(Radio jingle).
106.8 FM Newcastle Talk Radio.
Well if you are out and about in
Newcastle tonight it's a balmy
early morning twelve degrees
and later today
the temperature is set to hit
twenty-five degrees.
(Radio jingle).
This Sam Stuart your night-time
host
on Newcastle Talk Radio.
Thanks to Jane for her
story about the pigeons in the
city.
Next we have Pam on the line
from London.
I can hear the damn
pigeons.They are in the loft
now.
I can Hear them, I can.
e been feeding them haven't you
Pam? You know you only have
yourself to blame.
Everyone thinks this is funny.
But what should I do with them?
We have an email here from
Mark in Birtley. Apparently
they go well on toast.
See what I mean Sam?
So what else is going on in
London tonight?
I'm surprised we are getting
all these pigeon calls.
Well people are for them or
against them.
There is passion here Sam. We
are Londoners.
Well we are certainly
hearing a lot about them
tonight.
How did you come across us?
How did you find us?
I thought you would never ask!
Now you don't want me
saying what we have in common
on air do you?
No one would believe me anyway.
I see. Well Pam that will
be our little secret. Thanks
for calling.
We will have to leave it there
as we are now coming up to the
two-am news.
After the news we have
Geoff Stuart to see you through
to five-am.
I'll be back tonight at eleven.
Take care, see you then.
- Hi.
- Hiya.
- How was the show?
- Good, good.
Any problems?
No no, none at all.
Loads of calls about pigeons
though.
Alright okay. See you.
e you did something around here.
I'll have a cuppa please. one sugar.
You cheeky git. I never stop!
What do you mean you never stop?
of hours at the radio station.
You do sod-all round here.
Do you know how stressful my
job is?
Stress? You don't know the
meaning of the word.
You ought to try walking
the streets round here through
the day.
What are you a man or a mouse?
Squeak.
y it's not that it's stressful.
It's just those staff
just give me such grief.
There is something not right
with those kids.
Kids exactly!
You are getting stressed over a
bunch of kids!
It's not that it's just . . .
They know who's boss.They know
I lead, it's just . . .
Something's not right.
I just can't put my finger on
it.
You don't let me get away with
anything round here
so how the bloody hell can
you let a bunch of kids get the
best of you?
You don't understand. And that
Emily. What a bitch!
What do you mean a bitch?
How can you not control them?
The way you go on at me it's a
miracle you let them get away
with anything.
Its not that. They know who the
boss is.
They know I'm a manager. They
know I lead.
It's just something is not
right with them.
I will get to the bottom of
it. I really will.
ok at the way you are going on.
I can't believe you. Getting
stressed over a couple of kids.
You don't understand. Honestly.
It's just weird.
Cheeky little bastards that
they are!
Afternoon boss.
Alright Billy. Come in I have a
few jobs I need you to sort out
for me today.
So don't worry about that
footballer.
I'll call it with the
boys and girls, it will be
sorted.
ht okay. When you have done that
will you call at Mrs
Anderson's as well?
If she doesn't pay today
grab the telly, the DVD,
anything.
She needs to pay something
today.
Number twenty-three isn't it?
-Yeah.
-Alright done.
Okay. See you later pal.
I don't know you only
spend a couple of hours at
that bloody radio station.
Why don't you spend
a couple of hours cleaning this
place up?
I mean look at the state of it!
Roger.
What now?
You couldn't get us a top-up
could you?
You are a cheeky git.
I can't believe the front
you've got.
That little twerp Wayne
had better of passed on the
message on.
That fucking radio station.
Bastards.
Good morning.
This is Jess Edwards.
Your early morning agony aunt.
Feel free to call in
about your personal and private
problems.
Before I forget Diane wants all
here.
Six o'clock tomorrow morning.
She's a right cow.
I hate getting away this late.
It's the sun. Gives us
headaches.
Same here. Don't worry. I won't
be arsed.
Oh you're so strong Sam!
She's a stuck up cow anyway.
Let her come in to meet shit.
I'm with you.
I'm owed time and if I'm not I
probably should be.
You're joking! Sam she'll do
her nut.
You already missed
her first poxy meeting on
Wednesday.
She did say there are going to
be some changes
so we are either for her or
against her.
Nothing important then.
Anyway I'm going
to go or this will start to
seem like work.
You twats! I'm stuck
covering the desk until Tom
'till six-am.
Emily's been off for a long
time.
Oh yeah!
Give me strength.
Just be your usual charming
self Wayne.
Come in with me Sam.
It's not a good idea.
I'll see you later.
You can't keep denying you love
me Sam.
I won't let you.
Look I don't want to hurt you
and I'm good at doing that to
people.
Look I know you're divorced.
But I know how you really feel.
Sam you don't fool me.
I'm not trying to fool you.
I would be no good for you.
Let me decide on that.
Come in with me Sam please.
Look don't do this Emily. I
can't.
Who do they think they are!
No one messes with me.
Sodding bloody Newcastle Talk
Radio Station.
Bloody bunch of arseholes.
Bloody sick of that bloody
place.
Bloody pig sick of the bunch of
cheeky bastards.
No one messes with me.
Stupid twatting birds!
Shit and bird seed all over the
bloody place.
All these bloody weeds
everywhere.
I can't bloody get rid of them
all.
I'm sick and tired of this.
I don't believe it!
Just tell us if they give you
any more shit babe.
Nobody, but nobody messes with
my woman.
Leave them to me.
You're just a debt collector.
I'm a manager and I lead.
Now just you remember that.
Now take that twit
Billy with you and go and
collect some debts.
After all how else is a woman
supposed to live.
Are where exactly are those two?
Don't tell me they are not here?
I take it you told them like I
said?
Yeah they send their love.
Do you think you're funny.
Now let me explain.
That was a rhetorical
question so don't try and
answer me back.
Now you may be thick,
so let me explain this slowly
for you little boy.
I run this place!
Not you, not him and not his
floozy.
Emily and Sam you mean?
Who else?
make it my business to find out
what deviance is going on
around here
and then I rout it out.
Okay, okay.
Oh sorry I didn't realise you
were mentally retarded.
Helps to work here.
Work!
You don't have a girl do you?
Well you won't be getting one
either,
because who would want
some soon to be out of work
looser like you?
I take that's formal notice of
end of our contract is it?
Just tell them I will be in
later tonight because what I
have to say
will make it so worth while.
Bye then.
Just whose diseased prick did
you dribble off the end of?
Do you know someone
has left another paper cup over
there?
I keep telling them about that.
No one gets away with showing
disrespect to me
No one!
Just who the fuck so you think
you are?
Mr Clarkson?
- Sir?
- What is your report?
It's in hand Sir.
In hand? What do you mean it's
in hand?
It's just that they don't scare
easily.
Look I can't make it much
clearer.
I didn't send you in there for
your pretty face.
I'm sick of this undercover
crap.
All we do is chase shadows.
I bet they are not anyway.
Use your personality
disorder and that misfit
boyfriend you picked up
and push them to expose their
secret.
What about my safety if they
are?
Well I take it you're prepared?
Oh Yes.
Then if our suspicions
are confirmed you know what to
do.
Sergeant Handyside?
Yeah look she is stressed and
under pressure.
Let's increase surveillance.
I want to really know what is
going on in there.
This will swipe the smirk off
their face.
Roger. It's me.
Forget what I said earlier.
I've got a job for you.
Take down this address.
Another day shift again.
I much prefer nights.
I know we have adapted to the
day but I would rather work a
night anytime.
Ah look Kevin stop whinging
will you?
Look we've all got to
go to work you know. Day or
night shift.
We are going out tomorrow. I
can't wait.
Well you could look forward to
it. I mean
I've been planning for ages and
I've spent a lot of money.
Whatever.
I'm off to work.
I love you.
See you then.
Haway then.
What's the matter?
Looks as if you have been
crying.
I'm alright it's nothing.
Well clearly there is
something.
So what's the matter then?
Nothing I'm fine.
Bollocks.
Look it's just Kevin.
You are not happy are you?
No not really it's what
I thought it was going to be
to be honest.
doing wrong? What's the matter?
- Oh what is he doing right?
I thought things were happy
anyway?
Well so did I.
But?
I don't know. I've
just got other things going on
in my mind.
And he hasn't even
done anything wrong it's me
being just . . .
What?
Awful to him all the time.
And he's trying his best and
everything he does just
irritates more and more.
You don't want to be with him
do you?
I'm not being funny but I've
noticed it myself.
ou're not happy. If you are not
happy you are going to have to.
You are just going to have to
tell him.
Because it's not fair on you
and to be honest with you it's
not fair on him either.
He's trying his best as well
but he must know there's
something wrong.
Like when he left just then
before you came he didn't even
like call in
to the kitchen to
say goodbye or give us a kiss
or anything.
But then that's my fault
because
I'm not really encouraging
him to come and kiss us and
cuddle us.
He probably thinks
I'll bite is head off or
something but . . .
But why? What are
you being nasty to him for
then is it just . .
I don't know I feel like a bit
. . .
Can I be honest with you?
It might be kinda a bit of a
long shot.
But I think you still have
feelings for Sam.
It's just the way you
are with him. I personally I
can see it.
e you are not happy with Kevin.
I know you are not happy with
Kevin.
I'm not happy with Kevin but I
mean . . .
Do you still like Sam though?
say anything. Honestly it will
not go no further or anything
like that.
I know that might sound
terrible but
honestly just the way you are
around each other.
And you have got
such a nasty aggression towards
Emily.
Kevin was a perfect option for
us then
and he's exactly like that now.
So it seems strange that I want
to
go back to something that I
wanted to leave.
probably 'cause you just wanted
a change and now you have had
that change.
I'll be honest with you it's
not for the better like.
It's just tink he is a bit of a
bore.
tries to . . . he resites poems.
- Sorry I know that sound
horrible but . . .
Which I know some people find
lovely.
But you know me,
I'm not that type of
lovey-dovey person . . .
Don't you think he is boring?
Haway!
He's not boring, he's stable.
describe him as a stable person.
- Stable? He's a lunatic.
But he would make
someone a lovely husband. But
just not me.
Bastards!
You stupid person don't you
know which way
- you are going!
- I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!
I'll get you!
I'll get you!
Bitch!
It's really nice. A nice view.
Ah it's beautiful. A beautiful
city.
The bridge looks good from here.
I've never been here before.
Well I said I was going to
give you an experience today.
It's a nice spoon.
Is that an ashtray?
No. They are baking tins.
Alright I thought it looked
like an ashtray.
Is that used?
No it's for you when your going
round.
Alright. Who uses video?
Oh loads of people.
That's another twenty pounds!
Hiya. Can I get some beef liver
please?
Yes certainly how much would
you like?
Just a pound.
One-seventeen please.
Well shall we go to the Baltic
next?
Yeah, if you want. Do you
want to go for some drinks or
something?
I'm so glad. Really I put
a lot of expense and thought
into it.
Yes it was really nice Kevin.
It's been a lovely day for it.
Nice weather.
Are you okay? You seem not with
me.
Kevin I'm fine. I'm just tired
that's all.
I've been really busy at work
and
you just keep asking
us questions and trying too
hard.
We are all busy at work though.
I know I am busy.
Yeah well right. You know, lets
just enjoy today.
And just stop asking
us so many questions. Let's
just leave it.
I just don't think that you are
totally with me today.
I just think your mind's in a
different place.
I think you are thinking about
something else.
Or maybe even somebody else.
Well what is that supposed to
mean?
Nothing forget I ever said it.
- No come on come on what's
that supposed to mean?
Nothing, it doesn't matter.
Kevin you can't say something
like that
and not expect me to ask what
you're talking about.
Well no come on Kevin!
No I didn't mean it.
Kevin you can't say something
like that
and then expect me
just to not ask what you are
talking about.
You are thinking about him
aren't you?
About who?
You know who. I'm not even
going to say his name.
Right well Kevin we
may as well just cancel the
whole day now
because I'm not
going to walk around all day
with you
knowing that you think
I'm apparently thinking about
someone else.
it I've got other stuff planned.
- Right well put your card on
the table.
at is the matter? What's wrong?
Who am I supposed to be
thinking about.
I think you are thinking about
Sam.
What like my ex-husband Sam?
There's only one Sam isn't
there?
Are you, you are not serious?
Are you serious Kevin?
Very serious.
Are you actually serious?
Yeah. I'm serious. I've said it.
Do you really think I
would have gone through all
that crap with him
getting divorced to get with
you and be with you now here
today married.
If I wanted to be with Sam?
Well I just think I'm always
trying my best.
Well that's it you
are always trying and trying
and trying.
Can you not just live for the
moment.
and enjoy each other rather
than constantly be on me back
all the time?
ways feel like I am second best.
- You are not second best to
anyone Kevin.
To him.
Kevin look right yes I've got
feelings for Sam.
Of course I've got feelings for
Sam
we used to be married for years
and you know
but it's not like I have got
for you.
know it is really good as well.
I'm really glad that you are
friends.
Well good because it is just
friendship.That's all.
I'm glad I'm glad you're
friends.
Well I hope you are.
I don't want to feel
uncomfortable
around Sam every time we are
together.
Well I think of him as one of
my best friends anyway.
Well if you think like that
then I don't understand
why you would have these
thoughts?
He's like a brother to me.
Really.
I love him.
Really.
I love him.
Sorry.
You are. You are allowed to
smile.
Sam.
You know you changed me all
those years ago?
Well, why did you do it?
I was cruel then.
I'm so sorry.
Are you really sorry?
Because we wouldn't be here now.
Emily, Emily, I don't . . .
You just need
to be able to show your
feelings Sam.
I know how much
it hurts for you to open up
your heart.
is where the little twat lives.
Let's just get this over with.
How can anyone live in a shit
hole like this?
He needs a slapping
for that alone. It's not
bleeding natural.
Aw bugger off!
You just want me to put
frighteners on him boss?
Can't we give
him a good kicking while you
are at it?
Suits me. You see that is the
trouble with women.
A thousand words where one
would do.
They get into these boss jobs.
And then need
us men to sort out the mess for
them.
Don't you diss my women either.
Sorry boss. Only joking!
Yes, me too.
So we don't owe him then boss?
Oh he owes me alright.
Anyone who dissis my woman
dissis me.
Yeah that is right out of order
boss!
Right this is his hole.
Watch what you are treading in.
Wayne eh?
It is Yeah.
Hello Sonny. Who's been a
cheeky boy then?
We knows what happens to cheeky
boys don't we?
To be honest I think you've got
the wrong place.
Wrong place you little shite!
It's the wrong fucking place
alright!
That's what I thought. Okay?
You diss my women and now
you're dissing me!
What he's your woman?
Diane was right.
You are a little twerp who
needs a big lesson!
Are so you're Diane's new bloke.
He's doing it again boss.
Do you think there's something
wrong with him?
There's something wrong with
him alright.
Okay.
Next time you pop round yeah?
I'll tell you what let us know
and I'll put the kettle on for
you alright?
Aw I told you to bugger off
and that wouldn't have happened.
Daft old git.
I bet it's going to busy again
tonight.
Fighting, drugs, O.D.'s.
It'll be the same usual Friday
night.
Yeah you said before. It's
always getting busier.
Something has been odd though.
Since that new manager Diane
came in.
Yeah I want to find out about
her.
Do you think Sam can keep
control there?
Well he had better.
I don't want Diane finding out
anything.
Look the pub's just up here
I'll just pull in.
I'll not be long.
Just pull in.
Hi.
You still making a bit of a
habit of this then?
Of course.
And anyone would think we were
still married.
So how's Dr Dolittle?
Kevin? Well he is worried.
Look in a way we are still
married.
And any problem
for you is problem for me and
the rest.
Problem? There's no problem.
What? So you think
getting pissed before work is
normal?
It helps when I think about
what I am.
What we all are. So why are you
here?
Look I know you love Emily.
Why don't you just admit it?
You were strong once.
Strong I can't handle it.
I don't want the feeling. Not
again.
It's like a sickness.
Your emotions will get us all
found out!
Look Emily's young
and naive just keep her at a
distance.
And keep off the bottle.
You always were melodramatic
Jenny.
What do you know about Diane?
Stuff her! She's no threat.
Watch my lips - Diane.
Why a new manager so soon?
What's her agenda. Are they
onto us?
I can handle it. We all just
ignore her.
Are you listening to me?
Do I have a choice?
So what if they find out?
What! It's unthinkable!
New jobs, new identities.
Owing favours to other cells
like us?
Shit happens!
Me and Kevin don't want to be
doing a runner.
And neither do you Wayne or
Emily.
Look just cut the denial and
cut the drink now!
Just cool it. There's
no problem I haven't dealt with
before.
New managers have come and
gone.
She's different Sam. Under
stress people crack!
Why a change in management so
soon?
Look I'll keep an eye on things.
Well lets meet tomorrow.
Let's not.
Get a grip Sam. Look I'm off.
Take care.
Same again Bob.
And another for the plant.
Sorry mate I owe you one.
The boss wanted me to meet
her new bloke and I was a
little held up.
You three live in such a dodgy
place I'm surprised
you are here in one piece
never mind late. And Diane's
got it in for you.
Isn't she cute?
For God's sake Emliy
I'm going on the sodding air
in a minute.
I'm trying to run a show love.
A fate worse than death Wayne
pet.
Thanks to Jonathan Miles for
the news at one-am.
So how's the news affect you?
Petrol prices increase
but electric cars are as hard
to get as ever.
Sorry about that folks.
Diane our new station manager
was attacking me.
But I've put her back in her
cage.
So are you being ripped off
or have you found a different
way around?
Started cycling perhaps? Ring
in to have your say.
Give us a shag.
Stop it Emily this is getting
serious.
I am serious.
John has emailed us.
He says the future is in air
compression cars.
Well they should certainly go
with a bang.
Well thanks for calling Dave.
It's now coming up to two-am.
And we will be going
across to the news with
Johnathan Miles.
After that Jess Edwards
will be here with you through
to five-am.
From me goodnight.
Now give us a shag.
No and that's my last word.
You just have to unwrap me.
No we've got to be
professional.
The lives of our group are at
stake.
I've got no knickers on.
Go on Harder!
- Harder you bastard!
- Fuck!
Harder you bastard.
What the?
PIss off bitch he hasn't
finished yet!
Do you know what the hell
they're doing in there?
Er yeah. I kinda grasped the
concept at school.
Biology I think.
You're both finished!
In fact you can
both get the hell out of here
right now!
Don't you dare stop or I'll
claw you to pieces.
You filthy little cow! Get out
of here! Come on get out!
Get out!
Get out!
Oh I am sorry Sam.
You should be
I will tell them to sack you
on Monday.
You don't need to sorry.
That was one of the best shags
I've had in a long time.
That does it! Absolutely does
it!
You pigs!
Deprives filthy pigs!
No wonder you all live in such
a shithole!
And Roger told me about you
trying it on with him and
Billy! What were you on?
ll be back you know! And I won't
need to sack you because you
are already dead!
Don't you pick on him cow!
Get out of here you little slut!
Go on. Get out!
Don't any of you think about
going after her.
She can go to hell! You all can!
On Monday you're all history!
Dead air! Dead air!
Rejoice! Thank you so much!
You've all been wonderful!
Sorry. I'm so sorry.
Sorry!
Sorry I'm so sorry!
Sorry I'm so sorry.
What's happened to you Emily?
I messed up.
Sorry.
Tell me. What's happened?
It's Diane.
I lost control.
I bit her.
It's alright. You're okay now.
Yeah but I've messed up haven't
I?
We are all going to have to go
and run away again.
And hide.
I'm so sorry.
Come on. Let's go inside and
get you sorted.
Look at the bloody time you've
been there for half the bloody
day already.
Is that blood? What's happened?
Come on!
Oi!
Is that blood on you?
What the bloody hell has
happened to you what have you
been doing?
Who's done this to you?
Come on tell me! I want to
know now!
e you going to tell me or what?
What's happening what's been
going on?
Are you going to
tell me who's done this to you
or what?
I'll sort the bastards.
Just let me know who's done
this to you.
What's going . . .
I don't believe it you filthy
skank!
The state of that!
The state of you! Come on!
What's been going on?
There's no need for that. Look
at the clip of you?
Blood everywhere!
Something's happened are you
going to tell me what's been
going on or not?
Eh?
What the . . . What the f . . .
Yoink!
Stop! Give it back!
No man, come and get me!
Aargh!
Thanks.
There you go.
Thanks very much.
How did you manage to catch him
as quick?
Probably smokes.
Now are you alright for
getting home?
I am but why don't you come
and have a cup of tea with me
and a biscuit?
Alright then. Come on.
He got it off us because
he somehow just appeared behind
me.
Scary.
It's okay.
He's showed us up. All of us.
It's alright we will get him
back.
No it's not he showed us up.
- It's okay we'll get him back.
- No it's not he showed us up!
We are going to get him and
that old lady back.
I know where she lives.
We are going to get that lady
and get her boyfriend.
Let's go guys.
Would you like another biscuit?
No I've really got to be
going.
Go on have another biscuit.
Go on just have one more.
Alright then. Thank you.
Come on old lady! Come on old
lady! Come out!
What's that?
Oh it's not them hoodies again
is it?
Haway lads lets gan!
Coming to get you!
This was my husband's favourite
one.
Come out!
Oh she's got a golf club!
- It's me.
- It's about time. Where've you
been?
Look you said you wanted to
speak to us.
What is it?
Well Wayne said that Diane
caught you and Emily.
How can you do that?
Do you know what that does to
me?
We're divorced remember?
I told you to show your feeling
Sam.
Not just fuck her at work!
We didn't plan it. It just
happened.
It's not Diane's feelings I'm
worried out it's us.
I'm not going back to a
bohemian existence for anyone!
I hope you don't mind me
joining you two, but I could
hear you upstairs.
I was just telling Sam how
stupid he is!
Why do you never listen to
anything?
I need some fucking sleep!
For God's sake!
Us mortals got work in the
morning.
For crying out loud
I just wish you could just
fucking piss off!
Who's that?
Does she know about us?
That's Ann. That's our lodger.
She's very discreet.
It's one of is ex-patients.
For fuck's sake Jenny!
You talk to me about taking
risks!
we have all just got to keep our
heads clear and hopefully this
will all blow over.
All it takes is one
silver bullet. One fire, one
mob attack.
Yeah we do recover from
injuries but there is a limit.
That's what I have to tell you.
There's a reason why I came
here alone.
And what's that?
Well I didn't want you going
for Emily.
Stop being cryptic Sam.
What are you trying to say?
Emily's bitten Diane.
e has recovered really quickly.
She is one of us now.
The stupid bitch!
The stupid little bitch.
We don't even know if she's one
of the hunters.
She was with them. She came to
speak to me.
How can you be talking so calmy
about this?
Doesn't the prospect
of no longer being the sodding
undead
and being in the dead bother
you?
Hey! I know you don't I?
You're that little slut from
the radio station.
Where's Wayne?
Come on!
You go around like a bunch of
school kids.
Tell us where he is and we
might leave you alone.
You heard the boss, speak up or
get a slapping!
What's this? Been shopping have
we girlie?
Aargh! That's disgusting!
What kind of bird are you?
Well I've had a bad day
and I needed some comfort food.
You cheeky little bitch! That
does it!
Get her guys!
Viv get her!
Go on! Go on Girlie!
Go on!
Bitch.
You sort her! Go on!
Come on get her!
What are you waiting for man!
It's only a woman! Kill her!
Go on you whimp get in!
Hello Two this is Sunray.
We have a situation. Meet at
R.V.
seven-hundred-zulu over.
(Over radio).
Two received, out.
Sunray out.
How's your woman boss!
None of your sodding business!
Sorry Billy.
s in a strange mood. She's been
hanging round the bedroom being
all feisty, being odd.
I don't know what's up with
her.
Now if you reflect back on what
you've done,
would you say you have learned
anything?
Sorry Sam.
Well at least you didn't have a
nibble this time!
Well Diane was fitter.
Yeah, I suppose so.
Where are you going?
- The station.
- You're early.
I know I've got to plan for
the show. See you later.
Want a beer?
No thanks boss that's enough
for me.
Get them sunglasses off
and get us something to eat
will you?
Aw that's foul!
I think she is on the stuff too
boss!
You can cut that crap out right
now.
Shit! Not again!
Not again!
Hey it's been a bad day boss.
What the frigging hell are they
all on!
Bloody hell I know red meat
can be good for you but that's
ridiculous.
I don't fancy any of that boss.
Me sodding car!
h it Sam! They're all the same.
- Can you hear that?
country's going to pieces mate.
- Me belly!
Hanging around in gangs!
Drinking and smoking pot.
Loutish and indecent behaviour!
Simon, I must clarify
that he was only arrested for
being drunk.
And there no evidence
that the rest of the Cabinet
were involved.
But they are supposed to be
running the country!
No wonder unemployment
and house repossessions are so
high!
They blame the global
recession and the bankers.
you are probably spot on there.
- Filthy druggy wasters!
As drunk as skunks!
Shoot them all that's I say!
- Okay well thanks for your
call. Do call again.
Not too soon.
What a tosser!
Does he not know
what's like to have a problem?
He's the one that should be
shot.
Fuck him!
What are we going to do with
that Sam?
Have you kept giving her coffee
like I said?
Well what's wrong with her?
She's the best station manager
we've ever had!
Pissed out of her box
twenty-four seven.
Suits me.
Emily you are going
to have to look at the wider
picture.
I mean think of the reaction
peoples going to have
when they, you know,
find out that we and she are
all vampires.
I've been trying to find out
more about the man who sent her
here.
And?
No joy. She has been too
pissed since to make any sense.
Look what one of your nibbles
has done.
You need to keep your fangs to
yourself Emily.
I felt like I was being
followed earlier.
Someone would have to be brave
to follow you.
I will check out with
Kevin and Jenny later this
morning.
and see if they have noticed
anything.
When she is sober
enough take her home to annoy
Roger.
That was a busy night shift.
That hospital gets busier by
the day.
Stop it Kevin! What's the
matter with you?
Well you know.
It's that time of the month
when we . . .
you know, get up to things.
In your dreams!
Anyway I've got a busy day
planned.
How busy?
Busy enough.
I've got an
appointment with Father
Matthews at four.
And then Sam's coming round.
What! God!
Isn't it a bit weird for you
to go to church when being a
vampire?
You just keep your spiciest
comments to yourself.
I'm a sentient being and
I'll choose which ever
spiritual pathway I like.
Well you said you were going
to keep it to just the odd
reading now and again.
Well I can't go anymore. She
said not to come along again.
got some sort of bad influence.
Something to do with being a
vampire.
Bloody hell. What about
privacy!
Have you two both just used
your powers?
What if someone saw for God's
sake?
Actually your front door was
open.
Nice to see you too Jenny.
Like your pyjamas Kevin.
Such a turn-on.
Emily have you bitten anyone
recently?
That's why we've come here.
We're hungry. Do mind if we
have some liver?
How's the doctoring coming
along Kevin?
Been drinking anymore litres
of donated blood?
Aw that's a one off.
Well doesn't seem
to be doing him much good
anyway!
I hope you are not
making any private references
Emily.
And please stop stroking Kevin.
It will only make him bother
me more.
Sam says that you
should watch some naughty
movies together.
That might do you some good!
Sam! How could you!
Emily's only joking, aren't
you? Say you're sorry.
Look I know we ought to
try and keep as low profile as
possible.
And you think that living in
that rat-infested slum
won't be attracting any
attention?
Snob!
Cut to the chase. How is Diane?
Wayne's baby sitting her.
We're keeping her at the
station at night.
And what about Jess?
Isn't she getting she getting
like suspicious?
t thinks that Diane has issues.
Probably wants to discuss them
on the show.
She has! She's been getting
drunk a lot! It's great!
I refuse to be provoked by you
Emily.
I mean what about this
detective?
Has Advent management been in
touch recently?
I don't know. Diane's not
making any sense.
And we all feel like we are
being followed.
It must be true. Have they
followed us here?
I guess.
Lets make plan B.
Pack whatever we can manage
into your car.
I'm not leaving.
It's alright for you lot with
your bohemian existence.
With what Wayne and Sam have got
it will easily fit into one
car and you are all in the
same place.
Yeah, Jenny's right.
We will buy one so we
don't have to leave any of our
stuff behind.
Yeah, I'll sort it out.
Are you sure?
Yeah. I know about cars.
Well It would make things
easier.
Do you need any money?
Yeah, give me five-hundred.
Plus I've got me bottle.
Aye, aye I see that.
Have you had some of that
already today?
No, none of that man.
Hello. I'm looking for father
Matthews?
My name's Jenny. I rang
earlier.
Bless you my child
you've come for your first
confession.
Thank you Father. Can we get
started?
Oh it's good to see you are so
keen. Come on.
No time like the present.
My child you are in the
presence of God.
all sins and secrets are known.
Please begin your confession.
Please forgive me.
Because I have sinned. Well a
bit.
Well in thought quite a lot
actually.
Oh I keep wanting to strangle
Emily.
Child it would be
wrong to harm another of God's
children.
But it is good that you
can confess your sins so that
you may be forgiven.
Don't worry about her. She's
not a person.
She's a little vampire who
likes to wind me up.
God wouldn't mind.
We are all equal in the eyes of
the Lord.
Besides this Emily will have
feelings of her own.
ou would have a job hurting her.
She is a tough little bitch.
You must drive out all these
dark thoughts and rekindle
love in your heart.
I've slapped her Father.
Oh it felt good at the time.
But then I felt bad. And Sam,
well he's my ex-husband.
Well he sides with her.
You are a tormented soul my
child.
Have you tried anger management?
I would.
But the thought of them getting
it while I go without.
Well it really winds me up.
But you are married my child.
I see you have a ring.
Oh Kevin?
He's another vampire.
In fact they all are.
I'm surrounded by them.
You seem rather preoccupied
with these notions of the
occult my child.
Have you spoken your GP about
these things?
We would all be sectioned if we
did that!
Father. There is something
else.
Do you mind if I ask you
something personal?
I'm not rejecting you.
It would be wrong in the eyes
of the Lord.
Rejection? I've had loads!
Even the medium's refused to
see me again.
Are you meant to be on
medication?
Have you got a
psychiatric nurse with whom you
can speak?
Please let me help you.
Will you come back?
Same time next week then?
See you later Emily.
Come in and sleep with me Sam.
Stop messing around.
I've told you before. I don't
want to hurt you.
It hurts that you
don't want to show your
feelings Sam.
I thought we had all this
behind us.
It was a mistake. A one-off.
I'm sorry Emily.
No it's now you are making the
mistake.
I don't care what people think.
It's not about what people
think.
It's because I care for you.
You know what I'm like.
So are you going to go
in there alone and smash
another bottle then?
At least that will keep you
off the booze.
Emily? Wake up.
That was nice.
I can't handle the feelings.
Please you are going to have to
leave.
No. Sam this is what you really
want.
I'm trying to get some control
back in my life.
You are mine.
Please you've got to let me go
Emily.
The pain is going to hurt us
both.
Does this really hurt!
Give in and stop fighting.
What training so they have in
counter surveillance?
I have never come across this
before.
I've never seen this before
anyway.
I would love to find out how
the hell they do it.
Not a word to anyone Sergeant
Handyside.
Sergeant Handyside
we need more information. We
need more intel.
They've some method of avoiding
surveillance.
Give me the order sir.
Well I'm not reporting
back that we know nothing
more.
We would be a laughing stock at
the station sir.
solutely. I've got a warrant to
enter the station and arrest
X-Ray Two tonight.
er when she is in the west wing
doing the administration and
photocopying.
can get an interrogation going.
- Exactly.
We have got to be a bit more
proactive on this.
X-Ray Two will not know what is
going to hit her.
Don't underestimate them
Sergeant.
Diane has gone dark in the last
few hours.
X-Ray Two may be daft but she
keeps on losing us.
Exactly. Yeah.
Emily Jasper? My name is
Mr Clarkson and this is
Sergeant Handyside.
We've come to arrest you.
And I would like you to come
quietly.
What the hell are they doing
here?
I am sick of you lot taking me
for a fool!
Is there a problem Jess?
Oh no! Only Diane who passes
for a manager
and people tied up in the
control room!
No no problem at all!
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
Silver bullets!
You lot disgust me. I'm
reporting the lot of you!
Good morning this is
Jess Edwards your early morning
agony aunt.
Feel free to call in
with your personal and private
problems.
But first, lets talk about bad
language on television.
I'm sure we have all heard it
and I think we have all had
enough of it.
Bollocks!
I'm awfully sorry. Really I am.
Just call in about anything you
like!
She's just swore, she's not
happy with us.
Stuff her it's none of her
business.
What shall we do with these
blokes Sam?
Help me get them down to the
van. And bring Diane.
Plan B Emily.
Are you still alright getting
the car?
Yes of course I'm not stupid. I
know about cars.
There's a good place near here.
Daft cow out doing God only
knows what!
Comes home pissed again!
What the? Diane! Diane!
Diane!
Okay calm down.
Who the bloody hell are these
guys in here?
Don't know. Never seen them
before.
What do you mean you've never
seen them before?
They're in our bloody house!
It's far too early for me to be
up.
I don't believe you. Sorry guys.
How much?
I beg your pardon?
How much?
For what?
How much you want for it?
For what?
The car of course.
Oh it's not for sale.
Why not?
How much do you want to buy it
for?
Five hundred.
Come on kids in the car
quickly. In the car!
Do you want to buy this one
lady?
In the car!
Greedy Sods.
Do you want to buy this one?
I've got to talk to you Jenny.
What's the matter with you Sam?
I haven't seen you this bad for
ages!
Come on Sam what's the matter?
It's just, I can't . . .
I have feeling for her.
For Emily? I know.
No you don't. I care for her.
But I can't take the fucking
guilt!
The pain!
I can't take this anymore.
Perhaps I should just blow my
brains out.
A silver bullet from
Diane's gun that should do the
trick.
You're scaring me Sam I don't
understand!
I love her but I love you more!
Don't you get it!
Why didn't you say anything Sam!
I've married Kevin now!
You've kept all your feelings
bottled up and look we've ended
up?
I love you. I fucking love you
Jenny!
Hiya I think Sam's in there
because his car is there.
Yeah he is. Come in.
I think they're in the kitchen.
Emily's arrived.
Emily's arrived.
Stupid little bitch!
Shut up you stupid little bitch!
Look you don't even care about
anyone except Sam!
Oh fuck you! Fuck you!
Fuck you!
re such an annoying little slut!
- Shut up man you stupid cow!
You can go and deal with them.
It's your problem.
You know them better than me
anyway.
If you're not too pissed.
I've got to go.
I've got to get out of this
house!
your fault I hope you know this!
- I fucking hope you know this!
- Little slut!
- Slut?
- Slut! Slut!
- You're the slut in the office!
cking kitchen with my boyfriend!
- Yeah my husband!
- You've got a fucking husband!
- Yes I've got a fucking
husband.
You fucking greedy bitch!
Two men want em you stupid cow!
- Aargh fuck off!
I've go to sort this.
Please let her go Jenny.
Let her go Jenny.
Don't hurt her anymore. Please.
Please, stop, Jenny please!
No! No!
Stop Jenny please.
Let go of Jenny.
- We've got to sort this.
- No!
Please.
It's okay.
Sergeant Handyside, two things.
One I've caught up with Diane.
She's sorted.
And two the plan
to put them under pressure has
worked.
They're falling apart.
Now we will take them out one
at a time.