything. If she loves the guy, why should they wait? Dad, it's a timing thing. Same reason that we still don't have a Christmas tree. Every year you wait too damn long, and we end up with a broken plastic one. Wallace, we're gonna get one tomorrow. Daisy's gonna take you, okay? Listen, don't wait. Otherwise some floozy's gonna cozy up with this guy, and you'll be stuck wondering whatever happened to that perfect timing of yours. What do you do in LA? Uh, I'm in level design at a video game studio... Juggernauts. Oh. Oh, but your mom said you had your own company. Oh, he does. It's early stages. I still need the day job. A few buddies and I have raised some seed money to start our own game company. Yeah, when are we gonna see the fruits of our investment here? Um... Well, I say, you have a company, you are a CEO. Now you're just negotiating your fee. Oh, I love you. I love the way you said that. She is so right, honey. You really have to own it. Reintroduce yourself as a CEO, a big macher. - Mom. - What? CEO. You tech bubble nuts are obsessed with titles. You know what a joke it is when some banana-head in a basement operation is handing out cards that say CEO? Okay, enough business. It's Thanksgiving. Samira, what do you need, honey? Michael, give it to her. [Wallace] Let me tell you a story. - When I was younger than you... - Mm-hmm. I met your grandmother, the love of my life, and every night we would meet in her father's strawberry fields, and we'd... - Fast forward. - Okay, stop there. - All right, all right. - What would you do? Oh, no, no, no, all right, the point is... Now, listen, the point is I didn't have a job, and her father hated my guts. Oh, do you think that was gonna stop me? Oh, no. Hey, everybody, grab your drinks. I just want to say how proud I am of our little precious. One whole year at your first writing job. - Yeah. - Let's hear it. Yay. Congratulations, honey. Yeah, honey. If you're ever gonna focus on your own career, Dais, now is the time. Totally. You know what? I never would've considered the promotion at the Stockholm office if I hadn't broken up with Jason. And last year was the best year of my life. Yeah. Maybe that's something you can only do alone. So what's the game you're working on right now? Um, it's called "Hunter Gatherer." Okay. It's a strategy game like "Starcraft"... "Age of Empires." - [chuckles] - Never mind, I can tell this is all immensely fascinating to everyone. Oh, it is to me. Yeah, it's cool that you care. There's still lots to work out. It's tough with the day job. Not a hobby anymore. You're taking people's money. You owe them a product on time. I know, but it has to be good first, or no one will care. Where's the monetization plan you said you were gonna run by me three weeks ago? We're not at that phase, Dad. The timeline I signed off, that was this month's deliverable. When they start talking about work, it's like they're on another planet. Nathan, enough with the big words. Okay, let's just change the conversation, please. All right, all right, let's forget it. I forgot I'm talking to a creative here. What... Samira, can you pass the turkey? Dark meat, please. No more dark meat. He's had enough. Can you stop running my life for five minutes? My hand to God, Nathan, you make a scene, I will kill you in your sleep. [Liz] I mean, it's always a power struggle. Like, if push came to shove, would you have ever moved for Michael? I mean, technically, I did. I came back home instead of renewing my teaching contract. See, exactly. It's not like Michael would've ever moved for you. I bet you wish you hadn't come back, right? 'Cause that job was, like, really your thing. Yeah. Yeah, I loved that job. I've been looking again, actually. - What? - Hmm? My friend sent me this link to an NGO in China. Could be this really amazing opportunity working with kids. Whoa, hold on a second. Daisy, I thought we were feeling good about this direction. I mean, you're getting paid to write. Well, she's an Aries, so... What's that mean? You guys bore easily. [chuckles] Oh, I'm... I'm not bored. I just... It'd be nice to have a job that means something. Your job does mean something, honey. I mean, people need to buy things. You inform them in really fun ways. Hey, guess what. I quit. - What? - When? Um, the reason I got the time off is because I quit, actually. - Honey, when did this happen? - Last month. Christmas is such a hard time to look for a job, Dais. Yeah, thanks. Sorry. So... what now? [chuckles] I don't know. You know, I'm just looking around for what feels right. Oh, sweetie, I missed you so much last time. You know, maybe we could just find some Chinese kids here. - Mom. - Hey, you know what? It's all gonna be fine. We're gonna figure this out. What are you gonna do about Michael, though? I-I don't know, Liz. [chuckles] We're... we're not even officially together. Awesome. So I don't know what I'm gonna do yet, but I don't want us to figure it out, Dad. I want to figure it out, so... [breathes deeply] Cheers. [jazz music] [snoring] [Samira] Hey. You got anymore Chateau La-whatever 2010? [chuckles] - Thanks. - Mm-hmm. Look at him. I always marveled at how happy he looks when he sleeps. I don't see it often when he's awake. You still heated? Sorry about that. I understand the need to impress your parents. Oh... I've kind of accepted that's not gonna happen. I mean, my... my grandfather survived a Middle Eastern revolution, and I have the high score on "Ms. Pac-Man" at the Nicholson Arcade. Wow. You really try to impress a girl, don't you? I'm not trying to impress anyone. Right. How could you? You don't even know my type. Okay. What? What's your type? I don't have a type. - [scoffs] - Don't believe in types. Jeez, okay. I just found that what people respond to and what they say they respond to can be very different. I would say I respond to women who have... huge Adam's apples - and padded pantsuits... - Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. And have names like Bath Shiva. - Traditional. - Yeah. I like it. Oh, my God, I do, too, which is why I remain regrettably single. -[chuckles] Aw. - Drink up. - [chuckles] [sighs] [knock at door] You okay, precious? What, you're not precious anymore? What's up, Dad? Look, about this job thing, I'm sorry if I put pressure on you to come up here this weekend. It's not your fault. I probably would've had to quit eventually. I just... I wish you would've talked to me about it. I know. You know what? Maybe it was a good thing you lost this job. I didn't get fired. No. But we manifest everything in our lives at some level. Isn't that what you always tell me? Yeah. I mean, look, you're 25 years old now. I'm 26. That's what I meant. [both laugh] Look, you want to strike oil, why don't you just dig deep right here where God's put you, instead of running all over the world poking little holes? I want to show you something. - [sighs] - [door opens] [gentle music] Oh... Oh, my gosh. When I took that job in Dallas, it was my dream job. You were four years old, and I would fly home every other weekend, and I think I'd miss you grow two inches each and every time. Then one day... I came home to this. My life-size dad. You said you drew it so you could see my face anytime you wanted. I've never been more miserable in a job after seeing this drawing. [both laughing] Dad... [both] Oh... It's okay. Oh, gosh. Oh, my gosh. Might I offer you Trader Joe's best? Inspired. - Oh, thank you. - [chuckles] I have great taste in employees who have great taste in Trader Joe's. [Michael clears throat] So the, um... the "pulling DNA from plants" thing... What is that for? Oh, that was in school. I don't really work in a lab anymore. The research I do now focuses on infant development. How did you get into that? A close family friend when I was young had a baby with underdeveloped lungs, I always knew I wanted to help ever since then. Man, that is what I'm talking about. I mean, I have known what I want to do forever, it feels like. Most of my friends do not know what they want. I... I have a hard time relating to people who are still figuring it out. I know that's mean, but I'm solution-oriented, you know? - Mm. - Like, do something. - Try something. - Mm-hmm. I mean, accomplishing it is a whole nother thing. Yeah, sometimes I think that I'll probably die before any of the problems I want to solve get solved. Like, if two people love each other and their kid would have autism, we should be able to fix that. Fix it like doctor the genes of the kid? Mm, you're one of those? [chuckles] Like I'm playing God or something. No, no, I'm not one of those, but you were so preoccupied with whether or not you could, you didn't you stop to think about whether or not you should? Was that... Oh. Jeff Goldblum, "Jurassic Park." They're, like, sitting around the table, and he's like... [imitating Jeff Goldblum] "Uh-huh." Like, "Ah..." Bit of a stretch. - Was it? - Yeah. Is it not good? - Nope. - I like it. Mm. You shouldn't. Is it... is it, like, not oaky enough? Nope, not oaky enough for me. Yeah. No oak. One of those nights, okay. [chuckles] [imitates guzzling drinks] [girls laughing] [Daisy] You are so such a good singer. [Liz] I know. [Daisy] You're such a good singer, Liz. I didn't even know. [knock at door] - Hi! - What's up? [laughing] Hi. - She made it. - Obviously. - Hi. - Hi. Oh, I wouldn't miss this. Come on. I wouldn't miss you guys. Hi. Oh, my gosh, get in here. Look at this furry face. Look at this. - Yes. - I got this for you. I know. What? No. - Yes! - No, this is amazing. Who is this? Who is this? This is Liz, my cousin. Hi. I'm Liz. - Hi. - What's up? Namaste. Man, why the hell do you have to be such a fucking tool all the time? [laughing] That was so... Hey, you brought beer. You brought beer. - Yeah. - Okay, all right. Stop talking. [Ele] Nathan, get over here, Wake up, honey. You got to see this. [laughing] [Michael] Mm? Dad's reserve. Ooh. Ooh-la-la. [both laugh] So... this guy you were seeing? Oh, yes. Okay, so, um... - we went on maybe four dates... - Mm-hmm. And he paid for everything, was super nice and all, but it was kind of all that he was, so I let him know that I didn't think it was gonna work out, and he emails me a week later with scanned receipts asking that I cover half of all the meals. - No. - Yeah. [laughs] I felt embarrassed for him. - Oh, my... - It was so bad. - That is incredible. - Yeah. - Fuck. - Did you... [gasps] No. [laughs] Nice going, Drillbit Dan. No. Let me try, oh, my gosh. It's, like... [Michael gasps] Shit. That is a $120 bottle of wine you just ruined. - I ruined? - Yes. - Me? - Yeah. At least be a lady and pay for your half. [chuckles] Ha ha ha ha. Deserved that one. I take PayPal. [laughs] Great. So you like cute guys to pay for everything? Well, it doesn't have to be fancy. No. I can be a cheap date - Yeah? - Yeah. But, yes, he's paying. Mm. My ex wanted guys to pay, too, but... I don't know. I thought you'd be more... "I am woman" about it. Hmm. I am woman. But... you know, I don't need a guy to provide for me. I want a guy who wants to provide for me. That's what she said. What? My ex. Oh. I thought you were making, like, a "that's what she said" joke. [laughing] Oh. Can you imagine? Yeah, I was, like, I was nailing this chick, bro, and she was all, "I want a guy who wants to provide for me," so I provided on her face. Too far. Whoops. [laughs] It's okay. So he's like, "Let's shoot this chase scene, you know, or, like, this car sequence." [Daisy] Yeah, 'cause, of course, he wrote a high-speed chase into our high school. He clips this car. The driver of that car calls the school, and Ankit almost gets thrown out of the school... So sad. Liz, he cared so much. [Ankit] 'Cause I was an overachiever. [Daisy] Yeah. Yeah, it was bad. Yeah, you got voted for most talented, not for most likely to succeed, so... Oh, yeah, and what were you voted? You were voted most likely to be on "SNL." - Oh, what happened to that? - That was a lifestyle choice. I didn't let the yearbook be my guidance counselor. [laughs] Oh, I'm good. I'm good. I'm totally good. - Daisy? - What? There will be a time when the bong comes around. Oh, yeah? - There will be a time... - Okay. When the bong doesn't come around. Then what? Oooh! [Liz laughs] [Chase] All right. Don't tell my mom, okay? [water bubbling] - Nice one. - [coughing] Fuck. I made her her first piece. It was a turquoise elephant, and you'd smoke out of the trunk. Oh, God, what the shit is this chair? Fuck you. I made that pillow. Hey, be nice. She just quit her job, and she needs some tenderness. Oh, yeah, yeah, I heard about that. - I heard about that. - Thank you. [Liz] Daisy. Let me thread the needle here. This has been a really shitty Thanksgiving. Listen, you, lean back. - Follow my breath. - Okay. I just lost my job a year ago, too. Oh, you did? And now I'm self-employed, and you can say whatever you want about my profession. Oh, my gosh, that's what I should... I will say whatever I want. That's, like, totally what I need to be doing. That's good. I'm self-sufficient, bitch. I'm self-sufficient. - Oh, yeah, come on. - Thank you, cheers. And it's, like, the highest level of aspirations that you can have as a man. What do you do? Uber. [laughter] - Okay, so strategy games... - Uh-huh. I'm gonna... I'm gonna lay it on the line for you. - Okay. - Okay? Lay it all on the line. Okay, so you have these little dudes, right? - Mm-hmm. - You're either orcs or robots. Of course. And you have to gather these minerals, and you use the minerals to build an army. Okay. But in my game, you're basically... you just gather the minerals. Huh. Like "Mario Kart." - What? No. - [laughs] That's exactly what "Mario Kart" is about. What are you talking about? I'm trying to educate you here. Jeez. - [gasps] - Oh. [women talking indistinctly in the distance] [laughs] You're such a boy. Excuse me, lady, I'm a man. Uh-huh, Mr. Video Games. Okay. You don't respect what I do. You're being sensitive. No, I mean, admit it... you think you're saving mankind and I'm rotting kids' brains. I don't have to be into the things you're into to like who you are. I don't know. I don't know about that. - [grunts] - What? [laughter and chatter continue in the distance] Well, entertainment is something I believe in. It's not just something I'm into. It's my mission... like your mission to clone Stepford Wives. [laughs] Shut up. Okay, so... this video game that you're making is for the greater glory of mankind. Oh, now you shut up. I just want to know about your mission. - I am a man on a mission. - Ah... You're good with me, you're good with my mission. Okay, good luck. [mutters, laughs] Hey, there are girls who are into that. I had one once, but, you know, when girls... Mm-mm. Shh, shh, shh. Okay. Hmm. What's your favorite music? Black Crows. I don't like 'em. [Ele] All right, kids, kids, come in. You have to see this. [Ana] Come in here right now. [laughter] God, our moms. Well, she's not driving us home. Let's... Yeah. You two should stay. We have a guest room. Okay. [acoustic guitar music, Daisy humming] Shower me with love That's warm and open I'll grow to be the tallest tree I will lift you up If you would let me Hold my hand And plant the seed The world can tell me no But I dream about everything People come and go But you play hide-and-seek Inside my dreams Can you find me, love? I'm waiting here for you Can you see me? Will you be the one That hears my secrets? I'll whisper them So keep them safe Every branch that breaks We're always learning Thinking over Each mistake And I have been shot down But I grow taller every day You and I both know That hide-and-seek is just a game Can you find me, love? I'm waiting here for you Oh oh Can you see me? Can you see me? [Daisy humming] Can you find me, love? I'm waiting here for you Can you see me? Can you see me? Can you see me? Can you see me? [applause and whistling] Wow. You've gotten better since Burning Man. Oh. Thanks. It's a new one. You have to come visit me at Berkeley. I could get you, like, some practice gigs a couple places, and you can open for me. It'd be really fun. Oh, God, I wish. Let me ask you a question. What's keeping you in LA? Yeah, yeah, you quit your job. You're not seeing anybody. You haven't bought into the housing market or some shit, right? I mean, maybe it's time that you... I don't know... - just move back... - Explore. Hung out with your homies who have your back, live big, dream big like you used to. YOLO. Yeah. That'd be nice. I read that, like, you're only as successful as the average of your six closest friends, right? But... when we come together, we form this elevated electric-magnetic field. Bullshit. [Marcus] No, you can measure it. How do you measure it? They have devices. What, do I have an electromagnetic field, then? You definitely have an electric-magnetic field. [Liz] Okay, go back to your bean bag, please. I'm sick of bean bags. I know you're, uh, preoccupied, - but I'm gonna... - [sighs] I'm gonna keep you company, okay? I shouldn't have drank. That happens to everybody. Your problem is you're too repressed. Pachamama's got you now. You remember that Hawaii trip my senior year? [chuckles] Wow. It's like you have a glowing halo around your head. You know, I've always had feelings for you... Shut up, Chase. Stop. [footsteps approaching] - Hey. - Hi. You okay? She's fine. [Liz] You ready? Yeah. [Chase] Hey, I really liked your song. [soft music] Grandpa? What are you doing? What does it look like? We're gonna get a real one tomorrow, remember? Let's just go to bed, okay, Grandpa? I want to tell you a story. There was once a boy who worked on a ranch for his folks. Down the road from the ranch, this neighboring farmer... he owned a strawberry field. And that farmer... he had a beautiful daughter. And the boy fell in love with her the instant he saw her. He hadn't known her for two weeks, and that ranch boy... he knew this was it. And when the farmer said no... He stole her away on his horse, and they rode over the strawberry fields, and they started... a whole new life together that very night. But then when... When things went south... Money. You know, things that... Things that get in the way of life. They started talking less and less to each other, even when things were good. [voice breaking] And they stopped talking altogether when things were bad. There were times they even forgot why they were even together. [cries softly] [Daisy] It's okay. It's okay. [crying] [cell phone vibrates] [sighs] [sighs] [cell phone chimes] Yo, dude. Uh, I don't know if you got my email, but my Uncle Kevin backed out. Apparently he got sued by his Taiwanese ex-wife and lost all of his money, so he can't invest in the app anymore. So, you know, your parents are gonna have to do it. Listen, dude, I don't care what you have to do, whether it's go back to Hebrew school, start rocking a yarmulke, go kosher, just get in your parents' good graces because we're gonna need our funding, bro. Anyway, I hope Thanksgiving was fantastic. Mine wasn't 'cause I was with my family. [chuckles] You look like Michael Cera. [laughs] Thanks. You're up early. Oh, sorry. I was trying to be as quiet as possible. You want a shake? No, I'm still stuffed. I'm gonna go for a jog. Oh, oh, you can join us. - Hi, babies. - Hi. - Mom, are you going for a jog? - I was thinking about it. What the crap is going on here? My mom hasn't joined me on run... ever. You know what? You're right. I would just slow you down. You two should go. Oh, no, you were so close. Hey, I got my walk to the front porch, and that's a good start for me. [laughter] I haven't exercised in ten years. This morning's not gonna make any difference. No, Mom, come with us. You got to come. Oh, and who's gonna do your laundry for you before you go? You? Good luck keeping up with her. Come on. - You okay? - Yeah. [both breathing heavily] Hmm... [inhales deeply] [soft music] Leona LaRue. Ah, the one that got away. Honestly, she should've been. First girlfriend. First date, I hacked a loogie in her face. Wow. I spit away from her, and the wind threw it back in her face. Oh, ew. And then we dated for three years. Leona LaRue lacked options. Yeah, poor Leona. Hmm. I'm just thinking about all the married girls I know. I wonder if they lacked options, you know? Are they with the one, or has the one just not shown up yet? Okay, all right, I got to say some things here... To you. Mm... Inside my dreams Can you find me, love? I'm waiting here for you [Ana] Hey, you two, how was the run? [Samira] Good. Oh, looks like you guys worked up an appetite. [Michael] I'm gonna wash up. Okay, well, hurry down so that we can all eat together. Um, I had a shake this morning, so I'm good, but can I borrow the car? - I'm gonna just go out. - Why? Because I forgot some things, you know, things a girl needs. Well, Eleanor has some things. I get... I get allergic reactions, so I have to be super particular about... Well, Michael can take you. Okay, no, he can't, because it's Thanksgiving, and the stores are closed. - It's Black Friday. - Mom, the stores are closed. - Can I just have the car? - [chuckles] [Ana] Samira. It's okay. Let the kids do what they're gonna do. [utensil clanking on plate] [garbage disposal whirring] [Liz] Dude. Dude. - Daisy, Daisy. - Oh. Ugh, I'm sorry. Sorry, I-I forgot. When do you leave with Mike? We texted last night, actually. And? And we said we loved each other. - Holy shit. - [laughs] Yeah. So what are you gonna do? Um... I-I don't know yet. Wow. So I may have sent him the video of you singing last night. - Shit. - What? Oh, why would you do that? Liz, fuck. [Liz] I was just trying to help. Michael. I don't even know what to think, - I am so embarrassed. - Whoa. Ele, what the hell is going on? Oh, come look. Look what your son did. What? - How did you get that? - I forwarded it to myself. Oh, that makes more sense. I thought your girlfriend was texting your mom. Mom, what the flying fuck? Don't you dare make this about me. Did Samira see this? Is that why she's so upset? She's upset because you flew her across the country to set her up with a taken guy. What? I'm getting back with Daisy. W-we still love each other. Daisy, the song's beautiful. Was he not supposed to hear it? Well, what if that's not where I'm at, Liz? What if I'm not where he needs me to be at right now? This is so backwards. I mean, you were just texting that you love him. - Do you love him? - Yes. You for fucking real love him? Yes. [scoffs] Aren't guys supposed to have the commitment issues? This isn't commitment issues. I'm trying to deal with my new fucking lease right now. I don't know where my next job is gonna be. I could be homeless in a month. Daisy. [chuckles] That's commitment issues. Sometimes I wish I just met him in five years. You would be a fucking idiot to let this guy go. I mean, do you have any idea how lucky you are to find a guy who's willing to put up with this shit? Don't talk to me like that. I'm sorry, but you drive me crazy. I can't even imagine how he must feel. I want to know when. When were you gonna tell us about this woman you've been sneaking in and out of your attic? What? This is why it always falls apart. She is terrified of pleasing you guys. You know, she had a dream that we were Filipino, and Mom was forcing her to spit into a communal pot and she couldn't do it? Filipino? Do I look Filipino? [chuckles] Oh, Nathan, don't even start with me. You listen to me, Michael. You and this meshuganah girl... it's like an addiction. This is not love. It's like you're addicted... You do not know what you're talking about. I do know that much! Listen to me! All right, all right. Go ahead, handle it. Listen, no matter how many notches you think you got on your belt, you're still young and impressionable, and not that they want to, but women will wreck you. [Ele] Ha! Not all of 'em, but they make you do crazy shit, and everybody's got to go through it once. But your mom and I think you're crawling out of a pit just to jump right back in, four times, five times. I mean, you got to see after... Look, I'm sorry. People don't change. I don't want her to change, Dad. Yes, you do, not in a bad way, but you do. Haven't you always said how unhappy she is, her place in life? She's happier with me. I'm happier with her. Oh, Michael, you think things are gonna go great in life because you're both happy. I can't help who I fall in love with, Mom. Listen to me. If I told you that this girl wasn't gonna figure out what she wants out of life for another 10 years, would you still love her and want to be with her? Yes. - You know, it's not your life. - [scoffs] And I didn't ask you for your fucking advice. [laughs] Daisy, you always ask for my advice. Do you want to be with him, or are you too scared to admit that you don't want to be with him? Fuck off. Excuse you? Fuck off to Stockholm. You want my job, Daisy? Do you want my boyfriend, Liz? Wow. You use that term loosely. Eleanor... There... I give up. Nathan, don't touch that ring. You want to make your own decisions, turn against your family, go ahead. [sniffles] He's a grown man, right? He can make his own decisions, right? Fine, then, you go ahead, and you give my mother's ring to whomever you like. You just let us know, so maybe we can come to the wedding and sit in the back! What the fuck just happened? I don't need this shit. - Oh, come on. - No, I'm out of here. Happy Thanksgiving, Mom. [rock music] Mazel tov. Okay. Thank Thee Heavenly Father for what we are about to receive. And pray Thee for Thy continued blessings. Thank You for this food, and thank You for this family. Amen. [Donna] Amen. [soft acoustic guitar music] Steady woman, won't you come on down? I need you right here on the ground I've walked the outskirts of this town Been terrorized by what I found I saw a standing virgin bride Where holy Dionysus died She tore the heart out of his side And laid it there, and there she cried Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh-oh Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh She said, "Hello, I'm a monster, too What poisons me is what poisons you" Into these animals we grew But when we were young, our eyes were blue I think I've come a long, long way To sit before you here today And they're yours alone, the songs I play [laughs] Is this...? To take with you or to throw away I'm a beggar in the morning I'm a king at night My belt is loose, and my trigger is tight May come without warning At the speed of the light Make it shine so pretty Make it shine so bright So you... want to come over? [chuckles] - I missed you. - Me too. I want to know everything. What's been going on with you? Well... my car's radiator blew out, and I had to hitchhike home practically with this guy. Oh, no. Yeah. What was he like? He has a cute butt. Yeah. You should've heard my parents going on and on about you and everything you're doing. It's really inspiring me to think more aggressively about my career. That's good, babe. We're gonna get you there. I want to talk to you about something. Okay. I've decided to look for another contract. - Abroad? - I know, I know. Just hear me out. I... I've been thinking about it a lot, and it's really in my heart to travel more. Okay. And there's this opportunity that could turn into a real full-time job. - What could? - This NGO in China. I'd be working with kids every day, teaching orphan girls. - It just sounds... - Wow. China, that's, like... I know. - Wheew. - [both laugh] I know. Baby, I just wanted to bring it up, so we could talk about it, like, as soon as I knew. - Yeah. - Okay, so first of all, it wouldn't even start until April, and it's not like we haven't done long distance before, and you could come visit this time because you're trying to get out of your day job anyway. China is really connected. You could do your work from there, and I'd be in a job that actually matters, you know. Like, I'd really be making a difference. Yeah. I hear you totally. Yeah, okay. Um... Wow. So you... you've... You want to go. You've decided. Okay, and you want... Me to go? Not necessarily. We could work on us either way, but... I mean... would you? Maybe. Um... I mean, I would need to look into... Well, like... Yeah, I-I don't know. I don't know. Okay. There's not, like, a job you could find that you like that's not in North Korea or whatever, you know, 'cause, like, I'm here. Okay, it's not like I want to choose this over you. That's not what I want. It feels like you do. Isn't that kind of what you're doing? What do you... I have a career here. Like, I have people that depend on me. Yeah, and that's what I want, too. - That's what I'm trying to find. - Right. I think that that's there for me. Right, okay, but how long would you be gone for? You see, it's like you can't just ask me to... Okay. Come on, don't, don't, don't... What? Don't what? Okay, well, why... Can't we just talk about... It could be forever, you know? Like, I... You can't just put that on me. Like, all I've ever tried to do is make this work, and I thought you wanted to give this a real shot, you know. I thought that you sent the... I don't... I'm sorry, I don't know. I wish you and I could've had a conversation before Liz sent you all that shit. Why is that? Well, because we're the ones in this, Michael, and I deserve the chance to talk with you about how I feel. Yeah, well, I guess she's just trying to help. [scoffs] What? How often exactly does she talk with you? I don't know. She's my friend. We were broken up, and she was, like, really there for me. She'd call you? No, she was in town a few times, so she came over to check in on... Wait, you called my cousin to your place? Um... That's weird, Michael. We drank Nesquik. We talked about you. Oh, okay, so, like, it wouldn't be weird if I went to hang out at Zach's place, just the two of us. Not if you were drinking Nesquik. Wow. I just can't believe this right now. Are you... Nothing fucking happened! Do you know how much nothing fucking happened? I didn't even think it was weird to invite her over. It didn't even cross my mind. What? I can... Okay, I can't believe I'm defending myself right now. You do realize that while you were in Cambodia, I didn't do a single fucking thing with another girl, right? You didn't? No. I didn't know that. Did you...? Did you...? [sighs] [somber music] [breathing shakily] You slept with someone. A friend... a friend of a friend in Phnom Penh, we... we partied and got drunk, and it was, um... it was just physical, that's it. So... so you would call me, crying about your shitty day teaching these brats, and then on good days, you were with him. What the fuck? You seriously have the gall to rip me a new asshole for getting hot cocoa with your cousin. That's not fair, okay? We weren't together then! And you're the one who told me that you intend to date while I was gone. You, like, spelled it out for me. I thought that guy was gonna be, you know, my last huzzah, like, ever. And I did... I did come home to be with you. I couldn't... I couldn't even go through with it. He took me up, and we undressed... Stop. Michael. I know how much I've hurt you. And I feel so... I don't even know how to forgive myself anymore... - Shit. - Because... I look at you and... How amazing you are and... And this feeling... this feeling that won't shut up keeps coming back, and... and I don't understand it. [sniffles] And I know... How much you hate me for it. I don't hate you. I hate myself more because I don't want to hurt you anymore. And I want you to have what you want. Daisy... I don't know what's wrong with me. You're, like... You're my perfect guy. You're, like, my list. I don't have a list anymore. All I want is you. I don't care how unfinished we are... And how crazy we are and how stupid we are. I love you like an obsessed crazy person. [chuckles] I want to support you... however it is you want to be supported. And I don't care what we've gone through. I accept it all. Everything I need to be happy for the rest of my life is right here. [sighs] [sniffles] [gasps] Oh, my God. From the bottom of my heart... Will you marry me? [acoustic guitar music] [Daisy humming] Shower me with love That's warm and open I'll grow to be the tallest tree I will lift you up If you would let me Hold my hand And plant the seed The world can tell me no But I dream about everything People come and go But you play hide-and-seek Inside my dreams Can you find me, love? I'm waiting here for you Can you see me? Will you be the one That hears my secrets? I'll whisper them So keep them safe Every branch that breaks We're always learning Thinking over Each mistake And I have been shot down But I grow taller every day You and I both know That hide-and-seek is just a game Can you find me, love? I'm waiting here for you Oh oh Can you see me? Can you see me? [Daisy humming] Can you find me, love? I'm waiting here for you Can you see me? Can you see me? Can you see me? Can you see me? Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh Hey, babe, take everything I'll give it to you This is the best of me You've got the best of me Hey, babe, love every day And we'll be okay This is the best of me Listen, you got the best of me Hey, babe, take everything I'll give it to you This is the best of me You've got the best of me Hey, babe, love every day And we'll be okay This is the best of me And all I can do Is keep giving it to you |
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