1
- I wanna show you something.
- Unstable, and on the verge
of a complete meltdown.
That's the word from German
environment Minister Matilda...
- Holy shit, that smells good!
Oh, what happened?
You okay?
- I think it's all right, I
could use a band aid though.
- It looked good, at least.
- I guess we'll just have
to make this salad night.
- You sure, it's not Thursday,
think you can handle it?
- I can improvise.
- Oh chaos, everything
is chaos, I say.
Destruction and flames,
and new torments,
and new tormented
souls I see around me,
wherever I look and
how so ever I turn,
and wherever I gaze.
- Shh.
- What's this?
- Earthquake in Poland,
I guess this nuclear
plant's about to blow.
- Shit, now I feel like an ass.
- As you should.
How was it?
- Huh?
- The lecture, how was it?
- Peruse.
- Very nice, your turn.
- Hmm, it was what it
was, I didn't learn much.
- You don't need
to learn anything,
you know it all all ready.
- Ouch.
- No, oh, shit, that's
not what I mean.
- Uh huh.
- No, really.
- Yup.
- I just mean you're smart.
- Sure.
- That's not what I...
- But that's not what...
- Stop, you know what I meant.
- Tell me again how smart I am.
- While don't you
shut up and grab me
a boiled egg from the
fridge, smart guy.
Do you want an avocado?
- Hey, will you turn
that off for a second.
- What's wrong?
- Nothing, nothing is
wrong, at least I hope not.
All my life, I've looked
at words as though
seeing them for the first time.
I rehearsed this
in my head all day.
Oh, damn it, I had this
all figured out in the car.
Uh, here.
Doubt thou the stars of fire,
doubt that the sun does move,
doubt truth to be a liar,
but never doubt my love.
Calliope Garrard,
will you marry me?
I know it's not much, I wanted
to get something bigger.
- Cali, look at me.
- I'm here.
- Oh, you're awake,
how are we feeling?
- She needs water.
- Looks like we have
had quite a night,
haven't we Calliope?
You wanna tell me
what you remember?
- I just came home.
- Mmm hmm.
- And I cut my finger.
- And?
- Doubt the stars of fire,
did you propose to me?
- So, was it a
stroke or something?
- Well, Calliope experienced
what we call a tonic clonic
event, or what was referred
to as a grand Mal seizure
back in the middle ages.
It can be triggered
by a number of things,
stress, malnutrition,
flashing lights,
were you watching television
when this happened?
- Uh, yeah.
- Yeah, okay, tell me,
can you remember having
any strange feelings
the moments preceding?
Dizziness maybe, or a
strong surge of emotions,
altered vision,
hearing, strange smells,
overwhelming sense of deja
vu, anything like that?
- I don't remember.
- Okay, well the seizure
appears to have been idiopathic.
- What does that mean?
- It's a fancy word
for we don't know.
Now, is this the first
time it's happened to you?
- I don't...
I think, when I lived with
Billy, or maybe before.
- Billy?
- And how long ago was that?
- I don't know, maybe
10 years ago, nine.
- Who's Billy?
- Was it just the one time?
- I was eighteen.
I don't, I don't...
- Okay, well listen,
I want you to relax,
I'm gonna come back in and
check on you in a little bit.
We're gonna keep you overnight
and run some tests, okay?
- Sure, okay.
- Who's Billy?
- Hey, you wanna know
why they call me dead Billy?
It was '67, '68 maybe,
before the Ted offensive.
They sent us into this
village, north of.
Everyone there was
Cong, they said.
There was this black guy,
called him big Charles,
huge motherfucker, but
a sweetheart, you know.
Big Charles sees this
girl, maybe seven or eight,
sitting in a road, out
in front of the huts.
She's crying, he has a candy
bar or something in his pack,
so he goes to her, to
give her the candy,
and she jumps up, throws
something, grenade maybe,
something, and Big Charles
catches it one handed,
and turns his big
dumb eyes to me,
and next thing I
know I'm on my back,
wearing his guts as
a fucking necklace.
I was standing five,
10 feet away maybe,
and I didn't have
a scratch on me.
So everyone says later,
Jesus Christ Billy,
you should have been
fucking dead, right?
And I should have been,
I mean, I know that,
but I didn't even singe
my God damn eyebrows.
So about a month later, we're
in this little bar in Saigon,
and this guy Norman,
big Navajo guy,
he's trying to get me
laid, all those guys,
they thought I was a virgin.
Norm decides he can't
have that in his unit,
so he's talking to
this slope whore,
but she don't speak English,
it's all just GI, GI,
blowie, blowie, fuckie,
fuckie, that sort of thing,
so he's telling her this story
about how I should be dead,
and she lights all up
like a Christmas tree,
because yeah, she
knows that word, dead.
So, she just looks at
me with these big eyes,
and she just shrugs
and says, "Blowie?"
He gives her five bucks, he
takes to me this little room
in the back, and sucks me off.
Took me thirty seconds,
but I swear I damn near
blew a hole in the
back of her skull.
Anyway, I've been
Dead Billy ever since.
- Cali, come on, this isn't
funny, just open the door,
I know you're in there.
Cali, I just wanna see
you, open the door!
Come on, I'm gonna stay
here all day, until...
Oh God, what did you
let him do to you.
- I told you I ran away
from home for a while,
when I was a kid.
- Yeah, but you never
mentioned this Billy.
Who was he?
- Just this guy, a vet.
- From the Gulf?
- Vietnam.
- Jesus, how old was he?
And you lived with him?
Was it, was it a sexual thing?
- Roy...
- Come on, were you
fucking the guy?
- What do you think?
I don't think I need
to apologize to you.
- Are you okay?
- Developing in
Germany, showing a frightening
new discovery at the
Kumps Nuclear Plant,
just days after the
earthquake in Poland
sent the reactor into
complete meltdown.
German officials have now
released data that shows
radiation levels around
Kunps have spiked
to levels much higher than
initial reports suggested.
Reports from both the German
environmental authorities,
and the UN health
organization, show that total
air release of iodine
131 and Cecil 137...
- Hey, look at me.
- Well, this is kinda fucked up.
- There's nothing to
discourage the appetite
for divinity in
the heart of man.
That's Kabu, my dear.
- Lucian.
- Hmm?
Muse, I thought you were
staying with your mother.
- It's Tuesday, Daddy.
- Well then...
Well sit Muse, join us.
Would you like some coffee?
- I don't know, I
should get to school.
- Nonsense, sit.
Cali, this is Ashley,
she's my graduate student.
- Hey, sure.
I gotta get to class.
- Sit!
- Okay.
- Ashley, this is my
daughter Cali, my muse.
Ashley is quite the star in
our humble little bailiwick.
She's doing her thesis
on the age of reason,
very provocative stuff.
- I'm doing this third
way feminist view of it.
You know, breaking
down the relationship
between the mostly
male existentialist...
- I'm sorry but
this is bullshit.
- Cali.
- Not your thesis,
sorry, it sounds very,
you know, interesting,
or whatever, I gotta go.
- Cali, I'm afraid
you're being a child.
- Don't feel bad, I
know he's very charming.
- You buy it, or you
stop playing with it.
- You wouldn't like it, it's
all full of words and stuff.
- Made of Athens
air we part, give,
oh, give me back my heart.
It's Byron.
- Good for you,
you're a smart one.
This lad was known as
Nicholas the Galant,
making love in secret
was his talent.
That's Trosser.
So how does a useless
truant like you quote Byron,
what's your deal?
- Like you said,
I'm a smart one.
- Yeah, I can tell.
You know, I ain't your daddy,
but aren't you supposed
to be in school?
- I'll go when they
can teach me something
they haven't learned
in their ignominious
little community
college educations.
- Jesus Christ, how old are you?
- 18.
- Uh huh, what's your name?
- What do you care?
- What's your name?
- Cali, Calliope really, but
only my dad calls me that.
- It's kind of a faggy
name, is your daddy a fag.
- Hardly.
- Calliope, the muse.
- Yeah, he's the only one
who calls me that too.
- Ah, I get it, issues.
Here.
Take it, it will
make daddy happy.
- I don't have issues.
- We all have issues, sweetie.
- So what are yours?
- What do you think?
- You're like a vet, right?
So you've probably
killed people.
- That's none of your business.
- I'm sorry, I thought we
were talking about issues.
- You don't back off, do you?
- Nope.
- I'm Billy, yeah,
I killed people.
- How many?
- I like you Cali.
- I don't believe you, I don't
think you killed anybody.
- Stop by the next time you
want to escape the ignominy.
See ya.
So what you doing here, Cali?
- Was that you playing,
when I walked up?
- You ain't 18, ain't
no fucking way you're 18.
Hey Billy, ain't no
fucking way she 18.
- Mind your business.
Anyway, ever tell you
guys the story about
how I got the name Dead Billy?
- Only everyday Bill, it's
different every God damn time.
- Ah, I'm not very
good, but I like the...
- Need any help girl,
just call, let me know.
- I think maybe, this
isn't a great idea.
I'm old enough to
be your father.
- But you're not...
My father.
- Hey, look at me.
You're sure?
- Yeah.
But I better go.
- So, I told them that the play
was about a rabid populous.
And they looked at me with
these longing, willful,
naive stares that only a
college freshman could have,
hoping that I was not
writing another tirade
about an impotent generation.
And of course I told them I was.
Their heads dropped,
it was cute, in a way.
Your shirt's inside out, yup.
- Where were you?
You are not going to
drink out of that carton.
Still haven't
answered my question.
- I was at dads.
- Uh huh, and how was dad?
- What is that, what the fuck.
Holy shit, uh Jesus
Christ, come in.
Shit, sorry, sit.
Jesus, how are you Cali?
- I'm good.
- Oh, congratulations,
who's the guy.
- His name is Roy.
- Good name, a grown up name,
if you know what I mean.
What does he do, where did you
meet him, tell me everything?
- Okay, let's see,
he's a post grad,
at the University,
comparative lit.
- Sounds fancy.
- Well, we met at a
lecture, he was...
Geez, this sounds
horrible, but he was my TA.
- So you're still
going to school?
- Got my bachelors last fall,
and I just started
the masters program.
- Comparatives, what's it...
- English education.
- That's great,
really, that's great.
I knew as you soon
as you got your GED,
everything would fall
in place for you.
Seriously, the best congrats.
- Thanks.
- So, what brings you by?
- I was, you're
going to hate this.
- Fuck.
- Selena...
- No Cali.
Calliope, look at me.
This isn't some bullshit
about closure, is it?
- I've been having
seizures again.
- Oh, geez, okay Calliope,
you don't need to be talking
to me, you need to...
- No, I've all ready
been to a doctor,
that's not why I'm here.
Okay, um.
You see it, right?
- Of course I do, what...
- You see that, right?
- Yeah, but...
- What do you see?
Please, Selena, I'm
just trying to explain.
- I see, well, a little
statue of, I don't know,
is it Athena, or something?
- Calliope, the muse.
- Okay, Calliope, and a glass.
- What color is the glass?
- This is...
- Please.
- It's amber, okay,
now you have to
tell me what this is all about.
- Billy gave me that statue,
and that glass is
from his house.
When you got me out of there,
I didn't take anything
with me, did I?
- No, of course not.
- I just found this at my house.
And that, is that a seizure.
I was hoping, I thought maybe
you could tell me where he is.
- Absolutely not.
No way in hell,
Jesus Christ Cali,
you were like my
one success story.
Do you remember what you were
like when you got out of there?
I do, 80 pounds, at most,
somebody would slam a door,
you'd nearly jump
out of your skin.
You remember that, do you?
Look at me.
Calliope, stop!
Why?
- I don't want to talk to
him Selena, or see him.
I just need to know where he is.
- I don't believe you.
I've seen this way too
many times before, no.
I'm sorry, but no.
Cali, wait.
- I wanna show you something.
- Okay, what?
- You feeling it?
40 seconds, maybe less,
that's all you got baby.
You right with God
and everything, hmm?
You're seeing spots, hmm?
Tiny little explosions
like firecrackers,
way in the back of your corneas,
visions narrowing down,
tiny little pinprick.
Want me to countdown for you?
30, 29, 28, 27, 26, enough?
That's what it's like to die.
That guy, Starkey's friend,
that dude you were talking to
at the VFW, what was his name?
His name Calliope, what was it?
- I don't, I don't know.
- I think he liked you.
You can go out with
him, if you want to.
I mean, if you really want to.
- Hello.
- Hey, I was
thinking about stopping by
that new vegan Thai place on
my way home, you want anything?
- Yeah, pad Thai.
- Tofu, egg noodles, right?
- Yeah.
- And a ton of
hot stuff, I got it.
You want a Thai iced tea?
Hey, you okay?
- Um, no, just banged my
elbow on the gear shift.
No iced tea, thanks though.
- Okay, you home?
- I'll be home in
a few, I'm just out
running a couple errands.
- You doing okay?
- Yeah, yeah, just...
Um, shit.
- You okay?
- No, the batteries crapping
out, I'll see you in a bit.
- Mmm, okay.
- There's nothing I can
say to stop you, is there?
And you know that this
is really stupid, right?
I don't know where
he is, after...
You know, he just sort
of dropped off our radar.
You'll have to trust me on that.
- Okay.
- You need to know that
this could get me fired.
Alissa Kononen, she's a stand
up comic out of Brooklyn.
After you left, I
did a quick search.
She's on the road right
now, she's doing clubs
all across the country.
I don't have her number, but
if you're up for a drive,
she's performing down in
the Springs, this Saturday.
Maybe you could catch
her after the show.
She's his daughter.
Calliope, this cannot
come back on me, okay?
- Of course.
- Take care of yourself.
- Yeah, okay, I get.
No, I understand, I...
I do Kay, but...
Can't you just put
her on the pho...
All right, well at least
tell her happy birthday.
- Morning.
- Is it epilepsy?
- Epilepsy's a fairly useless
term, but no I don't think so.
Looky here.
Not a tumor, don't worry, it
appears to be a small lesion,
about the size of
your pinky nail.
And it appears to have
been there for some time.
Tell me, Calliope, have
you been seeing things,
or hearing voices, or
anything like that?
You know, there's no
percentage in not being
honest about this, Calliope.
Okay, well first
thing, no more TV.
Not until we get
this taken care of.
- What are the options?
- Well, considering the
seizures and hallucinations,
and whatnot, I'd say
we're pretty well past the
wait and see stage.
Now, I doubt this is
cancer, but we'll need to do
a biopsy to rule it out.
In the meantime, no
TV, try not to drive,
blah, blah, blah,
you know the drill.
Don't worry, this is nothing.
It's a little pit
stop, that's all.
Congratulations, by the way.
- It's okay Billy.
- What the fuck do
you know about it?
Shit, fuck, I'm sorry Cali.
I love you.
- We have rotted wood all
underneath the sink here.
- I found this.
Under the bed, Billy drew this?
- No.
That was somebody else.
- Calliope, you
need to talk to me.
- Roy, not right now.
- No, I've had enough of this.
Do you understand
what this is like?
Do you get it, at all?
I'm trying so hard, Cali,
to not think you're
just a fucking liar,
and everything you've
told me about yourself is
a fucking lie, and the life
we've been building together,
is a fucking lie.
- Roy...
- Are you a fucking liar, Cali?
Talk to me!
- Roy, you're hurting me!
- Calliope, fuck, I am...
- It's your birthday
next month, 18, wow.
We should do something,
have a party.
Oh wait I forgot,
that will never work,
you don't have any friends.
- Mom.
- You know, in a month,
you're gonna be an adult,
and then you can do
whatever the hell you want,
but while you're
here, in my house...
- Mom.
- You will do exactly...
- Just stop it.
- What?
- Just stop with the whole
concerned parent thing.
You don't do it very well.
- You're really something else,
after everything I have done...
You wanna go back to him?
- Dad?
- You know who I
mean, where were you?
- I told you.
- Yeah, your dads,
should I call him?
- Oh, I don't think I'm
supposed to have any of that.
- I made it weak.
So, tell me about Billy.
- She was gorgeous, I mean,
not movie gorgeous
or anything, just...
First thing I thought
when I saw her,
was how tired she was,
that nobody that young
should be so God damn tired.
She had these deep sunk
eyes, that just dug in
like corkscrews, and
this thin little mouth,
that I thought, I don't
know, I kind of thought,
I just wanted to kiss.
I always wanna fuck the
girls when I see them.
I can't seem to help it.
My eyes are words
straight to my prick,
doesn't matter who they are.
The first thing I think
when I see them is
how I wanna get them naked,
I wanna get them under me.
And I wanna fuck the God
damn shit out of them.
But with her, all I wanted is,
I just kind of wanted that kiss.
All I thought about for days.
I should've left
it there, I guess.
I thought she could
make me normal,
I've never been with
a normal girl before,
but I thought, I don't
know, maybe she could do it.
Maybe I could love her normal.
And then when she was gone,
I felt like my chest
was this big black cave.
I was 17 God damn years old,
and I felt like it was over.
I was dead.
I guess maybe that's why
they call me Dead Billy.
I know what you're thinking,
I know what you wanna
do, don't think I don't.
It's okay, you know.
Hey, look at me.
It's okay.
It's okay Cali, it's
okay, it's okay.
It's okay, it's okay.
- How long were you?
- I don't remember.
- Come on, I'm not
paying by the hour here.
- A long time, I think
they took me away.
- Who?
- A social worker, my mom.
I think I was 17
when they got me out.
- You know it wasn't
your fault, right?
Calliope, you were just a kid.
It wasn't your fault.
- You're lovely.
- Calliope.
- Roy, listen...
Listen to me.
I wanted to be there.
I'm not exactly
who you think I am.
- Please, don't do
this, I love you.
- I love you too.
- So, what about the drawing?
- It doesn't matter.
- Calliope!
- Look, I have to go somewhere,
to talk to somebody.
- Him?
- I don't know,
maybe, I hope not.
- I wanna go with you.
- I'm sorry.
- I don't understand this.
Do you still...
Do you still want him?
- I want the best environment
for her too, I do.
What am I doing, how
do you know that?
That's what I used to do Kay,
I'm trying to be a father now,
I'm trying to be a
member of a family,
and that's what you said...
- Bill, you better get
your ass in here before...
- That's all you talk about now.
I want to, I'd learned that.
No, that's what this is, I
know that, I know the legal.
God damn it Kay, she's
my fucking kid too.
Yeah, well, I'm not the one
who's being a cunt about it!
- Gotta listen to him shout
like that all the time?
- Don't fucking Bogart,
okay, this shit ain't cheap!
- Billy?
- You having a flashback Bill?
- Billy.
- Don't!
- Get out!
- Look at me.
Cali, look at me.
- What about your mom?
I got room, you know, if
you need a place, anything,
you know, no
strings, or nothing.
- I don't know, maybe.
- I'd really like to draw you.
What, I can draw.
- Billy?
- I'm sorry I scared you.
- It's okay, what happened?
What did she say to you?
- Don't leave, okay?
- What?
- You can kill me
if you want to,
slit my throat in my sleep or
something, just don't leave.
- I'm not going to
kill you Billy, Jesus.
And I'm not going anywhere,
you're stuck with me.
- Lovers and mad men have
such seething brains.
- Such shaping fantasies
that apprehend,
more than quarries,
it never comprehends.
- I live in this neighborhood,
and on the side of my house,
is all these Morning Glories.
Which is awesome, if you go
running at 7:00 in the morning,
I don't, but if you
did, you would see...
The morning glories
were just out,
like they haven't gotten
used to the weather.
- What you want?
- It's a two drink
minimum, lady.
- A glass of zen, I guess.
- All right guys, we
got a lot of show.
I'm Sarah Katie,
thank you very much.
- Did you come to party?
I fucking came to party
All right, bitches right!
We got two more bitches
for you tonight,
come in here, tell some
jokes, make you laugh.
This next bitch comes all
the way from New York,
fucking City, and if you ask me,
she is pretty full of
herself, so give it up for
the bitch, Melissa Kononen!
- Yeah, bitches, right.
Right, right, right.
Hey guys, so I'm
Melissa Kononen,
and I'm gonna ask
you how you're doing,
but please, do not
applaud, you can boo,
you can do whatever
you want, please,
just do what is in your heart.
How are you guys doing?
Uh, that's a little like...
It's not like aah, yeah,
that's like a medium.
So, if you ask me, you
probably don't give a fuck,
but I'm going to tell
you, I'm doing awful.
I woke up with a cold, and
I'm delirious at this point,
and to be honest, I'm kind
of loving it right now,
having this cold, because
it's my own little portable
disease, that I get to
take with me everywhere,
it's all mine, not
yours, it's mine,
my disease, mine, mine, mine!
And I get to sleep
with it in the night,
I'm like oh, it's my cold,
oh disease, you're okay,
you're mine, oh I get
to cuddle with you.
I had vegan chili earlier,
and it gave me heartburn.
And I didn't like it, you
know what else I hate?
I hate it when nice dudes
refuse to call women cunts.
You know, specifically
this woman, because um,
if you don't call me a cunt,
I'm gonna find someone else
who will, and they
will probably suck.
- You're weird!
- Oh, great, woo!
Like this guy right here,
he fits the description,
how you doing man?
- Tell a joke all ready.
- What's your name?
Come on, what's your name?
- Um, Dave.
- Oh, Dave, that's
your real voice?
When you're not
putting a voice on,
you're like ugh, um,
Dave, hey um Dave.
So, call me a fucking
cunt right now.
Call me a fucking cunt,
do it, we're all waiting!
We're all waiting
for you um Dave,
we're all waiting for you
to call me a fucking cunt,
so call me a fucking cunt!
I heard you earlier,
come on, do it.
Don't worry about
her, she won't mind,
she likes it, she likes
when you call her a cunt,
so why don't you
do it to me man?
Call me a fucking cunt, no?
All right, fine, whatever,
just being a pussy.
See all you nice guys
out there, please,
just do me a favor,
call me a fucking cunt,
when I'm being a fucking cunt.
So I can stop hearing it
from abusive assholes.
Okay, nope, you know what
I also don't understand?
What's really wrong with
fucking your cousin.
- Four sugars!
- Sorry.
- Jesus Cali, how
many times I have to...
- I'm sorry, Billy.
- What the fuck is
wrong with you anyway?
You, go, go!
- No, he's 66 years
old, but he drinks pee.
The thing is, so I don't
know, just looking at him,
makes me wonder if
it works because,
they say it helps your
body diagnose sicknesses,
if you don't drink caffeine,
or alcohol, or eat meat...
- Hi, how you doing, oh wow
look at this, that is my face.
Cunt face, there you are.
- Thank you.
- Use protection.
Well, that was shit.
- It was precious.
- Oh, fuck you.
- Got another one.
- Lovely.
- Water, no ice, please.
Hi.
You were really good.
- Can I have that?
Mmm.
- Fuck you Alyssa.
- Do I know you?
- Um, kind of.
- Oh, fuck.
- None of this is
real by the way,
but actually, it is all real.
- Yo, this your ride?
- Yeah.
- Toss me the keys, I
wanna show you something.
So, I assume it's no coincidence,
you showing up here?
- No.
- Oh fuck yeah, this is my jam!
Fucking cunt!
What the fuck?
- Alyssa?
- What?
- What was it you
wanted to show me?
- What?
- What was it you
wanted to show me?
- Oh, honey, let's
get fucked up first!
Come on.
Hey, look at me, are you okay?
Once every three or four months,
but we'd never do anything,
he'd just stand there, and look.
When I was younger, I
pretended like I was asleep,
like I knew it was
creepy or whatever,
but I didn't know why, and
then when I got a little older
I would stare right back at
him, never told him to leave.
And he'd still just,
you know, stand there.
Anyway, I told my mom.
Yeah, a few years ago, she
called me a lying little bitch.
Billy was never so bad.
At least he didn't stare.
You know, he tried to kill
himself after you left, right?
He said he was gonna
go jump off a bridge.
And that was about
the time he started
calling me all the fucking
time, and leaving these,
like, long ass messages,
and sometimes he'd cry.
Then, you know, I mean,
he called me to tell me
that you came back, after that,
he didn't call me anymore.
Did you find him
sexy or something?
- Yeah, I did.
- Oh, that's weird, what
do you even know about him?
- He said he fought in Vietnam.
- Really?
- He said he was
in Danang for a year.
- Billy said a lot of things.
He told my mom that he made
a fortune selling rare coins.
He told me that he was a
rough Necker in California,
and that he shat,
shot, I'm sorry,
he shot a guy in the
back of the head,
because the guy broke
into his apartment,
and was trying to stab
him in the kidney.
And he said that he went to
that guys grave to piss on it,
but it was Memorial Day,
and there were like...
There were all
these people around,
so he settled for
just spitting on it.
He didn't tell you
that story, did he?
What are you doing
here, little Cali?
- I need to find him.
- Why?
He's dead, I mean,
probably, right?
I mean, you wanna
know what I think?
You probably don't, but
I'm gonna tell you anyway.
I think that you miss him.
I think that you love him.
- I...
You don't know
what he did to me.
- What he did to you.
Come on, I was gonna show
you something, come on.
See this tree here?
My mom, she hated Billy,
and then when I told her
about my step dad, you
know, just staring,
she hated him too,
but not at first.
She didn't believe me at first.
Then she thought about it,
and my step dad dropped dead
one day, while mowing the lawn.
I was away, she was alone.
I told her about what he did
to me and then I left her.
I was gone when
she drove out here,
and she sat at the
base of this tree.
She had my step dad's pistol.
Billy wasn't
serious, but she was.
What did you do to him Cali?
- What?
- What did you do to him?
I mean, you went back right?
And my mom was dead, and
I thought he and I could,
I don't know, I don't
know, work on things maybe.
He was the only fucking
family that I had left.
What the fuck.
- Stop!
- Cali, look at me.
You can go out with
him, if you want to.
I mean, if you really want to.
- Should I call him?
- Mom, shut...
- What the hell
is wrong with you?
Him, and then this man,
is that who you wanna be?
- You wanna go back to him?
Okay, go ahead, I'm not
gonna stop you, go, go, go!
- You okay?
- No.
- So, do you wanna
talk about it?
You know what I used to
do when I first started?
I just shut my eyes,
and go away somewhere.
Some place where I could
be anybody other than me.
Not like a movie star or
anything, just a wife, maybe.
And a mom.
I'd see myself in
a suburb somewhere,
working from home as a graphic
designer, interior decorator.
I used to draw, I was
pretty good at it.
Anyway, something like that.
I'd have three kids, twin
boys, and a little girl.
Her name would be Emma
Rose, and the boys would
be called Jack and Joshua.
My husband would work
in real estate, David,
but I'd call him
Dee, a handsome guy,
sort of soft, skinny with a
little potbelly, weak eyes.
I always had a thing
for guys in glasses.
He'd come home early
from work sometimes,
and we'd take the
kids out to dinner.
Nothing fancy, Chuck E Cheese,
wherever the kids wanted to go.
Our five year anniversary,
he'd take me to this little,
this little bed and breakfast
up in the mountains,
and we'd wander the
streets, and window shop.
Afterwards, go back
up to the hotel room
and make love for
hours, by candlelight.
He'd always be gentle.
In the morning, he'd
give me this little pair
of diamond stud earrings.
All he could afford
without taking out a loan,
so nothing all that
special, but nice, lovely.
Our life would be lovely.
So that's what I think about
when the men would be doing,
you know, what they'd be doing.
And it helped, for a while,
for a while I thought
it may even still be possible.
He could still be
out there, my Dee,
and maybe we could still meet.
And he could give me my
lovely little life somewhere,
where I could be somebody else.
This is it, I'd say.
This guy, this hundred bucks,
I'm done, I'm getting out.
Now I can barely
remember what he was
supposed to look like, my Dee.
He left this out here, he
didn't want you to see it.
He told me to be gone
before you woke up.
He's never gonna get
any better, Cali.
Cali, none of this is ever
going to get any better.
- Ma'am, can you hear me?
Nod if you understand.
Need you to follow my fingers
without moving your head.
- Was it, I don't know, was
it a stroke or something?
- I see no evidence
of a concussion,
or any other lasting damage,
so you're free to go.
Do you have someone who
can come pick you up?
- So, there's nothing more
you can tell us, Ma'am?
Ma'am, you're sure there's
nothing more you can tell us?
- Cali, I'm here to help you.
Do you understand?
Your mom's on her way.
- Not her.
- It isn't up to you Cali.
- What are you
gonna do with him?
- He's going to jail.
- Ma'am, if this
was your boyfriend,
we have resources that
we can help you with.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- What?
- I'm, I'm sorry.
- It's not your fault,
I should have known better.
I don't know what the
fuck I was thinking.
- I, um...
- What?
- Can I still...
Can I come to your place?
- Didn't you all
ready leave him once?
I'm sorry, I thought...
I don't know, I don't
know what I thought.
I don't need this
shit, okay, good luck.
- Roy.
- We're sorry,
you have reached a number
that has been disconnected
or is no longer in service.
If you feel you have reached
this recording in error,
please check the number
or try your call again.
We're sorry...
I've got something for you
Oh, don't turn me down
Leave me cold and blue
Don't break my heart
- Cali, look at me.
- We didn't.
- I know.
You're beautiful, you know that?
You need to know that there
was never anyone else but me.
I love you.
- I love you too.
- Roy?
- I've been thinking,
and if you want,
we could, you know, have
him over some night.
I mean, only if you want.
You two, obviously, I mean...
It could be hot, right?
Oh fuck it, look, if you want,
we'll have him over, and you
know, you two can do whatever.
You were cool with Selena,
I can be cool with this.
If you want, I
could be way cool.
Jesus, not too much, okay?
You only need a pinch
to bring out the flavor.
Anyway, Cali.
- So what's next Cali?
Calliope, okay, you know what,
you can give me the silent
treatment, if you want,
that's fine, I'm gonna call him.
You know what else, I'm
gonna tell him he can
fuck you for a 100 bucks.
50, if he lets me watch.
- Look at me Cali.
Look at me.
Look at me!
- Morning.
- You're a lying little bitch.
- You...
- Oh my God, oh my God.
Oh my God, oh my God, shit.
I gotta call somebody!
- Now, say you're sorry.
- I'm sorry.
- Good, I forgive you.
It's good to see you.
You remember, remember
that song I wrote for you.
How did that go?
Your stars are
fire, you stop the sun
The truth of me may be a liar
But never doubt my love
You know, I never wanted...
I sorry, I'm fucking
this up, God damn it.
You know, I've always
known it was wrong,
the whole you and me thing.
I didn't want it to be, it was.
But it was, I just,
I wanted you so much.
And I really wanted it to
be different this time,
I thought that maybe you could,
you were my chance to...
Ah shit, I don't know.
So, I guess maybe,
I made things worse.
I told myself all
the usual things,
how you were mature,
you were an old soul,
whatever the fuck,
you were a kid.
I should never have...
So anyway, I guess, I think
I sort of took it out on you.
But I did love you,
I do love you, you...
Jesus Christ Cali, you
were the best thing that
ever happened to me,
and I fucked it up.
- No, no you didn't.
When you're through with me
When your heart aches
When your head spins
When you tempt me
When you finish me
When you cut me
When you kill me
When you forgive me
We did.
When you want to hold me
If you bury me
If you lose me
Don't say the word
Don't waste your time
Don't expect me
Just get rid of me
Just break me
Okay.
- I'm gonna get your nose.
- No, I'll bite your nose off.
- No hands.
I have something for you.
- Uh huh, what?
Now that the stars are on fire,
thou that the sun doth move.
Doubt truth to be a liar,
but never doubt my love.
I'm sorry Billy,
but I've gotta go.