We stand today at the threshold
of a great event.
Both in the life of the United Nations
and in the life of mankind.
This universal declaration
of human rights may well become
the international Magna Carta
of all men everywhere.
You only meet your once-in-a-lifetime friend
once in a lifetime,
and I had to travel a long way
to realize that.
That October,
I'd just turned 15 years old.
My mother was dead,
and I thought it was my fault.
Home was the last place I wanted to be.
I wanted it to swallow me up.
- But she wouldn't let it.
- Thank goodness you're home.
Can I run through my speech
with you one more time?
I'm tired of hearing that stupid speech.
I just want to make sure I've memorized it
and left nothing out when I introduce her.
And I'm nervous.
I'm sure Mrs. Roosevelt won't mind
if you leave something out.
You should come with me
to hear Mrs. Roosevelt.
You're the future of this country.
You and Max the Wax, God forbid.
I mean, things are hard for women today.
When are you gonna learn
that women need to stick together?
I stick together. Me and Max the Wax
are going to the movies later to see Gidget.
Would you at least pick Henry up
from school so that I'm not late?
No! Let the little wiener walk. I had to.
Thanks a lot. Dinner is in the oven,
make a vegetable and I don't mean corn.
One of the most famous stars
in Hollywood history is dead at 36.
Marilyn Monroe was found dead in bed
under circumstances
that were in tragic contrast
to her glamorous career as a comic talent.
On the surface, she seemed to have
such a sensible mind...
She was fate because of me.
She was hit by a car.
My mother loved Eleanor Roosevelt.
She said she was the greatest First Lady
our country ever had.
Women gotta stick together,
don't you know?
- Why can't we have corn?
- No more corn.
Is Dad gonna eat?
I don't know. He's busy.
He's always busy.
I wish he'd be a pumpkin man again.
We're not pumpkin people no more
because Mom's gone,
and he don't give a flip
about pumpkins no more.
Heck, I don't think he'd even notice
if one of us went missing.
This don't taste like sloppy joe.
I wish Mom could make it.
It's Mom's same recipe,
so quit complaining.
- And we're still a family.
- I'm itchy.
Me, too.
It's because you have the chicken pox.
I'm next, ain't I?
Warren!
Marilyn, rest in peace.
And RIP Jesus.
Elvis?
You chewed up my letter!
- I'm gonna have a serious talk with you...
- "Dear Eleanor...
- ...when I get home.
- "...my name is Maxine Wax,
"and I'm 15 years old.
"You may have already heard of me
as my family is very famous."
Keep reading.
"I'm writing to you because my best friend
Ellie has gone berserk
"and practically lost her mind.
"Her mom died this last summer,
and I know it would mean a lot to her
"if she could meet you
and get some words of encouragement
- "from a real trooper."
- Okay, skip to the end.
Right there, Billy.
"Sincerely, sincerely, Maxine Wax.
"P.S. You're probably a very busy person.
"You can just send her
an autographed picture of yourself
"because that would be neat, too.
"Thanks, Mrs. Roosevelt."
I liked maps.
I could look at the State
Farm Road Atlas for hours.
Opening it gave you a sense of adventure,
and that everything was possible.
Ellie!
And that you could plot
a new life for yourself.
And the red-lined highways
would take you there.
Ellie, are you up there?
Max the Wax and I are going
to Dairy Deluxe! Wanna come?
Yeah, hold on.
Hi, Annabell.
Say...
Say, "Hey, Max."
Okay.
Come here.
Don't fall. Don't fall.
Hey, look out for her.
- What, come on!
- You promised!
Hey, did you guys know that Manteca
is the pumpkin capital of the world?
I'm serious. Without Manteca
there wouldn't even be a Halloween.
- Hey, Billy.
- Don't. Don't start with that again.
- Billy!
- You guys know that
- I do not like that, Max!
- Billy!
There's your dad, sitting in his truck
staring at nothing again.
Come on, let's go.
Saturdays, we confessed.
Max loved to confess.
One time she was in there
for two whole hours.
But I knew my sin was so bad,
no amount of Hail Marys could save me.
You're up.
I got nine Our Fathers, 10 Hail Marys
and six Acts of Contrition.
And they want to see me again next week.
After confession, we'd go to the movies
with our cleansed souls.
We were good for the first two minutes,
and then impure thoughts
about Warren Beatty would creep in.
We're going to hell.
I understand,
that's probably a good idea. Hi.
I'll give you $250. That's more than fair.
$250?
I'm sure it is fair,
but Carolina's piano is not for sale.
- $300.
- $300.
- Why is your mouth blue, son?
- Don't know, sir.
- Jack, go wash your face, okay?
- I did, and it don't come off.
The thing is, we're gonna keep
the piano, all right?
Come here, come on.
Oh, my Lord, me, too. Come here.
You're hot.
It's all right.
Come on.
Let's go find him, come on.
Nothing.
Couple of little ladies headed your way.
Shit.
Third one's got it.
Fourth one's gonna get it.
- Get what?
- Chicken pox.
I'm not gonna get it
because I already had it.
But now she's running a fever
and she won't stop crying,
and somebody's got to take her temperature
and I'm not gonna do it.
Why not?
Because it goes up her butt, that's why.
She needs to go to a doctor,
but I'm not grown-up
and I'm not her parent so you gotta do it,
or you can do this.
- Okay.
- You are on your own, buddy.
I'll be in the car.
I'm gonna concede this game.
Dr. Henning to pediatrics.
Dr. Henning to pediatrics, please.
Hi. Thank you.
Give her baby aspirin
until her fever reduces.
Okay.
She don't look too bad.
- I'm trying, Ellie.
- Not hard enough, Dad.
- She still sleeping?
- Yeah.
All the kids are home sick today,
so you're gonna have to stay here
and take care of them.
I have a big history test I can't miss.
Okay, well, I'll...
I'll call Grandma and...
There's a party at Tom's tonight.
- You want to come over?
- No, no, daddy-o.
I'm going to Motorcycle Rita's
to get drunk and have sex and do drugs.
No doll's called Motorcycle Rita.
Yes, there is. And that's where
Marijuana Millie's going tonight.
No doll's named Marijuana.
Okay, maybe not your dolls,
but my dolls do a lot of interesting things
yours would never do.
Well, my dolls like to go camping
all the time at Lake Don Pedro.
And eat tacos and swim.
Who cares about tacos and Lake Don Pedro?
What's been up with you lately?
I thought we were playing dolls
and having fun and stuff like that,
and all of a sudden
your doll is out of control.
- Millie used to own a bakery.
- She sold it.
Can't be naked and own a bakery.
I'm going home.
Wait.
I thought we were gonna make s'mores,
and camp out in the backyard with the
Little Elvis and play records all night long.
It's not gonna be any fun
if it's just me and him.
Aren't we a little old
to be playing with dolls?
Yeah, that'll be the day.
I'll see you later.
Come on. Ellie's all right.
You have no idea how bad it is, Billy.
She's no fun anymore.
She doesn't even want to play dolls.
You guys still play dolls?
Stop giving me the business.
How would an autographed picture
of Mrs. Roosevelt make Ellie be fun again?
It just would.
Billy, I'm 15 years old, okay?
Fifteen is the age when girls start
to lose it and Ellie's almost 16.
- So what do you think that means?
- I really...
- I really have no idea.
- Of course, you're a boy.
Are you going
to the Rock Around the Clock hop?
If no other fellow has asked you to go,
we could go together.
I mean, I'm sure... I'm sure
that you have a lot of guys you like, so.
Listen, Billy,
'cause I'm only gonna say this once.
I know you think us girls think about
you guys all the time, but we don't.
Okay?
So I'll see you soon.
And next time, can I have my cone swirled
instead of just plain vanilla?
And can you dip it, too, please?
- Yeah, sure.
- Au revoir.
"Dear Max,
"thank you so much for your letter.
"At the moment,
I'm out of pictures of myself.
"But I was thinking
"maybe someday you and your friend Ellie
"can come to visit me
at my home in New York.
"Sincerely, Eleanor Roosevelt."
Now you look like you came from New York.
- Don't forget to check the mail, by the way.
- All right.
Guess what? Okay, I wrote
a letter to Eleanor Roosevelt
to get an autographed picture for you
and she wrote me back,
and she wants to meet us, so pack your bags
because we're going to New York!
We're going to New York!
Gee whiz!
...rainfall have left many homes
in the metro area knee deep in floodwater.
Power was out for three hours
in eastern metro
because of downed hydro-fines
and police report at feast 200 accidents.
No injuries were reported.
The search for escaped prisoner Frank Morris
and the Anglin brothers has been called off.
The three escaped from Alcatraz
five months ago,
but no bodies have been recovered.
I don't know why
I said those things to my mother.
I regretted them
the second they fell out of my mouth.
My mother never gave her speech.
She never got to meet Eleanor Roosevelt.
But I could.
Heads,
I go.
Tails,
I don't.
We're gonna get to see
the whole country, Ellie.
- Gosh, I love America.
- You've never even been out of Manteca,
and New York's a metropolis.
And you can't drive.
Yeah, I can. My mom was a feminist.
She taught me early.
Yeah, her mom's a feminist,
and I'm gonna be one, too.
You don't even know what that means.
It means you're gonna stay home
and take care of the Little Elvis, Billy!
Do you think she's gonna make us
recite the pledge of allegiance?
Maybe.
She wrote to you.
Why can't you be satisfied with that?
We should go visit my Aunt Daisy
in Las Vegas.
And I also want to stop by the actor studio
to give that Lee Strasberg a holler.
- Who's Lee Strasberg?
- Wait, who's Aunt Daisy?
I got a picture of her right here.
- What happened to her head?
- Little Elvis ate her face off.
She's really cool. She's a showgirl
and she has her own theater on the strip.
This is gonna be so boss.
So we're gonna skip school on Friday,
and I'll tell my dad I'm staying with you
over the weekend,
and you tell your mom
you're staying with me over the weekend,
and then when they find out,
we'll already be long gone.
You two don't have no money.
Shut your mouth, Billy.
I know where we can get some.
Yeah. Stop giving us the business, Billy.
We know where we can get some money.
Why are you touching Mom's piano?
I can touch it if I want.
Dad don't want no one
touching Mama's piano.
If I told you a good secret,
would you help me out?
But you have to promise
not to tell a soul, not even Dad.
Dad don't want me
keeping secrets from him!
I'm doing something for Mom.
But to do it,
I have to sell her piano.
And if she were here right now,
she'd be okay with it
because people are more important
than stuff, right?
I'll give you 5 bucks.
My mom and Marilyn Monroe
died on the same day.
I imagined Marilyn picking my mom up
like some kind of girls' night out.
Just the two of them.
The 1948 Chrysler Windsor
with a drop top in Robin's egg blue?
- The very one.
- Smile!
We're going to New York!
They'd hop into Marilyn's pink Thunderbird
and hit the road.
Didn't seem so lonely.
Seemed nice.
V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N, in the summer sun!
Put away the books, we're out of school
The weather's warm but we play it cool
We're on vacation in the summer sun!
How many miles to New York?
3,000
- You kidding me?
- No.
And here is our money.
That's all we've got
so put it in a safe spot, okay?
Holy moly, that's a lot of moolah.
I don't think I've ever seen
this much money in my whole life.
- All safe.
- Great.
Okay, I was gonna wait,
but since we're about to have
the time of our lives...
Okay, just some pictures of Mrs. Roosevelt
that I cut out of the library books
during study hall.
And I thought that we could put
some of our own pictures
- and some stuff in the back, too.
- Thanks, Max.
Okay.
Close surveillance
of the Soviet military buildup
on the island of Cuba
- within the past week...
- This place is a real dump.
...unmistakable evidence has established
the fact that a series of offensive
missile sites is now in preparation
on that imprisoned island.
The purpose of these bases
- seems to be none other...
- It just ate my quarter again!
...than to provide a nuclear strike capability
against the Western hemisphere.
And having now confirmed and completed
our evaluation of the evidence
and our decision on a course of action,
this government feels obliged to report...
A rodent just walked through the bathroom.
He did not look like the Little Elvis.
Well, who did he look like?
Like a little Jerry Lee.
Several of them include
medium range ballistic missiles.
- I think Steve will like this one.
- Capable of carrying a nuclear warhead
for a distance of more than
1,000 nautical miles.
Each of these missiles, in short,
is capable of striking Washington, D.C.,
the Panama Canal,
Cape Canaveral, Mexico City,
or any other city in the southeastern part
of the United States.
Why is he talking about missiles?
In central America,
or in the Caribbean area.
Additional sites, not yet completed,
appear to be designed for
intermediate range ballistic missiles
capable of traveling more than...
Capable of striking most of the
major cities in the western hemisphere.
- Ellie?
- My fellow citizens, let no one doubt...
- Where's the western hemisphere?
- ...that this is a difficult
and dangerous effort
- on which we have set out.
- It's right here.
No one can foresee precisely
what course it will take,
and what course or casualties
will be incurred.
Many months of sacrifice
and self-discipline fie ahead.
Months in which both our patience...
- Commies want us bad, Little E.
- ...and our willpower will be tested.
God willing, that goal will be achieved.
Thank you and good night.
I think we should go home.
I'm not going home.
And besides, even if we did,
we'd still be in the western hemisphere.
I knew those Soviets were up to something.
You know, they've been quiet
for a really long time.
- Good night, Ellie.
- Good night.
There it goes!
What are you doing out of your house?
I should set you free
behind the Bank of America.
But I won't.
Max would kill me,
and it would ruin my chances with her.
What was I thinking, Little E?
What's Mrs. Roosevelt gonna think
when those two crazy girls show up?
They're gonna call the cops and
they're gonna get arrested for trespassing.
Then I'll go to Folsom
for forging and impersonating
a former First Lady.
We have to stop them from ruining my life.
Yours, too.
Jack! Henry!
Where's your mother's piano?
It's right there, Dad.
Right where?
- Right where it's always at.
- I see it.
Yeah?
Robert!
What, Dad?
Where's the piano?
It's right in front of you, Dad.
Ellie?
She's at Max's.
They're working on
an outer space project for school.
Yeah, she won't be back until next week.
- Where's the baby?
- Kitchen.
Boys...
Why don't you play something for us
on the piano, Dad?
What the hell is the bird
doing in the house?
Bird? What bird?
- Don't you give a hoot no more, Dad?
- Yes, son.
I give a hoot!
Zion National Park.
- Where'd you put the map?
- It's in the back seat.
- Should be right on top, right?
- Yeah.
Well, it's...
- It's not back here.
- Yes, it is.
No, it's not.
- It's not?
- No.
I think I left it at home.
- You think anyone's gonna find it?
- I don't...
No. No one goes in my room. It's fine.
Yeah, Mrs. Wax, I'm just trying
to find my daughter. Boys!
So, yeah, so unless their project
has something to do...
- Dad!
- ...with making themselves invisible,
they're not here. Now I...
- Dad!
- What is it, Jack?
- When Ellie gets back from New York...
- Right, yes.
...can we go to Kentucky Fried Chicken?
It starts here, Manteca, where we are,
goes across the entire country,
all the way across
to Eleanor Roosevelt, okay?
Ellie's gone.
Okay, Johnny, I need you to go put out
an APB for me, son. Okay? Real fast.
Fast as you can. Call headquarters.
Hey, you kids listen to your grandma!
That, Mr. President, is the Soviet
Foreign Minister's public statement
about the policy of the Soviet Union
and of Cuba in this western...
I told you I knew how to drive, Ellie.
Max, see, for people to sleep,
you have to be quiet.
...the general assembly
on Cuba's foreign policy.
Faithful to these principles
of his international policy
and to the principles enshrined
in the charter of the United Nations.
Cuba constitutes a danger...
They're selling radiation-proof huts
over at McRooters.
Get this, Phil's got a scam.
Selling his cotton briefs
as bomb resistant underwear.
Bomb resistant underwear?
- That's $9.72.
- We should get some.
Have you girls seen the news?
Yeah. Do you guys sell that here?
You girls aren't
from around here, are you?
- No, we're from California.
- California.
- That must be nice.
- Yeah.
You have relatives in Colorado?
Why are we in Colorado, Max?
We went the wrong way.
Well, which way are we headed now?
North. Where did you go
while I was sleeping?
Not the right way?
Where is it y'all trying to get to anyhow?
We're going to see Eleanor Roosevelt.
She's a close personal friend.
- Do your parents know where you are?
- Yeah, of course, it was their idea.
They gave us plenty of money.
Listen, why don't you come home with me
to my ranch?
You can stay for a couple of days
till we know what's happening.
Call your parents, tell them you're safe.
It's a nice little ranch. I have horses.
What do you say?
- Yeah. Okay.
- Yeah.
Totally boss, okay.
I'm gonna get... Yeah.
And... And this.
- Max, I already have one.
- Steve will like this one, too.
You having fun, Little E?
We gotta go back for him.
Need a ride, sir?
Billy Hobgood?
What the hell are you doing out here?
I'm just out seeing the sights.
Yeah? Well, I'm out here looking for
my daughter, and my truck broke down.
That's what I'm doing.
Well, I can give you a ride.
In this?
- Yes, sir.
- Yeah?
This vehicle make it across country?
- I think so.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Okay. Good.
Because I know where they're going.
I got their map.
My daughter, she's just...
She's been acting out a little bit lately
and just having a hard time,
and just been dealing with that,
so I called the police and put out
an APB, so took care of all that.
- Really, sir?
- Yeah.
- You did that?
- I did.
Son, you got nothing to do with this,
do you? And be honest with me.
No, sir.
- All right, well, start it up.
- Yes, sir.
I'm not gonna ride
in the buddy-seat, though.
You have to, sir.
- And also, you have to hold the Little Elvis.
- Weird kid.
And he might poop in your pocket,
so don't get too mad.
Max, I don't know if this is a good idea.
We don't even know these people.
She seemed really nice,
and I really want a home cooked meal
and a bathroom without rodents.
Hope you girls are hungry.
Dinner's almost ready.
Yeah, I'm starving.
This place is great.
Can we go horseback riding?
Yeah, I'm sure my son can take you out.
There he is. Bud! Bud!
Splendor in the Grass.
- He looks just like...
- Warren Beatty.
Howdy. I'm Bud.
I'm Max.
- Ellie.
- Nice to meet you both.
- They're staying with us...
- Bud. Nice to meet you.
...until we get an all-clear
from the President.
Well, great. Well, welcome.
- Y'all coming?
- Yeah.
Yeah.
- Charlotte's quite the cook.
- Hold this, Max.
Be sure to call your parents right after
dinner and let them know you're okay.
Okay.
You're squeezed in mighty tight
over there, ain't you?
Do you guys want to hear
my greatest idea ever?
Homing pigeons.
Does this have anything to do
with what you did to the Little Elvis?
No. Take a pigeon,
and I drive it to a movie star's house.
Pick somebody!
Warren Beatty.
I don't think he likes birds, but I like
the way you're thinking. Charlotte.
Marlon Brando.
Yes, Brando.
So, I ride my bike with the pigeon
over to Marion's house,
show her Marlon's house, drive home,
and then I write a note that says,
"I love you, Marlon Brando.
"Will you marry me?
Check the box, 'yes' or 'no."'
Then I tape it to the pigeon's leg
and it flies to my fiance's house
and gives him the note.
Wait, the pigeon gives Marlon the note?
Boom. Flying fan-mail.
That's impossible, Max.
No, it's not, because I know
where we can get a pigeon.
Yeah, well,
the pigeon's not the hard part.
The making him fly with a note taped
to his leg to Marlon Brando's house?
- Yeah, that's impossible.
- It's impossible.
"Stella!"
I know this guy in Detroit
who got a pigeon
and he drove to his girlfriend's house
in Arkansas.
And then he drove home to Detroit,
and the next day
the pigeon showed up
on her doorstep in Little Rock.
There's a million pigeons out there.
That could have been any bird in Little Rock.
- True.
- With a note?
"I could have been somebody.
"I could have been a contender."
Y'all want to go
squirrel hunting tomorrow?
Hey, Max?
I'm pretty sure I saw Frank Morris
at the store today.
Who's Frank Morris?
The mastermind who escaped Alcatraz.
Well, Billy says
nobody makes it off Alcatraz alive.
Billy doesn't know anything.
Well, why was he on the Rock?
I don't know. Probably murder.
All I'm saying is,
I'm pretty sure
I saw him steal crackers today.
I need a cigarette.
I'll be right back.
You know, smoking's bad for you.
Well, not that it matters.
We're all gonna die anyway.
After all, this is the western hemisphere.
Can I bum one?
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
You look like Warren Beatty.
Do I make you nervous?
No.
- How old are you?
- 17.
You know you're not inhaling that, right?
- What?
- Here, go like this.
Try it.
There you go.
You got it, you got it right.
So, Why'd you run away from home?
- I... I didn't.
- Sure you didn't.
You know you can tell me.
I ain't gonna turn you in.
I didn't run away from home. I'm...
I'm on vacation.
Hey, you wanna see something cool?
- Yeah.
- Yeah? Come on. Let's go.
Come on.
It's beautiful, huh?
Yeah.
They're not 17.
Look at this postcard
Max asked me to mail.
"Dear Steve,
it's your favorite 15-year-old again.
"I was in the great state
of Utah recently.
"This is what my motel looked like.
Sincerely, Max the Wax."
I mentioned calling their parents,
they changed the subject,
so I'm gonna call the police
in the morning.
I think they're runaways.
Why don't you call Max's father?
I don't have his phone number.
You don't have
Steve McQueen's phone number.
I don't think so.
You better not.
Wake up. We're leaving.
Why? Did your boyfriend
break up with you already?
What? No.
"Dear Steve McQueen, it's your favorite
15-year-old again." That's what it is.
Charlotte thinks we're runaways.
She's calling the police.
Charlotte's making chocolate
chip pancakes for breakfast.
Gosh, we don't have time
for chocolate chip pancakes!
Ellie!
Get up.
You kissed him, didn't you?
Are you kidding me right now?
Why'd you have to tell everyone
Steve McQueen's
- your dad in the first place, Max?
- You know,
sometimes you have to believe
stuff like that, Ellie.
You don't know.
You know, maybe Steve likes my cards,
and maybe one day,
he'll pick me up in his corvette and give
Dave the what's what for a whole day.
And it'll be great...
- What was that?
- I don't know.
- Max, what was that?
- I don't know. You hit it.
Oh, my God, it was a squirrel!
- No, no, no, no! I killed a squirrel.
- You hit a squirrel!
- Why would you do that, Ellie?
- Because I was distracted.
- Well, why were you distracted?
- Because you won't stop talking.
- Oh, my God.
- One of the reasons that you like me
is because I talk!
You know what?
Are you serious right now?
I hate to say it,
but it's a great addition to the scrapbook.
I'm done.
- I'm done. Stop! Hush!
- You're...
Don't talk.
Let's drive in peace, please.
This trip is a disaster.
A complete disaster.
- Can we just go see Aunt Daisy now?
- Fine. Fine.
Who's Aunt Daisy?
- Stop. Stop. Stop screaming!
- We're just kids!
Are you the mastermind from Alcatraz?
- Is that what they're calling me now?
- I knew it was you!
I knew it was you, Frank Morris.
- It's Frank Morris?
- Yes! This is Frank Morris!
- We're going to die. We're gonna die!
- I'm not dying in Colorado!
Hold on, no one's going to die.
Now calm the hell down.
You know what?
Before you do this, you should know
that I am just like you, okay?
I put laxative in my teacher's coffee
and she was out of school for two days.
I have a longer rap sheet than you, Frank.
I am bad. I am bad, all right?
I am... Ellie, I am bad.
Max, hey, give him the money.
We don't have any money.
- Give him the money, Max!
- We do not have any money!
I don't want your money.
I don't need to go back to prison.
I want something else.
You are not gonna get any of the money!
Relax.
I just need a ride.
Okay.
Now, we're gonna walk in calmly,
sit down nicely
and you're gonna act like I'm your pa.
This is Sunset Boulevard,
Los Angeles, California.
It's about 5:00 in the morning.
That's the homicide squad complete
with detectives and newspapermen.
A murder has just been reported
from one of those great big houses...
- What are you talking about?
- ...on the 10,000 block.
- Monologue. You can't stop her.
- You'll see it in the late editions.
- Monologue?
- I'm sure. It'll play over your radio.
And you'll see it on television.
Because an old time star is involved.
One of the biggest.
But before it gets all distorted,
blown out of proportion,
before those Hollywood columnists
get their hands on it,
maybe you want to hear the facts.
If so, you've come to the right party.
- Make her stop.
- I can't. She's gotta finish.
You see, a young man was found dead
in her mansion swimming pool.
Two shots in his back
and one in his stomach.
No one important, really.
Just a movie writer with a couple
of B pictures to his credit.
The poor dope. He always wanted a pool.
Well, in the end, he got himself a pool.
Only the price turned out
to be a little high.
- Hey, Delores.
- Hey, how are you? Good to see you.
Hey, Officers.
How's your night going?
Let's sit up near the bar here.
Cool.
You rat me out,
and I'll tell them
that you're juvenile delinquent runaways,
and you'll be the ones
trying to find your way off Alcatraz.
Man, this is tepid.
Hey. Hi.
Can you heat this up for me?
And can you also put some more of that
"pff, pff," on top? Thanks.
Coming right up.
I hear you have to eat slop
in prison, Frank. Is that true?
You say another word
and that's all you'll ever eat.
No more "pff, pff," ever, you hear me?
I'm in charge now.
Okay.
You know, none of this would have happened
if you didn't take us on that stupid detour.
- Don't blame me.
- Like, didn't you?
Yeah, well, whoop-de-doo.
That should have been a clue.
You meet a guy who looks like
Warren Beatty and ride a horse.
None of that would have happened
if it wasn't for me.
Yeah, if it wasn't for you,
I wouldn't be stuck with this guy!
- Hey, hey, hey. Sit down.
- I'm not gonna sit down.
If you didn't write that stupid letter
to Eleanor Roosevelt in the first place,
we wouldn't be
in this predicament right now.
I only wrote that letter, Ellie,
because I'm your best friend
and I didn't want you to end it.
Maybe you just should have, because
you're not the only one with problems.
- Thank you.
- Come back soon, now.
Will you shut up, Max?
You don't even know
what you're talking about.
You kissed Bud
when you knew that I liked him.
- This is about scoring Warren?
- Yeah, it's about scoring Warren!
Sol kissed him. Big deal.
We're never gonna see him again.
- Sit down.
- I'm not gonna sit down.
- You know one more thing?
- I blame you
for not letting me eat
those chocolate chip pancakes.
Chocolate chip pancakes! Come on.
My mom doesn't even care about anything
other than stupid Cream of Wheat
and I gosh-darn hate it!
- She's driving me nuts.
- No, you don't!
- You're welcome. You're crazy!
- You're crazy!
Frank.
This is for your own good, okay?
I thought you knew me
better than this, Max.
I do.
Besides, I think
I like somebody else anyway.
Hey, buddy?
I got two kids just like that at home.
Hey, take a napkin. Clean yourself up.
Cops won't give a reward
to a couple of kids.
They'll just say we're runaways
and send us home.
Definitely, definitely no cops.
My gosh, here he comes.
- What?
- Lock the door.
Come on, open up.
Open the door.
- Open the door.
- What's on your face?
- Open the door.
- No, Alcatraz man.
I already bailed you out once.
- What's he doing?
- I don't know!
"Want to hear a story
about right-hand, left-hand?
"A story about good and evil?"
- Okay, I know this one. My gosh!
- "H-A-T-E."
- It's going to kill me. I know this one.
- "It was with this hand
"that old brother Cain struck the blow
that laid his brother low.
"L-O-V-E.
"You see these fingers, dear hearts?
"The veins go straight
to the soul of a man.
"The right hand, the hand of love.
"Let me tell you a story,
a story about life.
"These fingers, they were...
"They were a-warring and a-fighting,
"one against the other,
and old brother left hand,
"he was a-fighting
and it looked like love was a goner,
"but wait a minute.
"Wait a minute.
"Love. Love was a-winning.
"Hot dog, love was the winner.
"Old left hand, hate,
"he was down for the count."
Night of the Hunter, Robert Mitchum!
Loved that.
Don't leave me out here.
I think we should take him, Ellie.
Heck, this guy's better than Brando.
I can learn a lot from this fellow.
- Night of the Hunter, huh?
- You got it.
I got it.
Did you work a lot on your fitness
in prison, Frank?
Not a lot else to do on the Rock.
It shows.
Is it wrong to think
a convict is cute, Ellie?
He's an old man. He's probably already 30.
Everything's A-okay, Mr. Potter.
My parents are glad I'm gone.
- Got fired from Dairy Deluxe, though.
- It happens.
- Can I ask you a question, sir?
- Right now?
How come you gave up pumpkins?
How come I did what?
You're not really a farmer anymore, sir.
All your pumpkins are rotting.
I just see you sitting in your truck
doing nothing. It's creepy.
I don't know why you'd call it
creepy, son. I mean,
I don't get the problem
you kids have with that truck.
I just enjoy sitting in there
and smoking the occasional cigarette.
I like it. Makes me feel good.
See, I think you might get confused
sometimes because, you know,
you're just a little kid.
You know, what are you? About 12?
- Sixteen, sir.
- Okay.
Well, see, I'm a grown man,
and sometimes grown men do things
that younger people don't understand.
It doesn't make sense to you
'cause you haven't...
You haven't been around,
and I don't just mean
been around town, I mean you haven't...
You haven't been alive that long,
so you don't really know
what in the hell's going on a lot of the time,
so you get kind of confused like...
Like you do.
But...
I appreciate your being interested
in how I spend my private time.
Why don't you finish up?
- We gotta get back out on the road.
- Yes, sir.
You gotta... You gotta keep eating
- and just don't talk for a minute, okay?
- Yes, sir.
Dazzling Daisy's Palace, showtimes,
all right, 2:00, 4:00 and 6:00 p.m.
What time is it, guys?
- All right, comes to 5 and 30.
- It's 1:30.
Well, hurry up! We can make it!
Charleston Chew?
How did you know I like Charleston Chew?
I want a bite.
Everyone likes candy, Frank.
It's not that, it's my favorite.
If I hear this song again,
I'm gonna kill someone.
- That's not funny, Frank.
- Relax, it's just a euphemism.
- What's a euphemism?
- A nicer way of saying something.
- Like, lovin' them up?
- Yeah.
Frank, guess what I just did.
I don't know. What?
I just ate a peanut M&M
with two nuts in it.
So, tell me about this Aunt Daisy.
She was a big Broadway showgirl
until she married my Uncle Rocko,
and he thought it would be better
for her career to move to Las Vegas.
She's the best in the business, Frank,
and an amazing dancer.
Great, make it fast.
I want to get back on the road.
You're not coming in, Frank.
You're staying in the car.
Fine. I don't want to see some old lady
doing the splits with a hula-hoop anyway.
I gotta say,
it looks better in the movies.
Where's Frank Sinatra
and the Rat Pack and the dancing women?
Where's Bugsy and his bulletproof office?
Max, you didn't think we were going to
Las Vegas, Nevada, did you?
Are there two Las Vegases?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
And the one Aunt Daisy lives in,
that's Las Vegas, New Mexico.
All right.
This is certainly a full house.
All right, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's give a warm Las Vegas welcome
for the star of the show, Dazzling Daisy!
Let's go find her. Come on.
Max, are we supposed to be in here?
She's my aunt. I can do what I want.
Gone with the Wind.
This is like Clark Gable's suit!
We should get this for Frank!
- This is her stuff.
- I'm going to get it on the way out.
Jeez, she's got a lot of stuff.
Aunt Daisy, are you back here?
It's your favorite niece, Maxine!
Maxie?
- Is it really you?
- Yeah.
Honey!
What are you doing here?
Well, my friend Ellie and I
are on our way to New York.
We decided to stop by.
- Ellie, this is my Aunt Daisy.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.
- I like your show.
- Thank you.
I just started incorporating
the whole hula-hoop thing and, you know,
you just never know
how it's gonna turn out.
Sensational. Do you live here?
With all this stuff?
Well, you know,
it needs a bit of straightening,
but I couldn't imagine
parting with any of it.
This is one of my favs.
Worn by the Sandra Church in Gypsy.
What about this pizza box?
Can you get rid of this pizza box?
Give it to me.
So, where did you put Uncle Rocko?
He vamoosed a long time ago
when he couldn't fit through the door.
Would you girls like some tea and cookies?
Yeah.
Great. Coming right up.
Look. She circles dance auditions,
but then she just crosses them out.
This one's for next week. In New York.
We have to get her to go
to that audition, Ellie.
All right, catch the cookies.
My goodness.
- And the tea?
- What?
I'm just kidding. I'm not crazy.
Well, I might be a little crazy,
but not that crazy.
So, New York City.
My goodness, I love New York.
Yeah, it's just...
It's really lonely on the road,
isn't it, Max?
I have an idea.
Why don't you come with us, Aunt Daisy?
- That's a great idea, Max.
- Isn't that a great idea?
No. I can't go with you guys to New York.
- You won't be gone for long.
- Yeah. Just think of it as a holiday.
I can't leave all this.
You need to do this.
You see this audition here?
You're gonna make this audition,
and we're gonna help you get there.
Daisy, you have to get back out there.
You don't belong here, on this stage.
You need to be on the big stage.
The big stage.
Rise and shine.
I got you a present.
- Who the hell is this?
- I'm Daisy.
- Daisy, this is...
- Daisy.
- My acting coach.
- Max's acting coach,
- Lee Strasberg.
- Yeah.
You're not Lee Strasberg.
I met Lee Strasberg,
and you don't look a thing like him.
You look familiar, though.
- Must be a different Lee Strasberg.
- Must be.
All right, New York, here we come.
I gave Lee a couple of egg rolls, but he
said he'd be fine just sleeping in the car.
We should just say, "Dear Ed."
You can't just call him Ed.
Just say, "Dear Mr. Sullivan."
Ed is more personal, Ellie.
What are you two bickering about?
Trying to get on The Ed Sullivan Show,
so we can show him our dance.
- Your dance?
- It's a tribute to the late, great
Marilyn Monroe.
I want to see your dance.
Yeah, put on the record.
Well, it'd be much better on a big stage,
but okay.
- Good, Ellie?
- Yeah.
How was that?
- Amazing.
- Let's do it for Eleanor Roosevelt.
- Showed it to our friend Billy once.
- But he didn't say anything.
Okay, it's your turn. Max, get her record.
Yeah!
- This one?
- Yeah.
Any song but that song.
You know, as a matter of fact,
I'm not gonna dance tonight.
Harry Truman called Eleanor Roosevelt
the First Lady of the world.
She answered the door
to the White House herself.
When she wanted to learn how to fly,
she got Amelia Earhart
to promise to teach her.
She could only cook scrambled eggs,
and served them on Sundays for dinner.
And when the KKK put a bounty on her head,
she put a pistol on the car seat
and drove to Tennessee
to speak on civil rights anyway.
Eleanor Roosevelt stood down the Klan.
Good evening,
ladies, gentlemen
and distinguished guests.
Mrs. Roosevelt says
you gain strength,
- courage...
- You all right, Ellie?
Yeah.
What have you got there?
It's just a speech.
I'm just having a hard time
memorizing it all.
Is that why you girls
want to go to New York?
So you can deliver a speech
to Mrs. Eleanor Roosevelt?
- Sort of.
- That's exciting.
I guess.
My mom was gonna do it before she died.
I didn't tell Max just because,
you know, if I can't do it,
or if I chicken out...
She just thinks we're going
over there to visit her
and look at her gardens or something.
Why do you not like the dance
Max gave you?
I haven't really danced full out like that
since I was 19 years old.
But you danced in Las Vegas.
Yeah, I mean,
I can cha-cha-cha all day long.
It's not the hardest thing in the world.
Remember that outfit I showed you?
- The one from Gypsy?
- Yeah.
I was supposed to play the lead in Gypsy
for the Broadway premiere.
What happened?
Opening night came.
And when it came time for the big number,
I couldn't remember a step. Not one.
And the audience started laughing.
That's awful.
And then the stage hand dragged me
all the way to Las Vegas.
Turned out to be Las Vegas, New Mexico,
of all places.
- Rocko?
- Yeah.
That Rocker.
He wasn't all that bad, you know.
He built me the theater
because he knew how much I missed it.
But I never found the confidence
I had as a girl.
Max is right.
I gotta do this because if I don't
at least try, then I'm really finished.
I really want to do this for my mom.
Make her proud of me, you know?
I've just never done
a speech before, or...
Or anything.
Let's make a deal, all right?
If I do it, you do it.
Pinky swear.
Okay.
You can do this.
Come here.
Police! Open up!
- I swear, if that's Frank...
- That Frank.
Eleanor Potter and Max the Wax?
- We've been caught.
- Runaways, huh?
- All the way from California.
- Are you gonna book us?
- On what charges?
- Juvenile delinquency.
You missed school, you're underage,
and you've given your parents
a first-class heart attack.
Now come on, get dressed
and get your things together.
We're taking you downtown right now.
What? Where? All right,
we'll be there as soon as we can.
Okay, they found them in Kentucky.
If we get on, we can get there
in a couple of hours, put an end to all this.
Let's hustle, Hobgood, come on.
There you go.
- This stinks.
- Your dad's on his way.
Hey, copper, how did you find us?
"Dear Steve, how are you? I am fine.
"I'm in Las Vegas, New Mexico,
and I ate an enchilada.
"It was real good.
Talk to you soon. Love Maxine."
Here's another one
all the way from Oklahoma.
"Dear Steve, guess what I saw today?
Two midgets on a motorcycle.
"I've never seen that before.
Wish you were here.
"Love, Maxine."
And there's another one,
and another one, and another one.
How did you get my cards?
We have our ways.
Max, what is wrong with you?
I'm sorry.
I didn't think that we'd get caught.
I should have never gone
on that stupid trip with you.
- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.
- Yeah, no, you're always sorry.
Girls!
- Mom!
- Mom!
I've been worried sick!
Officer.
Sorry, ma'am, I can only release them
to their father, Bob Potter.
What? No. But...
But... Dear God!
He's sleeping in the car
and he gets so mad when we wake him.
Sorry, ma'am, you'll have to wake him.
I have to have his signature
on the release.
God! Really?
Yes, ma'am.
Well, girls,
looks like I have to go wake your father.
He's going to be very upset.
He is gonna tan your little hides.
Here I am.
Bob Potter.
- Where do I sign?
- Right here.
- Hi, Daddy.
- Gee, that's a nice suit, Dad.
You two are in deep trouble.
Get your stuff. Let's go.
Okay.
Wait, wait, wait. Okay.
You all lied to me.
I didn't know you were runaways.
I mean, I knew you weren't Lee Strasberg,
but I didn't know you were
the man from Alcatraz. Gee whiz.
You two were hilarious.
You should start up a comedy team.
How did y'all get that money?
Ellie stole it.
I didn't steal anything. I sold something.
That's the thing, see?
You're just helping out a guy.
A guy who went to the Rock
for stealing something.
We're three of a kind.
What do you mean, my wife picked her up?
She did. She left here with you.
No.
She didn't. That's impossible you see,
because I'm here, right now, with you.
- And my wife, well, she...
- Is dead.
You let strangers kidnap my daughter?
- Now, Mr...
- What do these people look like?
Was it this lady?
- Was it her?
- Was it this lady?
Look at it.
That's Eleanor Roosevelt.
- Yes, it is. We know that.
- No shit.
You two little ladies,
what are y'all running from?
Nothing.
No, you shouldn't run away. You're lucky.
I grew up on the streets making
every bad choice a kid could make.
I've been in and out of prison
from the time I was 13 years old.
I was inside longer
than I was on the outside.
Do you know this is
the first road trip I ever took?
My first road trip.
I gotta say,
I'm having a heck of a time.
All right, well,
half hour to sunrise.
Frank!
Why don't you just put the mustache
back on and come with us to New York?
Can't do it, Max.
Can't do it.
You could mastermind Alcatraz,
but you couldn't mastermind us.
Nobody could mastermind you two.
And Daisy?
Knock 'em dead.
I hope they never find you, Frank!
- Yeah, me, too, Frank! Bye!
- Bye!
- So long, Frank!
- Bye, Frank!
All right, let's go.
Get in the car, you knuckleheads.
You lock up Elvis Jr.?
It's the Little Elvis,
and, yep, he's in the tub.
He ain't going nowhere.
I mentioned to him that we're in Kentucky.
He just couldn't believe it.
So close to Graceland, yet so far.
- You talk to Little Elvis, do you, Billy?
- Yeah, I do.
And he wants to know
why you stopped farming pumpkins.
Give me a break, son, okay?
Been a hell of a long day.
Not in the mood to talk about pumpkins.
My daughter's been kidnapped
by a strange woman.
Could be Eleanor Roosevelt.
And Franklin.
And you should be happy about that.
- Franklin's dead.
- Yeah, well they're both Democrats.
That's way better
than just plain old Americans.
Leave me alone. Let me think.
Thinking portion of the night, okay?
- Gotta formulate a plan.
- Okay.
Little Elvis says
you have a gift for gourds.
And once a farmer, always a farmer.
You can't just stop and be something else.
- He says you gave up on life.
- Tell Little Elvis to kiss my ass.
I think he's right.
You shouldn't smoke in bed.
You know, growing up, there was
a boy on the farm next to us.
Nice kid, simple, though, like you.
We wouldn't let him near
any of the farm equipment.
Wouldn't even let him
sit on a turned off tractor.
Now, here I am, riding cross-country
with you, coast to coast.
You driving.
Life's funny.
Well, not funny, but unpredictable.
Well, I know about life.
- No, I know.
- I also know about family.
And how important it is to make sure
that they know how much you love them.
And that they're connected to something.
And it ain't enough for you to just go
and find Ellie and bring her home.
Gotta make sure that she has
a real home to come back to.
My gosh, Ellie, you better hurry up
because we're going to be late.
We're going to miss the audition.
We're already a little late.
- This is it?
- It's pretty.
- I like it. So ready for this audition.
- Okay.
Let's go, let's go.
Okay.
- All right, where's the dressing room?
- We don't have time for a dressing room.
Come on, let's just get you
dressed, Daisy.
- Here?
- Yeah!
- Just put this on!
- All right. Unzip me.
- Sorry.
- It's too tight. I gotta breathe!
Do you wanna get the part or not?
All right. No breathing.
- What do you think?
- It's great.
Here. Here.
- Fluff, fluff, fluff.
- All right.
Hey, look at me.
A deal's a deal, all right?
Pinky swear.
Pinky swear.
You got this.
- I have your record.
- Here's your record.
Just one more breath.
No, no, no. Okay.
- You can breathe on the way.
- Breathe on the way.
- Let's go. Let's go.
- Yeah.
- I'm actually pretty nervous.
- You're going to do great. Great.
Nerves are fine. Nerves are good.
Hi, hello there. Sorry.
You the 10:00?
- Daisy.
- Nice to meet you, Daisy.
Let's get started.
- You're late.
- Yes, sir. I'm aware of that, sir.
She's not a mind reader.
- Excuse me?
- Just hand her the record.
Could you give her the record, sweetie?
- The record?
- Yes, yes, yes, sorry.
- Sorry.
- Whenever you're ready.
You got this, Aunt Daisy.
She's incredible.
That was very nice.
- Thank you so much.
- Very nice.
It was the best audition.
They loved you. I could tell.
Those directors went nuts.
They were smiling,
they were studying you the entire time.
Mrs. Wax?
We're going to need
some more information from you.
- Go.
- Great.
- Aunt Daisy?
- Yes.
From now on,
no more Las Vegas, New Mexico.
I love you so much.
Never give up on your dreams, sweetheart.
You're bound for something big.
And you.
You give Eleanor Roosevelt
the introduction of a lifetime.
Okay.
Make your mother proud.
Okay.
I'm going to miss her.
So long, Aunt Daisy!
All right, let's go.
Looking for these?
You found them?
Yeah, you left them in the motel
when the copper snagged us.
I know it's your mom's speech, Ellie.
I know what you're doing.
You think it's stupid, what I'm doing?
No, I don't think what you're doing
is stupid at all.
I actually think
that it's pretty spectacular.
I know, I was...
I should have told you.
I should have told you what I was doing,
and I didn't, and out of everyone, you
would have probably understood the most.
Probably would have.
Sorry I've been blaming everything on you,
and I've been such an awful friend.
You know, I know that this was
supposed to be this really fun road trip,
and I know I haven't been
a lot of fun lately.
Ralph Waldo Emerson says that
a friend is someone with whom
you can be the most sincere.
But I prefer that you only meet your
once-in-a-lifetime friend once in a lifetime.
And that's from The Little Rascals.
You know, you're my
once-in-a-lifetime friend, Max.
You know, I don't really think
you need these, Ellie.
I heard you rehearsing the other night.
I think you've got it memorized.
You think I can do it?
What's happening?
I don't know.
Excuse me?
What's happening?
Didn't you hear?
Eleanor Roosevelt died last night
in her sleep.
Wait. Wait, Ellie.
Let's take one more picture.
Wait, Max, the guards.
I'll distract them.
She really had a way with people.
I still can't believe it.
Sir?
Is the news true?
Is it true?
Get back. Get back, please.
- Please stay back. Are you okay, miss?
- No, I am not okay.
Sam! Sam, come here.
- Can I get you anything?
- I am not okay.
- Sam, will you go get me some water?
- She stood down the Klan.
Good evening,
ladies,
gentlemen
and distinguished guests.
Mrs. Roosevelt says you gain strength,
courage
and confidence
by every experience
in which you really look fear
in the face.
Why?
Why?
What the...
Busted.
Come with me, young lady.
- Give me a second.
- I'm sorry,
but we're going to have
to break this up now.
Thank you very much
for paying your respects,
- but it's time to go home.
- Thank you.
Thank you. Come with me.
I stand before you tonight,
doing the thing
I thought I could not do.
Speaking before an audience of over 200,
introducing the woman who has meant
so much to me and so many others,
and having raised a daughter
who I am so proud of.
And now,
it is my great honor
to introduce to you
the greatest First Lady
this country has ever known,
the greatest champion of human rights
and a wonderful mother,
Mrs. Eleanor Roosevelt.
I did it, Mama.
And I left nothing out.
How long have you been standing there?
Long enough, young lady.
Now I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
Your dad is here.
We drove across the country together.
It was a little weird at first,
but I think we're friends now.
Come here.
Honey.
I'm so glad you're safe.
I'm here to take you home, okay?
I don't know what I'm doing.
I need your help.
I mean, your brothers
are like little wild animals.
I wake up, the little one's just
staring at me with those goggles on.
Where the hell did he get those goggles?
- I don't know.
- And he doesn't speak.
We can do it, though.
Did you find what you were looking for?
I think so.
That's good.
So did I.
Okay.
Max, I took care of the Little Elvis
for over 3,000 miles,
and I wouldn't have done that for anybody
but you because I like you.
Driving home with my dad, Max and Billy,
I looked out the window and saw
Marilyn Monroe and my mother
speeding by in Marilyn's pink Thunderbird.
And I knew right then
that I was gonna be okay.
And the red line highways
would link us state by state until it
brought us safely back to California.
Back to the pumpkin capital of the world.
All in the western hemisphere.
Ellie! Guess what we got
with a postmark from Ireland?
"Dear girls, having the time of my life.
"I wish you were here. Guess what?
"I just ate a peanut M&M
with two peanuts in it.
"Your friend and partner in crime,
Lee Strasberg."
Give me a hand, lover boy.
Hand the baby over.